Ep. 019 | Heartbeats & Hope: A Mother’s Double Fight and New Mission

In this profoundly moving episode of SOS Stories of Survivors, host Serina Dansker sits down with Christine Neidhart, a courageous mother whose journey through unspeakable heartbreak has led her to a life of renewed purpose, healing, and hope.

Christine’s story is one of pain—but also of resilience, faith, and transformation. With honesty and a heart full of purpose, she shares how she found the strength to keep moving forward, and how her mission to uplift others through health, wellness, and advocacy became a vital source of healing—for herself and for countless others.

This is not just a story of survival. It’s a story of becoming—becoming a voice and a light for those in darkness, and a testament to the power of love.

To learn more about Serina Dansker, purchase her book S.O.S.: A Lesson on Love, Loss, & Survival, book her for a public speaking engagement, and discover more stories of hope, healing, and resilience, visit www.serinadansker.com.

S.O.S. Stories of Survivors — Where Survival Sparks the Soul.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Hi everyone, and welcome back to SOS Stories of Survivors. I'm your host, Serena Dansker, and this is a space where we lean on each other for courage and resilience during sometimes the darkest times of our lives. And today I am so excited for you to meet my guest, Christine Needhart. Her story is one that is going to just blow you away. Imagine welcoming a new baby into your home only to learn that your child had a life-altering brain condition. Now that's really like just heartbreaking. And then a few years later, to have your spouse suffer a debilitating stroke. Well, this is the path and the burden that Christine has carried. But she was a former nurse and her instinct has always been to take care of others. But when the crisis entered her home, she transformed this pain into purpose. And she's going to share her journey and how she did that and how she now leads a thriving business with Arbon. It's a wellness business and she's guiding women through every stage of life with honest and health-centered care. Christine, welcome. I'm so happy to have you.

SPEAKER_00 1:51

Hi, Serena. Thank you for having me. Happy to be here.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Oh my gosh. So we're gonna just grab a cup of tea, take a breath, and let's talk about what your story is. I mean, I've known you for a number of years, Christine, and I I I still my heart like just breaks. And I'd like you to talk about when we go back to just your life before, you know, when you were starting your family, and look back on that day when you had your second child, and what memories or feelings come into play, and maybe we'll start there.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Um, with every birth, you know, with joy, excitement, and you know, all the wonderful things you're imagining. And we were very happy. Um and until we weren't. Um by the time um uh he was born and no one suspected any issues or anything.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

Right, he was your second child.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Right. That he was he was um born a week before his due date, and everyone, you know, thought everything was fine. Um, but he was having these um little jerky things, like like a little, like a little almost like hiccup, it looked like. And um they thought it was GERD. Um, started treating him for GERD, and I really wasn't sure. You know, I had a little toddler at home, a new baby. I was, you know, um recovering from a C-section, and um by the time about um within a couple of weeks after that, then um he wound up having a a full-blown seizure that obviously um we had called a doctor, and we was about two weeks time spent in the hospital. Um, we were finally giving um some sort of diagnoses, and um our whole world changed.

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Wow, wow. So that's just that's just crazy. So the just to, you know, I mean, I gave birth to triplets, and you know, I I know what high-risk pregnancy is like as we get older, you know, they are constantly monitoring you. I'm sure you were monitored during your pregnancy. And the doctor, everything seemed normal.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

Yeah, no one suspected anything, there are no issues, so we were all kind of blindsided. Um, when um on his hospitalization, um they did images um, you know, to find out with a seizure as a standard thing. And um they uh had me sit down. Um and once they showed me um his images and told me what had happened, um yeah, I um well as a nurse, you you you get it, you understand all of that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:41

I know when hearing bad news about a child, it just it just it just it's gut-wrenching. It is. So what was your first thought? I mean, did you just decide, you know what, we're gonna just that's kind of what I at first I couldn't move.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

I mean, I was numb, like literally, not literally figuratively. Um, I I I gathered myself, um, you know, from the doctor telling me that, you know, he might not survive, um, he might not be able to feed himself, walk, talk, anything. Um so we uh spent that it was like literally like a two-week time in the hospital. So by the time we got home, they already had early intervention set up. We our house all of a sudden got turned upside down with therapists and everybody coming in constantly to help, um, changed everything. And now my um, you know, little one and a half year old, he's like, what? You know, he doesn't know any different. Um, and it was just a path from there. But, you know, uh thank God now, um, you know, he's a teenager now, believe it or not, and he's um shooting hoops, getting three pointers.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

Um so you had the resources, so you had a team, right? So you so I'm gonna take it back to the beginning. So you had a team and and you know, how did how did that shape you know your your daily routine, you know, everything?

SPEAKER_00 6:04

Let's you know that um I I wish I had a handbook to kind of help that. I'm hoping this will help somebody else out there because it was a bit of chaos. Um trying to uh navigate um you know, brand new baby with a toddler, having therapists in the house six days a week, um, four different therapists on the therapist schedule, not your schedule. Um, you know, trying to coordinate it all.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

Oh, did you coordinate it all?

SPEAKER_00 6:30

Yeah, but between the therapists and our family and trying to get it together. You know, my husband, you know, trying to, you know, do the grocery shopping and stuff while I'm trying to, you know, manage them. And you know, so it was it was a lot, a lot of thank God. I, you know, I my husband is a wonderful partner, and we were able to, you know, balance each other. Our family is absolutely amazing. Um, you know, we had friends step up, you know, you know, point us in the right direction with resources. Um, I, you know, a couple of you know different, you know, books and um other things that you know helped get the right mindset because setting that mindset um was uh a big thing too, because I didn't have the right mindset immediately. You know, even being a healthcare provider, it's still like, whoa, you know, you don't know until you know it.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

You don't know anything. And and because it was such a rare brain condition, yes, um, there wasn't a lot of information out there, right?

SPEAKER_00 7:24

No, not many people um in the world are diagnosed with such a thing. Um and um called what is what is what he has called. Well, he's um he has an agenesis of his brain where um part of the brain just is not even there. Um and the so the part that's there um is just constantly shooting off um activity to cause seizures. So like your brain is always sparking, you know, different, you know, the neurons. You're I don't know, I don't want to get too technical, but um if it doesn't have a place to connect to, it's just it's looking for that connection and then that that will trigger a seizure. Um so he was having these, you know, all the time. Um, and we're still actually I just before I got on here with you, we were booking his next EEG because he has to still get constant, you know, hospitalizations and monitoring, medication monitoring and all that kind of stuff. Um but um where was I going? Yes. So it's very rare, but because of that, it it's almost like uh like he had a stroke in utero um and the symptoms or that result, like he has a full hemiparesis, so half his body does not work quite as well as the other half. Um, luckily, with all those resources and braces and training and exercises and physical therapy, we're able to um he's able to walk and do other things that no one else expected him to do.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

So I mean, this must be, you know, I mean, you picture motherhood as being one way. Uh, how did this change how you viewed motherhood? I mean, it's crazy, right?

SPEAKER_00 8:56

It is really, really crazy. And I actually I I wrote down with the poem, um, Well Welcome to Holland by Emily Pearl Kingsling. If anybody out there knows anybody who is new to the special community um or has you know some kind of diagnosis or some something different with their child, I it almost applies to any aspect of life where you're it's about preparing and preparing and preparing for something with anticipation, and all of a sudden, boop, you get thrown, you know, in a different direction. Yeah. And and all of a sudden it's a new reality, and you gotta learn, you know, a whole new world, a whole new language, a whole new um community, even because it's it's it's good and bad. Um, the the community, you see who comes through and who shrinks away. Yeah, because it is and it is a difficult thing for some people to handle, you know, some friends that became stronger friends and some friends that drifted away.

SPEAKER_01 9:43

So it's true. It's I see that too in in my world, you know. I mean, with losing my son, you know, and I don't think it's personal. I think just people handle things differently.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Some know, you know, they they want to be involved and come to the forefront and and and you know be there for you. And there's others that it's truly out of their wheelhouse, they they just don't know how, you know, or the right things to do or say.

unknown 10:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:11

I always say you you can never say the wrong thing to the right person, and you can never say the right thing to the wrong person kind of a thing, you know. So just if you if you're feeling in your heart, just say it. They know it's from the heart.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Oh, I love that. I do. I mean, many many parents describe a moment when the doctor's, you know, words just blur together and the room goes silent. And you know, you found your footing, you know, pretty quickly, I think, after that. Do you think it had to do with your training as a nurse or or just your your your the tiger, the the bear inside of you, the mama bear? What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 10:53

I think I think we all have that mama bear, yeah. But I I definitely I am very comfortable in a hospital. I mean, I've been a hospital staff nurse for like 20 plus years, gosh, 25, you know, before I stepped away from the bedside. Um, yeah, crazy. And um, so I'm very, very comfortable in there. Where like my husband is like, he steps one foot into the hospital and he starts having a panic attack. You know, he hates hospitals, which is um, but uh yeah, so I was it's it's a very comfortable environment for me to be in in a hospital. And then um, you know, so that probably did take an edge off and probably you know was a little bit easier for me.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

So the lingo too that was going on. To me, that is all Greek, the medical profession and the the name, the medications and the drugs and the diseases. I I just I can't, you know. But yeah, so so talk a little bit about that. And and and and how did you your your toddler? I mean, uh as as they're growing together, how how is that impacting him?

SPEAKER_00 11:53

You know, I think we we we still even to today have conversations about that, and because he didn't know any different then. And as he got older and he started noticing, um, actually the community we're in, uh the the school district, we specifically moved here for their programs because they have like in in our entire state, our little where we are has like the best um interventions you know available for you. So a lot of his um neurotypical, as they call them, classes had a lot of as they call them push-in kids, which are kids with needs, into the classes. So uh he has been exposed to that his whole entire life. Oh wow. Unfortunately, the program that my child needed was in a different elementary school than my other child, so it was kind of weird having two kids like a year and a half apart in two different elementary schools, two different times, two you know, so it was that was a little craziness too. And you had a trickle that too, I'm sure. Yeah. So I'm like, it's having kids in like elementary school, middle school, high school, that's normal. But having two elementary school kids and different things because all the activities are the same day, and anyway, um he he had that exposure, but at the same time, also sometimes his friends would invite him to things and I couldn't take them because we had a therapy session, or there was something, or I have to get your brother here or there, or um, you know, and then sometimes it was uncomfortable for the other parents, you know. So sometimes he missed out on some things, but I think he also um I mean, of course I think he's amazing, but I think he's even that much more um like well-rounded of a human being because he has that extra empathy and that extra understanding of people in general, um, whether they're neurotypical, special, anything. He's um got a special edge to him now.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

That's that's amazing. I mean, it's um I think you the way you showed him, you know, the how to relate to someone who needs, you know, special attention. And and I think he just probably followed your your leadership, you know. Um, you're just you're amazing, Christine. I tell you. And I I I know that a few years later that your husband suffered a debilitating stroke when you're already carrying so much. So I'm shh, I mean, how did this impact you? I mean, I'm sure it was, you know, uh heart-wrenching again. And and how old were the kids when this happened? How much time had passed?

SPEAKER_00 14:25

And um, so they're um middle school and high school um now when this first happens. Um, but we were sort of preparing for it as sad as it is, like not in a way, like backstory, backstory, backstory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We weeks before we got married, um, actually we're married 26 years now.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

I can't believe we're Oh congratulations.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

Um he had um spinal surgery. Um, little did we know he had spinal cancer, uh, cordoma. Again, a weird thing. That was my husband, but um, he recovered and we we lived life like for 10 years, like thinking, oh, you know, and that should have been my alert, like always be prepared for something, you know. Um, but thank God that all resolved and we were fine. Um then COVID happened in the whole world, everybody's lives got turned upside down. But then my husband got a cancer diagnosis then for lung cancer, and I it was totally not connected to the spinal cancer or anything. Thank goodness that turned out okay, you know. Um we were able to do the surgery and resolved from that. So um about a year after his lung surgery, we all wound up getting the flu. None of I've never had the flu in my entire life, none of us ever did. We all got really sick, and my husband, um, me and my older son were feeling better. We went out to get dinner, have a family home movie night, and we came home. And my husband said, Um shortly after dinner, we're getting ready for to watch a movie, and he said, I think I'm having a stroke. And I couldn't believe it. I'm like, What? I did a you know quick stroke assessment as I was calling 911 and he failed his stroke assessment, and um uh ambulance was there already, and he he knew he knew the symptoms of it. Yeah, yeah, and um, and we were we were ready to watch a movie together as a family. So my older son, of course, because he already has like I said, he's he's you know special, he he's super in his own way. That both my kids are special. Um, right away he he took his brother, his younger brother to the other side of the house, and he's like, Okay, what do you need me to do, mom? You know, all the ambulance screws coming in and stuff, and and separate. So they were like it was like right in their face, you know. Um and um it was uh it was rough because he had a couple of massive strokes all that night, and um we weren't sure where it was gonna go. He was on life support for quite a while in the hospital for another while and then in rehab for a couple of months, and then finally home. So our life, we're still mad at we're still trying to figure it out because um he still needs a lot of help and um very dependent on all of us, and that's not like him. He usually he's usually never in the house for more than eight hours, so that includes his sleep time, you know. He's always on the go, always doing something. So for him, it's a lot for him to take, for the kids to see their dad. Um, and um, but and when dad's feeling a little bit down about that, he's not himself. Um, even my little one says, Dad, you're all that we need the way you are, you know, like the amazing things that come out of his mouth are you know Oh, I love that, you know.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

Oh, that is so sweet. Oh my gosh, I was gonna act, you know. You know, what you know, what acts of kindness or was there a particular act of kindness, big or small, that reminds you that you're not alone in all of this?

SPEAKER_00 17:47

Um yeah, um, well, I mean, my my kids have been amazing stepping up and and and working through it through all their activities. Um one um that was really nice out of the blue, one of my husband's friends from like elementary school, high school, you know, you you lose contact with that good person, stepped up out of nowhere to help um make our house handicap accessible. Yeah, because um we needed there was no way of getting my husband in the house when he came home from the hospital. So we had to um do a couple of modifications and he stepped right up and over it. I was like, oh my goodness, like it was yeah, I can't thank him enough. So um I'm really glad they're reconnected now. They you know, and and it's wonderful. Just I mean, and and so many people that stepped up and to helping, you know, with meals and other things. We were running back and forth because even then when we got him home from the house, we still take them to therapy and you know, sure, just like I do with my younger son, but all outpatient and you know, lugging a wheelchair and everything else, and all the things and then you still have the younger son that you're still taking to places, so this is just still doing therapies and there yes, and there's you know, there's angels that walk among us. I I I I definitely even my my my one son now he in high school, he's gonna be getting to go to college soon. And uh one of our neighbors, amazing, stepping up, trying, you know, okay, what can I do to help you? You know, you know, have you picked out your you know, got your list together yet? Have you got your letter together yet? You know, and it's just wonderful knowing these people are there. And yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

That's gonna make me cry. That's beautiful. That's so I mean, it's just it's lovely that you have community and where you live, you know, it just it's a testament to the family that you guys are, and and people want to help. They really do. Um, do you have a particular practice like journaling or going to church or some kind of mindfulness that helps you keep your sanity?

SPEAKER_00 19:49

I do. I I I try to journal, but I always wind up falling asleep before I could finish a sentence. You know, I try to write about the end of the day. And the beginning of the day, it's like um, you know, and I don't so you know, it's like, oh, I look back like, wow, it's been three months since I wrote, you know, but I I do. Um every day, I I I I pray constantly all the time. Um, you know, but I I I truly uh thank God every day for all our blessings that we have. I mean, everybody has something. We have this. Um, I you know, no one's life is easier, harder. It's the life that you've been blessed with. And um, yeah, I but so prayers, walking, um, walking in the fresh air, whether it's freezing cold or you know, boiling hot, I try not to, but um, I will bundle up and get out in the freezing cold and uh get out for a good walk is always my um saving grace.

SPEAKER_01 20:45

Yeah, it clears the head when you walk, you know. I find that too. I actually I miss my dog, he passed, and I I used to just like to just walk with him and just you know, this way I I I get the fresh air and um it it helps clear the cobwebs out, you know. It does.

SPEAKER_02 21:02

It does.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

It really does. Now, I I I know you've changed from being uh your career as a nurse to an entrepreneur. And so when did you first feel the pull to to transition from nursing to Arbon? And can you talk about what Arban is and and and and and all of that? All right.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

Well, it's kind of a loaded question when I thought the pull. Um, I mean, every once in a while, every nurse out there knows that's like, oh my gosh, I'm leaving, you know. But like I've been there for so many years. Um and I and I I loved uh I mean labor and delivery. I mean, there you are for the once in a lifetime experience with the family, amazing. Um, and I I made this to switch from labor and delivery to risk um because I I injured my wrists. I I couldn't even spike IV bag, you know, trying to help them out. I I physically couldn't do it. So during that recovery time, I I went where I I um previous experience working in risk management. So there was a position. I said, perfect. I switched over, which was great. And um just a couple months later, COVID hit. So it's like, okay, wow, that was like really good time on my part, or you know, I was doing, you know, working from a computer instead of that.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

Yeah. And and everything went well. But then my husband got sick um with his lung cancer. And I think it was almost it might be to the day or the month after he got diagnosed with lung cancer that I found Arbon. Like I I had been looking for something to feel better. I had tried so many different programs, did so many different things and when I found Arbon, it's like a holistic health and wellness company from the inside out. Like um everybody talked about gut health is like the biggest latest, you know, your gut is your second brain or maybe it's your first brain and your brain is your second brain kind of, you know. And um it had you know a 90-day money back guarantee. My friend like yeah yeah yeah you know my friend convinced me to try a green drink and I never look back since I I've never missed a day since that first green drink. Within a month um my husband said oh my he's like you seem happier. You know you're in a good mood you know I was like well yeah you know like everything just started falling in place feeling better having more energy all that other stuff and little by little I went and they have a whole 30-day program and and I went in and that was all for myself not for business. I was still loving my job I love my coworkers. I still meet up with my coworkers even though I'm not there anymore because it was such a great environment um you know salary was fine but time wise with my family I I still don't have enough time for my family what I have to do right now. So it worked out great that I had this option of turning this into a business and um it little by little it was happening before I even knew it because people were like Christine you look great what are you doing? I went oh Arban here and I just gave them my link and they shopped and they felt great and then they told their friend and they told their friend and it was it was growing without me even realizing it and then all of a sudden I was like what am I doing? I could keep growing this and be here for my family. Yes and and it and it just blossomed from there. I went all in wow and and you went all in and so now you're leading a wellness business and you're supporting women um maybe even more so than you did when you were a nurse you know and um how does that make you feel I mean it's I I know that you've already turned me on to this lip balm and I'm gonna tell you I'm hugged I this is one of my favorites I'm gosh it's all my favorites but yes I I love that every it's a it's a a B Corp certified company so everything on there is like beyond organic beyond certification like so much testing um the the the the quality is is far beyond anything I've ever come across. But the other thing I like is like my one friend calls and says oh my gosh my doctor said whatever I'm doing keep doing my A1C has never been the best like in the A1C is like when they do cumulative blood sugars you know for people who have their blood sugar that she's got hers in normal range. Another friend who um you know got off pepsid I mean I'm not giving any medical advice there's no medical guarantees this is just a machine drinks that you're doing and and this is people's journeys. And and and and and mindset shifts we have a whole community that helps women like and men there are men that also are um you know clients and um on my team but that they it's it's it's going from the inside out. So you are what you eat kind of is the idea that we have um menu plans registered dietitians um uh brain um specialists like I mean everything you can think of head to toe aestheticians um so many people working on our team all together to find solutions to what might be bothering you or what you want to improve in your life.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

So are these like Zoom calls that you know we can join that you put out or how does it work?

SPEAKER_00 26:08

We do um we have different communities um like right now we're doing radiate um um radiate from within because we have our new gummy multivitamin um I call it like the little fountain of wealth uh I'm sorry fountain of youth which is a fountain of wealth because it's amazing um it's um uh uh all um about your having your cells hydrate and having your um skin glow from within but um it's a whole community where women go into the chat and you can just sit there and listen or you can participate. Sometimes we have fun games and stuff but that's just like one chat then we do like planks and shakes people like every day adding an extra plank and making having your shake we have um all different diets like like recipes um carnivore vegetarian pescatelian like whatever kind of diet you follow there's different menu plans um it's it's larger than just a shake and a drink but we all just start with the drink then we then all of a sudden we realize and we dive into the lip balm next I love the lip fluffing balm it's awesome but yeah I um I I talk to a lot of people about you know as we age and we get into our 50s and we start having the hot sweats probably even in your 40s you know for for those uh young younger women just beginning um and it lasts a long time these hormonal imbalances so we're always looking for things without having to take you know um medication that's our Hercore line it's phenomenal um without TMI um I don't know if anybody's had to peel their PJs off you know in the middle of the night and get a fresh pair of PJs because they just sweated so much. Sweat. I started their they have a system for each stage of your life from psycho support to prenatal to perimenopausal menopausal support. And within about a week or two I didn't even think about it. I just started the vitamins because I only share what I love. And if I don't use it I don't share it. So there's over 400 products to share but within two weeks I woke up I'm like my pajamas were bone dry like I I didn't sweat at all last night. You know it was almost kind of funny that you know like and I was just like wow it really I never I I saw the studies you know that they did and I'm like okay but you know seeing is believing experiencing is believing and I mean I try everything obviously before sharing it and everything has its 90 day you know guarantee money back whatever that's where I started the green drink but I I was just blown away and everybody I'm hearing about um a salon owners you know raving about the shampoo and I'm like wow you know like it just makes you feel shampoo too just so you know um yeah it's it it it's exciting when I hear people you know call back and tell me how great they're feeling and how much I'm impacting them. And I really do feel like I'm impacting people's health more now than I was before because here here it was like here's this drug this is this side effect and you know this is what we're doing and and here's you know and I'm not saying if it wasn't for medicine my son and my husband wouldn't be here. You know what I mean? There's a place for everything in life but I try to do everything as like holistically and naturally as possible and um that this company um has everything we need that's wheat free um gluten gluten free that means um soy free um everything's vegan I'm not vegan but all the products are vegan which also just means it's one step higher because things that are not vegan even though it's a piece of makeup you're not consuming there could be like what we call roadkill um like remnants is the the companies buy they melt it down and that's what they use for like the ingredients for like fats and stuff and they relabel it a different prettier name.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

I don't even know we won't go there we'll keep it honey up but I'm glad it's vegan so that's one thing one last thing to have to worry about oh my gosh I I think that that's incredible what you're doing.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

And I mean do you have a piece of advice for listeners overwhelmed you know just by caregiving like you do or or burning out maybe one gentle doable first step toward reclaiming their health is there something you recommend I through trial and error and through my um bad experiences I'll share with you guys you know like when I feel myself like ready to explode I'm like oh my gosh you know I go to snap at you know one of my kids I'm like oh my gosh that's that's not it you know just take a breath um and one of the things having a special needs kid they go through all different kinds of things telling them teaching them how to you know decompress and the parents how to decompress and he'll remember the tools like remember mom stop and take a breath you know and then and you know but it's it's true you stop and take a breath uh do a stretch and sometimes you can't even find that five minutes in a day for yourself just go to the bathroom take one extra minute in that bathroom don't open the door until you've taken a breath cleared your mind um do a stretch I like one where you just lean against the wall like a push up against the wall and you just push and stress and push the stress away let it release from your shoulders shake it and and then walk out of the room you know refreshed I mean that's as simple as that I mean if you have time to quick run around the block or you know but you sometimes you can't always get away you know um they follow you sometimes I remember they follow me into the bathroom I'm like no yes the dogs even they bust open the door and so people excuse me exactly the dog goes in like waiting until he comes like the dog okay try try to find your time try to find that five minutes but where wherever you can dictate that time because I mean again like they say when you get an airplane you know you gotta put the oxygen mask on yourself first or you're not gonna be any good to anybody else. Yeah so try to remember that as well in whatever it is that helps you feel better. Put a smile on your face a funny joke laughter is the best medicine you know little kids laugh all the time adults how many times do you belly laugh you know that belly laughing is good for your immune system it's good for everything make sure your belly laugh every day I love that I too I love that yours you're just so beautiful oh my gosh and I talk a little bit about you know how you bring that love of life into your relationship with your husband who's he's suffering you know through the stroke and it's it's your relationship is different now than than it was even when he had the cancer diagnosis and what does that look like I how do you we learn to connect while navigating his recovery you know it's it's I mean it's it's a challenge still I mean every day I mean every marriage is a challenge no matter what's going on yeah but I mean being it's such a like I said he never was like in the house for more than eight hours a day ever always on the road now that he's here all the time it's it's hard on him I you know I mean we've always been friends we've always been great partners we've always balanced it you know and and we kind of worked that I mean it and when I look back I'm thinking like like after 9-11 a lot of people changed like we never ever leave each other without saying I love you like even even even before that like if we ever you know had an argument or something you know like the whole thing you never go to bed angry we was always you know I love you I don't care if I'm sitting in a puddle of mud I'd rather sit in a puddle of mud with you than without you kind of thing you know and no matter what yeah we're always friends and always you know have that no matter what that we leave everything on a positive note yeah that's it's that's just beautiful and and I think you know how you communicate you know it doesn't always have to be in words or the way it used to be you know love shines through I think in in every act in every expression in and just you know everything you you do for each other you know and I know um his mobility is limited but I'm sure he's encouraging you every step of the way um you know just before I got on here it's like go have a blast I love him he's so sweet that's awesome um if you could sit with a parent who just received a scary diagnosis for their child what truth would you whisper to them I always have hope and not everything's always going to turn out the way you want it to be sometimes it turns out better sometimes there's a different silver lining or a different meaning that needs to be learned from it but always have hope because what they tell you isn't always true with certain diagnoses.

SPEAKER_01 35:19

Like I said they weren't sure if my son would eat sit up or walk and now he you know he was a monkai pizza for lunch you know basketball is with three pointers right exactly he loves basketball's favorites and he you know we have him on you know it's it's special leagues but he's on the basketball um baseball you know we do we did the equine therapy since he's three years old riding the horses um you know it's it always just you know take a step forward take another step forward it that you know take another direction that that door closes open another door that closes open another door and if all the doors are closed build your own door and like you know bust out of the room because that's right that's it you gotta break it down break through the wall whatever it takes I love that is there any like resources or communities um things that made the biggest difference for you and your family that maybe people just don't know exist or know about do you do you have any hints like that?

SPEAKER_00 36:20

Oh my god there are so many I mean if anybody I mean they could contact me through my website whatever but contact me just even just about that not even about you know any question on special needs because they're so I'm still learning I mean especially as he's getting older and different things um each community like where I live um their the early intervention community they have so many resources they will direct you um especially if it's a young child like pre-kindergarten age they will um have a caseworker come help you find and navigate your community's resources um as they once they get into school the schools will all have you need to ask though um whatever your concern is you might not know what it is you need or you might not know what resources is there but when you ask then you will find out um and even still just last year when everything was turning well upside down for us with my husband and my child the school psychologists called to check on us and said oh we have this and I'm like oh I didn't even know that was possible you know kind of a thing like you know different you know resources in the community that are available so um just always ask there's somebody in I mean there's so many good people in the world like you know people complain about this or that there's so much more good than anything and it is there um ask your school ask your pediatrician um they there it's there and depending what town you're in there's different resources and depending what state you're in even more so different resources but um be afraid you got to be vocal right you know in the private communities um there's um like for us there's epilepsy groups um there's cybopalsy groups um there's you know stroke survivor groups there's there's so many different places that yeah you can go oh that's so great oh I'm gonna switch gears a little bit and try and lighten things up and um can you tell me about uh a song maybe that you play that gives you your lift or that that always makes you happier smile. Well um I drive everybody crazy but every time you get in the car I have always my K love on Christian contemporary rock music whatever I have to say um John Reddick his uh no fear um I sometimes have to scream that out at times because um it's a it's a great song and uh and I think he actually wrote it about um or or during a time that his wife was going through an illness too so you know really um I I like that song um and there's there's a couple of different songs um with uh King Country they have a couple of songs that really get me going and lift me up and yeah it's awesome you have a little dance party you know is there a um uh a book maybe that that fills your cup or a book you'd recommend I'm sure there's many but one that that you can recall well the first one that really helped me was um the brain that heals itself because that was um one of the first books I read about for my son um but uh there's been hundreds of books um that that have been helpful um luckily you know we have we live in a time that there's a lot of available out there for us um but I would probably say that was probably my favorite book it's amazing what the blank brain could do all the plasticity and um for all of us not just someone you know we can all keep going more and more yeah oh my gosh I know I know what about how about your go-to comfort meal pizza I love pizza too easy and delicious oh my gosh all right here's one here's this is a good one for you what's a five minute self-care habit that you swear by probably to reset my whole mood like that spa time in the shower yeah I like like talk about like wash that day right out of your hair I it really does it you know I get in there with all my stuff and I feel like a new woman you know within like 30 minutes it's like wow I've been reborn I love that all right what's one thing that you're really excited about right now right now um gosh I'm so excited about getting my one son ready for college getting my other well soon next year and you know but with that that journey of trying to find out where we're going um my other son getting ready to go to high school um my business is booming getting ready to go to the next level there and um trying to see what the next adventure is going to be for our family um trying to plan it all out all right and finish the sentence hope to me is love is like the first word that comes to mind I don't know why but I I think with love anything is possible. So hope is there.

SPEAKER_01 41:29

I love that I do I I think that's beautiful and when you picture your family five years from now what do you see that fills you with all of that hope I see my boys all smiling together and having fun and maybe on an adventure somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 41:48

And if our listeners can remember only one thing from your journey what do you want that takeaway to be never give up always move forward always know tomorrow's gonna be a better day no matter where you are it's always a better day tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01 42:05

Even if tomorrow's the worst day it's gonna get better the next day you get through the worst days don't you you know sometimes you don't think in the moment that you're going to but by putting that one foot in front of the other you do you get through it and you get to the next day and you surprise yourself you do I all the time I surprise myself by doing that. And very importantly Christine very slowly I want you to tell our listeners how they can reach out to you to support you and learn more about Arbon but also learn about your journey and all the the wonderful tidbits that you have for information. So okay go for it.

SPEAKER_00 42:47

So you can contact me at Christine Needhart that's my name C-H-R-S-T-N-E N-E-I-D-H-R-T. And so it's Christine needh dot Arbon dot com. And it's Arbon A R B O N N E. So Christine Needhart.arban.com and you just click contact me and um I'll be happy to get back to you about anything you want to talk about.

SPEAKER_01 43:13

Ah that sounds awesome Christine and I know that um Christine believes so deeply in supporting women's health that um she will have a discount if you do order through her uh but send her a contact and she'll tell you about the discount and um I end each interview with one of my son Scott's poems and I pick this poem because um it's about trying to be free but feeling confined and you can hear it in his words. It's um I just thought it related a little bit to the situation that both your husband and and your son you know feel at times and and actually frankly all of us feel at times. So bear with me here as I read it to you. To the beautiful town of mine that falls to its own demise. Yes, there are substitutes for happiness. Caffeine, marijuana, nicotine. But I still don't believe the fight I make to survive in a town where I don't subside into some random compromise where everything and everyone is okay. Because they're not. People are faking it. Parents are making it. All you gotta do is match everyone, or else you will be forsaken it. You gotta dress like them, you gotta talk like them, you gotta walk like them. Because that's the only way to survive in a town where everything is afraid of everyone. Now, if you try to defy these rules that have been locked up tight, and you try to spread your wings, you try to fly, you'll be shot down by everyone you know and love. Because if you see like I see, then you will see right through the lies that are hidden behind this beautiful town of mine. And you will see you can't spread your wings and you cannot fly. But if your color isn't the same as line paper and the holy Lord Jesus Christ ain't by your side, you will be rejected, neglected, and never respected. There is too much restraint holding me back to be the best person I can be and strive to be. Too many people say I'm wrong when I know I'm right. I'm tired of being like everyone else. When I know I can be better, it's time to get my hands wetter, perform better, and fight back. Because if I try hard enough, everyone will be a forgetter. They will forget those times when I messed up, fessed up, and I didn't dress up because I don't want to match everyone else. But I have to. It's not a choice anymore. It's a need. I can't catch that speed that I need to succeed if I left this town, drag me down. 15 years old, he had a lot to say, you know. It's uh one of those poems that I'm like, wow, you know, I try and take it all in, but uh you can see that you know, just feeling constrained, just not being able to to be who you are because you're you're constrained in whatever way into your body and by limited by the the town that you live in, or or you know, just what fate has in store for you. It's uh it's just really, really interesting. And um I want to tell our SOS community um that Christine and story, I hope it inspires you, and that you're take advantage of her generous offers and know that she is resilience, like the definition of it. She is such a beautiful soul in person, and I feel so blessed to have had you on my show, and I can't thank you enough. And um, please join us next week on SOS Stories of Survivors, where survival sparks the soul. Thank you so much, you know. Thank you.