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Alayne Wadsworth: Beyond the Diagnosis
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Alayne’s story is a powerful reminder that difficult circumstances may change how your life looks but they do not have to eliminate what you love.
Learn more about Alayne Wadsworth:
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I thought to myself, I'd done everything that I ever wanted to do. It's time. It's gonna be okay. And I went into surgery and I remember my doctor telling me like Welcome to Analog Leader.
SPEAKER_01Our guest today is Elaine Watsworth. Elaine, welcome.
SPEAKER_00Thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_01You know, I I got on your website and I looked at your Instagram. I kind of stalked you. So, you know, I I was like cyber stalked.
SPEAKER_00That's okay, it's it's entertaining. You it's hard not to sometimes.
SPEAKER_01It was entertaining and it was very, it was it there's a lot. There's a lot to you. So I'm really excited to get into this, and we've got a lot of ground to cover because you have done so many things in your life, so many interesting things. I think our audience is gonna love to hear about the things that you've done. So if you wouldn't mind, just start off by kind of introducing what who you are, what you're doing now, and then a little bit about your career path.
SPEAKER_00Okay, um I'm Elaine Wadsworth. Uh who am I? That's a question I ask myself every single day and what I'm doing. I have no idea, but it tends to just up here and then I'm there. Um I am foremost um a dancer. I started really, really young, and then I was diagnosed with scoliosis, uh putting me body brace for five years of my life, 23 hours a day. Um, and that led me to keep dancing and proving the doctors that I am capable of doing the things that a lot of people end up giving up on.
SPEAKER_01So wait a sec. You were in a body brace for five years. Yes. You danced prior to that? Correct. And then in order to get back in shape after the surgery, you danced after that.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, it was before and after. So I was I had was required to have the surgery because I was about to puncture a lung and I wanted to survive, so I chose, let's go for it. And I went to the surgery room, and ironically enough, I just finished doing dancing with the stars. I won a mirror ball trophy with my incredible college league team. And uh I thought to myself, I'd done everything that I ever wanted to do. It's time, it's gonna be okay. And I went into surgery, and I remember my doctor telling me, like, okay, this is it. You will not be able to continue doing the dancing anymore, and uh, we're just gonna get out the bed all your moves right here. And he put on a Lindy song, and him and I did the Lindy in the surgery room, and then I put I was put out, and five hours later, I woke up completely wrecked. Completely wrecked. I had to learn how to walk, roll over, get dressed, everything all over again. And ironically enough, not surprisingly, because I have the heart of a dancer, I just didn't want to give it up. And I had a partner who called me up and he said, I think you still have it. I was like, all right. So I went and auditioned and got the part, and him and I competed worldwide and got our title in a year. And I remember that day as if it was yesterday, I just remember thinking to myself, I am not taking this for granted, and I'm gonna give it my all. And it's not, I'm not gonna listen to everybody else telling me what I need to do, because you get a lot of coaches telling you, okay, you gotta fix this, this, this. I'm like, no, no. I remember I told myself after my surgery, this is about how much I want to share it with other people, and I want other people to feel it too. So we went on the floor and we competed, and it was like a game changer, I think, in that whole entire competitive world. They thought, who in the world just came out of surgery, had a major back surgery, fused from the top to the bottom of their spine, and then came on the floor and gave us that presence. And we we crushed it. It was an amazing experience. And so now my life has turned into this inspiring others to do the things that they dream of doing and um continuing to just let them know that it the possible, the impossible is possible. So I also there's a time period where I thought to myself that okay, well, if I can't have dancing anymore, I still want to express myself. So I started doing the acting and the modeling in front of the camera, and then I got a little more curious, like, what else is there in this world? I'm like, I want to learn more behind the camera scene. I want to learn how to work a camera. I want to learn how to direct people on set. I want to learn I I learned it all. And I became um an art director and creative director at um different companies, and I loved it so much. So that's I guess that's what kind of led me to where I am now.
SPEAKER_01So so that's a lot. It is a lot. That's that's crazy. I mean, usually scoliosis is kind of one of those things where you're never gonna be really mobile throughout your life. Even with the advances in surgery and that that people have, typically it's one of those things that changes your life to a more sedentary style of life from that point on. Isn't that isn't that?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. And the the community is uh it's a really cool community. We've we've grown so much, and I'm so grateful that we live in a time that we can be connected in different ways, whether that's through social media, um, the internet, um, calling each other. Like it's really tight. And where when I had my surgery, I didn't feel like I had that much support, so I had to discover this on my own. But discovering has also grown my community, so it's really cool.
SPEAKER_01So so as you're as you're going through this and and the surgery and the preparation and everything for it, how old are you at this time? I was 23. 23. Now, from what I understand, this was this was done in the children's hospital.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you did your research. I did my research, you know.
SPEAKER_01I want to look into these kind of things. So uh and that's because it y it's a childhood disease that you that you started with. Tell me about that process. How did they decide, yes, we're going, you're a candidate for the surgery, because usually it's done significantly earlier than 23.
SPEAKER_00Correct. A lot of people tend to have the surgery before they're 18, um, depending on the curvage. Um, if you have an over 12% curvage, they will require you to be in the body brace. And then I had an 84 curvage, so my spine was not only um S-curved, but it was also twisted. So I had a lot of ribs and hips and organs in different areas that were complicating. Um, but I decided to hold off on the surgery because I wanted to continue doing what I could do until it was an absolute must. I know a lot of people that have had the surgery at a younger age, and they seem to actually recover a lot better than I've experienced. I feel like people that are um 17 or older having the surgery have a little bit harder time recovering and they they suffer with chronic pain for the rest of their lives. So something that I I suffer with, um blessed with, I guess you could say. I've also discovered really cool ways that have helped me manage my pain and that can also help others. So I've been a good um, a good light to look look at when people are going through a really hard time or about to go through the surgery, or even parents that are having their kids go through the surgery, they'll they'll come to me and they'll find my my Instagram and think, oh my gosh, that's amazing what you're doing, and you've had the same surgery, and they're probably being told the same thing. You you may not be able to do um your dancing or your cheerleading or um any running or anything like that because of this surgery, and I've been able to prove them different. And and I want to be really careful with my words because it hasn't been as easy. It has not been easy. And um I'm still having to manage the pain every single day. But I know that it's possible. It's just gonna look a little different and it's gonna feel completely different, and you have to be open to that.
SPEAKER_01So, yeah. So all of this that you went through uh obviously has made you the person that you are today. So I'm guessing that it's something that you don't really regret.
SPEAKER_00No, no. I I mean I have to authentically and honestly and open and everything in this conversation, I have to say if I had the choice of not having the surgery, I would have not had the surgery. If I had the choice of I would have survived and been okay with the curvature in my spine, as opposed to having all the hardware and broken, literally broken of every single vertebrae to be fused and then dealing with suffering with the chronic pain for the rest of my life, I'm like, I think I would have opted out. But I think everybody would opt it out, right? If they had choice. I'm like, I think in life it's like we don't really have much control over it, right? So how do we manage with what is laid in front of us? And it's not even like I learned that you know, the difficulties and the hardship are always gonna be there. But what we have more control of is the the the outcome, how we respond to it. So I think once you've hit rock bottom a couple of times, you're like, this is a little familiar, I'm kind of done with with this. There's a better way of living life, it's ultimately up to you to choose that though. And I actually also heard that there's a part of your brain, the frontal lobe of the brain, it's a little tiny part that if you are willing to exercise it, it becomes stronger and stronger and stronger. So your choice becomes a little bit easier each time.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_00Crazy, right?
SPEAKER_01That is crazy.
SPEAKER_00Just it it's it it blows my mind.
SPEAKER_01So your story is very inspiring and and it makes me feel like, you know, I every now and again I think I've gone through some hard things, and then I talk to you, and it's like I've never been through anything in anywhere near that hard.
SPEAKER_00Right. I can't, I cannot. I'm like, people say that to me. I'm like, no. Your journey is completely your journey, and my journey has been my journey. And and um, you know, some kid falling over and first time they get a boo-boo or a scrape, it's like their world is destroyed. I'm like, okay, credit, man. That's like the first time you've ever experienced that. But I'm I don't know any different. This is something I've I've dealt with my entire life. So I I I'm like, just credit, just give yourself enough credit and grace and understand that you know we're all we're all experiencing pretty much the same thing in life.
SPEAKER_01So you you brought up the word grace, and I want to talk to you about something that we believe as analog leaders. That is, you have to start with the relationship you build with yourself. In order to have a good relationship with anyone in life, that begins with how do you treat yourself? What is your self-talk like, and how do you forgive yourself and give yourself grace once in a while to be able to struggle through things. I'm guessing that you have uh nearly mastered that self-talk thing. Tell our audience, tell us how you how do you deal with these really hard things to get yourself psyched up to be able to get through these?
SPEAKER_00I love this discussion, and I've had uh a lot of discussions with other people who have been suffering recently with this. Um I I'm pretty old-fashioned in the way of like I keep a journal. And I I keep a journal for those really hard days of let's talk about it, let's write it out, um, and then I'll go the opposite at the end of like, okay, what's positive about this? What can we do better about this to change the the wiring in my brain? Um but it also reminds me of the times when you know I run into the hardship again, and I'm needing to look back to where I once was. So I'm not I'm not in bed anymore staring at a ceiling for hours on out. I'm I'm getting myself up every morning excited about my day and what's to come. And I'm getting myself ready. I'm nutrition, like eating really well. Sometimes I enjoy a cake every once in a while. I'm enjoying life. Um, and I think it's just been that that mentality, that switch in my head that I just like life is so fragile. And one second, it can be switched, it could be over, it could change, you could be like on a major high in life, and then the next it's like I think of Frank Sinatra's like um what is it, shot down in May, like that song right there, like, oh, everything's great in my life, and then you're shot down. So what do we do? How do we get up from that? How do we keep going? You just you just gotta keep going. And the hard about like the hardest thing in life, the clock will keep ticking. It never pauses. And I'm like, that is so unfair. Can we just have a pause every once in a while? Like, no, it's gonna keep going. And and you know, even in like business world, if you're not gonna do it, someone else will.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And so we have to keep going. And it's also very important, I'm gonna like back and forth. It's also very important to kind of take care of yourself and take the pauses every once in a while.
SPEAKER_01So that take care of yourself part, that's get that's kind of what I want to focus on with you, is I believe that you know, if you don't take care of yourself, you're not ready to to help anyone else. And as a leader in industry or in music or whatever it might be, if you are leading other people or trying to get any kind of performance out of another person, you have to start with centering yourself and making sure that you're good. So I I'm from what I'm hearing, the way that you talk to yourself, the way that you journal, the way that you prepare yourself for each and every day, the way you end the day, nutrition, exercise, all of those things are kind of a it's a it's a huge program, if you will, that you put yourself through on a regular basis to stay ready. Tell us a little bit about that.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. I know that if I'm not taking care of myself, I can't take care of others. And that may sound a little selfish, but at the same time, it's like the more you put in with like making sure that you're in a better state of being, um in life, um, the more that you can give. And I mean, imagine how much bigger that could be when when you're in a better situation for yourself. Um, that's it's i I've had to practice it, and I still have to practice it. There are days I don't want to do it.
SPEAKER_01Are there days when you feel like I want to just climb into self-pity and then you can do that?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, or I was like, give me my cozy blankets. I just want to rainy days, I'm like, please give me the book. I just want to zone out for a while and no one bother me. Um yeah, or I just don't want to get up. I'm I'm hurting, but I know that if I don't get up, you know, the next minute, the next hour, the next day, what am I creating for myself and my future? And I'm asking myself, is this is this helping me? Is this helping others? And and so constantly ask yourself that. I think it's it's good to challenge that. And um I think if you're not willing to test those boundaries, um you're not willing to change. And if you're in a state of like something needs to change, it has to start with you first.
SPEAKER_01I always tell people if you're not uncomfortable, you're not learning, you're not growing.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Amen. I totally agree with that.
SPEAKER_01You know, it's it's it's in those moments of of discomfort where you're really nervous about how you feel or how you look or how you sound. It's in those moments where you're you lack confidence that you're learning and growing and gaining something, some knowledge to add to your toolbox later on. And to be afraid of those moments is to say no to growth.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. Absolutely. I always tell people, and people ask me, like, what what do you like? I forgot the question, but I'd always say to them, I'm like, I don't want to be the same person I am from a year from now. I want to be completely d someone different. And I'm not completely different. I don't need to go dye my hair. I mean, I chopped it every once in a while, but I mean, um spiritually and um mentally, I want to continue to grow. And I mean, have you ever heard of the the blue zone? Oh yeah. Okay, isn't that fascinating?
SPEAKER_01It is.
SPEAKER_00People that live to be past a hundred in these environments that you think they're gonna break a hip, they're going to like the how do they even keep up with that? They're still working, they're still making their own meals, they still have the community. And I'm just like, that is so incredibly amazing and valuable, I feel like, and for a lot of us. I think it's really important for us to continue to um, you know, have something to look forward to. Uh, whether that's, and it doesn't have to be big. A lot of people are like, oh, well, I'm gonna go for a trip, like, yeah, okay, sign me up too. But I would say like, you need to celebrate the little wins. Whether that's getting out of bed today, getting yourself ready, you made yourself breakfast. Congratulations. You know what I mean? Like you went for a walk, you called so-and-so. You reached out to someone that you just thought of just randomly, or you just you're I went and filled my gas tank today. That's a big win. Big win. I'm just I tell people and like celebrate the little wins because it's important. You're still you're living life.
SPEAKER_01So, how does your journaling tie into that?
SPEAKER_00I mean, my journaling, I I could probably do a little bit better these days. I've been a little bit more busier, but I do remind myself every once in a while like it's okay to just start writing. Whatever and I you can do the writing. I think it's also important to do something that you lose track of time. Listen to the records that you have here. Whatever that is, let it be feeding yourself and being at peace. Um, journaling for me has been something I've done since I was little, but uh again, I'm I must be old-fashioned. And I I just it's it's helped me. It's reminded me what my life once was and where I am now. And definitely not the same person. So do you journal handwriting a couple of things? Oh yeah. I'm a cursive writer. Yeah, that's me. Okay. Totally.
SPEAKER_01So I I believe there's a big difference between journaling electronically on a typewriter on a keyboard, you know, versus writing. Yes. What are your thoughts on that?
SPEAKER_00Uh there's something about the pages to me that are it's that crisp, it's that that like what's the what's the word? I'm like, I'm English. Um the the ink and pin and just writing um all your thoughts out. There's no computer telling me what words need to fit in. There's no AI generated thing telling me what I need to be thinking. I'm practicing critical thinking. I'm practicing my own thoughts. And then I'm I I feel like it's like therapy to me. I'm like, all right, I feel better. I got it out. Uh I I don't know why that's so different from typing. I'm like, I could type all day, it's fine, but I get pretty wiped out and drained, and then sometimes I don't even remember what I was typing, but when I'm writing, I remember everything.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. You know, I I read one time that uh it was a psychiatrist, I don't remember his name, but he he wrote that the greatest manifestation of what your mind is thinking is what your hands do. Absolutely. And that writing is is an extension. Once we put physical movement along with our thoughts, which is writing the words that we're thinking down, there's a connection that's built physically and psychologically. Absolutely. And it helps commit things to memory. So, you know, I I I remember when my first year in college, excuse me, my my first year in college, I would take notes like crazy. And I I thought, man, I never read those notes. You know, I never I never looked. I had these notebooks for every single class I went to, and I'd fill up pages, and I never read them. So I thought, well, next semester, I'm not gonna take notes, I'm just gonna listen to the professor. Ooh. So as I set my notepad down and my pen down, and I just listened to the professor, you know what happened? My mind wandered. Yes. And I forgot what the professor was talking about just that quickly. So as soon as I picked up the pen and wrote, I remembered. Isn't that so crazy? I think that's one of the reasons why journaling is so important.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I absolutely agree with that. A little note for college students out there. I learned it's a combo of listening and taking notes, and I recorded each conversation that I had or lecture, and I'd write down the time that I had a question about it, and I continued with my notes. So then I can go back to listen to the recording and then look at my notes. It was like it's crazy, but that's part of my ADD personality.
SPEAKER_01So you've talked about a lot of things that uh that are I think are really important, you know, uh journaling and starting with a good attitude and that. Let's talk just a little bit about nutrition. I mean, with your scoliosis and the surgery and everything like that, to come out of that and be able to dance professionally afterwards, that required a lot more than just uh good state of mind. Yeah. It required a lot of physical work and making sure that you fed your body what it needed. So talk to me a little bit about that.
SPEAKER_00Um you know, uh was interesting at that time before then. I just Knew I had food in my system, so I was just intaking food. And I was seriously one of those, like, you give me a large pizza and that thing was gone. Like I would down anything and everything. But I wasn't really cautious of like what I was intaking. It was a matter of like survival. Sure. I was a college student. It was ramen noodles and mac and cheese. Probably the worst thing I could ever put in my system. But I survived. After my surgery, being fused and having a um, it was no longer a spinal structure that I could actually rely on, though I never really had it because of scoliosis. I needed to provide a muscular structure. So I needed to change what I was intaking to help with inflammation from pain, from um the heavy narcotics that they had me on. And like that ruined me too. Ironically enough, I found out that I was allergic to everything. So that's also pushed me to figure out more natural ways of dealing with the pain management. So it's that's a whole nother topic. But nutrition-wise, I needed to make sure that I was getting the right nutrition to help build those muscles and that structure around my core and my center to help hold me up, help my arms to be held up, to help me like shape in different ways that I never thought I was capable of doing. Um, to be able to hold like even stand throughout the day. I remember first having my surgery, and I was like, I could probably sit up in a chair for the most time. It was like six minutes, and I'm like, I need to lay back down.
SPEAKER_02Oh, goodness.
SPEAKER_00I'm so exhausted, and I have to go take a nap, or it was like four hours, and I was in so much pain. So it was very, very crucial for me to like, in order for this to work, I need to make a change. So that meant nutrition was a huge one. Um, and it wasn't like the protein drinks and stuff like that. It was it was real protein. It was real meat, it was real vegetables, and I started being more aware of like there needs to be a really healthy balance in this as well. Because I can't overdo it with thinking, I mean, this is old thinking. Salads are great, you know, that's rabbit food. It's not gonna do much for you except for maybe actually make you lose weight. But I never needed to lose weight. I just needed to gain muscle and structural support. So I knew that the greens were great for inflammation. So how I was feeling was what I was going to be eating. I knew that carbs were actually very important for me to have that energy, that like like burst of energy. So if I had to go do rounds with my partner, I had a competition. Right before my competition, I was taking the carbs in. And I was like, okay, I need that, but I had also already prepped myself, getting the muscles, getting the right protein, and then knowing that the greens and stuff were to help me with inflammation. So my hard days, it was greens. If I needed to survive that day and I needed a little bit more and I was hungry because I was working out a lot, it was the meat. Um, it was it was just really important to have a really good relationship with with food. I think, you know, our pyramid chart that we have developed is totally upside down. Yeah. We need to flip that up and understand the importance of all of this and how it serves us ultimately in the end. Like you you can't do, I wouldn't be able to do the things that I have done without the right nutrition. I would have never been able to backpack across Iceland. And when a doctor's told me you can't lift more than five pounds, I wouldn't have been able to dance, continue to dance. Like it's a miracle. But at the same time, I want to take that credit. Like I've done the work. Sure. And I've had to continue to do the work in order for me to do the things that I I love doing today.
SPEAKER_01So I think it's really important for all of us to understand and hear what you had to say. There, your body doesn't need just one specific diet, it needs what it needs to recover, to uh cut down on inflammation, to build muscle, whatever it might be. And I think that to be a student of the nutrition and of your body is is a big part of it.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. Absolutely. And I love that you you covered the fact that you need to know yourself. This is not some type of gimme the program. I'm kind of against all of that. It's it's a matter of understanding what's best for you. And you're the only person that'll know that. So I like I advise people, I'm like, learn your anatomy, learn about your nutrition, and um be kind to yourself.
SPEAKER_01So we had a we had a guest on here a while ago that talked about how important it is to be curious about the people that you lead and things like that. I think that what you're talking about is being curious about your own cells and your own molecular makeup. You know, what are the things that that my body is asking for right now? And if we listen to our bodies, we can hear those cues. We can understand a little bit more about what are the needs that our nutrition should be filling.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and it's sometimes really hard to listen to yourself, right? Like we may have just uh spent 16 years of our life doing something that our parents have been telling us to do. And as you're like, well, okay. Once you realize, I I just feel like everyone's gonna deal with their demons, is like once you're willing to sit with your demon and like stare it in the face and understand this needs to change, uh, you're not gonna be changing. So uh you have to make the change. It's up to you. And the it's we live in a day and age like Google is amazing. Don't go with TikTok, that's a bunch of hush blah. Just go to Google, do your research on your own, figure it out and and test it out. Get curious. I think it's it's very important. If you're not curious, and any doctor out there, if they were never curious, they would have never come up with the cure.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I think it's very important for every single one of us to get curious, to understand what the cure is for ourselves.
SPEAKER_01I think the too often we we respond to the hunger, not to the need. Correct. I absolutely agree with that.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Absolutely. It's a bandage, right? I you know, I But sooner or later, I'm like like my parents, I have a father who who has just been, I feel like, just been so stubborn with just work, work, work, work, work, go, go, just in the grind, which I respect, it's okay. Understandable. But now he's come to a point in his life is like health has just pla like it's just gone down. And now he has no idea how to take care of that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's like, okay, well, if you want to live this life, you can continue living this life. Just know it's not gonna be a great outcome. And if you want a different outcome, like we're gonna start making some hard changes, but it'll become easier once we've developed better habits. Yeah. And we don't develop habits unless we've actually exercised those changes.
SPEAKER_01So I think that's a real important lesson to learn. Uh getting yourself mentally prepared and using good nutrition in order to prepare your body for for what it's going to come upon any and every day. The third component to that would be exercise. Now, this uh I know that you're a person who spends a lot of time in the gym. And I'd like to talk to you a little bit about what are the what are the things that that you do uh as far as your exercise routine is concerned, and how did that come about to where you you became someone who was an exerciser, you know, someone who just believes in fitness.
SPEAKER_00Yes, fitness is very important. Um kind of along with what I was saying earlier, it was like my early dance career was just a matter of showing up to class, learning the choreography, and going and performing it. It wasn't doing all these exercises that I've learned that's been very valuable to me these days.
SPEAKER_01Youth youth makes us really dumb, doesn't it? Because you can recover like that.
SPEAKER_00I know. Every day I wake up and I'm like, man, give me like 10 years to my laugh, that would be great. Rewind. I would so appreciate it. Um right and the there's a new pain, like, where did that come from? I don't think I even did anything except for charge my own phone. Like, I I don't know what I did.
SPEAKER_01Um my dad used to say getting old isn't for pansies. And youth is wasted on the young. So, you know.
SPEAKER_00A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Um I I knew that I had to have surgeries. So a little bit later in my life, I started doing a little bit of Pilates, and I figured that's good for elongation and keeping my flexibility. That's that's really important. And then I had my surgery, and then actually, this is where I discovered. I'm like just remembering this. Most people that have the surgery that I have done, scoliosis, they do not get fully straightened. And when I came out of surgery, my doctor tells me it's very rare, but we were able to straighten you all the way. And that is because of my dance background. I I had flexibility in my spine, and I was constantly just moving, moving is healing. And my spine remembered that. So when they were going in, putting the screws in, and started straightening it all up, like they said my levels were just calm. Like it just knew it was okay. And a lot of times you're in surgery and it goes a little too high, and that's when they know we have to back off or we have to stop right there and fuse the rest of it. And so that's when I got thinking, okay, if dancing has been this successful in my surgery, imagine if I were to continue moving my body and getting that muscular structure and blood flow help with healing. Like, this has got to be a better outcome. This is the only choice I have. Because I'm not gonna be staying on the couch for the rest of my life. I don't know. No, that's not my cards. I decided um, let's try some new stuff. I was told you can't do yoga. Well, let's go try it. Yoga, I feel like, is different for everybody, right? So I developed yoga skills. Um, I did Pilates, I even did Ariel, Silk Ariel. Yeah. I was like, I'm gonna try it. Like, let's just try it. Yeah, you can do it. You could totally do it. Um, and then I hit my 30s, and all of a sudden I'm like, okay, this is not all helping me. I need something else. So I started doing like the weightlifting class. And this was like a bar class, this is a little bit of bar stuff. So little stuff. Well, I started noticing, I'm like, things are becoming a little bit easier for me. And a friend came up to me, and I'll never forget this. She was teaching my class. She says, Elaine, I think you need to go up. Like, you need to go up a higher in weight. So I'm like, I don't know if I'm allowed to. But that's that's my brain telling me that I can't do something. That's me living in fear.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That's not me. That's uh, no, I can't do that. That's restricting myself. So that's when I was like, okay, where do I need to go? You need to come to this class. Okay, do you attend it? Like, I'm getting nervous. Yeah, I attend it. Okay, I'll show up. Well, I got in the days mixed up. Surprising.
SPEAKER_01We have history with this.
SPEAKER_00We have history with that. And I showed up to class, she's not even there. Like, here's my opportunity. I'm uncomfortable. This means it's good. I had no idea what to do at a at a bar. I didn't know how to do like free weights, like major free weights. I had never been spotted before. Like, heck, doing a squat like with over 100 pounds over your shoulders? Like, I've never ever thought of doing that. Um, and told that it that I could never do it. So I went to this class, and this amazing coach that's there, she has an amazing journey in life. She had the right support, she had the right leadership skills, she had the right, like right person to be an example to everyone else that's in that room. That it just it becomes like a ripple effect that everyone else becomes that person as well. You are who you surround yourself with. And I knew that I was in the right place when I discovered these people. Um, they've been a huge support in me and everyone else, and it's been a great, uh it's just been a great experience of like I am now challenged every single week to do something more than I ever thought I was capable of doing. And so it's not that I'm trying to meet a PR, though, sometimes I do. It's fantastic. Um, it's a matter of like, I'm showing up and I'm showing up with the right people, and I know that when I'm in that environment, I I'm capable of doing more. And so it just you become almost like competitive with yourself. What else can I do this week? What else can I do in this weight training? And you think, you seriously get to the point again, and just like I can't do this anymore. There's no way, and it's a mind game. And there's someone right there in this gym that will tell you you can do it. I had a I had a wonderful example. My friend Joe, she spotting me the other day, and I'm lifting these weights above my head. I'm like, I've counted it out. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 3, and she's like, You got two more. I'm like, thanks for counting. Like I'm thinking in my head, like, maybe I lost count. And she and I finished, and she's like, I knew you counted it out. I just knew you had a couple more in you. How many times have we counted it out and we stopped right there?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And we still had a couple more in us. And that's where the biggest growth comes from.
SPEAKER_01You know, that's that's such an important lesson to learn. If you surround yourself with people who will push you, who are willing to say, that's you've got more, you can do more, that's when you really grow. I know that for me, you know, in in business and many parts of my life, it's always been about the people who were cheering me on that told me I've I can do more, you can, you know, you can have more than you than you have right now. We settle really simply. It's something that I kind of think we're hardwired to settle. Once we get to that point, I counted it out, we're good, I'll settle there. If you just settle, then you never get really to that point where you're extraordinary.
SPEAKER_00I agree, I agree. Don't don't see comfortable.
unknownI tell people.
SPEAKER_01Don't be comfortable. So you've you've talked about a lot of things that have really been inspiring and and you've led an extraordinary life. It's it's inspiring to to listen to you talk and to see everything that you've been through. Most of us don't have that kind of a path in life. Most of us, you know, we get up and we do our we do our uh due diligence to live a good life and whatnot. Most of the people that we end up coaching and working with are people who are supervising other folks on the shop floor of maybe maybe they're at a restaurant, maybe it's a manufacturing facility or or a grocery store. But it's someone who leads a team of people. I want to go back to what you said. When you surround yourself with people who who think at a higher level, it creates a better level for you. If you surround yourself with people who are gonna complain and whine and not follow through, and then that's who you're gonna become. How do you find those people and and tell me about a few of the people in your life that have been those people that you've surrounded yourself with that have created who we see before us now?
SPEAKER_00I think it it I'm gonna go back to what you said is like you've got to work on yourself right first. Yeah. And so I think with what who we are is what we're gonna attract. And if we're in a negative mindset, we're gonna attract that same negativity. And so you've got to ask yourself, what type of fire am I feeding? Is it gonna be negativity or is it gonna be this like amazing light to be for everyone else? Um, and I think I think that's I think that's it right there. I think it's really important to start with yourself. Um mind, mind is really, really important. Practice those things every single day. And then um be cautious of what you are putting yourself in. Um if it's something that's uh I hate to say toxic because a lot of people use it to kind of just broad, but if this is something that's bringing you down and not supporting you in the way that um you may want to be going, and I almost want to put a pause on that. It's like it's also really important to know your goals. Um, to know where you want to be. Because otherwise you're gonna be just, I'm just gonna float here for a while until something appears. It doesn't work. You're gonna be there for a long time. And it's you have to make that choice and you have to have that target first. Um once you have that, then you're a little bit better aware of like, okay, this is working for me or it's not working for me, and you move on.
SPEAKER_01How do you set those targets? What's the process that you say to yourself, uh, this is my target. I want to I want to lift a higher weight, I I want to dance at a certain level or whatnot. How do you set those targets? And then what do you do to make sure that you follow through?
SPEAKER_00It's a promise to yourself, right? So um for me, setting those targets was something that I knew that if I had that target, I'm gonna come I'm gonna be able to survive this life. I know that if I have something more to look forward to or something that brings me happiness and joy, um, even if that's spending more time with my nieces and nephews and my family. Like that is important to me and it and I know how it makes me feel. I'm aware of that. So why wouldn't I set that target? Why wouldn't I continue to do the things that I love? And because it's it's fueling me, it's fueling others, and ultimately I know that I'm gonna be good at that. Because I have so much desire and and um passion for that. Why wouldn't you do that? And I almost want to give that a challenge for people that are out there, just like you're stuck, you're still, or you're just feeling like, I have no idea what to do. I'm like, go find that target. Go find that what sparks in you? Just do it.
SPEAKER_01You know, that's easy to say, or hard to do.
SPEAKER_00Hard to do, for sure. For sure. So how do we find that balance? So, you know, realistically, we gotta pay the bills, right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So we got we have to go to work. That nine to five, we clock in. So, how do we find that balance? Are you going for a walk? Are you calling that person? Are you eating your favorite food? Now I'm gonna be a little careful with that. Like I can have chocolate cake every single day, but be careful with that, you know? Too much is is never good. Um, but whatever that is, that that you need to make sure you ha you make that, you create that time for yourself.
SPEAKER_01I know it's one of the things that I fall a trap that I fall into. Uh you know, self-awareness here. I'll say, okay, tomorrow I'm gonna start exercising. Tomorrow I'm gonna get more serious about it, you know, and I and I'll even I'll even ride down in there, tomorrow I'm gonna walk two miles. And tomorrow comes and life hits you in the face, and you don't.
SPEAKER_00How do you avoid that? It's not tomorrow, it's today. It's this very moment. Are you willing to make that choice? You can't wait. You can't. You gotta just you it's you. You gotta do it now. So get up now. Yes.
SPEAKER_01So I I was teaching a class the other day and we were talking about safety in the work field. And I told people, the only thing that's real in life is what happens to us right now. The past is really only what we remember about the past. It's not real. We remember our memories aren't perfect. So what we remember may be somewhat of what had really happened, but it's really only our recollection of what happened. The future obviously lives only in our mind. It's what we hope for. But right now, right here, this is what's real and this is what we can do to make ourselves better right now. That sounds like something that you've mastered.
SPEAKER_00Thanks. I think I still have a lot to learn in that, but I definitely try and practice it that way. I know if I don't do it now, it's not gonna happen.
SPEAKER_01So tell us tell us a little bit about what you've gone through in your work life. You know, you've you've had this incredible journey with scoliosis, and the recovery will st I'm sure that will continue through the rest of your life.
SPEAKER_00It's a lifestyle, for sure.
SPEAKER_01Yes. But what have you done as far as your your work working career in that goes? Tell us a little bit about what you've done too.
SPEAKER_00I love this. And I was like, how are we gonna put the title at the bottom of Elaine Wadsworth? And I'm like, creative. It's all I could say at this moment. As honestly, as I I I love What I get to do. I love working with people. I love being part of a team, developing some awesome project and seeing the outcome and what it creates for other people. Like I love seeing the success. I just, I love the whole, whole process of it. Um, I even love, this is surprising, I even like the hard work where it's just like we are nos to the computers at the books, and we are just getting the hard work. And as long as I have an amazing team that I get to work with, which is mostly all the time, I've never worked with a team that I didn't like, it's it's it's a really cool thing to kind of see it all developed in the end. So I I would honestly say, you know, my career, what I'm doing now, um I love directing on set. I I love the prep of producing, getting the right team, the right models, um, the right camera crew. It's it's developing the community to create something that is something really great in the end.
SPEAKER_01And what really comes out of your work is is a marketing uh campaign. Absolutely. It does. So what are some of the marketing campaigns you've been involved with?
SPEAKER_00Um I just finished doing a Target commercial. That was really cool. I was like, they just they I worked with them uh previously from another job site, and I hired them as the team to help me with creating the commercial, and they said, we love working with you. We're curious if you want to come work for us. I'm like, absolutely. I get on and they're like, yeah, it's gonna be in Target. I'm like, oh, that's exciting. So this is completely different. Um different in a way of it's not the beauty industry that I've been working with. It was something a little bit different. Um, I've also been able to work with uh a little bit of like the gun community. That was totally different, also, and I am like I like understanding safety, um, importance of um carrying also, and I'm like, I used to be really nervous of handling a gun, and now I have a better respect for it. And uh I I feel like also I being an art director, I was over a lot of the the creative um team, and they were reporting to me and doing their jobs, whether that's graphic design work, photography, or anything to help with advertising, right? But I found it was really important to me to understand what they had to do too. And unfortunately, I had the experience of working with someone who who didn't necessarily look into um what were my strong points. Rather, they would they would tell me, and this is hard, but they would tell me the things that I needed to do better in, and that was things that I wasn't responsible in doing. And that put a lot of pressure on me, and it and it made me feel that I wasn't valued. Um so after not being with that company, I discovered, well, that sounds like a a space that I need to learn a little bit more about. So I went into let's learn a little bit more about graphic design. Let's learn a little bit about um, you know, the uh photography. I want to understand this so that when my team is lacking or needing a little bit more support, I can jump right in and help them out. And it's gonna be just fine. Or I understand what they're going through. And I think that's really important in in in leadership. I think it's really important to understand and uh maybe have a little bit of experience of like how much time that may actually take. So you're not piling all this, these projects and assigning them to them, then, then, them. It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You are then able to like stay take a step back. This is not healthy, this is not good for their life. Um I'm gonna I'm gonna push back. Because I know. I know what what it takes to be a successful team and what it help what helps my team become successful as well.
SPEAKER_01When you understand the work, you better understand what the people go through. Absolutely. And in order to lead people, you have to know what it is that they go through on a regular basis, right? Absolutely. So is most of your work freelanced now? It's all freelance now. So if someone wanted to work with Elaine Watsworth, how would they find you?
SPEAKER_00Um well, I'm old-fashioned. Whether you want to give me a call, that's totally fine. Uh text, you can check out my website, which is ElaineWattsworth.com, spelled A-L-A-Y-N-E, W-A-D-S-W-O-R-D-H. And of course, if you do some research online, you'll see a lot of me everywhere. Um, whether that's my dancing background and then directing on sets or making commercials. So, yeah, it's it's not too hard to get a hold of me, but you'll find me.
SPEAKER_01Well, we'll we'll link your website on this episode.
SPEAKER_00Awesome, thank you.
SPEAKER_01And uh any of the shorts and things that we use, we'll we'll tag you if that's okay. We'll tag your Instagram and okay, great. So we'll that that'll help our audience be able to find you. Uh in closing out, I really want to talk about something that you just touched on a little bit. It's important to to be able to lead an entire team. And as a freelancer, sometimes that team is going to be someone that you just meet. Yeah. And you're going to have a group of people that you've got to accomplish something with. How do you start from no relationship whatsoever and build a successful ad campaign, commercial, whatever it might be? What are the key things that you do when you first meet the team that you're going to be working with in order to set yourself up for success?
SPEAKER_00I love this question. I recently went through this um experience with a recent shoot that I did. And the first day they had me on, they asked me to be a producer. And they were like, and just do like a couple sets and stuff like that. But previous or prior to that, they had everything already planned. They had all the meetings with the client, uh, asking like specific shots, directions, what's going to be the shots, colors, everything. So it was all charted out. And once I worked with them that day, they said the next day they're like, we want you to direct. And we were just like, you seem to know exactly what to be doing. You do a great job working with people, and we want you to direct. So I walked in not knowing everything that was going on, but I also am familiar with what needs to happen in order for this to be a successful shoot, a successful um whatever that is. And so if I don't see it, then I'm gonna ask for it. And I think it's really important to ask the questions up front, be clear with expectations of like, what are we expecting from the client? Um, what are we expecting from maybe the main people that are over the project? And then um, you know, uh throughout the shoot, it's okay to ask the questions too. Hey, I see that you're wanting this product and this product checked together. Is this the same as this shot that you're asking for as well? You know, and just and just being on point and communicating and um making sure that you're all on the same same page. Just keep checking in. As long as we're all on the same page and on the right schedule, it's it's all gonna work out fantastic.
SPEAKER_01So clear expectations are really important. But you also touched on flexibility. What sometimes we have a clear expectation and we just go for that expectation and we have no flexibility, we're unable to change on the fly, as you say. So that flexibility is important too, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. Flexibility is very important. And I think it's um when I'm on a shoot like that, I just want to make sure that we're getting the things that we've asked for and what we're we're expecting. I'd like to keep a little bit of space, but if we're doing everything all right, and we should actually have a lot of flexibility to be like, oh, how about this idea? Or I see that um, you know, we've we've got the shots and we have a little bit more time. Maybe during this time we can do a little prep for the next shot. So we've got two shoots going on at the same time. Uh we become a little bit more like on top of our game, and and now that everyone's happy. Like, who doesn't want to go home early? Who doesn't want to go home with extra stuff that we've we just shot, we didn't think of creativity, and we're like, oh my gosh, that's the shot right there. And mostly and all the time, I've seriously I'm I'm gonna say 99% of the time, the shot that they end up using is something that we ended up developing on that flexible time.
SPEAKER_01So you tap into the knowledge of the crew, their thoughts, their creativity, they feel better about the work. The work actually ends up being a better product because of that flexibility.
SPEAKER_00It turns out better than what we even we planned it to be, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01Well, I have truly enjoyed this conversation. I I do have one ask of you before we end it. Uh, if you were to give advice to someone who was just promoted to supervise a group of 12 people in any setting, whether that was a marketing director or whether that was someone that was working on a film set and they were going to supervise the the crew, or whether that was someone who was just working in a grocery store and they're gonna supervise 12 people of their peers, what advice would you give to that person who's a newly minted supervisor in order to set themselves up for success with their team?
SPEAKER_00I love this question. I think it's very important to understand the people that you're working with. Get to know them first. Don't start ruffling the feathers and saying, I've got the idea, I know exactly how this is supposed to go. Because the skills are already there. The only way that that business is still succeeding and still running is the people that are there. So understand their skills and their strengths and get them to the spots that they need to be in order for that to succeed. Otherwise, it it'll probably fail. And you're gonna be wondering what happened? Where did I go wrong? I think it's really important to understand the people around you first.
SPEAKER_01That is so well said. The organization didn't survive on poor people. No. They survive survive because the people do their job well. And just because you're the supervisor doesn't mean that you've got to change everything. You've got to tap into the knowledge and the and the experience of the people who are working with you. No.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Fantastic advice. Elaine, I've really enjoyed this conversation. Is there anything else you'd like to say before we before we leave?
SPEAKER_00No, I this is great. I can keep talking to you. This has been so much fun, honestly. And I've really enjoyed the the discussions and topics and the direction that we went through this. I think it'll be really helpful for a lot of people. So I appreciate you having me here. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01Fantastic. As I said, we'll leave a link to your website on the on the link below. Uh and please continue to do the good work. Let's stay in touch. We may have to have you on again.
SPEAKER_00Okay, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01That's been Analog Leader with Elaine Wadsworth. Thanks for tuning in to Analog Leader. To learn more, check the links out below. Sign up for our Substack, and check us out online at analogleader.com.