Episode 15: Conversations with my Younger Self

In this episode of The Locker Room, I interview myself and reflect on the biggest lessons I’ve learned from this season’s conversations. This episode explores what could have put me in a better position to succeed as an athlete, including relationships, maturity, confidence, self-advocacy, versatility, preparation, and learning how to go all in while you still have the opportunity.

I also talk about what I miss and don’t miss about sports, how I want to stay connected to the game moving forward, my thoughts on my kids playing sports one day, and what current and former athletes can take from my career. Because the game changed, but there is still purpose in reflecting, growing, and helping the next athlete see what you could not see at the time.

The Locker Room is a podcast for former athletes navigating the confusing and often painful transition from a life centered around sports to a life outside of the game. For many athletes, walking away from sports is more than the end of a season. It can feel like losing purpose, community, and even a piece of who you are. One day, your life is built around competition and performance. Then suddenly, it's not. No schedule. No team. No clear version of who you are supposed to become next. This podcast explores the emotional weight of that transition: the identity crisis, the anxiety, the depression, the feeling of being lost, and the pressure to “move on” before you have fully processed what you left behind. Through honest conversations, personal reflection, and relatable stories, The Locker Room creates space for former athletes to feel seen, understood, and reminded that they are not alone. Life after sports is not just about finding a new career or routine. It is about rediscovering purpose, rebuilding identity, and learning that who you are has always been bigger than what you did.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What is up, everybody? It's your boy Jalen, and welcome or welcome back to the Locker Room Podcast, the number one podcast in the world for former athletes to engage in conversations about the difficulty of transitioning out of a highly committed sports lifestyle and into normal life. The first part of today's conversation is centered around one big question. After everything I've heard this season, what themes show up the most and what would I have done differently? Because when you really think about the totality of an athletic career, it's not just about games, stats, or the level you ended at. It's also about the parts of the game you had to evolve beyond to become better. So today, I'm going to interview myself and reflect on what could have put me in a better position to succeed, what I would change about the way I approach sports, what I miss and do not miss about being an athlete, and how I want to stay connected to the game moving forward. So whether you're a former athlete, a current athlete, a parent, coach, or somebody who loves the game, this conversation is guaranteed to give you something to think about. But before we get into it, make sure you subscribe to follow the show, leave a five-star review, like, comment, and share this episode with another athlete or sports fan who needs to hear this conversation. Now, let's bring it back to

Who I Am And How I Got Here

SPEAKER_00 1:11

the locker room. All right, Jalen, go ahead and introduce yourself, please. Yeah, so my name is Jalen Ridges. I played football and ran track at the Division II level at Morehouse College. I started my journey off at the University of Charleston in West Virginia. Spent a year there, went to JUCO, spent about a year and a half there, then ended up going to Morehouse for my third and final school, ended up being my resting place, but learned a lot over the course of my career. Coming out of high school, wasn't a highly recruited athlete, but I did end up making some things work as far as um my recruitment and everything. But yeah, without getting too too far ahead of myself, that's just pretty much a rundown of who I am and how I got here. All right. So,

Why I Wanted To Interview Myself

SPEAKER_00 1:51

why did you want to do an episode where you interview yourself? Yeah, so I thought this would be a good episode that allow me to just reflect on the things that I've learned this season. You know, we've had some great people on here, most of them close to me, but had stories that I knew very little about. You know, I I get I got a baseline information or explanation in real time as it was happening. But as you, as everyone knows, we all have our own stuff going on. So we may not get into the nitty-gritty of how those things played out. But as I'm having these conversations, I'm just thinking about wow, this is some really these are gems that that they're giving out. And I wish that I had noticed these things and taken them more seriously during my time playing because because they're just so valuable and and how much more my game would have been impacted, how much my future would have been impacted if I could have you know grasped those things and and really applied them to myself. And it's just really a testament to it success taking the village, you know, relationships are the currency of success. When when you have these relationships in place, especially as a younger person going through the recruiting process, going to high school, and I'm sure of college athletes going through the recruiting process of going to professional, well, yeah, going to professional sports, you have to have these relationships to fill in the blind spots. You have to cover your blind spots rather, because it's not a solo journey. You need help. You need people that can see further than you can, think better than you can, you know, and perform better than you can. So you can learn these things and you can be molded into this kind of prototypical perfect athlete, if you will, that that really doesn't have any any flaws in the game, or at least doesn't have many flaws. Um, because you know, we all have have things that we do good and do bad and things we need to work on. But the more you can minimize that, I think the better you will be in the long term, just because you'll be more of an asset to any team. And I don't mean flaws in just the physical aspect. Obviously, this season we've been talking a lot about the emotional aspect, mental aspect, relational aspect, and also mental, not just being like mental health, the mental side of approaching the game, such as watching film, asking your coach questions, learning what it means to be in the right spot at the right time, doing the right thing, going 110% by instinct, so you can be as free as possible to impact the game in certain ways. So, yeah, I thought this would just be a cool way to kind of sit back and and reflect a little bit. Okay.

Biggest Themes From This Season

SPEAKER_00 4:31

After hearing from the guests this season, what things kept coming up that made you reflect on your own athletic career? I would say the biggest one is relationships. The episode with Hawk, I think that was last episode. He talked about the relationships he had with his college coaches and that how it really unlocked his potential. I mean, this man played all three positions in the defensive backfield and became one of the most prominent players, I'm sure, in his class. And I can't remember the exact timeline, but I'm I basically I think the last two years he was saying he was pretty much kind of one of those guys that the team I mean, obviously, he talked about how uh his teammate Jordan, I believe, they worked out together and and got better at that nickel position together. But and this is I'm talking about football right now, but this is really applicable to any sport, it doesn't really matter. Uh but Hawk was talking about how him and Jordan worked at the nickel position and helped each other get better. And although Hawk got the nod to start, there was a game. Hawk went down, Jordan came in and pretty much balled out. So, but further than that, Hawk talking about how his English teacher of all people was the one who opened his eyes to the relationships being the currency of success because the English teacher would basically give them the formula to succeed in the classroom, but only if you came to talk to him during the week. Or I can't remember if it's a man or a woman, but basically, communication, having that constant communication allows you to understand and get into the mind of the master. Without that, you're pretty much just going to be lost in a sauce, and you know, you're gonna be on your own devices, you don't know what you're looking at, especially as a young player coming to a college environment. The stuff moves a lot quicker, the people are a lot bigger, they're a lot better, they're a lot smarter. So coming out of high school and you being hot stuff and you being the top dog, you don't really have to put in all that work to be a great high school player. Like, to be completely honest, you can be in a good system, you can be in a on a team that has just some freak athletes, and y'all just go out and play. There doesn't really have to be much of a game plan until you run into other great teams where skill is more a new of a neutral aspect of the game, and then it comes into planning and things like that, planning and positioning, but relationships, and even Trent talked about that. How in his recruiting that basically got him to got him in the door at Presbyterian College because a coach transferred from I believe he said it was Mercer and ended up going to Presbyterian. His recruiting hadn't turned out the way he had hoped, and so Trent basically banked on that that that coach transferring, and and the coach was still interested in him. Uh, they had they had maintained a good relationship over the course of that because football signing day is in the springtime, early spring. So they had maintained a good relationship from the fall to the spring, and when all this stuff is going on, and we're all trying to figure out where we're going. Uh, you know, Trent did a good job of of maintaining that and not burning a bridge and not blowing the guy off and creating an enemy, so to speak. And you know, look look how that that affected him. He ended up spending four years at Presbyterian and uh and really saw the program. I don't know if turnaround is the right right word, because when they started, when they when he came in, they underwent a major conference like shift, if you want to call it that. And then uh, you know, he spent that last COVID year playing at Presbyterian. And basically he was saying by his senior year, they had all, you know, the program was just in in a lot different place than it would have started. But he came in uh or he ended it with the guys who he came in with, basically. Um, all of them that that stayed, you know, they they basically went through it all together and uh ended up just being a really cool experience. And then he had opportunity, he had the opportunity and seized it to go to Northwestern, which is a major D1 school. I believe the I believe Northwestern is in the Big Ten, if I'm not mistaken. Uh, it doesn't really matter, but Northwestern is a huge school, very prestigious, uh, great education. And uh uh the football is coming up. I think actually uh I'm recording this on in mid-August, and Northwestern, I think, just received like $35 million to be split up in different installments over the next three years to help specifically with if I'm not mistaken, I believe it was just football. I don't think it was sports in general, I think it was football, and the people that were saying, I know I'm getting off on a little tangent, but uh it'll come back in a second. But they were saying that the people who gave the money saw how Indiana was one of those schools who benefit majorly benefited from having donors give back to the school, specifically to the football program, because football is the biggest sport at most of these schools, even schools you think about Duke, Kentucky, Kansas, St. John's. St. John's might be more of a basketball school. I don't even know. I don't even I never even seen them play football to be honest. But uh like Syracuse. I'm starting to think of some more basketball schools, North Carolina, all these schools that are great at basketball, being basketball being the second biggest sport, football is way bigger. They have way more athletes, way more fans come to the games. It's not even close. So, what Indiana learned is that hey, if we get this football game football team popping, the whole school is gonna follow behind it. And also, it's gonna increase the revenue of the school. People are gonna visit Indiana more, they're gonna buy more stuff, so on and so forth. So I think Northwestern has that same idea in mind because they're in the same conference that if they pour into the football team, then the rest of the school will follow. I'm actually gonna look that up real quick because I want to make sure I'm not saying the wrong thing, saying that Northwestern is in the Big Ten. Is Northwestern in the Big Ten conference? Yeah, Northwestern is in the Big Ten. And let me double check. Is Indiana in the Big Ten conference? Yeah, let's just go ahead and settle this right here. Y'all, y'all see. I don't I don't know, but you know what? I don't even care. Okay, well, it's taking a little bit. Oh, here we go. Let's see, let's see if this gives me what I'm looking for. Okay, no, it doesn't. Anyways, relationships, that relationship Trent had allowed him, or essentially, I don't know if he would say this, but you know, I'm gonna speculate here. I would be willing to say that relationship with his coach at Presbyterian opened the door for him to go to Northwestern because had he not done that, who knows where he would have been. So I would say, other than relationships, just versatility and flexibility. Hawk talked about that a great deal. Janai talked about that a great deal. About and uh Marjon and Jack also talked about it a little bit. This that was in the beginning of the season, if y'all want to go back that far. But versatility and flexibility were two traits I did not have. Early on in my career, I started football, I think around six. And you know, funny enough, when I first started, I played left tackle, and so I was blocking like when I first came in, McCurry Park, and uh I think I took maybe a year off to run track, and I came back, played on uh another team at in McCurry, and I played safety. But um, and this is still I was still pretty fresh to football because like I said, I went from playing linemen to now playing DB. And you know, I don't really hang, I didn't hang around a lot of kids, at least outside of school, that played football. I don't think at that time, when you're around like eight, eight or nine years old, I don't even know what the heck what grade you're in at that point. I and I'm not about to look it up, but I'm sure that's like that's like probably what fifth or sixth grade? Who who knows? Whatever. Uh, anyways, I just didn't develop that ability to be versatile and and be kind of flexible to mold into whatever the team needed me to be. Like I didn't, I didn't not have that chance to grow into this holistic football player. Instead, I was kind of I was more so forced into one specific mold, me playing corner in high school and in college, but coming up playing safety basically until until ninth grade. I played safety. So when you hear story, when I heard stories like Trent, uh Trent playing basically any position they needed in Rec Ball, ended up coming to safety in ninth grade, Hawk playing D end in Rec Ball, playing a little bit of running back. Um, and Hawk played a little bit of running back in middle school and high school as well, which you know, obviously that's that's great. But those are examples of players that have gained versatility in their younger years, and that's basically what something that stays with them for the rest of their career. They're they're used to having different positions they can impact the team in. Whereas me, I'm like, if I go play running back, I gotta, you know, I know it's it can be simple enough in high school, but still, do coaches trust you to do that? And that that's when it comes back down to the relationship. Do the coaches trust you to put your body on the line for the team? Do they trust you to understand your assignment and get where they need you to go? Like, because especially in the middle of a season, we don't have time to figure out who needs to play what position. It's just gonna be who the coach trusts more. Are they gonna fit and then put them in there? They're not gonna be no, they're not, they're not doing all that. Versatility and flexibility. I I don't think that really, I don't think it negatively affected me or my college experience because uh, well, I did want to switch to receiver at some point nearing the end of when I stopped playing football just because it was so much of a drag at that point. I think trying to switch to receiver may have livened it up a little bit, but I'm gonna be honest, that playbook that was just that was just it was OD. Um, and there there are ways to break it down and make it more simple. So I've heard I just at the time, it was, I think it was right before we were, it was in spring practice. I was practicing that receiver. I talked to my corner coach before my position coach. He said it was cool, and if it didn't work out, obviously I'll just I'll just come back to corner. And we left for spring uh spring break and covet hit and never came back. And basically, when I came back, that was when uh football was a drag to me. You know, I was in a different stage of life. All that I'm going on another tangent. Sorry, but yeah, I I would say that the biggest thing for me would have been learning how to play at least one other position. I don't know what that position would have been, probably receiver, just because with my frame and build, that would have been the next best thing. And honestly, as I grew more, I felt more equipped to play receiver than DB. Um, the only thing that my the only issue was I did not have the best hands, but obviously as I got older, that improved as well. And I think some of that had to do with my hand-eye coordination and my ability to actually see the ball, but you know, that's neither here nor there. But the reason I say that is because you know, I'm a fast guy and I feel like having a fast corner is great, especially if they have size and they they know how to play the position. Uh for me, I just felt like my skills weren't being utilized properly. And so I was like, man, let me try receiver because you know I know I I got the footwork to run routes and and block and things like that. I just really the playbook was my only obstacle because everything else was fine, especially in that spring leading up to COVID. But yeah, uh the things that kept coming up were relational currency and versatility and flexibility. Great.

What I Understand Now

SPEAKER_00 15:45

What do you feel like you understand now about sports development, recruiting, injuries, regret, and opportunity that you did not understand while you were playing? That's a great question. I would say it's much more nuanced than I thought while I was playing. Like you have to be more, you have to be very intentional to get to maximize your opportunities to get to the next level. Just like we talked about with relationships, flexibility, you have to understand what coaches are looking for, and also understand that coaches communicate with a lot of people. You don't know who the coaches know. And I would say specifically on the like development and recruiting side, that's probably the main way to put yourself in the best position to make it to that next level. And now, when it comes to things like injuries, that's tough because sometimes you can't control injuries. But I think there's more information coming out now that there are ways to prevent certain injuries, the most too prominent being like ACL tears or really major knee injuries in general, but ACL being the most prominent. And I don't know what the next one would be. I don't know if that would be Achilles in football or maybe like a peck peck tear, uh shoulder injury, hamstring. It's probably position dependent, but I would say uh ACL and Achilles are gonna be two major certain major injuries, and then uh stuff involving the shoulder and hamstring, those are those are a little bit lower grade, I but depending on the severity, obviously that differs. But, anyways, yeah, I just feel like it's there's just more nuance involved than I than I could have imagined. Like you do you really need to be on your P's and Q's and and be willing to invest the time into it. That's that's really the main thing. I think if you're willing to invest the time to identify things that your game needs in order to make it, then you'll do it. I and I think having the people, the right people around you, having the right mindset, excuse me, maturity plays a lot into it. I was not very mature. Uh, and again, I I don't want to make it seem like I'm making excuses for why my career did not turn out the way that the way that it did. I don't know if people are listening to it. I don't know if you all are listening to it thinking that. And I know I thought about that before, like, oh Jay, you're just making excuses. Um, they're not excuses. I think these are explanations for things for the multitude of reasons that my career did not pan out the way that I originally hoped it would. So I would say if there's more nuance, it's not black and white, and taking the time to find the right resources about these things will help you. Um, it will help you in the long term. But I think it a lot of it just goes back to relational currency, like finding finding people, building relationships that can help you plays it plays a big part. Awesome.

Regret, Gratitude, Frustration, and Peace

SPEAKER_00 18:29

When you look back at your career now, do you feel more regret, gratitude, frustration, peace, or mix of all of it? Honestly, when I look back at my career now, I feel I do feel peace. I feel peace in the sense that I was I literally was able to leave on my own terms. I didn't have to stay in a position because I had a scholarship or at least a major scholarship to where I was basically stuck or I was gonna have to figure something else out. I was able to kind of yeah, and you know, I was just able to control when I left. I didn't I didn't feel tied to the game of football anymore, and that was it. I didn't have to go through this arduous process of you know stressing about how I'm gonna get off the field, how I I wanna, you know, part ways with it. Because even up to the point where I left, I was already kind of identifying like, yo, this is severely impacting my performance. So I wanted to literally stay in my dorm all day. At the time, like I said before in previous episodes, I was becoming a Christian, and or I had become a Christian or in the process of it, something like that. And that's all I wanted to do. I wanted to stay, read my Bible, uh, pray, things like that, which you know, from the typical athlete perspective, it's like, bro, you need to lock in, what you got going on? But that was such a major transition in my life. I didn't want anything to get in the way of that, and you know, also I was actively playing for praying for God to remove anything that got in the way of that relationship with him. And so I believe that football was one of those things. And like I've mentioned before, uh, you know, it the the environment was just it it was not very good, man. We we were not a good team. I think in some areas we were well coached, in some areas we may not have been. I don't know the things that other positions were going through, so I'm not gonna say they weren't well coached. But what I will say is that the the our organization and accountability to each other as a team, I don't think was very good. I don't know really what could have changed that. I just think that the players that were supposed to be leaders on the team, they did not lead by example. Now, Jalen, did shoot could you have led by example? I probably could have. And I think to some extent, I think to some extent I did because I came in there, nobody knew me, and I basically I literally started that same season I came in after not having even played a lick of football in two years, came in and started that season. So I think I did lead by an example to an extent, but because I didn't basically uh place myself into the team deep enough. Like I kind of stayed aloof from my teammates, which that that was that was bad on my part. Um, I'll I believe part of that was being scarred from past experiences, not wanting to get too close to people, and and they be ended up being some fools and leading me into a path that I don't want to go down. I think that prevented me from from from integrating myself with the team. There's a word, too much. So I I do feel peace that I was able to leave on my own terms. Now, I do there is a lot of regret. Oh, not there's not a lot of regret. There I do have regrets about specific things, but I would say some of it is just frustration. Uh, because just looking back, it's like, ah man, that's so simple. But like, why didn't I get it right then? What do I have some regrets about? I think I've talked about this in a previous episode. I I regret not focusing on my grades. I think my grades would have solved a lot of this. I regret, hmm. I think I also regret not focusing on track just as much as football because I think I did have a future in track and maybe even a successful future with both sports at the same time. But I kind of put all my Eggs in football. And actually, Coach Clark, if you ever listen to this, Coach Clark did tell me to, you know, don't focus on football so much and and you know get in track also, but didn't listen. And that's really about it. I'm not gonna say other things that I feel frustrated about are regrets because a regret implies I want to, I guess, change the outcome. I don't even know what the definition of regret technically is, but I know we know we all know what a grit is. But but yeah, I would say it's a mix. Uh it's a mix of things. I'm grateful for everything sports taught me. I'm grateful to be in the position I am now to have a voice that can hopefully impact people to make better decisions about their careers. You know, I have peace where I am right now. I didn't have peace before, like I've detailed earlier on. Uh, but I do have peace now. I I love my life, I love everything I have. I don't think if my career would have been successful, I would have met my wife. I don't think I would have had my beautiful family. I don't think I would have the relationships with my family and friends that I have now. And you know, who knows what kind of person I would be if I had been successful, you know. So I think, or I know everything played out the way it was ultimately supposed to. I just don't know. Well, this is what I should say. Everything played out how my effort allowed it to. Like, I didn't I put in the exact amount of effort to get exactly where I am, and that's okay with me. I can't change anything about it, but I learned a lot in the process. Like, I had to go through this process, starting this podcast, dealing with the feelings of being an ex-athlete, thinking I'm an athletic reject failure X, Y, and Z. But you know, I was able to gain a lot of clarity from that and able to get inside other people's heads to see what they are dealing with and see how they got through these certain issues, and and able to kind of come to terms with, you know what, man, everybody's not meant to be a pro. And even though my experience was different from some of the other people that I've interviewed so far, you know, a lot of us were still on the same, we were still kind of in the same boat at the end of the day. Like, yeah, some of us may have reached a little bit higher peak than others from a a level standpoint or opportunity standpoint, but at the end of the day, every person I've interviewed so far, we're all retired. Like we we've hung the cleats up, and that chapter is done. So, you know, I feel like the journey cannot be underestimated. And I think looking at what somebody else is doing and comparing yourself to them only is gonna do bad things for you because you know, we all have our own individual lives, we all have things that that are going to work in our favor and not work in our favor. So, and I'm I'm not gonna keep yeah, but it's a mix, but I I'm incredibly blessed to live the life I do now, and I couldn't imagine any other way. That's

What Could've Helped Me Succeed

SPEAKER_00 24:51

beautiful. So, based on the conversations you've had this season, what are the biggest things that could have put you in a better position to succeed? I think without repeating some of the stuff I've said already, I think one of the biggest things that sticks out besides that is getting into or having to be more flexible earlier in my life outside of sports. I think being put in environments where I had to adapt and had to play different roles, wear different hats, you know, in positions where I was a leader, where I was a follower, you know, where I was a manager, where I was uh a worker bee. I think placing kids in those situations or giving the opportunity to grow their minds in that capacity, I think that is probably one of the biggest things I would recommend. I don't know concrete examples of how to do that, but there are ways. I'm sure if I thought about it a little bit, I could. I'm not gonna bore you guys with my silence and doing all that right now. Another big thing that would have put me in a better position to succeed is learning the value of networking, going to networking events earlier on, getting good at introducing myself to people, having an elevator pitch of who I am, what I want to do with my career in life. That was something I struggle with, and I still struggle with to this day with putting myself out there and getting out of my comfort zone. I'm getting a lot better at it, and I am a lot better at it now because situations or my circumstances have changed, and my desire to have certain things overrides my inability or lack of ability to put myself out there, be uncomfortable, etc. So those are the two biggest things. Um, I would also say it and I I think, well, I was gonna say building confidence, but I think through those two things that I said, uh networking and exposing your exposing young kids to variety of different events to make them develop certain skills to be flexible and add value in different ways. I think those built confidence because I think that carries over to the sports field in that you are confident that you can fit into any position, any place, any team, and you can still find ways to impact. Like you, you, and I think through those experiences, especially with having to wear different hats, allows you to understand what kind of questions to ask and understand leadership structure, understand, you know, what assets the people around you bring to help you just get more of a holistic perspective on you know, the sum of its parts is greater or the the the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. I think that helps you understand that. Yeah. Okay.

What I Needed Most As An Athlete

SPEAKER_00 27:41

Do you did you need more exposure, better guidance, better coaching relationships, better grades, better confidence, or better self-advocacy? All the above. Like we talked about in a previous episode. I believe it was with Trent. Our school did not have a lot of exposure. We didn't have a lot of guidance when it came to recruiting or the things we should well. I'll speak for myself. I would say I didn't have a lot of guidance when it came to my actual coaching staff. My dad did uh bless his heart. My dad did so much uh to help me. And uh, there was even stuff that he didn't really know. Um, because also, like I mentioned before, I didn't have the best relationship with my head coach. So, you know, despite my dad's efforts, there were a couple of coaches, like I've said, that talked to Coach Davis or that that we talked to. They said they liked what they saw. They said they had to talk to my head coach. After that happened, I didn't hear from them again or hardly ever after that. So, you know, that that was I I needed that. I think having that those better relationships mixed with having better grades, I don't think we would be, I think we'd be having a completely different conversation if I would have even started this podcast if those things had worked out. Uh, but like I said before, yeah, better confidence, better self-advocacy. I I didn't I didn't know how to advocate for self. I was very weird socially, I think until about 11th, 12th grade. And even then, my confidence on the field wasn't that high. It was, but just it wasn't where it should be. You know, I I could have been, I think that I was one of those players who, had I been more confident in my ability, my speed, my size, and my impact to the team, I would have carried myself differently. And looking back now, it's almost criminal that I didn't because I know my teammates and my coaches could have used that and could have utilized me in different roles had I shown that that dog, then maybe that would have opened the door for me to, you know, be in more versatile positions, be more flexible to be an impact player on the team. So I needed all of it, but uh the the biggest thing I need was needed was maturity. Uh, you can't replace that. And I've never said this, but I'm actually basically a year behind all of my classmates. Uh, I was actually gonna reclassify in eighth grade, and I was gonna have to be held back a year. I was gonna go to Woodward, it was gonna be a whole thing, but I decided not to because I wanted to stay with my friends, and also I didn't want to get held back, you know, especially back then. Like, you man, you get held back, you better get joned on. And nobody really would have knew because I'd have been at a different school, but I would have been around all new kids. Like, and although it would have likely been better for my athletic success, you know, I mean, that's one of those things you look back and like damned if you do, damned if you don't. You know, I think that the relationships kids have with their friends cannot be understated. Again, that's one of those things. Who knows how that would have turned out? I had another opportunity to transfer to Sandy Creek, which was which is I don't want to say that they were our rivals. Maybe I could say they were. We they were probably our rivals. I don't think we were their rivals, not in football, at least. But that was another one of those things that probably would have been better for my athletic career. But you know, my friends were at the other high school right down the road. Like, what would that have been like? You know, I'm playing against my friends with all these players who I've seen for years, played against all these players I've seen for years, and my my personality did not mesh well with them. They they were the and again, I'm like I was more of the kind of quiet player on the field. I didn't really say much. I just kind of like my play do the talking. They were more of the like, we gonna talk and we gonna, you know, show whatever, which you know, that's that's fine, but it just didn't mesh well with my personality at the time. I played, I went to a spring, some spring practices up there, and uh, you know, I think I don't know what the coaches really saw. Again, this is in eighth grade going into ninth grade, so it was like, yeah, I don't really know, but yeah, that was really it. Where were we at? I don't even know what got me onto that point. I don't even know what got me onto that point because I remember talking about uh reclass, yeah, maturity because I'll I'm a year behind my classmates. Yeah, I mean, again, that's who knows? I think in the long run, maybe looking at it from a long-term perspective instead of the short term, I think that extra year wouldn't really have well, I don't even know. I was gonna say that it would have really kicked in in college. I think that's what it would where it would have made the biggest difference because I would have had an extra year to kind of just get my stuff together and and just and grow and just my brain develop more and have more responsibility and and all that stuff. But instead, I go into college 17, turning 18 the first day I move in. And you know, basically I end up being one of the older guys at when I graduate college, but that's because you know, I I ended up being held back a year anyways by my own, you know, negligence and ignorance and partying and drinking and smoking, all that stuff. So yeah, maturity was one of the bigger things. All right, okay. That was that was pretty deep.

What Was In My Control

SPEAKER_00 32:50

How much of what you lacked was outside of your control, and how much of it was something I you could have taken more ownership of? That's a great question. I think that most of it was something I could have taken taken ownership of. There was a lot of things I could have done, there was a lot of people like there was a lot of people I could have spoken to, there was a lot of skills I could have developed. Excuse me. And whether I knew it, knew what to do or not, I still did not do it. So that's not something outside of my control. The only thing outside of my control was just exposure and exposure specifically from my coach because I went to many different camps. I went to many different camps, many different combines, things like that. Went to several different schools to for spring games, for for camps, uh, for official visits, for unofficial visits. Went to several schools. So I can't control what the coach thinks or what the coach does with me as an athlete, but I can control the things that the coach can see and the things that he can see on paper, the things he can see on film, the things he hears about me, the things he sees in me once he sees me. So, yeah, most of it was something that I could have taken ownership of.

The Lesson I Wish I Knew

SPEAKER_00 34:02

What's something a guest said this season that made me think that made you think, I wish I knew that when I was playing? I would probably just say what Hawk was talking about with speaking to the coaches and how some of the best players on the team were in the coaches' office all the time. That that was really eye-opening for me. And it's it's seems obvious when you say that, but man, I I just I never watched film at all. And the thing is, I was still playing decently, so it just it just kind of makes me think like, man, if you would have just put in a little bit of effort, a little bit of FaceTime with the coach, you know, where where would that have gone? But yeah, just spending time with the coach. That's the that's kind of the main thing. All right, so we're gonna get let's get into some more detail-oriented

Habits That Helped Me

SPEAKER_00 34:50

things. So, what habits did you have as an athlete that helped you? I would say habits that helped me was I was very hardworking in developing physical traits, speed, strength, agility, explosiveness. I was very hardworking and well, I would say it took it took a jump after I graduated high school because I knew I had to get in shape for college. They sent me a workout program and I wanted to, you know, do good on our conditioning test and things like that, which looking back, I don't even remember I was doing a conditioning test when I got there. But anyways, I was hardworking. Honestly, that may have been about it. Well, what were some other habits that I had that helped me? I was willing to I was willing to exhaust myself in order to get better. With and with that being said, things that I that I knew about. Like obviously, we talked about all different kinds of things that could have helped me. The things that I knew, I knew that working hard, I knew that would take me a long way. So I was willing to exhaust myself. And that summer before I left, Jesus Louise, I was in the gym a lot. And I was only I was 17, and that was that was probably some of the hardest work I've put in in my whole life. Uh, I know during COVID there was a stint I was bro, I'm gonna have to pull up pictures one day. I know this is audio only, but I'm gonna have to get on get on video because man, I remember in during COVID, I would go to the gym, the track, and the football field multiple days a week, like all three in the same day. I would leave the house at maybe like eight, and whatever one I started started about nine, and I would finish around one o'clock. I would spend about an hour, hour and a half, whatever math that is. It's about yeah, from nine to one. That's about that's about an hour and a half. Something like that. But uh factoring in driving time too. But yeah, I would do all three. So I was doing that for months and months and months and months at a time, man. It was insane how much work I was putting in. I don't even think I wonder if I have some pictures from that time. I had to look because man, I was probably shredded. And honestly, my body hasn't really changed that much. Uh the way it's looked, I've probably gotten a little bit taller, a little bit thicker because I've gained some weight, but not in a bad way. But yeah, I was willing to do what it took. I was willing to exhaust myself in order to get better than the next person. And obviously, had I known I needed to focus on other things, I like would like to think I would be as meticulous on those things, uh, but I wasn't. So that's it. So

Habits That Hurt Me

SPEAKER_00 37:09

having said that, what habits did you have that hurt you? Yeah, uh, I would say I was I was an addictive, I have an addictive personality. And what I mean by that is once I kinda like something, I stick to it. And I don't really, it's it's very difficult for me to change or stop once I pick up that that specific addiction. And so that hurt me in in several ways. So I picked up smoking at some point during my freshman year of college. I literally just I don't even know. I was about to say a phrase that probably would have got me flagged on Spotify, but I just literally smoked as much as I could. It was it was insane how much I smoked. That addictive habit that definitely hurt. I would say the habit of shying away from conflict or from competition at times, that showed up in a lot of ways. I didn't like tackling in high school, didn't necessarily it was a little bit better in college because I was a little bit stronger. So I think I was a little bit more confident in in tackling stuff like that. But tackling is a also has a lot to do with angles and uh things like that too. But I'll say the biggest one is probably addictive personality, which showed up in college, unfortunately. I wasn't really a big stay up late at night person, I wasn't really a drinker. I guess the habit of not going to see my coaches that maybe that hurt. I'm not really sure. Other than that, I would say another habit that hurt is well, kind of like I said, just not really putting myself out there and trying away from competition. That definitely hurt. This is so

Hard Work vs. Doing Everything Necessary

SPEAKER_00 38:44

next question. Were you as serious as you thought you were? Or did you confuse hard work with doing everything necessary to get what you wanted? That is a great question. I confuse working hard with doing everything necessary. I again, I just thought hard work was doing the physical aspect. I just thought it was lifting the weights, running the sprints, recovering, eating well, sleeping well, stretching, drinking water, or I said drinking well, and that was it. And you just repeat and move on to the next thing. And while that will take you far, that's not everything. Again, relationships, mental, and emotional, it all needs to be aligned. And obviously, when we're talking about sports with this physical sport, such as football, even uh well, I can't really speak for basketball, but especially in a sport like track, also. Well, no, most sports. There's the physical component is going to be one of the first things that comes to most people's minds. However, the higher levels you go, the more talented players are, and there is not as much of a gap in talent. So, in order to separate yourself or gain an edge on your opponents, you have to have your mental, you have to have your your game up, like your the mental, emotional, and the relational. It all has to be it all has to be there. And so when someone says they're hard working, though that's what I'm looking at. I'm not looking at how much you can bench or what your 40 time is. I'm looking at, okay, are you a holistic athlete or are you just single-minded? And that's not a bad thing if you are single-minded, uh, especially for younger players. But I think in order to really say someone's hard working, you have to look at the whole body of work. Like that makes me think of the greats LeBron, Tom Brady, you know, soccer players, Messi, Megan Rapino? Is that is that her name? I don't even know. Uh, baseball, let's just think of somebody. Aaron Judge, Babe Ruth. You know, y'all know what I'm talking about. I think that's when you look at these players are doing everything necessary to be successful. They're not just focusing on the physical because they understand there are limitations when it comes to physical things. For example, Tom Brady was slow as dirt. He couldn't, he wasn't a mobile quarterback like some of these other ones were. But what he was great at is being a leader, having intensity, and being able or knowing what his team needs to do to be the defense in front of them. LeBron's an another thing, except LeBron is a physical, physical specimen. His IQ is off the charts. Uh, because all and another thing, too, with with both of them is they played the game long enough to kind of see pretty much everything coaches could throw at them. And so, yeah, I definitely confuse hard work with doing everything.

What I'd Tell My Younger Self

SPEAKER_00 41:29

That's great. Uh, what would you tell the younger version of yourself about confidence, preparation, and making your mark? What I would tell my younger self is that I would just say just go for it sometimes, man. There, there's no you don't gain anything by trying to be reserved. The best, some of the best moments of your life will probably be when you went all in, not knowing how it was gonna go. Point blank, whether it goes good or bad, going all in and succeeding or failing, it feels much better than not going all in because you pretty much only guarantee one outcome, which is failure. That's really that's the only thing I would tell my younger self is just let go, man. Just let loose, have fun. Like, don't be afraid to fail. Don't be afraid to fail. Just just like you're a great player, you have great instincts, you have great skills, great physical traits. Man, just go out there and just have fun, just try, just try something, you know. Like, just try something, especially in in high school, man. I was uh me and Hawk were the starting corners, and honestly, man, there was nobody that could have taken either of our spots. Like, I could have been out there trying whatever I wanted to, obviously, speaking to my position coach and and make sure it was cool with him, but bro, I could have tried whatever I wanted to, it really wouldn't have mattered um because nobody would have been able to take my spot, and it's not like I sucked, I was just I just was trying different stuff. So that that's that's really all is just just let go, let loose, man. I have a problem with that now, and you know, things have to be in a certain kind of sh state for me to want to pursue or want to kind of start making progress when it's just like no man, things don't have to be perfect for you to to take your shot or to to take a risk, like just do it and then figure it out from there. That's that's really insightful. Okay, so let's move on

What I Miss About Being An Athlete

SPEAKER_00 43:23

here. What do you miss about being an athlete? I I would say I miss uh it's kind of weird, but I had a dream about this the other day. I I just miss you know getting dressed for practice, man. Like I miss coming from school and a long day of school, whether it was a great day or a sorry day, and all that just kind of melts away, man. You put your book bag in your locker and take your shoes off and stuff, grab your jersey, grab your pads, your pants, your mouthpiece, your cleats, gloves, socks, all that, man. And you just you you gear up, and we had to uh walk. Up to our practice field. So we we walk up from Tiger Den up to the practice field and or jog sometimes, depending on if you're running late. Jog up to the practice field, sometimes still putting your clothes on. And uh man, I miss those days. And that hot Georgia sun boy in the summertime and in the spring, man, though those are really the days. I think that's what I miss the most, man. Just being in a locker room, goofing around. And I'm not, I don't want to make it sound weird, like getting dressed is the only thing I miss because I that would be kind of weird. But I miss just the that routine, the rhythm of every day doing the same thing over and over and over again. It's something you can depend on. And I think as as I get older, the more I understand the benefit of that. Like you know what needs to happen and when every day. I think just having that routine makes life a little bit easier. It makes it a little bit more, it makes it, it doesn't make life more stable, but it makes you more stable. It makes your mental it like something that you know your mind can rely on. You know, at four o'clock, four fifteen every day, you need to be up on that practice field, fully dressed, ready to go. Now it's like after you leave sports, it's kind of like other than work, which you know, most of how most of us feel about our jobs, you know, it's just work. Like we go, we leave, and that's it. And we, you know, often dread going back in the next day, but you know, we do it. It's kind of like that, except you love doing it. Like you love practicing, you love being around your teammates, you love that rhythm of getting dressed and and you know, wearing different gloves, wearing different cleats, you know, switching, switching shoulder pads, or not just shoulder pads, switching jerseys with a linemen in your corner and the jerseys freaking draping off of you. You know, stuff like that is what I miss. Just that, just that fun energy and uh goofing around, man, and and cussing, even though it sounds weird, just saying the craziest stuff. I missed that. I missed the camaraderie. I miss like just uh man, I miss that. Wow, that's kind of that's that's pretty that's pretty it's kind of sad when you think about it. But

Memories I Wish I Could Revisit

SPEAKER_00 46:06

what specific memories still make you wish you could go back from one more practice, game, meet, or season? Hmm I would say I would say being on bus rides after games or after track meets, honestly, bus rides to and from track meets were always pretty fun. But on the way back from football games, bruh, that joke used to be the funniest, even if we lost sometimes, man. And see, maybe I'm part of the problem, but and man, we used to be back there joking. Like I'm not I'm not gonna even act like it was it wasn't just me, or it was just me. We used to be back there cutting up sometimes, and obviously the coaches would be max. We lost, but memories like that are what made me wish I could just go back one more time. I remember me and Malcolm. Hopefully, I can get Malcolm on the podcast. It'll probably have to be in this next season coming up. But uh, I remember one summer practice, it was hot as heck outside. We were running sprints, and me and Malcolm kind of got into a little scuffle because he thought we ran a different number, I thought we ran a different number, and you know, we in the middle of the sprint calling each other idiots and or whatever we were saying, and you know, ended up ended up scuffling it up a little bit. But we didn't have to run anymore after that. So I think that was I think that was the coach's way of saying, okay, yeah, these guys are kind of to the limits. Because both of us were pretty, pretty laid back, and for us to kind of start getting into it, it was it was obviously something going on. So I think they realized that. But uh, you know, just stuff like that, man. I miss I miss my being around my guys all the time. And um, and we were all different people back then, too. So I'm not gonna sit here and act like it would be the same if we could do it now, but then it was it was a great thing to be around. And I I mean those are memories I'll have forever. You know, I'll I'll never forget, you know, freestyling on the bus. I remember uh eggs, bacon, cheese, sausage. Doing that. That was uh kind of a stupid thing that we did as kids, but you know, it's kind of funny looking back. I'm just remembering, oh bruh, I don't know how I forgot this, but one of my favorite memories in sports track specifically was going to the New Balance uh national championship, or what is it called? New balance, yeah. New balance national outdoors NBNO or something like that. Uh I went the summer after I graduated high school. Me, Seth Holloway, Trey Johnson, and Kaylin Fillmore. Uh sorry to name drop y'all, but we qualified for the New Balance Nationals, but in the Sprint Medley, which if you don't know is a 100, 100, 200, 400. We qualified because we ran literally the fastest time in the country. We ran the fastest time in the country that season. And it's crazy. We only ran the sprint medley, I think two, maybe three times before that in the whole season. Because back then nowadays, uh, these track meets they'll have all the kind of I don't even know what you'll call them, all the all the extra events you don't usually have. These track meets nowadays, they'll have them, which I don't know what's up with that. Maybe something to do with participation and things like that. Who knows? But, anyways, we only ran the sprint medley two or three times, and you know, it just so happened we were really good at it. And our four by one team should have been really good. They we had a lot of injuries that was neither here nor there. But, anyways, we go to New Balance Nationals. Our coach, uh Coach Strickland, uh rest in peace coach, he took us to North Carolina where it was. I believe we were on a bus, and uh he was stayed in the hotel for one, maybe two days before we left. And um, you know, we stopped at a couple different restaurants, and you know, Coach Strickland, it I just saw a side of him I'd never seen before. You know, he was I saw him talking to so many different people, like this man was just talking to everybody, and that's something I carry with me to this day. You know, I I I believe one thing, I believe that seeing that from him, because me we didn't have the greatest relationship at first, but as I ran track more and got better at track, because he was a he was a head track coach, we start to have a little bit of a different relationship. And he I saw that he wanted to push me more than anything. Like, you know, coaches give you that tough love and stuff. Oh, if I'm not talking to you, I don't really care. I think there's ways to go about that. And I call I think out of all my coaches, Coach did that one of the best, or Coach Strickland did that one of the best ways. I don't know if I said that right. But, anyways, taking us on that trip to North Carolina, that was so much fun uh with with the relay team. And uh, we ended up coming in second. It was a little bit of controversy. Uh, I saw with my own eyes on second leg, I saw Kalen get bumped by the first leg on his outside, which we had been dealing with that multiple times throughout the season, and I'm almost positive it was because teams knew we were about to tear that track up. We was we were tearing that track up all season long, and I think that was the only way that they could really knock us off our pivot. Now, was that part of the opposing team's game plan or was that just accident? Who knows? But if it keeps happening time and time again, it seems like it's less of a coincidence and more of a more of an intentional thing. So, man, those things I missed. Let me let me think of some other things that I missed. I would say after high school, the memories started to I would say in sports, uh, they started to fade just because you know, after my freshman year playing the whole season, I didn't play again until Morehouse, and then I didn't play another season after that. I I ran track. I'll say uh my senior year track season, man, I ain't gonna lie, them grueling workouts, golly, I don't miss it, but I missed that being back in that team environment. And my teammates were were really cool, you know. Love all my track team teammates that year. You know, it didn't turn out like any of us wanted it to, which I've talked about before. But, you know, I think it was fun just knowing we were all going through that together, knowing our sentiments were very similar with the workouts that we were doing and and where that was kind of leading us. Like I said, I I don't know if I would go back, but that was just a great time. You know, I remember though I rem I will remember those days forever. On my deathbed, I'll be telling my wife about how Coach Hill made us freaking run with tires over our heads and in front of our faces, 400 meters. Like it was just ridiculous. So, um, and doing not going what were we doing that one time with the tire? We were doing like bounds, we were doing like 100 meter bounds with the tires. I was like, cheese of weed, this this is and you know, I ended up well anyway. I don't want to get off on tangent, but those those are the memories that make me wish I could kind of go back and just re-experience that one more time. Okay, so what

What I Don't Miss About Sports

SPEAKER_00 52:34

parts of sports were unhealthy for you, even if you didn't recognize it at the time? I would say feeling like my value was tied to performance was unhealthy. And I mean, it because it's kind of true, your value is tied to your performance. Like as a person, it's not, but as an athlete, it is. You're only as valuable as what you produce on the field. And if you're not producing, then you know, chances are you're gonna get you're gonna get taken off, you're gonna get replaced. And so I didn't miss that because, like I said, once again, my senior year track season, things didn't go as planned. I had expectations, high expectations going into the season. Those expectations did not pan out in any way, not even close. And so that made me feel like a complete failure, and it was a terrible way to end my collegiate athletic career, terrible way, because then I'm just thinking about that all the time. All the stuff that I would have done differently as the coach, you know, just I was thinking about a lot, and it was super unhealthy. I think part of what I've talked about before is also diversifying your um portfolio of skills and getting in different environments so you don't have a super high athletic identity. I didn't do that, and that was unhealthy for me to solely be involved in sports and have a personal life. It wasn't good because now when sports is gone, you know, I'm gone, literally, because so much of my identity and my life was tied into that, you know, instead of it being tied into the chess club or the robotics club or debate club or you know, playing other sports or or hopefully not sports. Hopefully you can diversify outside of sports, but having those other things on the side, playing an instrument, um, being in band, you know, I'm trying to think of some more clubs. There are a lot more clubs out there, but doing something outside of sports would have been extremely healthy for me. It would have been so much better for my mental health, emotional health, transitioning out of a full-time sports life, it would have been a lot better for me. Once it was gone though, I didn't necessarily miss, I didn't miss the pressure of having to constantly like stay in shape for something. It does feel good to now pick and choose my goals at will, but it's not like I'm I'm not gonna lose my scholarship because I didn't have a certain output. Like, you know, it's just like okay, well, I either get in shape for my goal or I don't. And and not that it's good to just flake on goals, but it's like you can be a lot more flexible now. It's like, I mean, yeah, you can make a goal, and I mean, yeah, realistically, we should say we should stick to the goals we set for ourselves. But at the end of the day, man, I mean, as long as you're just kind of staying in shape, it's fine, bro. Like, you'll be fine. Like, just because you like for me, I I want to have a fast 40. I want to be able to do this stuff, but guess what, man? If my knee ain't feeling good, I ain't finna go work out. If I got a headache because I haven't eaten all day, I'm not working out. But guess what? If I did that in sports and I had a headache, guess what I was doing? I was working out, sweating my butt off. And I mean, you may sweat the headache out, but you may not, so it's just like you still gotta do that stuff anyway. So I I don't miss that the the grind culture, you know, grind through through these things, and I do think there is benefit in learning how to do that to to push through adversity, but there's a certain line that you kind of should maintain with that. And I'm not gonna say that's the same for everybody, but I think generally speaking, there needs to be some consistency in what we are and and just where we're drawing the line. Okay,

Still Connected To The Athlete I Used To Be

SPEAKER_00 56:13

so do you feel connected to the athlete you used to be? I do. I think or not a lot of the things that I've talked about today and that we've talked about this season, I feel strongly connected to, just not in the athletic realm. Like what the especially stuff with the relationships, mental, emotional side, being a versatile person, I feel connected to because those are things that I utilize in my daily life. Excuse me, those are things I carry with me everywhere I go. And in especially in my kind of my athletics slash exercise pursuits now. Like I still implement some things and you know, I stay in shape in case I ever need to put my cleats on again or put the spikes on. You know, I want to stay in shape to be able to do a little something, like not be the fastest guy on the field, but I still want to be kind of a sh a shell of my former self. And I'm 27, so you know, I've got a couple more years before I really need to hang it up. But, you know, there's just the different things going on my life right now that require my attention and don't allow me to necessarily uh spend the most time working towards, you know, specific, super specific athletic goals. But yeah, I do still feel connected. I love kind of just looking at sports now and being like, oh yeah, you know, this is how I would kind of play it and just remembering back to certain situations I was placed in. So

How I Want To Stay Connected To Sports

SPEAKER_00 57:36

having said all this, how do you want to stay connected to sports? I would say uh how I want to stay connected is through coaching, uh through training, creating content, building communities like this one, staying literally staying connected to sports through conversations like this. I do have a desire to be a strength conditioning coach for high school sports. And if I could go back to my high school, fit kind of high school, and do that, that would be awesome. I'm not stuck on that idea. And I am still a little bit further from that uh becoming a reality. If that's something I still want to do when the time is, when there's an opportune time for me to move into that position, I just think strength conditioning is a super important thing, especially uh for the athletes that I know come out of um my hometown. You know, some of them, I think now there's more gyms and stuff around that you can get kind of sports, sports performance things or you can meet sports performance goals. Uh, but when I was growing up, that wasn't a thing. And a lot of us could have benefited from that, having something local where you know athletes from from you know the whole county can come from and and benefit. And and now it's not just like, well, one school has all the advantage because they have resources to hire a strength-conditioning coach and and go through these structured workouts for during the off-season and preseason and in season to keep them in shape, to keep them fast, to keep them strong, and have that basically a permanent advantage over other teams. Because if other teams aren't doing that and they're not staying strong, they only get strong over the summer, then you're basically just losing all season. Like you're losing strength, you're losing speed, you're you're losing durability all season long. And so I just think that's where I can can give back is through giving what I didn't have and knowing what I know now about how important strength conditioning is, how important a program is to have structured exercises and metrics that kids hit in order to not only see themselves improve and to put a better footprint out there for coaches to recruit them on, but to also improve their experience as teammates to have a better team, to have a faster team, stronger team, better team, more healthy team so that kids can enjoy their years in sport. So it's not marked by injury, so it's not marked by, you know, knowing they have something greater, but not being able to access it. I don't want anybody to ever feel that again. And I think I can

My Kids Playing Sports

SPEAKER_00 1:00:02

help with that. So, how do you feel about your kids playing sports one day? Do you want to place them in something? Can I see how they figure it out? I would love for my kids to play sports. I'm not gonna pressure them into doing it. Well, I may have lied. I do think I'll place them in one sport just to start. But even before then, even before they're old enough to join an actual team, you know, we'll throw throw balls with them, you know, have them hit golf balls, hit tennis balls, serve up the volleyball, throw a baseball, hit a baseball, uh, kick a soccer ball, throw a football, catch a football, shoot the hoop, you know, swim, all that different kind of we'll we'll have them participate in a little bit of everything and and allow them to tell us what they like and what they don't like. Because I mean, truthfully, it doesn't really matter until you get in the ninth grade, or until you get about that that 12, 13, 14 age range with what you need to kind of more seriously focus on. So until that point, I I mean, I'm I'm fine with them just kind of experimenting. Uh, we plan on homeschooling, so we're still figuring that out with how to integrate them into local schools so they can still play and things like that, which is possible because I knew homeschool kids, or I actually coached homeschool kids that still participate in their local high school sports and things like that, or at the very least, a club team. But I don't want to, I don't want to deprive them of playing sports. Sports teaches you a lot, teaches you about teamwork, teaches you about hard work, teaches you about perseverance, teaches you about loss, failure, and success, and how to use those to continue to grow and learn. And uh, and how one success or failure doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the next one, how you have to continually do things and learn things a certain way in order to continue having success and to continue avoiding failure, and also in that success doesn't mean you don't experience failure, and failure doesn't mean you don't experience success. There's oftentimes a little bit of both in either one. So I'm not gonna deprive them of playing sports, but what I won't do is pressure them into doing something they don't want to do. My prayer for my children and for my wife as we're raising them is to raise kids who are able to communicate with us what they do and don't want to do, what they enjoy and do not enjoy doing, what they're passionate about, where they see themselves in the future. And if sports isn't a part of that, that's fine. That is okay. I do not want to live vicariously through my children and raise them up to be the next, you know, next best thing. I don't want that. If they want that, then that's fine. I'll do everything in my power to help them do that. But at the end of the day, as long as they just stay fit, as long as they stay in shape, a healthy mind is a strong mind. If they stay in shape, whether it's through playing sports or not, that's fine with me. Like I what I what I don't want them to do is just regret their decision. Again, my prayer is that they are able to communicate what they need from me, what they want out of life, what they want out of sports, whatever that is. Whatever they want, I want to be able to provide them that opportunity and to be able to talk with them through that process.

Helping My Kids Without Making Sports Their Identity

SPEAKER_00 1:03:11

So if they're super talented, how will you help them without making sports their whole identity? Like I've said before, just diversifying their their portfolio of skills, having them in different clubs, having them in different types of non-sports related teams where they can stretch their academic skills. Robotics Club. I don't even know if I said that earlier, but I thought that was something that was really cool. That I I was actually interested in robotics when I was younger, but just never really pursued it. Just obviously just so focused on football, didn't want to do anything else. But learning how to how to do other things, like even gardening or community service, things like that. And they're gonna be involved in in their church. I know that for sure. So, you know, just different things like that. That'll help them realize that this world is so much bigger than sports. Like people need help out here. There are problems that there are problems that will that they will face that don't necessarily exist now, and there are problems that exist now that will be even worse in the future that their generation will have to come up with solutions for. And so sports isn't everything, it's entertainment at the end of the day. It's a gift to play sports, it's not a requirement. So helping them to understand their place in the world as people and human beings is much more important to me than figuring out where they fit in in the sports world. I I don't I don't care about sports nearly as much as I care about not only their eternal salvation, but their ability to impact the world with their God-given sets of skills and abilities, relationships and opportunities. So,

Final Reflection

SPEAKER_00 1:04:40

in closing, what do you want current and or former athletes to take from your career and your reflection? I'm gonna do my best to sum it up with not rambling or going off on a tangent. What I want athletes to take from my career and my reflection is to go all out for what you want. Have people around you that can help guide you, that can help lead you, that can help show you the way, show you the ropes that can help, that can help you, help get you indoors that you can't open by yourself. Be flexible, be versatile. Place yourself in situations that force you to exercise skills you don't have. Understand what skills you don't have. Make a list. Ask people, hey, what do you think I'm lacking? Your coaches, your friends, your your your parents, your guardians, people around you. Ask them, hey, what do you think I need to work on? What do you think are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? Because guess what? If other people can see it, your opponent can see it too. So a good one at least. So go all out. You know, do your best to do your best. Effort. Effort is something you cannot get back. You can you can you know a play a play may come back, but your effort, if you don't give 100% effort, then that's you're never gonna live that down. You know, if you if you give 100% effort and don't make the play, then you know that's that's one thing. But if you don't give 100% effort, then more likely than not, you won't have the opportunity to make the play in the first place. So that's really the main thing. I I don't want to spend too much time talking about getting physically in shape. I think there's a lot of or not, I think there's a lot of resources out here for kids for for any athlete to to get in shape and to have the physical abilities. But what's gonna separate the next generation of great athletes is their mental and their relationships. Can you withstand the pressure of the season? Can you understand on an intimate level where you fit in, why, how our scheme will help us defeat our opponent, and what are some things our opponent is going to do to counter that. If you can understand all that and you have relationships with your coaches and your teammates, you're gonna be golden. Because even if you're not the most physically imposing, if you know where to be and when to be there, it it doesn't really necessarily matter how physically gifted you are because positioning is going to matter a little bit more than how fast you can get there, if that makes sense. Well, Jalen, thank you for coming. Uh before we leave the locker room, make sure you're subscribed and locked in for the next episode. If this conversation gave you something to think about, comment your thoughts and share it with another athlete. And remember, the game changed, but your story's still being written. Take care and God bless.