Episode 67: Stepping Into The River

For all the achievers out there, this episode is for you. After years of chasing (and winning) earthly accolades, including an Emmy and several Olympic weightlifting titles, it wasn’t until Janah Esquivel gave her life to Christ that she discovered true victory. Listen in this week as Janah gives her full testimony, how small steps of obedience ultimately led her into a life of total surrender and full trust in God and His amazing plans. As Janah explains, her strength and confidence are now found in Christ and what He did for her on the cross – a prize she didn’t have to earn and one that she will enjoy for all of eternity.

Links:

Living Hope:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f2FXxDVO6w

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:05

Hello, and welcome to the Pur Assembly Crown Podcast. I'm Lisa Bonema, and today we have a special guest who's gonna share her testimony, and I cannot wait for you to hear it. Let's get started. Well, hello, listeners.

SPEAKER_03 0:23

Welcome back to the podcast. I have a special guest with me today that I just can't wait for you to hear. Can't wait for you to hear her story, and I can't wait for some of you maybe to meet her for the first time. She is a newer member of Hickory Creek Church, and but she is involved. Let me just tell you, this girl did not take long to get involved. She is part of the Titus II mentorship program. She is part of a small group. She volunteers in the cafe and on the Fishes and Loves Ministry, which is new to me. I didn't know we had like an official name for the ministry. And I know that her son uh also attends Reach, the youth group that we have on Wednesday evenings. And he even serves as like a junior leader at Iwana. So welcome to the podcast. Jana, introduce yourself.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Hello. Um, my name is Jana Escavelle, and I am really thrilled to be here. This podcast has been a beacon for me in my walk. So thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_03 1:25

I will say you have been such an encouragement. Like you would find me at church and tell me I'm like, oh, she's actually listening. Because some people just try to be nice, but I feel like you actually were listening. Like you would bring up stuff from the podcast. I'm like, okay, well, even if we only have one listener, we know we always have Jana.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

It's true. I kind of feel like as a new believer, you can't read through the Bible in a short amount of time. But having her solid ground or other podcasts or worship music really is the way that you can, in my opinion, grow in that faith and grow in understanding Jesus' heart.

SPEAKER_03 2:04

Yeah, it's it's an interesting time we live in because it is a way to feel connected in like a community, even though you're just listening. But there is something special about listening to a podcast. And I think that's why I love it so much that it's so like a hyper local thing that we do in our church, because you can put faces, right? To some of the stories and the people who are talking. And actually, Allie was kind of like our conduit. She's the one who introduced us.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Yes, that's true. I met Allie and Kyle and their entire family through uh the club that we play lacrosse through. It's the whole thing. It I guess. Does he do does Leo still play at lacrosse? He does. Okay. He enjoys the season, um, but he does not play year-round or anything. And he especially loves that actually Kyle is his coach and he gets to play with Jake. So he will keep playing until he cannot play for Coach Kyle.

SPEAKER_03 2:58

Oh, I love that. Yeah, he loves it. Kyle definitely is gifted as a coach. Definitely. Yes. So tell us a little bit more about yourself. So I think I listed all the ways you're involved, right? Yes. Did I miss anything?

SPEAKER_01 3:10

No. Um, that pretty much sums it up. Yeah, that's a lot. I suppose, but I think that also they are not daily um, you know, engagements. So it makes it easy to sign up to bring somebody a meal or, you know, serve in the cafe. I'm usually the coffee refiller between 10 and 11. So if you have hot coffee at 10:30 or 11:45, high five, you know.

SPEAKER_03 3:38

I love it. I did not know that you did so on Sundays do you do this or on Wednesdays?

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Uh Sundays. So usually um once to twice a month. I'm on the schedule. Yeah. Got it. Like you're like a behind the scenes kind of girl. I I I kind of like behind the scenes. I mean, I also love the spotlight.

SPEAKER_03 3:54

I was gonna say, I mean, you are like an extrovert in my mind.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

Very much so. I I feel like being able to do all of those things is really just that I love people. I want to know all of the people, I want to do all of the things, I want to experience all of the things. And I think the greatest part about going to church and how it would be unlike when I went to church as a child is it's about the community and it's about the relationships. And it gives me opportunity to surround myself with believers and talk to people about whatever we just covered in service or anything else.

SPEAKER_03 4:35

So it's yeah, that connection piece is so such an important part of church. Yeah. Some people just go for the sermon, and it's like you're missing out on what I think God always intended the church to be. Definitely. So I love that even as I mean, you would consider yourself a newer believer, right? Yes. That you already understood and understand the importance of being connected and how that just strengthens your own personal faith walk as you walk with others.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

So tell us more about you. You got a hobby? Yes, I am lucky enough to have my husband Dwayne. We just celebrated 22 years of marriage, which I'm born. Yes. Yes. Great. And we have a 13-year-old son named Leo, who um the Sparks group would probably know uh for Iwana. And we have lived in New Lennox for 11 years. Dwayne grew up a little bit further up north. I grew up in the south suburbs, and we moved to New Lenox shortly after uh we moved back here from Las Vegas. We lived there for a little while after. Oh, I did not know that. Yes. We we have we have done it. You've lived some life, girl.

SPEAKER_03 5:44

Well, and you love, okay, listeners, I have to tell you. Next to Jana, just on the like a little further down from her microphone, is a bowl of sourdough starter. Or what do you even call it? Yeast is it what is it called? Oh, that is actual bread. That's actual bread. This is like dough. This is dough. I don't know any of this stuff that she brought with her because she has to like stretch and I don't know. So this is part of your life. Tell the tell the people. This is and it's beyond just a hobby at this point.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Yes. So, in addition to being a wife and a mom, um, I recently started and opened a sourdough bakery out of an act of obedience after praying to God for a way out of corporate America. And um, one morning I just woke up very convicted and told my husband that I need to start baking sourdough as a business. And that was earlier this year, probably January or February. And um, yeah, so here we are, you know, nine months in. Well, and I know that you're well loved.

SPEAKER_03 6:49

I think I brought your name up to a couple of the staff members that we as I was like getting all the things ready for our podcast today and just making sure all the equipment worked, and they're like, you're a fan favorite right there. Because they're all like, Jana, the bread. I mean, you are like synonymous with sourdough. So you've done well with your branding.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

I well, you know, I I will say that this was really born out of the love that I had with once I learned how to make it, to share it with people. And um I feel like because God put this on my heart and I do want to give to the community, it's very hard, you know, to kind of get out there sometimes. But the church at Hick, like our people at Hickory Creek really just mean so much to me. The church means so much to me. So to gift the bread to them for what they do for all of us every week is really nothing. It's just a small gesture, in my opinion, to say thank you because they changed my life.

SPEAKER_03 7:51

I know they appreciate it. And I know I appreciate it. I mean, I got a loaf today, girls. Like, I am happy. Like, I it's you know, it's beautiful. It's a beautiful picture of like the nourishment and just sharing the nourishment you feel you get from church and then being able to offer that back to them. It's just such a beautiful picture of the way God works in our lives, you know, how we all can offer something to each other. Yes. So I think there's so many reasons why I I wanted to invite you on the pod. But um, the biggest thing was you have such a powerful testimony and you have such a fascinating life. And I know this is the part you don't love to talk about, but I mean, I think you gotta tell the people. I mean, I you have like an Emmy, you're like an Olympian and have like world medals. Like, I mean, like you're a weightlifter. Like, these are all fascinating things. Tell us a little bit about, and and I know a lot of this is just groundwork for how the Lord then, like, you know, invite invaded your life, right? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

But this is like so before that, like a lot of uh like earthly achievements, right? Indeed. Um, I would say jokingly, it's the tales of a serial achiever. Yeah. Uh but maybe that's the title, maybe that's our title. That's fabulous. Or maybe your book someday. Just saying. Maybe you just never know. I mean, don't put a challenge in front of me because likely I will like jump into the river. Okay. Okay. Or step into the river. Because um, yeah, I mean, I gosh, I don't even know where to start. I guess really, yes, I do have an Emmy. So tell me about that. It is uh I worked at a TV station while we were living in Las Vegas, and I was the marketing manager. So really I was responsible for if you've ever seen a logo on the weather map or a sponsorship of an upcoming event. That's what I did. I was like a conduit between the sales team and like our marketing department.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:50

And we had this program where you could tune in and earn rewards, and the more you watched, like we would give code words and things like that. So um, me and my colleague wrote a uh a commercial or a spot as we call it in the bids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's letting us in on the lingo. Yes. Um, and you know, it's not as glamorous, it might sound, because you have to fill out the application to have them review your spot. You pay for them to review it, but you do get to go to a really fun award ceremony. It was the Pacific Southwest um Emmys. They have them for every region in the television business. And yeah, our it won. I was just like, of all the things that I might do in this world, this was definitely not one of them. It was a great surprise, and um, it was a lot of fun. So that is fun. And you're also like a world champion weightlifter. Yes. So from the between the time that we left Las Vegas, uh, we became parents, and um, I don't know, I was doing CrossFit for a few years, and a girlfriend of mine was like, You should do Olympic weightlifting. You're so strong, you can already qualify for national and international events because they have an entire category for master's athletes at 35 plus. Okay. And so I after uh, you know, doing many CrossFit competitions, I felt like I had peaked as a CrossFitter when I lost a competition by like one point. And I was like, that was the best I was ever gonna be. So I did start doing Olympic weightlifting, which is basically where we compete in the sport. Um, and you compete in two lifts, the snatch and the clean and jerk, and you have three attempts on competition day in each lift to get a total, which would be the total score of both of those lifts. All the weights that you did.

SPEAKER_03 11:51

So the goal is as much weight as much weight as a score that you can get.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

Okay. Yes. So um yeah, I can't say I was like super successful. I had a lot to learn, but I was pretty determined and I had great coaches. And uh fast forward six years, I won two world titles, a Pan American title, I won multiple, or I was placed second nationally a handful of times. I have a couple state records. You know, I kind of joke that it is just the matter of um the pool of women who are in their 40s that are really strong, is very small, you know. But at the same time to be able to do those things in my early 40s and now into my late 40s really is incredible. And I learned a lot of life lessons and a lot of discipline, and really it was a dream come true because I wanted to be an athlete my entire life. And um I had to put in the work. I mean, it was a lot of work and a lot of training, and I'm still recovering from that.

SPEAKER_03 13:03

I mean, that's how I kept thinking the words that came to mind were like, you're saying it's a small pool of women, but oh my goodness, like don't it's not like you just like oh, there's no one else, like that's a lot of work, like that requires training and sacrifice, and even like probably like a certain level of like eating a certain way, yes, right, to like maintain the muscle and to keep gaining that muscle, right? And for recovery, yeah, all of that. So you're not like cramping and all of that, like there's so much that goes into it that probably most people don't. It's not just oh, you're strong and you just have to learn how to lift heavy weights, it's a lifestyle choice.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

It definitely is, and I will say, um, I loved that discipline, but it also like ruled my life. Yeah. I mean, it was all consuming. I didn't have any friends because I couldn't go out and play. I needed to be in bed by nine. You know, I had my son and my husband, so trying to manage all of that and the nutrition, the sleep, the recovery, all of the things like I was tired all the time and didn't even know it. But I I had a lot of fun. I really did. It was like the last few years were so enjoyable, and um, sometimes I miss that girl. Yeah, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_03 14:11

Yeah, it's a part of your story, not the whole story, right? But it is a part of it for sure. That was a really big, like, like you said, like it required a lot of sacrifice, and we often learn a lot from those seasons for sure. I mean, there was achievement, but you took a lot of work to get there.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

It did, and I learned a lot of emotional self-control in that. It required so much discipline to, I think I never knew how to control my fight or flight through most of my life. So to be learning, I what I always say is I learned a lot of lessons I should have learned probably growing up in my mid-40s. And the greatest gift that came out of that is like I can teach my son, I can be the coach that I probably needed or wanted when I was younger and say the things that these kids need to hear about whether or not like believing in themselves or right now I'm on the you cannot do it for your own glory. Yeah, you can only do it for God's glory. You will never achieve what you want to achieve if you are doing it for yourself, because there will always be something holding you back. So that I mean, one of the greatest lessons that I learned from that was powerful to really, you know, like you have to use the gifts that you were given to glorify God.

SPEAKER_03 15:30

Yeah, and I can see how that season, like you said, it stretched you like physically and mentally. But then let's talk about the spiritual part, which you've already kind of wonderfully like led us into. So, knowing all of this, knowing this was your life, you kind of were achieved an achiever, you were a competitor, you were successful, you knew work, you know, you're willing to work for what you wanted, you're a goal setter. When and where and how did kind of God enter into the picture?

SPEAKER_01 15:55

Yeah, so I grew up in the Catholic Church and I made all of my sacraments, and I would not say like I always believed in God, but I definitely was not faithful in any sort of way, and I definitely did not have any sort of relationship with Jesus. But I would say my first real encounter with God was um my husband and I were struggling to get pregnant, and I had been taking some fertility medications, and it was gonna be the last time that we could do this before we had to take the step to do IVF. And I laid in bed one night, knowing I just like took the last bit of my medication, and I was like, God, can you please just show me that I can get pregnant so that I can take this step, knowing that it was gonna end up being very costly for us. And uh a few weeks later I got a positive pregnancy test. Wow, yes, and it was really a prayer answered, but then a few weeks after that, I was having a uh emergency surgery because I had an ectopic pregnancy. So essentially the egg had fertilized inside of my fallopian tube. Yes, that's that's life-threatening. Yes, yeah. I I mean it came on very sudden, and the doctor basically came in and said there there's no other option other than to do surgery right now. And for as traumatizing as that was, I don't think I shed a tear because I felt like God had answered my prayers. You know, my one cast, my one prayer that I like asked for. And I think for a few weeks after that, I probably went to church and then I probably stopped going. And you know, fast forward um a few years, we did ultimately move back to Chicago from Las Vegas and we went through IVF and we were gifted I always say my most precious gift with our son. And uh yeah, I should have probably kept going to church, you know. I heard the call many times um since then, but it didn't really stick until I met Allie and uh not not just Allie, you know, the some other families from Lincoln Way Lacrosse, which is where our kids play through. Um, they all attended Hickory Creek. And um, so I started going in October of 2023. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

I I love hearing that it was through sports. Yeah. I think that nowadays people can get really judgy about people's overcommitment to sports, now it's taking over Sundays and all the things. And some of that is valid and true, but it also is a place of connection and community. And and for for you, God used it as a way to like open your eyes a little bit more. Yes. Um, to put people in front of you to invite you, right? I mean, and to to give you safe spaces to talk about that, right? So, what was like a turning point then?

SPEAKER_01 19:13

So after attending church, so did Allie invite you? Uh or did you just go? Exactly. I mean, I think I think at some point I just texted her and I was like, I think I'm gonna go. She I mean, Allie's Allie, the quintessential hostess always. And she probably did say, Come check it out or something, or text me. Or so uh yeah, I think I texted her. I'm like, I'm gonna go to church tomorrow. And I've been going ever since. Yeah, so it's uh it's great. And to think back, I mean, so that was October, and I really just had been going. I religiously went every Sunday, or I tried to, um, but it really wasn't until March is when I would say like the real invasion began. And I mean, I was understanding, and I think I heard somewhere like um to pray on the way to church, God, please uh allow me to hear what I need to hear today. And um at some point in March, I was like preparing for a weightlifting meet. I was kind of going through some struggles with my family and relationships, and I was generally just feeling overwhelmed. And like every other story, I honestly just looked up to the sky and I was like, God, I cannot do this alone. That I have been trying. That I have been trying my own way. But I can't do this alone anymore, and I need your help, and I need you to be with me. And shortly after that, I think, is when I filled out an application or filled out the application for uh Titus 2. And thank you. We're both excuse us as we wipe our tears. Um, and so I mean, I think that was a pivotal moment for me. But then um I ended up meeting with Lynn Schumacher, who we all love and um who really spearheads the Titus II mentorship. And um she met with me and we went for a walk and we just talked. And before she left, we went walked through or talked through uh prayer of surrender, and that was on March 14th, 2004, or 2024.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

I love that you know the date. I do. I actually have it written right here in my Bible. Oh, you sure do. Oh, that's so beautiful, too. Um, and you know.

SPEAKER_01 22:01

She's like, Well, how do you feel? You know, I felt good. I mean, it felt good to say that, right? It felt, but I don't think that I really understood what that meant. And understanding what that meant would be months. Um, but it wasn't shortly after, like, one of the I think the most pivotal moments for me following that meeting with Lynn was we were in church and we were closing in worship, and the song Living Hope is what we sang, and hearing the words the cross has spoken, I am forgiven. And the King of Kings calls me his own. The King of Kings calls me his own. I was just so overwhelmed with the emotion of what that meant. And I think in that moment, I I truly felt that I had been saved.

SPEAKER_03 23:13

I love that. How beautiful and how honest that it it is a light bulb moment, but it's not. Right. You know, like there was a lot of steps of obedience to get to that point. It was doing what you knew and you understood, but hadn't maybe felt quite just yet.

SPEAKER_01 23:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:33

And it was like your heart and your mind needed to align, but you you were God was gently leading you to that moment. Yes. And it is powerful when he uses worship music or a person. Like you just know when you know that it was like that was meant for me.

SPEAKER_01 23:48

It was. And God's speaking to my heart right now. Yes. It really helped me understand the levity of the symbolism of Jesus dying on the cross for us, a shameful death after living a perfect life, and to think that he did that for me, and he does it for you, and he does it for everybody else on an individual basis, and not just once, but every single day. His mercy is new, and we are forgiven every single day. And I just still thinking about that. I mean, I get emotional thinking about it every time I do.

SPEAKER_03 24:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:35

Oh, that's so beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

Thank you for sharing that. Of course. You have a verse that we wanted to kind of talk through. And I thought maybe we could just go to that because I think you've already so beautifully laid the groundwork of just how God was moving in your life. Because I think the transformation can occur, but then it's like, okay, but I'm still someone who desires certain like I'm still built the way I'm built. I'm still an achiever. I'm still someone who likes to compete. I still have weightlifting. Like, what do I do with what I now know? How do I now apply this in my right now life? It's not like suddenly you get a brand new life. You have the same life, but you have a brand new heart, right? And so you have died to the earthly things, but the earthly things are still part of your life. Yes. So share a little bit about the verse that you really felt has helped in your transformation.

SPEAKER_01 25:27

Yeah. So I remember sitting in service one day, and the sermon was on Joshua 3, verse 5, and it's when um the priests and the Israelites needed to cross the Jordan. Joshua told the people, Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you. Joshua said to the priests, Take up the Ark of the Covenant and pass on ahead of the people. So they took it up and went ahead of them. And the Lord said to Joshua, Today I will begin to exalt you in the eyes of all of Israel, so that they will know that I am with you as I was with Moses. Tell the priests who carry the Ark of the Covenant, When you reach the edge of the Jordan's waters, go ahead and stand in the river. Joshua said to the Israelites, Come here and listen to the words of the Lord your God. This is how you will know that the living God is among you, and that he will certainly drive out before you the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Hivites, the Perizites, the Gergeshites, the Amorites, and the Jebezouites. See the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord of all the earth will go into the Jordan ahead of you. Now then choose twelve men from the tribes of Israel, one from each tribe. And as soon as the priests who carry the Ark of the Lord, the Lord of all the earth, set foot into the Jordan, its waters flowing downstream will be cut off and stand up in a heap.

SPEAKER_03 27:08

Okay, so that was Joshua three. Yes. And you started at five, and we ended at what thirteen? Yes. Yes. Okay. So why is that why that story? Tell me some of the background of that.

SPEAKER_01 27:19

So in the moment, hearing it in church, I mean, first I had to go look up what consecrate meant. Teach us, teach us. So consecrate really means to surrender. Yeah. And the priests and the Israelites needed to surrender to the Lord's will, that He would stop the waters when they stepped foot into that. And in that moment, I sort of realized that I was still trying to control a lot of things. And that it would only come to fruition if it was God's will across many things. But again, I mean, I was preparing for a weightlifting meet. So everything goes back to that. And I don't love that. But it was part of the lessons that I was learning. And um I sort of just realized in that moment as I was preparing and feeling overwhelmed by that that I had to take a step back and know that I was the strongest that I'd ever been. I was as prepared as I could have been. And really, like it was gonna be God's will whether or not I would be a champion again. And I was able to kind of, I think, for the first time in my entire career of weightlifting, which was only six years, you know, but um to say that I have to trust the work that I've put in, and I have to trust that this is what the the Lord wants for me.

unknown 29:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

And, you know, I really tried to shift my perspective and I would pray, Lord, I want your light to shine through me on the platform. I want to glorify you with these gifts of strength and perseverance and determination. And I really wanted it to be for him as best as I could understand, maybe in that moment. And I mean, ultimately, I didn't end up winning that competition, but I had a great competition because I think I finally was able to let go of like the control and honestly the fear of failure and the embarrassment of not winning. And, you know, I mean, to take second place is really not too bad. I mean, I feel like, you know, second in the world in your age group might be pretty amazing. Yes. But, you know, I I often now, a year later, I come back to this because I think that in addition to surrender, it was also about obedience and following when we hear the Holy Spirit directing us. We do have to be obedient, we do have to trust that God is in control and that he doesn't fail. And at the same time, like we have to really consider that the metaphor for this is we all have a journey to go on. Yeah, we all have to step into the river and know that the only way to eternal life is through Jesus. Yes, and so we have to surrender to that. And you know what I'm learning is that that's every day. Every single day we have to choose to surrender to his will. Now, we obviously have free will, right? And we get to make choices, and he gives us the tools to work with, right? And we have to be obedient, we have to make the changes that he is laying upon us. And that is a lot of times over the last year, I hear the Holy Spirit saying, Step into the river. And it in many areas of my life, and I think that it's it is the calling for me to say, you know, you need to make this change. Yeah, you need to be obedient to whatever in that moment or in those weeks that he is calling me to do. And as soon as I hear that, I was like, You're I I think, yes, I am holding back for whatever reason, but I have to trust that the Lord is guiding me and has already written my story and that it is now my job to be obedient to him. So this I I love this story because I feel like it's so multifaceted in the ways that we really need to be obedient servants to him.

SPEAKER_03 31:59

Yeah, it's such a beautiful picture of just that juxtapation of like obedience, like you're not gonna, you're not obeying for salvation, but you're obeying out of salvation. And that there is an act of participation that we get to play, like that. That's what the Lord wants. He wants a relationship, he wants like let's do this together. Ultimately, he has the power and ultimately it's his plan, but he invites us into this journey. Like, I'm looking at this verse, consecrate yourselves for tomorrow. The Lord will do amazing things. Like you have your part, and then just trust that I'm gonna do mine. Yes, and what my amazing things might look different than what you thought, but we get a trust that he will do amazing things. And like for you, I'm thinking, what a beautiful talk about a metaphor of here you are, strength training, like to be strong. And for the first time, you're like, I'm strong in the Lord, and that's all that matters. Yes, and so you already had the prize, you know, you didn't need to go earn it. So when you get second place, which is still amazing, it didn't feel like second place.

SPEAKER_01 33:02

No, it didn't, it honestly didn't. I uh I really I think in that moment I sort of realized that this, along with many of my other achievements, were false idols in my life. And it honestly felt so good to let go of that. And I mean, shortly after that meet, I retired and uh I was able to just walk away knowing that I did not need that to fill me anymore. Because I had one. I I mean the truth is to kind of summarize where we've been, is that I did all of these things and I honestly feel like I had everything that I could have possibly ever dreamed of, but I still felt pretty empty, and I was chasing happiness with stuff like buying stuff or achievements and all of these things. And when I think about this verse, it just makes me realize that I can be alive in Jesus, and it really has just brought a sense of peace and joy that I have never known in my life. It has brought stillness to my life where I could not be still, I could not be in silence, and now I can cherish those moments and really look back and say, I am glad I did that stuff. It helped shape me into who I am. Yes. But more importantly, I mean all of these things to be able to look back and say, but this is also what led me to Jesus and understand what it really meant to glorify him. And I mean, now that's what I try to do. I'm new here. So I mean, but you you're the light is so bright.

SPEAKER_03 34:50

The light is so bright, Jenna. Like just being with you and hearing you talk, and even how emotional you get, or because I get too, like that's just evidence of the Holy Spirit, it's just the overwhelm of the Lord, and just um how loved and like that acceptance that you feel in him, that I feel in him, that you just can't get anywhere else. You can chase all the earthly treasures and accolades, and if there's nothing like finally finding the love of Jesus, it's absolutely true, and it just makes life, all that other stuff so much more abundant, even though you don't know you know you don't need it all. You just need him. Yes, yeah, what a beautiful testimony. Thank you for sharing it.

SPEAKER_02 35:31

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 35:32

I am trying to think of like my live it out because I do think we have to move into that. And you know, you've you've spent enough time with me that you know surrender is my jam. Like that is my song, too. Like that is the thing the Lord's taught me. I think us achievers understand that, like laying it down, because our tendency is to want to do it in our own strength. Yes, but the freedom we feel as achievers to lay it down, and so it is a daily thing. And I love this idea of stepping into the river and just maybe asking the Lord in my prayers, okay, Lord, like what what I surrender to you and what do you want me to be obedient about? Because I can talk myself out of a lot of things. I can't um because I especially if I don't know what he's doing. And when I I almost get, I think at this point, I'm more afraid of succeeding sometimes, if I'm being honest with you, because I'm afraid of getting lost in pride. Yes, and that can also stop me. So we can fall too far the other way where we don't do anything. Right. Um, it's like almost like a false humility. It is, and so I think I need to, you know, do some bench prayers with the Lord and just ask him what he is calling me to next and to give me his strength to move forward.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:49

How about you?

SPEAKER_01 36:50

I mean, you're still living this thing out right now. I mean, every moment of every day. I mean, I wish I I wish that was actually true. Yeah. I mean, we want it to be true. I do want to be true. It is. And I would say for me is to really exercise the patience and stillness that I need to have to see the ways that God will be working in my life. And asking for those daily steps of obedience, asking for those stepping stones that kind of get me over the hump sometimes to say, I don't know what to do here. But when you say that out loud, he really does put that stone down for you to step on sometimes the smallest things. And I think being aware of that and being patient in that it might be a million stones before I get to actually, you know, cross the river. Oh, that's so good. Good. Oh, that's so good.

SPEAKER_03 37:50

Well, thank you for coming. Thank you for sharing your story. Would you be willing to pray us out? Oh, I will try.

SPEAKER_01 37:57

I'm probably gonna cry. I don't know. Okay. Dear Lord, I stand before you so humble. Humble that Lisa would host me in her beautiful home, host uh ask me to tell my story of salvation through you. Lord, I thank you for this podcast because I know I'm not the only one whose life has changed and whose relationship with Jesus has changed by hearing the stories that this podcast produces. Lord, I thank you for our church and our leaders and how visible their faith is in you. I pray, Lord, that you will continue to guide us and that the Holy Spirit will work through us, encouraging us to continually step into the river and know that you will not fail us, that you will stand by us, that you will guide us, that you will protect us, that once your hands are with our hands that you are never letting go. I pray, Lord, that we can all take faith or have faith that you will stand by us and care for us. In Jesus' name, I pray.

unknown 39:18

Amen.

SPEAKER_03 39:19

Amen. Okay, listeners, let's step into the river this week, placing our full trust in our mighty and faithful God. He alone is our Solomon.