Sex, Toys, and Honesty

Sex gets loud online, but the real problems usually happen in quiet moments: insecurity, boring routines, and zero communication. We open up with a blunt debate about sex toys in relationships and why treating a vibrator like “the enemy” is really about confidence. From long distance relationships to everyday couples, we talk about how curiosity and honesty can keep intimacy alive without turning the bedroom into a competition.

We also get practical about better sex through better connection. That means prioritizing your partner’s pleasure, dropping the ego, and actually talking about what you both like. We touch on consent, boundaries, and why “switching it up” doesn’t need to be extreme to work. Sometimes the biggest upgrade is simply paying attention, being present, and making your partner feel safe enough to ask for what they want.

Then we shift into sexual health and performance anxiety, including a real warning about misusing erectile dysfunction meds like Viagra and Cialis. If you’re leaning on quick fixes, it might be time to look at stress, sleep, cardio, hormones, or a doctor visit. We wrap with dating boundaries too: why paying for attention is a bad deal, how to spot situations that feel off, and why sex is the cherry on top, not the whole meal. If you laughed, learned, or felt called out, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review. What part hit home for you most?

Transcript

Cold Open And Welcome

SPEAKER_01 0:46

I know y'all weren't expecting to hear me, dreams and nightmares, when this motherfuckin' episode was started. But I had to make sure y'all know I wasn't even got done with the plug. Because I mean shit, I lacked up a little bit. I ain't even gonna hold it. But welcome to Four Steppers Only. I'm that little nigga. That turbine nigga. That short nigga. Yeah. The host with the least. The shortest host. But I want to talk to y'all about. I did a poll on my Instagram, four steppers only. Um, where I'm a lot, and people tell me all the time that I post them on serunchy as shit, and they see it, they laugh at it, and they be thinking that they want to share it, but they be scared to. I I just don't give a fuck sometime because I mean shit. People already know how reckless my mouth is sometimes. Um when it comes to certain things. Um, but don't don't get it twisted, don't get it disre misunderstood. Um we respect people. We respect people when respect is given. I mean, because respect is a two-way street. So I'm I'm gonna get get back to my stuff to this

Toys And Insecurity In Relationships

SPEAKER_01 1:59

story today. We're gonna jump straight in it. Fuck the bullshit. Um so me and my cousin were talking, and he was telling me about him and his wife's situation. My cousin's older than me, and his ideas are totally different from mine. Um, and sometimes we meet up at a certain tangent, but then we we we have two view different viewpoints on something, and we were talking about toys. Um, and he was saying, oh shit, when we and my wife, when me and my wife started dating, I made her get rid of all her toys.

SPEAKER_00 2:39

I said, bro, why? He told me some shit. If she got me and she got the real thing, why the fuck she gotta hell that? Because oh shit, I ain't finna got down get in the get in the bed, go to sleep, lay down, and all th I hear is z.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

I'm like, bruh, please, are you serious? You're not competing with it. Shit, if anything, tell that motherfucker to join in. Shit, tell that motherfucker to use it while you're doing the the X, Y, and Z. Um, because my views are different. I had an ex. This is when I was stationed over in Japan. Um, and you know, I knew I was gonna be gone for a while. So shit. When we would talk, shit, and we would text, I was like, shit, I ordered you something. Man, I was ordering this motherfucker sex toys while I was over there, so she wouldn't get bored or she wouldn't digress and go find other things out there in the world, or you know, go go find other sexual partners. I mean, that doesn't stop somebody from doing that, but then you know, that's like a distraction. And I mean, like, she would send me the shit back, like she was sending me videos and shit back, like, oh boy nigga, I can't wait to get back home. You know what I'm saying? Because in my mind, it's like shit, boy, boy, I see that thing over there. It would it would distract me from the otherworldly experiences that are out there, um, because she's keeping me entertained. Um, but like I was telling somebody shit, they were telling me off some Jack, you don't I ain't never done it. Can't say I won't, but I've never done it. I just I'm scared to pull out and I see a piece of corn on the tip of my shit. I'm just saying.

Curiosity And Keeping Sex Fresh

SPEAKER_01 4:22

Um, but I've been seeing females going crazy about these goddamn butt plugs, and I'm just like, shit. I wonder if they because I mean shit, it piques your curiosity. Because I told somebody, I said, shit, why don't we try certain um sensory deprivation? They said, What the fuck is that? It's when you take away somebody's senses, uh, certain senses, and like your eyesight, your hearing, um, the way you can touch and feel certain things. Because what happens is it's the same thing with a blind individual, it enhances the touch and sensation of other things. Because people get this idea that, oh, if I'm with this person so long, um, shit gonna get boring. And it will, because nobody wants to watch the same show over and over again. Same way with y'all men. Nobody wants to see the same porn star every fucking time. We want to say, Oh, damn, she got some big tits. Oh, damn, she got a big ass. I mean, you're going you're going to want to a variety, that's why we go to buffets. Um, but in my mind, it's like why why try to why do the same shit? Because I was talking to somebody. Um, I was hit, I was listening to somebody, and they were saying shit. I was with this person for 13 years, and sex was just normal. Why? That shit boring as fuck. 13 years, motherfucking y'all ain't switch up, y'all just doing the missionary, y'all just dripping sweat and just looking at the staring celling fan thing about the grocery list. Nah, motherfucker, I want to be goddamn be having that cylind going like this, and you sitting up there looking at the motherfucker, can't catch a breath. This motherfucker's in full retard mode, and I just want to be up there like this.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

God damn, girl, what what the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 6:07

I want to wake up in a puddle, you know what I'm saying? I don't I want to be like goddamn the old commercial, splish splash. I was taking a bath. You get what I'm saying? I mean, because I told somebody before, uh, if it don't make a mess, I don't want it. I'm just I'm just gonna be blankly honest with you because it's like, why the fuck am I here just to catch a nut? Ma'am, let me tell you something. Hey man, just listen to me right quick, and ladies, y'all digress right quick, guys.

Pleasure First And Less Ego

SPEAKER_01 6:34

Stop worrying about y'all's motherfucking sales when it comes to a motherfucking nut. You hear me? Stop worrying about your motherfucking sales, it shall come. That female is going to feel shitty as fuck if you don't come. You get what I'm saying? But if you worry about her orgasm, she will keep coming back as long as you make her get get it. You hear what I'm saying? As long as you make her come, the more she will come back for you. Y'all get it? It's like goddamn uh Tom Hanks in the field of dreams. You build it, they will come. If you fuck it and you focused on that, she will come back. So why sit there and just be selfish as fucking worry about yourselves when it comes to these certain situations? Because nobody wants to be selfish as fuck in the bedroom. That's like, bro, if you know she got toys, she knows she got a robe, she knows you got this, she got that toy, bro. Tell her, hey baby, reach in that top drawer, get that motherfucker out. Surprise her with a new toy, bro. Be adventurous, don't be no goddamn L12 ass motherfucker, no lame ass motherfucker sitting up there trying to say, Oh, well, I don't want her to get you know like that better than me. Man, fuck that. She will still like you because I'm gonna go ahead and be bluntly honest. I'm sorry to tell you this, but not always do they think about us when we penetrating, they might be thinking about that ex-motherfucker they used to fuck with with the goddamn six foot fucking dick. Motherfucker used to goddamn hit her like a rotor. I'm just gonna be honest with you. Um, and you gotta, I mean, you gotta sit there and make it worth their while. So, I mean, mean I'm gonna I'm gonna go ahead and tell y'all a funny experience.

Erection Pills And Real Risks

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Now, don't judge me on this one because uh because y'all know I'm I'm I'm retarded a little bit. I ain't even gonna lie to you. I'm a little bit slow. So um one day, shit, I got these little, you know, somebody was telling me about the try these got doing, you know, these little pigs. I'm thinking, shit, this shit gonna work like goddamn um a Tylenol and excederine and some shit like that. So my little dirt-to-dirt ass then went to the bathroom, took a shower, took the no, I I took the pill, took a shower, brushed my teeth. You know, I'm gonna get put putting my smell good on, trying to feel all goddamn, you know, be all magnificent when I walk back in that motherfucker. Bro, tell me why this motherfucker was asleep. I'm trying to wake the motherfucker up, the motherfucker asleep. I don't know what the fuck to do. I'm sitting here looking like goddamn dirt, got like Captain of Motherfucking America, like I'm about to blast the fuck off. Over here looking like Superman. Well, I'm about to tear some shit up and can't tear a motherfucking thing up but my goddamn pillow because this motherfucker knocked out drooling because we had been drinking before it. What the fuck? What the fuck am I supposed to do with this now? And I'm thinking in my head, boy, I'm finna be these, I'm gonna be these motherfuckers on the warning label. I'm finna be that motherfucker that goddamn been up there, goddamn standing tall for the four hours and and and and about to pick and about to cry and panic. I said, I don't want to be that motherfucker going to the hospital, having to get blood extracted from my shit. Um, but speaking of that, do y'all know how they goddamn make an erection go down? They have to take you in and draw out the blood flow, like the blood out of the penis, so it can go back and down soft. I just want to let y'all know that before y'all keep taking these goddamn Viagra and Cialis. And also, let me tell you, there's a reverse effect. If you if you can't get up that motherfucker and stay up, shit, bro. You might need to go talk to a doctor because you might need to go, you know, take some testosterone or some shit. Because if you keep using them motherfucking pills, I just want to let y'all know this. If y'all keep using them motherfucking pills more than you're more than you have to, you gonna fuck around and be stuck with a limp noodle for the rest of your life. Your shit ain't gonna look like the oodles and oodles before you put it in the water. You get what I'm saying? Your shit gonna be looking like this. You get what I'm saying? That motherfucker gonna be womp womp. I'm just saying, I'm just trying to help y'all out.

Expectations Versus Reality In Bed

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Um, and females, I'm gonna go ahead and tell y'all like this. Stop hyping your shit up, and it ain't what it ain't. Because don't nobody wanna be in there, and you just in there shrugging shoulders, no back movement, no ass movement, no, no, no clapping, no wetness. That motherfucker spitting out like the Sahara Desert. That just bitch just dry. Don't nobody want to be there. Or your goddamn hole has an echo. I'm just I'm just gonna let you know that. Um, because I ain't gonna hold you. I remember one time. Oh my god. Let me tell you something. Anybody knows this, knows a thing for a fact. Everybody's shoe size don't fit the same shoe. Okay. I'm just gonna let you know that. Everybody's shoe size don't fit the same shoe. Um, one of my exes, I used to date a strip. She had 38 piercings. Yeah, she had 38 piercings. She had three tongue rings. Boy. Shit was magical. Um, but that's the first person that made me laugh during during sex when I was fucked up. I was like blackout drunk. Um, she told me uh come in my face and make my face pregnant. Bro, I I bust out laughing and stopped. I said, can that really happen? Can't can you can't can you get pregnant in the face? But and and next thing you know, that shit done threw off the whole vibe. My my my dumb ass was sitting there drunk as fuck and took the shit literal. Um, another instance. Um, like you gotta make shit interesting. I had an ex. That motherfucker was in a whole sling, like she had just had foot surgery and all. I'm talking about she in a cast, motherfucker had to be elevated. Shh, the motherfucker got horn and shit. Hold that motherfucker up. Don't let that motherfucker hit the floor because she had screws and and and bolts and everything in her fucking foot. Just don't let that motherfucker fall. I mean, shit. Boy, my 20s with some hoe activities. I tell y'all that some motherfucking hoe activities. I'm glad I'm refrained now because let me tell you something. Back then, it was a different world that we lived in and a different environment. Um oh lord, I'm over here reminiscing. But anyway, but what you gotta realize is you gotta make shit interesting. Stop doing the boring shit, man. Go watch you some porn, go go goddamn Google you some shit, go take your goddamn drive over to say uh drive over to um Starship, go on Adam and Eve, go somewhere, get you some toys, enjoy life. I mean, shit, don't go overboard, don't get that damn sex machine and get and only thing you hear is like you drilling goddamn wood over there. I mean, shit, make shit interesting because I'm gonna go ahead and tell you if a motherfucker, I see that shit in a motherfucking room, I'm gonna I'm gonna go ahead and feel intimidated. I'm gonna have to go in that motherfucker and stretch or do something. I'm gonna have to go take a trip to the one of them A-rab gas stations, get me one of them tiger tiger pills or something, some jinxing. Ah, hard soul job maker dick hot all like long. I'm gonna have to go get me some of that shit that they would that that May Ling was over there talking about because uh this ain't that and that ain't this. Cause I'm trying to goddamn, I'm trying to goddamn stand up to the quota and shit. Right now, shit. Um I met my adversary, and I don't think I can meet the quota, but shit, we gonna try. I ain't gonna give up. Shit, uh shit. I'm talking about something being that bitch like I the tiger. Shit, goddamn, you ready to give up? Yeah, hell no. Shit, I'm ready for goddamn round three, four, five. Shit. I got I got I got I got I gotta beat the machine. I'm over here like John Henry trying to beat the steam engine. I know y'all over there goddamn dying laughing. My bad, y'all. I be going on a bullshit tangent sometime. I be on my bullshit. I ain't gonna lie to you. And no, this is not liquor, this is just juice. I'm not drinking today. Um, I got shit to do later on. Um, but it's just don't be discouraged about what you're gonna getting yourself

Overpromising And Traveling For Hookups

SPEAKER_01 15:07

in. And number two, don't hike your shit up if you ain't if you ain't up to paw. Don't be talking about some girl shit. I'm gonna knock your I'ma knock your insides. Girl, I'm gonna stretch you the fuck out. And don't do it. Well, you will be in the group chat tomorrow. I'm just gonna let you know. I'm just going to let you know. Um, because don't just hey, just let hey, if a motherfucker talking shit, let them talk shit. Let them let them let them dig that hole. Because I ain't even gonna hold you. I remember one time this girl was out there talking about cash shit. Oh, you can't handle this, you can't do that, you can't do this. Okay. It wasn't it. It wasn't it. It was depress it was disappointing. Um it was disappointing because uh the motherfucker, it was disappointing. I ain't even gonna hold you. Motherfucker didn't know what she was doing, she was throwing her back back. That shit hurt. Asked me to change position. Man, I wanted some. I told her I had to go change my cousin's goddamn four-wheeler tie. And I didn't want to be there no more. I was waiting for somebody to send up a smoke signal so I could goddamn escape. Um and that it was just too much for the situation because the way she hyped it up made me sit there like man, I know I ain't goddamn drive all this way for this bullshit. And I wanna I wanna know something. What's the furthest you done drive drove to get some? I just wanna know. Because I know shit, I know some motherfuckers done took goddamn flights and journeys just to get their first little piece. I mean shit. Not to saying that's wrong. Just I wanna I wanna know, I wanna take a poll. Hey, leave me some comments. Tell me some shit. I wanna know how far you have driven to get you some tail or a piece of ass. I just wanna know. Have you even gone somewhere with your bonnet on just try to get you something? I'm just saying. You pulled, have you ever pulled up? Have you ever pulled up somewhere with a pink bonnet on and been like just fuck it, shit? I'm here to hear. I mean, sometimes shit, you just show up to show up. Because I mean, sometimes you just gotta go for the way you are, because if you wait too long, that motherfucker is gonna be asleep. Because I mean, I used to be that ignorant motherfucker and tell them folks, I mean, drunk as a drunk as a skunk. Man, you want some dick or what? You gonna come get me? Because I can't drive. I mean, I done pulled up to some folks' house. I am not condoning drinking and driving. I'm gonna go ahead and let me put this out there. Another disclaimer. I am not condoning drinking and driving. I got all the way to old girl's house and tell me why. Shit. I texted her before I got there and passed out in the driver's seat. She had to come outside and find me. Um sleep in the car. I'm sorry, I'm distracted, y'all. Just a little bit. My kids are leaving to go wherever. I don't know where the hell they're going. Yes, I'm a single dad. Oh, y'all going to the movies? All right. Have fun. Be careful. Love y'all. Um, sorry about that, y'all.

Love Your People And Watch Your Health

SPEAKER_01 18:39

Sometimes you gotta let people know you love them when you love them. Because tomorrow's never promised to nobody. Um, but you you you fear you try to figure out the situation that you're in. Because sometimes, um, to be honest, tomorrow's not promising nobody. So you gotta, I'm tomorrow, so you gotta perform like you ain't got to perform it no more. Boy, I'll tell y'all a funny situation. How many of y'all damn near thought y'all gonna die because it's too hot? It's you don't, you don't, you don't worked up, you got your blood pressure pumping all the way through the skit ceiling, and you don't try to go round two and three just to prove a point, and you feel like your heart about to explode. Now I just want to know how have y'all been through that before? Because I mean, shit, I done did it a couple of times and felt like I was gonna die. I had to tell the motherfucker, wait a minute, I think I'm I think just don't touch me, don't touch me. I just I'm trying to grab my heart and everything. I thought I said, Oh god, I gotta go get back on the treadmill. I gotta start working on my cardio, I gotta start taking my vitamins. Boy, I started saying, I gotta do something because I cannot go out this way. I can't go out like Willy Lump Lump.

Choose Partners Wisely And Set Boundaries

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Well, speaking of Willie Lump Lump, don't hit everything that is thrown your way. I just want to say that. Don't hit everything that is thrown your way because everything ain't meant to be hit, everything ain't meant to be fucked. Like I've said that on a previous episode. Um, because sometimes you gotta pass on certain shit because certain people ain't all the way there upstairs. You get what I'm saying? Because certain people be on some bullshit, they might be toxic, they might be a psych patient, they might be just crazy as fuck. So I'm gonna go ahead and tell y'all. If y'all can get invited over somebody else, go to their medicine cabinet and it'll tell you a lot about them. I'm just gonna let you know. Because if you go in there and they got some shit called lithium or some shit like that, you might need you might need the goddamn exit stage left. Because that means that motherfucker been through some things, and that motherfucker might kill you in your sleep. I'm just saying. Um, but what would you do if you if you see these things? Excuse my retarded ass dog. Yes, I know he's he's kind of big and fat. He's kind of old too. Um, but yes, some some things don't mean need to be touched in that manner because a lot of times individuals will hype things up to where they that you think that you need to be there. You don't need to be there. Sometimes you just gotta say, nah, I'll pass on that. And I had to explain to somebody the other day, I said, I'm at this, I explained to my homeboy. I said, shit. I said, bro, this shit got this world got me so turned off, man. And people's mindsets got me so turned off thinking that before we even communicate, or I just to get your interest, I gotta fork up some cash. Please, what the fuck, what the fuck kind of world do we live in? Y'all simp ass dudes done started this bullshit and these motherfuckers running away with it, thinking they just suppose that you were supposed to fork up cash, and we have an endless supply of fucking money. I heard a female say the other day that she would hate to be a male in this age and era because of the the the stipulations that come. On males' pockets, every male ain't rich, and every male ain't got no guy like that. We have responsibility the same way y'all do. And a lot of times people don't understand that. And they just think that we're supposed to give, give, give, and not worry about our own shit. Like, what do you why are you pocket watching me? If you're thinking that you're supposed to be entitled to everything in my pocket, you ain't the one for me. I'm just gonna say it to you. You're not the one for me. Because why should I pay for your attention? Because if I if I if that's the way I got you, you're gonna leave when the drip well runs dry. Because why the fuck are you just sitting here and I'm entertaining somebody that don't want to get to know me for real? They're not even interested, they're just interested in what I can do for them. I mean, for real. Because I'm gonna go ahead and tell y'all this. Because I tell people like this off of sexual gratifications. Sexual gratification is the cherry on top, it's not the sustenance. You get what I'm saying? It's the entire vibe that you get from being with that individual, and you spending time, you hit laughing and joking and conversations and everything like that. But when y'all get to doing a whoop-to-whoop, it's just the top, it's just a terry on top, it's just the sprinkles, it's not the whole item.

Bigger Connection Beyond Sex

SPEAKER_01 23:15

But I want to thank y'all for listening to me on my bullshit. Here it four steppers on, and we out. Peace.