So today we're talking about one of the biggest lies reactive dog owners tell themselves, and that is I'm failing my dog. Honestly, I don't think I've ever worked with a reactive dog owner who hasn't said those words to me, and it usually comes through tears or after a bad walk, or usually while really over apologizing to me for apologizing. And I completely understand why, because when you own a reactive dog, it can feel like everyone else's dog got the instruction manual, but yours arrived with half the pages missing. Now, there's this thing called the comparison trap, and I genuinely think social media has made this ten times worse. You open Instagram or TikTok or Facebook, and there's someone there having a picnic with their golden retriever. Someone else's dog is maybe balancing a biscuit on its nose whilst wearing matching pajamas. Meanwhile, your dog has just barked at a wheelie bin because apparently today's the day wheelie bins became terrifying and shouldn't be there. And you and you sat there thinking, like, what am I doing wrong? And the answer is probably nothing. It's just that your dog isn't that Labrador that you saw on social media. You know, success looks very different for different people and also different dogs. And I think one of the biggest problems is that we've all been sold the same picture of success. A dog that walks perfectly to heel through a busy town centre, they never bark, they never fall, they never react, they come back the first time, they love every dog, they love every person, sits politely in cafes, particularly a furry little robot. And then, like, reactive dog owners are judging themselves against that and what social media is portraying in that 20 to 30-second clip. But here's the thing like, that isn't the goal for every dog. I think we can very easily judge ourselves by other people's highlight reels. And I'll I'll always laugh because someone might message me saying, Claire, I saw this trainer online and the dogs are amazing. Yeah, because they probably filmed the amazing bit. Like you didn't see the 17 takes beforehand or where the bit where maybe the dog nicked off the sandwich. You know, social media is a highlights reel, whereas dog ownership is not. And you know what's funny? Active dog owner how their walk went, and they tell you about the one reaction, not the other 45 minutes, like you you could have had 20 brilliant check-ins, passed five dogs beautifully, walked past the cyclist, managed a squirrel, um, maybe a spaniel appears from nowhere, and your dog reacts, and then suddenly the whole walk was awful. No, no. Five seconds was awful. The rest of it was actually pretty good. You know, I I always find it ironic that reactive dog owners feel like they're failing when actually they're probably putting more effort into their dog than the average owner ever has. You bought the books, you're watching the YouTube videos, you're listening to the podcast, joining webinars, spending endless amounts of money on trainers, changing your routines, changing or not even going on holiday, changing the hours that you walk, bought 17 different leads because apparently this one was gonna solve everything. Spoiler, it didn't. And then comes the guilt. And you feel guilty because your dog reacted in that five seconds. You feel guilty because you then started to get frustrated with them. Or you felt guilty because you tell yourself that you should have spotted the trigger earlier. And honestly, reactive dog owners would apologize to a tree if they accidentally looked at it the wrong way. So here's something I'd really love you to start asking yourself. Instead of what did my dog do wrong today, or what did I do wrong today, ask yourself, what did we do well? Because when you start to gather a list of all the good things that have happened, that's where your confidence starts growing. Maybe your dog recovered quicker. Maybe they looked back at you every single time they saw a trigger. Maybe they chose engaging uh engagement with you and food. Maybe they disengaged, maybe they reacted, but they recovered a lot quicker than they did the previous time. And that's progress because it all counts. So the moral of the story today is I don't think you're failing your dog at all. I think you're judging yourself against completely unrealistic expectations. Your dog doesn't need all of that fancy stuff that social media portrays. They just need someone to keep showing up and supporting them. Someone who wants to understand them, someone who's willing to learn the depths of their body language and their communications and their feelings. And if you're listening to this podcast, I'm gonna bank money on the fact that that's already you. So if today's episode hit a little close to home, I'd love to help you to build that confidence even further. The Reactive Dog Reset Challenge opens very soon, and if you'd like early access, exclusive training, and the best available price, you can join the Reactive Dog Reset Insiders List through the link in the description below. And if you've enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe because next week I want to be talking about the hidden grief of owning a reactive dog, another part of this journey that just doesn't get talked about nearly enough.