The Magnetism of Certainty: Why Your Audience Can Feel When You're Faking It

You can read the perfect script, post three times a day, and follow all the "proven" strategies — but if your nervous system is exhausted, your audience will feel it. 

In this episode, Dr. Suzy McCleary breaks down why the hustle is failing you and how to replace it with the one thing people actually buy into: certainty. 

Discover how to use your Human Design Authority to stop performing, start leading, and finally become recognizable to the people who are already looking for you.

If effort alone created success, you’d already have it.  The shift happens when you understand how you are built to lead.

Download your free Human Design chart, The Velocity Code, and discover your personal compass for aligned growth 🧭. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hey there. Welcome back to Networking by Design. I'm your host, Susie McCleary, and right now I am an advanced human design practitioner. I am a doctor of Chinese medicine. I'm also a former registered nurse, a mindset coach, oh, and I am a manifesto generator with a 5-1 profile. So what does that all actually mean in real life? Well, they tell me it means I'm wired for speed. I run multiple passions at once, I see patterns fast, and I build systems that people can actually duplicate. But to be honest with you, before I understood my human design, none of that felt like a gift. In fact, it felt more like a curse. So I felt like I was constantly too much for everyone around me. And yet at the same time, I would feel like I'm still not enough. Because as we know, the noise out there is loud. Okay. You know the noise I'm talking about, the gurus, the mentors, the well-meaning family members. And I would get advice: slow down, Susie. Pick one lane, stick to it, follow the script, don't skip the steps, do the proven way, you know, the way I did. So I was a good student and I tried. So I really, really tried. And every single time I forced myself into someone else's rhythm, my energy, it would just leak. It was like pouring water into a bucket with a hole in the bottom. I would start out excited, and then within weeks, I I again would feel trapped. I'd create this massive momentum, and then I would completely stall out. I would get the results, I would get the numbers, I would make the money, and I would still sit there doubting myself, wondering, is this it, is this what success is like? And all because I would feel exhausted. So from the outside, it looked like business. And the people looked to me and like I'd figured it all out. But inside, I really felt like I was just acting. It felt like I was wearing a suit that was like three sizes too small. And it wasn't because I lacked the skill. It wasn't because I wasn't working hard enough. It was because I was actively overriding how I was built to move. So I was leading from what they call conditioning instead of by design. So, you know, if you could imagine taking a Formula One car and demanding that it behave like a city bus. So it might be safe and you stop at all the lights and you pick up all the passengers. Um, but is it fun? Not even close. Like it's a total mismatch of incredible power. So learning my human design didn't add some magical new skill to my toolbox. Uh, it wasn't just another certificate to hang on my wall. And it actually did the exact opposite. So it removed what wasn't even mine. So I stopped apologizing for my momentum and I stopped pretending I needed to be linear when I was naturally a spider web, literally, of ideas. So I stopped axing for permission to trust what I was already could see, what was going to work. Because as a manifesting generator with a sacral response, my gut already knew. And when I stopped fighting myself, something really powerful happened. So my signals stabilized, my decisions became clearer, my messaging got simpler, and people began to recognize themselves more in what I was actually saying. So I didn't get louder and I didn't start shouting on the internet. I got accurate. So the accuracy is what is magnetic. So that exhaustion lifted because I was no longer performing and I was finally leading. So my success today, the lifestyle business that I get to run, the freedom that I have, it all stems from that one shift. So following my intuition and then following what felt right in my gut and letting that enable the life that I actually wanted to live myself. So last week we talked a lot about shedding. We talked about shedding what we call the conditioning, shedding the industry pressure, shedding the noise that drowns out your natural rhythm. And when that noise finally fades away, something unexpected happens. And you're left with space. So now space can feel for a lot of people really incredibly uncomfortable. Because if pressure isn't pushing you to perform anymore, then what is? So if the urgency of I have to hit this rank by Tuesday disappears, then how do you choose what to do on Wednesday? If you're not constantly reacting to fires, then how do you lead? So for that you need a compass. And in human design, that compass is what we call your authority. So let's talk about your authority. So authority is your body's decision-making, what we call intelligence. So it's the ultimate truth teller. Okay. So it tells you what is correct for you. Not what is correct for your upline. Not what is correct for the Instagram algorithm. Not what is correct for whoever is having the loudest, flashiest launch this week. Most people try to lead and they lead from the mind. So we're taught this right from kinda, right? We make pros and cons lists, we analyze, we look at what's logical, we look at what's quick, we look at what looks impressive on paper, or on the social media feed. Okay. But here's the truth the mind is a brilliant analyst that's a terrible leader. So your mind can debate, it can justify absolutely anything. It can talk you into a bad relationship and out of a good investment in exactly the same afternoon. But it cannot create certainty. Authority is what creates certainty, and certainty is what people follow. Now, here's where it gets really interesting, especially if you're building a business, a team, or you know, a brand. Authority doesn't just affect the decisions that you make in private, it shapes what you broadcast to the world. So what you broadcast determines who can recognize you. All right. So because customers, clients, our builders, they don't join words. They don't even join your compensation plan. They join certainty. So when you're operating from pressure, when you're imitating someone else's script, when you're trying to prove your worth, you might be highly visible. You might be posting three times a day, but the right people don't ever feel you. It's like, you know, static on the radio station. The attraction feels really broken. So you feel like you're doing all the right things, but then at the same time, nothing is clicking. Let's walk through what this actually looks like in practice based on your specific authority. So we're going to look at how this plays out in the wild. So let's start with emotional authority. So about half the population has this. And if you have that emotional authority, your magnetism, so your true power, comes after the emotional wave settles. So it comes from clarity over time. All right. So when you're caught in the hype, in the urgency or the anxiety, when you feel like you have to decide right now or you'll miss out, your signal becomes totally unpredictable. So you're confident today. Yes, let's do this. I'm going to take over the world. And unsure tomorrow. Wait, did I sign up for I can't do this? What's happening? And that can all occur. And so we're all in in the morning and we're back and off tonight. So it is an absolute roller coaster. And here's the thing: so the people meant for you, your ideal clients and your team members, they're actually looking for safety. So they need to trust that your yes today will still be the yes next week. If they feel that instability in your frequency and they feel you hesitate, they might love your content. They might think you're hilarious, but they wait and they don't buy and they don't join. So authority in action for you means you let your clarity land before you actually broadcast it. So you've got to ride that wave. So normally, you know, um, you might want to sleep on it. They say it often takes around 72 hours for some people. So, you know, you don't want to make a decision from the height of your emotional wave or from the low. So you wait till it comes back into the center. And then that is when you are able to make your decision. So your authority in action means you let your clarity land before you broadcast. So we're riding the wag, and when you finally speak, you speak from a grounded certainty. So people then can relax the towards you, and your calm becomes absolutely magnetic. So you become the anchor in the storm. Now, let's talk about my people. So the sacral authority. So if you're a sacral, your attraction comes from your aliveness, from genuinely lit the F up engagement. So from that visceral body feeling of I fucking love this, I cannot wait to take the bull by the horns and just run with it. And that is your hell yes. But when you push that from obligation, when you're doing things because you think you should or because you're just trying to be disciplined, that's when our energy goes flat. So it's like the balloon losing the air. And it's interesting when you actually do things that you think you should do, things will often come up and will push that energy back. So the other night I did a post that I thought I should. And then the the blowback that I got from that was next level. And it was just a huge reminder to me that only posts what I really am lit up about and not the, you know, not anything else. And it was like literally like the universe saying you didn't post that from alignment at all. So you can be saying the absolute perfect words and you can be reading the perfect script, yet to the listeners, those words feel really, really heavy and they feel like a chore. So the right people for you, they are searching for vitality. They want to feel alive. They actually literally want to plug in to your battery and they want to plug into your energy. But when you feel forced, when you feel like you're pushing literally a boulder up a hill, they will scroll past. They will completely tune out. So your authority in action for us sacral beings means that we create, we speak, and we only invite when our body is absolutely lit the F up. So when you do that, people feel momentum just by being near you. They want what you have. And you don't have to convince them your energy will do all of that heavy lifting. And next is our splenic authority. So if you're a splenic, your magnetism is precision. So it's it's presence. It is clean, it is instant, it's intuitive knowing. So it is that flash of instant in a moment. So for a lot of people, it can come and then just go. So it's you've really got to be able to tap in to what was that first feeling that I had in that split second, in that first moment of when I heard about that. But if you start doubting that instinct, if you start explaining it or trying to convince others or yourself logically while you're doing something, your signal gets blurred and you lose your edge. Okay. So your people are highly intuitive themselves. They are reading your micro expressions. So they're reading whether you feel safe and grounded in yourself. So if you hesitate, they'll hesitate. Okay. If you second guess your hit, they second guess you. All right. So authority in action for Splenix means trusting your instant awareness, even if it doesn't make any logical sense right away. But you have unapologetic presence, which becomes the permission for them to move quickly alongside you. All right. Okay. So notice what changed in these scenarios. You didn't learn a better sales script. You didn't learn a new objection handling technique. And you didn't buy another course on Facebook ads. So what you did is you became recognizable. So alignment doesn't force attraction. It actually reveals it. It clears that static so that people can finally hear your song. And here's why this matters so much. Because human beings are not deciding with logic first. We would like to think that we do, but we don't. We are deciding with our nervous system. Okay. So before someone understands the details of your offer, before they analyze the price point, before they even consciously know why they trust you, their body has already answered one fundamental question. Do I feel safe here? Safety is coherence. It is that consistency between what you're saying and what you are actually feeling. So have you ever had that moment where you're just like, I don't even know what she's selling or what she's doing, but I actually just want to be a part of it. I will buy whatever she's offering because you just know in that moment. And you're and she hasn't even spoken to you. She hasn't told you anything, but you just feel that in your body that, you know, she is for you. And that's what I'm talking about. That is the congruence that we're feeling, that the safety. Okay. So it is a consistency between what you're saying and what you're actually feeling. And you need to feel that in yourself for your audience to feel that as well. So when your words are actually matching your body, that's when people will relax. So their nervous system literally says, okay, this person is congruent, I can trust. But when they don't match, when you're saying, I'm so excited about this opportunity, but your body is screaming, I'm freaking terrified and I'm exhausted. Uh, something in them tightens. They might not even know why. They might still like you as a person, but they wait. Okay. So this is biology. It is not your mindset, it's not woo. The nervous system is constantly scanning the environment for certainty. And so it's not scanning to see if you're perfect, and nobody cares if you stumble over your words. It's not scanning for hype. And, you know, we're all immune to hype by now. It's actually still scanning for that certainty. So that's why authenticity is so incredibly persuasive. And let me tell you, authenticity is expensive. So it costs the mask you've been wearing. All right. So it costs you the imitation. It costs you trying to be impressive to people who don't actually matter to your purpose. But what you gain is trust. And trust moves faster than pressure ever will. So when you are aligned with your authority, when you are moving correctly for your design, something remarkable happens in your business. So your sales cycles shorten. So people don't need six months to decide. So you get faster follow-ups. You are chasing people down. All right. And your objections soften because they aren't really objecting to the price. What they're objecting to is your lack of certainty. So because people aren't trying to figure you out anymore, they can just feel you. So decision making becomes a mutual recognition instead of a negotiated battle. And mutual decisions move really, really quickly. This is exactly why two people can offer the exact same product, read the exact same words, present the exact same compensation plan, and get completely different results. Okay. So one person is transmitting certainty and the other person is transmitting effort. And your audience can feel the difference in a millisecond. Okay. So if you're feeling like you're hustling and it's not working, the hustle isn't failing because you need better tactics. It's failing because your nervous system can't fade congruence any longer. All right. Eventually the body tells the truth. It always does. And when you finally let it, that's when you stop fighting your design and everything becomes lighter. It becomes cleaner. It becomes faster. So I want you to imagine something for a second. So I want you to imagine what it would feel like if you wake up tomorrow morning and know deep in your bones, the right people can recognize me. I don't have to chase them. I don't have to perform for them. And they arrive because my signal makes sense to them. And then they stay because it remains true. That is what true leadership is. It's not being louder than everyone else in the room. It's being cleaner. So if you are committed to learning how to build a lifestyle business that actually supports you instead of, you know, sucking the living life out of you, this is the work. So this is the foundation. And if you want to go deeper on this, if you want to personally work on building out these pillars, your energy, your strategy, your mindset, and your messaging, there's a quiz and you'll find the link below this show in the episode notes, and we can see where you're leaking. So here is your experiment for the week. I don't want you to just listen to this. I want you to practice it. So before you post on social media, before you invite someone to a call, before you send that follow-up message, I want you to pause just for three seconds, take a deep breath, drop out of your head and into your body. And I want you to ask yourself, am I trying to be impressive right now or am I being accurate? Am I moving from certainty or am I moving from pressure? One builds magnetism, the other builds resistance. Because accuracy builds safety and safety builds trust. And trust builds absolutely everything else. So next week, we're going to take this a step further. So we're going to talk about embodiment. We turn this inner certainty into our outer presence. We will discuss how alignment becomes influence the very moment you enter the room or the newsfeed and how people trust you before you even open your mouth. So until then, let your body lead. And if you haven't downloaded your million dollar compass, the velocity report, um, what are you waiting for? You'll find the link again in the show notes. below this episode and inside you'll discover exactly how you're uniquely designed to make decisions, build trust, and attract the people who are already out there looking for you. So until then, bye for now