Ep. 018 | Pivot, Prosper & Thrive — A Self-Love Club Reunion

In this powerful reunion of the Self-Love Club, host Serina Dansker brings together a circle of resilient, radiant women who embody the spirit of transformation. In this heartfelt and wisdom-filled episode, these remarkable survivors share what it truly means to pivot with courage, prosper with intention, and thrive with authenticity.

From daring career reinventions to grounded financial empowerment, every story shared is a testimony to the strength found in self-worth and sisterhood. Whether you’re navigating a transition or simply searching for your next spark of inspiration, you’ll find practical tools, emotional truth, and the kind of motivation that lingers long after the show ends.

To learn more about Serina Dansker, purchase her book S.O.S.: A Lesson on Love, Loss, & Survival, book her for a public speaking engagement, and discover more stories of hope, healing, and resilience, visit www.serinadansker.com.

S.O.S. Stories of Survivors — Where Survival Sparks the Soul.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Hey there, and welcome back to SOS Stories of Survivors. I'm your host, Serena Dansker, and it is my absolute pleasure to welcome this group of lovely ladies. It's the SOS Self-Love Club. And today we are gathering with these wise women to talk about some funny, soulful, just great facts and all about our journeys in life. And today we're going to talk about reinvention after 50, returning to the workforce if you've left or you've had to pivot careers, and also some really good wealth and management of stress-free living advice. So today I'd like to welcome Michelle Jorno. She's the policy whisperer and insurance ninja. I've got Mary Gleason, who's retired young and living loud legend. I have Christine Johanson, who's the pivot pro and career powerhouse, and JoJo Tierney, who's regulation rock star and compliance queen. Welcome and welcome to our new episode today. So we're gonna just dive right in and we're gonna talk about in one sentence who you are now at being 50 something. Um I could tell you for me, I'm following my soul's purpose. I was on a total journey before and a way different journey, and now I've actually finally come into my own. I've got the confidence and I'm figuring things out along the way, and I feel empowered by it. Does anyone else want to share?

SPEAKER_04 2:05

I feel the same way. I feel now I feel more confident and experienced to be equipped to like tackle challenges today and like be a little more, you know, um, feel good about my decisions and where I'm going.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

Yeah, yeah. I think I totally agree.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Yeah, I'd like to add to that is where I I find myself more courageous. I'm willing to take risks and chances that in my earlier years I would have been like, oh I'm not doing that.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

I think because of the confidence.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Yes, because the experience, the confidence, and you just reach a point in your life like this is what I should be doing.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

Yeah, that's so incredible.

SPEAKER_05 2:38

I do think it goes back to knowing yourself really well, knowing what works for you, knowing what you want, and liking yourself. That's kind of the way I feel now.

SPEAKER_02 2:49

Wow, liking yourself. That's huge, you know. It takes a long time, I think, to really appreciate who you are. What about you, Michelle?

SPEAKER_01 2:58

I agree. Um, I think knowing yourself, the confidence. Um, I'm a badass now. And honestly, I couldn't have said that when I was 20 or even 30.

SPEAKER_02 3:09

Right, right. You know, that's and I just think that's so incredible and empowered. And, you know, along with having the self-confidence and and and liking yourself, I'm learning now in life that I need to do self-love rituals. I have to take care of myself, you know, whereas probably in my youth, I wasn't really taking care of myself. I was busy experimenting and probably getting into trouble. But now as I get older, I've taken on a whole new look. And I I definitely every month, as with you guys, which is one of my favorite things, is we get together and we do a self-care ritual. Whether it's just going out to dinner or going to a spa, what is um some one of yours uh self-love rituals that you'd like to share?

SPEAKER_04 3:54

Well, one of the things I do well now that I started like, you know, taking better care of myself is supplements and moisturizers. Those are the things that I do that are just like, you know, hey, that's what I need to do for myself to make myself feel good, look good, and just you know, um, that helps with the confidence, you know, that helps with, you know, aging well and you know doing what I have to do and facing the world every day. So I love that.

SPEAKER_05 4:15

Yeah, absolutely. I uh went through a period where I couldn't sleep. So nothing kicks a woman's butt like menopause, right? So my sleep ritual has become sacred. So it is a thing, I will admit, but it is necessary. I have my sleepy time tea, my melatonin, I spray lavender on my pillow, I do my facial care, um, and uh listen to my app that helps me sleep, and it's really helped me, and uh I wouldn't miss it. Even on vacation, I do this.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

That's great.

SPEAKER_02 4:52

That's so awesome, anyone else?

SPEAKER_01 4:54

I love that. Um I think that's something I'm working on. I've just started working on. I actually have an a journal, and I journal in the morning, how I feel, and at the end of the day, I write what I'm grateful for, what happened, the little gifts that I've been given, and then I write um and how I'm feeling at the end of the day. Um, and I honestly have been getting a lot more sleep because it's just part of that nighttime routine. It's awesome. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 5:23

How about you?

SPEAKER_00 5:23

I think that's great. You know, I don't have a particular ritual, but I do love spending time with my friends. I love hosting parties, which for me is like all the self-love I could possibly need because it's always the best people in my life, whether they're my friends or my family, and we're having a great time together, and it just brings so much joy to me.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

I I I agree. I I think as I get older, I I value the time with those that I love, whether they're friends or family, so much. I think it just I think it just fills my heart. It just fills my bucket, if you will. Yeah, couldn't agree.

SPEAKER_05 5:58

Mary's a great hostess.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

She does it stress-free, always with a smile. This is true. Oh my gosh. Well, I wanted to make the show a little bit about, you know, re-entering into the workforce, you know, talking about our careers and sometimes how you have to pivot or change or so, you know, thinking back um for me after I had kids, I um I needed to come back into the workforce, you know, after being gone for a few months. And at that time, coming back in, I was I was nervous because one, I wasn't 100% with my head in the game because I still had my head at home with the with the children. I had triplets at that time. And so they were babies, and it was just because I was in the stock market, it was it was really difficult. And I think for me, just coming in, I I it was exciting to get out of the house and get back into work, but it's also terrifying because I felt that I wasn't strong enough or didn't have enough of my head in the game to really be effective. And of course, a lot of that was in my head. I was smart, I kept up on the news, I knew what was going on, but it's just something that I dealt with and I and um and it plagued me for a little bit, but I did get through it. Does anyone else want to share something?

SPEAKER_00 7:14

Um I can totally relate to that. I remember going back after six months being home with my first child, and you question yourself, am I a good mom? Am I doing the right thing at a job? Should I be leaving? Why can't I make it? And then you watch all these videos of all these great people doing all these things at home, and I'm like, I need the work, like I need the fulfillment for myself to work and not just be a caretaker. And you find this great balance where you lean on other people. You do it takes a village.

SPEAKER_02 7:44

It does take a village. That's a great point, Mary.

SPEAKER_05 7:47

Yeah. Well, I'm on my third career now. Uh what you would call a worker bee. I'm kind of we're all the same, yeah, working bees. And I really um couldn't afford to stay home, but I also knew I didn't want to stay home. So for the couple of years that I did, my kids were very little. I went back to school and I started a new career after being in sales for so many years. Um and um when COVID hit, I was teaching for about 11 years at that point, and I just did not want to go back. And I was like, here I am, 51, 52 years old, looking to start a third career and re-enter sales, only this time it wasn't magazine advertising space, it was technology sales. So it was a big jump and it was really challenging, and ageism is real and it exists as we we've talked about. And um I just kept plugging away and plugging away until finally I got that one job, and then you can build upon that one opportunity. But it wasn't easy, but you know, it's gone.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

What about you, Cho Cho?

SPEAKER_04 8:56

Well, I just try and take my skills. I was never you know, I'm not a mom, so I was never out for that reason, but I just like um growing in my career and and pivoting it. I went from pharmaceutical work to medical device work to now the entertainment industry. Right. And you can really um adjust your skills and expand your skills as you try these different, you know, opportunities. And I just found it really fascinating and rewarding each different aspect I was in. So um I feel really fulfilled now. I mean, you know, I just have a lot of different experiences and um, you know, I just enjoy where I am now, and I I thought all the experiences are great.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

Yeah, I I'm kind of a jack of all trades. Yeah. So I've worked in um the event planning arena, but most recently and currently I'm in the insurance industry. And one of the things that I find most fulfilling is helping women my age to um know what your insurance is, pay attention, be aware. Um, I'll I'll do like a little round robin. Okay, let me look at your policy. I went on a girls' weekend and she's like, Oh, can you just look at this? She pulled her insurance up and went, Oh, yeah, okay. Well, you don't need that, and you do need this and this is that. So I find it fulfilling.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

That is that's so amazing. And I mean, we all bring stuff to the table. And I think back to when I was, you know, first starting my career in my 20s and how different it is now in our careers and and with the confidence that we've gained being 50 something. But you know, how did COVID impact your work life?

SPEAKER_00 10:30

You talked a little bit about it, but yeah, for COVID for me was pretty good because it kept me home. I used to travel an awful lot and it squashed my travel to zero. So I got a chance to spend time with my kids, and I was still doing really well because I was in sales. But I was the early transition to remote working, and it was really good for me, and our company changed their whole policy around it. So I found COVID to be great for work-wise, you know, life work balance. It was a little tough because you're home all the time with the kids remote learning and stuff. That was quite difficult. That was quite difficult, but it was a good experience overall.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:10

Yeah, I started working remote as well during COVID. And luckily I got to stay working remote in this day. I really enjoy it. But um, my my job has me working globally. So um when I was at the office, I was having international calls or Zooms or or teleconference zoom meetings, whatever. So it wasn't a big difference when I went home, you know, working from home. So um I enjoyed it. I think it's just you know, I get to sleep longer, I don't have to commute into the city, so it was a big thing. I mean, they did bring some people back, of course, you know, but um I was one of the lucky ones that, you know, and I'm I feel you know thankful that I got to, you know, continue working remotely, but um it was uh it was a nice transition. Um you know COVID was the worst, it was a horrible thing to happen, but you know, it was one of the brighter spots that came out of it.

SPEAKER_03 11:54

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

Yeah, the company I worked for, um they we were home for about four weeks, and then they wanted everyone to come back. Um, since then uh for the last three and a half years, I've been working at a firm that we're pretty much remote, um, 100%. We go in like once a month, and uh I just I'm so grateful for that. It has given that work-life balance. And um, I'm grateful for it.

SPEAKER_00 12:23

Yeah, something I could add to that too, is I worked in the financial space during COVID, and nobody worked remote in finance at all. And they all thought people wouldn't do their jobs, and I think they were amazed at how much people did more work being home than they did when they were in the office because they really felt they had all their time to them.

SPEAKER_05 12:44

Interesting, so interesting. Yeah, I'm remote also, and I don't know if I could ever go back into an office five days a week. Uh, being a teacher, you're punching that clock, you know, if you're five minutes late. So I I'm actually happier in my career now post-COVID than I've ever been because it's remote. I don't have to commute. I do travel sometimes. Um, but I never imagined I'd be happier and more satisfied with my third career in my 50s than I was with my first and my second career. So you you can um, you know, hit a stroke of good luck and actually improve uh your working circumstances.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

Yeah, you know, it's funny. I I I I that totally resonates with me because when COVID hit, I was actually taking a step back from my career because my mom was aging and then I have kids that were in high school and struggling, so I wanted to to be present, you know, at that time. And, you know, COVID kind of shut down the world around us and allowed us that that opportunity. Um, but you know, we didn't experience the fact where um, you know, a lot of people didn't have jobs anymore and uh their jobs shut down or or their careers um were no longer relevant because of COVID. And um, you know, they had to reimagine themselves or reinvent themselves. And and you know, Jojo, you alluded to this a little bit that if you're in a career and you're feeling stuck or you or your career, I don't know how AI is going to impact people going forward, but if your career is suddenly non-existent, how do you pivot? What what do you do if you feel or if you even if you feel stuck? How do you, you know, um adapt your resume or you know, your interview skills? You know, what what kind of tricks can you guys share?

SPEAKER_04 14:37

You have to stay relevant, you have to keep up on things. And you know, for me, I just you know keep taking either whether work offers it or you know your library offers it or app offers it, you know, staying on top of like you know, technology or you know, your craft, your your industry, even professional organizations that I I you know belong to. They give you um educational opportunities, they give you job opportunities. So there's a lot of things and cross-training. I suggest cross-training and getting yourself involved in projects across functions that can keep you relevant and on the radar and learning new things always. Just keep yourself relevant.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

Really good advice, really good advice.

SPEAKER_05 15:15

Yeah, I'm with you on that. I think you have to be uh up on technology, whatever technology is called for within your career space. Um, there's no excuse for that. Like, and so that when you do have the interview, you can talk the talk and walk the walk. I found that there was a lot of helpful information on YouTube. Um everything from how to interview, how to ask, uh, answer questions that you know are the top 50 interview questions that they're sure to ask and practice. I also took off uh dates on my resume, so you know you don't need to, I mean they're gonna find out how old you are, but you don't need to advertise that you're in your 50s. You don't need to know that right from the start. So you take off your college graduation date, things like that, and uh just keep improving your resume, keep improving your uh interview questions.

SPEAKER_02 16:07

That's great.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

Yeah, and to add to that, you can videotape yourself. So you take the YouTube content and you pose questions to yourself, and I would set up my computer, I would do it like they asked me a question, and then I would answer the question so then I could look back and see how I looked to the person that was interviewing me, and that helped so much because it just makes you very comfortable in answering questions.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

It's good at any age.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

Yeah, it is it's good at any age, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

Wow, I'm like Mary, that's great advice.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

I didn't even think about that. You just have to find a nice background, you know, you need to go back and forth. It was it's great because you can't believe what you look like sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

That's all that's true. I actually I research the person who I'm going to interview with.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

Great advice.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

And I will look them up. And so when I go, I'll ask, uh, how was your experience at you know, Villanova? And they're like, Oh, okay, you did your research. It always it just one little connection there, you know, help it actually is really cool.

SPEAKER_00 17:14

If you make it personal instead of work, it sticks with them. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

That's really good advice. Really, you guys are you guys are on it, man. Um, so let's let's talk a little bit about, you know, your mindset and uh as as you are on your journey and you're in your careers, you know, sometimes you feel stuck in your career or or something happens or or your just your way of life or the way you look at things makes you want to pivot your career. Um do you I guess was there a moment in your life which screamed out at you, it's it's time for me to move on. And if so, what was that moment like?

SPEAKER_04 17:56

Well, I had one experience when I was still in the medical device uh field where there was, you know, um some of the environment wasn't as you know um warm and fuzzy as you wanted. It was like, you know, um not it wasn't a hostile or something, but it was it was fine. I had a good experience. Most of the people there were nice with there was um a particular person who made things difficult for everybody. And yet this person was still there, but good people would leave. So it's just like, well, this isn't right. But um that was a you know point in my life where I'm just like, well, I'm not gonna tolerate this person like sabotaging things for myself or other people, you know, I'm gonna move on. And then you know, that's how I ended up into the entertainment um industry, but and it was a great thing. So like my husband and I joke around that this guy was like, you know, um the worst thing and the best thing that happened to my career because it was just so weird that sometimes people in your life like this can be an obstacle or you know, a thorn in your side, but they can motivate you to go somewhere else and do something else and be the catalyst. Yes, if he hadn't been a thorn on my side, I might not have been in the career which I really love now. So um that was you know just a weird turning point in my life. But you know, um, it's just you have to be, you know, um keep these things in mind when you're looking at things that happen to you in your life. Like, why is this happening to me, you know, and just maybe reevaluate it and then just pivot to make something good out of it.

SPEAKER_05 19:11

Really, really cool. I feel the same way when I was um a teacher. So I went back to get my master's, and the plan was I would be a teacher for the rest of my life and have a nice cushy retirement. And it just never worked out that way. It was when the two percent tax cap came in and they kept firing librarians, and I just kept being bounced around and bounced around, and I was headstrong and would not give up. And then finally, when COVID hit, I'm like, what am I doing? Like, this is the universe giving me signs here that like let's just pack it in. It's okay, it didn't work out. You got 11 years in, you have a small retirement, it's time for a change. And I'm so happy I did. I'm so happy I stopped trying to just make something fit that wasn't fitting.

SPEAKER_04 20:00

That's great, and it's hard to accept, but you realize that and recognize that, yeah, yeah, and accept it.

SPEAKER_00 20:05

Like you said, it's hard to accept. That's great.

SPEAKER_01 20:08

Yeah, yeah. It was that whole uh round peg and a square hole or something like that. That's what it felt like, it really did.

SPEAKER_05 20:16

I just got it was killing my spirit, and I was ready to just let it go. And you know, you have to be flexible and and willing to see, you know, this isn't really the best role for me. Maybe I'm not as good at this as I thought I might be, it's just not a good fit for me, and then start over.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

Yeah, I actually um during COVID I was at a job and it was crushing my spirit, and I honestly felt like I wasn't cut out for insurance anymore. And I interviewed with this super dynamic woman who is very much like girl power, and um she really reinforced the fact that I knew what I was talking about, I did know what I was talking about, even to this day. Shoot will say, like, you don't work there anymore, you work here and you know your stuff. So it's so cool.

unknown 21:12

I love it.

SPEAKER_02 21:13

And ha having that confidence, you know, yeah, confidence is key. It's uh it's great. So let me ask you, so when you started or pivoted your jobs, how did you negotiate, you know, your price, you know, of having decades of experience? I mean, we're not new coming into the field, you know. Do any of you have any tricks to that to uh to you know get your price, your you know, for salary talks?

SPEAKER_00 21:38

You know, so I am a huge great question. Yeah, because I'm a huge proponent of exposure and disclosure. Just tell people what you make and start talking about it makes it not such an uncomfortable conversation. Wow. So you find a peer and let you know some of your comforts and you be honest with them. Hey, you know, I make a hundred and seventy thousand, I'm looking at this job. Do you think that's gonna pay more? Do you know anything about and you have to talk about it? And people do not want to talk about their salaries.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

Isn't that funny?

SPEAKER_00 22:09

And it's not the people, it's the companies that don't want you talking about the salaries.

SPEAKER_02 22:13

Interesting. Yeah. See, that's funny because when I was in the business, when I was uh financial advisor, women were not really um a big part, it was mostly a man's business when I was there. And it was really interesting because when you negotiated your cut of commissions, because it was a commission-based business, I found that the men always got a couple of percentage points more than I did. And it used to drive me nuts. You know, it really did. And uh, you know, eventually I've learned to negotiate, you know, and and show my worth. But in the beginning, it was really, you know, it is a man's world incorporation, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

But we're making strides. We are, we're getting there.

SPEAKER_04 22:57

Absolutely. And one thing now, for at least for New York, New York has to list the salary ranges now. Yes. So that's required in any of these job postings. So that is a real game changer, too, because now you know what the range is and you know where you fit into the range. And you know, prior to that I used to have like, you know, almost like this expanded portion of my resume with all the justifications of why I can say how much I should make and why I should make that. You know, I like they give them their resume, but yours, you have all these stats and facts for yourself, like why you should be in that range or whatever. So, you know, and you have to do your homework if you're not in New York and they don't list it, you have to, you know, do a little homework and find out what the range is like, Mary. So you know, just to see what your worth is.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

Yeah, yeah, really good. Um, yeah, so you know, we talked a little bit about how technology plays a part in our relevance in today's world. Uh, is there a tech tool or an app that you learned uh to stay job market relevant that you want to share with the audience?

SPEAKER_00 23:53

So I can share that I I used to lean on LinkedIn a lot. Absolutely. And but LinkedIn has become like a tiny mini Facebook. Like it's other people promoting personal opinions, politics, I don't know, whatever they want. And I find it to be not as good as a career tool anymore. And if anybody has any advice on what they would use, I'd be really curious because LinkedIn is getting a little too but LinkedIn has a learning tool though.

SPEAKER_04 24:22

There is pay more.

SPEAKER_00 24:23

Yeah, I pay for I've paid for the premium subscriptions, but I find all the postings, like when you go to people that you know and the connections, there's a lot of shmush there that isn't part of business. And I don't think should really be there, should really be there.

SPEAKER_04 24:36

More professional. Yeah, more. They do have like, you know, uh Microsoft, Google, all kinds of tools like to learn how to use apps, absolutely. Career development, like speech, like you know, any kind of um marketing. I mean, they have all kinds of tools like that because there used to be something called lynda.com that I used to use, but that doesn't exist anymore. And LinkedIn actually bought it, and then uh my company started providing that to us. So stuff like that, but yeah, it is getting a little social media-ish.

SPEAKER_00 25:03

It I felt it, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:05

Interesting.

SPEAKER_05 25:06

Yeah, and sales, it's all about the CRM software. So that was a big obstacle for me because I didn't have experience with Salesforce. So something like you're saying, professional development, so at least you can fake your way through an interview to get the job and then learn it on the job. You know, we all have done that, right? Um, and right now, I mean, I think it's really important to be as familiar as you can with AI, and I've been using it more and more, and I'll tell you, it can write a terrific email. So if you say, you know, write me a succinct email that states these bullet points, and you give it the stats, you come out with a beautiful email. And I think that this is the way of the future. So it's time saving, right?

SPEAKER_02 25:46

Yeah, staying current. Really interesting. I'm fighting it. I am fighting it.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

You and me both, Michelle.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

I think the main reason why is because I receive those emails and I'm like, this is AI. This person didn't write this, this isn't even in their tone. And did they check it? And that I feel like, I mean, I'm a pretty good writer, so I'm just I'm not gonna go there. But um, I don't know, I feel like it's dumbing people down a little. I hate to say it.

SPEAKER_02 26:17

It's uh well that's funny that you say that because my kids, okay, they're in college and you know, they all use AI. And I one of my kids is doing an internship and their phones are not allowed where where they're he's doing his internship, and he had to write market reports. And so he's like, he realized on his own, he's like, I didn't think as clearly as I used to when I was, you know, in high school or college before AI, how my writing skills have actually suffered um because of it, you know. But it but it does like if you if you use it properly, if you write like let's say an email and then you run it through the AI and you have it, you know, make it embellished or whatever, you know, and then you re-edit it, I think that there's a place for AI. Maybe not, you know, to take away everything. But um, but yeah, you're right. And I I just I can't I can't deny that it does, you know, take away some of the skills that we have or had, you know.

SPEAKER_05 27:17

Oh, absolutely. But the thing is it's not going away. So if you don't embrace it, I feel like you're just left behind. Right. So where it's gonna be in 10 years, it's impossible to predict.

SPEAKER_04 27:30

Yeah, you need a balance. We have uh some guidelines even, you know, where I work, it's like you know, you can use the AI, but the author has to be you know in charge and has to make the final cut and you know authorize that being released the way it is. You can't just AI it and send it out. You have to take ownership and responsibility for what the AI produced, and then you have to edit it to make sure it's accurate.

SPEAKER_00 27:52

Oh, that's well, that's good. A little bit of a lot of things. Yeah, to add on to that, because there are cases where people are getting fleshed out where they had wrong information, or like especially in law, there's a lot of cases now where they're pushing back because there were uh laws that were referenced through the AI that weren't accurate, and people, yes. Yes, later on.

SPEAKER_01 28:15

Yes. We find that in insurance. We've been testing it out, asking insurance questions like about your umbrella or your excess insurance, and what's the difference? And like, hey, I got it wrong three times.

SPEAKER_02 28:28

Wow, wow, that's crazy. Oh my gosh. Well, I think we're gonna pivot now from jobs to money moves and you know, just your mindset with money. I mean, and this is kind of in my wheelhouse because this is what I did for years and years and years. But I'm curious, what was the smartest money decision that you ever made?

SPEAKER_00 28:49

Um I can say that it was contributing to my 401k when I first started working. As much as I could. I didn't have a lot, but as much as I could.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

Did you contribute enough where you were able to get matched by the company?

SPEAKER_00 29:02

I can show and it was a very dear friend of mine who turned me on to what he worked with me and he said, if you're not putting your money in, you're losing six percent because I had a six percent match.

SPEAKER_03 29:12

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 29:13

And I didn't realize that. I had no, like, I was like, really? I have like I can make money just by putting money in. And he's like, if you can put six percent in, they'll give you six percent. So I'm like, done deal. Yeah, and once you start doing it, it's hard because you have to learn to live without that extra six percent. Yes, but it stops being an issue and you just kind of get used to it. And it's it that's how I've been able to retire a little younger than I expected to, was because I started investing and saving a little earlier. That's just lucky, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 29:43

No, smart, really smart. Totally agree. Yeah, 401k is the way to go and leading it to the professionals or letting them guide you.

SPEAKER_02 29:51

Exactly. That's good. Yeah, a little tidbit about 401ks is um a lot of companies uh will allow you to borrow against your 401k for certain things. Like let's say, you know, uh first-time home purchase, or there was I I recall when my husband and I first got married, he had a 401k that had a little more money, and his company allowed him to borrow against it so we could use that money to help pay for our wedding. And it was it was really nice because even though you're borrowing from your future self, you're you're paying back that money to yourself. So it's it's kind of a neat way to utilize money that you're saving. So like nice tidbit.

SPEAKER_00 30:34

I've I've done that as well, so I know where you're coming from. Yeah, it's nice, and you pay back the money with interest, and the interest goes to you too. Right.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

So I was gonna say 401k too, but um I feel like it's been very beneficial to have an accountant prepare our taxes and just to have someone else put an eye on it. My husband's an attorney, you know, so there's just a lot of things that you m we might not think of, um, not being financially savvy.

SPEAKER_05 31:05

One thing that helped me when my husband passed is that he had life insurance. So that was kind of a game changer, and I used it just to pay down all of our debt so that our cost of living is as low as possible. So, you know, we're at the age where our parents are passing or aunts and uncles, and you might get a small inheritance here and there, and I think it just makes sense to really pay down your debt.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

Smart. That is one of the biggest things that are life-changing because you don't realize when you carry debt, whether it's credit card or loans or or um, you know, car loans, mortgages, you know, you're paying so much more in the long run over the term of the loan, over the term of the credit cards. And it, you know, if as a young person, I got into credit card debt when I first got out of college because I was putting myself through school, I was working all these jobs, and I would use the credit cards to help me do it. But what I I failed to realize is that as I was paying only the minimum payment to pay it off, the interest was just it was compounding over and over again. And it actually took it took more much more money and much more time for me to pay those credit cards off. And eventually I was able to. I I had a system where I would take one of my credit cards and I would pay as much money on that one as I could every month, whereas the other ones I would let go until that one was paid off. And then I would choose another credit card and I would put as much money down on that one and do the minimum on the remainders until every credit card I had was I'm with you. I went through that same thing.

SPEAKER_05 32:48

And I remember clear as day, the day I realized I was finally in the black and no longer in the red. Oh my god. Probably by like 200 bucks, but hey. It doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_00 33:01

You're up ahead. That counts.

SPEAKER_02 33:03

It's yeah, it's it's big, you know, it really is. Um biggest investing myth, you had to unlearn anything.

SPEAKER_04 33:13

You can't leave things on autopilot.

SPEAKER_00 33:15

Yes. Oh, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_04 33:17

Yeah, you can't. You have to be engaged and participate, even if it's with a professional because I said I don't know any better, but um engaging with someone, but yeah, I had things on autopilot for a while and just neglecting it, and that wasn't the right thing to do. It wasn't growing. No, yeah, it was just stagnating. I mean, it was still doing stuff, but yeah, it could have been doing a lot better.

SPEAKER_00 33:36

Really smart. And some with inheritance money you mentioned, you know, inheritance. You sometimes you get the inheritance money, you don't know what to do with it. And it kind of sits and it just earns its little trickle of interest in the bank. And it's what do I do with it? Do I invest with it? If I don't have a lot of debt, do I save it towards college or do I put it into my own retirement? You know, my IRA or Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 33:59

And as we get over 50, you're allowed to put a little kicker into your IRA to help you accelerate your savings for as we get older, too. Um, they have a uh uh $7,500 cash, uh catch-up provision for those that are over $50 for a um a 401k. And uh there's there's actually, you know, one of the best things you can do is to keep funding those plants because they grow um tax-free, you know, or tax deferred, I should say, until you start to pull the money out, you know. Um really great, great things to do.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

And I can add that one of the best pieces of advice that Serena gave to my son was to start a 403B.

SPEAKER_02 34:41

No, uh uh a Roth IRA.

SPEAKER_00 34:43

Roth IRA, thank you. Right. Close, close, yeah, Roth IRA at 21. Yeah, and he did it and he puts in money every week. Smart. He's putting in money into that account. Wow, yes, and I am amazed.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

Yes, yes. Well, it's funny because I all of our friends who have children, I've when the children started working, even at 16 or 17, I say, whatever money you earn, put it into a Roth IRA because if you don't need it now, but this will help you for your future. And one of our friends, uh Eileen and John, their daughter came up to me on her wedding day and thanked me because of her saving in her Roth IRA uh all from college, and um as she got older and wanted to buy her first-time house, she was able to pull out all the money that she had contributed to this Roth IRA to use as a down payment, and that's how they bought their first house. So kind of cool, yeah. And there are there's a lot of tricks, you know, and and don't be afraid to ask questions. I can't tell you the amount of times where you know, I'd have uh an elderly woman come into my office, her husband just passed away, she never knew where the money was or how to even write a check. She didn't know who the banker was, and just starting from that is daunting, especially when you're older. So if there are classes or if your bank offers um uh a little, you know, round table or a dinner where you can learn about your finances, go take it up because at some point or another you're gonna be responsible for your finances.

SPEAKER_05 36:15

Well, yes, as a recent widow, um, you know, my husband and I were together for 28 years and he had done all the billing just because I didn't like it and I didn't like to deal with it. So I was one of those little old ladies who didn't know the account. Young young, beautiful ladies' passwords, I didn't know our homeowner's insurance, and it was willful ignorance. I did it to myself and I I had to pay the price just to catch up. It took me months to climb out of that.

SPEAKER_03 36:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:44

So I would recommend to any woman know your accounts, know your homeowner's insurance, know your, you know, um, if you have triple A or not, you know, keep there should be a file, yes, a notebook, a file where you list all the account numbers, you know, the passwords, wherever. I mean, you have to keep that in the safe because in case you get robbed, but you know, where you can, you know, if something happens, it's true. Yeah. You know. Um, so let's uh for for listeners who've paused their careers, um, and maybe they had to drain their retirement plans. Does does anybody have um step one on what they should do to rebuild their retirement savings or how to you know start start building that nest egg again?

SPEAKER_05 37:33

Yikes. Great profession.

SPEAKER_02 37:38

All right, so this is where I can come into the picture here. So one of the great tricks that I learned through my um career is whenever you have a salary, okay, you should break down that salary where 50% of it goes to your needs, meaning your rent or your mortgage, your food, all of the things that you need to live on. Um, 30% should go to your wants. So your wants would be, you know, the extra uh clothing or your wardrobe or going out to dinner once a week, or you know, maybe um towards a vacation. Travel baby. Exactly. And then the last 20% should go to future you or an emergency fund. So if you're ever in a covert environment or somehow you lose your job, you know, it happens, it happens to all of us, um, that you have a nest egg that you can fall back on, um, which is, you know, really, and just to give you like a little more, so 50% rent, mortgage, utilities, groceries, insurance premiums, all your required minimum debt payments, that's where that goes. 30% dining out, streaming services, travel, hobbies, gym, all your non-essential stuff that you want to do. And then 20%, like I said, your emergency fund, retirement accounts, 401k, you know, paying down extra on those credit cards. And don't forget about college funds, especially if you have children. Because let me tell you, those 529 plans that pay for college for these kids are a game changer. Because that money, if you start saving for your children when they're born, or have people instead of buying you, you know, gifts that you're not gonna use or whatever, have them contribute to a 529 plan for your child. Um, and you can keep it in your name. So if you have one child that's brilliant and gets a scholarship, it can go off to the second child, and that money uh just grows and grows and grows tax-free in a lot of cases, as long as you use it for higher education purposes.

SPEAKER_00 39:46

So um, I agree, they're great plans. And New York has a fantastic 529. They were really they're fine. And no, you don't even lit need to live in New York to participate in it.

SPEAKER_05 39:58

I might just add that um, you know, the cost of living with rents is so high now that if it's possible to invest in real estate, even if you bought a two-family or a three-family house and you lived in one of the apartments, so that this way your um income is supplemented and you're not just paying rent. Um you know, that's how we got started with our first uh investment and it worked out really well for us.

SPEAKER_02 40:23

That's that's really that was gonna be my next question. It's like, okay, index funds, rental real estate, or entrepreneurship? It's gonna tell you to pick one and tell me why. And we already know.

SPEAKER_00 40:38

I think real estate investing is the way to go. I think it matures, especially in this area, and which usually matures very well, requires some upkeep, but you do need capital to get into it. And that's hard. Where do you defer that capital that you need in other areas for your future self?

SPEAKER_03 40:55

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 40:57

I was always planning on the lottery. Still waiting, right? Still waiting. I still scratch them off. But yeah, I think Sean's he's been watching, my husband's watching uh the more investment channels and you know, looking, you know, paying more attention to our investments now and just trying to keep up on that. But uh yeah, it's hard to, you know, uh make up lost time.

SPEAKER_02 41:16

It is, it is. But but the government does uh you know, our our tax laws right now do help us people that are over 50, you know, amplify your savings by giving you those little boosts, and you should, if you can, take advantage of that. Now, I know you had a fabulous idea about saving money and you use it for yourself. I do. Yeah. You had told me about it.

SPEAKER_01 41:40

It was a five dollars a day, baby. I just put I slide five dollars a day into and then at the end of the year. Okay, I'm not a mathematician, I'm sorry, but it's like over a thousand dollars. Yes, you can take yourself on a I do a self-care weekend, and I'll usually go away somewhere. And um, it's just like a little, but think about it, in five years, that'd be a nice little nest egg.

SPEAKER_02 42:07

So well, that's the thing. I mean, and when I was a kid, we used to do these Christmas clubs. My mother used to have me put my Christmas clubs and you put money in every week, and at the end of the year you'd have enough money to buy presents. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:21

And lay away. Remember lay away. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 42:24

These are all you know, things that you can do to help you, you know. You know, it's really important to budget yourself and not to overextend yourself. And I can't stress how important it is to live within your means, because by doing that, you can end up like Mary and being able to retire early, you know, and and and not be so stressed out on where your next paycheck is coming from. And it it took me a long time to learn that. But once you do, it's you breathe easier, you know. You have you have the wherewithal where you can um you know, okay, if I want to do that splurge, you know, I can.

SPEAKER_05 43:02

Yeah, I think going out to dinner and buying food out is one of the biggest wasters. And I see my kids do it. A lot of young people did it, and I did it when I was young. But really, if you just pull back on that area, you can make a difference in how much you can save.

SPEAKER_02 43:18

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:19

But working remote is great. I just have my breakfast, lunch, dinner at home. It's rare that I will eat out.

SPEAKER_04 43:27

I mean, on the weekends with my husband, but even the commuting cost, you save saving on the food and the commute. It's just, you know, parking, everything like that. It it all adds up and helps.

SPEAKER_02 43:38

Well, that's true. You know, I didn't even think about that. All the commuting, I mean, the train into New York City and everything. Yeah. Yeah. It makes a difference. So to me, that's you know, wow, not just time, but money, yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 43:51

So my oldest my son has a interesting comment to his siblings where he says, Don't spend any of your money, spend mom and dad's money. So that's another way you could say.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

Yes. Oh, that's funny. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 44:11

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 44:11

So let me ask you some fun questions here. Well, actually, before I do, let me wrap up this little segment with some fun facts just to anchor the chat. So starting in 2025, those 50 plus can defer up to $23,500 into a 401k plus a $7,500 catch-up for a total of $31,000 a year. So for those people who have not saved or have not been taking advantage of that, you can do that. Now I will add on to this that this came from ChatGPT. So double check it with your accountant before going ahead and adding all that money. But for 2024, uh the total contributions you can make each year to all of your traditional IRAs, Roth IRAs, can't be more than $7,000 or $8,000 if you're 50 or older. Same disclaimer. And, you know, it's all based on taxable comp compensation. If you're not earning any money, then you really can't contribute any money. So you get out there and, you know, do a couple jobs, at least, you know, if you're a young person, just enough so that you can contribute to that Roth IRA that can really set you up for a fabulous future. Um so at this point, I'd like to do some rapid-fire self-love segment here. And one word that you tattoo on your heart today. Blessed. Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 45:39

Hope. I always have hope. You know, it's hard in the wild world we live in, but I just hope in the greater good.

SPEAKER_02 45:50

I think for me it would be just let my light shine. I know it's not one word, but I just like the inner light.

SPEAKER_00 45:57

Family. They're my friends and my family.

SPEAKER_05 46:00

Oh, I love that. Oh, Christine. Well, mine would be two words too. Let them, let them finally get there, finally realizing who cares. Let them think what they want to think, let them paint me out to be whoever they want to paint me out to be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:15

Let them. And let them see me shine, you know, and and really that's that's it. And how about a guilt-free splurge that fuels pure joy for you?

SPEAKER_00 46:26

Spa weekends.

SPEAKER_03 46:30

I think we're wrong. Did I say shoes?

SPEAKER_02 46:36

Yeah. One thing I could buy where it doesn't matter what size I am, my shoes always fit. Travel abroad. Travel. I love that. That is that's awesome. How about uh a book maybe that flipped your you just your mindset in in life? Is there a book that's changed you or a book that you just love to read that you recommend to everyone?

SPEAKER_04 47:06

I'm a big fan of Greg Gutfeld. I mean, any of his books, like, you know, how to be right, you know, um uh not cool and the plus. It's just I love his snarky humor, and he's he's go so insightful, and he's got a lot of you know fun, um, cool things. Say his name again.

SPEAKER_05 47:19

I don't think I know it. Greg Gutfeld? Greg Gutfeld. Yeah, you'll have to air that to the chat. Tell us your favorite uh book or two by him.

SPEAKER_04 47:26

He's yeah, he's very funny, very snarky. He has a lot of political satire too. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:32

Oh, that's so fun.

SPEAKER_01 47:34

How about you?

SPEAKER_02 47:34

The Bible.

SPEAKER_01 47:37

I have been deep diving into scripture. Um I've just finished ministry school, so um I've learned so much, and it's just my um faith has gotten deeper, and that equals happiness. Yeah, thank you. Mayor, any books?

SPEAKER_05 47:55

No?

SPEAKER_00 47:56

I don't.

SPEAKER_05 47:57

One that I would recommend is the four agreements. If it's short and it's um it's read globally, uh it's been out probably for 20 years or what have you, but it's um four agreements and it's kind of like a policy for living. So like always do your best to be impeccable with your word. Um blanking out on the other two of them. Um that's one that really uh made a difference in my life. And uh I especially the be impeccable with your word, like be careful with your words, what you say, how you say it, only say what you mean. Um, you know, you could you can't take back an insult, things like that. True. That's very true.

SPEAKER_02 48:37

I think one book that was life-changing for me. It's crazy. It's it's a um an illustrated book. It's like a picture book, and it's a kids' book, and it's uh it's called The Boy, the Mole, The Fox and the Horse. And it's by uh the last name is Maxie. And it is just it's so simple, but it's so heartfelt, and it talks about kindness. And one quote in the book is uh the mole asks the boy, What do you want to greet of what do you want to be when you grow up? And the boy responds, kind. And I just perfect, uh kind. Yeah, just a little kindness would go so far. And uh, you know, you guys have been part of my life and my circle, and you are like my team of people, and I just want to thank each of you for being here today. And usually I close each segment with a poem from my son, and today's poem is called Unique, and it says, I gotta put my glasses on because I can't read it. You can zoom back and make it bigger. See, I knew the technical glasses there. Uh everybody is different. No one is the same. Then why do I treat people blame? I don't take the time to listen to them complain. I just pretend I understand their pain. I don't talk, I just take charge, assume, no place for them to walk. I thought I treated everyone differently, especially those who I loved, but I rise no one above. I keep those I know behind a gate. The gate I can't escape, the gate I can't shake, the gate that can't let me be my own shape. I asked myself, when was the last time you were true and didn't move so fast? I tell myself to slow down, keep your head down, I cover myself in confidence so others won't see the true me. I showered myself in all these pickup lines and lies. I don't even know if the real me is still alive. Wow. You know so deep. And you know, and you can relate to it even, you know, at any age. I mean, he was 15 when he wrote this, but you know, a lot of times we do, we we forget what's important and we forget who matters to us in our lives. And um I just I I again I'm just so grateful and feel so blessed that I'm able to share this with all of you. Yeah, and um again to our audience, these stories are personal journeys. Um, there's no individual financial advice given here. Always talk with your accountant or your financial professional, get make sure you're up to the latest and greatest on the tax laws. Um I want to thank you, all of you, for being here today. Um, the Self-Love Club is really special to me. We always go out and we enjoy each other. Once a month, we make sure that we keep taking care of each other and ourselves. Cheers, Linda. Cheers and cheers to our listeners.

SPEAKER_03 51:55

Thank you. Thank you so much.