THE SAFEWORD SOCIETY EPISODE 3 - YOUR FIRST EVENT

Welcome to Episode 3 of The Safeword Society.

Thinking about going to your first BDSM event or swingers party? In this episode, we break down exactly what to expect at your first lifestyle event, from nerves and first impressions to consent, etiquette, and boundaries.

We cover:
- Our own first event experiences
- What happens when you arrive
- BDSM and swingers etiquette 
- Do’s and don’ts for beginners
- The difference between kink & swing communities.
- Why these spaces feel safer than mainstream nightclubs 
- How to feel confident and comfortable

We delve off on a side quest into discussing how lifestyle friendships run deeper & how NOTHING is off limits to discuss with lifestyle friendships.

If you’re interested in the scene this episode will give you some extra insight into what the scene is like with no fluff!

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#BDSM #Swingers #LifestylePodcast #KinkEducation #ConsentMatters

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

I'm Mr.

SPEAKER_00 0:00

G. I'm Mrs. G. And this is the Safe Word Society. So buckle up because who knows what we're going to talk about this week.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Yeah, we've got conf conflicting topics this time, haven't we?

SPEAKER_00 0:13

I know.

SPEAKER_01 0:14

We want to talk about one thing, I want to talk about another.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

But I feel like we covered your one in about a minute.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Fine. We'll roll with yours. We'll roll with the path too much.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

The patrons can agree or disagree because they they get the extra bit.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

The patreons can have final say.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

So they basically had an extra episode.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

Just of us. I mean, not a domestic, but you know. A discussion around.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

Yeah. Yeah, a discussion. I I I I yeah. I just can't get my head around that.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Yeah. See?

SPEAKER_01 0:45

So you want to talk about do's and don'ts in the event because I feel like And what to expect.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Come on, let's just please everyone in the world.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

Because um I chat to a lot of people on Insta and you chat to a lot of people on Insta who never stepped foot in the lifestyle and want to go to these events. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

This is King Course Wing.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Yeah. They see us at events, they see us promoting events, and there's a part of them that's just like, I want to do that. But they don't know where to start, they don't know what to expect. Because I know it was a long time ago for you now, but what did you expect when you were like first event?

SPEAKER_00 1:26

Babe, I was 18. I'm 33 this year. Come on. Um I think I expected it to be very much like the books I'd read, like Okay. Like people in gimp suits everywhere, chains, whips, dark, dingy, yeah, all of that kind of thing, I think. CD.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is that is what you're led to expect. As I suppose Well, on social media now, it's it's shown in a totally different light, I suppose, this side of the world. Or maybe because we're so deep in that, our algorithm just shows us everything.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

That's maybe, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

But years ago, all you ever used to ear was keys in the bowl.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

Keys in the bowl.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

Dirty owl men.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

Bit of pampas grass outside.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

And nowadays an upside-down pineapple.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

It is, it is. But it it was just negative stuff, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

And so it did lead you to believe fucking hell. Don't want to go to one of these. Don't know who we're gonna find in there.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

But you look at them now.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Oh, they're great. It's very community focused.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

It is, it is. And I think in a couple of generations' time, it'll be completely normal.

SPEAKER_00 2:39

I think this will be the lifestyle for the majority of people.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

I think it will.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

Purely from even if you're monogamous. So, for example, let's talk about a kink party. A kink party is very different to a swing party.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

A lot of people in kink are still monogamous, I would say. I'd say it's it's moving a bit more open.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Yeah, there's a huge Venn diagram of swingers and kink now, isn't there?

SPEAKER_00 3:02

But some people are monogamous and they just want to come to kink events to enjoy their kink with the extra equipment, the extra space, the atmosphere, and to talk about people. Also the mindset.

SPEAKER_01 3:13

Not talk about people. Talk with people. Talk with people, yeah. Um, but the mindset as well.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

Um, because uh we've tried to do hard scenes in the house.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

And sometimes it is so hard to detach your brain from this is our house.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

It's so awkward to be like, right, I'm gonna go upstairs, and then when I come down, I'm gonna be in a different mindset.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

Like Yeah, and I uh it doesn't always go as the plan. That would what we've found.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

You know, so sometimes it something can just be off and you know, in the house. Whereas a club is sort of a neutral ground where the room's always the room. You know, there's no dogs barking or the cat's not gonna walk in unless unless there's any clubs out there with a cat. Um but you haven't got them complications, have you?

SPEAKER_00 3:58

No. And you can switch off.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

And you can enjoy kind of the build-up and everything else that they're getting ready in the changing rooms, the drive there, the you know, there's so much to it.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

The hustle and the bustle of getting your first drink and finding your space in the club where Maybe there's scenes going on as well, and you want to go and watch them and that adds elements. Yeah, a lot of events have warm-up scenes, don't they? Or um what else do they call them?

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Opening scenes.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

Opening scenes, that's it. That's the word I was looking for. Yeah. So tell me.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

Or like our event, um, Obsession, we almost give out some people now lovingly call it the menu, of scenes that might shock, surprise, or trigger. Yeah. And we send out times and locations of those scenes with a rough guidance of what it might be. So it might be water play.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Blood play. Yeah, it might be CNC. Yeah. Free use. You know.

SPEAKER_00 4:49

So and some people view that as their menu and they plan what they're gonna do around being able to watch these scenes.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like some people will look at the menu and be like, we can't do our scene till one, because I want to watch all of this.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

But some people will look at it and be like, right, I'm going nowhere near the dungeon. Yeah. When that's on.

SPEAKER_00 5:07

And some people go, Oh, whilst that's on, that's gonna be a popular one for people to watch. Let's go, because it'll be a quiet space over there. We tend to do that a lot.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Yeah. So we know, like, because once you get in with the community, you you quickly realise who the people are who do good scenes and draw crowds, don't you?

SPEAKER_00 5:26

Yeah, you realise the people who do a lot of opening scenes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

Yeah. Um, so you tend to get an idea of when they're doing an opening scene or a performance scene, or just just the scene, that the other rooms are going to be quiet.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

Yeah, and if it's a very busy event, you start to learn that that is prime time for sneaking on off.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

There was someone who came to our event who does this, and they told me about it, and I was like, that is fucking genius. Yeah. I was like, oh my god, you you just blew me mind. So then we started doing it, I was like, oh my god, you get the whole like don't get me wrong, you do get a piece of equipment to yourself anyway. And the etiquette in clubs is to be quiet around scenes and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

You match the energy, don't you? So, for example, some people do really silent scenes.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

That's not me.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

No.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

So if someone if I walk into a room where there's multiple pieces of equipment and someone's doing a really silent scene, we aren't seeing him in that room.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

No, it'd be disrespectful to them and we wouldn't get the most out of the scene.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

No. And in return, if someone needed a really silent scene, they would not come into a room where we were seen in and start dictating. So you pick the you know, you find people who seem similarly to you, and there is always people who seem similarly to you in terms of like I need a really quiet headspace, I don't, I like interaction, I don't. Yeah. And you you can just from watching figure that out, I think.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Of course, yeah. You yeah, you only need to watch 15, 20 seconds.

SPEAKER_00 6:51

Yeah, to see what kind of scene is.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

Yeah. Because there've been times where we've gone set up somewhere and been like, nah.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Let's not ruin their scene.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Yeah, and that is classic etiquette.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

You do not ever impose on somebody else's scene.

SPEAKER_01 7:05

No.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

And you'd certainly one thing I will say is you don't go up to somebody and be like, How long have you got left?

SPEAKER_01 7:11

Oh no, it's not the gym.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

It's not the gym. You don't ask how long's left on a piece of equipment.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

How many sets have you got left on this? Um the other thing you don't do, which I thought you were going to say then, is pick up people's kit.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

Oh, it's a bugbear. It's a bugbear. Ask people before you touch the kit. And 99% of people, if you ask, love showing off their kit.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

You Ask me. You will get ours out of me.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

And again, you're quite happy, providing it's kit that we're not planning to use that night so we can take it home to clean it. For people to borrow it whilst you're in the room, try it out.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

I'd I prefer if you did.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Yeah. But all we do is we say, Oh, you can have a look at this one, but you can't use this one because we're going to use it. Yeah. Because you we we always have tons of kit with us.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

We always bring too much. Because what you will find is, because obviously there's people who've never been to an event before, is especially when people are doing impact. I tend to do it with all my scenes now. Um, but most of the time you get one big bag with all your impact stuff in.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

You will take everything out one by one, line it all up in a neat sort of order, just so you can be like bop bop bop bop bop with the bat. I want the little flogger. Oof, got it. Rather than rummaging through your bag.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

Whilst we're on etiquette, don't be laying it out all over the bed or another piece of equipment.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Yeah. I tend to lay mine sort of around the bench or somewhere close to where you are.

SPEAKER_00 8:34

Yeah, it what would be designated as our kind of swing space anyway.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Because some people lay it all over the beds, and then someone might want to come in and do some rope in there. Because it might just be lab in with the rope, which is just kind of, you know, having some fun with it. Yeah. And they want the atmosphere, but they can't get on the bed if your equipment's there. So that's one whole piece of equipment.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

And then you're stuck in that oxymoron of I don't want to move your stuff.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

I don't want to interrupt your scene.

SPEAKER_00 8:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:59

But you've kind of took two spaces.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

Yeah. It's i it it's rough.

SPEAKER_00 9:05

It's a there's a lot of unwritten rules, and they're not unwritten rules. They're rules you learn. They are rules you learn, yeah. Talking and speaking to people and things like that, aren't they?

SPEAKER_01 9:12

Obviously, you've got the basics. Don't follow people around. Don't touch people. No means no. But I feel like any decent person coming into the scene would already be like that.

SPEAKER_00 9:21

Yeah, and you go most places give you a tour and talk through some basic etiquette.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

They do. They do. I feel like you pick the majority of it up on your first night anyway. Yeah. Um, the stuff we're sort of saying here is as you progress into being more irregular.

SPEAKER_00 9:39

Yeah. And we're not teaching people who know what they're doing to suck eggs.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

No, God no, God no. Um but yeah, touching kit was a big one for me. But I I guarantee afterwards, once the scene's finished and you know, the top has spoken to the sub and they're all okay, they've had a hug and you know, tidying up and all that. If you go over and just say, excuse me, what's what's that thing you use there?

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Yeah, and a lot of people will either be able to talk to you then and there, or they'll be like, Listen, I've got to do some aftercare now, because it aftercare is different for everybody. And I'm constantly raving about this on my Insta. Um, some people they need to deliver the aftercare then and there, but they'll be like, Do you know what? Come and find me in half an hour and I'll happily chat to you about it. Of course. The community in kink is huge, and in swing, things aren't overly that different, I think. I think there's a misconception between the two sometimes that both worlds are entirely different.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

Oh yeah, I f I feel like the etiquette sort of covers both completely. Like, you know, there's nothing that you do differently on the kink side that you wouldn't do on the swing side, I suppose. No.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

Because when you think about it on the swing side again, if you've got a space on the bed, it's your space. Your that's your space on the bed. And you know, fair enough, I say this all the time. People lose track of where they are, especially if it's like a group bed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're just using one section and they might accidentally touch you. But those people will then say, Oh, sorry, move away.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

That's what I used to say to people at the yeah, um when I was showing them like the group beds and stuff. I said, obviously try and stick to your own mattress because they're all like single mattresses put together, aren't they?

SPEAKER_00 11:15

Or in most clubs there, some configuration of multiple mattresses purely from the spacing for the big beds.

SPEAKER_01 11:21

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'd be like, so you know, pick your space, there's your space, so you might end up knocking elbows with someone. If you're not comfortable with that, let them know, they'll move along. And you know, if if if they don't move, and you've said, just have to get a member of staff.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

Yeah. And do you know what? It rarely happens. It rarely, rarely happens. Most people genuinely are like, sorry, literally lost track. Because it happens, it's so easy.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

Of course it is.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

I mean, you have to think when you when you when you're getting down. I love how mortified you are.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

Carry on.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

When you're getting down.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

I'm hoping you can rescue the start of this fucking sentence.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

Like, you don't stay in one spot. Like you you are like you know, unless you're doing belly-to-belly missionary, like you said earlier.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

That people need a safe way for.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

No, that wasn't what I meant. Honestly, I just spend my time getting picked on.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

You know what I mean by belly-to-belly missionaries, don't you? Don't you?

SPEAKER_00 12:23

Like the in-betweeners.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

I like the in betweeners, yeah. Toes on the eggboards.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

Yeah, just I just don't like that. No, I don't enjoy that vision.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

That's what that's what you're getting from.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

No, it's not.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Yeah. Absolutely not. I'm gonna make you safe words with belly-to-belly missionary.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

I would. Within five seconds, I reckon. I would see you getting into the position.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Couldn't handle it.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

I couldn't. What can I say?

SPEAKER_01 12:46

Shit house.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

Um but I feel like that's something you have to expect. And you know what I will say as well. Any event you go to, you will be thinking you're the only person who's nervous.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

You're the only person who I um I always used to say to newbies, said listen if you stuck, go up to the loudest person in the room and just say, I'm new, help.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

See, now I wouldn't do that. My autism is I just find someone else who looks equally as terrified as me and go and speak to them.

SPEAKER_01 13:16

Well, that works too.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

It does work.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

Because two people terrified, strong.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

Yeah, and you will find some of your, and I say this all the time, some of your greatest friends within this lifestyle. Because to have friends that you can talk about anything with. Anything. Anything. Like, you know, and let's not be realistic as well. In a world like we are, where some people are exploring this lifestyle, even if they're not going to swinging clubs or kid clubs, yeah. You have to be able to talk about things like sexual self testing or you know, oh I had a scare the other day. Why who have you got to talk to if you haven't got friends you can talk to that about?

SPEAKER_01 13:47

Yeah, it's um it's sort of shun though, it's like a taboo, you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

Whereas I feel like honestly, the friendships you create, because there's no limit to what you can talk about, they run deeper.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Yeah, they do.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

They run deeper. Like our friends now are our deepest friendships we've ever had because nothing is off the table.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

Yeah, when we went um when we went down to Bournemouth, me and um me and our mate were talking about dicks for about 20 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 14:14

Yeah. Well, me and our friend, we were talking about how different vaginas look.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

Yeah. Just completely normal.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Yeah. We were literally sat there like talking just about it. And honestly, it sounds really silly, but I think the world needs more of it.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

I I do, because if if I was with vanilla mates and we were in the pub or whatever, and we started talking about dick sizes. Like, wow, you're okay, you're okay, ah. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 14:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

You just get leathered for it.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

Yeah. Whereas I feel like now people talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

So we had a really interesting conversation about it.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

So did we?

SPEAKER_01 14:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

I mean, we were talking about what vagin what how different vaginas look post-childbirth, and does yours look like mine? Yeah, mine looks like oh yeah, yeah. We were actually comparing pictures, I'll be honest. We were like in deep conversation.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

I know.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

We see, so then we were To which we discovered I don't have any photos of my vagina.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

We started showing pictures then.

SPEAKER_00 15:03

See?

SPEAKER_01 15:03

Yeah. And we were like basically what we said. Or the gist of the conversation was um when you when you look at your own, you think it's little because of the ones you see online. But then we came to the consensus that the ones being posted online are only being posted online because it's a good angle and it looks big.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

But also, I'll be honest.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

I'm not trying to say they're all little because of that.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

But are we honestly only post the best? Yeah, but also most most penises in porn, for example, they're literally like 10, 11 inches. And yeah. I'm not into that. That's not because you're you're not you're not below average. You're you're not even average, you're above average. Yeah. But you had no idea that that that you were above average.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

No. I know and that's that that that's what we were saying.

SPEAKER_00 15:50

I love all this has de-escalated into talking about penises.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

Yeah, no, just bear with us. Um so we were showing pictures of the of like because of the pictures we used to take in the club, like Rude Rue pictures.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

We did, went for a phase of that.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

There was like a series of eight pictures where I'm hanging out your mouth. But we only used one of them. Right?

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Yeah, because no, because the reason we only used one of them wasn't because of your opinion, it's because of the state of my face in every other photo.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Yeah, no, but that's the beauty of it. That's art.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

It's not buttons. That is nothing but art.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

The mascara running and everything.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

No. No.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

And that you get like a dimple on your chin, here when you shoot.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

Horrible, horrible orange peel chin. Listen, anyone out there wants to give me some extra Botox, I'm in. I am prime candidate for that. My Botox has wore off on me FOD now as well.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

Alright, we're not talking about Botox.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

Um But that would make that picture better if I didn't have me little dimply chin.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

No, I'm not putting I like that because then I know you're struggling. That's like your struggle button. Um, but that's what we were saying. Eight pictures are yeah, I can only use one of them. Because it looks little on the rest of them. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 16:56

But it doesn't look little on the rest of them. That's just boys.

SPEAKER_01 16:59

Yeah, maybe it was. That's that maybe why you agree with me on it.

SPEAKER_00 17:04

That's just you guys.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

Anyway, what to expect at your first event?

SPEAKER_00 17:07

You won't well you we might see penis. We probably will see penis. If you're at a swing event, you'll see penis on the water.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

That was my conception. Because are we conception?

SPEAKER_00 17:16

Impression.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

Impression? I don't know. I don't know what word that was going for. Okay. But so we used to exclusively just go to kink events, didn't we?

SPEAKER_00 17:25

Yeah. You you were scared of a swing event for a while.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

I didn't want to dress down.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

That was it, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

That was the thing. I didn't want to dress down. Um because I thought swinger events would be as soon as you're in the door, cock, balls, tits, everything out, and just like don't you know the walking dead when they're trying to get through a fence and it's just hands. I I thought it'd be like that. Everyone just grabbing you and having a piece of you.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

But it's not.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

It is.

SPEAKER_00 17:52

It's absolutely nothing like the nicest people. It's very consent focused. Yeah. And not every single event is immediate dress down either. Some events you don't have to dress down at all. And that's universally throughout a lot of clubs. There are some clubs that are immediate dress-down clubs.

SPEAKER_01 18:08

Yeah, there is. Um, and you know, it it it and people are always terrified of them. And I I remember I was buddying an event, and it was only when I pulled up. This is when I was still scared to dress down. Yeah, it was immediate dress down.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

And I was like, I'm I'm going home. But there was no way I could have got home for you to get to the club on time. So I was like, oh fuck, right hand them there. Went upstairs, dressed down. And because everyone else was dressed down, I was like, I'd feel weird if I was dressed.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

Yeah. It becomes honestly, I can't tell you. And you grow some real body confidence because you see theory. Oh my gosh, they've got my body type. Oh my gosh, they've got my body type. Oh my gosh. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

Like you gain a whole new perspective.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

You really, really do. Um, so yeah, the the biggest confidence boost, just get around naked people.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

Yeah, and also realize how intelligent and everything. You meet people from all walks of life, both kink and swing.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

I have met some interesting people in that club.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Interesting. Um, one of the guys I'll tell a story about the other time. But um God, yeah. Just some really amazing people. Yeah. But um one of the the I wouldn't say it's the biggest thing, but uh a real common thing is do you have to play?

SPEAKER_00 19:27

No. At events, and you don't We've gone to some events and we've not played.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

Just have a social.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

We've had the best social ever. Do you know why? Because you go, you can have a drink, you can chat to whoever you want, there's no no risk of anything kicking off, or you know, everyone's there for the same reason, and it's just relaxed. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

Well, we went bongos, bingo, didn't we? Oh last year. It was your last birthday gone, weren't it?

SPEAKER_00 19:51

It was my birthday just gone, yeah. Well, not just gone.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

Obviously, we've been going to the club for like three years. Yeah. So we get used to this etiquette and this way of you know, consent and everyone understanding, everyone being kind and respectful. We went out into Pop World and we lasted the bike ten minutes, didn't we?

SPEAKER_00 20:08

Yeah. I was so excited for Pop World as well, can I say? Bongos, incredible. We're going back in uh June. Can't wait. Um, we've taken a load of people with us, a load of friends, and we're gonna have the best night out ever. But Bongos was great. Pop World, no, listen, Pop World, this is no reflection on you, it's a reflection on drunk people. I've never been unconsensually touched so much in my entire life. And listen, I'm not even the most attractive person in the room. So Lord knows what happened to other people because I had people putting their hands up my dress.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

It's disgusting.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Like, if that happened in a kink or swing club, you'd be removed instantly.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

People have been banned for less.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

Yeah, people have been banned for just rudeness and not even like following people around. Yeah, that's a big no-no in clubs. Yeah, but oh my god, it was horrendous. It was. It has put me off nights out for good.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

So that that that's just a selling point in itself. If you if you're thinking about going to an event, it's one of the safest things.

SPEAKER_00 21:04

And if you're thinking you're going on your own, you won't be the only one on your own either. I've gone to loads on my own, you've gone to loads on your own now.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

And it the hardest thing's getting through the door.

SPEAKER_01 21:14

It is. And what I say to people is it just takes one minute of bravery.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

That is it.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

Because by the time you're in, you're either in a queue or you're talking to the manager on the check-in desk. Or you're on a tour. Yeah. Well, no, they're two things a minute in, aren't they? If there's a queue, you're queue enough.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

Yeah. Or you're talking to the manager.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

So the managers took your mind off the nerves.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

Or you're talking to people in the queue who are taking your mind off the nerves. And then and then and after that.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

Yeah. And then once you're on the tour, which most clubs give tours now, you're again, you're talking to other people who are also there for their first time. Yeah. So you just honestly, I just think I could never give this lifestyle up now.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

No. But there's there's loads of clubs now that do sort of Entry nights. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

Isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 22:01

Like you don't have to turn up to the big mad wild sex party.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

I mean, if you want to dive in the deep end, dive on in.

SPEAKER_01 22:07

Yeah, dive on in.

SPEAKER_00 22:08

Some vo some people need that deep end dive.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

But there's karaoke nights, there's quiz nights, there's just nights. There's just social nights as well, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 22:16

I mean, listen, there's a really cool party called Glow. It's a uh rave. And I heard those hosts throw a bangin' night.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

They do, but they're nobids.

SPEAKER_00 22:25

Ah they are nobids. What are they called again? Mr. and Mrs. G?

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Something like that.

SPEAKER_00 22:29

Yeah.

unknown 22:30

I guess.

SPEAKER_00 22:32

For a good party though.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

They do. Can't take that away from them.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

If you're interested, August the 15th.

SPEAKER_01 22:39

Yeah. Your birthday, won't it?

SPEAKER_00 22:41

It's gonna be my birthday one.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Club Land Classics. For a bit.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

And also if you're interested in the kink night, there will be another obsession on the 7th of August.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Well done.

SPEAKER_00 22:51

Which also I'm also queening as my birthday. I'm having double birthday celebrations.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

I'm gonna have to think of a good scene for that.

SPEAKER_00 22:57

Yeah. See, look, I've done me a bit of cross-promotion now. I don't know, I I just felt like it was the right time to slide that in there, I'll be honest.

unknown 23:05

Slide it in.

SPEAKER_00 23:05

Slide it in.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

Jacob, how long have we been going for, my mate? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

We've lost our little w window. There. Oh, look there then. So what are we on? Okay, well. Okay, that's cool. We've got a couple more minutes. There it is. There it is. We've listened you can't see this, but there's a sneaky little telly.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

The fucking wheels are falling off.

SPEAKER_00 23:38

There's a sneaky little telly at the side that has the time. So that if we know roughly what time we start, we know roughly when we've got to finish chatting bubbles. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. So I feel like though, that's been a very higgledy-piggledy roundabout episode. But I feel like if you've listened or watched, you'd have picked up at least one thing if you've never been to an event. I think this is what you can expect from us.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

We're not polished, we're not pristine, we're just us.

SPEAKER_01 24:05

We're just a pair of knobs.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

Just a pair of knobeds. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

Um, but yeah, first event don't be worried about it because there's probably someone out there who's more worried than you.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

Yeah. And you'll meet some amazing people.

SPEAKER_01 24:16

Go find your people.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

Go and find your people, find your community. And more importantly, let us know what events you're at so you can come and find us.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

And I suppose that's it for this episode, is it?

SPEAKER_01 24:26

I think so.

SPEAKER_00 24:27

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 24:27

Because we're up and down the country every week. Oh, every weekend now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

We'll go everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

So yeah, we'll pop into clubs here and there. But yeah. And we want to find new clubs as well, don't we?

unknown 24:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:38

We love finding new clubs. We've got a few on the list that we've not been to yet.

SPEAKER_01 24:41

Loads.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

So yeah, we're uh gonna be getting out and about. But in the meantime, we'll catch you on the next episode.

unknown 24:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

And you know what I'm gonna say now? Love you bye.