Chat EYT Episode #2: Comparison, Imposter Syndrome & Breath

In episode two, Jessica tackles three topics pulled straight from her inbox and student check-ins: how to help a client stop comparing her real progress to what she sees on Instagram, how to manage imposter syndrome at every stage of a teaching career (yes, even seasoned teachers and studio owners get it), and a teaching-cue breakdown on why Jessica trains her apprentices to stop saying "inhale."

In This Episode:

• The Comparison Trap: A listener's client is frustrated that her body hasn't transformed like someone she follows online — Jessica breaks down how to capture client goals in writing at intake so you have something concrete to point back to during frustrated moments
• Defining "Back Pain" and "Flat Stomach": Why vague client goals need to be unpacked into specifics from session one, and how to manage expectations around what Pilates can and can't change
• The Absence-of-Pain Trick: Why clients notice when pain shows up but rarely notice when it's gone — and how teachers can help them see that progress
• Joe's Famous Benchmark: The "10 sessions you feel it, 20 you see it, 30 you have a whole new body" framework for setting realistic expectations early
• Imposter Syndrome at Every Level: Why it shows up in brand-new apprentices, seasoned teachers, and studio owners alike — and why apprentices still know more than the client in the room
• Find Your Inner Sasha Fierce: Jessica's favorite mindset tool, inspired by Beyoncé's alter ego, for teachers who need to walk into the room with more confidence than they feel
• Why Jessica Bans the Word "Inhale": A teaching-cue deep dive on why cueing inhale/exhale rhythmically can cause dizziness, slows down flow, and why "exhale and [action verb]" is a more effective formula
• A Live Teaching Demo: Jessica walks through footwork and short box cueing in real time, using only exhale-based cues

Connect with Jessica:
📧 jessica@eytpilatesteacherteaching.com

Produced & edited by: Kristy Carrubba, Next Chapter Exchange

Transcript

0:04

Hello everyone, and welcome to episode two of Chat EYT. I have been collecting a lot of questions, a lot of themes that have been coming through my email as well as the check-ins that I do with my students and studio owners on a regular basis. I am gonna drift a little bit into some studio ownership topics as well. 'cause I think that's relevant to everybody and it's good for. Everyone to hear what's going through each other's minds. But I'm gonna start today with an email that I got. And while this email is very specific to this specific person's situation, I think that the overarching theme is something that all of us are dealing with when it comes to our clients their comparison of themselves to other people, and perhaps. Maybe we can all start thinking about methods or systems that we can use and implement to help manage client expectations. This starts at the teacher level. It works through our marketing, it works with our studio owners, how we maybe even set the tone in our very first sessions or introductory packages. It's important because we have to, manage people's expectations as to what Pilates really can do. What the speed is of the results that people are going to have. And the elephant in the room, which is Instagram and TikTok, and so many people are comparing themselves to what they see out there. I'm a Gen Xer. I liken it to when we were growing up and we would read Sassy magazine, right? Or Teen Beat. What was it? Young Miss YM magazine. Oh my God. We would clamor to the store to get the latest issue when it came out, but you thumb through those pages and. You look at what everybody was wearing, you look at what the haircuts were and it would make you feel bad about yourself because you didn't look like that celebrity. You didn't have the figure or the shape and the bikini now it's the same thing on Instagram and TikTok, but it's so much bigger, right? The audience is bigger. The volume of images that we're all seeing is bigger, and people are taking those comparisons into the studio with them. So I'll read the question. And then we'll talk about it. Okay. Hi Jessica. I have a client who came to me three months ago wanting to fix her back pain and get a flat stomach. These are her words. She's been consistent. She shows up twice a week and she's putting in the work. Her posture is genuinely improving, and I can see her moving so much better. But she came to me last week frustrated and said she doesn't feel like anything is changing. She compared herself to someone she follows on social media who apparently did a 30 day Pilates challenge and transformed her body. I tried to explain that what she's seeing online is often misleading, but I don't think it landed. How do I help a client appreciate the real progress she's making when she's fixated on results she saw on the internet? All right, so let's break this down. The first part is what were her original goals when she came in? And that was to fix her back pain and get a flat stomach. So the first thing I would say to you as the teacher and perhaps even the studio owner, is we have to find a way to capture what those goals are in writing. And refer back to them as we move through the system and we move through their progress. For example, if her goal was to fix her back pain, let's dig into that a little bit in those first couple of sessions. Where do you feel the back pain the most doing? What types of activities are you feeling that pain? Is it in the morning when you wake up in the form of stiff joints? Is it after sitting for a long time? Car rides? What is it? That you feel that the back pain is impeding in your life, right? And make them think about that, make them elaborate on this. Nebulous idea of back pain. That then gives you a goal that you can work towards. And I'm not saying we're gonna measure it. I'm not saying you're gonna bring it up every single session, but you have it in your toolbox for when a moment like this happens. Maybe she's on her. Eighth, ninth, or 10th session, and she comes in frustrated. She's not feeling the results well, now you can go back to that intake form or that initial conversation and you can say, listen, when you first came in here. Solving some back pain was one of your primary goals. So let's actually talk about that. Let's talk about where you are in achieving that goal. You told me that your back would bother you a lot after you would do long car rides, and a lot of what we've been doing helps with some decompression. Helps with loosening up the back muscles giving more length back there. And we've been working on core strength to help you sit up a little bit taller out of yourself so you're not sitting down and letting gravity take over. And that's often what leads to back pain when you're in long car. We've lengthened your hip flexors, we've lengthened your hamstrings and your overall posture is better. So tell me, when was the last car ride you took and did you feel any pain? And chances are they may not have noticed the absence of pain, right? People notice when there's a presence of pain, but they often have to have their attention drawn to when there's an absence of pain. My guess is, let's say they, did a soccer tournament that previous weekend. She might say to you, you're right, actually, now that you say that, I didn't really get out of the car and feel that sustained tightness or lower back pain that I normally do. And there you are able to show her results, but if you weren't armed with the initial information. Of what her definition of back pain was, then you don't have anything to refer her to and therefore mark her progress. The second goal was to get a flat stomach. So what is her definition of a flat stomach? A lot of times it's, there's fat there, right? There's a visceral fat, maybe it's excess skin. So when she tells you at intake that she wants a flat stomach. It's your job to manage the expectations right away. There is only so much that we can do when it comes to creating a flat stomach. We are. Strengthening the core muscles, the transverse abdominals, internal external obliques, and those muscles then almost pull everybody in, right? There's that drawing in like that course it's been tightened. The drawing in creates a bit of a shrinking up through that waistline where we get maybe more narrow. However, if the person has poor eating habits and there's a visceral fat sitting on top of it. If that person had a C-section and has some leftover skin, these things are not necessarily Pilates solvable, right? This is something that they need to attack from other angles as well. So what we can concentrate on is possibly the posture of the pelvis. If the person has a tilted pelvis where they're tilted forward and their booty is sticking back, they very often will appear like they have a pooch, and that pooch can get maybe a little bit more narrowed or a little bit smoother simply through the articulation of that spine and bringing the pelvis more into a neutral position. Rather than that sort of hanging out of the abdominal cavity. Because of their posture. So if you're able to manage the expectations at the very beginning, you then at that frustrated moment can go back to, you might not be tighter in the skin. You may not have lost fat in your abdominals. But the positioning of your pelvis has truly flattened the stomach to a certain degree, and you're standing taller and there's less hanging out of your core muscles and dumping them forward with that sway back posture. So my suggestion is that we tighten up the expectation management at the very beginning to show them what their progress is. And you have then something to refer back to. And then of course, which sounds like you already did you try to tell them that the internet lies and you don't know what else this person was doing. And it may not have landed. Maybe she had a bad day, maybe she was feeling bloated, maybe she was getting her period. Maybe menopause is starting to sink in and she's feeling fluffy in that area and she just had a emotionally low point when she saw this person on Instagram. And it will pass. But, remind them as you did to not compare yourself to what's out there in the internet, because there's a lot of, misrepresentations, a lot of lies. This person who did a 30 day challenge also may have done a 30 day food cleanse and just didn't say that. People know that intellectually, I think when they are emotionally at a low point, it doesn't present So. That's my suggestion. And then as a teacher and as a studio owner, I think that it's important to set some systems that help create this framework for comparison and help create the referral back to what the person's goals are so that you really can show them the progress that they're making. When they feel progress, they will continue to come. And sometimes progress, as we know, isn't so much, visual. It's often how we feel first, right? Joe said in 10 sessions you feel a difference. 20 sessions you see a difference. 30 you have a whole new body. I actually always say that at the beginning of the session, people say, how long till I, see results? And that was Joe's measurement. And I have always found it's somewhat works. So between session eight to 10, you're gonna start standing a little taller. You're gonna feel a little bit lighter, you might feel a little tighter and stronger and more centered. At 20 sessions, you're just gonna start seeing the rib cage close and get a little smoother. The shoulders are gonna relax down the back. Your pelvis might move into a little bit more of a neutral position. 30 sessions, it's like you're walking around in a new suit. I always used that in my beginning opening sequence when I would talk to people about what their expectations to be for Pilates. So if you're a studio owner listening to this, you might wanna develop that system and that script and give your teachers the tools they need in order to avoid situations like this. Okay. Hopefully that was helpful. The second topic I'm gonna talk about is imposter syndrome, and I don't have a question that's been written for this. It's more that this comes up in conversations. Often, believe it or not, it comes up in conversations, not just with brand new teachers or apprentices. It comes up with seasoned teachers and it comes up with studio owners. There's imposter syndrome, in every corner of all of our lives, and it's hard to avoid. We all have vulnerable moments. Maybe you don't walk around feeling like an imposter, but sometimes it can creep in even to the best of us. Apprentices. Look, it's common. You're learning something new, you're feeling vulnerable. That is part of the learning process. What I always tell my apprentices is despite. Your newness to the industry and to this career path, you still know more than the client in the room. Even if the client has been doing Pilates for a long time, chances are they have not gone through a training course to actually know what the anatomy is, to understand the philosophy, to understand the theory and the Pilates principles. So even if you are in your learning process, chances are you still know more than them and you have to give yourself credit for that. And you have to walk into the room wearing that mental emotional shield of I have learned something that these people in this room don't know, and I am here to teach them what I've learned. You're not an imposter. You are in your learning journey and you're not trying to pretend that you're anything other than what you are, which is a new teacher, and that's perfectly acceptable for any of us to be new at anything in our lives. When you become more of a seasoned teacher and you are still feeling that, my recommendation to you is to find your inner Sasha fierce. And for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, there was an interview and I really wish I could remember who the interview was with and when it was, but it was a long time ago. It was probably on the Oprah show because I was an Oprah de devotee back in the day and it was. And she was being interviewed and she actually has stage fright or at the time she did this was, back when she was being interviewed, so maybe now she's perfectly fine, but she has stage fright. She talked about how she had imposter syndrome. She talked about how every concert or every performance. She would be very nervous and feel like she was a fraud. Is she really good enough? Is she really worth everybody's ticket price? Are they gonna hate her? Is she going to screw up? And she created a character for herself called Sasha Fierce. And this was her way of managing those emotions and those feelings. And it wasn't Beyonce that was performing, it was Sasha Fierce. That was performing. And she pulled out of herself a character, and this character was confident, was all knowing dominated. The microphone dominated, the stage captivated, the audience then was able to fully embody the role that as Beyonce, she didn't feel she had the confidence to yet. My guess is this day and age, Beyonce is perfectly fine being Beyonce, but Sasha Fierce is what helped her bridge that gap. That's what helped her kind of crossover from the feeling like a fraud, feeling like an imposter when she was earlier in her career to being the queen that she is now. So I would suggest that you find that in yourself. What is an area of your life where you're indomitable. What is an area of your life that you just, own it. Find that person. And bring that person to the studio. Bring that person to your sessions. Bring that person to your classes. Bring that person to your negotiations or your job interview. But that's the person that needs to walk in the room I would say that's the person who's sitting here talking on this microphone right now. If I was overtired or if perhaps I had just had a really bad conversation and somebody told me that, everything that I do sucks, maybe I wouldn't have the confidence to sit here and say this is how I would handle it, but. I am, channeling my confidence self. I'm in my flow. This is my zone, and I don't really care what anybody says. To be totally honest. You can disagree with me, but I have enough confidence and I have my Sasha Fierce and she's here and she's talking to that microphone, and when I leave here and I go do something else, I might feel less confident. I might feel vulnerable as I enter into some other version of myself. And not have the stiff spine and the steely look in my eye like I do when I'm talking to all of you about these things. So think about that. Draw up who that character is, and just simply own it. Own the room. You deserve to be there. They want you to be there. They're showing up for you. Some days you're gonna be great. Some days you're not your best, and that's okay. And sometimes you can even say, that wasn't my best. That wasn't my best. But I think we all got a good workout anyway. And next time I'm just going to make up for it and make you all suffer a little bit more. You can say something charming like that and everyone will laugh. So I hope that helps give you a framework or give you a direction for how to manage the little voices. That creep inside our head often and shush them and find Sasha Fierce. Okay. The third topic that I'm gonna talk about is breathing. I do hear from my new apprentices. Jessica, I am just struggling to not. Say the word inhale and I fully and totally understand that clients will push back and say, when do I inhale? Actually, let me back up a little bit. Let me first explain to you why people might be saying that. And the reason is because at EYT Pilates teacher training, I tell our students not to cue the inhale gasp. I know many of you are probably like, Ugh, she has no idea what she's talking about. Why would you not cue the inhale? The reason is when you cue the inhale and you cue the exhale. There is too much breathing, too much that happens, especially if we're working in any kind of a rhythm, especially if we're working in any kind of a flow. We do not want these deep inhales followed by these deep exhales. Your client is going to get lightheaded. Inhaling is instinct. Exhaling is not so you don't need to cue the inhale. I am inhaling consistently as I talk to you right now. Inhaling is always happening when someone holds their breath. They are not holding their breath at the bottom. They're not holding their breath after they've exhaled. They're holding their breath after they've inhaled. Think about it. Think about it in your own self. If you work out, if you do yoga, if you do Pilates, whatever it is that you might do, and if you find yourself holding your breath or the next client that you watch and they hold their breath, they hold it after they've. Inhaled. So you have to cue the exhale so that they release the air from their lungs, from their gut, from their body, and they get that circulation going. So the inhale is gonna happen no matter what, if you cue, inhale, followed by exhale, followed by inhale, followed by exhale. It's going to create too rapid of a breathing pattern that can lead to dizziness, that can lead worse case scenario to a hyperventilation. I've never seen that happen, but, that's the long term and farthest reaching ends of a quick breathing pattern of inhale. Exhale, inhale. Exhale. So we don't want that to happen. The third reason is, it's too many words. Once you become a more seasoned teacher and you are integrating flow and you're trying to link one movement to another, and you're queuing and you have a rhythm going and you have movement and you have transitions and you can hear me snapping and the background, right? And you have all these wonderful things that are making the group move in unison and you're all in sync with each other. By having that extra word of inhale, you are interrupting the flow. So my recommendation and how to break that pattern is to create this teaching formula of using the word exhale, followed by your action verb. So exhale and press, exhale and lengthen. Exhale and reach. Exhale and deepen. Exhale and stretch. Exhale and whatever. Fill in the blank. And when you have that, you are then creating a rhythm, a pattern that is rooted in the exhalation. And the exhalation is how we activate the abdominal connection. Activating the abdominal connection is how we create movements. So if you really stick to this. Regimen and this Q cycle or Q formula, you are gonna create that synchronicity in everybody's movement. You're going to marry the movement with the breath. You're going to not have anybody get too dizzy. You ultimately will also have people exhaling on both sides of the movement. And we all know in Pilates, the work shouldn't just be one direction. The work should be on both sides of a movement. That's a more advanced concept. When you have a brand new person, we just cue the exhale on the obvious effort, right? So in footwork, the obvious effort is pressing out. So exhale to press, return back in, exhale, lengthen back, return back in. Exhale, deepen that abdominal connection, return back in. Exhale, stay out at the top and hold it there for a moment. Excellent. Lengthen those arms along the side of your body. Let the shoulder blocks deepen the connection down the back of your shoulders. Lengthen through the cervical spine, the crown of the head, and now return back in. Let's do it two more times. Exhale to press and return. Exhale, lengthen back and return. Now move the feet to the arches, right? So that would be an example. I didn't say inhale at all. They inhaled naturally on the return. You can also say, take a new breath, right? So let's take round back on the short box, exhale to round back. Beautiful pause right there. Take a new exhale. Exhale again. Deep in that abdominal connection. Fantastic. One more time. New exhale. Exhale. Really connect those abdominals and then use that connection to return back up. So I gave three exhalation cues on that round back. I didn't say inhale once. I just continued to say exhale. And each time they exhaled, the abdominals got stronger, the abdominals got deeper. They didn't use their feet to pull themselves back up. They use their feet against that safety strap, right? Which is something we always see. People aren't using their abs, they're gonna pull themselves up with their feet and their legs, and that's not getting the best out of that movement. So that is my recommendation for how to train yourself as a teacher to get into that rhythm of dropping the inhale cues and really maximizing the exhale cues. So walk around your house, saying it, walk around your house. Exactly what I just did. There's nobody in front of me. I'm not sitting here in the studio. I'm at my desk. I have no person in front of me, and I just taught footwork. This is the studying, and this is the practicing that as teachers, we need to consistently do in order to sharpen our cues, get our rhythms, keep our pace, not speak too quickly, not speak too slowly, right? We wanna be in alignment with the client's movement. We wanna move their body with our voices, and using too many words, interrupts that. Okay, so those are our three topics for chat, EYT today. I hope that you enjoyed this episode. And I look forward to coming back and talking to you about the next few topics that have been coming in. Don't forget to email me, Jessica at EYT, Pilates teacher training.com if you have any questions that you want submitted. And they can be anything from teacher questions, apprentice questions, program questions. Studio owner questions. I would like to cover all topics on this podcast because I think it's relevant to everybody. As an industry, we get stronger when we know and are smart about all sides of this industry. All right, so till next time my friends. Bye. Thank you for listening to Chat EYT, the podcast. And a special thanks to Christy Carrubba at Next Chapter Exchange for producing and editing. If you enjoyed this episode, please follow or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. And of course, leave us a rating and a review if you like what you heard. We'll see you next time