Im on The MFn Tea App

Somebody at work tells me I’m on the “Tea app” and suddenly I’m staring straight at the weirdest part of modern dating: people feel bold enough to judge you from the shadows, repeat rumors like facts, and call it “protecting” someone. I’m not here for that. I’m here to talk about what gossip does to real people, why pillow talk is a loyalty problem, and why a half-story can’t explain a whole relationship. 

Then we get into the stuff that actually builds a healthy relationship: showing up, being consistent, and acting like a team. I talk about why being a present father is a responsibility, not baggage, and why it’s wild that some folks treat kids like a red flag while ignoring bigger issues like dishonesty and selfish behavior. If you’ve ever been judged for having a past, a family, or standards, you’ll feel this one. 

I also lay out my sundae theory of love: the foundation is how much we truly support each other, the toppings are reliability and shared effort, and sex is the cherry. Intimacy matters, but it can’t carry what trust, goals, and respect refuse to hold. We close with hard lessons about trust, ambition, and protecting your peace at home, plus why chasing random hookups stops making sense when you want real growth. 

Subscribe to For Steppers Only, share this with somebody who’s tired of rumor culture, and leave a review telling me: what’s the biggest “red flag” people throw around that you think is completely backwards?

Transcript

The T App Rumor Hits Work

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey welcome to foam steppers only Man we had to change up the beat a little bit Because I got some shit to get off my chest Hey this shit wild Hey but welcome to episode Man I want a T app The T app The motherfucking T app So I was at work the other night one my one of my close partners She tell me hey hey hey hey hey Jax let me holler at you for a second I said what's up You know you on the motherfucking T app I said I said D trapehold and put me on the T app I said wow because I mean like we hear a lot of speculation speculations red flags green flags whatever the fuck y'all want to call them I don't know the difference between a red flag and a green flag I know it's stopping to go I know what the fuck that means but y'all be throwing red flags on the wrong shit but she gonna tell me well they really ain't say nothing bad then they ain't even got you in your street clothes they got you in your uniform and they talking about some oh he too short to have an ego that big oh he cocky as fuck okay let's let's go ahead and get this shit straight I tell folks all the time that yes I might be short I might be yea tall to the end you know what I'm saying but that doesn't depict my personality so why the fuck should I walk around like I'm small I'm feeble I'm fragile that ain't that ain't in me that will never be in me to be small because I mean I was always taught to pop my shit regardless of who's in the room so it's like why should I walk around like hey how we all how's everything going I am not that individual nowhere shape form or fashion because if I fought which I fought which if I don't I don't I just don't give a fuck I mean that's just it just how it is and then this Tia it's real crazy how motherfuckers can throw shit out though so they can be hid behind a veil of false illusions because the other party won't be able to see it but it was all fine and dandy until we got eyes it's like oh y'all niggas been gossiping and men gossip anyway let me tell you one thing for certain two things for sure number one rule hey we stick to the code right here this is the number one code we don't pillow talk a lot of y'all niggas out there be goddamn pillow talking on the cold side of the pillow and just to get a piece of the wet spot which a lot of times y'all can't even fucking achieve just to throw another man under the bus.

The Code Against Pillow Talk

SPEAKER_00 3:09

I mean well how the fuck does that make you look as a man or manly figure to pillow talk or tell this tell that blah blah blah blah blah blah number two if you weren't present during the exercise during the the the the time of comfort the the time of need during all this thing and first this thing and the third why the fuck are you goddamn commenting when you don't even know the whole story because people are only going to tell you the side of the story that they want you to know but anyway so one of my partners told I told one of my partners they tell my son hey hey Jay I said what nigga don't you go out there goddamn cracking jokes because you know you're gonna hurt some folks' feelings what the fuck make you think little old me gonna hurt anybody's feelings because I mean shit we all know every puss ain't the same some of them dry some of them echo if y'all don't know what the fuck I mean when I say the pussy echo is it means like man you done had too many niggas up in that motherfucker to where um you jump up in that motherfucker you sliding in and out that motherfucker open up that motherfucker feel like a gaping hole that motherfucker feel like it ain't got no edges no walls no this no that man they feel like you can goddamn walk a mile that way and a mile mile that way and never never still touch an edge but hey you want to comment on certain shit because I mean I just don't get why people only tell the bad shit because the only thing you're gonna do is oh shawty you wouldn't have fucked with him that long if everything he did was bad oh you wouldn't have been got comfortable or tried to find a replacement that looks like him if everything was that bad because I mean we I ain't gonna lie I got a couple of exes a couple of exes when I look at they new mr mister man that nigga look like me what if you couldn't stand me so motherfucking much why the fuck did you go find a mr mister that looked like me I was just wondering because I mean it it it has it it baffles me it it catches me a shocking awe because I mean because I'm sorry I'm gonna tell you like this somebody asked me um hey Jack da da da da da you ever dated a white woman yes I have you ever dated a Hispanic woman yes I have you ever dated a Cuban yes I have and never will go there again that bitch lied all the fucking time um but I mean shit they talking about something like I mean they see my younger sons and they be like oh oh he look mixed yes he is mixed oh you one of them one of what because I I'm I'm sorry a lot of times if you don't know me have never met me in real life I show expression with my face or I might not even say shit at all to let you know that I don't fuck with you so whatever whatever so it's like I get I get stigmatized by my kids not not to the fact that I I'm a good dad a very damn good dad that I post my kids I share time with my kids but I get I get scrutinized by the fact that I have kids now what kind of bullshit is that explain that to me females explain because I have a sense of responsibility to make sure I am present in my child's life because my father wasn't present and I know how the fuck it felt for my father not to be there.

Being A Dad Is Not A Red Flag

SPEAKER_00 6:43

I know how the fuck it felt but hey do I fuck with my father fuck no do I fuck with my kids fuck yes my do my kids know their grandfather fuck no because if you couldn't be present in your son's life I'd be damned if you break my kids' hearts you get what I'm saying but anyway so y'all y'all decide that having kids is a red flag okay retardedness is a red flag and we still fuck with you retarded as females sometimes even though we're like shh man she says she ain't mean to but we still give you the benefit of the doubt but y'all say then we gonna we're gonna get on another subject oh say okay let's go back to this retarded asshole I I was dealing with this retarded motherfucker then I started realize like after everything was said and done I realized how many damn throats she done got how many niggas done been in her throat oh my god I didn't know this bitch was a goddamn like a a gobbler I mean I didn't know this motherfucker goddamn got her face painted on a regular I didn't know that you goddamn went to the soul circus and really caught souls on the face I just didn't know this and then you want to paint me out to be the bad guy I don't get this I don't get it you want to lie and tell folks I done pushed you down the stairs bitch no tell the truth I kicked your ass out at 3 a.m because I that's the one thing about me don't don't don't play don't play with me because I won't play with you at all but anyway we we gonna get off my bullshit but then we got so many men out here that play to both sides I mean one thing for certain two things for sure I never lie on my

Stop Lying About Intimacy

SPEAKER_00 8:36

dick. Well we got a lot of males and females out here that will lie on their genitalia and I don't get it because it's like what the fuck do you gain on saying oh I fucked her he fucked him oh his dick small his her pussy dry da da da go first of all silence speaks volumes a lot more than words because someone say oh I thought you man I don't fuck with her no more oh why man shit I just don't fuck with her no more that a that that that leaves the the option to curiosity because if you didn't say anything bad because I I tell people all the time I wish that person the best of luck or I will say man shit man I hope that bitch cost I can't that bitch cut the catch the bubonic plate I almost couldn't get that shit out it's like I bit man I hope that bitch goddamn get water pulled on her because the bitch a witch um it's like why what's the point of talking when there's no reason to talk because regardless of the good times or bad times nobody's going a lot of people won't tell you oh shit she did a magical thing for me well shit why'd you pick this person over this person because a lot of people don't realize um like people ask me all the time oh what made you marry her I said shit at the time shit she was doing things that other motherfuckers didn't help me do like the motherfuckers was more interested in me in helping me build or me becoming a safe place for my kids because she knew how much my kids meant to me or how much I wanted to be a father for my kids to be there and I had I'd be there for them constantly and that and so for somebody to support a dream and an ambition that big or a goal that big puts you on a pedestal above all most others not how good you can suck a dick not good how how good you throw that motherfucker back and how good it looks and the recoil and that motherfucker just keep throwing back at you how many times y'all go in

The Sundae Model For Love

SPEAKER_00 10:46

a day. It's na like I tell people all the time this shit built like a Sunday you're gonna have the ice cream you're gonna have the sprinkles but you're gonna have the cherry on top the way I break down a relationship is the foundation is how much you fuck with that person, how much that person fucked with you. Then you get to the scoops of the ice cream like the bananas and shit the add-ons like oh has that motherfucker ever had your back has that motherfucker been there when you needed him but more than anybody else can you depend on this person can you laugh and joke with this person will this person goddamn throw some bullshit up in your face when certain things go by does the person go off of your flaws like they do they leech off your flaws because it's like oh nigga you da da da man who the fuck wants to hear that constantly I don't so you can shut the fuck up talking to me because I will tell you shut the fuck up talking to me because whatever you're saying is irrelevant um so back to the back back to the nature of the hand so when you got start getting that that's the ice cream that's the toppings and shit now once you get to the cherry the cherry is the sex because the cherry is at the very pinnacle but it's the smallest key yes it's above everything because you have to have me satisfied you have to have me intrigued you have to have me wanting yes but it's the smallest part of it because why the fuck should I put the sex over everything else because if you don't have everything else if you don't have a good foundation and that that shit ain't gonna work that shit ain't gonna add up that shit ain't gonna do this out of the third because I mean like as a man I mean we look at certain things we look into certain aspects I've been with motherfuckers that have can cannot cook a lick but guess what they try even with the smallest things like hamburger helper then they start trying to level up with each thing they might know how to do certain things but they gonna try to make it better so certain things can work out or I I put in a retrospect motherfucker might not like vacuuming but they don't mind washing clothes. Hey

Partnership Means Sharing The Load

SPEAKER_00 12:59

to take some of the pressure off of you man I take some of these chores off your hands because I know you don't like them hey I don't like doing laundry I don't like you know the whole aspect of you know folding clothes and all that bullshit but you take that off my hand it's a pro quid pro quo that means like you do this for me I do that for you it's a it's a it's a team it's a partnership that's what the fuck it's really about if we just fucking shh we just fucking but I mean I've like at this big age of shit I just had a birthday y'all just turned 39 um but it is the age of 39 sex is the bottom tier it's honestly like fucking with mad random bitches fucking with like just fucking the fuck that's pointless that's absolutely fucking pointless and it mind boggles me how many men be out here at my age and older and it's like I gotta hit Sean I gotta hit Sean I got it bullshit I gotta get like bro what's the point of you what are you gaining from that honestly what are you gaining from just fucking this motherfucker just to get a wet dick for 15 minutes 30 minutes an hour I mean shit if you got them feeling frisky you get on that hen and you get that honey pack and you get that Viagra all in your system all at once or you pop a perk shit you get that perky dick and you just go for hours and hours and hours but it's mentally draining it's socially draining because you're trying to keep up with this motherfucker this motherfucker this motherfucker and what she likes versus what

Random Sex Gets Old Fast

SPEAKER_00 14:37

she likes. Oh I gotta make time for her I gotta make time for her it gets draining to the point where like I tell people all the time I sit back and I chill if I have somebody to talk to I have somebody to talk to if I'm involved with somebody I'm involved with somebody if I'm don't I don't because guess what my biggest supporters are my kids because my kids look up to me and they suddenly like hey daddy thank you for doing so much that you do to hear somebody appreciate you in everything that you do not just trying to start an argument every two days one day that shit gets toxic that shit gets aggravating because like I tell people all the time man nobody wants a toxic motherfucker involved in their life nobody wants a bum. Nobody wants a band no man wants a fan oh I know y'all don't understand those terms a band is a bitch ass nigga or a fuck ass nigga or a bum ass nigga or some shit like that nobody wants a Mic MacScaliwack. You know what I'm saying? No bottom feeding leech ass motherfucker a motherfucker that just won't go out there and get their own no motherfucker that doesn't have dreams and ambitions that a motherfucker that don't have goals and it's like what are you here for? Are you just a mouthbreeder? Because you have no drive no no you're not putting one foot in front of front of the other to where you're trying to make yourself better to where you're not chasing a goal to where you don't see that that finish line coming like okay I did this race what's next okay I did this race what's next because I mean I like I had somebody tell me the other day that that's a big supporter of what I do that I need to go back into my gun shit and I need to start pushing my privatized security and I didn't listen next thing I know somebody asked me to work a gig and now I'm trying to get the ball rolling on that because I know once I start they're gonna keep coming they're gonna keep hiring they're gonna keep me there for gigs they're gonna keep me there for shows they're gonna keep me here they're gonna keep me there because I have my LLC I have everything in place I have my DUNs I have my I have everything in place and the training background and the background to do so um because a lot of people don't have those goals and ambitions don't have things that make them happy don't have things that intrigue them don't have things that pushes the pushes them to become better they don't have those drives and expectations out of life because they don't they don't have the good support system behind them because a lot of people fail to realize having that partner is the person that's gonna push you when you don't want to push yourself when you don't want to try to achieve certain things so I mean what's the point I'm just trying to figure this shit out and I'm trying to figure out who the fuck put me on this motherfucking T app because I mean shit quit hiding behind smoking mirrors shoot shoot me a message I'm trying to figure this out how many y'all motherfuckers out there on the T app I'm just trying to figure that out because in my mind where we at nowadays because we gotta achieve these dreams we gotta achieve these ambitions we try gotta achieve these goals and you gotta make sure you got somebody there that's just not there for the benefit they there for the long haul because everybody ain't meant for the long haul some people are seasonal some people are biweekly some people are just goddamn a twinkle in your eye once it's there it disappears and and that's where a lot of people fail to realize where we at in socialist um society because a lot of people don't understand well you know what fuck that they understand they just don't give a fuck and they just selfish and it's like where are we at?

Goals Ambition And The Long Haul

SPEAKER_00 18:46

Why why are we doing this why are we so selfish why are we so self-centered about self instead of you know pushing to make each other better because I mean I understand everybody's not for meant for everybody but where are we at? Where are we going? What are you here for you here to got on are you just here to get dick down just for a little bit or you here for just dick appointments let it be known because guess what if you just here for a dick appointment shit I'm pretty sure another nigga give you that dick appointment because that's not what I'm looking for. And so many people fail to realize that they think man all men insane they just want to fucking lay upon you nah bitch it's the ones you looking for and same thing for a nigga you keep goddamn going trying to stick your dick into everything that's how you gonna come out burning god thank thank you god that I have made it 39 fucking years in my life and never been fucking burnt because I know a lot of niggas didn't make it that far um because I mean shit a lot of motherfuckers didn't make it because you got some grimy ass people out here I'll tell y'all a little situation that shit I laughed at when I found out about um back when I was younger I you know me and my palm boys got them hanging around and we all got to talk you know we sitting around around the goddamn campfire or we sitting around the goddamn you know the grill and shit you know eating and drinking laughing joking whatever whatever and my and one of my partner's cousins comes up and he's telling us about a scenario about what happened to him he telling my something yeah man I thought this dude was my

Betrayal Stories And Trust Lessons

SPEAKER_00 20:30

homeboy shit goddamn we went out drinking me my old lady him blah blah I got too fucked up so he drove me back to my house bro tell me why this nigga ended up smashing my old lady bro I said what you mean he smashed bro he smashed her in our bed while I was fucked up drunk bro I'm talking about I was stretched out in the goddamn living room bro woke up with a hangover and I'm talking about woke up she butt boot ass naked this nigga ain't nowhere to be found I said god damn I said bro how long you knew this dude bro shit only knew him about two three weeks there you go that's a violation already off top that's a violation off top if you if you can't if you just met this motherfucker why you bringing them to your house why you bringing them somewhere sacred why you bringing them all on this thing and into your area and into your element that you're comfortable in because I'm sorry like I tell people all the time your home is your peace your home is your kingdom so why the fuck am I bringing miscellaneous niggas around my kingdom that I just met and then we trying to figure out why the fuck I'm fucking with you and then you do some shady ass shit then I know I can't trust you then it's it's like what the fuck I mean you gotta understand what was it uh what was it uh lady sir and Sir Arthur, uh King Arthur and Sir Lancelot fell out about Gwenevieve. I mean, Gwena Sir Lancelot started fucking Gwenevive. King Arthur ain't like it. Had him banished. So I mean, shit, you gotta understand. Females have toppled fucking empires just based off of that motherfucking box. So what makes you think she won't break up a friendship? That motherfucker might be trying to give get back. And a lot of people don't understand that because people are just so self-centered and self-focused that they don't see certain things that have been displayed in them and portrayed in them, and they just blind to the aspect. They just ain't oh she'll never do that. She loved, she said she loved me. Damn dummy. Oh, hey, can't lie. I've been that motherfucking fool. Because I remember shit. I was supposed to go over this girl's house. I've been talking to. Whoop the whoop whoop the whoop. She told me come over after the club. I was like, shit, I was pulling up, goddamn drunk. So I kept calling the phone. I had called the phone, kind of phone like three, four, five times. I pull up to a house. There's a motherfucking car in the driveway. At 3 a.m. Y'all know it happens at 3 a.m. Ain't nothing open belief. But thank y'all for listening to me at Fo Steppers Only.

Final Thoughts And Goodbye

SPEAKER_00 23:27

We out. Peace.