Hack or Slash - A Horror Movie Review Podcast
Each week a panel of horror fans discuss horror movies past and present. We believe horror is for everyone, regardless of how familiar you are with the genre, or which flavor of fear you fancy most. We dissect new releases, compare originals to reboots, and tell you whether or not the movies are a hack (a waste of time) or a slash (totally killer - pun intended).
Hack or Slash - A Horror Movie Review Podcast
Horror Games | Round 1 Recap
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
This week we're breaking down the biggest face-offs, most surprising upsets, and early trends emerging from the first round of this year's Horror Games. With 64 contenders entering the arena and only 32 surviving, we examine the blowouts, the closest calls, and the tributes who fell in battle across all four districts. We also reveal the challenge awaiting the remaining competitors in Round 2 as the games continue.
Thanks for listening to Hack or Slash! Want more from the show?
Join us on Patreon for extended episodes, bonus reviews, B-sides, watchalongs, behind-the-scenes extras, and more ways to help keep the show alive and slashing.
You can also hang out with us between episodes in our community spaces. Join the Discord for watch parties, episode discussions, horror recommendations, and general spooky nonsense.
Follow Hack or Slash:
Have thoughts on this week’s movie? Leave a comment, send us a voicemail, or tag us online. We love hearing your thoughts on the movies we cover.
Happy slashing!
Music Credits: "Hack or Slash" by Daniel Stapleton
Greetings and salutations, and welcome to the first round recap for the 2026 Horror Games, also affectionately known as Monster Madness, where we'll be breaking down some of the best face-offs, the biggest upsets, and the lukewarm takes on what's next for our surviving tributes. My name is Chris, I'm your host and mentor for District 4, the Slashers, in this year's games, and with us we had the Monster Madness game maker herself, Chell. This first round saw 64 tributes enter the arena and they set out to prove their worthiness. Chell, what can you tell us about this first round of play?
SPEAKER_01Of the 64 that set out on that first day of March to represent their districts proudly, unfortunately 32 of them failed to do so and are being sent licking their wounds back to their districts. But as half falls, the other half rises, and we have 32 tributes preparing for the next round of battle. It was incredible to see the fervor with which our districts and our capital were cheering and alliances were made for their favorite contenders and their favorite tributes. The bloodshed was fierce, and it was incredible to see the tradition of the horror game start in such an incredibly strong way.
SPEAKER_00And really, when we think about the strength of that start, we had some that were absolute blowouts. Starting with Chell, you've mentioned it as we're going through the week with the voting. It seems as though Dracula was dominating and Dr. Morris never stood a chance.
SPEAKER_01Well, as one of the first bloodthirsty uh monsters that we know of in our history of horror lore, it is no shock that he took 100% of the votes, sucking every bit of life out of Dr. Morris, leaving nothing left, taking 100% of the love and favor in this round, and moving on with swift and ease to round two.
SPEAKER_00And let me tell you, folks, it's a little embarrassing when you don't even get one vote, not even an accidental vote. Dr. Morris, you have much to be ashamed of. But while the Dracula and Dr. Morse showdown was vast and a cavernous hole between the two, some of these races were much tougher to call. Starting with our Valentine's seed, we had the hard eyes killer versus Harry Warden.
SPEAKER_01Yes, in this round, both motivated by love, these killers were again forced to uh see which was loved more in the eye of the public. And it was incredible to see just slash after slash the entire time. We were worried, Chris, that we may actually be forced to go to a tiebreaker with these two. But as luck would have it, or as love would have it, the hard eyes killer did manage to pull out the win in this one.
SPEAKER_00It is incredible that we're getting the polycule representation for the hard eyes killer. Harry Warden, you fought valiantly. May you return in next year's games. But on the other side of the holiday, we had a tale of two Billy's in two different matchups. But first, we had Billy from Black Christmas going up against Patrick Bateman from American Psycho.
SPEAKER_01This was an incredible example of style in Patrick Bateman and survival with Billy from Black Christmas. These are two very different tributes being forced to face each other. And it was fascinating to see just how close they could make it, coming from very different ends of the spectrum and still demanding down to one of the very last votes to decide which one would be moving forward.
SPEAKER_00And I have a sneaking suspicion that very last vote was from one of our capital citizens who actually commented on our poll and said, Billy, because he's hot.
SPEAKER_01I am not as well versed in the ways of love, but what the heart wants, the heart wants.
SPEAKER_00Well, it's a little bit of a mystery, Billy. You only get to see, as we see in his district portrait here, a section of his eye, a little bit of hair. It seems like he has good cheekbones, perhaps, and he did have just enough mystery to win out over Patrick Bateman. Now, for the other Christmas Billy, we have Billy Chapman going up against Frendo the Clown, both of whom had movies done very recently and in theaters.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and in this one, Frendo the Clown emerged from his cornfield ready to take it all. It was a hard-fought match for the first couple days, swapping blows and neither one being willing to uh be the punchline of the joke, so to speak. Uh but as the days went longer, it was very clear that Billy Chapman had the endurance and was able to make a breakaway at about day three. And it was clear that there was no way that Fendo was going to make his way to the next round. It just simply wasn't possible.
SPEAKER_00Now we think about the dynamics of this race and the voting that took place. And what's interesting is that as we look at some of the rest of these matchups, it's important to remember what the filter was. As we had Dracula and Dr. Morris, as we had the Billy's, as we had Frendo. For the first round, the game makers actually called upon us to act out of love for our favorite tributes rather than hate.
SPEAKER_01Well, Chris, too often in this game we lean on the brains and the brawn, and not enough focus is placed on the heart of the game. Sometimes it can be the only thing telling us the truth. And in round one, we felt it important to trust our hearts, to trust that love, hence love over hatred, was the name of the game for this round of play.
SPEAKER_00Most certainly. And obviously, while love came big and small in some of our previous races, we want to look at a few other key matchups that we saw in this first round. First off, with the invisible man, and he outranked Boris Karloff's special, who managed to only score two votes.
SPEAKER_01Yes, it was it was a tragic day to see the just the absolute bloodshed from the beginning. It was very clear that he was out of his league and that the invisible man was playing a game that his contender had no right even playing in or even stepping foot into that arena. So it is it is going to be a long time before I think we see Mr. Hjalmar get back into our ri arena, but we're we're ready for him. And perhaps uh the broken heart he walked away with today will fuel him to maybe come back in the future.
SPEAKER_00And the classics district actually came up with a few solid matchups because then we also had the iconic cabinet of Dr. Caligari versus the exorcist, or more specifically, Dr. Caligari himself up against Reagan McNeil, possessed Reagan McNeil.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and this was a fascinating one. Reagan was very clearly up in the game, one never won for loving or trusting doctors. It was very clear that Dr. Caligari was going to have his work cut out for him in this round with Reagan. But fascinatingly, while Reagan thrived in this first round, her companion, her other half, if you will, Pazuzu, did not fare as well.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I think it's really fair to say when we think about Reagan and Pazuzu as a team, as a dynamic, teamwork makes the dream work. And in most cases, that would carry you very forward, except that Pazuzu himself went up against the dream master, Mr. Freddy Krueger, the dream killer. Now, folks, I don't even know how this was even remotely a competition, but again, Pazuzu managed to only get two votes because it shows that without Pazuzu, behind every good demon, there is a strong woman making that demon scary. And in this case, it was Linda Blair.
SPEAKER_01And we knew that anyone coming up against Freddy Krueger in this in this year's tournament was going to have his work cut out for him. It's very clear that after last year's loss, Freddy Krueger sharpened his claws and was prepared to take what was his, to achieve his dreams while haunting those of his comp opponents.
SPEAKER_00Most certainly. But let's take a look at another iconic slasher who actually stepped in over in the slasher district, and that was what I like to affectionately known as the J Crew. We had Jason Voorhees versus John Carver. Jason, who honestly has had a tremendous year. In this year alone, we have three Friday the 13ths. Last year we had a Friday the 13th on his birthday in the summer. What an absolute domination Jason had over John.
SPEAKER_01John Carver clearly did not count enough of his blessings before he came into this tournament because there wasn't even a conversation. Jason carved him up and served him for dinner without even a second thought. And it's very clear that Jason, also a favorite in last year's, is ready to come back, is ready to be the slasher that Michael Myers was last year, our prior victor. He is not one that is going to lay down and die. He is going to continue to come back this year. And John Carver was simply fodder in the way towards his goal.
SPEAKER_00What I think is also fascinating to take a look at is that Jason really had a lazy start last year. He really lucked his way throughout the entire bracket. And today we see that he is a changed man, supercharged by his summer birthday last year, and not taking anything for granted. Now, let's actually look back at the classic district because we had a little bit of a surprising turnout show.
SPEAKER_01Yes, absolutely. The tournament, the face-off that everyone has been a buzz about is the face-off between the wolfman and the bride. Now, if you remember, during the reaping, I did say that the bride was going to be making her presence known, but good heavens, we did not think that she would make the wolfman her lapdog in the process.
SPEAKER_00Well, I look back at the wolfman and I see him as predatory. Not as a predator and a villain, because as we saw in the original film, he is the hero of the story. But look at how he treats the women in that film. Now, the bride vanquished the wolfman. I also think it may have been because the wolfman had a really bad movie this year. Now, let's actually consider for a moment another set of movies that have come out. Because we had over in the Slasher District the Kevin Williamson seed. We saw Ghostface square off against the fisherman from I Know What You Did Last Summer, and both of those franchises have gotten new sequels within the last 12 months. But of course, Ghostface proved to be the host face with the most face, apparently, and dominated the fishermen despite recent sentiments towards the franchise.
SPEAKER_01I see what you did there. That was a joke, Chris. Very, very well done. Yes, of course, the games, we it's all about tradition, but we do need the glitz and glamour and having some celebrities abuzz in our midst. I mean, who could blame us for wanting the conversation to be steered in such a way with the Kevin Williamson seed?
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. Now, of course, before we turn to round two and those that remain, we have to consider and remember and honor the tributes that did not survive round one.
SPEAKER_01Returning to District One is Dr. Morris, Imhotep, Hjalmar Polzig, The Wolfman, Gilman, Mark Lewis, Dr. Caligari, and Mr. Hyde.
SPEAKER_00And returning to District 2, we have the illustrious Pazuzu, Samara Morgan, Dark Alessa, Kayako Saiki, Nayorona, Mary Shaw, The Entity, and Valak.
SPEAKER_01Returning to District 3: The Tall Man, Sill, Alien from Signs, The Sweetly Slasher, Job Smith, The Amalgamation, The Long One, and Mr. Gray.
SPEAKER_00And returning to District 4 with their heads held high. The Strangers Harry Warden Patrick Bateman The Fisherman. The Camp Nightwing Killer. Angela Baker. And last but not least, Brendo the Clown.
SPEAKER_01May their sacrifices be a reminder to the remaining that everyone's time on this bloody battlefield we called life is temporary and we mustn't waste it.
SPEAKER_00Now these tributes are gone, but not forgotten. Because as Lori Strode once wrote, evil never dies, it just changes shape. The time has come to set our sights on our next round of play. Now only 32 of the most threatening tributes remain, and as a special perk for our patrons, our residents of the capital, if you will, we offered them the opportunity to help us twist the fates of the threatening thirty-two by voting for what challenge the tributes must withstand this week. Our citizens have spoken, and your voting filter for round two Race for Shock Its Best Origin Story.
SPEAKER_01Man cannot live on blood alone. We need the stories, the drama, the drive to properly sustain our hunger.
SPEAKER_00Every monster has a beginning. Sometimes it's clearly told, and sometimes it's pieced together through rumor, flashbacks, or half-explained legends. And sometimes no one really knows where the monster even came from at all. For each matchup, your vote should go to the tribute with the highest and the most compelling origin story. Think about the story behind the monster, how they became what they are, the events that set their legend in motion. It can be tragic, it can be mysterious, it can be mythic, or it can even be completely bizarre. In round two, you're not voting based on kills, strength, or survival skills. You're voting for the tribute whose origin story builds the most powerful legend. But Chell, what are your predictions for round two?
SPEAKER_01I'm going to take us back to last year's horror games and remind us all of the fervor that the fans had for Leatherface. Now, if you remember, he did not last long. He was felled by Godzilla in the second round of play. But the fans did not disappoint this time around. They came out swinging, and I'll tell you what, eyes are on Leatherface. And as we enter the origin stories, as they face off against the urban legend killer, I think we'll see a great deal of conversation about whose origin story is better, uh more terrifying, if you will.
SPEAKER_00And really let's take a moment to dissect this because Brenda Bates, the urban legend killer, at least from the first film, has one of the most elegant origin stories in Slasher history. Her fiance was killed by a thoughtless prank inspired by urban legend, so she said, Hold up, let me wield an unparalleled level of petty. She had rolled in the university of the girl responsible. She became her best friend, and then she built a killing spree structured entirely around the folklore that destroyed her very life. Every murder becomes a callback. And Leatherface is actually a different kind of origin entirely, and a more complicated one to pin down, because like Halloween, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise has cycled through multiple reboots, timelines, and contradicting canons across nine films spanning nearly 50 years. But the emotional core holds across all of them. A child born into or adopted by a family of killers in rural Texas, and he's shaped by entirely by violence before he's even old enough to understand what it is, and he's handed a chainsaw as a birthright. So no version of Leatherface chose this life, but Brenda chose every single step. The matchup and this round of voting is a really a question of which origin hits harder. The one born from a thirst for vengeance, or the one born into a bloodthirsty family.
SPEAKER_01And of course, if we're if we're going to be talking about origins in their in their films, Leatherface has always had his origin laid out for the viewer wherever where wherever you have seen him, his his story is there in his family, in his backstory, in his face and his brutality and his work. But the Urban Legend Killer, it takes us a little bit longer to understand the origin story. It takes us an entire movie before we realize who the Urban Killer Legend legend killer is and why she has such a thirst for blood.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. Now, another mystery that remains to us all is really who the hell is going to come out of District 3 because there's a lot happening over there, Chell.
SPEAKER_01Like an alien language, there is not much rhyme or reason happening above us in the stars of District 3. Uh, it's very hard to follow how the games are being played in that district, and it's very hard to tell who may emerge victorious and who will be sent to a galaxy far, far away licking their wounds.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. Now I'm not sure who's going to be licking their wounds between our next matchup, and that comes out, let comes over to us from district two. And for me, Child, this is the most compelling matchup in round two for origin story purposes, largely because both characters are born from injustice. Both transcend death through belief and invocation. The differences are actually in scale, intent, and cultural weight. When you consider Freddie Krueger, he was literally conceived in a mental asylum, raised by an abusive alcoholic, bullied into violence, a child predator at worst, and then just a child murderer at best. And then he was burned alive by a mob of parents after he escaped the clutches of the justice system on a technicality. And even then he continues killing in the dream world. Now, in the film series, Candyman is depicted as an African American man who was brutally murdered for a forbidden 19th century interracial love affair. He was a talented, educated artist who fell in love with the right woman but in the wrong century. And a racist mob sawed off his hand, covered him in honey, and let the bees sting him to death while chanting a name meant to humiliate him. He returns as an urban legend, and each and every known Candyman represents a manifestation of the brutalities, the horrors, and the disenfranchisement of the African American community. And this is the hardest for me the matchup this is the hardest matchup in round two because Freddy's origin is crafted and escalates across a popular 80s franchise, but Candyman's origin is found. It's pulled from the actual record of racial violence in America and given supernatural form. Freddy's story is personal, but Candyman's story is collective. So I think the question becomes whether the people respond to a villain built with extraordinary fiction versus an icon who's built on extraordinary truth.
SPEAKER_01And I think the thought of location mustn't uh be forgotten this as well, because as we learn the origin story of Freddy, it is in our nightmares. It is as we close our eyes to go to sleep at night, near death, as the little death as sleep is. But Candyman, his origin, we are forced to be awake in the real world to face his origin and the cruelty that led him to be such a monster. And sometimes being in the location is as scary as anything in the origin.
SPEAKER_00What's scarier? Real life or your nightmares? I mean, who's to say in 2026? But another interesting matchup we have is a tale of two immortal creatures.
SPEAKER_01Yes, Chris, this is why we play the games. We could not have orchestrated this if we tried. But yes, as We enter Origin's story as our challenge for the week. It is fascinating to see Count Orlock and Count Dracula facing off. It will be a very tricky one if we think that they do have a shared heritage when you get down to it in a way. But as all horror fans know, even stories that start the same way can still diverge in very different ways.
SPEAKER_00Oh, most certainly, because this is an unusual matchup of the round. These two characters share the same source material as you mentioned. Orlock is, in a technical and both illegal sense, a counterfeit Dracula, a Timu Dracula, if you will. But in a mythological sense, they diverged completely the moment Nosferatu hit the screen and was banned. Dracula was once a warrior, a medieval nobleman who fought crusades, who defended kingdoms, and so far across centuries of war and betrayal and crossing oceans of time to find people, that he chose damnation over defeat and became the thing that redefined horror forever. But Count Orlock was never ever a man, unless you're in Robert Heger's film. According to the Lord Nasuratsu, he descended from Belial, a satanic archdemon associated with pestilence, and he's been spreading the plague and death across Europe ever since. Not as a fallen hero, not as a romantic lover boy, but as something that was always this way. Dracula gives you tragedy, but Orlock gives you nothing to feel sorry for. And that is honestly something that I think makes this a little bit more challenging. The twist that makes this matchup strange is Orlock came first on Film Chell. He came to the scene in 1922, and it was his grotesque rat-like appearance that was actually faithful to Stoker's novel. It wasn't until Bella the Ghost sees Dracula, that's when he stepped into the role for Universal 1931, that the world got the suave cape wearing count that we know today. And Dracula has never looked back. So in essence, Orlock gave us the monster, but Dracula gave us the thirsty icon.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And if we look in a grander context, simply think of the journey that Count Orlock had after the controversy of his reveal to the world, it was determined that all evidence of Count Orlock should be destroyed. The reason that we know the origin or even the name Orlock is because at some point a brave soul decided to save Orlock and his story for safekeeping. One day being able to share it with the masses again. And while origin stories are all about how you start in this one, I do think we need to also take note of how one finishes.
SPEAKER_00Sometimes it's not about who did it first, it's about who did it best. Or sometimes also who did it first. Now, one of the things that I think is important is to notice that as we go into this next round of voting when our tributes enter the arena, they're going to have been gifted a glow-up, if you will. All of them with fresh icons and the official symbol of their district to remind us and them who they fight for.
SPEAKER_01These official portraits were made possible by some very generous funders who wanted to see to it that even when facing death, one must always look their best. And after all, this is a game, this is a show, and if we aren't putting on a good show, then what was the point of it at all?
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. Now, there you have it, folks. We've completed our first round of play in the 2026 Horror Games Arena, but the fun and the bloodshed have only just begun because the time is now to vote for the threatening 32.
SPEAKER_01As we bid farewell to the many tributes who have left the games too soon in this first round, we look to a new day and the next round of play. Voting for round two will begin on March 6th at noon and will end on Monday, March 9th.
SPEAKER_00Good luck, and may the scares be ever in your favor.