Episode 64: Shifting Seasons, Same God

Navigating a new season of life is always a little challenging, but it can be especially emotional when it comes to parenting. This week on the pod, we welcome Hickory Creek’s own Holly Williams, a faithful woman of God and a proud mom of three adult children. Tune in to hear Lisa and Holly discuss all things mid-life, the grief of launching big kids into the world, and the joy and beauty we can find by trusting in a God who is with us through it all.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:06

Hello, and welcome to the Her Salad Ground Podcast. I'm Lisa Banema, and today we have a guest I can't wait for you to meet. Let's get started. Well, hello, listeners. Welcome back to the pod.

SPEAKER_03 0:24

I am here today with someone that most of you, if you attend Hickory Creek Church, you probably know this woman, the beautiful Holly Williams. Welcome to the podcast, Holly.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

Well, hello. I am honored to be here.

SPEAKER_03 0:38

Oh, I'm so excited. You are like the easiest ask ever. Allie and I, when we were first, you know, brainstorming guests to have on the podcast, you like imped, we both had you as like our first choice. So it's a matter of like, okay, so what can we talk to her about? Because she's got so much wisdom. Oh boy. No pressure. No pressure. So our beloved Holly um is on staff here at Hickory Creek, and she serves in a lot of capacities. When I was making this list, I'm like, hmm, wow, she sure does a lot. Uh, she is our Sunday children's ministry. Co-lead, co-lead, yeah, you're in charge of that. And one of the women there in charge of that. You run and organize our awana ministry that runs on Tuesday nights. And she also coordinates our vacation Bible school program. And she even does like some administrative work. So a lot of you probably have seen her at the front desk if you stopped by church during the week. And I don't know, I just feel like you're like also like the um unofficial like welcome lady. It's like you and Dave Benedict are like the power team. When I first came to Hickory Creek, it was you and Dave. Oh, yeah, you were like the ones that really were intentional.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 1:49

I don't know if you remember that. You when Kendall first, my middle daughter first served in I don't know if it's nursery or preschool, probably preschool.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

I think so, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

You came up to me and found me, and you're like, your daughter is Kendall, right? And this is like really early, and we weren't even officially members yet. You're like, you were just so like intentional about encouraging me about how helpful she was being and what a nice girl she was.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

I do remember that. And and she is amazing. Um, but I didn't realize that you were so new, I guess, to him. Yeah, we were. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 2:19

Yeah, Kendall starting to volunteer is really what made Jeff and I be like, maybe we should think about joining. Oh, I love that. Yeah, seriously. She was the one that kind of like got us like, okay, we're attending regularly. Maybe it's time to really get some roots here. Oh, I love that. Yeah. And you doing that, and it was it made a difference. It really did. That is really cool. So did I cover everything? Is there anything I didn't cover? I know you love this part where I tell about all No, that you got it.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

And I I really do love my job, and um, I I feel very blessed. Um, I it it really doesn't feel like work most of the time, you know. It's just it's really a joy. I love Hickory Creek.

SPEAKER_03 2:57

And I think it's just because it's an extension of who you are. Like, honestly, you're just like a servant's you have such a servant's heart. Like, I just feel like you are kind of like the one of the many hearts of Hickory Creek Church, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

It I I it's it's truly a joy to be there. It's it's real. It's none of us are pretending it's no, it's uh it's a special place for sure.

SPEAKER_03 3:19

It is, it really is full of like so many genuine people. Okay, so outside of church and ministry, Holly, tell us a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

Okay. Well, I I have to say I'm married to Scott, and I feel like he is kind of like this um silent partner at times. Uh I have met so many people who are like, okay, I know you, but who's your husband? And um, yeah, so he is so supportive and amazing. Um, we've been married for 30 years. 30. Isn't that crazy?

SPEAKER_03 3:48

30.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

It doesn't feel real three decades. Oh, we were three decades. That's scary. Um, or it wanted to be.

SPEAKER_03 3:55

And you're only 25. It's amazing. The math there.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

I know. Um, so yeah, so Scott, he picks a service to go to with me, and then um, you know, then he kind of slips out because I'm there all day on Sunday. So um, yeah, so he's um, you know, kind of like that silent parlor, like I said. And yeah, I but I want everyone to know him. And yeah, he's I couldn't do what I do without him at my side, honestly. Um, so yeah, he's a good partner, and he's he loves to talk about basketball.

SPEAKER_03 4:26

Okay, he had a great conversation, yeah. He like lit up like a Christmas tree. We had a great time.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

He's he's a very kind man, yes, yes, I agree. Um, okay, and what else? I I have three daughters, they all kind of grew up at Hickory Creek, so we've been there for a while. Yeah, how long have you been at Hickory Creek? Oh man, I wasn't prepared for that. A while. At least 15, 16 years, something like that. Um I am from Minnesota. Some people don't know that. Really? Yeah. Did I know that? I feel like I knew you had family there. I don't think I realized that that's where you were from. I'm from there. And so I I feel that a lot of people around here, it seems like have a lot of family around here. So sometimes I feel a little like odd man out because I don't have oodles of family, you know, around like other people, but maybe that's just my misconception. I don't know. Well, what made what brought you guys here? Um, Scott's job. And he he has family here, but his you know, his mom has passed away, his dad is 98. So um and he is a very small family. So um, yeah, we're my I have five siblings. Well, those there's five of us total in my family, so we're kind of scattered everywhere. And okay. Um, yeah, don't have like tons of aunts and uncles around or you know, yeah. It just feels like a lot of people here do have that I do.

SPEAKER_03 5:47

My whole family is within like 10 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 5:49

Yeah, that is a foreign concept.

SPEAKER_03 5:51

It is really strange, it's getting less and less common. It was weird to me to know that people had so many like family members outside of the state. It wasn't until just now my cousins are the first ones of my family on either side that really like ventured outside of Illinois, even.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

How dare they?

SPEAKER_03 6:05

I know. Do they not know the rules? Right. Right. Hopefully, my kids know the rules. You must stay.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Yes, yes, that's important. My my kids didn't learn those rules, unfortunately. Which is a lot about we're gonna talk about it. Right, it is, it is, but you know, I'm from Minnesota, but Frankfurt really is my home now. Um, we love the old plank trail. I I love to bike it, walk it, ride it. Um, honestly, that was a big draw to Frankfurt. Isn't that silly? It's sounding cool. Oh, it's beautiful. We we were like eight tenths of a mile from the trail, so we we love that. Um, I like being outside. I would choose being outside and doing yard work and things of that nature every single time over being inside. Yeah. Why I why? What what about that? I don't know. There's something about just digging in the earth with your hands and being in creation, and it's just um it's grounding, I guess. See what I did there?

SPEAKER_03 7:04

It's it's grounding, nice looking already with the puns. No, I yeah, I just I love it. It's true. I do think there's something very therapeutic about being outside, having your hand in the dirt. You just see God in all of that, don't you? Even just like you're pulling weeds and you're thinking about the weeds in your life. Like it's amazing the analogies that just come to the thought to come to your mind. Yes, but I also do not garden at all, just so you know.

SPEAKER_00 7:29

Well, I I've I'm doing less of it. I used to have a huge garden, um, doing a little less of it, but more containers and things now, and just we have a lot of yard work to do. So keeps me busy.

SPEAKER_03 7:40

Yeah, I just feel like it gets more and more every year. We didn't even do much this year, but yeah, anyway, I digress. Yeah, I enjoy it though. Well, I think one of the things that we wanted to talk to you about, where you had mentioned, you know, that you have three daughters. So immediately my heart was drawn to you when I found that out, you know, way back when we first met, because I have three daughters, and you're just like a just a couple clicks ahead of me in terms of their age. You know, they're a little bit older, and I just really have turned to you many times for like your wisdom and just your experience in in raising them and even just raising older children. And so I want we wanted to talk about that today. We wanted to, I wanted other people to hear your wisdom. I just don't think that this is a season of life, you know, when your kids are are leaving the nest and when they've left. Like, we don't talk about that.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:32

Like I think there's a lot of moms that we talk to when they're little, and um, but that middle season, that midlife part, I don't we're just starting. I think our culture is just starting to talk about this a little bit more. But I also want to make sure there's like some godly wisdom. Yeah. Because it's not just about eating protein.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Contrary to the popular belief on social media.

SPEAKER_03 8:57

Yeah, I mean, it's like really, there's more to it than just that. If only it was that simple. Although it is not simple. It's like a part-time job trying to eat all that protein. I agree. Weighted vests. We could just go on and we could. That's a whole nother podcast. That's a whole nother podcast. For sure. But how would you describe, if you were to think of where you're at in your life right now, you know, what were you, where would you just how would you describe that?

SPEAKER_00 9:20

Um, yeah. I your own words. Am I well this week I was in a honestly a little bit of a funk, and I'm just kind of not feeling like myself is what I would say, which is sounds cliche maybe or something, but I was thinking through it and I'm like, I think I'm having a midlife crisis. And I was kind of trying to use humor to deflect what I was feeling or kind of process through it. But then I started thinking, like, no, I I really think I am having and and I I'm laughing when I say it because it it does seem so cliche. I haven't bought a sports car. It's only cliche if you have like you pull into church with a convertible. Yes, but I'm just in this new place that feels different and I don't recognize it, I guess. Which, yeah, it it's it's a strange place to be, honestly.

SPEAKER_03 10:12

Yeah, it's a new phase. I mean, you've got, you know, officially have an empty nest.

SPEAKER_02 10:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:17

Right? Like your youngest is like out of college now, they're all out of college, yes, and kind of on their own. And I I guess I'm curious, like, does this feel harder or easier to you than when you like first sent your kids off to college? You know what I mean? I think we again we talk a lot about that, that send-off, but like what about after? Like, do you feel like it's easier now? Like, how is it different than that? Like right now, knowing like everyone's off in the world.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

Yeah. I mean, I I don't want to sound like a Debbie Downer, but just being honest, I do think it's harder. Um, you know, it's harder because I really, I really loved being a mom. I mean, I loved it. I I've been a lot of things, but that's the my favorite, probably title. And I know I still am a mom, you know what, right? On paper. It's not past tense. Yeah. Right? Um when I when I look back at my life and and if I were to pick a favorite time period, it really was when my three girls were home and we were just home together. I mean, Scott gave me the gift of being able to be home with our girls, and I I tell him and them that it's the greatest gift he ever gave us. It's the gift that keeps on giving, really, honestly, because you you you don't get the time back, and I I just embraced it all. I loved it. I loved it. And you know, I was a teacher, and so I tried to kind of like bring teaching elements into our time at home, and oh, it was just such special, special years, and I I loved it and I I miss it honestly.

SPEAKER_03 12:00

I think that's so refreshing to hear that. You know, I think there's a lot of talk nowadays with younger moms about how hard it is being a mom. Yeah, and it is hard, and you're in the thick of it. It's like you're just like, oh, is this you just it's hard, yeah for sure. But I think we just need to hear that because you need that other perspective. It's that both and and we swing so far to one side, we get stuck there, yeah, and we miss out on the gift of it all. And it's easier now, I guess, probably for both of us could be of the gift of hindsight. Right. So, but did you feel like when you were in the midst of that, did you can you think back? Do you feel like you felt at the time that it was a gift? Did you appreciate it as much?

SPEAKER_00 12:47

Um boy, probably probably not as much as I do now. I mean, there's that little saying that the days are long, but the years are short. Um so of course there were times when you just get swallowed in the mundane of diapers and dishes and laundry and you know carpool or just driving everybody everywhere at the Uber. Right. Yes, but see, uh did you hear me? I said my very favorite one was we were all home. I got I can just picture Kaylee, she was four, Ashley was two, Maggie was a baby, and it was just I don't know, there's something sweet, so sweet and magical. I don't know, like three girls, two parties. Oh, I remember, I'm with you. Yeah, yeah. Um, so I definitely enjoyed it, but probably, you know, it the years get sweeter as I, you know, look back, and and of course, there are the rose-colored glasses. I acknowledge all of this, yeah. But I can say I really truly loved it and enjoyed it when I was living it, you know. I I loved it.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

How would you say that your your role as a mom has evolved like in the over the years?

SPEAKER_00 14:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:02

Because I think that's the part that's what you're noticing is that there's been changes in your like in you're always a mom. The title is still there, but then your role and responsibility shift. So how would you kind of define all that?

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Well, I I was thinking I am thinking about this in terms of the analogy of like going from teacher where you're in the mix and you're guiding and directing, and you know, you are um orchestrating, and um it's it's very parent-centered, I guess, because you're the mom, right? They need you. It's so there's their needs are immediate, there's so much they have to learn, and um not that that changes, we're always learning, right? But it's it's just this transition from being like the teacher in charge um and guiding and directing to being a cheerleader. And um regret it. I you know, I I hope my girls feel like I'm the biggest cheerleader they have. I mean, that's that's I'm trying to embrace that, but a cheerleader is not a playmaker, you know. You're you're you are on the sidelines. Um and that's harder than I thought it would be. I or I never really thought about it, but um, I do see that I need to be the cheerleader and not the playmaker anymore because um it it's just that's God ordained, you know, that that shift and that change. And so that's that's hard. You I think you just feel like you're fading out a little, maybe losing a little relevance or something, but it's it's not, it's it really is just a a shift.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

So yeah, it's like God reminding us that it actually was never about us. Right. Ouch. Ouch. But yeah, it's true. I mean, I think you're that analogy is so spot on, and the tendency is to want to still be that teacher, yeah, especially when the stakes feel so high, when they're an adult making adult decisions, like you're like, listen, I know a few things, but that's how they learn a few things, is by doing it on their own, but that is hard.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Well, and and because you don't want them to make the same mistakes you did, and you, you know, you have lived this before, and you you want to spare them and you wanna, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:23

So yeah, I'm finding in my I'm not quite where you're at now, but even just in the teen years, that my the best thing I can do is really work at the relationship.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:36

More than like dictating their life choices, life choices. I mean, I still want to have a say, and I still do feel that, like, especially Kendall's now a senior, so you feel that urgency of like, okay, I've got one more year of really, you know, but it's just that relationship because then that's where the influence comes in eventually, right? Yeah would you say that's true?

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Oh, absolutely. And and honestly, there's even like tension in your marriage in some ways, because you both are kind of evolving and growing in this too. And it maybe one of you is a little ahead of the other in where you're at with that. And so it's a lot to navigate, you know. It just felt simpler, I guess, when they were younger.

SPEAKER_03 17:18

Yes, you're right. That's such a good point because I feel that too, because it's it's an emotional time for everyone, yes, you know, and I think that women and men deal with emotions differently. And you know, some might even say like emotional health is a struggle for a lot of men, right? So they're not even sure what they're feeling. Whereas we spend a lot of time probably reflecting and processing because we're we tend to be more emotional for sure.

SPEAKER_00 17:43

Yeah, you know, I am. I oh yeah, and and Scott and I fit that, you know, kind of brand for sure. Same, same. Yeah, and he yeah, and he's just very well, he's a math teacher, so there's that. Very logical. This is exactly what we raised them for, you know. This was always the plan. Right, it was the plan. He loves this plan. Oh, and uh yeah, not that I don't, but it's I feel like it's been a harder adjustment for me as a mom. Sure.

SPEAKER_03 18:13

I mean, I think it goes without saying we're all at this point, like you're so happy for your kids, right? Like your joy, their joy is your joy. This is what you want for them. You want them to go out and find themselves and be the women that God created them to be, and you want them to flourish and thrive. But that I think we all know that. So that's like the underlying truth, right? Oh, for sure. There is the the part we don't talk about, which is the grief that we feel in in that letting go, right? Would you say that?

SPEAKER_00 18:42

I mean, don't make me cry like yeah, I mean, gre it is a grieving. Yeah, it's a grieving that I didn't expect. And so maybe that feels a little, you know, disorienting and um yeah, it's I mean, the net there there's that term empty nest, and the nest does just feel like empty, empty, quiet, yes, and um, you know, I told you how much I loved being a mom and having them home, and so um, when you love something that much, it makes it feel that much harder to you know let it go and see the seasons shift and change. And so it's there has been a grieving, a letting go, a processing through it all. And I'm still really early in the process.

SPEAKER_03 19:33

I was gonna say, like, do you feel do you feel comfortable sharing? Like, do you feel like you're maybe a little bit in that grief right now?

SPEAKER_00 19:39

I yeah, I I do. That's why I said I diagnosed myself with a midlife crisis earlier this week. Um, and you know, it's like um we we've had a lot of change really in our family this summer. Um you really have. We have, yeah. And our our middle daughter moved to Texas. She started embarked on a you know, grad program, and so she's pretty far away. And then our youngest graduated from Wheaton, and she's um now living in Elmhurst and teaching, and she's busy, and she's the one that's the closest to me, and the one I probably get to talk to the least, which just feels so wrong somehow, you know. Um, but just the fact that she's um, you know, she her her her uh her home base isn't here anymore. It really isn't, and uh it just feels so final, and yeah, so it it's hitting me, hitting me more than I anticipated it would, you know. Yeah. Um yeah. And and I think, you know, it to me, it would be far worse if she weren't be if they weren't be able to hit these milestones and um you know do these things. That that would be a a different podcast in itself, you know.

SPEAKER_03 20:54

So uh it doesn't always go the way you think it's gonna go. In this case, like you said, it's the what you had assumed would be the natural progression, but it doesn't make it any easier. Right, right. So yeah, it would be harder, it'd be a different kind of hard if things were going yes backwards.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

Yeah, but yeah, so I mean it's a natural thing, but I think we we should just normalize crying about it because Right, thank you.

SPEAKER_03 21:17

Well, and it's it's interesting to hear this from you because when I, you know, I only sent off one kid, launched. Allie loves when I say the word launched, one kid. And even then she's still in college, so she still comes back here. But it was when when I we first sent her off, it was the acknowledgement that things would never quite be the same, like everything would be different from here on out. We'd never get to go back right to this being her full time home permanently, you know, like there is a party that knows that, but that's like, oh wait, we're this is really happening. This is like she is going to qu slowly but surely have another home.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:55

Woo. And it's like, wow, that is hard. That is hard. I mean that's the part that I like felt like oh like I can be excited for her but this means more than just going away to college. This is like the sign of it's just gonna keep getting she's gonna keep getting further and further away from that place that I hold so dear in my heart, you know.

SPEAKER_00 22:19

And your whole life you've been working to on the relationship to create the attachment and the bonds and the traditions and the you know all of the the good that family life brings. It's a it's a lot of work, right? Yeah. And all of a sudden, wait, there's a new focus now.

SPEAKER_03 22:37

Yeah, yeah. And and once again, like like all parenting, there's no manual. There's no manual of like what this looks like because every kid is different, every personality is different. Man managing that relationship with a fully independent child looks different for each one of them, right? And what they need from you, which is just a constant learning, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 23:00

It sh it sure is, it sure is, and I'm messing up along the way for sure.

SPEAKER_03 23:04

Yeah, um and now they're adults, so they are sure to tell us. So humbling having children, having smart, you know, sometimes when they're smarter than us, just like, oh great.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

Yes. For sure. I I would say every single one of my daughters are smarter than I am. So it's um humbling for sure. It is.

SPEAKER_03 23:23

So let's talk about okay, so we're acknowledging the heart, yeah, right. So this is an important part of like, you know, processing our feelings. So then let's go to like, how do you what do you feel like God has been teaching you in this? Because you are have such a strong faith, and I know that God is your solid ground, he is your foundation. I know that about you. I feel it when I'm with you. I mean, it's like everybody knows this about you. So now you're starting to get emotional. I'm starting to get emotional. We're crying, people. Um tell me what God has been teaching you through all this.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

Yeah, I mean, uh I there's so many times when I'm just thinking, I don't know what I'd do without God, right? What would I do without him? Because he is the constant in the change, you know. If you don't have God, you have nothing really. I mean, I I'm just aware of that um more and more. But um, it's it's kind of ironic when I'm when I'm thinking about what God is teaching me. It's almost like the things that I wanted to instill in my girls and and teach them, all of those things are kind of being whispered back to me. It's like I can almost flash back and think through conversations about, you know, um trusting in the Lord, trusting his plans, leaning into him. Um, we walk by faith, not by sight. I mean, all of those things are kind of being whispered back to me, and it's um such a reminder that uh yeah, we're it's it's a new opportunity to learn being in his presence and to um lean into him and and to be growing in him, really. So that's been interesting hearing um kind of those conversations come back and just thinking through you know those times when I talked through those ideas with my girls. Um and um, you know, on a practical level, really practical level, I think I'm just realizing this is a sweet spot kind of of life because I have a unique perspective where I hopefully by the grace of God have a lot of more life to live, a lot of years ahead of me still. But I do have this perspective of seeing how fleeting time is and how um quickly things can change, and yet I've still got time to do something about it in a in a way, you know, and um it it more than ever it's made me just uh grateful for the gifts that I have now, grateful for the gifts of the present. And I've been struck by this idea that um, you know, every time we do something, we're eventually gonna have a last time that we can do that thing. And sometimes it's just a mundane thing, like, you know, going and taking a walk at the ocean and letting the waves crash on you, or painting your own toenails, or mowing your grass, or you know, doing some of these ordinary mundane things. And in 10 years, I'll wish I could do those things, but it's you know, kind of slipped away. Um, and so I'm I'm learning um more than ever to just practice gratitude and being just see the gifts of the moment, see the gifts that God has given, and just that idea of in 10 years I'll want to be doing these things or I'll appreciate, you know, what I have now, has been a helpful framework to just frame each day with gratefulness and gratitude and and see it as a gift from God.

SPEAKER_03 27:01

That's so good. Yeah, I can see it's like you anytime you have to let anything go, I think you just have this deep appreciation. And when it comes to like our kids specifically, it's like, yeah, that's like how precious time is, how precious moments are, you know, even like thinking to like the last time, you know, there's this something on Facebook or Instagram about like the last time you gave them, read them a story at night, or the last time you bathed them, like that stuff just makes you want to cry because you didn't know, you didn't know it was the last time, you know, just life goes on, they move on, you just go with what the natural flow of it all, and you just the presence of all of it is so important, yeah and it's it's hard when it's busy, but um, that's the reminder, and that is the gift of this season, probably in some ways, like we were talking about offline. It's like we have the gift of reflection, which is why that's it's so emotional, right? Because we understand that it actually does go by fast, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:05

And you know, I'm sure the young moms out there have all had those interactions at the grocery store or whatever with well-meaning. I I'm turning into one of those. Yes, I know. I'm trying to filter though and not make those comments like enjoy every moment. It goes so fast. Yeah. But I I do think it. I'm filtering, trying not to say it, because I know it's not helpful in that moment, but instead of you know, sharing that with someone who it's not gonna be helpful in that moment, I'm trying to turn it on myself and be mindful for myself to enjoy this moment because it is a gift, you know, and we are we are not guaranteed anything beyond this, really, you know. So oh, that's so good.

SPEAKER_03 28:48

That's good. I actually think this is a great time for um you to kind of share our verse.

unknown 28:54

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

Well, and and you had kind of asked me to be thinking about a verse, and so many came to mind. I mean, God's word is just um my lifeline, really. And honestly, I I kept coming back to Ecclesiastes 3, and I I know I I'm I'm an avid listener to the podcast, so I know that that passage was in there um at some point. And I'm sorry to say I can't remember exactly. You probably being the historian of the show, have it on the tip of your Holly.

SPEAKER_03 29:25

But um, but yeah, no, actually I can tell you if anyone wants to know, it is um I don't know. We did have done a couple on seasons. I don't know, I'll find it. You go on with the well, okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:37

Uh and but I was thinking like we I I feel like the focus was more on the earlier part of that Ecclesiastes three, so I'm gonna read that, but then um there's a little bit later that feels like it kind of pertains exactly to life right now. So I'm reading in Ecclesiastes three, it's NIV version. There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens, a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. And then here's the midlife crisis, maybe? No, I'm just getting that verse nine. What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart, yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and do good while they live, that each of them may eat and drink and find satisfaction in all their toil. This is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever. Nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear Him. So just this idea of the rhythms of life, they're given to us by God. Um, He gives us the seasons and change and work and play, and then we get to verse 11, which I feel like it's really deep. Um, there of course there's that beautiful sentiment at the beginning of verse 11. He has made everything beautiful in its time. I mean, that is so comforting, right? And just um it it has brought uh a refocus and a reframing, I think, for um me in this time that feels disorienting. So um, and but then it continues on. Um it says that he has also set eternity in the human heart, yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. And so there's this idea that we long to understand God's plans and his timing and all the details. We want to know it, right? Um, but the bottom line is he's God and we're not, and we're not going to know. He's sovereign. There are things we won't understand. Um, and so that's why we just need to know God because if we know him, we can trust him and we can walk by faith knowing that he has the details and um we can trust him.

SPEAKER_03 32:50

Yeah, and that he he's gonna make it beautiful.

unknown 32:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:52

I think there is a temptation to look back and regret. And you know, we were talking about offline about even just like feeling like we didn't do enough or you know, feeling like we want to do it all over again, because we are maybe a little wiser now. Hoping we wish we could go back and and and start again and we didn't know what we didn't know. But the promise that I find in this verse, and the hope that I find in this verse is that like God makes every beautiful in its time, everything in everything beautiful in its time. And so God has been working all along. Yeah, you know, what I it's just one of the most hopeful things that I was told when Emma was sent off to college, it was we're actually we're sitting in the auditorium, and I think it was the president of the university said, I know it feels like a big day, parents, but today is just another day for God to be God. Oh, I love that. And it was like, I mean, I get chills just saying it out loud. Actually, I had chills because it's so true. Like he has always been there, always present, always working, always in control. Yeah, and we can trust that it felt like we were the ones in control because we could love our kids with our hands and our arms and our, you know, all the things, like physically, and like now they're not physically with us. That that lack of control is a more obvious, but that was always the truth. Right. And so yeah, this verse is so helpful remembering that, and that there's a beauty in every season in a different way, but it it's okay to to grieve, right? Because it tells us there's a time to cry, but the hope never stops and never changes, it's always there, right?

SPEAKER_00 34:33

And these are gifts to us, these rhythms, these seasons, these changes, these are gifts of God. Yes, um, and so whether we recognize it or not, I mean that that's why I'm trying to just embrace it, knowing this is this is part of his plan.

SPEAKER_03 34:50

And we can hold both of those truths, right, in our hands. Yes, yes, because he's he covers it all.

SPEAKER_00 34:57

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 34:58

So let's talk about we can't we can't end this podcast without talking about like the biggest gift that you've gotten in this season. Can we talk about the grandbaby? Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00 35:08

Tell us, tell us, tell us. Well, okay, Calvin Timothy, he's my little grandson, he's just over two months old. Um, he is uh, I don't know. I'm I'm shamelessly obsessed with him. I tell people he's just such a little joy and a delight. And uh he's um I I don't know, we are the stereotypical new grandparents where every little thing he does we think is the cutest thing we've ever seen in our life. Because it is, of course. Yes, he is the cutest baby ever made. Oh, he's just uh oh, just a little nugget of pure joy, really. Um I'm I'm trying to be intentional about trying to see him every Wednesday. That's kind of my plan. And so far it's working out great. And literally, I'm thinking through the week, like, okay, it's we're at a Friday now. We're getting closer to Calvin Day. It's so exciting.

SPEAKER_03 36:01

So we've decided that Holly is a Gigi. I am picking out her grandma name was a big deal. It's hard. There was some input, a lot of pressure. Yes. But you've landed on Gigi and we're sticking with it.

SPEAKER_00 36:12

We're sticking with Gigi. Yes. I'm in my Gigi era. Someone gave me a Stanley mug with that on it. And I just I love it. I try to like hold it and sip real intentionally so that I would. You need a t-shirt and a hat, and you need all of the things. Yes. Oh, he's just I love it. Living your best Gigi life. Like I am, I am. And I'm so they live about two hours away, which is just close enough that it I can do a day trip, you know. Which is impressive. That is a committed Gigi. I that's still a drive. That's four hours of driving in one day. And there's a little bit of road construction on I-55. All of you parents going down to ISU. I feel the pain. But um, yeah, so I wouldn't I wouldn't complain of that, you know, wrapped up anytime soon.

SPEAKER_03 36:56

And I get the great gift of your Marco Polo messages. Right.

SPEAKER_00 37:01

It is a good time to catch up. I try to multitask, kind of redeem the time when I love it.

SPEAKER_03 37:05

Or listen to a podcast. Right, exactly. I do, I do. Okay. So let's move to our live it outs.

SPEAKER_00 37:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 37:12

Okay. So I'm I'm processing still my live it out. Do you have an idea in your mind of how you can live this out? I feel like you're kind of in the midst of living this out.

SPEAKER_00 37:20

Man, I am in the midst of it. I I I'm gonna be honest with you, you know, with less with an empty nest, you don't have the demands of kids and things. And so I've found myself, I I don't want to totally I'm gonna admit this. I find myself at times I can tend toward laziness even, or isn't that it's kind of embarrassing to admit? Or I guess you could repackage that as rest. I guess, yeah. But but I mean, you know, it's one of those things where when you have a lot of things to do, you're laughing at me. No, I'm smiling. Yeah, no. I I mean, but I do find myself, I I have that little bit, I could be lazy or a little selfish. So I want to um, and I do have Dr. J in my mind going, how are you gonna quantify this? And I I know That's how you know she actually is a real like listener. I I really, I really am. Um, and so how can I do this? I think I need to tighten up my morning routine a little bit. Honestly, that's where I'm finding it. I can I get my husband out the door, and I've got this chunk of time in the morning, and I've been a little, I mean, just not intentional with that time. What a waste. I mean, so I I want to kind of tighten that up.

SPEAKER_03 38:32

Um well, yeah, and to give you some grace in that, you're in a moment of transition. Sometimes it takes a minute to find our footing. So give yourself a little bit of grace in that.

SPEAKER_00 38:40

I have been, but now it's time. Now it's time, right? It's almost September. Season has shifted.

SPEAKER_03 38:44

It's now a time to it's time.

SPEAKER_00 38:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:46

Okay, I love it. Okay. I am actually, my heart was drawn to the older people in my life. Because I'm thinking about what that must feel like. If I'm in the midst of my, you know, letting go and you're on the you know in the empty nest phase, and I'm thinking like two more clicks ahead, that must be really disorienting when everyone else is like, you're limited maybe in what you can do. And everyone else around you is just so busy and you don't want to be a bother. Like I just feel like because I do have a little more capacity, you know, because I don't have littles um that my my schedule allows for it. I think I need to be a little bit more intentional about pouring into that. So I th there's certain people in my life, I'm like, it's time for a visit, it's time to just give some of my time um to them and to love on them because of how much they've poured into our family. And or if they're you're just a friend, if they're families, you know, their families, and they they they deserve that. Yeah, we need each other. We we forget. I think we forget about some of the older friends in our lives.

SPEAKER_00 39:57

I love that. That's beautiful. I think that's a word for me too, honestly.

SPEAKER_03 40:02

Well, you actually inspired that too, because I'm thinking of you, and you are very good. You have some older like family members in your life that you were really intentional about visiting, and so that's encouraging to me to as a reminder. And I have several that are very close, like there's no excuse. Yeah, and I'm not too busy, so it's a good use of my time, and it's something I actually do want to do.

SPEAKER_00 40:23

So I love that.

SPEAKER_03 40:24

Holly, will you pray us out?

SPEAKER_00 40:26

I will, I will. Oh Heavenly Father, we just recognize that you are the giver of every good gift, and in these changing seasons of life, we know that you are constant. I'm so thankful that you are truly the anchor of my soul. And I pray that you would just help me, help all of us to lean into that anchor of our soul, uh, no matter what season of life we're in. Um, Lord, we know that you alone satisfy, and uh you are the one who brings peace and purpose, and you give us this good gift of family and work and um days on earth to bring you glory. So I pray that you would help us to do that. Pray that you would help us to steward our time well and point others to you. In your name I pray. Amen.

SPEAKER_03 41:30

Amen. Listeners, whatever stage of life we find ourselves in today, we can stand on the promise that God is constant, He alone is our solid God.