Your Dog Doesn't Need Fixing: A Different Conversation About Reactivity with Kate Gallagher

If you've ever felt exhausted, embarrassed, frustrated, guilty, or completely alone because of your dog's behaviour, this episode is for you.

When people talk about reactive dogs, the conversation usually focuses on training techniques, behaviour modification plans, and managing triggers.

But, what about the human at the other end of the lead?

In this episode, I sit down with dog trainer Kate Gallagher to explore the emotional reality of living with a reactive dog. We discuss the guilt that comes from feeling judged by others, the grief of letting go of the life you imagined with your dog, the resentment many owners experience but rarely admit out loud, and the way confidence can slowly erode when every walk feels like a challenge.

Together, we explore why so many owners become trapped in a cycle of fear and desperation, often reaching for harsher tools and stricter methods simply because they want to feel safe and in control again.

We also discuss:

• Why owner psychology is one of the most overlooked aspects of reactive dog training
• How societal pressure can make both you and your dog more stressed
• The importance of asking, "Is this for me or my dog?"
• Why behaviour is communication, not a problem to be fixed
• How reducing pressure can transform both confidence and behaviour
• The role of consent, autonomy, and safety in rehabilitation
• Why success isn't a perfectly behaved dog
• How to become your dog's safe place in an overwhelming world

Whether you're currently struggling with your dog's behaviour or simply want a different perspective on reactivity, this conversation offers reassurance, compassion, and practical ways to move forward.

Because sometimes the biggest breakthrough doesn't happen when we change the dog.

It happens when we change the way we see them.

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Connect with Kate Gallagher

Website:
https://thefaithfuldogtrainer.co.uk

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/thefaithfuldogtrainer

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/thefaithfuldogtrainer

If this episode resonated with you, we'd love to hear from you and don't forget to subscribe to the channel to get the latest episodes as they release 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Right, everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Reactive Dog Training Podcast. I am joined today by Kate Gallagher. How are you doing, Kate?

SPEAKER_02 0:09

I'm good, thank you. How are you?

SPEAKER_01 0:11

I'm very well, thank you. Um, do you want to start by telling us um a little bit about yourself and how you came to work with reactive dogs?

SPEAKER_02 0:17

Um, so my name's Kate, um, and I am the faithful dog trainer up in Wigan in the North. Um, and I've only been a dog trainer for about two years, maybe a little bit more. Uh, before that I was a nurse, um, but I came to working with reactive dogs um because I was kind of going out when I was training uh to be a dog trainer with uh a physio. So I was going out and seeing so many um instances of pain-related reactivity, so I kind of went that way first, um, and then I sort of just ended up steering into most of my cases with reactivity, and that was really what um I enjoyed doing more than loose lead recall. I do um assistance dog training, but I only have one client at a time. I like to see them through for the public access test, and then I've got to wait until they'll take someone else on then. Um, but my my most uh most of my work is reactivity, and I actually think that's because of the people, um, and because of the caregivers, owners, handlers, whatever you want to call them. Um and and I think that's why I'm so passionate about it, is because people need um educating, uh, nurturing, loving, being accepted. Um, and sometimes it's that confidence build um of the owner, and that that's how I ended up with reactivity, really. Yeah, great. So you like a challenge then?

SPEAKER_01 2:04

Yeah, let's face it, it's it's a challenge, isn't it? It's not like you say, it's not like just lead walking, which is like Bish Bash Bosh.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

Yeah, we're actually going into a more complex um and every single reactivity case is different. Um, I seemed to get at one point I seemed to get loads of adolescent males barrier frustration, not reactivity, and I was like, right, okay. And I was honestly thinking, do I create an adolescent program? Because this all we had to do was sort out needs met, needs met, needs met, um, outlets, outlets, uh, and just doing a bit of training on impulse control, self-regulation, and they were done. Um, but I do I do still take the the frustration on really because it's still reactivity and it can still transform into that redirection. Um, I had it with my my own dog, um, Lucy. She's uh Labrador and uh work in Labrador, so I took her to a gundog training, and um she waits on the pet beautifully if there's three or four dogs. Uh and then we went to one session where they put all the classes together. We'll have a trip out to the woods, and there was 10, and she had to wait too long. So she was noisy, and I'm saying it's okay, come on, let's, you know, you can do this. And she told me multiple times and I didn't listen. And so she redirected and she she bit my hand, and I was like, Oh, yeah, you did tell me multiple times, and I didn't listen. We've all read, yeah. I was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, that was totally my fault. Like so, even that adolescence can, you know, but yeah, some are quite challenging, aren't they? And and some it's just um learnt history or an F a previous evidence or trauma response from the human, and it's working through that and building relationship and confidence again.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

Yeah, and I love that you picked up on that human element because I think like that's what we want to talk about today is like this emotional, this emotional side to the reactivity and the human psychology side of stuff as well. Um, which brings me on nicely to my next question. Why do you think the human side of dog behaviour is so often overlooked?

SPEAKER_02 4:35

Oh, I think when someone says a dog trainer or dog behaviour is they no one sees what's around the dog. They see a dog and they look at a case study of a dog and well, what's happening in the dog's life and what's happening in it. They don't tend to look at that bigger picture of the the caregivers, the owners, um, what's going on in their life, what has happened, um, what was your previous dog like? Um, and I think it's just so overlooked because I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, this was probably the same for you, Claire, is uh you were all peopled out, so you went into dog the dog world because you wanted to work with dogs and animals, and um I think sometimes people don't realise how much of it is actually educating humans more than training dogs. Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

Yeah, yeah, you definitely have to um, like you say, you start thinking, yeah, we're just gonna work with the dogs, it's gonna be great. And I don't know about you, I started dog walking and I would literally spend all my time with the dogs, which was great. And then as you moved into that training, it's like, oh, hang on a minute. Yeah, these social skills are needed now to help the human as well. Um what do you think some of the biggest emotional challenges are that reactive dog owners face?

SPEAKER_02 6:02

Uh guilt, judgment, sadness, grief for a for a life that they thought they'd have with the dog. Um you know, resentment, even there's so many, but but then as well as all that, so much love for this dog. I know my assistant Jess, her dog, there's very few people who see him in his wonderful moments because he's so people reactive, bite history, um, so stressed when people are in the home. So she has a real sadness for the Milo that no one sees and that she loves and enjoys so much. But there's so much, there's so many emotions tied to it. There really is.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

Yeah, no, I can completely agree with that. And and the resentment one, I don't think, comes up a lot because I think people are scared to talk about it because they don't want it being perceived as like, oh my god, this person hates their dog. Like, why do they have the dog? You know, all these judgments that come in. So I think that's a really good one. Um, and I guess as a part of that, we then see a lack of confidence in the handler because of all of this stuff that they're feeling. Why do you think so many people lose confidence during that reactive dog journey? And like, how can they start rebuilding it?

SPEAKER_02 7:38

So, in two parts, really, I think they lose that confidence due to being scared, um, seeing your dog in a really different light. Um, you know, that's not the dog I have at home and the dog that I really trust, or it, you know, that's you just see a different side to your dog that you that scurs you, and I think you lose confidence. Um but I think I think this, and I'm veering off a little bit. I think this is where people go for control to feel safe. So we don't control dogs, the faithful family. We don't work on controlling dogs. We like consent, we like autonomy, and we like um saying safety. So I do a lot of work up at um with rescue centres up at Carnel Lane, um, and we have to have slip leads, we have to, um, for the dogs. But I said to them, stop using only slip leads. If there is your backup for safety, not we're not controlling them, still get them used to harnesses leads. Um, but I think this is where that that fear of I was scared, now I've got this fear in me. I'm gonna use something so I feel more in control, and I think that that's where your fallout starts coming with your relationship because people think you have to walk your dog every day, three times a day, you know, on the pavement, pounding. Um, and that's what you have to do. So, in order to do that, I'm gonna use something um to help control my dog, whether that's a slit lead, a prung collar, an e-collar, a bark collar, uh whole tape, you know, and it's that um desperation, isn't it? And I suppose it's being accepted in society. If you have a dog, you have to walk it. Um, you know, I've got a friend who who has 18 dogs, so she doesn't walk them. They don't have leads, she has quite a big property, and they just mill about, and that's you know, they're they're life and they're happy. Um, but yeah, where where do you then go for rebuilding it? Um the faithful dog trainer. A good answer. I will have to be.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

We'll come to that later, okay.

SPEAKER_02 10:06

But um rebuilding a relationship in stripping it all back, no pressure. I've just done this with uh um uh these sisters who've got this lovely dog, um and they've got a previous history of a reactive dog. They've now got a lovely, happy go-lucky puppy, but they are very worried of the reac of what could happen. Um, so we just took all pressure off, no walks for two weeks, secure fields only, loads of ace-free work, um, just take the pressure off yourself. It I know always think ask the question for who? You know, who are you doing this for? Is it to look like one of the you know neighbors walking your dog every day? Or or is it for your dog, like you and your relationship?

SPEAKER_01 11:03

Yeah, I love that. And I think there's so there is so you mentioned pressure, and I think there's so much pressure from just society itself, but also now social media, where we have like this almost um what they call peacocks fluffing their their feathers, where it's like, well, if your dog can't do this, then it's wrong, and and and you have to do this, and it's it's just BS, isn't it? You know, it's like with if if you don't have that dog, or you're not there yet where you can like just enjoy a walk, then why are you putting so much pressure on yourself to get this perfect robotic dog? And like I think people can fall into this trap, but what do you think can happen when owners stop focusing solely on fixing behavior and start focusing on building that relationship instead?

SPEAKER_02 11:59

So I actually had this the other week. Um one of my clients, this this particular dog, um, they were like, they're like, we have to drag him out in the evening to go for his evening walk. I said, Well, stop it, stop taking it for a walk. They were like, Oh, I was like, Yeah, yeah. And then um everything just calmed down. Uh, he's walking nicely, he's not as worried. And then the other night he asked to go out for a walk in the evening, so he went up to his harness because he's a very clever dog, drags it out, brought it to Mom, and sat there, like, here we go. So she said, All right, okay, put the harness on, out they go. They got two houses down, he stopped, had a sniff of the ear, and then walked back. And I said, Great, that's what he wanted to do. Yeah, and she said, Um, I said, You're doing so well with him, and she said, I am sorry, Sam.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Don't worry, I'm surprised Logan's not made an appearance.

SPEAKER_02 13:01

Um so uh she said, We just weren't listening to him, that's all. They just weren't listening, and I was like, Yeah, that's that's right. But she also said, My ultimate goal is to go to the pub with him. I said, All right, have you tried taking him to the pub? Um yeah, he didn't like it. I said, So why do you want to take in the pub? And I was like, is that for you or is that for your dog? Uh and that's a question I often ask, is that for you or is that for your dog? Is that for society to accept a Labrador's lay at your feet at the pub? You know, or does your dog want to go to the pub? And she's like, No. And sometimes I I explain, like she's got uh neurodivergent children, and I said, That is sometimes it's like asking your autistic child to go to a busy place without their ear defenders, without the the stimulation and and coping mechanisms.

SPEAKER_01 14:01

And if they don't want to go, they don't have to do the and she's like, No, yeah, putting those human analogies on it can really help people to understand, can't they? And um, like a lot of this stuff, like if we if we if we did analyse it like that, and we did put it into that human terms, I think a lot of people would then have that penny drop and go, yeah, you know, like why didn't I think of that with the dog? So I love that. Um earlier on you mentioned about grief with reactivity. Is there a grieving process involved when the dog you have isn't the dog that you imagined?

SPEAKER_02 14:41

Uh I think so. I think I think there's a fine line with it of grief, disappointment, old dogs, comparisons. Um I've got a painting right next to me of the most perfect dog in the world. And when I lost him, it really killed us. Like it was one of the worst like losing about any animal because of what he'd been through with me in my life and stuff. So the when you get the next dog, you then compare him. Um Harley didn't do that. Sam's in the bin. Harley never went in the bin, did he? No, you know, and and I'm putting uh different expectations on different dogs. Um so I think the grief I definitely think you there's a lot of emotion with not having the dog you expected. Um and and that can be quite sad, can't it? And and you kind of grieve something that that's not even fur, it's not even that dog. I think I find it hard because I of uh where I am and my mindset at the minute of um not putting expectations and pressures on dogs, but I definitely think that that there is with some owners, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Yeah, 100%. I mean, uh I've been through it myself, recently lost some dogs. Um and like she was just one of those dogs, sounds similar to yours that just that just got it. Yeah, she just got it, and it's very easy to like see those similarities, and I guess you hear it all the time as well. It's like, oh, I've had five uh retrievers before this, but this one's like completely different, and it's like, well, yeah, they're they're all individuals, you know.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

Yeah, um, but also I do think um now I think the breeding's very different now, yeah, yeah. So like I've always had shepherds, I know you've had shepherds, and I and I love them. Um but I don't think I'd have one now. Agreed, yeah. I just don't, and I think breeding's a bit different now. I think the COVID and then there was separation anxiety, and then uh things got passed in genetic, and it's so I just I do think dogs aren't equipped to to always slot into our world, and sometimes we have to find what do they love doing and do more of that, and then can you possibly do this for me, you know? And I don't know, maybe not talking in riddles.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

No, I I completely understand, and to be honest, if if I hadn't found Logan, who when I met him, I was like, You're bomb-proof, you like, you know, from where for where you are and what you're doing, you're bomb-proof. I don't think I would have had another shepherd because dot especially, I was like, Oh my god, like is this a is this a um a definition of the breed now? But also Hunter previously, like it very, very anxious, and yeah, a lot in Shepherd, it's like we're not building for that stability anymore, or it doesn't seem to be. Um, what do you think success looks like for a reactive dog owner? Like if we took like maybe the mildest form of reactivity, but also like the more extreme styles as well, styles forms, sorry.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

Yeah, I think I mean sometimes it is a style. Yeah, Lucy certainly has a bit of a style going for her, real flex. We was in agility and uh my old my my owner, my teacher shouts when Lucy's finished singing the song of her people, you're next, and I was like, because she sounds like a turkey. She's like, I wanna go, she's just a nutter, um but yeah, I think success for me looks like being your dog's safe place, them having a safe place, them having autonomy and do on and consent, and then doing more of what they love doing than what they hate doing. That so uh Victoria Stillwell did something about reactivity zones, and actually, instead of just working in that reactivity, there's so much to it, isn't there? That I could you could go on and on and on without explaining reactivity and stretch zones and um settle disturbed before you react. And and instead of keep working in those zones and working and pushing and stretching, and can they do a bit more? Can they do a bit more? Let them be where they want to be more than you can still work on that reactivity, that's fine. But I mean, my friend Joe, Joe Pay, she had her dog twist, and he didn't like this, didn't like that, didn't like cars, didn't like people, didn't like this. So she bought a field. Nice, yeah, no visitors, he has a field, and he lived his best life. And I thought, yeah, but you know, why not?

SPEAKER_01 20:19

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you you know, like what would you say to people that probably have this notion of well, isn't that just avoiding the problem? Because we get a lot of that in that society as well, don't we? I I completely agree. Work to the dog's um capabilities, and and if you do more of what they love, then obviously your reactivity will lessen, but there will be maybe some people out there who have maybe thought or been told or or or heard multiple times, well, that's not fixing it. What would you say to that? Yeah, I knew it would be a controversial question.

SPEAKER_02 20:58

Well, people call me kind Kate, okay, but I do have um, you know, if you're pushing my my buttons on certain things, but I'll I'll be I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to. No, no, not you, not you. No, no, no. I so don't see things as problems, uh see behavior as communication. So, what's the dog telling me? Good or good or bad behaviour, that's our concept preconception, not theirs. They simply behave, and if they are saying I'm really uncomfortable with this, I'm not gonna put them in that situation. Is it depending on what the situation is? So, say if it was the vets, obviously they've got to go sometimes, so then I would work on you know consent and handling and husbandry care, and can you do this voluntarily and and help with that? Um, but there's the we don't do fixing. I don't fix anything because that's that's that's your expectation as the human. Um we listen to the dog, however, I am very much here for humans. So what I'll do is educate with kindness, or we s we say with grace, so with understanding, and um if I I'm never gonna judge someone or be hurtful to any person like I wouldn't to a dog or an animal or a horse or whatever, but um so I will educate them with that understanding, and I'll always go at their pace as well, yeah, of what they can take at that time without feeling that it's a judgment. I don't know if that makes sense. So if I yeah, yeah. Uh you can't Julius K9 harnesses the rubbish, you can't have a retractable lead, just say wait once, stop saying wait, wait, what you know, they'll they'll feel attacked, they shut down, and then they go, Oh, I'm doing everything wrong. Yeah, and then give up. Yeah, so what I'm gonna say is, oh, just try my lead for a minute. Uh, we're gonna use this instead, just why you know, we're trading, uh, and then I'll I'll talk to them about information about the harness and why it's rubbish and why these ones are better. Oh, I've got a discount code as well for that, you know, and and helping them in a kind, understanding way.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

Yeah, I love it, I love it. I think this um, like we mentioned earlier, like there's a lot of ego out there and a lot of pressure put on I think dog trainers as well. Like, I watched some of these videos and I'm like, are you putting your dog through that because you feel like you have to, or is it because we've had like this whole social media influence that if you aren't able to do that, that there's something detrimentally wrong with you as a trainer, and then I think that transfers out into people as well, where again this pressure just builds and they feel that they have to. So, yeah, removing that pressure. I mean, I did it with dog, like you know, I did that whole ego boosting thing. I was like, Look, I'm gonna take this human reactive dog and I'm gonna work with her, and and we built up and we walked her down the town, and then um I stopped and I was like, Who am I doing this for? You but it's not for Dot. She's not my coffee shop dog, she's not my go shopping dog, like she's she's not my dog, and and taking that pressure off and going, we're gonna enjoy quiet walks, we're gonna do the stuff that you love, which is like um her grc stuff and biting things, and you know, in a structured and you know what? She's been 10 times happier, as have I. So that's a big lesson, I think, for a lot of people on this call today. And we probably we've probably already mentioned it, but if you could leave every reactive dog owner with one message, what would it be? Um sorry, I'm tight when I say one. I should really say three, but just love your dog, you don't have to like them, but love them, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

Yeah, just love your dog and and take just take the pressure off. Honestly, for all of you involved, because the more stressed you get as a human, the more stress your dog's gonna get. Um, my trainer, because I go to a trainer, of course. Yeah, because I can't, you know, do my own class with my dog, yeah. Classes with my dog, and she she said, Um, stop acting weird in front of your dog. And I was like, What do you mean? She's like, when they're in a sit wait or stay and you're walking backwards, word, word, creeping backwards. She said, then they'll get up because they think, What's wrong with her, you know? So take the pressure off, take a breath and love them. I remember going out once um to a class with Sam, my angel dog. He sat next to me, he's uh the stooge dog, the perfect, uh, brilliant dog, and he demand barked in my face for 10 minutes, and so I left crying. And he's he'd never done it, he'd never barked, he never barked at me in demand bark. And I went home and cried, and I was like, put him in the crate, put him over there. I can't even look at him. And I text my friend, I was like, I can't believe he's done this, and she was like, just cuddle him. And I was like, What? She's like, Why have you got a dog? And I was like, Because I love him, and I've cuddled, yeah, just cuddle your dog, just love them.

SPEAKER_01 26:41

Love it, I love it, and it takes so much stress away, doesn't it? It's like they're allowed to have feelings, yeah. And he was clearly telling you something in that moment, yeah. Um I love that, I love that. Kate, fantastic interview. Do you want to tell people more about where they can find your stuff online in person?

SPEAKER_02 27:02

Um, so our website is the faithfuldogtrainer.co.uk and we're the faithful dog trainer on Facebook and Instagram. Oh, and TikTok. I always forget about TikTok. But some of my videos they went viral, but I never go on and check. So I use it as an editor, upload my video and then close it. And then someone's like, Hey, you've gone viral. Good way to use social media. Well, this is what I was gonna say to you about pressure and social media. That's generally what I do. So go on my social, use it as uh posting an update or editing a video, and then I cover off it. Yeah, and honestly, um so um the faithful doctrine, I'm all about being faithful, kind, loving, accepting. Um and I think if I start doom scrolling and being, you know, all of this seeping into my brain, um, it it just doesn't do me very well. Um and I kind of stay in my lane, and I don't mean that in a rude way. I'm just doing my thing in we call it Kate's world. I'm a little bit fantasy. There's rainbows, there's butterflies, everyone can be who they want to be. I stay in my lane, um, and along the way, if I can help people, I will. You know, I'm not saying this is all mine, you know. I freely give information and education, but I don't worry about what anyone else is doing. Unless they like it, and then I'm like, oh, I could use a bit of that, and that's brilliant. I'll pass that message on.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

And yeah, I love it, I love it. Well, thank you very much, Kate. It's been a pleasure talking with you. And for the listeners, I hope you've enjoyed um this conversation. Go and check out Kate's stuff. I'll make sure that I link it all below in the description for you, and we will look forward to seeing you next week. Ciao for now, everybody.

unknown 29:03

Bye.