Episode 79: Finding Balance

It’s the thing we are all seeking: Balance. While most of us know we can’t do all the things, we certainly try, don’t we? Work, family, friendships, ministry, rest–-it all feels important. So how do we figure out a healthy way to juggle it all? This week on the podcast, Lisa welcomes guest Wendy Feigl to talk through some principles we can apply to help us find balance in all areas of our lives, from managing our kids’ sports commitments to caring for aging parents. As a wife, business owner, and self-proclaimed soccer mom, Wendy gives us a vulnerable peek into her journey and the valuable lessons God has taught her along the way.

Links:

Take Back Your Time by Christy Wright

https://www.amazon.com/Take-Back-Your-Time-Guilt-Free/dp/1942121563

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hello, and welcome to the first solid ground podcast. I'm your host, Lisa Bonima, and I can't wait to dig into God's truth with you. Let's get grounded. Well, I am just so excited for today's conversation. We have a guest, and this is someone who is not only full of wisdom, but she might just be the friendliest person I know. And I know you're gonna love her if you don't know her already. She is just one of those people you want to hang out with. I mean, she's just so bubbly and so kind and just um so smart, honestly. I'm just so excited that she agreed to even like hang out with me for a little bit today. So, Wendy Feigel, welcome to the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Thank you, Lisa. I'm pretty sure that's the kindest introduction I've maybe ever had. So if we just want to stop here and just go with that, I'll play that for my family and everybody. Yeah. Thank you for having me. Uh, full disclosure when you and Allie started the podcast, I don't know, I didn't know you well at that time. And I said to Allie, I'm officially your closet huge fan already, even before you started. I'm kind of a podcast junkie, and certainly you've proven you have so much wisdom to share with all of us.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

So thanks for inviting me. Oh, you're so kind. And yeah, it's kind of funny because I think you and I became friends through Allie. Like we met each other through Allie before we actually met each other, right? Because she is like, Yeah, she kept saying you need to know each other. Yes, right. I know, I know. And so I'm so glad we get to hang out today. Me too. So I think many of you may already know Wendy. She's been going to Hickory Creek Church. I think you said for like five years, right? Maybe a little bit longer. A little longer, but yes, yeah. Okay. And she is a wife and a mom of three daughters. So right there we're connecting because I have three daughters, and they're just about the same age. Very close. I think we're maybe a couple clicks ahead of you. Um, I know you are a mentor of our Titus in a Titus II ministry, right? You have a uh mentee. Yes, I do. I do. And I know you've also been involved in Bible studies and also um well, Wana, right here and there along the way. And so you're a very active member at Hickory Creek Church. But I also know that you're very busy in other areas of your life, right? You own a business with your husband. Yes. And I know your daughters are extremely talented athletes. So I know that that is a big part of your world. But tell us a little bit more. Like that's my flyby, but you tell us a little bit more about yourself.

SPEAKER_02 2:32

Yes, definitely. Thank you. So I um, well, I have been married to Josh for about 25 years, going on 26. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. Um, and as you said, we have three girls. Our oldest, Ellie, is a freshman in college. Um, Ava is a junior in high school, and Mia is in eighth grade. Um, and I have the opportunity for sure. I used to, I had a background in HR, and then I kind of got promoted when we started a family, I always say, to be a mom for a while. Oh, I love that. I love that. Yeah, and then when we took a flying leap and started Joint Pro, it worked out well for me to be able to use the skills that I had from that. And Joint Pro is a physical therapy. Joint Pro is a physical therapy company. Yeah. Company. Okay. I know what the right word was. Yes, for sure. Um, so I I have the opportunity to work with Josh and I get to stay behind the scenes in doing that, kind of just be his helper and still be a mom. So, in that journey, for sure, I've learned a little bit about work-life balance. I'm still learning for sure. And as you said, um, I also probably wear the title of soccer mom. Our girls love the sport, and they all three happen to play it. And so, as a result, that's definitely something I get to do in my spare time. That's kind of become my um my hobby, if you will. Um I'm trying to think if there's anything else important to know about me. Well, we're gonna get into all that.

SPEAKER_00 3:57

We're gonna get into all that. No, that's a great, great primer, I think. And honestly, I think you did a great job of kind of unpacking, like you've got a full schedule. Like, I mean, you guys you're you're business owners, so you've got a very full work life, and you're working with your husband, right? And then you've got three very busy daughters, and you know, I know you have aging parents, right? And so you're trying to juggle a lot of things. Right, right. And so, which is why we wanted to chat today. I think that that is something that a lot of our listeners can relate to. And there's this idea of like balance, right? Work-life balance, parenting, you know, it's sports balance. Like, how do we balance all of these things that we're all trying to manage all of the time? And it almost feels like I don't know, like a unicorn, right? Is balance actually something that's possible? And in talking with you, I feel like you really have a lot of wisdom in this area, partially because of necessity, because your life is so full. And also, it seems like maybe God has really spoken into your heart about this and you have some wisdom to share. So I wanted to talk about both the idea of balance and also even like time management. I think they kind of go hand in hand. So, but let's start with balance. Like, what's the secret? You know, what is the secret to like how is it even possible? And and what does it even look like? What does balance even look like in a full schedule? Right.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

So, such great questions. And let's start by saying I certainly do not have all the answers. Anything that I'm about to say is certainly learned by failure over time and um, you know, experience to kind of get me to this conversation today. Um I for sure believe that in order to figure out can we find balance, first of all, yes, I believe that we can. Um, but I am a firm believer in first kind of defining what is balance. Um, I spent probably, I mean, up till a few years ago, my whole life, kind of picturing balance, what I think most of us picture it as, um the picture of a tightrope walker, you know, equally holding different things. And in in that picture, it feels like everything has to be done equally all the time. And it's supposed to look really good, and we're supposed to not just juggle those things, but we're supposed to do them really well and we're supposed to smile while we're doing it. Um, that works so well in some seasons and in some weeks of life, even. But when you start to have something shift in your life when one of those um areas or you know, things that you're carrying, when one of those things start to get heavy, you get thrown off balance. And for me, I really was in a period of feeling kind of weary or or run ragged for sure, trying to balance it all in. And I stumbled across a book that I would suggest every listener listen to or read, whichever works in your life. It's called Take Back Your Time by Christy Wright. Okay, I will link that in the show notes too. Yeah, it's worth it for sure. She's a Christian author and speaker, somebody I think highly of in terms of her wisdom. But what I learned from that book and what I feel is the most important thing to share, is her offering a new perspective on what balance looks like. Um, in her book, she shared, instead of trying to do all the things all the time, the most important thing is to do the right things at the right time. For me, as soon as I heard that and I read those words, it kind of became a mantra that I that I clung to. And it also was really evident to me that that was a biblical way of looking at it, maybe for the first time ever, for me.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Yeah. So say that again. So it's not doing things equally. So say you actually say it in her words so that I don't get a goofed up.

SPEAKER_02 7:48

Instead of trying to do all the things all the time, um, and she says it probably a little bit more eloquently, but the point is instead of trying to do all the things all the time, it's doing the right things at the right time. That's amazing. Right things at the right time. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, if we're if we suddenly like allow ourselves to say, hey, what is it that I'm doing and why am I doing it? Then it feels a little bit better when things shift and all of a sudden something gets heavier. Of course it's going to, but I can feel good about being all in on that situation. The other thing gets a little lighter at that time, you know. So it's I think it's allowing myself to let go of the guilt that comes from trying to balance everything perfectly, which to me is a little bit more worldly. And yeah, the other perspective offers a little bit more biblical grounding for me.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

And it just feels more um accessible. I mean, you think about even the idea that we all are picturing a tightrope, that's kind of what it feels like. That's intense. That's an intense way of picturing our lives that we're walking on some sort of tightrope that if one thing goes off kilt or we're gonna like go crashing down, or like even the appearance of trying to look poised and perfect all of the time. Like that's just not that I think that's probably why we're all so stressed out. But your perspective is like, okay, now stop. And really think about what does it look like? What's ever actual um what's possible in this life? Like, how can we actually live in a way that's comfortable and stable, but also like realistic, like we might actually have to lean one way or the other. And that doesn't mean we're gonna come crashing down. Right.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

And in hearing you say that, and you know, listeners, you can't see Lisa and I, but we're actually literally juggling our arms and we're leaning side to side because it's what we all feel. Yeah. And it reminded me that it's what we physically feel as women. I think we are constantly embodying everybody that we love around us. And so as a result, whether we intend to or not, we are shouldering the stress of our family. So for me, what it was um helpful to see and to understand was to say, hey, when my daughter comes home crying today and that throws off my dinner plans, right? Holding her in my arms and saying it's okay is the right thing to do at the right time. And does that mean that dinner's late? Yes, it does. But instead of feeling upset about that, it's allowing yourself to say, hey, you did the right thing. So at the end of the day, all of our intentions, you know, our our plans are usually, it's good to plan. I think it's important and mature and strategic and necessary. But I also believe that I am very convicted in the need to say it's okay to let go of what doesn't go our way and be present in the opportunity, you know, that's put in front of us.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

Yeah, those like holy invitations or interruptions, right? That God places in our path is um, yeah, we have to be aware of those. That's part of being a good steward too, and part of being, you know, um in this world as Christians is making looking for those opportunities. I just love that perspective and I love that definition. I think that's a great reframing that I know I personally needed to hear. And so, okay, so that's balance doing the right thing at the right time. But then of course there's like real life time management stuff. Like I personally struggle in this area, and that's why I know I need this book in my life. Actually, I have this book in my life because I think last time you and I really had a time to sit down and talk, you brought up this book, which is why we're here today. Right. And I went and bought it and it's like on my stack of books next to my bed. But anyway, I digress. So, can you talk through that a little bit? Like you had mentioned leaving room for these holy um interruptions, um, but also like managing our time well and being good stewards of that. So, let's talk about being a good steward of our time. You know, how do we do that well? How do we do it in a way that that honors God and also like helps us get the things done we actually need to get done?

SPEAKER_02 11:54

Well, again, I want to be very clear that the only reason I have a chance to speak on this is because I have failed so many times. So let's just put that out there. But in my journey and in the opportunities he's given me to learn a little bit about this specific topic, uh, for me it's been helpful to really peel back and to say, whatever it is I'm trying to determine in terms of my schedule or balance as we're talking about, it's always asking, what's my why? So is what I'm doing in line with my why? Well, if I don't know, you know, why I want to do something, I should not do it. You know, it's that it's that sermon series that Pastor Scott's going through right now is so perfect for this kind of concept. And it just applies in every area. Balance is for sure one of those. Um, it's it's talking about, hey, why do I believe what I believe? Why am I choosing to do this with my time? And so if I know what my why is, my why is I love God, I love my family, I have principles that matter to me, then as a result, everything I choose to do kind of needs to be checked against that. And if it doesn't, we end up feeling so scattered. Now, I want to be very clear, I still feel very scattered a lot of days. Um, this is not some sort of magic principle that's gonna make your days perfect or take anything away. In fact, it's not that at all. For me, it's rather just understanding what it means that there is, you know, peace that transcends understanding from Christ alone, that there is an opportunity if we are seeking him first to say, hey, in the midst of this, how do I find the calm? And for me, it's by choosing to do the things that matter the most.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

Yeah, because you and I talked offline and you had talked about the idea of like protecting your yes. And so I think what you're saying is that before you say yes, the first thing you ask is why? Why am I saying yes to this? Yeah. Or why am I thinking about saying yes to this, or why is saying yes to this a good idea? Is that kind of what you're saying? Sure.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

That's a much better way to say it.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

Yes, no, I love that. And it is true. And so um I will also say I am a natural yes girl. My natural tendency, absolutely yes, yep, say is that I want to say yes to everything. Uh, and I learned really early on in my marriage and in parenting, I would see the flaw in that. I wanted to say yes to everything. Yes, I'll be a part of this activity, yes, I'll be a part of this, you know, parent club. And eventually it was just so evident to me that my yeses were impacting, you know, our lives in a way that was negative. It was twofold, it was not the right thing to do. So I have certainly had to learn and grow in my ability to exercise the word no and to form boundaries and to be able to say, I want to do all these things, but for right now, I just cannot. Um, you know, when we were talking in the introduction, I wana is an example. Josh and I had an opportunity to serve in Iwana. We loved it. It was so much fun. It was when our kids were in it, also. It worked for our family. Um, as that season changed, it didn't work out as well anymore. It didn't mean I didn't want to do it. Right. It just was not the right thing for that season. So I had to like say no, you know, and it's hard, I think, because for me at least, if I'm being honest, so often it looks better to say yes. It so often makes us appear like we can do it all. So I think if I'm really peeling the onion back and being vulnerable, saying no is also a really big matter of pride. It's being willing to say, I'm not the most important thing. I don't need to be seen as if it's all together, because by the way, it isn't anyway. Um, but it's most important to kind of stop and for this season get this one thing right, you know, whatever that is for you.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

Yeah, and that does all point back to doing the right thing at the right time. And so that's a great example of because I can really relate to that. I want to say yes to everything.

SPEAKER_01 16:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

Because that is my heart's desire. Is I think we all kind of want to do it all. Some of it is because we want to be seen as someone who can do it all, or we want to tell ourselves we can do it all, we got this, but you can't actually, and it's a humble and it's a hard thing to admit. Like, I actually am a limited human who can't do all of these things. And as a mom and a wife, it's like my yes is, you know, me putting stress in my life affects everyone. And so, yeah, the the wiser choice is to really think through those. And although it feels like you're letting the person down that you say no to, there's already so many people that you're actually serving well by saying no. Right. So you have to let go of that too. It's like someone's gonna be happy with you and someone is not, and that's gonna have to be okay because you've worked with the Lord and you he knows your heart in it, and you know your heart in it, right? And it's gotta be enough.

SPEAKER_02 17:06

Right. And a couple of things made me think as well. Just the reminder, I'm sure we've all heard this before, but every time we say yes to something, we're saying no to something else, whether we know it or not, whether we realize it or not. And so it's important to kind of take a pause. That's another area I struggle in. Um, I want yeah, I want to just go, go, go. I want to say yes, yes, yes, or or of course there's a way. Of course we can find a way to get that done. So I think it takes some discipline to sort of pause and think about the decision. Um, I would also say we're, you know, we're we're talking about the yes versus the no. You have to check yourself and see where you need to be stretched. For me personally, I need to be stretched sometimes in saying no, because that's harder for me. For somebody else, it might be harder to say yes. And in that case, I would really encourage you to pray about that as well. So I do think for each of us in different seasons at different times, it's not that it's the yes or the no. It's the need to pause and the need to see God. For me, that comes from quiet moments in the morning. It comes from asking my husband for his opinion and his direction. Uh it is understanding God's order in my life and choosing to walk in that. If I don't do those things in order and I instead kind of run ahead of, you know, those steps that are necessary, that's when I usually get it wrong.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

Yeah, that is so well said. It really is. I I think that that is such a good reminder in all of this that this is not just a like a cute little phrase we can just plug and play in our lives. It's so unique to each of us, and it all needs to be grounded in our relationship with the Lord and how he is growing us. And sometimes that is saying the hard no, and sometimes that's saying the uncomfortable, uncertain yes. And it just depends on where he's leading you, but you only know that if you're in relationship with him and putting yourself in a position to hear his guidance, and so it's all got to be grounded in that, like all things, right? And so what a great reminder that that is always a good use of our time is being with him and and putting it before him. So it's not just pausing and asking the question of ourselves, it's pausing and asking him to lead us in that. Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

And and just in hearing you echo that back, I feel like that's exactly why this particular catchphrase, the wisdom in the book, yeah, was so helpful to me because it was the first time that I felt like this tangible um, you know, way of thinking, doing the right things at the right time is how to finally feel some balance. That was the first time I had ever felt that there is an opportunity to get this concept and that it applies in every single area. So it applies in my home, it applies in my work, it applies in decisions with our kids or my extended family. Um, and and it matters because it allows me to do all the things um at the right time. Yeah. Yeah, that's so good. And sometimes at the wrong time, for sure. Yeah, in fact, most days I still do things at the wrong situation. Let's be very clear about that.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

Well, you know, I think you transitioned as well. I think one of the things I really wanted us to chat about too today is, you know, finding balance in our own lives is hard enough. But then as parents, you know, we also are tasked with helping our kids find balance. And I I want to talk to you specifically because I do know that you and your family are really um immersed in this like sports journey, right? Like your girls are like elite athletes, like they're very talented soccer players and have been invited and given a lot of opportunities and a lot of talents. And so I want to, and I think that's just something that a lot of people can relate to. A lot of our kids are involved in sports, and even what's asked of our kids in sports is not what it was 20 years ago. You know, there's still like there's year-round baseball now, and there's, you know, there's fall ball, and you know, there's just constant like pressure to like be this great athlete. And how do you balance all of that, knowing that I know you still highly value church, highly value um, you know, home life. So give us a little bit of insight into some of the things that you've used to help teach this balance like to your kids, and also like how does that work out when you have a full like sports schedule in the midst of you know them having to go to school and do homework?

SPEAKER_02 21:55

Right, right. It is hard, in my opinion. I just want to kind of sit in that for a minute and just say to anybody listening, it doesn't really have to be sports. I mean, yes, my kids happen to love soccer. That's a journey that they are on individually, but it could be music, it could be academics, you know, there are so many different things that our kids will have talents in and that they'll be kind of led into. And so then the challenge, like you said, for sure for all of us, becomes how do we walk beside them in that journey that's now their own? It's been about understanding for them, just like it is for us. What's your why? Why are you choosing to do this? Is it something that you are excited to say yes to? Because if you're saying yes to this, it does mean saying no to other things. Um sports becomes an example or an opportunity for the kids to then kind of grow in their own journey to say, hey, I am now juggling more than one thing. I have to go to school and I have to go to practice. And so I have to figure out can I do both of those things well? Some weeks are gonna be heavier, you know, in one direction or the other. And they have to kind of start to learn how that looks. Um, for Josh and I, you know, our motto has always been that we're gonna match them stride for stride, but we're never going to outpace them in terms of their effort. So balance in our family really looks like, you know, allowing them to have some struggle, to have some opportunity to work hard, um, to learn from the times that are the most challenging. Josh is certainly much better at this than I am, and he has helped me to really grow in this. We kind of always joke that I'm the weak link in our family. Um, I I love my crew's competitive nature, and so I get on board the best that I can. And in doing that, I really get to kind of join in the fun of seeing them richly use how they were uniquely gifted, as long as we don't get in the way of that. Um, so there's a really fine line, in my opinion, as parents, to say, I want to see you use the gifts that you were given. I am determined to um allow you to be sharpened, which means I'm going to allow you to fail. That's where I struggle. I think most moms might, you know, join me in that. I don't want to see them hurting.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

Right.

SPEAKER_02 24:23

Whatever activity that they're going to pursue, if they're going to try hard to be the best at what they do, they're going to meet failure for sure. We all are every day. And so, in that journey, the importance of pointing them to Christ in every moment to say, as it gets heavy, the only thing that is going to keep you from falling right off that balance beam that we're all learning to walk is to say, I trust you, God. I trust you with my life. I trust you to say that you have created me for more than this experience and this sport or activity, insert what you might for your family, and to make sure that their identity remains in Christ alone, despite the opportunities that they encounter. And the reason I think that applies to balance, because that, you know, instead of we could talk about sports all day, right, Lisa? We were kind of joking about that. That might be a podcast in itself. For sure. But one of the reasons that that really matters in terms of coming back to balance for the kids, you know, helping them to understand what is the right thing at the right time for them. I think that's the most important thing if we're trying to just steward well our job as parents. Um, we had a couple of practical examples that um I feel are worth sharing. You know, there are times that the yes is important, there are times that the no is important. Um, in in terms of like practical examples with sports and life balance, one of the ways that we've tried to instill for the girls how to kind of keep the most important things first place when we're traveling potentially on the weekends or having to, you know, follow through on commitments that we've said yes to, there's still a way to listen to church in the car. There is still a way to talk about um, you know, that biblical principle as we're going. Like, what does that mean to you? And and we've had some really rich conversations and experiences in those moments. I also feel like when we are around being willing to be up early or be at church, even if we have a commitment later on in the day, as parents, it is important that we model our choices. Um, I feel convicted about that a lot. And so I think it's really something that we can all learn on. But we have to be purposeful in our decision making. Yeah. Um and so for sure, if our kids can see that model, then they can start to like figure out, hey, when I'm on my own, whether it's at college or in starting my own life, and I have different things, whether it's sports or job at that point, hopefully those lessons will carry over. So again, the balance isn't really specific to sports, it isn't specific to work-life balance, it's just getting right your principles.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

Yeah, and what I'm hearing in all of this, which you and I both already know, but I'm even seeing it just play out in your words and even in the way that you are parenting, is that really the way we find balance is is through that relationship with God. Like he has gotta be our solid ground. Like that is actually the only way to make good decisions and also to like sit in the heart of the no's and to trust in the uncomfortable yeses. Like, you know, I think he is truly the only way to find balance. And so I wanted you to share the verse because I feel like in my mind we've already shared it, but we haven't actually, because I know you and I have talked this through, and it just is playing out so like vividly to me, even just in the what you're sharing. So it was from Proverbs, right? Proverbs 16 9. Do you mind reading that for us? Yes, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

So in Proverbs 16, 9, it says, In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. And I feel like, you know, like we've been talking about this whole episode, right? It's exactly what that verse is saying. So we have amazing plans, lofty plans, um oftentimes colorful plans, and yet God has a better plan all the time, or a better, perfect um order for our steps. So even if I think I know exactly what this week should look like, inevitably somebody gets sick, or you know, our boss holds us long at work, or our projects have a deadline that changed. There are a lot of things that are outside of our control that are outside of our plan. But if we take a minute, we take that pause and we're prayerful, we're willing to seek advice from trusted um Christian friends and and mentors. If we are seeking Christ first, I firmly believe he will order our steps if we ask him to. And that in doing that, we will find peace in the chaos. Because it won't not be chaotic. It still will be chaotic. In this world, we will have trouble for sure. That's one thing we know.

SPEAKER_00 29:21

Yeah, but we can take heart because he's overcome the world. Right. I love that you chose this verse because, you know, currently we're actually doing a study on Proverbs on Tuesdays. So I'm like all in the Proverbs right now mode. But this first verse actually is a balance, right? You've got half of the verse is in a heart, in his heart, a man plants his course. And the other half is, but the Lord determines his steps. And so it's this the Christian walk is that juxtaposition, right? Like we are to be good stewards of our time, our resources, our talents, our gifts, but yet also and like making our best decision, you know, that we can, having all, you know, using everything to the best of our ability. But then the other half of it's trusting that the Lord is gonna work it out. So even if we make a wrong choice or an unwise choice or say yes to a no or no to a yes, you know, that he is going to lead our way to the right path, you know. Like, you know, we can't lean on our own understanding all the time, right? Like in all our ways, if we acknowledge him, he will make our path straight. So that means sometimes we're gonna make the wrong choices, right? You know, but he is still sovereign over all of it. And that is such a grounding truth, yes, that no matter what we plant, God's will is going to prevail. And that could feel frustrating, I guess. But I think it's also for me, it's a peace of mind because I don't always know if I'm making the right choice. Most of the time I don't, you know, and so knowing that God's got our back and he's got something good in store, but not even good, but even better than anything we could plan. Right. That doesn't let us off the hook. Like we still have a responsibility to be obedient and to be wise and to seek him and to do our best to to say the right yes and to determine the right time for certain things. But we do have this hope, right, right, of the the Lord's hand in it all. And so I just think that's such a beautiful, like, way to wrap all of this up.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

You know, I mean, because that is like it's our anchor, right? I think that you and I talked about that. Like, this is what anchors us in the end of the day. Wouldn't you agree?

SPEAKER_02 31:26

Like, yeah. I I love all of that. It makes me think of a couple of things, it makes me be reminded. Um, I I often ask myself right now in this season, um, God is saying to me, Do you trust me? Do you trust me with your schedule? Do you trust me with your girls? Do you trust me with your marriage and your business? And and if I am not willing to say, you know, I have to admit that when I feel the need to control, that I am not trusting, in other words. So that's my most important thing to say yes to. And it's the thing I struggle with for sure. I I believe probably we all do if we're being honest. Um it is hard, but it is so comforting to just pause and and I would encourage you wherever you are, if you're in your car, if you're doing dishes, whatever it is you're doing, just take a minute and say, you know, God is saying, do you trust me with whatever it is, with your kid not feeling quite right? Maybe there was a rejection today, maybe there was something wonderful that happened that wasn't right for your family. Do you trust me with the choices? You know, and so just for me, I mean, and I'm saying that because I have to ask it constantly, and I'm consistently um convicted in this area because I want to run ahead, especially when it seems like things are lining up. Um, so I feel like that's that's huge. The other thing that you said that I just love is especially if we're, you know, kind of rounding it out, our our hope, you know, our hope is what anchors us for sure. For me, you know, the hope of heaven, the reminder that this life is short, the reminder that we just get a day at a time in our home, we say a lot just today. It's kind of uh something we sort of chant to each other when things feel heavy. So we're not expected to manage more than a day at a time. We need to rest in between those, you know, 12-hour periods or or however long our our hours are in the day go. So I feel like again, just kind of reminding ourselves to say, just today, and do you trust me? And then and then again, is what I'm doing today the right thing for the right reason?

SPEAKER_00 33:44

That's so well said. So good. Okay, so I mean, you're kind of like our um unofficial expert, but you still have to live it out. So I'm gonna move us into that. How will you live this out? Like where do you feel convicted right now or encouraged or challenged to live this out?

SPEAKER_02 34:03

I think for sure um we were sort of sharing offline uh and without spending too much time talking about it. Personally, I'm in a season where my parents are um aging rapidly and my responsibilities have have shifted as a result. And so I am I have an opportunity to spend a lot more time with them and have more responsibilities to come beside them. And in doing that, my live it out really is my need to find joy in those moments and see them as opportunities to just savor this relationship and you know, my mom and dad that mean the world to me. They've given everything to me their whole lives, and it's my turn, and I and I am lucky to get to have those moments, but from a worldly perspective, it interrupts my day and it throws a lot of things that are normal kind of off course. And so I feel very convicted about that. You know, my live it out needs to be that I stop and when I'm driving there, I think probably say a prayer and just be present in the moments I get, and so that I can live without regret that I get to spend those times with them, you know.

SPEAKER_00 35:16

Yes, remembering what the right thing is and the right time. It's like looking at what God has given you in this moment, and and in this case it's serving your parents. I mean, like you said, in your mind, you know this is a holy honor and opportunity. But sometimes, yeah, our humanness sneaks in and it's like, oh, but I have this, this, and this to do. Right. So thank you for sharing that. That's really vulnerable and so relatable. Um, for me, you know, I think I'm pretty good at being present, but I think it's the other side of it. Like I'm not good at managing my time because of that. Like I tend to like not get a lot done because I'm so invested in whatever's in front of me. And so I really think I could go on the other side of the spectrum and really get better about protecting my yeses and making sure that I am doing all of the things that I really need to be doing in a day and not getting stuck in one thing. And so I think I'm gonna actually pick up the book that we I bought, you know, a year ago, I think it was. Right. And and start reading through that and starting to um implement some of that into my life. I think the structure would be helpful for me because um I think I can lean too far the other way sometimes, and then things don't get done. And then that adds stress because now I'm not doing all of the things that are asked of me right now, because I'm letting something come in and take precedence that maybe is important, but maybe actually not the most important thing that God has for me right now. So um, I'm challenged to pick up that book because you're telling me it's a game changer.

SPEAKER_02 36:52

It's a game changer.

SPEAKER_00 36:53

It is a good one. Yeah, I love that. Well, thank you for coming on. This was such a fruitful conversation. And I know we probably could have chatted for like three hours more. And so I know we'll probably have you back on because of course, like we got to talk about the sports thing. And honestly, the aging parents thing is a real thing too. So, um, but I love your insight just in this introducing us to this idea, but we're definitely gonna have her back, guys. Don't worry.

SPEAKER_02 37:17

Well, it was fun to be here and honored to sort of just learn from you. And I think just to wrap up, I just wanted to say, like, thank you for the opportunity to sit and talk about it because God is so big and he will work all things out if we're willing to just kind of like trust him. Um, so for me, this was a tangible example this morning of saying, like, I just need to take a pause. I'm learning so much from Lisa. I have a chance to reflect on these principles that matter, but I needed to hear them myself this morning again. So I got creative in how he speaks to us sometimes, isn't he?

SPEAKER_00 37:50

Right. Oh, well, you are so generous. Could you mind praying us out?

SPEAKER_02 37:54

I'd be honored. Dear God, I just thank you so much for who you are. I thank you for the quiet moment this morning to spend with Lisa and to learn so much about these basic truths that you have outlined for us. I thank you for the way you speak to us through books and speakers and mentors. I thank you for the opportunity to be in community to encourage and sharpen one another. And I pray spot so specifically for anyone listening that might feel a little bit out of balance or overwhelmed or weary. And I just pray that you would send out just a reminder and a calm in their hearts. First, that they're not alone, and more importantly, that you are just big enough to hold all of these things in your perfect plan for us. And so we just thank you for who you are. We thank you for the chance to learn from each other, and we look forward to seeing how you'll continue to work those things out in our lives. In your name we pray. Amen. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

Okay, listeners, life is busy, but God is our anchor. He alone is our solid ground.