Ep. 003 | Transforming Pain Into Purpose

On this episode of Stories of Survivors, host Serina Dansker sits down with Marleny Cruz, Founder of SOS Multi-Media Group, for an inspiring and deeply personal conversation about resilience, reinvention, and purpose. Marleny shares her powerful journey of overcoming adversity, turning challenges into stepping stones, and using her experiences to uplift and empower others. From navigating setbacks to building a media platform dedicated to education, growth, and transformation, her story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit. Tune in to discover how you, too, can transform pain into purpose and create lasting impact.

To learn more about Serina Dansker, purchase her book S.O.S.: A Lesson on Love, Loss, & Survival, book her for a public speaking engagement, and discover more stories of hope, healing, and resilience, visit www.serinadansker.com.

S.O.S. Stories of Survivors — Where Survival Sparks the Soul.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:34

Hi, and welcome to SOS Stories of Survivor. I'm Serena Dansker, your host. It is my absolute honor and privilege to welcome Marlene Cruz today. She is the founder and owner of SOS Radio.live and a beautiful soul. She's going to share with us her journey today. And welcome Marlene.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Thank you. It is an honor for me to be a part of your show. I'm so excited for stories of survivors. I'm so excited for your journey. And it is an absolute pleasure to be here as a guest. It's great.

SPEAKER_03 1:11

I'm it's it's such a wonderful platform so we could talk about things that really matter: our mental health, our courage, everything that we've gone through in our lives, and you have an incredible story to share. And I would just I'd love to have our listeners learn a little bit about your background before we get into your story and where you grew up, and um tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Absolutely. So I was born in the Dominican Republic and raised in Queens. I came to the United States when I was three years old, right? Um, and I was raised by a strong single mom. She is a warrior. She is the one that I get that warrior spirit from, right? Uh so yeah, it was it was really hard growing up because I grew up in a very humble environment. But although it was difficult because I grew up really humbly, it was also very good because it really showed me the value of you know everything I have, the value of hard work, the value of like whatever you put into things, that's what you're gonna get. So I really had a very good foundation to prepare me for what I'm doing today.

SPEAKER_03 2:27

That's incredible. I mean, resilience comes in all different forms, and it's funny because you know, some people they fall down, they wipe the dirt off their knees, they get back up, while others, they just don't have the energy to do that. Is there a pivotal time in your life where you can recall something where you just had to make that decision to get back up? And and um absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

So, what got me into the entrepreneurial world to begin with? Um, I was working for corporate America. I was earning very, very well, but I was not happy. Uh, there were certain things that were happening that weren't fair. I said, enough, I'm not putting up with this anymore. So I made a very difficult decision, right? Um, I decided to venture out on my own as a business owner. Mind you, I've never been in business before, right?

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

So I this is the first time I venture out into business. I don't know what I'm doing, but I had that desire, I had that calling, I had that, you know, kind of the that inner feeling that allows you to kind of be enthused and full of energy. And that seemed to be enough because 15 years later I'm still here, right? That's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

I mean, you are a powerhouse. I mean, I just I marvel and I am so inspired by your journey. Um, so how old were you when you came from the Dominican? Did you study there? Did you study here? What brought you into corporate America and then made you make that pivotal change? You know, I mean, it's just so amazing.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

You want the details, huh? I do. Well, I was three when I came, and at the end of the day, I was so young. Obviously, then I didn't know the difference. But my mom, you know, growing up, I've seen my mom go through a lot. I've seen her as a single mom go through all these difficulties. She had to pay rent on her own. She had to do, you know, she had to take two jobs to even bring us here. So as you grow up and as you mature, you're able to see these sacrifices for what they are, right? They are very, very difficult to do. You know, she made it look pretty, she made it look easy, but now as a single mom that I am, now I'm looking at her like you are you are a mega woman.

SPEAKER_03 5:03

So she so she was your role model. I mean, I I have a very similar situation. My mom was a single mom too. And so that relationship or that that role model that you have in her um really kind of inspired you and molded you to be that fierce, you know, go-getter that you are.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Absolutely. And that coupled with the fact that I did not grow up with my dad. I've seen my dad in my life twice, right? So that coupled with her support, I think allowed me to understand and feel I really need to, you know, tend to myself. I really need to make sure that I, you know, I'm well off and nobody else is gonna do that, only myself, right? That kind of gave me that spirit of I can do it, I'm independent, I'm a warrior, right? Uh, and it's very, very necessary, you know, as I evolve and grow, I see how important that foundation has been. So I don't give up in those difficult times. We're gonna get there, right?

SPEAKER_03 6:08

But yeah, that's that's that's that's really, you know, um, kudos to you because a lot of times growing up without a dad or or as with the single mom, you know, you you do fall into things with self-doubt. Do I have what it takes to be a success? Um, you know, and and you tend to do a little bit of soul searching and and and self-exploration. Did you did you find that there was a period of your life where you had to really discover where your strengths are and your passions where they lied?

SPEAKER_00 6:39

Absolutely. Um, and it's funny because when I started business, I started in a health and wellness industry. I opened a spa in Bloomfield, New Jersey, and you know, I didn't start in media. So not always the path that you choose that you think you want to get into is the path that you end up in, or is the path that you end up being expert or have your superpower in, right? Right. Sometimes life presents you your superpower in very interesting ways, to say the least.

SPEAKER_03 7:16

I I yeah, I and I love the fact that you had a spa because that's all about like self-love and healing, and and so you're promoting that, you know, even when you didn't know your superpower yet.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

Yes. However, the irony of that, right? When you are a giver, right, when you are in the industry of serving others in any which way, you tend to sometimes forget about serving yourself. And for many, many years, I was serving others, I was in the wellness uh industry, which obviously focuses on self-care, but that self-care was external, right? Uh for many, many years, I did not, you know, focus on myself. I I burnt myself out to the point where seven or eight years into my business, I said, I can't do this anymore. I'm tired, I'm drained, I want a change of industry. So that's where my real journey began.

SPEAKER_03 8:23

That's amazing. It's just that you figured that out even just blows me away that you realize that that you you've you've been giving and giving and giving. Um, and yet that was the catalyst for you to start your next phase on your journey. Oh, but wait, there's more.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

Um, there was there was a monkey wrench thrown on the way, right? Because it's really interesting how sometimes life presents you some challenges. And these challenges, at first you look at them and you're like, why me? Right? Um, you question yourself, you question if you're religious, you question God, you question, you know, so many things. However, you know, these things serve us if we allow them to serve us. So let me go back and tell a little bit of of that part of my story. Okay. So I was in business for seven years and I decide to change. I said, I'm tired, you know, I'm drained. Let me see what else is out there. An opportunity presented itself for me, where there was somebody that was selling an ESL school, English as a second language. Okay. And I said, hmm, I'm an educator at heart. I love educating, and why not? Let me see how this goes. So I, as the entrepreneur I am, right? As the risk taker I am, I said, I'm jumping full in. I closed the spa and I moved everything I then had to the institute. So I had an internet radio station that was doing tremendously well. I moved it over. I had a nonprofit organization then called the Young Adult Role Model Academy, and it brought different after-school programs to schools. I brought that over as well. I was doing a lot of public speaking, a lot of MCing, a lot of political events. I was very well known in the community. So I brought everything I had and I said, I'm gonna make this my own, I'm gonna make this my home, and we'll build from there. Little did I know life had a very little surprise for me. Right? So, two years into this practice, here I am, I'm rolling up my sleeves every single day, I'm making it better, I'm changing things, and then COVID happens. Oh gosh, right? Yeah, need I say more? No, oh my gosh. What did you do? Oh so as you may understand, I was a single mom of a then one-year-old, and uh it was just very devastating for me. The business, the main business that was then bringing in uh the the majority of the income was coming from the ESL classes, and these students, you know, this this particular service did not transition well from in-person to virtual.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

Yeah, no, I can imagine.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

And as we know, everything that didn't transition well during the pandemic did not do well. Oh, yeah, no. So the school is closed. I couldn't get into the building, so I couldn't do my shows, I couldn't do the radio station. They shut down the building and everything, everything. I couldn't get in.

SPEAKER_03 12:07

Gosh, right? All right, so now you're bringing out the financial advisor in me because my my past education and my past career was, of course, as a financial advisor. And I'm thinking, all right, but you had to have like six months worth of savings for the rainy day fund, right? Thank God for that.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

Oh, good okay. Thank God for that, and thank God for my family as well that stepped in and helped as well and supported. However, that money is not gonna last forever, right? No, we know that when you're not putting in and you're only taking out, that's not gonna last forever. So the the story uh short, to make a long story short, I was in a pivotal moment where I had to decide, Marlene, what are you gonna do now? You lost everything, you're a single mom, your daughter is one year old. You can't tell your daughter, baby, I don't have for your milk, right? Oh my gosh. So there was a lot of tears, there was a lot of pain, there was just a lot going on. And remind remember during these times, we were all very sensitive, the whole world.

SPEAKER_03 13:22

Oh, yeah, everything was shut down. I mean, it was it was it was a bad time for mental health. Yes, you know, really bad time.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

Absolutely. So one day I was in the shower. I don't know what it is with water, there's something spiritual, right, and holy about it. It is, yes. Um, and I'm in the shower and I happen to hear, I kid you not, I'm not crazy. I happen to hear science of survival.

unknown 13:50

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

And I hear it loud and clear. I hear it as if somebody was right next to me talking. And I'm like, wow, that you know, that took me aback a little bit. I'm like, that's never happened to me before. What's going on? You know? Um, and seconds later, I visualize your some something like your beautiful sign back there, SOS. And I'm like, hmm, science of survival, while everybody's trying to survive. SOS means help. I'm like, there's something here, right? So I took it as a sign, I took it as a divine, you know, intervention, and I worked day and night to create, you know, what you see now.

SPEAKER_03 14:43

Wow. I mean, it's so amazing to me that you were in the shower and you were thinking of uh the SOS came to you, the brand came to you, because I have a little bit of a similar situation. I've of course lost my son Scotty uh by suicide, and I was uh working in a on a retreat where I was doing some writing and narrative healing, and when I was thinking and meditating, to me came the spirit of Scotty as a name, and I said, I'm gonna abbreviate it to SOS because SOS means help, and that's where we need mental health and mental help, and so the spirit of Scotty is my driving force behind the SOS brand for me. It's like it's like Hismet. We were we're meant to be together.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Yes, yes. When I first met you and I heard that the SOS, I was really, I felt a mixture of emotions, so excited, but but in awe. I was in awe. I was like, wow, like how the universe, God, the energy, everything kind of bring us together with a similar vision and a similar purpose. That is really cool.

SPEAKER_03 16:03

And so it's not a coincidence. I mean, I don't believe, I believe that this is meant to be, and it's so amazing, you know. So you've so let's take a step back and let's talk about you've you're dedicating your life basically to helping others heal. I mean, through this brand, through the science of survival, you are really reaching uh listeners and a whole network of people trying to give them the one thing we all need, and that's hope. And can you talk a little bit about um, you know, if you could speak directly to somebody who is listening right now and offer them um, you know, some kind of rope or or a bit of hope. What would you tell them if they're going through tough times or the darkness that we all face? Yeah, wow.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

That's a very deep question. I think. Um and and you are also somebody that can answer that very deeply because you've gone through your own difficulties and challenges. But we all have different ways of reacting to things. We all have our different strong points and our different weak points. So the number one thing that I would say, know thyself, right? That old saying, know yourself. Know what are the things that are not the greatest for you and how you handle those, right? How you handle stress, how you handle pain, and why is it important? One of the things that kept me going is the fact that I knew myself. I knew I knew what are the things that I could do to get me away from the negative thinking, to get me away from the giving up, to get me away from those times where sometimes the mind and the brain takes over, right? Or or it could be the other way around, your emotions can take over, right? So that's that's one of the the number one thing, know yourself, right?

SPEAKER_03 18:16

I think that's so important. I I think that's really, really true. You know, you really need to know who you are and and what you're capable of, you know.

SPEAKER_00 18:25

Yeah, and sometimes you don't know what you're capable of, but you if you know your weaknesses and your strengths now as it stands, and you have another very important thing to remember this too shall pass. Right? Yes, this too shall pass.

SPEAKER_03 18:44

We forget that, you know. I mean, it's you're going in it, you're in the midst of it, and you're so close to the tree that you don't even see the forest behind it, you know. I find that I I believe with all of my heart and soul that if we could just put into perspective what we're going through and try and say, in five years from now, what kind of impact is this gonna have on my life? You know, and and not sweat the small stuff as much. But it's it's hard to do because I think we're all trained to do that.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

Yeah, yeah. It's definitely easier said than done, right? We don't want to make this sound like, oh, it's a walk in the park. No, there's pain, there's difficulty, there's uncomfortable, this uncomfortable feeling, there's challenges, right? Different things are gonna come up. You're gonna have good days, you're gonna have very bad days, you're gonna have days where you know you are right in the middle. However, yeah, in in order for you to stay on track, you need to have a vision and a purpose. You need to know your why, right? Yeah, for you, your why is keeping that that spirit of Scotty alive, yes, right? Keeping keeping that kind of beautiful, you know, soul of his alive and being able to help other people that are going through similar things or or different things, but you know, challenges.

SPEAKER_03 20:15

Yes, sharing, sharing your journey. I I mean, I I'm keeping Scott Spirit alive, but it's also very healing for me to share my story and to talk about what I've gone through. And as I as I know it is for you to talk about your, you know, your hardships too. I mean, losing everything, having a child, I mean, those are some pretty tough times. And then to go full on and and pour your heart and soul into a new project, one that you're not, you know, so familiar with, but yet determined and showing that perseverance and that determination, it just it makes you shine. And what you're building, the brand you're building, I mean, I just felt the love and the hope and just the platform itself. It's incredible, Marlene. I mean, really.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

Thank you. Thank you. And uh, one of the other points that I really want to make, and thank you for bringing that up, is when you understand and you know the the why of why you're doing things, that why should be your North Star. That why should be the one that brings you back in those terrible days when you're like, I want to give up. That's it. This is too much, right? Because trust me, I've had those days, right? We've all had those days where oh my god, I that's it. If one more thing happens, right?

SPEAKER_03 21:51

Oh, for sure. Those days happen all the time, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

Yeah. So when you have your why very

SPEAKER_02 22:06

That's my why, my mother. You're the only one that can interrupt me.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Yeah, absolutely. So when you have that why clear in your mind, you have clarity of where you want to go and why you want to go where you want to go. That's the clarity that have allowed me to keep moving, to keep forward, to, you know, and I want to I want to take a step back and acknowledge that pain is an important factor in the human being's life.

unknown 22:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

Right? We don't like to feel pain. We don't want to feel pain. It is not nice. It is not pretty. However, pain exists for a reason. It's like a signal where Marlene, wake up. There's something that you need to do. There's something wrong. There's something needs to turn.

SPEAKER_03 23:05

Turning pain into purpose, right? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

Oh, I love that. Right. How can you turn me into purpose? Pain is telling you. Right. Yeah. Right. So when you are in the mud, and I'm speaking to everybody out there that is going through a difficult time, that is feeling the pain of whatever situation you're going through, right? Take a moment to feel it. Take a moment to actually be present with the pain. And why do I say that? There's no other way than through. There's no other way. If you go around it, underneath it, over it, you try to jump it, you you know, teletransport away from it, it's going to find you in some way, shape, or form. It's hiding somewhere in your body and in your mind. Right? And if it hides in your body, it's gonna come out, it could come out as a disease, as a health problem, as a however it expresses itself, if you don't give it space.

SPEAKER_03 24:16

Yes, that's just so important is giving it space. Wow. I mean, that that's one of the things I've learned through my grief. It's like, you know, people don't always know how to approach you. They want to help you, they want to be there for you. But you know, they always say, Oh, there's no words, or I'm so sorry. And and though it's beautiful that they care and they're doing that, but what you really need sometimes is you just need you need someone to just hug you or just hold space for you and just sit next to you while you absorb that pain and you kind of process it and you let your body kind of move it out and and heal from that pain because what whatever form that pain is, whether it's a wound on the outside or a wound on the inside, it takes time to heal.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

Absolutely, and everyone heals differently. Yes, I cannot say, listen, this is the cookie cutter way. There is no cookie cutter way, right? Uh, some people want to move away from the crowd, some people want to be left alone, some people should not be left alone, some people, you know, so it depends. That's where you should know yourself comes into play, right? However, you you you did mention a very good point where not everybody knows how to hold space for other people. No, we're not really trained in society to really learn how to hold space for people. You never know what people may be going through because they may they may be hiding it because they don't want to bother somebody else or they don't want to, you know, put any pressure, or they don't want to hear, I told you so. Well, yeah. Right. So it's important as well for us to, you know, when we're talking about how to help other people when they're in the mud, just sometimes be there and just sometimes say nothing, just like I'm here.

SPEAKER_03 26:15

That is that is sometimes just enough. It's just the right thing, you know, as you struggle and you get through things. I mean, just knowing that there is someone out there helping you carry the burden that you're carrying or cares enough to just be a sounding board for you. You don't need them to solve your problems, you know. Sometimes just sharing that space with you at that moment is enough, you know.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

Absolutely. Sometimes that's more than enough. Sometimes uh when you ask for somebody's opinion or when somebody gives you their opinion when you didn't ask for it, sometimes that happens, right? Um, I want people to remember that an opinion, what is an opinion? An opinion is the result or the conclusion that somebody came up with based on their past experience, based on their present uh reality, and based on their projected future, right? So you connect these three things just because you went through something in the past that shaped you and your experience, that doesn't mean that that necessarily has to be my experience, right?

SPEAKER_03 27:33

You're in control of your, you know, you you can't always control your outside surroundings, you can only control your reaction to those things.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

Yes, absolutely, and you bring me to a great point, right? Thank you. Um, your reaction that's something very important, too. Going back to that point where I was thinking when I was talking about feeling the pain, that's part of the reason why you want to give some space to that pain because it will allow you to evaluate the situation a little better, a little more realistic, if you will. Being present with the pain at this moment and telling yourself, okay, pain, I feel you, I know you're here. I'm gonna allow you some space and time. But then you gotta go.

SPEAKER_03 28:31

That is the key because too many of us say, oh, they we self-sabotage. We just yeah, we just beat ourselves up when we're in that state of mind. Yeah, you know, it's like, oh, I'm the worst mom, or oh, I'm the worst employee. I didn't hit my goals this month, you know, or or whatever, you know, I I did something wrong, you know, and we're so quick to to um put ourselves down that it it just you know it that is such a great point. Could you say that again, please?

SPEAKER_00 29:06

Absolutely, and I would even go further, right? Good into saying that when you have something that you're going through and you give it that space, you create this this energy, if you will, you're giving it that space, and then you say, Okay, I'm ready to move on. What that allows you to do is say, Okay, I gave you time. Now I can't stay there forever. I have to keep moving. Life continues, and if I allow myself to be in this space, I'm destroying myself, and therefore, I'm also destroying the possible vision and the possible things that I can do to help other people through my experience. Right unbelievable, yes, yes, yes. So then you I know you know what I'm talking about firsthand, right? So for those watching, you know, give yourself that time, have some time with self, have some introspective time, looking deep within your soul. Sometimes we're afraid of that, yeah, right. But who can look deep in you other than you?

SPEAKER_03 30:19

Nobody else can, which which lets me, you know, I have a really kind of good question that like, you know, when we think back to our younger selves and who we were, and um, you know, the youth we were, yeah, what would you tell the younger version of yourself, let's say the teenager or the girl struggling through, you know, trying to find friends or moving or you know, not having English as her first language? You know, there's all sorts of struggles that you go through and you have insecurities. If you could go back in time now and find that that that girl, that impressionable, beautiful soul that was you back then, what would you tell her?

SPEAKER_00 31:05

What piece of the thing? I love this question. And last time when you asked me this question, I got very emotional because I would not tell her a single thing. I learned from her, right? I have a very, I had a very beautiful epiphany not too long ago. And I was looking in the mirror, I think I was here in the office, and I really with tears in my eyes, I looked in the mirror and I said, Marlene, thank you. Thank you, Marlene, because even though you're not perfect, even though you made your mistakes, even though you had, you know, you were feeling insecure, you were feeling this and that in a younger self, in a younger version. If it wasn't because of you, younger Marlene, I would not be here today. Amen, girl. Amen. Yeah, you know, um, and and I'm looking back and looking at that younger self and looking at like an energetic girl that did not know anything about business, but she's brave, right? She's she's a go-getter, she's happy, she's enthused, she's full of life and energy. Yes, right. Um, and she does not allow any of the negativity around her to stop her. That's a badass girl. Yeah, it is, right? So so I'm looking at her and I'm like, you go, girl, thank you. You know, I learn from her, and I go back to that first day, Serena. I go back to that first day as my younger self that I was in business, the first day in business more than 15 years ago. I remember I was walking down a street. I lived in New York and traveled to New Jersey. Okay, um, so many hours back and forth. And I was walking down the street as I close my eyes, I'm like feeling her. And I'm listening, I have my headphones on, and I'm listening to one of my favorite songs, and I'm feeling so good. I said, Wow, I'm I'm a new business owner. I'm gonna like the world is gonna be mine, kind of energy.

SPEAKER_03 33:18

That is right, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:20

Yeah, and and I really with tears in my eyes, I was thinking that Marlene. Because that Marlene had a lot of people telling her, don't do it, you're not good enough, you're not gonna succeed, you don't have experience, even people that didn't wish me wrong, even people that wished me the best thing, but they didn't know any better.

SPEAKER_03 33:43

No, and and they think they're doing right, but you know, they're they're you know, they're the naysayers, the negativity of feeding our own insecurities, right?

SPEAKER_00 33:54

And that Marlene closed her eyes and her ears to all of that negativity and continue forward. So, if anything, I am learning from her still.

SPEAKER_03 34:06

That is so incredible, so impactful. I mean, I I hope the young people that are listening today really get inspired by that because it's so true. You know, when you have that little bit of fire under you, you know, I have a friend that has got a really important saying, and he's like, you know, can't is a lie. You can do anything, you may not want to, but you just have to try.

SPEAKER_00 34:36

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And even the word impossible, I know we've heard that, right? Oh, sure, impossible says I'm possible, right? I'm possible now. When I speak to younger crowds, the first thing I say to them is, how bad do you want it? Yes, how bad do you want what you want? How bad do you want to be a force for good? How bad do you want to be an entrepreneur? How bad do you want to change life and change your life and others? How bad do you want it? That's right. Because at the end of the day, there's so many challenges and difficulties that are gonna come in your way. There's so many rocks that are gonna come right in front of you. You can you're gonna trip over one, you're gonna, there's so much. And if you are not strong in your why, oh yeah, you'll give up.

SPEAKER_03 35:32

Well, that's the thing. I mean, look, take it from you. You are a single mom, uh an entrepreneur, an owner of uh a huge uh radio station, magazine, um, just a streaming service. You are a force to be reckoned with. How do you juggle everything? I mean, you know, I'm sure you have a couple of obstacles in your way.

SPEAKER_00 35:57

A couple of them. Um that's a good question, right? Uh, and I will answer it in a few ways and I'll explain why. Okay. Uh, immediately my response to that question when you ask me, uh, my immediate response is I have no idea. Okay. I'm sure. I have no idea how I do it. I have no idea how I've survived. But uh, the reality of matter is that I do have an idea. There's a system and a structure. And what that is, is knowing and understanding my why, where I'm going. My why is so strong. My why, you know, there's a saying out there, and I know I'm gonna butcher it. Um, if your why is strong enough, it would withhold anyhow. Anything, anything that could come, you know, by it. You will overcome it if your why is strong enough.

SPEAKER_02 36:59

Wow. Right?

SPEAKER_00 37:01

Um, yeah, yeah. And another is prioritizing, right? Um, when you're a mom, as you very well know, uh, your kids become your priority. Your kids are first. Uh, of course, I understand that. Put your mask on and then, right? Yes. But after you put your mask on, your first response is for your children. Yeah. That changes things, right? That changes the order in which things are. Oh, yeah. Um, so prioritizing, knowing what's important, knowing your why, which therefore would allow you to know how to prioritize. And sometimes, to be honest with you, sometimes while you are on the way to your destiny or your destination, you are going to have a period of time where there is a lot of chaos and a lot of you know disbalance for a short period of time, as long as that is not forever. But that's when you ask for help, right? Right, absolutely. So I always say there's people that can handle a lot more than others. There's people that can handle different ways. So knowing how much you can handle, right? Yeah, I already know when I'm hitting that point where okay, Marlene, you are not superwoman. Calm down, take take two steps backwards for a minute, right? Um, but for the most part, I can handle a lot.

SPEAKER_03 38:43

And and and because you can handle a lot, people expect a lot from you. Do you do you notice that?

SPEAKER_00 38:49

Oh my god, thank you for bringing that. It's like you're bringing my mind. Get out of my mind. Great minds, think alike, you know. One of the biggest mistakes that people often make, you know, and I'm and I'm saying this begging people, please. When you have a strong person or someone that, you know, seems to be strong from the outside, also check in on them. Don't go by, oh, she's strong, or he's strong, he's got it, or she's got it. Strong people need help too, you know.

SPEAKER_03 39:27

Yes, right?

SPEAKER_00 39:29

Um, some sometimes we need for you for somebody to help us carry that weight. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 39:36

Oh, God.

SPEAKER_00 39:36

So check in on people, you know, on everybody. But it's oftentimes we say, Oh, you know, they're strong enough. No, sometimes they have their weak moments too.

SPEAKER_03 39:48

And it's yes, and it's important that you you just check in and you hold space for even people that are that are strong, it's true, or you offer to help, you know, and they may say, Oh, no, no, I'm fine, but you know, it's I do all the time. You know, it's it's it's really it's incredible to know when you have people there that you have to have a community because it's it's you can't really do it alone. I I've noticed that, you know, and you don't always have all the answers. And sometimes it's just nice to to talk and just to communicate with someone who's who may have been through it.

SPEAKER_00 40:27

Yes, absolutely. Now, you know, on that same note, it is very important for us also to keep the right people uh close by. Yes, that does not mean that you have to ignore people, that does not mean that you have to cut people off your life, right? However, boundaries, healthy boundaries, very important, yes, especially when you're healing, right? Because when you are going through a difficult time, you're very vulnerable, yes, right, you're very open and vulnerable whether you see it or not. So the people that you have around you will influence you in a very deep way.

SPEAKER_03 41:11

Oh boy, you are hitting the nail on the head with that one, you know.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

Absolutely, and and for me, I didn't have a lot of people around me. I've always been a loner, to be honest with you, right? I've I'm it's funny because some people think that I'm an extrovert. I'm actually an introvert. No way, yes, I am, yeah. So I I recharge alone, I don't recharge in in a big crowd, however, my superpower happens to be with the crowd, right? Uh it's a it's a very interesting kind of energy and synergy. However, that also goes back to knowing myself. If I know that I recharge alone, then that means that I need to take some time to introspect, that I need to take some time to spend alone and think and ponder and understand, right? And analyze what's going on. Um, I'm very analytical, so I already know that that's how I react, and therefore I allow myself that space. That is so important. Now I have this thing where I say, build your own sacred space. And what do I mean by that? For me, for example, I am a wine lover, right? And I I love music and I love scents, I love perfume, right? So if I know that about myself, those moments where I'm sad, those moments where I'm down, those moments where I'm depressed, or those moments where I go to my sacred space, I put on some music, right? I put a candle light, I I get myself in a happy mode or in a tranquil mode with tranquility, or it's interruption of pattern. Yes, I'm interrupting the pattern that is not serving me to go towards a different pattern that I know will change that vibration.

SPEAKER_03 43:26

That is amazing advice. I mean, that is that that's beautiful. I mean, really, Marlene. Thank you. Oh my gosh. I it reminds me when I used to be in my last career when I'd have a really tough day, the stock markets were down, clients were flipping out. I would come home and I would turn on some music, I would pour myself a bath, a glass of wine, and I would just get in there and just soak away the day. And just by changing that vibration, that energy for me, I was able to emerge from.

SPEAKER_00 44:00

that on a much better even keel where I can handle whatever was coming at me you know it's so true really wow so what are your what are your go-tos you know for self-love and and do you know what what it what do you do you know do you go on vacations do you go to the spa what do you do for self-love now you shopping well that's what I'm asking you know that I've shared this with you I I actually uh recognize that I do need more work in that area I I recognize that I do need more self-care and self-love and spending more time with self um however I have my little things that I do and shopping is definitely one of them right uh it is very important and there's a difference between using something as a vice and using something as a as an interrupter of a bad energy or frequency right you have to have you have to be able to have self-control to know when to stop because there are people that are shopaholics and if you and and they go into into shopping too much when they're depressed that are people that are alcoholics that are people that are you know there's so many different ways in moderation right everything in moderation so I always say that the shopping is not bad in and out of itself is how you're doing it. Yeah the wine is not bad in and out of itself is how you're using it right the all these things that could become addictive if you don't control yourself.

SPEAKER_03 45:50

So the key here is moderation and self-control right right yeah so when I know that I'm a little oh this is this is one thing that I want to share uh because I love to shop okay this is this is my my um my vibe well not vice but your guilty pleasure my guilty pleasure thank you that's what I was looking for so what I've learned to do do you know those people that window shop yes that's me even if I am uh in the store or I'm doing it virtual I first put it in my cart and then I decide okay do I really need this do I want it can I excuse myself from getting it this time okay maybe this time right so smart so smart because we're you know the internet is tries to get us to be impulsive yes and you know just like they have those things at the stores the impulse buys and a lot of people fall for that I mean I'm guilty of it myself oh I like that dress you know do I really need that dress no you know so I do what you do I stick it in the cart and then I leave the side and I go away and if it doesn't draw me back I don't buy it right it has to wow me yes I I'm like thinking about it I can't do without it it has to wow me and if it doesn't wow me then I'm not getting it exactly exactly so funny yeah I think uh for Lent this year I'm giving up online shopping how to get to bed there you go and you're saying something so critical every word that you're saying is leading me to the very next important thing that I want to say so thank you um but online that's something that we also have to learn how to disconnect from yeah disconnect yourself I will share with you what happened to me during COVID so remember I lost everything I was really depressed right I was already nervous I was anxious my heart was beating fast okay so I found myself going on a back and forth and an argument back and forth on social media um about somebody that posted something racial racist and I said you know I looked at this and looked how I was reacting and my heart was beating fast I was nervous I was waiting for the response so I can respond I said wait a minute Marlene what are you accomplishing from this you're making yourself nervous right and anxious you're not gonna change anything you're not gonna change that person's perspective so what are we doing here we're wasting time and energy right so I have to catch myself right um and that's where I decided to disconnect and that's after I disconnected that's when that message in the shower came look how powerful that is wow right that's amazing when you disconnect from the external environment you are able to connect from the to the spiritual and internal environment wow that that's really powerful because it's true you know the outside forces they they block you you know there are they're they're blockers they're energy blockers you have energy blockers energy suckers too yes you know where people suck the life out of you you know and deplete you allow them yeah yeah absolutely so today's social media world uh keeps us busy uh keeps us we're not focused we're all over the place we are very you know I'm talking generally speaking right we're very superficial today we're looking at only the looks and we're not we need to back off from there and disconnect for a minute to be able to connect to our true authentic self absolute and from that space from the space of your true authentic self now you can connect yes right and I know that you I know that you follow me on that one I know oh I do I 100% girl 100% it's it's you know it's so important you know you have to you have to set your boundaries you know it and I think that you know wherever you are in your journey and you know whatever you're going through you know there's it ebbs and flows you know that's that's what life is it's a journey and it's not always gonna you know be wine and roses you know there's a lot of times where you're gonna have some serious issues that you have to deal with and and overcome and and and life lessons and I just think that it's a testament to your resilience and your human spirit showing um what you're made of Marlene I mean it just it just it it warms my heart to see how you're you handle things and how successful you are thank you well it takes one to know one right thank you that that means a lot to me especially uh coming from you somebody that has gone through very difficult things too and have taken that and made so much good out of it and at the end of the day that's what it's about right that's right I mean no matter how dark the road may seem there's always a way to move forward you know it's sometimes we do we we just have to keep believing keep fighting fighting that good fight you know and and you know filling each other's buckets with love you know I think I think it's so important you know yes yes and and knowing that you are important you matter right yeah there's a reason there is a reason why nobody that ever lived nobody that's ever living now and nobody that will ever live in the future has your fingerprints for sure can you understand like that's deep it's so crazy right that's so deep nobody that lived is living or will ever live has your not even identical twins right they don't even have the same thing I don't so that tells you you are unique you are important you are different you are here for a purpose and no one else can do what you are supposed to do here on earth nobody else can do it for you nope that's for sure right that's so true oh my gosh so many amazing things but you're bringing me to a point where I need to share one of my son Scotty's poems and it's funny because the poem I chose to share is called unique you know the spirit of Scotty is around I know he's just he's here it's so crazy but I'm gonna share this with you it says uh everybody is different no one is the same then why do I treat people plain I don't take the time to listen to them complain I just pretend I understand their pain I don't talk I just take charge assume no place for them to walk I thought I treated everyone differently especially those who I loved but I rise no one above I keep those I know behind a gate the gate I can't escape the gate I can't shake the gate that won't let me be my own shape I asked myself when was the last time you were true and didn't move so fast I tell myself to slow down keep your head down I cover myself in confidence so others won't see the true me I showered myself in all these pickup lines and lies I don't even know if the real me is still alive.

SPEAKER_00 54:18

It's very powerful because you know I was in a conversation with somebody recently and we were talking about how important it is for for other people for you not to place other people in a pedestal because when you do you have a stagnant image of somebody and we are not stagnant we are moving changing evolving growing shifting so when some if somebody puts you in a pedestal that is their perception of you and oftentimes it's not our perception so it puts pressure on other people right not to be able to be unique but now I have to be who you envision me to be that's so true that it's true you know yeah it's it's you know it's interesting um you know when people put you up here you almost feel like you have to try yeah live up to their goals I mean it's it's so true you know and and and meanwhile if you're just true to yourself you shine you're beautiful I mean Marlene I cannot even thank you enough for sharing your light and shining it down on us because your story is so inspirational.

SPEAKER_03 55:32

Thank you oh my God I've learned so much and I just feel empowered just being in your presence I really do it's just it's so awesome thank you I I I I I love having you on the show and um I just I want to ask you one last question. What should our listeners know about what's next for SOS and for Marlene Cruz and and how can they reach you if they want to and um let us that's a great question.

SPEAKER_00 56:05

SOS I call it a a living and breathing organism because it's alive is expanding is changing is growing we have under SOS umbrella SOS radio live SOS podcast SOS magazine we're relaunching um sometime this year SOS uh TV network SOS Institute there's so many aspects of of what we're doing that is ever growing ever evolving SOS community is another one so I will invite people to visit our platforms if you're listening to the show you're already on one of them SOSradio.live and take a look at our content take a look at our purpose and know that every person that is a part of the SOS family like you are Serena is here for you know working for the better good of humanity is here creating content with the best you know in mind for people so I I always want people to leave with that you can check out our social media sosradio.live and you'll be able to find uh all our information there if you want to reach out to me Marlene Cruz uh I'm with my name Marlene Cruz on all the social media platforms.

SPEAKER_03 57:28

That's so awesome thank you and thank you to our listeners for tuning in today uh this was one of our amazing episodes next week's gonna be even uh another amazing episode if you like the show please share it if you like you can go on to uh soradio.live on to SOS stories of survivors and you can hit the donate button if you want to support me um I'm just so excited to be here and share this platform with everyone thank you all and this is where survival sparks the soul