Irish People Reveal Dog CONFESSIONS w/ Lolsy Byrne & Ciara O'Doherty

Dog Confessions - She Won't Stop Eating WHAT?!! In our tenth episode, Seán Connolly welcomes Lolsy Byrne & Ciara O'Doherty to The Green Room! They chat about gardening, horse-riding, and... having a pint with Jeff Goldblum?! Then we have some confessions about their beloved dogs, before diving into some pet-related Reddit Stories - enjoy!

Follow Lolsy Byrne here:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lolsybyrne

Follow Ciara O'Doherty here:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ciaraodoherty

Support the show: https://patreon.com/TheTRYChannel 

Transcript

Introduction

SPEAKER_03 0:00

So I did eight um lessons and then I off I went. Very same. It was so much fun. And in the airport, I met Jeff Goldblum and had a pint with him. So it was really random.

SPEAKER_04 0:20

Hello and welcome to episode 10 of the Green Room Podcast brought to you by the Tri Channel. My name is Sean Connolly, and I will be on hosting duties today. And with me are uh two two brilliant guests. The the wonderful, the fabulous Lozie Byrne and Kira Darthie.

SPEAKER_03 0:37

Can we clap for ourselves? Is that weird? Yeah, you can clap for yourselves. Perfect. Yeah. Snaps. Snaps. I've heard there's been issues with the studio audience. They've been a bit quiet at times and there hasn't been clapping.

SPEAKER_04 0:46

Yeah, it's disgraceful.

SPEAKER_03 0:47

Put that in as a delay later.

SPEAKER_04 0:49

No, you wouldn't. No, yeah, you you know, I think we need to start giving out uh gifts to everyone in the audience. It could be ghosts. It could be ghosts. Ghost gifts. Ghost gifts.

SPEAKER_03 0:57

I would love like a ghost-themed podcast. Yeah, like spooky stories, paranormal activities, you know, weird, freaky things. That would be great. Like after hours with Patreon.

SPEAKER_04 1:04

We did actually do an episode recently with EUFO alien themes. Maybe next time you guys are on, we can do ghosts.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

That would be fun.

SPEAKER_04 1:10

Uh so yeah, welcome. Guys, this is your first time on uh the green room. Oh, it's quite exciting.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

We've been waiting a while for this. Yeah, we saw those couches a while ago.

SPEAKER_04 1:18

We were like on the cards, we've been we've been putting things together, and finally we're here. We did it. Success. People keep commenting. Uh, there's there's a lot of uh comments about surprise about legs. That's a huge I know.

SPEAKER_03 1:30

I didn't know what to wear today. We have them. You got the legs out, we appreciate. Give the people watching on video what they want. Short, short legs, Johnny.

SPEAKER_04 1:36

Yeah, I mean, um myself and Darren and some others, uh uh we've been getting uh slagged about our pasty legs.

SPEAKER_03 1:42

They say that they love our skin, and then when we show it, they get a bit offended that they're like, oh, is she unwell? And you're like, no, this is literally just my skin. There's no way my legs are white, they are dappled purple. I'm also dappled, and then I wear like a little bit of fake tan, shock horror, but like I am very dappled and very freckly. So, like, my sister is like milky pale. I wish I could be that kind of vibe. Alabaster, I'm not, no, I'm not that. I'm like a prawn. I'm all colored. I am fully corned beef.

SPEAKER_04 2:09

What meats uh and are we today? Hazlet.

What's News With You?

SPEAKER_04 2:12

Yeah. So, guys, uh, what we normally do when we kick off these episodes is we have a little segment where where we just ask, what's news with you?

SPEAKER_02 2:19

I was just saying that. Like you've been gardening up.

Lolsy's Gardening

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Nice. I've been garden gar gardening, I've been tearing apart.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Yeah, she's been the long. That's another that's what they call the cool people say smoking weed is gardening. Oh god. Now maybe she has, but she actually means like garden gardening on the street.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

It's one of those podcasts. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm not cool enough to I can't handle it in any form. Yeah. And every time I I have I have partaken before, because I was gonna shit in my pants. Fair. So but actual gardening, I have just been I've been streaming my little arms off. Three days, three entire days to talk. My hips are purple, yeah. Uh my arms are very sore, covered in bites, all because I'm a little bit too short for my streamers.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

No. Would you go out and like some pleas or heels, you know, like a platform just to kind of you know, like a really comfy with them? Maybe they'll do like a gardening platform just to give you an extra lift, yeah. Some polka dot daisy dukes or something like that.

SPEAKER_04 3:18

It's not quite the like zen, you know, kind of like helpful mindfulness.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

No, it's not mindful gardening, it's me just swearing at uh the garden and being like another blackberry vine. I'm buying a goat. Oh do you know? They're actually goats are brilliant for clearing.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Yeah, they're unbelievable.

SPEAKER_02 3:38

I Google this because I was like, You can rent goats, yes you can. They're flipping booked up till 2028. Oh my god, they they'll send them.

SPEAKER_04 3:47

The goats are booked. They're booked up to the biggest.

SPEAKER_03 3:51

Yeah, but they're unreal, so you'll get like what, like 50, 60 of them, and they will clear an area. They get two of them. Oh, that's true. I'm thinking of like, I don't know, acres and acres and acres, but they do, they're amazing. 60 goats in my garden. Stunning. They yeah, they'd eat everything, including like the house foundation.

SPEAKER_04 4:06

Yeah, so Kira, how about yourself? What have you been up to? What's news with you?

SPEAKER_03 4:10

I have also been trying to garden. I've started growing my own veg, and like I'd never done any gardening before. So, like, classic me was like, we'll just now have like six raised beds. I'm growing every veg you could imagine with varying levels of success. I'm like trying to look at different ways of like fucking what is it like stabilizing tomato plants? It's all gone a bit hectic, but it is very fun. It's supposed to be mindful and like to relax me, but I don't know if it no, it does. It definitely does. It does, but the the plants are dramatic.

SPEAKER_02 4:35

They are you water and they're like, I'm beautiful, and then the next day they're like, I'm tired.

SPEAKER_03 4:39

It's so true. They're very needy. Whereas like the weeds are just like, I'll thrive here. Yeah.

Ciara Learns Horse-Riding

SPEAKER_03 4:44

Um, but I did in the last couple of weeks, I learned how to horse ride in like three and a half weeks, so that was quite fun.

SPEAKER_04 4:50

Because I went on that's that's cool.

SPEAKER_03 4:52

Yeah, it was quite well, I would say it was it definitely was stressful. My friend Jody works as a content creator, and basically she had said to me before, we ended up through the jigs and the real. We, I suppose we have time to actually tell stories here. So basically, I ended up on a reality. That's the benefit of the dream room. We can tell stories. I'd never really horse ridden before, I'd like been on a horse. Um you know, where they're like, Oh, you can sit on one on a beach. And I'm like, This is quite stunning, but like never actually done anything. And then my friend Jody, full-on equestrian, owns a beautiful horse, has ridden all her life. We were on this like um uh stay somewhere in Ireland where they had an equestrian center, and she was like, Come on, we'll go out for a ride. And I was like, Brilliant, I'd love to do this. And she was like, Have you ridden before? And I was like, Yeah, of course. And she was like, Okay. Assumed that I kind of had done a few lessons. We grew up in very different. We me and Jodi had very different childhoods, I think. We went out on this ride and ended up like cantering in the woods. There was thankfully an instructor there. And um, afterwards, I was like, God, Jody, that was great. I've never cantered before. And she was like, You're really supposed to do those things like in an arena, you know, carefully. But she was like, Look, you're obviously, you know, like enjoy it. Before I'd had my first lesson, I was still on the wait list. She called me and she was like, Right, so I've accepted a trip to South Africa to do a horseback safari. It's in four weeks, and I've said that you're gonna come with me, so you're gonna need to learn how to ride in four weeks. So I and also I couldn't, I couldn't even start getting lessons until like three and a half weeks, Mark. So I did eight um lessons and then I off I went. Very glad.

Ciara Has A Pint With Jeff Goldblum

SPEAKER_03 6:13

It was so much fun. And in the airport, I met Jeff Goldblum and had a pint with him. So it was really random. Oh my god, it was so weird. That's just that it fits into your mind, so it was so random.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

I couldn't imagine anyone like that would happen to more.

SPEAKER_03 6:29

And I didn't post about it online because I was like, I won't bother, but now I'm saying it on the podcast, which kind of reduces the cool points. But he had just done, he had done a jazz gig in uh in the Tivoli the night. No, not Tivoli, it doesn't exist anymore, Vicker Street the night before. So I was sat, let's say I'm on a couch and I'm facing this way, I was in the Erlingus Lounge, right? Which like this is where all this shit goes down. So I was in the lounge and I had just gotten a pint of Guinness. Because I was like, it's brilliant. We're going horse riding, quite nervous. So I'm here and then I see him over there, and I think he's with his tour manager, and I text my friend Norma, who me and Norma like we started becoming friends because I got her a Jeff Goldblum cushion. We both, he's one of my hall passes.

SPEAKER_04 7:05

He's one of your hall passes, and all of a sudden, there he is.

SPEAKER_03 7:07

There he is, looking mighty fine, I will say. Man is what, 73? Oh, you would. You would I mean he could be 83 and I still would, but that's the story for another time. I started pouring the can and he was sitting, is it the word adjacent? Where like he was fade, he he was facing me. So I was definitely in his line of vision, and I saw him watching me pour the pint, and his tour manager had gotten up and walked away. So I kind of just went, How was the gig? And then he got up out of his chair, came over and sat down and was literally because he's such a chatty guy. So he came over, sat down, and was like doing for you. He was so sound, and then we were there for I'd say about 45 minutes, and I was like, Jeff, you're gonna miss your flight. And he was like, No, I uh I wasn't saying handler, but he was like, Yes, he was like a handler comes to get me because he was he was basically flying to Glasgow to do his second, not his second gig, but his next gig. So he was kind of touring with theuring around. So we were chatting about the intersections between trad and jazz and Irish trad and music. I told him he's probably went on the plane to listen to Madrasaloch and lots of other stunning Irish bands. So then he basically was like, Oh, we were talking about Irish bits, um, and he was talking about Guinness, and he was like, Oh, I'd love like a drinking song to like sing to them or whatever in Glasgow. And I was like, I'll definitely I'll send you some. And he was like, We need to connect, like, and he was like, and again, none of this, in case the people I'm not, he was so lovely, like he's kind of he's got like a flirty energy in that he's just like really excited, and when he talks to you, it's like there's no one else in the very engaged.

SPEAKER_02 8:30

I even see it in interviews, like just like a red carpet. It's like he he could be on a press line and someone's like, Hi, I want to ask you, and all of a sudden it's like tunnel vision. He only sees the person. That is literally what happened.

SPEAKER_04 8:40

We were the only two people in the lounge, and he was just like, Hey, how are you doing? 100% we're in the Guinness Build.

SPEAKER_03 8:46

Because he was like, Where are you off to? And I was like, I'm off to South Africa. And he was like, What are you going there for? And I was like, I'm off to a horseback ride, and I only learned in the last three weeks. He was like, Oh my god, are you gonna be okay?

SPEAKER_04 8:54

I was about to say, you know, he found you as interesting as you found him, which sounds like what you say about like, you know, a shark or something. It's a scared, it's a scared user.

SPEAKER_03 9:01

No, literally, I was like, Jeff, I was like, you probably need to go to your flight. And he was like, No, no, the handler will come and get me. So basically, when the flight boards, because they were like announcing for things, and he was like, No, they come and get me when like I think he's like probably like last to board kind of thing. Basically, he was like, Oh, we need to connect again, not in like a flirty way. He just was like, I want to see what you're doing, because he was like, You're a content creator. He was like, Look, I'll find you on Instagram. And then I boarded my plane and we spent the next like hour. I sent him like music, he was basically looking for like a Glaswegian drinking song. So I said the Ramblin' Rover because it is a Glaswegian drinking song, but it's an it's the Dubliners, of course. And he was tickled by that. And then um give him a bit of Jerry Cinnamon as well.

unknown 9:39

That was fuck it.

SPEAKER_03 9:40

I wish you were there. I actually didn't. That would have been brilliant.

SPEAKER_02 9:42

I only know one song, but it feels like she's a bell duh.

SPEAKER_04 9:45

That would have been good from the ride.

SPEAKER_03 9:46

That would have been brilliant. And uh then he said, Good luck in South Africa and enjoy the riding. And then and the last thing he said to you, that's incredible. Yeah, he was delighted. But he messaged me, like, it was so nice to meet you. Uh despite saying he doesn't know how Instagram works, he definitely does. Um, and he was absolutely lovely. And now we're pals on Instagram, and I I left him on red because I went on the flight, and I need to follow up and be like, How is that?

SPEAKER_04 10:06

I love it. He was so lovely. I loved this story was I I met Jeff Goldblum in the airport for a point, and the end is like I left him on red, you know.

SPEAKER_03 10:15

Lovely chap, great style. He looked fabulous, it was really nice.

SPEAKER_04 10:17

Well, that definitely, you know, it is a contender.

SPEAKER_03 10:23

That was like three weeks ago. So it's old news.

SPEAKER_04 10:25

Definitely contender for one of the one of the strongest news of us.

SPEAKER_03 10:29

Who's Jeff anyway? You know? Um, actually, sorry, kind of embarrassing. Because he was basically like, I've seen some of his movies, but my friend Norman's a huge film buff. And he was like, Oh, I did this um this da-da-da show in theater. Have you seen it? And I was like, I haven't, Jeff. And he was like, Oh, and then I I did this um this film amazing, I'm sure, film in the eight. Like, I said this to Germot. Dermot was like crying. I was like, I did this to Germans.

SPEAKER_04 10:49

I'm just basically melting.

SPEAKER_03 10:53

And he was like, Oh, this film in the 80s, have you seen it? And I was like, I haven't seen it, Jeff. And I was like, I've seen the fly and Jurassic Park and that other weird one with the hotel. I was like, other than that, you've got me. And he's like, because I I'm I I'm not like that. I should be more fun. I mean the fly, if you anyone hasn't seen it. He's incredible. He's just it the flies make it. But he's also like peacotness in it. He's also amazing in it, and it's sorry, you're right.

SPEAKER_04 11:15

I have seen a picture of him in that, and that might be when he was at his greatest powers.

SPEAKER_03 11:19

Yeah, especially when he starts turning into the fly, it's kind of weird.

SPEAKER_04 11:22

Sometimes it's just a bit of fly monster. Um, guys, guys, my my what's news with you is uh yeah, I didn't mean Jeff Goblum, but uh I went to my cousin uh recently had a baby and uh went to the christening and it was very cute. It was the smiliest baby I did ever see.

SPEAKER_03 11:36

Oh, I think any child related to you in any way is going to be the smiliest, happiest baby.

SPEAKER_04 11:40

Yeah, but before we go into uh the next thing, which are we go we're gonna get a little bit um rough, shall we say? Okay, we're gonna have a brief break, and uh yes, we'll be right back after this. Hello there and welcome back to uh it's okay. Did I scare you? These these breaks, I tell you, they they're they they take you by storm. Are you okay?

SPEAKER_02 12:06

Stunning. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:06

Did you rest up?

SPEAKER_02 12:07

I'd put the cat on.

SPEAKER_04 12:09

First things first, I believe you both have dogs.

SPEAKER_03 12:12

I've been waiting for your for the dog questions. Yeah. You have two dogs now. I have two dogs! What's the you've Remy and I now have a set so I have two whippets now. So Remy and June, and they're they're the best gals. Remy and June. I know they're very cute. They're very cute. And you have a stunning Chihuahua who re- What's her name? Lily. Lily, who recently was snatching trophies in competitions. Yes. That is other news. Oh, that's other news, yeah. I specifically didn't start asking you about it until we were recording. So tell me everything. Has she always been a trophy snatcher?

SPEAKER_02 12:43

No, well, we only adopted her. So she's 12. She'll be 13 this year. Okay. We adopted her when she was nine, turning 10, and she has she's just been living her best life. Like thriving with Harry, having a ball.

SPEAKER_04 12:56

She's having a great time.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

She was kind of in a little bit of bad nick when we got her. She was really overweight and she had a bit of a gimpy leg. She's hip dysplasia. So in the mornings we do a bit of physio. We got her diet. We now have her at her ideal weight. And I was like, She's still a bit, she's still a bit, and my vet was like, she's a thick girl. I'm like, I hear that. I also have a large rib cage, and that's totally fine. We recently moved to the countryside, and I wanted to get involved. Like, I was so involved in my my old neighborhood, and it's like, I'm gonna get involved. They had a little Jim Cana fate type of thing going on, a local marsh fair of that one recently. Incredible. It was straight from Father Ted. They had a load of horses, a few stalls selling local honey, and then a mechanical bowl. That's right. That's all you need. Perfect. And genuinely. Did you get in the bowl? No, I didn't. Next time we gotta go in easy. I was prepping the girl for competition. Yeah, yeah. You know?

SPEAKER_04 13:55

I ask about uh the the dog questions because this segment is called That's Rough Dog Confessions. What I'm gonna be doing is asking you each uh well, so I have five questions here. There might be little funny stories about your dog. Do you think this will be a fun time or are you are you wary of what's to come?

SPEAKER_03 14:13

I feel like we could talk about our dogs all day. Like this is my favorite thing to talk about.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

I have to stop myself from constantly talking about my dogs. So this is just a joke.

SPEAKER_03 14:22

I just want to hear you talk about I love that's all.

SPEAKER_04 14:26

Cool. Let's go for

Q1: Most Embarrassing Thing Your Dog Has Done?

SPEAKER_04 14:27

question number one. What's the most embarrassing thing your dog has done in public?

SPEAKER_02 14:32

Uh probably at the dog show.

SPEAKER_03 14:34

Please simply tell us.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

I do there was loads of different uh categories like the best behaved dog, the best working dog, the best dog handled by a lady. I did not enter this dog in any of these because she is a menace to society and hates every living thing. So she was like, That cow like she's so angry. She hates it. So the entire time we were at this, I entered her in the one thing I knew she stood a chance in. This is the fancy dress, okay. And what you had to do was like parade them around in a circle. Of course, and like amazing. And her dress was absolutely stunning. What colour was it? It was uh a pink and orange quincene dress.

SPEAKER_03 15:16

Oh my god, how's telling?

SPEAKER_02 15:17

She was vibing. So as I'm walking around in the circle with all these other very well-behaved dogs, she was just lunging. She was a little demon in her quincennero dress. I mean, that trash. Like a short lead of a video of me like walking her around and she's just like, she won anyway, though. Oh my god, iconic.

SPEAKER_04 15:37

Amazing.

SPEAKER_02 15:38

Oh, what a diva. I will say the other, oh my god, actually, this could top it. Most embarrassing thing she did. I was on a train uh to Scary's, and I will say, public transport in this country, really nice for like you're able to take your dogs and keep them in a little carry case and stuff like that. We were sitting waiting to take off, and we're like, what the hell is that smell? And we thought maybe they'd like release the toilet that fell accidentally in the station. And as we took off, the smell didn't go go away, and I peeked inside her carry case. She had expressed her anal glands inside. Oh no, that's nearly worse. Yeah, I was like, I don't know what to do. So I was like, maybe I could like get some tissues and what they only had powdered soap in the absolute sardine can. Um I was just like delighted, she probably felt great.

SPEAKER_04 16:29

She's like, you deal with that now.

SPEAKER_03 16:30

Yeah, but they are having a little colonic. I'd say she was floating around the place.

SPEAKER_04 16:33

Yeah, that sounds amazing. Fair play, Lily. Um, Kira, how about you?

SPEAKER_03 16:37

You know, on the subject of like bodily things with dogs, I feel like uh Remy being a rescue, she has a lot of like quirks and things like that, but she is great. And I'm she I'm sure she's done many things over the years, but now it's all she's my perfect angel child because now we have a younger dog, which I realize is she's a little critter, and she's at this stage for a very long time where she just loves eating her own shite, eating other dogs' shite. And I'd heard like it's a little puppy phase, they'll grow out of it. She loves it, and she does it a lot in public as well, you know, and like you're chatting to someone or like you know, because you're doing all these different walks and you're meeting people, and she's very friendly and like a great in that sense. She doesn't have like some of the maybe fear uh or anxiety that Remy might have with certain Remy's relaxed an awful lot now. But June's just very chill with meeting everyone, but she does love eating shite, and it's weird, she'll eat so much of it and then be absolutely fine. But then when we like change her kibble, oh then it's yeah, shit like shit city.

SPEAKER_02 17:31

They'll eat shite and then the next thing they want to do is come and lick your face out.

SPEAKER_03 17:36

Oh, always. It's like her favorite post-shite eating thing to do. She's just a dirty little girl, but she's great. She other than that, love her going from one to two. I feel like I'm talking about children, but I feel like you get it. We got her when she was four months, and I was like, ah, she's basically rared. Oh my god, what does a four-month-old whip like look like? She's very cute. But I was like, ah, she's basically grown. Um, because Remy is so chill. And again, I suppose being we got Remy when she was one and she's seven now, but like she's great. She's really good, apart from the shitty thing, which I hope will go away soon. I'm sure it will.

SPEAKER_04 18:08

I love that we already have a kind of schatological theme uh in place. Uh there probably wasn't. Scatological I'd never heard involved.

SPEAKER_02 18:16

Uh you get a group of women together and we're not just going, oh my god, hair and nails. We're like shit, shit, anal glands, shit, Jeff Goldblum. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:24

Well, I mean, that's I think that's the perfect way to start in

Q2: If Your Dog Could File A Complaint...

SPEAKER_04 18:26

these game stories. Oh, next up we have if your dog could file one complaint about you, what would it be?

SPEAKER_03 18:31

Oh, maybe that I don't let her eat her own shit.

SPEAKER_04 18:34

Yeah, like I just want to eat the shit.

SPEAKER_03 18:35

Yeah, she's like, it's natural. Why is it so weird? She's like the fucking human centipede over here. She's her own compost. One time it was coming out of Remy's arse. And she's like, I was like, You sick. Like, come on.

SPEAKER_04 18:47

That is that is significant.

SPEAKER_03 18:48

She's not just eating it off the ground. She likes it hot and fresh, people hot and fresh. Like an ice cream. Oh, she was like soft served, yum, horrendous.

SPEAKER_04 18:57

I was gonna say, because when I hit think of dogs eating poop, it's like, you know, they're putting it in the grass.

SPEAKER_03 19:01

No, no.

SPEAKER_04 19:02

Walking up to another dog.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

Remy's like, what the fuck is going on? I've seen her like get sick, eat it. It's she is the human sentiment. She's the human centipede. Yeah. But she's so cute. Put a picture, put a picture of her on. How cute is it? Look how cute that dog is. She's like, butter wouldn't melt. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

Butter buttermilk, but shite will be.

SPEAKER_03 19:23

But listen, it's all it's all part of it. But yeah, sorry, that's the complaint that she would probably file that I don't let her indulge in her little sick fantasies.

SPEAKER_02 19:30

And Lulsie. Uh, that I don't let her eat everything. That's why she was overweight, because she's like, I'll eat that. If you give her cable and like the really expensive dog food that's gonna keep her guts in order, she's like, I don't know. Yeah, I don't fancy this. But like, what are you eating? Why aren't you giving that to me? What is that? Give her the food off! It's a spicy Dorito, you're not having it.

SPEAKER_04 19:59

I um empathize with that because I also like to eat anything and everything. So um, I mean, I support I support that really from one raccoon to another, I hear you. I don't want my cable. Everyone's always like, eat my cable. I don't want the cable.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

You need to have a regular movement, okay.

SPEAKER_04 20:16

So, guys, here this is a good one, and I think this kind of ties into a question lots of people think of what breed do you think you'd be if you were a dog? And this kind of ties

Q3: What Breed Would YOU Be?

SPEAKER_04 20:25

into people saying that their dogs look or look or like give the vibe of their owners.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

100% a King Charles Cavalier. Like I'm interested, I was gonna say and like weird, like long hair that looks like ears and just like stomach-ishy, but like adorable. I uh I'm a King Charles Cavalier. I can't you can't deny it. I'd love to be a greyhound, but alas, I lack the long limbs, the crap.

SPEAKER_04 20:55

I'm so old. Uh King Charles Cavalier, okay, Kira.

SPEAKER_03 20:59

I definitely think I'm a whippet. A hundred percent. They have like nervous, nervous energy. If a cat just so like if a if a cat happened to be a dog, it would be a whippet. They have like real bursts of of kind of frantic, weird energy, and then they're kind of comatose then for a while. They sleep never the time.

SPEAKER_02 21:15

Dogs suit their owner's vibe.

SPEAKER_03 21:18

Well, Remy, June will settle and she'll be like Remy. But Remy and me, sh that gal, yeah, always down for the nap. Like at a drop of a hat, I'm like, I feel like she always has a sweater on as well. Oh, always has nice clothing. Uh drop of a hat, she's ready for a 40-minute or a three-hour nap. Whatever we like, she doesn't sleep in bed with us, but like she I will like bring her onto the bed for a nap. And my favorite thing now with both of them is like sleeping on the couch or on a chair with like both of them on me somehow. And then Yost comes in and we're all like mangled into each other. Limbs. I'm definitely whip, but I also think I kind of look like a whippet. I'm kind of a bit like long, you know, there is a lot of things.

SPEAKER_04 21:49

I was gonna say you know the stern of 101 Dalmatians where it's like all the all the owners of the dogs.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

It's like I could see you and I do I do love putting the bits on Remy big chest cavity, tiny little waist, and long legs, stunning. So

SPEAKER_02 22:00

Getting close for them, a lot of time you gotta get them custom, like custom people who make them for whippets, special collars, their heads are smaller than their like a martingale one, or they need like she has a bunch of snuds, she has a lot of snuds for her neck.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

Um, you know, June's a bit more kind of feral. As she gets older, she'll probably a bit more delicate. But like Remy was found half dead on the side of the road. But now, if there's a little bit of mist in the air, she's like not walking.

SPEAKER_04 22:21

So I can see Remy having like you know, a a turtleneck. 100% she has like a little cup of coffee, maybe she's a writer, you know. She has a beret. Oh, she has a beret, yes.

SPEAKER_02 22:30

My brain auto-completes a beret on table. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 22:33

I think for me, if I was to answer this question, the breed I would be is either what's the Beethoven duck?

SPEAKER_02 22:38

Oh, my God, same thing, or or just a retriever. Yeah, you've got a bit of um Bernese Mountain, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:46

Is that what it is, yeah?

SPEAKER_02 22:47

You would help find people in the sea.

SPEAKER_03 22:48

Good crack, little time with a little barrel of brandy around your neck.

SPEAKER_04 22:52

I would find people in the snow. That's what I would be.

SPEAKER_03 22:54

And I'd just be like, Yeah, having a ball.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

They have a double coat. They love a swim, you love a swim and a brandy, do you?

SPEAKER_04 23:03

Yeah, that's me. That's me. Perfect. Swim and a brandy, uh, Sean Connery.

SPEAKER_03 23:06

I could absolutely see you with any of those for sure.

SPEAKER_04 23:09

I think we know, you know, if we all get struck by a magic wand and what dogs are going to change it. We've sorted it. It's fine. 100%.

Q4: Dumbest Thing You've Said To Your Dog?

SPEAKER_04 23:13

Yeah. Next question. What's the dumbest thing you've caught yourself saying out loud to your dog like it understood you?

SPEAKER_02 23:19

Oh I I never stop talking to my dog. Like I just have full conversations, and like my entire day is me and my partner wandering around the house singing songs about our dog.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

Perfect. And just can we get a song?

SPEAKER_02 23:37

They never make any sense, but I'd love to hear what like things like you know, the Elton John, it's not even the song because there's no words. Uh song for guy. Oh, duck.

SPEAKER_01 23:48

She a dog nina Lily. She a puppin' a duck. She a dog name a lily. A puppin' the tiny dog. She in a tiny dog.

SPEAKER_02 24:01

A dog name. She and we have a language that we speak to the dog in. Wow. So her name's Lily. I call her Lemon.

SPEAKER_00 24:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:09

And it's are you drinking water? We go for Christopher Watkins. Okay, cool. And you have a dings. She eaten a dings. She she drinkins waters. And why you have virgin? You haven't jinckins? We haven't jinckens a dims. Like and we understand this. She of course she understands.

SPEAKER_04 24:31

I understand that, but you know, knowing what Lily looks like, and you know, we'll have pictures of her here on screen. Uh as well. Apologies, audio listeners. Uh, she's uh a very cute uh little white doggy. And if you can check out the video, highly recommend it. You'll see the pictures.

SPEAKER_02 24:43

She's she's so she's surprisingly small. If I go away for a couple of days, if I'm on a work trip, if I'm on holiday, and I come back, I will see that dog and go, fuck, that's a small dog. What happened? What children have said that to me. What happened?

SPEAKER_04 24:58

Where's the rest of you? Why it's talky.

SPEAKER_03 25:01

I like that.

SPEAKER_04 25:01

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:02

She's she's a tank.

SPEAKER_04 25:03

And uh, Kira, what about you?

SPEAKER_03 25:04

Oh, I don't know. I can't beat those songs, they're so good. I do talk to the girls a lot, but like Remy is just my perfect angel girl. She never does anything wrong. But then June is fucking always doing something wrong. So in the beginning, I'm like, yeah, I'm a real, I mean, I honestly, it's like an analogy with children. I'm like, I'm real chill with the dogs, like it's fine. And then I'm like, Jenny, stop eating. Like, she's just especially being younger. I think she will settle, but like she's always either eating her own shite, shiting in general, you know, or like chewing something she shouldn't. So, like, I'm just like I don't say scolding her, but like kind of having to put this mock on her all the time. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:41

Do you call your dogs by like I know they have their names, but have are they oh, they've got like 17 names.

SPEAKER_03 25:47

So, like Remy is Lady Remington the third, Remiger, like loads of other random ones. There's like Juni Bug, Juni Bear, Juju Berry, Juni Bee, like anything you can imagine. It just becomes like the word stops having any meaning. Yeah. I also was really trying to convince Joseph to let me call her fingers, but he said no. As in like as a name, because we were trying to think of dog names, and we wanted to give Remy like an old lady name, which we did. Well, like, I don't know. We wanted to, I was thinking like a Penelope or an Ethel, an old lady that I would really pamper and then we couldn't think of something. And then the person who owned the rescue that we got it from, his name was Remy, and he's from the Netherlands. He was stunning. Shout out Remy. Yeah, so we called her that. And then I was like, well, maybe we'll just go wild and give her like a random name. Because I heard someone online call their dog fingers, and Yosa's like, absolutely fucking not.

SPEAKER_02 26:28

It's that's you have to think about what you're gonna say.

SPEAKER_03 26:32

Stop eating your own shot. You just like to do it.

SPEAKER_04 26:35

To be fair to June, it does sound like she's taken on the you know, the atmosphere and air of a dog code fingers.

SPEAKER_03 26:45

Yeah, she is a little critter, to be fair. Like she has her she has her key moments.

SPEAKER_04 26:49

Well, guys, uh, we have our final question.

Q5: If Your Dog Had To Describe You...

SPEAKER_04 26:51

Oh good. If your dog had to describe your personality to another dog, what would it say?

SPEAKER_02 26:55

Almighty saviour. So stunning. I am like she's very attached to me. Yeah, just I feel like sometimes she looks at me and just goes, Mother. We've noticed in the past little while she's starting to go a little bit deaf. So, like, she I leave and she's like scuttling about being like, Mother, when oh my goodness, you went into the shower. Oh, why rain box? Oh god, no, you know, like, or if I walk outside, she's at the door being like, Oh, bless her.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

The messiah has left.

SPEAKER_04 27:26

And here, how about you?

SPEAKER_03 27:27

That is good. I feel like each of them, Remy and June, would give two very different answers. Because me and Remy are just chilling all the time. And then June would be like, Who's this disciplinarian who's chasing me around with poo bag while I'm just trying to enjoy a snack? You know, and Remy is just, I think Remy would, I think me and Remy are pretty like I feel like I would hope, given the life that I give her and how she wants for nothing, neither does June, to be fair. I think she would have nice things to say about me. I think because I'm like, if she doesn't want to walk, I'm like, you don't have to walk. You know, she's always swathed in fancy fabrics. She, and maybe now June, but mostly Remy, especially in the last couple of years, gets a lot of like press drops as a creator's dog. Remy has been invited to like dog-friendly staycations. There's been things address like we were invited to like the Conrad, and it was like Remy and June and Gears Plus Run. So like Yos came along as like the fucking chop liver. And it makes me so happy to see your. I think it's like that with every rescue dog. I think they don't need any of that shit. It's uh it doesn't matter. Just once they have someone that loves them and minds them and takes care of them, she's so happy, which I mean makes me.

SPEAKER_02 28:31

But that is the thing, like it it it dogs don't need it. But when you've you've rescued a dog that maybe hasn't had the best background, you just want to give them the world 100%.

SPEAKER_04 28:40

That brings us to the end of our dog confessions or our dog fashions, but it's just very nice to have two rescue dogs. It's such lovely lives now, and they will just nice times. And even though there may be a lot of poo involved, let them let them have all the poo because you know they deserve it.

SPEAKER_03 28:53

Don't tell June that. I'm trying to get her to stop eating that shit. But yes, theoretically watching, eat the poo.

SPEAKER_04 28:59

Yeah, eat the shit. We're just gonna take a quick break uh before we dive into some Reddit stories of the pet variety. Um, yes, before we do that, uh we'll be right back after this. Welcome back. We hope you uh, you know, maybe had had a nice time, a little bit of a bit of a break, got a snack. Uh was it Pooh? Who knows? Might have been. Uh guys, how are you doing? We're ready for our final segment.

SPEAKER_03 29:28

I feel like I may have spoken about shit for a bit too long. I'm really sorry. I'm gonna try and rein it in.

SPEAKER_02 29:33

If anyone has like emetophobia or one of those things, sorry.

SPEAKER_03 29:37

Yeah.

Reddit Stories Intro

SPEAKER_04 29:38

So, guys, do you like Reddit stories?

SPEAKER_03 29:40

I do enjoy them. I feel like the best and oftentimes the worst of humanity comes out in the Reddit stories. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:47

And do you know what it is? Like, I will read a couple of books a year. And I'm like, geez, I really need to get back into reading. I devour Reddit. I have read like I'm up to up to date with Reddit. You read it? I read it.

SPEAKER_03 30:01

But it's junky reading, a lot of it, like especially when you have threads where they're updated constantly.

SPEAKER_04 30:05

It's like your best Redditor updates on the So, what we're gonna do today, guys, and what we've done previously on the show is I've gathered a few Reddit stories. They might be from Am I the Asshole, Relationship Advice, or a few other of those big subreddits. And today the theme is pets.

SPEAKER_03 30:20

There better be more shit stories.

SPEAKER_04 30:22

Yeah. Hey, look, who's to say poop may or may not pop up in these stories? We'll

Story 1: AITA For Choosing Dog Over Friend?

SPEAKER_04 30:27

see. Story number one. Am I the asshole for choosing our family dog over a friend?

SPEAKER_02 30:32

No. No. We don't next yeah, next question.

SPEAKER_04 30:35

Done, sorted. Me, 32 male and my wife, 30 female, and our two daughters, both under five, live in a decent sized apartment, not grand or anything of the sort, but big enough for us uh and for us to host another person for a limited amount of time that it would not be a bird. Recently, a friend of mine, 28 male, that I've known for a few years from an old job, is going through a divorce, has asked me for a place to stay. I talked it over with my wife, and she has no problems at all with him staying with us. When I told him that he could stay, he was so grateful, but then told me to let him know once we have gotten rid of our dog and deep clean the home as he has a severe dog allergy.

SPEAKER_03 31:08

Ah no.

SPEAKER_04 31:09

We never knew about this, as it has never been an issue. We always hung out at a mutual friend's house, work the bar, or double dates at restaurants where no dogs are. I told him that we would not be able to get rid of our dog to accommodate, as he's part of the family, getting older, and that it would honestly devastate our girls and us. He is now running around bad mouthing us to our friend group for taking back our offer for him to stay with us and choosing a dog over his health. I've been receiving multiple calls saying that I am the asshole for not helping him.

SPEAKER_03 31:33

Like, no, that makes no sense.

SPEAKER_02 31:36

Who are also these friends who are on his side? He also, it's the dog's home. You are you are moving into the dog's home. Yeah. He's part of the family. I feel like people who maybe never grew up with animals don't realize how much of an actual character.

SPEAKER_03 31:50

Yeah, it's part of the family. And also having two young children, like that dog is their sibling. Yeah. Like, especially when you're at that age, you're like constantly. You're like, that's my brother or sister. Like, you don't understand, like, you know, you're gonna, they would, it would devastate them. I understand like pets can pass away when children are young, and it's so sad. But to just for the parents to be like, Oh, yeah, we'll just get rid of him.

SPEAKER_02 32:11

As well, you mentioned that he has a severe dog allergy. Yeah, yet they have hung around beside each other for years, all dog shed. Yeah, you're whether you like it or not. Like, I definitely have some sort of animal fur on me right now. If you had that severe of an allergy, you'd be in bits.

SPEAKER_03 32:29

Yeah, he seems like a melt of the highest order.

SPEAKER_04 32:31

Surely that's the first thing you say. You're like, by the way, I have a massive dog allergy.

SPEAKER_03 32:36

Would this maybe be an option? No worries.

SPEAKER_04 32:39

Well, you've obviously gotten rid of the dog, and when's gonna expect him to go to the dog.

SPEAKER_03 32:41

That is nuts.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

I mean, I'm sure that probably not depends why he got divorced. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:46

Wild. Am I sorry? Yeah, no, I'm not sorry.

SPEAKER_04 32:49

There must be like, you know, even if he's an older, a previous work friend, but they must have been relatively close for him to offer that. Because you don't take someone into your home for a few weeks with your family without trusting them quite a bit, like.

SPEAKER_02 33:00

And also these friends who are now getting all offended. Why can't they?

SPEAKER_03 33:05

I know it's highly strange. Maybe they're getting like a very different story because he seems like an absolute bollocks. Like, I wouldn't, I I don't understand how anyone really is more to that.

SPEAKER_04 33:12

Yeah, this isn't that this isn't one of those stories where we get like an update or a or a different uh side of things.

SPEAKER_02 33:16

Because we know how it went, they just kept the dog until you're the dog to eat shit.

SPEAKER_04 33:21

Yeah, well, uh, which is the theme of today's episode. Right, ready for story number two? Yes.

Story 2: Making Family Prove They Can Take Care Of Dog

SPEAKER_04 33:25

Am I the asshole for making my husband and children prove they can take care of a dog without my help?

SPEAKER_02 33:30

That is so one I'm intrigued, Sean. I'm intrigued. I have such a bone to pick with people who get animals who don't do the research beforehand. I completely who have they want a cuddle buddy, yeah, and they get a canic horso, or yeah, yeah, yeah. 100% or something like that. My Malinmois has eaten my walls, and you're like, 100%. I couldn't agree more. Or they they go, it's cute, I dress it up, and then they're like, Why is it malnourished? Oh, I forgot to feed it for six days. So it very often happens that someone in a family gets a dog, and then after a week the novelty wears off and it's left down to one person to look after.

SPEAKER_03 34:08

Oh 100%.

SPEAKER_02 34:10

So I'm intrigued if this is the case. Whether they got a dog and mama is just Yeah, it could be along those lines.

SPEAKER_04 34:16

So uh before we got married and had kids, my husband and I agree that all big decisions require two yes or no votes. Well, our two oldest kids and my husband want a dog. I do not. I've heard too many horror stories about a family getting a pet and then the person who did not want it being stuck caring for it. So that's exactly what you were saying. I finally agreed on three conditions. One, smaller than 60 pounds, we do not need a mastiff. Two, a non-shedding dog only, none of us are allergic, I just don't want extra work. Three, for 60 days in a row, they had to collect all the garbage from all the trash cans in the house and put it in the garbage bed. That was to make sure they would remember to feed a dog every day. And for the 60 days, all three of them had to go for a one mile walk twice a day with the GPS route tracker active. If they missed a day, they had to start over.

SPEAKER_03 34:57

Like it is strict, but I actually don't think that it's inherently bad because all of this comes down to I want to make sure they can care for this animal and do the bear meat so I don't like he's a little bit intense.

SPEAKER_04 35:09

It's coming from someone who just doesn't want a dog.

SPEAKER_02 35:11

But they're willing to compromise so long as a big thing.

SPEAKER_04 35:13

Yes, well, I and that's why I think it's very much like they're like, I do not want it to end up on me. The longest they've made it so far is two weeks. My parents called me up to say I was being ridiculous and petty. I 100% agreed with them. But since they always side with the kids, I was ready for them. I sent them a link for a dog walking service in my area. It's very reasonable. I said if they wanted to say in the dog decision, they had to agree to set up an account with that company and that I could call up the company for help whenever their precious, perfect grandchildren and suddenly. They said I was being a jerk and that they had the right to their opinion. I agreed that they had that. But unless they were willing to pay to include their opinion in the decision, it did not matter. My husband is.

SPEAKER_02 35:51

Who is this diva? Yeah, this person is just like, you can tell she has XL sheets for everything.

SPEAKER_04 35:56

So I feel like this could have also fit in malicious compliance. Oh, absolutely. My husband has finally seen that the kids aren't responsible enough to have a dog. He said we needed to tell them. I said that we was one too many people. I wasn't the one who sided with them when I had said I knew they were not ready. He thinks I'm being a dick. No one has called me an asshole, but that's only because they say it in much more polite terms. What do we think?

SPEAKER_03 36:17

I don't know. I think it's so fair.

SPEAKER_02 36:19

Yeah, I also think I feel like, yeah, they went above and beyond to prove a point. But what's the alternative? Getting a dog that's then missed. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 36:29

And you were saying this person, initially I thought it was a man, is it a woman?

SPEAKER_00 36:32

Woman.

SPEAKER_03 36:33

Mother? Okay, so I feel like oftentimes in family situations, the the like labor of motherhood and caring will fall oftentimes can fall more so on the mother. And it can happen with pets as well. So I absolutely understand someone's trepidation by being like, I don't know if I really want this. And she probably knows in her head. She's probably saying this because it kind of indicates that maybe in the family situation, maybe she is probably doing, I don't know what their working situation is. I don't know. But she obviously is doing this for a reason that she's like, I really, really want to make sure I'm not gonna be stuck doing this. And also, I think, like with children, with pets, if it's not a hell yes, then it should maybe be a hell no. Like if one person in the house really doesn't want an animal, then maybe it's not right. Unless, again, what she's doing is being like, I'm gonna set this super hard limit for you guys to prove that it's something that you can do.

SPEAKER_02 37:19

She's thinking outside the box as well, wanting to get a dog that doesn't shed because she's thinking beyond the there's an animal in front of us. It's like, okay, if we got a dog and the dog sheds, it goes all over the furniture, all over the clothes. Uh, you put the clothes in the washing machine, washing machine gets clogged. That's a repair job. And like it's very type A thinking into the thing to think things fucking sideways. But it's very fair. I feel like it's very and animals can be a brilliant way of teaching children responsibility. Absolutely, absolutely. But they have to be able to follow through.

SPEAKER_03 37:49

Yeah, well, this is the thing, you don't want to get the dog and like it'll teach them responsibility, and then the kids like, yeah, I'm bored, but you still have the dog, so someone's gonna have to and that's what happens when dogs get, you know, abandoned or like worst case, abandoned, or just brought back to shelters or passed off to people, and it's really traumatizing for them. And like rescues can be like even more traumatized and have even more issues because they are being passed around to, as you say, people who don't do the research and dah dah, it's the whole thing. So I actually think there's an as to avid, clearly, dog lovers. I think if we had been set those boundaries, you can only do it if you show up. I absolutely would have been showing up for it. Like if you really want it.

SPEAKER_04 38:23

Not the asshole.

SPEAKER_03 38:23

Oh, oh, definitely not. Yeah, yeah, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_04 38:26

Very fair. Right. Let's go on to story number three.

Story 3: AITA For Making Husband Rehome His Cat?

SPEAKER_04 38:28

Am I the asshole for telling my husband to re-home his cat?

SPEAKER_02 38:31

I mean, I want to say yeah. I want to say yes as well. I will caveat this, okay? If the husband just got a cat and is mistreating that cat, get it out of there, get it somewhere safe. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 38:42

Yeah, very fair.

SPEAKER_02 38:43

But if you're just a hater, yeah, if you just don't want the cat.

SPEAKER_04 38:46

Yeah. My husband and I have been living together for one year. When we moved in together, I brought my three-year-old American bully while he brought his 18-year-old cat. We tried to introduce them to one another by initially separating them, then by introducing them to each other's smells, followed by letting them see each other whilst at a safe distance. They appear to get along, but after a day, the cat began making its dislike for the dog very clear. In response to this, we've taken to keeping the cat and dog separated by gates when there is no one around to supervise them. When we're around, we splashed them with a small amount of water if the cat begins to fight with the dog, which worked for a while, until recently, when the cat became relentless in its efforts to go after the dog, even after being splashed at water. As such, we took the cat to our local vet to assess it for any issues. The vet told us that he's perfectly healthy. Another issue that we've yet to consider is that I'm pregnant. Oh. Sorry, and that's another issue that we have not yet to consider.

SPEAKER_02 39:32

The vet was like on it. He's like, cat's fine, you're pregnant.

SPEAKER_04 39:36

The way this is written, it's it's it's as if they were told to the vet. While I'm not saying that the cat would definitely be nasty towards my baby, the way it has acted towards my dog has caused me to worry. I brought up the idea of taking the cat to a cat sanctuary where it would hopefully be able to find a new home in a relaxing environment and without fear of being euthanized, since we can't take it to any family members. There's about 50 million commas in that sense. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:56

She was really on a stream of consciousness kind of thing.

SPEAKER_04 39:59

Very much so. We argued virtually nonstop about this for days until my husband finally agreed to take his cat to said cat sanctuary. I feel really bad for my husband, however, I do feel like it was the right decision, not only for the dog, but for our future baby, Am I the Asshole?

SPEAKER_03 40:11

This is very nuanced, and it's really hard when you bring two people together with pre-existing animals.

SPEAKER_02 40:17

That cat is so old though. Like taking it to a sanctuary where there's a billion new smells and other cats.

SPEAKER_03 40:24

I know.

SPEAKER_02 40:25

That cat's not getting adopted. I don't care what you say.

SPEAKER_03 40:27

It's very tricky. But I think that like I don't know what options they explored or how quickly these things started, and then they were like, right, we gotta. But I don't think that cat is probably now having a great time.

SPEAKER_04 40:37

And also, I think I think you really do need to take the 18-year-oldness of the cat into account.

SPEAKER_03 40:42

Like, yeah, this is ride it out for another year.

SPEAKER_04 40:44

It's not gonna be over long. And also, if if it was a younger cat, then maybe you'd have to discuss a lot of this. But like your man loses the cat and the dog stays, it just feels a little bit imbalanced.

SPEAKER_03 40:52

I do think you've got to definitely think about it. Myself and Joseph have been together for 17 years, and we um didn't get Remy until we were together for 10 years. We have no kids and we have two dogs, and obviously, even getting a second dog, I was like, this is you know gonna be a little bit hectic. And it's not so much getting a second, it's probably getting her being slight like slightly younger. They are pretty hectic. But like, yeah, it's a big thing. They're not exactly children, but they are a huge responsibility. And I feel like that's what's really tricky with animals is you see people being like, yeah, we'll just kind of figure out and rehome it. And I'm like, well, you wouldn't do that if it was a child.

SPEAKER_04 41:22

It just feels a little bit, I don't know, uh, a little bit imbalanced. And I will say so, Reddit has decided that the verdict is asshole for this person. Do you go? What do you guys think?

SPEAKER_03 41:31

Yeah, I feel like maybe not enough was done. And if it was a dog, would you have re-homed it so quickly? As we said, cat slander. As someone who like sometimes it took me a while to get cats because I used to treat them the same way as dogs didn't go down well. Now I have an understanding of better of cats. I respect them more because I can be a bit calmer with them, you know, let them come to me. Don't chase them around the room and try and pick them up. So sometimes the odd one lets me do it still. Um, but yeah, I think there is a little bit of cat slander.

SPEAKER_04 41:59

Okay, well, I think we've decided on that one, guys. Are you ready for your final Reddit story?

SPEAKER_03 42:02

Let's go.

SPEAKER_04 42:03

Am I the asshole?

SPEAKER_03 42:04

Yes. Yes, John. We've been waiting for it.

SPEAKER_04 42:07

Sean is the asshole. Decided.

Story 4: Jorts The Cat

SPEAKER_04 42:08

Am I the asshole for perpetuating ethnic stereotypes about Jorts?

SPEAKER_02 42:13

This is one of my favourites.

SPEAKER_03 42:14

This is quite a swerve. Have you you do you know this? I know this. I know this. Perpetuating ethnic stereotypes. What are the ethnic stereotypes that we have about jorts?

SPEAKER_04 42:23

Well, I will say jorts is the name of a cat.

SPEAKER_02 42:25

Name of a one-brain celled RN cat.

SPEAKER_03 42:27

Sorry. Yes, okay, so who's Jorts? Tell me. I clearly yours is this is a beautiful cat white.

SPEAKER_04 42:32

We have two workplace cats in one area of our worksite. They add value to the worksite. We all love the cats, and the worksite cat presence is not the issue. One of the cats, Jean, is a tortise shale cat we have had for years. The other cat, Jorts, is a large orange cat on a recent addition.

SPEAKER_03 42:49

Brilliant names.

SPEAKER_04 42:49

Jorts is just kind of a simple guy. For example, Jorts can't open a door even when it's a jar. He shoves it whether it's going in or out. So often he closes the door he's trying to go through.

SPEAKER_02 42:59

Oh my cat used to do that.

SPEAKER_04 43:01

This means he is often trapped inside the place he was trying to exit and meows until he's rescued.

SPEAKER_00 43:05

Oh George.

SPEAKER_04 43:06

My colleague Pam, not her real name, has been spending a lot of time trying to teach Jorts things. The doors thing is the main example. It's a real issue because the cats are fed in a closet and Jorts keeps pushing the door closed. Jean can actually open all the other interior doors since they are a lever type knob, but she can't open this particular door if she's trapped inside the closet. Torty Jean is very nice to poor Orange Jorts, and she is kept busy letting him out of rooms he has trapped himself in. So this seems easy to resolve. I put down a doorstop.

SPEAKER_03 43:33

I'm so invested in this.

SPEAKER_04 43:34

Pam then said I was depriving Jorts of the chance to learn.

SPEAKER_03 43:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 43:39

And kept removing the doorstop. She set up a series of special learning activities for Jorts and tried to put these tasks on the whiteboard of daily team tasks.

SPEAKER_03 43:46

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 43:46

She thinks we need to teach him how to clean himself better and how to get out of minor barriers like when he gets a cup stuck in his head, etc. I love Jorts, but he's just dumb as fuck, and we can't change that. Don't get me wrong, uh, watching her try to teach Jorts how to walk through a door is hilarious, but Gene got locked in the closet twice last week. Yesterday I installed a cat cutout thing in the door, and Pam started getting really huffy. I made a gentle joke about you can't expect Jeans tortoise shell smarts from orange cat jorts, which made Pam furious. She started crying and left the hallway and then sent an email to the group, including volunteers, and went home early. In her email, Pam said I was perpetuating ethnic stereotypes by saying orange cats are dumb and is demanding a racial sensitivity training before she will return. What? Pam is a white person in a mostly minority staff, and no, she is not ginger slash does not have red hair. TL Dior, I'm a the asshole for enforcing an ethnic stereotype by joking that orange cats are often dumb.

SPEAKER_02 44:44

They are though. They are seriously, and Torto Shell's super clever.

SPEAKER_04 44:49

So is this person the asshole for perpetuating ethnic stereotypes about jorts?

SPEAKER_03 44:53

I mean, I don't think so, but I really want to learn more about Pam. Is she getting any actual work done?

SPEAKER_04 44:58

I don't think so. And I also am fascinated to know what this work site is as well.

SPEAKER_03 45:02

That's so funny.

SPEAKER_04 45:03

Just I just imagine him walking in and be like, oh, get the door stopped. That'll that'll fix things. And they're being like, no, give the cat around. He needs to learn. He needs to learn. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:10

The cat needs to cat with the cup stuck on his head needs to learn.

SPEAKER_04 45:14

These turns turn and George is just the ground.

SPEAKER_03 45:17

Poor George. Little Jordan.

SPEAKER_04 45:19

I love that it's Gene and Jordan. That's that's that's incredible. But guys, that just about brings us to uh the end of our final segment. Uh and you know, the end of the end of this episode.

SPEAKER_03 45:29

End of episode 10. I could have stayed here all night.

SPEAKER_04 45:32

Did you guys have a nice time?

SPEAKER_03 45:32

I had a ball. We were just I just felt like we were catching up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 45:36

You know, shite. It was perfect.

Outro

SPEAKER_04 45:38

Guys, before we wrap up, I just want to ask uh, you know, first of all, where can people find you? And do you have anything going on or anything to plug?

SPEAKER_02 45:44

Um you can find me at Lulzi Burn all over the place. Or in your garden. Or in my garden.

SPEAKER_04 45:49

Yeah at the streamer. And Kira, how about yourself?

SPEAKER_03 45:52

I am on, I think, air all of the platforms. Lots of different things on different platforms. So, like mostly kind of fashion y bits, like YouTube and Instagram and things. I don't think I have anything exciting to plug other than me and Jeff. I was gonna say he could call me, but he can just DM me. Yeah, he can DM me.

SPEAKER_04 46:08

He's already he's got the contact details.

SPEAKER_03 46:10

He hasn't happily married and was only lovely. So it's nothing untoward. If you edit down a promo, that's meaning it's like, and then and then it clips and it's like that episode of The Simpsons with Willie and the Cock changes to make him sound like a pervert. No, he was a lovely man.

SPEAKER_04 46:27

I would always go lovely man.

SPEAKER_02 46:29

And then I met Jeff Gold and a chip from his materials wearing only Jordan.

SPEAKER_04 46:40

Thank you very much, everyone, for watching, and thank you very much to our wonderful guests today. Um, please subscribe, please like, please rate uh the podcast wherever you're watching or listening. We're on YouTube, we're on uh Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Here at the Tri channel, we upload videos every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and Wednesday's new episodes of this lovely podcast of the green room. And uh yeah, that's it. I think that's everything. Uh take care, goodbye. Uh meow.