SOS - Stories of Survivors
A podcast dedicated to resilience, healing, hope, and the power of the human spirit.
SOS - Stories of Survivors
Ep. 007 | Rebuilding from the Inside Out: Healing, Hope & Second Chances
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In this heartfelt episode of SOS – Stories of Survivors, host Serina Dansker sits down with Michele Litt, Executive Director of HangTime, for an inspiring and transformative conversation about healing, hope, and the power of second chances. Michele shares her powerful journey of rebuilding from the inside out—highlighting how personal adversity became the foundation for a mission that now impacts countless lives. Through HangTime, Michele is helping individuals reclaim their purpose, restore dignity, and rewrite their stories with courage and compassion. This episode is a moving reminder that even in our darkest moments, transformation is possible—and hope always finds a way.
To learn more about Serina Dansker, purchase her book S.O.S.: A Lesson on Love, Loss, & Survival, book her for a public speaking engagement, and discover more stories of hope, healing, and resilience, visit www.serinadansker.com.
S.O.S. Stories of Survivors — Where Survival Sparks the Soul.
My mindset was just trying to make as much money as I could, as fast as I could.
SPEAKER_05I was in and out of jail. It was a part of the game. They were just making them my own rules. So I wanted to feel like I mattered.
SPEAKER_03My pride wouldn't allow me to ask for help.
SPEAKER_04I did everything that I needed to do to survive.
SPEAKER_07There's this whole perception about it. Everybody can pull themselves up from the bootstrap. Right? Well, that's not real. If no one's willing to give you an opportunity, you don't even have boots.
SPEAKER_08My daughter was probably two months when I was incarcerated. Before you know it, she's walking. Before you know it, she's talking. Those are the things that caused the real change. Missed my daughter's prompt to miss her graduation. I wasn't there. That was it for me. So I wanted to make a change for myself, and I promised her and my son that I wasn't gonna go to prison again.
SPEAKER_05I didn't know what I was gonna do. I just knew I didn't want to go back to jail, nor did I want to die.
SPEAKER_08I always knew that it was an endgame, just didn't understand exactly how to exit.
SPEAKER_04I thought that hustling and selling drugs and carrying guns and hanging on the corners, I thought that was normal. I thought you had to do that to survive. So for me, the change was something that switched off. And either the streets gonna take over and I'm gonna go back to prison, or I'm gonna just take this step and see what hang time can do for me.
SPEAKER_07Those individuals who had to overcome major obstacles, they just have to have a direction other than what they believed was their only option. The minute you show them the sustainability of living a different life, it's real. Now you've made an impact.
SPEAKER_05Some people make a mistake in life and then gotta live with it. You don't have to. It's proof that you can change. And I did.
SPEAKER_06It addresses real problems. And not only that, it offers solutions.
SPEAKER_02They take this beautiful slice of community, love, and humanity and walk out of the Hangtime room and carry it with them for the rest of their lives.
SPEAKER_00My favorite thing about Hangtime is I learned something new every time.
SPEAKER_08It was a social issue, it's some history, learning about different cultures because there's so many different types of people down there in Hangtime, different ethnicities and religions, and everybody's saying how they felt. I'm like, that's what gets me going.
SPEAKER_03I just got an apartment. I got a car. These people pushed me to do that. If somebody saw that in me, I must be changing.
SPEAKER_08If you need help, if you need a change, if you need support, someone to talk to when it comes to your mental health, physical health, education.
SPEAKER_03These people are actually doing something so spectacular in their lives. I've started living each day with purpose because of anything hard.
SPEAKER_04I would like people to know that if you put one foot forward, I think I'm gonna put two, and we won't let you know.
SPEAKER_05Today I met you, my life extended. I got on the right path. I want to make the universe better for me and my kids or someone else because I want to help somebody.
SPEAKER_06I do something good with them to come out of here.
SPEAKER_07If you are ready for lifelong change to be able to help the next man, you feel happy. I have one question for you. Tell me who you are, where you are, why you're mad, why is that why you can't be able to do that?
SPEAKER_01Not only is she a fierce advocate, compassionate leader, and a true force for transformation, but Michelle Litt is the executive director of Hangtime, a trauma-informed re-entry support program designed to empower formerly incarcerated men and women with the tools, community, and courage they need to rebuild their lives. Through her work at Hangtime and Hard Time, Michelle holds sacred space for the men and women who are so often unheard and unseen, reminding them of their inherent worth and that they are more than enough. But Michelle doesn't just talk the talk. She walks the walk. She is with these people all of the time and there to support. Her story is one of resilience, advocacy, and unwavering love. Please join me in welcoming the extraordinary woman, survivor, and soul warrior, Michelle Litt.
SPEAKER_10Thank you, Serena. I'm glad to be here.
SPEAKER_01I'm so happy that you're here. And I really want to understand what inspired you to get involved with Hangtime and Hard Time.
SPEAKER_10Well, you know, Serena, that's a good question. Because, like many of us, um I was at a point in my life where I was looking for something to give me a meaningful purpose. I was actually working with another organization where I was running a grant program, where we were finding organizations that were doing impactful work, um, but not just on their own, working in collaboration with community. Um, I met uh Charlie Grady, who runs the Hangtime program, and we gave him a little bit of money. I spent some time with the organization and realized that I could probably provide way more value working with him than just giving him money. And this was over three years ago now.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, that's incredible. So what kind of support um or or actually share a bit about your personal journey and how it led you to advocacy and community work in general? I mean, you say you were with another company offering grants, and how how did you get started in that?
SPEAKER_10Uh well, I was actually I had made a career change. Um I'd done a number of different things in my life. I started out in finance, um, I was drawn to New York and uh did some work there, uh, took some time off to raise my kids. I then got involved in the nonprofit sector as a segue back into the workforce. And um that's how I started working in nonprofits in general and was recruited to run a new grant program at the United Way.
SPEAKER_01Wow, that's incredible. And so I know that the re-entry process is a crucial and a critical issue, especially with women and also with men. Can you talk a little bit about that?
SPEAKER_10Absolutely. So um in the state of Connecticut where where we work, um the the re-offend rates are incredible. Um, most individuals who have come home will re-offend and go back to prison at in the first year about at a rate of 45%. What? Those same individuals, if they're out for three years, will go back at a rate of 76%. Um a lot of this is driven by the fact that um you come home, um, sometimes you lack skills, you lack education, but and you also lack positive support in your life. And that's the support that Hangtime provides. Um, and we serve as a connection network for individuals who come home from incarceration to help them reintegrate back into their communities.
SPEAKER_01That's that's incredible. Um how does uh Hangtime differ though from her time in its approach and its programming?
SPEAKER_10That's a really good question. So, you know, Hangtime uh was started 10 years ago um for men coming home from incarceration. And her time, its sister program was actually started by women, um, not women who were incarcerated themselves, but women who couldn't figure out where their loved one, their man, their boyfriend, their their father, uh their brother was going every Tuesday night, a place that they were going that they weren't mandated to go. And remember, if you've ever been in a system where you're told where to eat, where to stand, how to behave, this was something that was really empowering. And women couldn't figure out where the men were going. So her time was created actually as a support group for women who had a loved one incarcerated. Um, it is sensed more to be just a support, uh sort of group of women. If you've been incarcerated yourself, if you have a loved one incarcerated, or if you just want to be involved in something really positive in your community. And that's what her time does.
SPEAKER_01You know, that's so incredible. I was talking with a friend not too long ago, and we were just saying how, you know, it's time that, you know, life has changed for women, you know, building up women and and and supporting and and and caring for each other is starting to become more and more pronounced in my everyday life. I I meet so many different people, and whereas we would talk, and once upon a time, you know, you would not want to be friends with so many women because you'd feel like torn down or you would feel jealousy or whatever. But I think the tides are turning. I think it's about time that we we're forming our community and we're supporting each other, and we're actually we're making a difference in each other's lives, almost like a sisterhood, if you will. Um but I'm curious. So for her time specifically, um, what kind of support um does do they provide the women re-entering society?
SPEAKER_10Well, well, first I'm gonna take a step back because you use the word sisterhood. And that's what we call her time. And really, and one of the things, and we've always talked about hang and her time in general, is that it's this microcosm of a greater society that we all want to be a part of. Because imagine if you walked into a place where nobody judged you, nobody looked you up and down to see what you were wearing, instead, you were greeted with a hug. Um, people asked about your day, and nothing that you said was taken out of context or offended someone or was viewed as competitive to someone. And and that's that's the first, that's the first part of it. Um, the second part of support that we provide, I hate to say it, it's as simple as love, it's as simple as encouragement. Um, we call ourselves in Hang and Her Time a family. In fact, if you come into a hang or her time room and you call it a program, you will be shouted out of the room, and you'll be told it's it's it's it's a family, that we're sisters, we're brothers, this is my uncle. Um, and it's you know, it's the family you choose. And for for someone who may not have had any positive support, who may not have had any positive role models, who may have come from a background of incredible trauma, which we'll talk about because so many individuals who go to prison have been through a lot of childhood trauma. Um, it's just that type of support is first and foremost. Um, secondly, we provide connections to resources. Um, you come oftentimes you come home with no ID. You need to get employment. And so we collaborate with lots of other providers to offer you jobs, trainings, education, mental health support, um, all those connections you can get at her time. And you know, we always talk about our programs, sorry, that's the bad word, the P word, our family as offering um connection in that two-hour period. But yet behind the scenes, it's like imagine if you're looking at an iceberg. And so the tip of the iceberg is the two-hour session where you come to a hang time, you come to a her time. But underneath the iceberg is what our program managers are doing all through the week to make sure that you get what you need because you're looking for something and you're not getting it because you may not you may be residing in a residential facility or you just don't know where to go. And and that's that's the kind of support that we provide.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, that is that's just so amazing. I mean, what a brilliant idea. I wish they did it in every state. Um, you know, I just I think this is something that you're onto something here, Michelle. I think it's it's really beautiful. Can you um walk us through like a typical hard time, I don't want to say a meeting, but a family event or session, if you will.
SPEAKER_10I I sure can. And uh let me take a step back too. And I may be I may be onto something, but I am just part of a larger team. As I said, Charlie Grady started this organization in 2014. We have 18 different uh part-time and full-time individuals that work with us um to make sure that this this this program, family, um continues and grows and morphs and is innovative and is addressing needs. But a there's a a real formula to a her time session, which you don't actually know when you walk in there because it seems really natural, relaxed, and organic. And at first it starts off with everyone, you go around the room, and the program facilitator will ask you what your name is, why you're mad or glad. And by doing this, oftentimes we can figure out in the room at her time what you need, what you're going through. You may say, Hey, I had a great day today, and let me explain to you why. Or you could say, I'm really having a tough time. Um, I I just came home, my kids don't speak to me. I've spent most of my life away from them, and I need to let them know that I'm a new person now, that I'm really gonna try to break my bad habits. Um, and so that's the beginning of any hang or her time um session, is where you walk around the room and you explain your name, you explain why you're mad or glad. Um, from there, uh there's typically a lesson on, because we think education is really important, a lesson in history or current events. Um and everyone's opinion is valued. And so we we talk, we discussion, uh we excuse me, we problem solve through discussion in that two-hour, um, in that two-hour session. We also always provide a hot meal. Everyone is always served. And you know, for some people, it's maybe the only hot meal that they get that week. Um, we had an individual, and I remember this really distinctly because it it it made a big impression on me. And it was a man, he was in Bridgeport Hangtime. He said, You know, I grew up in the city, I've been home for 11 months. My family lives here, and I've never and once served a hot meal with them the way I had here. I am here every week at Hangtime.
SPEAKER_01You know, that just breaks my heart, you know, it really does because I'm I'm a huge proponent of family and just being there for each other. And um, you know, I I I wonder, you know, what are I mean, I I I don't know really anyone who's been incarcerated, but I I'm sure there are barriers when you're coming out of of incarceration. And can you talk a little bit about what some of the biggest barriers either men or women face? Sure, I'm happy to.
SPEAKER_10Um well, I I mean, it it goes without saying one of the biggest barriers is that you have a felony record, um, which will uh dictate kind of what you can or cannot do. Um, I will also mention to you that um most hang time uh members, uh family members, uh have fairly significant criminal histories. So um it's not white-collar crime for most of them. And so that that's clearly a barrier. Um education, lack of education, uh, lack of a consistent W-2 job or work experience. Um, so that's a big barrier. Oftentimes you come home with no money, uh, no ID, which you have to get. Um, so you know, you kind of start from ground zero. You have you have no you have limited skills, you have limited work experience, you don't even have an ID. Uh, you can't you can't get get on a you can't apply for a job without that, you can't get health insurance without that. And so so that's just a bare minimum. Um again, I I talked about trauma, and and I really believe that um trauma plays a big role in an individual being incarcerated, and so there are mental health challenges. Um sometimes there are substance use issues. Uh more so I find with women um who've been incarcerated than men. But um, so all of these things create a barrier. And sometimes when the barriers are just so great and and the hill seems so high that you have to climb, it makes you want to just give up. And sometimes you just need someone to kind of cheer you on and say, you can do this. And you know, I last week we had an experience where there was a gentleman who came home, and we typically have a you know a protocol that we follow where we give people what we call emergency support, which we have a little we have funding aside for and uh this young man uh ended up asking for a bus pass, just a bus pass. It was a 30-day bus pass, probably cost us $71. When we gave it to him, he started to cry because no one had done anything that was nice for him. Like what a little thing that goes such a long way.
SPEAKER_01I I it warms my heart that you know that something so small can can make such a big impact on people's lives. And you talk about sharing, you know, helping them with this burden, sharing the burden. And what I've discovered through my own traumas, through grief and everything is that when you do have burma burdens, and we all have our our burdens, our crosses to bear, when you do have someone to help you carry that 3,000-pound elephant that's sitting on your shoulders, it makes it a little bit easier. It makes it a little bit lighter, and you're able to move a little bit better, you know, and and talking about trauma, and you've mentioned it too, let's talk about how trauma plays a role in re-entry or or you know uh especially with hard time. I mean, with children too. I mean, I'm sure the women have children, and that becomes an issue. So can you talk a little bit about the trauma?
SPEAKER_10Sure. I mean women in particular, I think it's re-reintegrating is one thing, reconnecting with your children is something even harder. Um and you know, I I we talk about trauma, and I find a lot of times there's abuse that these women have suffered, and men as children, um, sexual abuse, physical, emotional abuse, and and then that is carried on to the next generation, right? And there's this kind of old adage of you know, you know, don't don't don't don't tell what goes on in mommy's house, don't tell the family business. Um yet if that family business would have was addressed, then you wouldn't have to turn to uh drugs or illegal substances or even alcohol as a way to numb your pain. And um, you know, one of the great things about her time is that uh we uh allow the women to bring their children. We provide child care every session. We also have a program that we call Hangtime Mobile where we take individuals and we teach them about something historically or culturally significant, and we take them there that following week. This past year we did six local museums from the Mystic Aquarium, amazing, to the New Britain Museum of Art, and a lot of different things in between and a few.
SPEAKER_01of the women brought their their children um and some of their younger children and it was really beautiful to watch them reconnect with their kids share something educational with them and just to be a part of it wow that is you know that that warms your heart it really does I mean it's it's such a great program and the way you guys structure it and just I mean I'm I love museums I love going and just expanding my knowledge and and and seeing all the artwork and um I could only imagine uh what it's done for some of these women do you have uh maybe a powerful success story from your work that's stayed with you that you'd like to share with us uh I do I actually have uh have have two um a man and a woman and uh I will go on to say that uh both of these individuals now work for us because um we uh have many program participants who are now employees of Hang and Hurt Time and uh one individual is a young man who um ended up being very abused as a child uh and whose father committed suicide whose mother abused him because she was in such pain he ended up getting involved with the wrong group of people uh went into what was uh an activity with a group of older guys it ended up being a holdup of a convenience store uh as he was walking in he was handed the gun he was told not to be a wimp to go ahead and he wasn't trying to hurt anybody but when he stuck up the convenience store owner he pulled out a gun and this young man shot him at 14.
SPEAKER_10He wasn't he was just 14 he ended up going to prison for over 35 years um he came out because the law changed and minors uh who were who were sentenced at that time were um allowed to argue their cases he came out early um he uh while he was in prison he ended up getting his education he connected with positive people people who believed in him um he went to college he studied the law he argued his own case to get out um uh this individual's name is Tim he now works for Hangtime as a choices youth mentor where we provide um youth mentoring and violence prevention for high school athletes in disadvantaged communities wow and he's been home for three years and he's inspiring every single day um that's just one person uh there's many of these uh there's also a woman who uh also works with me and uh she went to jail um multiple times uh larceny related issues and um finally about uh seven years ago she was introduced to Charlie at Hangtime uh she became a her and hangtime program manager uh she was nominated for a program that we run called the Connecticut Hall of Change which is the first in the country that recognizes eight formally incarcerated individuals a year who have given back in their communities in meaningful ways she was uh uh inducted into the Connecticut Hall of Change in in 2023 she was um granted a full pardon and she serves as a program manager for Hangtime her name is Chrissy and she's one of the most inspirational get it done women I've ever met oh my gosh that's amazing wow I um I I I these these people are just they've they've changed their life around and you know when you think about our system like I think about the the mental healthcare system that we have and I know that the system is broken what do you think needs to change at a systemic level to better support formerly incarcerated people well well well one I I would say this um some of it has to do it's cultural and uh for many years even asking for mental health support as you know was considered a weakness right so a lot of that stigma has gone away but it still exists um I also think that um you have to treat the whole family and and I find in my work that people love to help kids um we always say this if you follow home a broken child you'll find a broken adult and a broken family so I I think kind of you have to address it holistically you can't just address one person you have to address them all. I think it would be incredible if we had mental health workers that really spent more time with individuals coming home. I know that we try in our hangtime and her time sessions to make sure we have someone with that type of background um in the room and you know then it's non-threatening too imagine if you're sitting next to someone who is a social worker or and we we this is like a common a common room um at a hangtime or her time session a social worker or a mental health professional or somebody who's going to give you a job and there's someone you get to know it's like hey Serena I had no idea when I've been talking to you for the last three weeks that actually you did this. And so there's this ease and familiarity and and and and comfort by getting to know people. So I think you know kind of making it easily accessible um you know making it mandatory or at least available to people would really be helpful.
SPEAKER_01That's unbelievable. So um how do you think you know how do you I guess when you're surrounded by all of these stories and some are are truly heartbreaking how do you stay grounded and hopeful in the line of work that you're in because I'm sure that a lot of times it's it's it's difficult.
SPEAKER_10So that's a really good question. And what I'm gonna say I think you'll find surprising and it is that going to hang in her time is one of the highlights of my week and the people are incredibly beautiful and loving. And it doesn't matter what's going on for me that day when I walk into that room there's just an incredible amount of energy and love that pours into you and so you think you're pouring it back but you're for me I get more than I give and so um and I'm not saying every story is a success. I told you of two and there are many like that but there are also those that that stumble and and so you got to be there to catch them. And and sometimes you feel like you've done so much yet the person still stumbles and you know I try to be hopeful I'm I'm lucky in my own life I have a really supportive family I have an incredible husband who is so proud of what I'm doing.
SPEAKER_01I've got you know my kids who who are proud of me and I've got colleagues that I can count on and that's meaningful too because I I'm at a point in my life where I don't work with people I don't like anymore and not people I can count on and I feel I have that and so if I'm having a day where I'm a little bit you know under the gun or overwhelmed I know I can turn to somebody and say hey can you help me today wow yeah that that's really important to have that support system and you know knowing that you have people that you can count on that you work with and that are supportive and and share your vision as well um how what ways do you empower the women in your I don't want to say program in your family to use their voices for change I mean it's it's you know I'm sure it's several people that it it takes um a lot of people out there not just one voice you have to have a lot of people can you talk a little bit about that I I can and I I think you know I mentioned earlier that everybody's voice is heard and that everyone's opinion matters.
SPEAKER_10And sometimes you'll have women who walk in the room and they're quiet and they don't open up at first and it takes them a little while to get there. But when someone beside you shares or gives you something and and I'll give you for instance I was in Stanford at her time last week or two weeks ago actually and there was a a prize given it was like underneath a chair and everybody wanted these prizes because you know why it's really fun to win and uh someone that I know got it and just an attendee an attendee from Bridgeport who traveled to Stanford and she found it but she gave it to the person next to her and and you that whole the whole attitude and outlook and you could watch this woman just soften and open up because somebody did something nice for her. Wow you know and we've had stories where you know people come they have so little but they'll give you everything because they think you might need it like they don't have a bed they don't have a place to live but you need $20 and someone across the room says here you go and and you know and I love that because I think about like I have friends like you I have great friends but if I didn't know somebody and I said oh gosh I'm really struggling could you give me 20 bucks I'm not sure if they would do it I would time they will that's you know that's that's the beauty of it.
SPEAKER_01That's a beauty of people um that come together in a community that are there to help they're there to build you up they're there to shine their light on you and and I think you know they're not doing it for any other reason than just to be kind. And I think the more that you shine your light or the more that you say some kind words or you give that prize that you got underneath your seat to someone else it comes back to you.
SPEAKER_10It comes back to you tenfold and I just think that's so amazing and you know if we talk about some of the reflections and and in those three years that you've been with her time and hang time um can you share some things which you've learned with some of the people that you've worked with sure I I'm happy to I would say um people as a whole are stronger and more resilient than you think um I also know that um we talked about kindness and giving and you'll get it back and it's sort of what you were talking like treat people the way you want to be treated. Yeah um I would say that communities that people might look at and say oh and I used this term before is oh this they're disadvantaged. I found some of the most incredible people who are loving and supportive uh that who will come together um who made made a made a choice and that's one thing I'd say about Hang and her time in general is that you know we have a an incredibly high um success rate. I talked about the recidivism rates and I and I think we didn't talk about this but April is actually re-entry month. Wow and so this is very timely and you know kind of in the state of Connecticut you know how easy it is to reoffend and fall back on your own ways and and one of the reasons we're so successful is that it's self-selecting the individuals who decide to come to hang or her time have made a choice they want to make a change sometimes they don't know how but they really do and so you know I just the the the power of the human spirit is um always amazes me you know you talk about April is re-entry month now I don't know what exactly that means you know um and so can you explain exactly what the significance of re-entry month is and why there's a focus on it well you know um I think you know is it February is women's month yes and uh I think oftentimes you know individuals groups communities that are overlooked um it's sometimes it makes a lot of sense to shine the light on them and uh reentry month is what we call kind of returning citizens individuals who are coming home and April is the month where there are a number of different resource fairs and a light that shined that shines on returning citizens as a group and it raises awareness and education and I think you know what's interesting to me is that you'll talk to different people and um as I kind of go through my journey I found that like I have a um uh a family member who has his justice involved and a you know a uh a nephew and you know if you kind of dig a little bit you know below the surface you'll find that everybody has something yeah and so sometimes it just makes sense to um provide a little bit more amplification on certain groups on certain individuals on certain causes um and we find that we really are all we're all just people yeah you're right you know um we all you know are struggling in our own ways to you know to find our way forward to become you know better people or the best version of ourselves and you know working together or working with a group like Hangtime or HerTime is absolutely incredible and I I I just I applaud everything you've done in Connecticut.
SPEAKER_01I hope more states um embrace the ideology behind it because we all need the help you know we can't do it alone and knowing that there's a support system out there it just it it takes some of the weight off it takes some of the pressure off what would you say your longer term vision is for hang time or hard time you know it really depends who you ask if you talk to my boss uh we would be expanding in more cities which I think is eventually a goal I think for short-term goals are we just want to expand our outreach um to serve more people uh we'd like to expand to other cities in Connecticut um it would be my extreme you know pleasure and and a source of pride if there were hang times and her times in other states because the model's really simple and it's not proprietary.
SPEAKER_10It's giving people a voice it's treating them the way they want to be treated it's offering them support and uh this Connecticut Hall of Change which I think I mentioned to you is so easy to replicate in other states. I'd like to see that in all 50 states um because these individuals who are recognized are really inspiring and they inspire others to do the same and as much as you or I might say to someone oh you should do as I do if you to have someone who has actually walked in their shoes do this and educate people and and serve as a source of inspiration you look at that person you think if they did this I can do it too. Yeah I can do it too so you know those are those are some of my goals um and you know I think the sky's the limit. I mean I I love every day um you know obviously you know every every every journey starts with a single step and every nonprofit it goes back to fundraising and you know so you need that to to make yourself um viable yes yes that's that's true and and so let's talk about fundraising um how can our audience if they want to support hangtime or her time get in touch with you or sure yeah absolutely like uh listen i'll I as I'll say I I'll talk to anybody I love what I do I'll probably talk more than you want me to um but uh you can also go to our website um which is hangtime real talk dot org or you can reach out to me Michelle Litt uh at mlit at hangtime real talk dot com and uh you know and I also encourage you to come I mean come to one of our if you if you're in the area if you're near near Connecticut we're in or as I said we're in we're in four cities we're in Bridgeport New Haven Stanford and Waterbury come be part of us and because part of the secret sauce of hang in her time is that it's not just one type of person sitting there talking about the same thing it's a diversified crowd and it's a almost like a networking group and so you know you you will come in Serena and I and you've been there um and you'll be sitting next to someone you might know from across town someone you've never met someone who's been incarcerated someone who's in a uh in a recovery program and it's just it's a great diverse group that pulls off of each other so you know get involved come visit us.
SPEAKER_01You know it's funny you say that because I did I did come and visit uh the Stanford uh hard time and I gotta say I was a little nervous going in I didn't know anybody I just it was a long day and I just I wanted to see what it was all about. I felt I had talked to you Michelle and I had I felt you know your positive energy and when I walked in there I was greeted with open arms hugs as if they were old friends and it was it was really nice. I was given a warm meal um I sat next to some women with children and you know they were talking about some of the problems they had with bed wedding and just just normal mom talk. And then it was I didn't expect it but there was a speaker that came in and talked to all of us about her experience. She was a journalist and she had gotten into a situation where she had lost a job and she um talked about her struggles and how she came um back from that and wrote books and is also on another radio station and uh is an anchor and it was just it was so empowering to listen to her story and to have these women ask her questions. I I was really blown away.
SPEAKER_10Yeah I I think I think the the moral of that story is uh you know making a mistake doesn't discriminate and and nobody should be judged by their their worst mistake um and oftentimes if you have been incarcerated you are and uh the woman you you speak of is incredible and you could be sitting across from her at a fancy dinner and you know so it people you know incarceration it it you know it it it it has many faces shapes sizes and colors yes absolutely so a little bit of a kind of a change here a little uh fun question for you could you tell me about a book that you've read that's changed your perspective in in any way so um I am in two book groups I read every night to fall asleep because I have a little bit of insomnia uh so I've read a lot of books but two very recently that that stood out to me um one is a book called The Women by Kristen Hanna. Oh I've read that and it's a great story but it talks about women nurses in Vietnam and it it made me realize I know so little about Vietnam we don't talk about it. It's not a world where we say yeah we were the saviors it was a bit of a um you know a false start um and people came home and instead of being celebrated they they they were ostracized and women played a really big role and we don't talk about that. So that was one book and then the other book um you know based on what I do uh for a living is a book called The Other Side of Prospect by uh a local author out of New Haven called uh his name is Nicholas Davidoff I probably am mispronouncing his name but it talks about you know kind of what happened in the city of New Haven and Prospect is actually a street that divides Newhallville sort of from Yale. And if you've ever been in New Haven it's like going from the Wizard of Oz where it's black and white to Yale where it's technicolor. Wow and it talked about there was a whole southern night migration following the Industrial Revolution where where where people came from mainly South Carolina but many states in the South following these jobs in Connecticut I think it was cult manufacturing and others and then the jobs went away and the people were still here and that's why you know New Haven has an an incredible high rate of of criminal activity people who go to jail um and so yet there's this world class university there and these incredible jobs and this brain power and so it was really interesting to me to talk about this particular this you know this trend and what why it is and then you know the story that that kind of went on in in the city of New Haven. So those are two books I really enjoyed.
SPEAKER_01Oh wow I I know read one but i'm gonna read the second one the woman was blew me away you know i really enjoyed that book uh but i'm gonna look at at this one um so another fun question what is your go-to self-care ritual what do you do to give yourself self-love because we all need self-love we all you know grind grind grind a lot of times we don't take enough time to care for ourselves and i'm a big proponent of making sure that if you take care of yourself then you have more to give others so what do you do that that's true um so if anybody knows me i uh i like to exercise um and when i get really busy i can't and that stresses me out but um uh in my younger years i was a big runner i don't do that as much but i try to uh i swim now i still do a little bit of running i bike um i do kind of that that kind of thing so if i go to the gym or if i just take even if it's a half an hour and i don't i don't wear a device i mean i wear a watch that's silenced um and it's just me and my heartbeat and my breathing and my body doing whatever it can I feel refreshed and I remember when I was not even engaged to Michael my husband and we were with my parents and some friends and we were all making dinner and I was like I need to go for a run and my mom said what are you well why is she going for a run and he said but she's so much nicer when she comes back I love that that's awesome that's it's true I mean you if you do something that you love for yourself you are you're better prepared for whatever's gonna come at you you know I think that's a really important uh thing to do um what's one word that you will use to describe the men and the woman of hang time and her time family I love it you should meet I did I did I do I love it and the last one that I'm gonna throw at you is hope is finish the sentence support love friends and family hang time her time that's so amazing so I wanted to um share with you my son um Scotty of course has passed and I am keeping his memory alive partly with the show but I I like to share his poetry and he was uh a young 15 year old when he wrote a lot of his poems but some of them are just so um deep and I try and pick them up that pick out ones that sort of relate to what we're discussing and this one is called uncaged and he says my brain feels condensed my feelings are compressed my body is dense the energy that once surged through me refined me made me me left even though I know what I did was right why it's feeling so wrong I feel like an effing fraud she made me feel safe and warm. I never wanted anyone more when I had her in my arms I felt the highest I've ever been the proudest I've ever been it felt as if I was flying never crying she took away my deepest demons replaced them with her love and affection but she just be giving others the same attention now I ain't saying that's wrong. She's so great I couldn't even imagine keeping her all to myself but she told me she wanted me just me and she had me I thought I had her but obviously we didn't have the same vision I see she whipped my heart with a belt she couldn't control how she felt just like how ice cream melts she taught me so much about myself I couldn't be more glad she felt how she felt I will never be more hot more happy I met her and won't ever forget her. I mean it's just crazy how this kid can oh my gosh write these poems that I thank you for sharing Scotty with me and with all of us oh he's just amazing and um I want to just talk to our listeners a little bit and um thank you for joining us every week and I want to um let you know that you can reach out and support her time and hangtime by going to the website that Michelle is going to repeat one more time.org and you can also um reach out and support SOS stories of survivors by going to SOSradio.live and you can hit the donate button you if you would like to support me and through advertising it's always welcome and thank you so much Michelle for joining us today you are a true warrior and if you guys would like to reach out to her you can reach out to her on mlit at hangtimereal talk.com and you can also follow us on social media too um hangtime and her time and um I wanted to also tell you that next week we're gonna have another amazing episode of SOS Stories of survivors where survival sparks the soul thanks for joining us