Ep. 014 | Men’s Mental Health & Healing with Yoga

In this powerful and necessary episode of Stories of Survivors, host Serina Dansker opens a courageous space to explore a subject too often left in silence: men’s mental health.

Joined by special guest Mike Cawley—a devoted yogi, meditation instructor, and quiet pillar of healing—this episode invites listeners into an honest, grounded, and deeply human conversation about the emotional journeys men face behind closed doors.

With wisdom rooted in mindfulness and lived experience, Mike shares the transformative power of stillness, presence, and vulnerability. Together, Serina and Mike honor emotional truth, and offer tools for self-connection and inner peace.

To learn more about Serina Dansker, purchase her book S.O.S.: A Lesson on Love, Loss, & Survival, book her for a public speaking engagement, and discover more stories of hope, healing, and resilience, visit www.serinadansker.com.

S.O.S. Stories of Survivors — Where Survival Sparks the Soul.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Hello, welcome back to SOS Stories of Survivors. I'm your host, Serena Dansker, and today it is my absolute pleasure and honor to welcome my yogi, my guiding light mentor, meditational guru, Mike Cauley. Welcome, Mike.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Namaste. Thanks for having me, Serena. It's so nice to be here.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Oh my gosh. Well, today, this month, June, is men's mental health month. And I thought, what better way than to shed light on to ways that we can help ourselves heal and grow as people? And I don't know if you know this, but back um during COVID, I was stumbling through the local gym here and found one of your yoga classes going on. And I was so intrigued by it because there were all these people and there was like no room. It was sold out, but there was like it was meant to be because I got in on off the wait list and I walk in there, and I have to tell you, through your meditational practice, through taking that class, you set me on a path toward healing. And I'm forever grateful for that. And I'm sure you've done it for so many people and aren't even aware of that. And I just I would love for you to share with our audience today just all about you, and so we can learn where you come from. And and before we get started, though, I'd like to just tell our audience that if any moment during our conversation today, you're feeling tender or you're feeling just mentally you need to talk to someone in the US, you can always dial 988. It's a hotline, and you are not alone. There's people there that can support you. Um, please take advantage of that. And before we start, I just want to take a big deep breath in and then exhale. All right, let's get started. So, Mike, tell me a little bit about yourself. Take me back to the moment where you found yoga, what was going on in your life?

SPEAKER_01 2:43

So I was uh I was in construction. I was a framer by trade, and uh I had an accident. I was going in to a uh second floor level to uh do some framing on a new addition in a bathroom and coming out of the roof back onto the ladder. The ladder kicked out. I fell about 17 feet.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

I had uh a compression fracture on my L1 vertebrae. Um, I spent uh, you know, probably I can't remember what it was because it was going, that's 20 years ago now. I spent like three months or so, four months uh wearing one of those back braces and doing all that. And then somewhere along the line, I know who I was, my mom recommended yoga as uh physical therapy to come back.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

So that's that's how I started. And I started by taking a class at New York Sports Club in Somers, New York. And I, you know, I had the same experience that everyone that takes their first class does. I thankfully was a really, really good teacher. And I went into the class and the same thing, full yoga class. Uh, I had zero idea what yoga was, and you know, people are doing like wheel poses and big back bends and forearm stands and headstands. Um, but she was a good instructor, and there was something about it I liked. So I was like, all right, there's something here. I went back another time, um, and it was just as good of an experience. And then the third time I went back, it was a different instructor, uh, and I never went back. And so I took those two initial classes, but I started like shopping around the northern Westchester area for uh different studios and kind of poking my head in places, and that's really how I got my feet wet in this yoga world, yeah. With a couple of classes just looking around, and then slowly from there it progressed to you know going down to New York City for classes, finding better and better instructors.

SPEAKER_02 4:53

Wow. Wow. Now, was there a specific moment where you realized that yoga was becoming more than just a workout or a rehabilitation for you, that it was helping you um more emotionally?

SPEAKER_01 5:05

You know, it was a gradual process. It wasn't until I started doing my first teacher training that I had one of those moments. Again, I I was I was just talking about this earlier that you know, like pre- uh whatever that was, like 30 years old. I was still always before yoga, because I broke my back at 30, I was always still stumbling around. I knew there was something else out there. I just didn't know how to access it. You know, so I was like in a dark room looking for something, but I didn't know what it was. And so yoga star I started taking those first classes at New York Sports Club, and I started practicing, practicing, practicing, and I, you know, it was a general evolving, and then I did my first training. And I remember that I took my first Yoga Nidra class with Yogi Chiru. And for those that don't know, Yoga Nidra is different than meditation. You know, the easiest way to understand it, it's a guided meditation, um, where the body goes into deeper, the body and mind go into deeper and deeper and deeper states of relaxation. And so I remember taking that first Yoga Nidra class, and I left and I had this like profound understanding of what true relaxation was. And then at that point, I was like, okay, there's way more than just posture practice. There's, you know, there's there's a whole nother world of yoga for me to explore. And then at that point, then that opened up the rabbit hole.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

That that's similar. Once I I had done yoga before, of course, your class, and um, I had some great yoga instructions, but nobody ever took me through a guided meditation like you did. And that opened up, that opened up my healing journey. I mean, it really blew my mind, you know, how powerful it was. Um, and I forever am grateful for that. Now, I know that you, you know, you speak in the in our last yoga class, and I'm just gonna go out there, you you said something that I keep sitting with. Well you had asked if anyone in the class had a question. And of course, nobody said I have a question.

SPEAKER_01 7:28

No, I have they all have questions. Every single one of them, we all have the same questions, just you know, you put the spotlight on someone.

SPEAKER_02 7:37

But you said, you know what, I'm gonna ask you all a question. And I and the question you had asked us was, Who are you really? And beyond me, Serena Dansker, but more than that, who was I a hundred years before? Who will I be a hundred years from now? And I sit with that and I think about that. And I and I think a lot of times, like my short answer to that is I'm light and I'm love and I come from God and I come from the universe. But I think it's more than that. And I and I just, you know, I just want to get your thoughts about that a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

I think by asking questions like that, we start pulling ourselves off the material platform. Right. So, you know, most of the time, even you know, I'm you know, I still I meditate daily and I practice daily. A lot of the times you're on that material platform, you know, of uh action and reaction. But by asking questions like that, you start to move up to that spiritual platform where, like you just said, I've been thinking about it, and all of a sudden your mindset starts to change.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

Yeah. You know, it's it's amazing. And you know, when you talk about mindsets, and you know, it is men's mental health month. And you know, what is it like to be a man in today's world? You know, I know um you guys, you know, as a woman, we're allowed to show our emotions, and you know, there's a lot of things going on, but but for men, there's a lot more struggle. I mean, men's suicide rate is a lot higher than it than it used to be. And and um I I I know you're not a science, you know, for suicide or any of that stuff, but can you just talk about being a man and and what it's been like today?

SPEAKER_01 9:25

You know what? I I I think that again, uh, the journey of yoga has helped me do one major thing, and that as far as masculinity goes, and that is enable myself to pull off that mask. Because I do feel whether they know it or not, so many men wear this mask, and then it just becomes heavier and heavier and heavier for them. And you know, that mask of I've got to be the most powerful, I've got to be the most macho, uh, you know, and the list goes on and on and on. But realistically, behind that, there's something much better, and it's just so hard for most people, and even myself, a lot of times, to take that mask and pull it off.

SPEAKER_02 10:13

It's um, yeah, it's it's I find that yoga allows you in a lot of ways to express emotions or emotions come out whether you want to or not, depending on the poses you do.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Have you ever noticed that happening with uh I notice it with it happens with the poses too, because that you know, it all started there with me. And then through the through posture practice and opening yourself up through meditation, you're you're enabling yourself to be like, okay, wait a second, my what I thought made me a man really doesn't make me a man at all. And so that mask comes off, but then behind that's another mask, and then you're like, okay, while you keep practicing, you know, you start having lifestyle changes, and then you're like, okay, well, that doesn't make me a man. Let me take that mask off. And and by taking those masks off, right, it it it it lightens up, at least for me, it lightens up the heart and it allows me to live a much, much, much fuller life instead of this covered up one direction goes type of life.

SPEAKER_02 11:20

It's amazing. I I totally can relate to that. I mean, I think I've heard from you and and I've heard it said that sometimes your mind can be your worst enemy, and other times, right? It could be your best friend.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Yeah, at three in the morning when you can't stop thinking about that meeting with you have with your boss in two days, you know, and your mind can it can be quite chaotic in there.

SPEAKER_02 11:45

You know, um, what do you think yoga offers men who are struggling with anxiety or depression, um or just the pressure to always keep it together? You know, I know taking off the masks, but um what it would I think it offers space.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

I think it offers you a moment, whether you realize it or not. Like, like I said, when I first stumbled into that class in New York Sports Club, I the this sort of realization was miles and miles away for me. But it gives you space between your thoughts and between your emotions, which in today's world is almost it's impossible to get with the cell cell phones and you know television and constant bombardment of the senses. So it gives you because look what one of the there's only two rules I give in those classes, right? Nice and slow with those poses and turn your cell phone off.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

And it gives you a moment of space between those thoughts and emotions, which is it is so valuable because it just it breaks that cycle of anxiety, it breaks that cycle of who we think we really are, you know.

SPEAKER_02 12:59

It's uh yeah, I I find it's just a moment where you can actually just not think, you know, it's yeah, and clear the thoughts out. Yeah, the mind just keeps twirling and twirling and twirling. It's like for a moment, just focusing on that breath work uh really does help. That's what I'm learning. And for guys who think yoga is just stretching, um, how do you reframe it as something deeper, something that can calm the storm inside?

SPEAKER_01 13:22

You know, again, I I I'm pushing yoga 24-7.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

But for me, uh the main things for the practice are the beginning and the end.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

Right?

SPEAKER_01 13:34

So that meditation in the beginning we do and the breath work we do, shavasana at the end, where you clear the mind out, those are the most important things. You know, if a guy tries yoga and he doesn't like it, I would still push him to do some sort of physical fitness because within physical fitness, you're still gonna have you're still gonna get a lot of the same results you do in yoga. But that's it, right? So if you're like, okay, well, I'm into weights, that's great. There's been studies that have been done recently, and I tell this to a lot of guys, that I forget the exact number, but it's huge. It's like stretching alone reduces the mortality rate by like 20%.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

Weightlifting, and I think it's even higher, but I in case someone listens to this in life is like, Mike's totally wrong. It's up there. Weightlifting was at like 15% in reduction. So, and and I forget, I and you would think like cardiovascular is up there, but it's it's actually stretching is healthier. The yoga stretching alone, not even bringing in yoga, is healthier for the body, even more than running and uh cardiovascular work studies have shown because you're not just stretching muscles, you're opening up veins, you're opening up arteries, you're opening up the nervous system, you're redu in front, you're reducing the cortisol and the harmful stress hormones that cause hypertension. So, again, you like fitness. I mean, I'm a big fitness person. Find a workout that works for you, combine it with meditation, but realize that yoga has some incredibly, incredibly powerful effects on, and it's great for weightlifters to combine that with their weight routine, because then you're gonna get that weight routine or kettlebell routine, you're gonna get that, you're also gonna get that stretching and that opening.

SPEAKER_02 15:39

I and as I get older, I realize that that stretching is so important. I mean, I do play tennis, and when I just do the tennis and I don't incorporate yoga with it, I'm a mess. Like everything is so tight, and the the hamstrings and everything else, I I go back to yoga and it I feel so much better.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

It's it's and what about the vascular system that we're not even aware of, right? So then we're thinking about what's even deeper within there, you know, what what else are we opening up with those poses? Remember, we're also like this enclosed bottle of water, right? And so when you're when you want to, I always think about this. When we want to clean that bottle, right? That's our you know, our uh canteen, you know, you move it back and forth and it moves those fluids around and cleans the water bottle, the body's the same way. You're you're folding forward, you're coming back up. Everything is moving around. We're kind of getting this internal cleanse, but and that's beyond just the stretching of the muscles.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

That's that's amazing. And and you know, have you ever, you know, you teach, you've been teaching forever. Have you ever seen like one of your students where you've actually seen the transition from week to week for their healing or just their, you know?

SPEAKER_01 16:50

It's it's it it's it's for me too, because I've gone through that. It's as long as you stay with the practice, and you might start off really slow and you can only do a few poses, and you know, you feel overwhelmed in the beginning, that all changes with time. It's just a practice, right? You'll get stronger, you learn the poses, you learn the sequencing. And by doing that and spending, you know, dedicating like twice a week or three days a week to a yoga practice, you're gonna start to get more and more space made in your life. You're gonna start to realize um that life is up and downs. That there's no steady line in life. No one I know, I guarantee you, if Jeff Bezos was on this program with us, outwardly he would project this image of no problems at all. But behind the scenes, he has the same exact problems that every man. And I've so I've seen that people come into that practice no matter what the issue is, and over time I've seen that transformation where they're able to become stronger, not only physically, stronger mentally. And it's great. Sometimes it takes someone three months, sometimes it takes someone 10 years, but they do go through that change eventually of healing.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

That's yeah, it's it's it must be just so fulfilling to see your students do that, as well as yourself, you know, the growth it is overwhelming.

SPEAKER_01 18:19

So a lot of the times I you know what I tell students too is it's not really me. All I'm doing is, and this is the truth of the truths, I'm just lighting a candle and that enables you to see a path. Right. I that's all I do. I light a candle, you see the path. I don't do the work for you, right? A student has to do the work themselves and keep coming back and keep coming back and keep coming back. But through that, right, you start move, and and just like we were saying just before, by asking that question of who am I really and sitting with that all week, that one thing can take just someone that's having a crappy week and move them up a little. And just one level up is amazing. Then you come back the next week and you get a couple different poses down, then you come back the next week, and then that transformation really starts to happen.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

It's it's amazing, and I I feel it, and I I do miss it when I when I can't do it or I can't get there. It's it's you know, I believe that you know it helps me calm my mind and make my mind a better friend to me, or me a better friend to my mind. I don't know which way to say it.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

So understand the nature of our mind. Yeah, that there are there is no there is no straight line in this life. Like I said, Jeff Bezos is on this program. Outwardly, he's showing one thing. I guarantee I know for a hundred percent fact he still has mentally up and downs. And yoga gives us the ability to notice that those up and downs are a perfectly natural format in life and allows us to move through them steadier.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

Yeah, it's it's amazing. We you talk a lot about breath work, and I remember, you know, there'll be classes, mostly you start off each class where we do breath work where we're we're cleansing our insides, our livers, our spleens, our our our organs. Talk a little bit about the breath work and and how that works, how you kind of clean the body or calm the body from the inside out as well.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

So there's gonna be pranayam or breathing techniques or what the yogis use for different effects, right? So I'm gonna be able to stir the energy up to get people more energetic and get people ready for posture practice right by stimulating the organs, aerating the lungs. But in the same sense, I could start off, I wouldn't do that in the morning classes, but I could start off a morning class with a much, much calmer breathing technique that's going to trigger our parasympathetic nervous system and start to set in that calming set to the mind. So it's just it just depends on it's time, place, and circumstance for different breathing techniques. You know, that that's really what I use is uh I see who's in the room and what needs to be done, you know, whether they need a more energetic breathing technique. Me personally, when I practice at home on my own, I'm usually doing uh, I usually have a set practice, you know, I do um like Kalalapati, I do Kumbak breath retention just to get my body energized. I I've been lately I've been doing opposite nostril breathing, and then uh then I'll come up, like I said, like we do. Then I'll do the stomach cleanse cleanses, a voodoy and the band to start purifying the organs. And that really does prepare me for a practice. That's just me personally, what I do at home.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

And and and how does that the the breath work? What goes on in the body when you slow your breath down and when you when you do those things?

SPEAKER_01 21:53

Chemically, cortisol levels are dropping. The stress hormones are dropping. That that that that's a known fact, right? Right. So we're dropping those levels of the stress hormones that wreak havoc on our body.

SPEAKER_02 22:06

Yeah, yeah. That's for sure. Um, could you lead us through a simple breath practice? Maybe, you know, so our listeners could do with us right now. You know?

SPEAKER_01 22:18

So what I'll do is I'll show you a quick breath practice that I use pretty much every class I teach. I do this during Shavatsan. This can what's nice about what I'll show is not only can you use this as kind of the jump-off point for a meditation anywhere, anytime, I also use this for when I have trouble sleeping at night.

SPEAKER_00 22:41

Right?

SPEAKER_01 22:41

So there's not one of us out there that doesn't have a problem sleeping once in a while. So what we'll do here is we'll do 15 to 1. So we'll set ourselves in for just a second, and then we're just gonna do something really simple, and I'll lead you through it. We're gonna count backwards from 15 to 1. When I have trouble sleeping at night, I count backwards 54 to one.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

What is four?

SPEAKER_01 23:08

It's because it's the highest Vedic number. So in Vedic numerology, we add so what happens with numbers a lot of times, we add them up. So five and four is nine, and nine is the highest number in Vedic numerology. So I start with the number nine with that. 108, you might see that a lot of times in the yoga world. 108 is just the uh there's different lineages will say different things about this. The way I was trained is that 108 is the highest number in Vedic numerology because it's eight and one adds up to nine. Nine is the highest number out there, right? You can't get higher than nine. You can add do all these other number combinations, but eventually all those numbers, if you shrink them down, are nine.

SPEAKER_02 23:53

Just to give you a quick little learning something.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

This is crazy. Um, so what we'll do is we'll do 15 to 1. But oh, so what I do when I'm sleeping or having trouble sleeping is I do 54 to 1, right? So I go, and you'll see this in just a second. I go 54 abdomen up, 54 abdomen down, 53 abdomen up, 53 abdomen down. And usually what happens is I get to I don't know, 36 and I lose count. I start over again, get to 32, lose count, and then a lot of the times I just conk out and go back to sleep.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

That's amazing. So let's try, let's just try 15 to 1.

SPEAKER_02 24:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

Okay. So all we're gonna do, no matter where you are, where you're listening, you're gonna come into a comfortable seat, whatever that means for you. The main thing for me is just the back is nice and straight. Place the hands on the lap or the knees, chin parallel with the floor, and then just close your eyes. I don't want you to change anything. All I want you to do is move your awareness to the entrance at the nose, at the nostrils, and become a passive observer to in-breath through the nose, outbreath through the nose. Bring your awareness back to the nose. Take a nice deep breath in. Have a nice slow breath out. Gently, gently flutter the eyes open. We should have started off that way.

SPEAKER_00 25:54

Yeah. So good.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

You know, and it's simple, right? If if we keep meditation really simple, we're gonna be able to attract more people to it, you know, and it's something that can be done anywhere. You're in DMV, like I always tell students, and the line's a million miles long. You can sit there and do that. Your plane's been delayed, you can sit there and do that. You're having trouble falling asleep at night, you just increase the number. Again, I use 54, you could really use any number, and you just keep going up, just not affecting the breath. You just watch that abdomen go backwards, go backwards, go backwards.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

It's amazing just doing that. And if you guys at home have done that with us, the feeling within your body, it's it's so different. I mean, I get a lot of nerves when I do this show, and everything just like just lets down. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

My guru used to tell us that if you can concentrate on one thing for 10 seconds, you've mastered the initial, the initial stages of meditation. All right, so if you're counting backwards 15 to 1 and you can complete it without having to restart, you're doing great with meditation.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Yeah, that's awesome. I'm gonna try that the next time I can't sleep at night. I'll tell you, it sounds really good.

SPEAKER_01 27:15

Works like a charm. I've given that uh recipe out to so many people over the years, 54 to 1 backwards. And uh, usually they come to me the next day and they're like, it works. I'm like, I know.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

Yeah, your mind starts going, you know, in the middle of the night. So this way you you uh just take it down. It's freaking awesome. So great.

SPEAKER_01 27:34

The Vedic philosophers, the yogis, they figured something out, right? About the human condition, about the mind. And even though our technology has improved over the past, you know, thousand years, two thousand years, the human condition has not changed. Right? And we still have the same emotions, we still have the same desires, um, the same needs, the same wants. And so the yogis figured a way out to settle the mind, to give us space, and to take us off that material platform at least for a moment.

SPEAKER_02 28:11

Yeah, it's it's needed. I mean, you just need to just give yourself a break, give your mind a break, you know. Um, I I think it's it's awesome. Um, I guess, you know, we did the breath work, but are there some gentle poses you recommend for? And what about men who carry a lot of tension throughout their body, their shoulders, their back, their jaws? You know, you hear a lot of time people get locked jawed because they're always, you know, just so intense.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

You know, for postures for just like right now, I would suggest that anyone that's listening to this and is like, my God, I should start a yoga practice. It's go you you're gonna have to do some legwork on your own. Right? There's gonna that's and that's where the what's what's amazing about yoga and different than so many different exercise uh modalities, is it can I it's a journey of a lifetime. Right? There's I've been practicing for 20 years now. I still feel like I'm just at the entrance of that door. So I would suggest if someone's like, you know, I'm listening to this, I really want to try some yoga out or postures for my back or some tension somewhere in my body. You gotta shop around and find a good yoga studio. And remember what I said in the beginning. I took the ladies' yoga class twice, who was absolutely wonderful, really. Great introduction to yoga. I tried another lady that it just wasn't my, I didn't gel with her, I didn't vibe with her. I can tell you right now, if you're listening to this and you're like, I'm gonna go find a yoga studio, don't discount the physical yoga practice or the meditation practice, because that first studio you walk into, you don't gel with. You know, because I could walk into a hundred different yoga studios, and there might be only 10 I really like. And but you could walk in to those other 90 studios I didn't like, and you and for some reason Serena gels with like another 20 of those that I just it just wasn't my thing. So it's it's a very subjective personal thing. So if you're feeling tension in the body, if you're feeling like you can, if you need to find if you poses might be something that you uh want, go really find a qualified teacher and you'll be set. Start slow. Don't take the if you're brand new to yoga, do not go take the most advanced, don't think I can do a level three class. Don't do that to yourself. You know, even me, when I take level three classes, I'm like, uh, do I really want to do this level for two or three classes? It's intense. Beginner classes, fantastic. I still take once in a while beginner classes because a good beginner yoga teacher is absolutely amazing. So find a great studio, they'll lead you through, try basic or beginner classes if you're new to this, and uh you'll get all the posture you want. It's too hard for me to go through posture, it just is it's so subjective, you know.

SPEAKER_02 31:10

Yeah, yeah. What do you think about transcendental yoga? Any thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_01 31:16

When I hear transcendental yoga, I don't know I've had transcendental experiences in my yoga practice. If you practice long enough, you're gonna have transcendental experiences in your yoga practice. I know there's transcendental meditation out there too, TM. I know a lot of people that have uh have had a really strong long practice with TM. Um so if it's something you're into, you can go explore TM or transcendental meditation. Um, but don't my my biggest turnoff with TM is you have to pay for it. You have to pay for anything, but they require, I forget what the I was this is going back a million years. I I was like 15 or 16, and there was a transcendental meditation studio in Kotona, New York. And I was like, again, this is my stumbling around in the dark, like I said, you know, I knew there was something out there, but I didn't know what it was. And I was in high school and I was like, transcendental meditation. I was like, that sounds really cool. And so I remember I called, like, I got the number and the yellow pages, you know, and called the number for the place. And I was like, hey, I was like, so what's the deal? They're like, well, you can come down here anytime you want. And I was like, great. And then they were like, but it's a 50, you have to buy it's a year, it's lifetime. So I guess you know, now looking back at 15, it seemed like an insurmountable sum. It's 15, it was like $1,500 or something for the, and I think it's a if someone's listening, they might be a TM person, you know, it's a $1,500 lifetime membership or something. I can't remember exactly what it was, but it was expensive. And I'm you know, for me, with that one practice at TM, I feel like you can find meditation for much cheaper and much very qualified.

SPEAKER_02 33:03

What to for listeners that don't know what TM is, can you explain it what it what it is?

SPEAKER_01 33:08

Transcendental meditation. I've never done a TM uh yoga practice uh meditation practice, but it's it's basically what we did with a mantra, from what I understand. Okay, so again, transcendental, you're coming. What does transcendental mean? We're coming off that material platform again. Got it. So where we're coming up to a place where we're gonna have a much different experience. So through meditation alone, all meditation becomes transcendental.

SPEAKER_00 33:38

Okay, right.

SPEAKER_01 33:39

So if I were to do that same practice again, I've never done a TM practice, but from what I understand is we would sit there with our breath, and then we get a mantra, and we repeat that mantra over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Now, do I need to pay $1,500 for a mantra? I don't know. I can tell you right now, I still use just a plain ohm mantra.

SPEAKER_00 34:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:05

Good, it's great. I can just ohm till the sun comes down. And uh and anyone listening, the ohm mantra is powerful, and you just got a free mantra. You can chant ohm all day long. And the way I do it, just to give a quick example, a lot of the times after I do 15 to 1, that countdown backwards, and you've been in classes where I do this, I I break the ohm mantra. So japa is repetition of a mantra. A japa jappa is the constant repetition of a mantra. So what I do is I inhale one part of the mantra like we do, and I exhale the other part. So I do this silently, mentally. I'll inhale, oh, and when I exhale mentally, I just repeat, mmm. And so then you combine that with 15 to 1 backwards, you combine you have a mantra you could use now uh mentally, and all of a sudden you're gonna reach that transcendental place where you lift off this material platform.

SPEAKER_02 35:14

It's just it's so enlightening. It just really is. I I love it, I really do. I think that's just it's it's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

And not to knock TM people. If you're a TM person out there, keep doing it. I'm not knocking it.

SPEAKER_02 35:27

Different strokes for different folks, you know.

SPEAKER_01 35:29

Exactly. It's just that when I was a kid, I remember I was like, whatever the price was, I don't remember it, but uh I was just like shocked. I was like, I was like, I was like, what I can't and I was like, I can't believe you want money for me. Even back then, I was like, I couldn't believe you wanted that much money.

SPEAKER_02 35:47

That's interesting. At 15, you would have gotten your money's worth that now.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

I would have, but you know, at 15 or 16, you know, that delayed my meditation practice for 15 years, you know. Um I got to it eventually. It just took me a little while longer.

SPEAKER_02 36:05

That's funny. Oh my gosh. So, do you have a personal ritual that the end of the day that helps you unwind and care for your your well-being?

SPEAKER_01 36:17

Yeah, I'm pretty strict with with my daily regimen. So I think that's part of it too, right? It's not just the physical practice that's gonna start changing things mentally. It's the food we eat, right? It's that that's an important factor. It's the association, it's sleep patterns, it's what we're putting, what we're listening to, what we're seeing, what we're tasting, all these things add up to my daily ritual. And I'm I'm I'm not super sure, I'm I'm a little rigid with certain things. So in the mornings, I get up pretty early most days. There honestly, there's one or two days I won't wake up at five just because my wife works really hard as a uh NP at a hospital, and I'm not gonna wake her up at five in the morning for my meditation. But most days I get up about five and um I I have a strict process. I do uh dream journaling first thing in the morning. I do that's seven days a week. I just don't wake up early those five other two other days. I do dream journaling and I do my Vedic astrology every day. So that happens first thing out of bed. Right after that, before I have any tea or coffee, I do my japa, my mantra meditation. I sit down, I have a certain mantra, I chant with uh I know they're in the other room, but I have mala beads, I use a set of mala, which is 108 rounds. So I do my mantra 108 times, I do a few prayers, and that's the morning practice. Then usually after that, and that takes on all about 20 minutes, I get up, breakfast, do my day. Um, I usually come back to more mantra meditation later in the day. And then before I'm pretty strict with bedtime. I'm I'm a nine o'clock, nine thirty bedtime guy. Um, there's there's a reason behind that in the yoga world. Uh, we usually, it's said again, it's not every day because you know, once in a while I go out to a concert or something. Um, but we shoot to get two hours before midnight of healing moon energy. So if I get to bed before 10, before that moon reaches its apex, I'm getting two hours of that healing energy from the moon while I sleep.

SPEAKER_00 38:44

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

But before bed, I do have a bedtime ritual. I make sure what I'm reading before bed when I get into bed is a philosophical spiritual book. So, you know, I watch sports on TV, I watch the Mets at night. And uh, you know, so I'm not just like watching, you know, spiritual things 24-7, but I'm, you know, before bed when I get in, um I'm reading, right now I'm reading uh Nectar of or uh Nectar of Devotion by Srila Prabhupada. So I'm read I'm reading some spiritual book in that realm because uh again, the yogis before I fall asleep, I want to make sure my dreams are going into that as much as I can influence it as possible. Then my dreams are going into that spiritual realm.

SPEAKER_00 39:35

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 39:35

You know, if I'm reading Stephen King right before bed, I guarantee you my dreams are gonna be much more agitated than if I'm reading, you know, Be Here Now by Ron Doss or something.

SPEAKER_02 39:46

Right, that's true. That's true. That's awesome. Then um, so talk to me a little bit about that moon, the how that affects you two hours before going to bed, two hours before the moon's at its apex. What does the moon energy do for you? Can you explain that?

SPEAKER_01 40:00

Well, the moon, the there's so again, the the lunar energy, it's it's waxing and waning. And just the way that I was trained was that uh the moon has a very, very positive healing of calming effect on us. So that's why I do that before Ben.

SPEAKER_02 40:18

Okay, cool. That's awesome. Thank you for sharing that.

SPEAKER_01 40:21

Um for people to try, something for people to keep in their minds, you know.

SPEAKER_02 40:26

It's you know, it's funny because I talk to you and I listen to you, and you know, I absorb it, and then it then I sit with it. And it's, you know, and in the weirdest times, it just comes back and I and I listen to what you say, and it just it it's it's really nurturing for my soul. It really is.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

Well, everybody too, right? If we're gonna try to help people on this path and be like, all right, let's try to like peep for people to get space, right? It's from this material world that is non-stop.

unknown 40:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:56

By moving yourself through a day like that and being like, okay, well, and there's different the whole moon thing gets really intense because with dream yoga, which is the reason I dream journal, you you could start noticing because the moon waxes and wanes, like I was saying, and you could start to notice how it affects your mentor your uh mental state as the moon waxes and wanes. It takes a little while for you to see that, but if you dream journal long enough and you watch the moon's phases, you're gonna notice your mindset during the waxing and waning in full moon.

SPEAKER_02 41:30

When you're dreaming that in the morning, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

Have you tried that at all? Dream journaling?

SPEAKER_02 41:34

I I did for like a very short period of time, but uh I got, you know, it fell away. So can you talk a little bit about it?

SPEAKER_01 41:41

Yeah, there is gonna be a time where I offer that as an online course.

SPEAKER_02 41:45

Oh, cool.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

Because it's it's a practice that I do constantly. It's an easy practice for everyone to do. And not only do you start understanding uh, you know, you start understanding your dream more and you can dreams more, and you can start to see uh, you know, symbols in your dreams and where the universe might want to take you in life. Um it also brings more awareness to your day. So if I'm practicing dream yoga and I have uh a parrot in my dream for whatever reason, and then I see a man walking down the street with a parrot, all of a sudden there's these two worlds that kind of collide together. And it just brings more, so you start living a more aware, more in-the-moment life with dream yoga. It's pretty simple. The way I was taught to do this years and years ago before I got really serious about it, was just start dream journaling. Have the journal by the bed. It's hard. So many people, I I I tell this, and like some so many people are like, I don't dream. If you do, I promise you, it's just that it takes, it's just like working out. You've got to get that muscle stronger, and you've got to get that memory stronger for remembering dreams. You definitely dream, guarantee it. So you have that dream journal right next to the bed, and just write the that's how I start. You just write the dream down as much as you remember when you uh wake up, and then you start, and it's and if you get into it, there's different things, but like I said, I will offer a dream journaling course and a dream yoga course sooner than later.

SPEAKER_02 43:30

Yeah, you should. I I I took a course on uh narrative healing, which was phenomenal. It it helped me like write letters to my son who passed, and and by writing those letters, it it was so healing to me. And I can see how dream journaling would be that too. I mean, I do remember a lot of my dreams, but life gets so busy with everything else. I usually put that on the back burner. But if you do do a course, I'm signing up for that.

SPEAKER_01 43:55

Yeah, it's good. It's really it it becomes incredibly intense. It's not As simplistic of a practice as that a lot of people dream, darling. Oh, it's good. But you know, we all, everyone that's listening at one point had one lucid dream, right? Where you realize you're dreaming.

SPEAKER_00 44:14

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:16

When you wake up, when you know you're in a dream. We've all had dreams at one point that are influential in our life, right? And so we so and there's there's just ways to really deepen that practice that are really, really, really, really phenomenal and easily accessible to so many people.

SPEAKER_02 44:34

That's that's yeah. I've had dreams where I like I feel like I'm um I wait, I think I'm awake, but I'm obviously still sleeping and I'm frozen, I can't move. And it's like it's so frightening. I'm like, I need to move, you know, and then I force myself to wake up and to to move again. But that's I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 44:52

Now, if you were in that dream and all of a sudden you realized you were frozen, yeah, and you're like, wait, I'm in a dream, I'm frozen, let me just unfreeze myself.

SPEAKER_02 45:03

It's more like in my mind, stop.

unknown 45:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:07

So you can all of a sudden see how if you start bringing dream yoga into things, how not only is it going to change your sleeping time and when you're dreaming, it's gonna change your awake time too.

SPEAKER_02 45:18

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I I'm a firm believer in that, and and writing it down is uh it's it's funny how when you take from what's here and you put it down on the paper, the healing power it has.

SPEAKER_01 45:31

It really has a huge amount. I like intuitive writing too. It's really, really powerful. I mean, I've only done it once or twice, but it's really very, very, very profound stuff.

SPEAKER_02 45:41

It's it's amazing. Um, I I have a listener who's here who said they've never done yoga and they'd like uh they feel like they'd stand out, you know, and a little bit self-conscious about it. What would you say to someone like them?

SPEAKER_01 45:57

Don't worry, everyone's looking at their phone. Yeah, no one, no one's paying attention, trust me. You know, there's no reason to, and again, that comes back to finding a place you gel with, right? Because, you know, again, there's so many, I've tried so many yoga studios and so many, I don't even know, countless yoga teachers. And there's it's it's very subjective, you know. But if you find a place, a community that's of that you feel comfortable, the amount of growth spiritually and mentally that can happen, it's infinite.

SPEAKER_02 46:35

Yeah, yeah, I believe it. I do.

SPEAKER_01 46:37

Don't worry, no one's looking. They're not. There's so many people are just worried about themselves.

SPEAKER_02 46:46

It's so true. It's so true. I have another one here that says, Can breath really help during a panic attack?

SPEAKER_01 46:53

110%. So I'm someone that uh has anxiety, not so much as I did before I started meditation practice or breath practice. But if you're having a panic attack and you do that 15 to 1 countdown, yeah, how can that not help?

SPEAKER_00 47:12

Oh my gosh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 47:13

And you increase it. So you could do 15 to 1, maybe you do 27 to 130, you can choose your own number, but you do that counting backwards and watching the breath in and out, there is no way that's not gonna help. I I get I get I and again, if you start taking different courses from different teachers, you'll learn all these different pranayama and breathing techniques. And I 100%, you might not like the posture practice, but if you find someone a good meditation teacher and breath work teacher, you're gonna find a way to calm down and stop that anxiety because it did for me.

SPEAKER_02 47:48

Yeah, oh yeah, I I believe that 100%. Mike, if you could leave one message for the man who's barely holding it together, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01 48:02

You know, it's tough. It's it's it's a hard world out there. It really, really is. You know, there's a lot of weight on men and women out there. We we put a lot of pressure on ourselves. But if you're at that point where your stress levels are at 10, your anxiety levels at 10, you know, I I would start with there's it's hard to say one thing, you know. I believe it's multifaceted for me. So it's it's finding a good association, yogis believe, is one of the most important things who you're hanging out with. And if you find a good community that you don't have to say a thing, and you can just listen and it starts changing your mindset, that is a powerful first step, right? Just positive association and people that will allow you just just to it's a great thing where they're not putting any pressure on you, yeah, and they're just like come hang out and listen. And if you're in a positive community and a positive place, you're gonna have that change. I think service is a great thing. I think that if you find that positive community, there's gonna be a way to serve those people, and that also is gonna help reduce those number 10 levels that sometimes we all feel. I I do think it goes on. I'm sure you know it, you know, food, what you listen, like I said, it's important. What I listen to as far as music, you know, it's very, very important. I'm not lit again, I like all, you know me. You've been to some of my classes where I the Vin classes where I use music, but I like all genres, but I'm still very careful about what I'm putting in my ears for music. I'm very careful about what I'm putting in my eyes to watch for TV. I'm very careful about what I'm putting in my mouth for food, right? Because I know all these things, whether you might not realize it, add up to that whole like pressure cooker of when you're just about to explode.

SPEAKER_00 50:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:18

All you have to do is change one of them. All right, I'm gonna try to have a plant-based diet once a week.

SPEAKER_00 50:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 50:26

Right. That that one pot if you're like, all right, I live out in the middle of Maine, there's no one else around me but the deer and the you know, the the eagles, so I don't have a place to go, but but I could change the way I eat on Mondays. Yeah, I could have a plant-based diet, you know. I can change that. I'm listening to heavy metal 24-7 or watching Stephen King movies every day. If you're a Stephen King fan, I'm not knocking you either. I do watch those things too once in a while. It's that constant bombardment of that stuff that our senses that that's one of the most important lessons that yoga has taught me about drawing my senses inward so I'm in control.

SPEAKER_02 51:13

Yes, that's such a great lesson. I'm learning myself that you know I can't control other people, but I can only control my reaction.

SPEAKER_01 51:23

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 51:24

And that's been a huge lesson that I learned over I'm 57 now. So I mean, it's really it's taken a while, but I've but I've learned it, you know, and I try and live by that and trying to teach my 21-year-old kids that be you know, it's uh it's a great life lesson, I'll tell you.

SPEAKER_01 51:42

It takes a while to sink in, trust me. 30-year-old Mike, you know, is much different than 50-year-old Mike. So, you know, it's just it's you know, you learn these things. That's the value. We were talking about that too out in the porch just a moment ago, my wife and I, that uh, you know, because you know we're all getting older here, and we were talking about, you know, age and the wisdom that comes along with age. And we both said, even if a genie came to us right now and said, I'll give you both your turn you back to 18, but you forget all the wisdom you have now. You have to start it all over again. There's just no way.

SPEAKER_02 52:23

No, I wouldn't do it either.

SPEAKER_01 52:25

Yeah, no, no. If I lose the wisdom I have now, because it's it takes that to know that you're in it's you. You know, you have the choice to react or not to react.

SPEAKER_02 52:36

And that that's a lesson. I mean, it's a journey, and it's you know, and it takes some of us longer than others to learn that, you know.

SPEAKER_01 52:44

Some people learn it really young, you know. Some people are really blessed and they have that spiritual realization really young, and other people, you know, we gotta go through things to get there.

SPEAKER_02 52:55

It's true, it's true. So I have a few lighter questions to ask you. Um, I call it the lightning round questions. What's one mantra that drags you out of bed?

SPEAKER_01 53:07

All right. So I again I didn't want to get too far into what I'm my daily practice, but so when I step out of bed in the morning, I'm very specific with the foot I step out of bed. And then once I there's this whole system, trust me, I can't go into it here, but uh, I chant uh sumadravasane devi parvatastana mandale visnupatni namastubyam padasvarsam shamasvame. The translation of that is O Goddess Earth, who has the mountains as her bosom, the oceans as her garments, Sri Vishnu as her eternal consort. Please forgive me for placing my feet upon you today. So I start each day with that mantra with asking for gratitude, with gratitude for goddess earth.

SPEAKER_02 53:58

Yeah, that's beautiful. How about how about a song that puts your heart back into your chest?

SPEAKER_01 54:06

It changes from day to day for me for uh music. Uh you know, a solid one that I really like. Uh I'll say a go-to is Franklin's Tower by the Grateful Dead. Okay, all right. We'll just go with that. That's a that's a good go-to song.

SPEAKER_02 54:28

All right, how about a book that you keep on gifting? That you give whenever you can.

SPEAKER_01 54:33

Really easy. I really recommend this book. I love this book. I love a journey home by Randanat Swamy. Absolutely phenomenal book on someone's personal journey of transformation. He starts out in the 60s, um, travels across. It's a crazy story, really great book on someone finding their spiritual path. So a journey home, Randana Swami.

SPEAKER_02 55:02

All right. I got them right. I'm gonna that's gonna be my next book. Um, okay, healing in one word. Oh. Love it. I love it. So um usually I close out with a poem from my that my son used to write poems all the time. And he encapsulized being a 15-year-old, 16-year-old teenager in his poetry. But before I do that, I want you to please tell our listeners how to reach you and take one of your amazing classes.

SPEAKER_01 55:32

So you can take my class at Chelsea Pierce, Connecticut, if you live in this area in person. Every Thursday at 9 a.m., I offer an online class that I send a link out for once a week. I do corporate sessions and private sessions in person and online. If you live in Connecticut, if you live close by, I can do in person. But the best way to contact me is mikecalyyoga at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_02 56:01

Awesome. Thank you, Mike. That's awesome. So, okay, so the poem that my son wrote, um, and I gotta put my glasses on for this, sorry. It's called I don't know. I don't know what to do. My emotions are construed. I can't tell if people want to be around me or just want me to buy them food. I know I'm fun and I think I'm great, but over time am I too much to take. People have drifted from me and act like I don't see it, but I do. So why can't they just be rude, speak their mind instead of playing with mine? I'm tired of trying to figure things out when really all the gossip means nothing. I love people and I want to be so nice, but some people hand me the knife. Why's everybody got to be so confusing, especially those who be using? I just want you to know by constantly refusing, changing your mind like it goes with the tide, by not communicating with words, but attempting to let your actions be the guide. That's what makes my brain fried. I'm tired of trying when people just be flat out lying to my face, make me feel like a disgrace. Just stop being so fake. Take control of your life. Know what you want, but don't take too long, because the train waits for nobody, not even someone in your mental state. This my son was 15 when he wrote this.

SPEAKER_01 57:28

Very nice.

SPEAKER_02 57:28

You know, life life is crazy, but I can't thank you enough, Mike, for sharing your light, sharing your wisdom, and all the great lessons that you gave us to the show today. And um, before we go, um, I'd like just everybody to take a breath in, like we began. And exhale. And I hope to our listeners that if you like the show, please rate it. Uh, if you want to reach out, you can reach me on the SOSradio.live website, SOS Stories of Survivors. Uh, donations are always welcome. And tune in next week, uh Sunday at 1.30 p.m. for a next amazing show. And remember, SOS Stories of Survivors, where survival sparks the show. Thank you so much for joining.

SPEAKER_01 58:21

Thank you, Serena. That was a lot of fun.