A Beverly Hills Celebrity Matchmaker Finally Said Why do Men Cheat. The Answer Is Not What You Think

Why do men cheat?
It is not what you think. It is not about the relationship. It is not about the woman. According to one of the most prominent celebrity matchmakers in Beverly Hills — it is proximity and opportunity. And that changes everything about how we think about loyalty.
Alessandra Conti is a celebrity matchmaker and Co-Founder of Matchmakers In The City in Beverly Hills. In 14 years she has matched A-list celebrities, royalty and Real Housewives cast members. She has worked with clients from age 21 to 88. She has been on Bravo, NBC, CBS, MTV and Fox News.
And in this conversation she finally says the things that do not make it into the TV segments.
Why successful women are accidentally repelling the men they want. Why men who are great at dating are terrible at relationships. What the gold digger accusation is actually about — and what separates a gold digger from a woman who knows her worth. Whether a serial cheater can ever become faithful. What your friend group has to do with whether you cheat. Why women cheat as much as men — and why nobody knows. And what 14 years of finding love for other people has taught her about whether love actually exists.
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TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Opening 
01:30 Are the most eligible men in Beverly Hills as good as they seem
06:00 What successful women get wrong when dating
10:00 Is it a myth that men are intimidated by successful women
14:00 Feminine energy and letting him lead — what it actually means
19:00 How matchmaking actually works — the process
26:00 From 21 to 88 — who actually uses a matchmaker
31:00 Are male and female clients looking for the same thing
36:00 How many clients are actually ready for love
40:00 Why do men cheat — the real answer
47:00 Can a serial cheater become faithful
51:00 What your friend group has to do with cheating
56:00 Working with clients who have been cheated on
62:00 The gold digger accusation — where it comes from
68:00 The difference between a gold digger and knowing your worth
73:00 What celebrities actually lack in their relationships
78:00 Advice for the person who has given up on love
82:00 After 14 years — does she still believe love exists
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ABOUT ALESSANDRA CONTI
Celebrity Matchmaker and Co-Founder, Matchmakers In The City, Beverly Hills. 14 years matching A-list celebrities, royalty and public figures. Featured on Bravo, NBC, CBS, MTV and Fox News. matchmakersinthecity.com | @alessandraconti
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ABOUT INSIGHT
INSIGHT is the first Armenian-English language power and culture podcast in the United States, hosted by Emma Sargsyan. Distributed across all major podcast platforms and amplified through Tribune.am reaching 30 million monthly readers globally.
Subscribe for new episodes every week.
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Follow Emma: @emmasargsyan
Listen: Spotify · Apple Podcasts · All major platforms
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#BeverlyHills #Matchmaking #CelebrityMatchmaker #WhyMenCheat #Dating #Relationships #GoldDigger #Love #AlessandraConti #INSIGHT #EmmaInsight #DatingAdvice #RelationshipAdvice #Cheating #Loyalty

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Why do men cheat? Why do women stay? Why does the most eligible man in Beverly Hills end up in a matchmaker's office alone? And why does the woman who has seemingly everything except the right person keep choosing the wrong one? My guest today has spent 13 years answering those questions from the inside. A celebrity matchmaker, Beverly Hills. A-listers, royalties, real housewives. Her name is Alessandra Conti. And today she is going to say the things she has never said on Access Hollywood or on Fox News or on Bravo. Because this is not that kind of the interview. Before we start, if this is your first time, hit subscribe. Because this is exactly the kind of conversation we have on Insight every single week. And you do not want to miss what comes next. Let's go. Alessandro, thank you very much for being here. It's such a pleasure, Emma. I'm so excited. I'm more than sure that what we are going to discuss today comes from the heart of many many people watching my episodes regularly or not so. I want to start from the very beginning. You have sat across some of the most eligible men in Beverly Hills. And women seem to have certain criteria what men should look like. And there is kind of contradiction or not a contradiction. I want you to tell me more about are they really as good as they are, the ones that are sitting across you? And if they are sitting with you in your room looking for love, what what has gone wrong for them to end up with uh to with your help?

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Absolutely. I mean, I feel like the men that work with matchmakers are very intentional men and they're very successful in basically every other area of their lives. And a lot of the men that we get, it's not that they can't attract women on their own. They absolutely can. But a lot of times the women that they're attracting are the wrong kinds of women. Um, and they're women that are very focused on finding um a provider, which I don't think there's anything wrong with looking for a man that's a protector and a provider, but they're focused only on the provider element. And I always say when you marry for money, you end up paying for the rest of your life. So I tell that to women all the time. Um, and the men, they, the men that are coming to us, they want a woman that is in it for the right reasons, that genuinely wants love. Um, and that also they're going to match, not just have physical compatibility, because that's, you know, that's that's really easy to find, especially in a place like LA, Beverly Hills, but they want to have intellectual compatibility. And the this this key is emotional compatibility. These men need a warm, feminine, nurturing woman. And a lot of times that's lacking in the women that they're meeting on their own.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

What is the thing with all the successful women who can do on their own? They are not in the rad radar of those men.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

So I mean, I think that's something that a lot of successful women get wrong, is that they feel like they have to be, you know, proving proving their their professional accolades. And men don't really care. I mean, men respect a woman that is, you know, doing wonderful things in her career. Absolutely. Every single man that has ever come in, with the exception of like, you know, two a few years ago that I remember, I was like, I could not, I can't, I can't match this man. Like he is unmatchable. He's unmatchable. He's unmatchable. And I don't want to work with this person. But, you know, that he could care less. He just wanted to, you know, but that's not what we do. We don't do just um just we do, we're matchmakers. We are finding love matches for people. But I think that what women get wrong is they are they're saying, Well, I have my Harvard MBA, I have, I'm the CEO of a company, I'm this, I'm that, I'm the other. And they're leading with that. And the men are like, oh, that's that's really wonderful. Like, I, you know, that shows that you're intelligent, but that's not, that's not what they are looking for in their future wives. There, yes, that's wonderful because they can have this intellectual um a conversation with them and they can keep them on their toes and all of that. But it's not, this is not something that is going to be, you know, this is not a this is not a major like, wow, now I want to go on a date with this woman. The men that generally speaking, and I'm I'm speaking so in generalities, but this is just the general type of man that we get. He's successful, he's, you know, uh has a great career, has a wonderful life that he loves, and he just wants to share it with somebody that is gonna bring femininity into his life, is gonna bring nurturing into his life. Intelligence, absolutely. They don't want a woman that just sits there and is like, you're right, you're right, yes, honey, I love you. They want that a lot, but they also want a woman that's gonna be like, oh, sweetheart, that sounds like a wonderful idea. Have you ever thought about this? You know, but that femininity mixed with intelligence, chef's kiss. It's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 5:55

What you are telling me now and what we are used to hearing is like, is it a myth that men are intimidated by successful women? So, from what you are saying, is that the men love successful women, they are okay, unless you throw your resume on their face, like, hey, look who I am, and you are no one. So, is it a myth that we created for ourselves?

SPEAKER_02 6:16

Yes, it's completely a myth that men are intimidated by successful women. Men are only intimidated by successful women that are screaming it from the rooftops and that they feel like they have to prove to this man that I'm on your level, I'm doing like that that they're bringing that back to like the masculine energy and feminine energy. If they're bringing that masculine energy into an interaction, then of course a man's gonna be like, okay, oh, okay, oh, oh, okay. Men are competing in their daily lives with men and women. And that's beautiful. And any, any successful man that has gained his success because of business or because of law or because of, you know, medicine or whatever, they're dealing with a lot of intensity and masculine energy every single day. The last thing they want when they're going on a date is to then be with a woman that's like, well, I did this, I did this, what about you? So it's not about a woman that's successful, it's about how a woman is presenting that. If a woman is coming with a sense of of humbleness, of of, you know, of presenting her, you know, her success in a way of, you know, being humble and being kind and in a feminine way of like, oh yes, like it was so wonderful. I, you know, I received, I went to Harvard and got my MBA and what an amazing experience that was. Versus I went to Harvard, I have an MBA. What do you do? It's the way that women are presenting. So, and the the the the a big issue with successful women um that are in the workplace, that are very successful in the workplace, they don't know how to flip that work switch off and flip that feminine, feminine switch and their essence on. So when we get female clients, a lot of it is reminding them of their femininity and just reminding them of who they are and and embracing that feminine energy, that playful, warm, kind energy. That's really, and then how to present it. You don't have to be ashamed of success. It's a beautiful thing. Success is fabulous. It's all about how you're presenting it.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Yeah. I have this theory. I I don't know if I'm right or wrong, but I have this theory that woman starts to throw the resume on the face of the man when she when the man is not masculine enough. For example, she with the right man, she would not do that. The right man will be able to open all her feminine energy and instead of throwing the resume, he will get the emotional support and love and whatever that it is that you are saying. Is it true or not?

SPEAKER_02 9:05

I'm a big believer that every single man has the capacity to be that masculine, that masculine version of himself. Every male, because it's biological, men have a very high level of testosterone. Yes, there are more feminine men. We love those, but we love them, we love them. And that's, you know, but but but if a man does desire to be in that energy, that's very possible. Um I think that with some men, with the nice guy, quote unquote, the nice men, the nice guys, the ones that are a bit more beta, a ones that are a bit more um, they're just they're not the alpha guys. They're they're waiting. And so they don't, they're they're kind of testing the testing the waters. But I think that what women can do to really just ignite that switch in the dynamic of a relationship is they can let him lead. So three words we we try to use as a mantra when we're working with um the successful female clients, we say three words, let him lead. Let him lead. And it could be it's just, it's literally like sitting back and allowing the man to, you know, allowing him to open the door for you, allowing him, you know, for a lot of women, they're like, well, what can I do on a date that lets him lead? Let him order for you. Like just say here, I I trust you, I'm lactose intolerant. Other than that, I'm open. And it gives the man, it boosts the man's testosterone, the man's testosterone. And then he's like, okay, well, and they'll get everything on the menu. They will, because that's igniting them. Then then they're their testosterone boost. Okay. Men like to do these things. But a lot of times when there are women that are like, well, I don't find any men that are, you know, not dumb, that are not uh, I only meet men that are beta. I want a a masculine alpha man, the they're not letting these men lead. They're not stepping back when you set when you stand at a door. Just let him lead. He'll know what to do. He'll know what to do.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

You know, even those small things like opening the door or drink of the food, it starts from there, right? It sets the stage.

SPEAKER_02 11:28

Okay. It sets the stage. Women have so much power in a dynamic of a relationship. And I have seen men that are like I've worked with clients that are with me very, you know, they're they're very authoritative, you know, they're very, they're more of that masculine energy, they're more in their alpha. But then if they go on a date, they're nervous, they're this, they're that, and they're like, oh, I don't know what to do. And then so we tell the men, we're like, lead, okay, be ready, be in that, be in that prince charming energy. Um, get into, you know, when you make sure that you know the lay of the land of the restaurant, it's about confidence. It's about when you sit down, okay, make sure you're guiding this interaction, you're guiding the date. Make sure that if, if, you know, say, what do you want? What can I, you know, what can we get for you? Okay, yeah, I looked at the menu. There's this is really good. This is really good, this is really good. Um, and the man just taking that initiative, planning the date, of course. Like I say that as if it's a given, but not saying, I don't know, where do you want to go? Oh, no, no, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

What do you do with this? And it is so kind of like, I don't know, we'll see. Let's meet, we'll see. So, how do you battle with this? Like, how do you explain a man that this is not the way you do things?

SPEAKER_02 12:55

Yeah. Um, we just, we just we tell them. We say, you missed it doesn't help. We're and it's, you know, listen, as a matchmaker, and so at our company at matchmakers in the city, we have a team of matchmakers. So we have four primary matchmakers, two other matchmakers, myself and Christina, we're the um more uh VIP, and then we have um a few dating coaches as well. And so we have all like we all work with the clients. The four primary matchmakers are working with a majority of the clients. And then if there's somebody that's a bigger name or they are, you know, they've requested that they only want to work with me. And, you know, I'm I'm I'm a wonderful matchmaker. I am. I've I've I do a really wonderful job. I like give my heart and soul. Um, but you know, I know with me, I can only accept a small number of clients. But I will say right now, all of my, my private clients, they're all on success protocol. Really? I know. I know. And I'm like, I'm my fingers are crossed, um, and I'm really excited. But anyway, we've learned that men just need a little bit of guidance. They need the blueprint. They just need to know, okay, this is the the uh, this is like the the flight plan. Like this is the plan. This is what, this is how to do it so that you're setting the stage for your success from the very beginning. You're planning the date, you're picking the location. Um, you're saying, amazing, do you want me to send you an Uber? Or, you know, if you know, sometimes if they haven't met yet, the women feel a little awkward with it. Um, so they say wonderful meet there, the men be early. Like we just tell them these things, and then the smart ones do it and they see such a huge change in their, you know, a lot of the guys are, you know, they can be very successful, but then they also don't, you know, dating is a skill, and a lot of good men don't date a ton. So I always say men who are great at dating are typically not great at relationships, and men who are great at relationships are typically not so great at dating because it's a totally different skill set. So um we give them the skill set that they need to really um to do dating in a better way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

I want I want to understand as a person who has never ever used dating app or matching apps, how does that okay? Not yet. Yeah, maybe a person comes to you, says, Hey, Alessandra, I'm single. So it's equal for men and women, right? As a woman, also, so okay, a man comes to your room, says, Hey, I'm single, I want someone, and he gives you the criteria what he is looking for, or how like, okay, they they they are interested. What's next?

SPEAKER_02 16:03

Okay, so we then do a best match interview and personality assessment, and that is at our office. We're in Beverly Hills, so we love in person. They come in person, they meet with one of the matchmakers in person. Respectfully, any matchmaking company that is, you know, there are a lot of quote unquote Beverly Hills matchmaking companies. There's two. Like they're realistically, there's one other Beverly Hills matchmaking company. I love her. I love the the the matchmaker. And but we're the only two that are actually based in Beverly. Oh, you know what? Three, but based in Beverly Hills, meet with our clients in person. Okay. So what are the names?

SPEAKER_00 16:49

What are the rest?

SPEAKER_02 16:50

You know, I'm not gonna say the names because I don't know. I don't want the names. What are they doing? But they're meeting, but the the rest, oh, the rest, you mean the the rest, what are the rest doing? They're based in like Minnesota, and they are saying, Oh, yeah, we have Beverly Hills, where they they don't. So they're not meeting people in person. And, you know, after doing this for I'm now in my 14th year, which is wild. And it's so essential to meet people in person. You learn so much about them. You learn about, I know this is gonna sound weird, but you learn the way they smell, their body language, you learn their energy, their when they walk in a room, what is the energy that they're bringing? And then from there, learning about the person, not only physically, we're then asking them the best match interview and personality assessment questions. So we have a long um list of questions that the matchmakers ask. It's not as grueling as it sounds, but it's learning all about them. It's learning about their childhood, um, their, you know, their lifestyle. Are they somebody who loves to go out? Or are they, do they love staying in, you know, vacation-wise, travel wise, what does that look like for them? Are they the person that is, you know, in um Santorini lounging around? Or are they somebody that wants to do an active safari in Africa? You know, what are they? What is their, what, what is their ideal? And then we also learn in their brains, what is their ideal person? So it's men and women that we have male and female clients. So we try to just imagine what is their, like, what is the ideal person, what is their dream person? What do they look like job-wise, professions-wise? So we can get in their heads and figure out, okay, physically, this is generally what we're looking for. Energy wise, we're, we're, and it's so LA to say, but there's so much about a person's energy that you can only get in person. You know, you can't, you can meet on Zoom, it's fine. Yes, it's fine. But it's exactly like meeting somebody in person. And I can't tell you how many times I had done a Zoom with somebody only to meet them in person and been like, oh my gosh, I get it now. Like I get it. I get, I get, I get it. I get you so much more. Um, but we learned so much about them, what they're looking for. And then as matchmakers, we then, I mean, everybody on our team at minimum has been doing this for 10 years. I think the ladies have been doing it longer than I have. And they're incredible. Like the team is amazing. I love them so much. Every day I learn something new from the girls. Like they are just brilliant. I am a mere, you know, student to their fabulousness. And I'm learning. I'm like, oh my gosh, I didn't think about this. And, you know, sometimes I'll go rogue and be like, oh, I really want to make this match. And then, you know, we'll be talked off the ledge. So it's good. It's important to have a team. Um, but anyway, I'm kind of just going off on a tangent. All of this to say we meet them in person, we learn about what they're looking for. And then a lot of times people are too close to themselves to see themselves clearly. Neil Strauss said that. I did not say that. Neil Strauss is, I think he's a genius. He wrote the book, The Game. And but he's he's a genius. I mean, he he, you know, Nat he did this amazing podcast um to live and die in LA. Oh my gosh. Not matchmaking related in any way, shape, or form, but it's so we'll need to check it out. So you have to check it out. It's amazing. I was so hooked on it. But I love that quote because people are so close to themselves. So a lot of times there are blind spots, but that's where we come in. So a man might say, you know, I really want a woman that is, you know, highly independent and this, that, and the other. And then we're like, okay, we get that. But but we think actually that you might need somebody, yes, independent, but but actually that, you know, really desires partnership and wants to be that supporting role for you. Um, or it could be a woman that's like, I want an alpha male. I want the guy that's like, you know, domineering the room. And then we might be like, okay, we get that in theory, but in practice, we think you maybe need the more strong silent type versus the guy that's the loudest guy in the room, the charismatic man that you know, all the girls love and that's really great talker, um, but more of the man that unfolds. So yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:51

You have like you have a database of women and men. When you find out what the man is looking for, you can match the Like and you give him options? How does I really want to understand? Yes. No, it's it, these are really good questions. Um because a lot of people they don't understand matchmakers, they think it's only for celebrities, but as far as I could understand, it's not only for them. No. So just to understand the process, is it like a scary thing? Is it like what to expect?

SPEAKER_02 22:22

Yeah, it's so even though I know that for me, I just happen to fall into the world of matchmaking celebrities and doing TV shows where I'm matchmaking, really just because we're in LA and because like it all, everything in my story has just been so organic. Like my first TV thing was because one of my clients was like the head of a production company, and she was like, Oh my goodness, you know, we want, we need a matchmaker for the show. Can you do it? So I did that, and then we did another one, and then, you know, with face the truth on CBS with Vivica A. Fox, that was so much fun. And I got to, you know, do that. And then from there, like the access, like all of these different things. And then Housewives, which was like, oh my gosh, the most fun ever, because I love, um, I love especially the Beverly Hills franchise and I love the ladies, um, the ladies of Beverly Hills, but um, it's not just for celebrities. We just, you know, there is a specialty that I have specifically um because of, you know, having dealt with people in the public eye. And there is a different, you know, there's a different way of managing that relationship. And there's a different, um, they need, they need something a little bit different than a, you know, a very successful surgeon or a very successful um attorney or whatever it might be. So there's every, every profession needs something a little different, but we are in no way just for celebrities, just for royals, even though the royals are very fascinating to work with. Um and yeah, I mean, I I I have stories up the, you know, up for for years about all these really fascinating people that we've matched. But um all of that to say it's not just for those people. Um, but at the same time, matchmaking is not inexpensive, you know, matchmaking is an investment. It's not for everybody, but um, it is for people that have a level of success where they are, you know, they want to outsource this area of their lives. Um, so we work with professionals. Um, we work with um sometimes young professionals, sometimes, you know, our oldest client was an 88-year-old billionaire. And we got him engaged and married now. And she he got like a 14 karat diamond for his woman. And she was like age appropriate at 54, like not age appropriate, like 88, 54, but she was great. And it wasn't, it was a really good match. Like it was a really, really good. Wait, was he 88 or 77? Oh my god, I feel like I've told the story so many times, and I'm I'm walking out the the dates, whatever. He was just amazing. He was amazing. That was many, um, that was like six years ago. That was the oldest client that we've ever worked with. But what was the youngest? 21. 21 was the youngest. Yeah. 21. Yeah, and he got engaged. Yeah, he was ready. He was ready. He had founded an app of some kind, and he was just ready. He was like, I, you know, I I and yeah, I don't even think he went to college. I think he founded this app, ended up, you know, really achieving financial success. And then he was like, I, the women that I'm meeting, I am not, it's not aligning with my brain. His big thing was intellectual compatibility and physical compatibility. That's where the that's that's a tough thing because sometimes you get the physical, you don't get the intellectual, and then so it's always a it's a journey. But anyway, the basics of matchmaking at our company and matchmakers in the city. So we have a database. Okay. The database is application only, it's members only. You have to apply and then you get approved to be both a base member. Both men and women. But there is a there is a caveat where say I am at an event and I meet, I'm in junior league. Okay. So it's like an organization for volunteer for women. Um, you should be a part of it, by the way. You would love. They would love you. You would love it. It's more wonderful. Yeah, I'll tell you later. But um, all that to say, so junior league, say I'm at, you know, a junior league centennial gala, wonderful. And I'm at a table and I meet, you know, two women, and one of them, I am talking to her, and she's so beautiful and warm and fabulous. And I and I'm and I'm thinking of, I'm like, oh my gosh, my client would love her, love her. So I would then tell her, you know, I'm a matchmaker. I have a client who you might be a good match for. I don't know for sure, but let's get you in for an interview. And so then we wave like this, it's a paid fee. It's not expensive. It's $200 to be a part of the database. Um, but we would wave it because we're we're scouting her. It's like a scouting recruit. Um, and same for men. If we say I'm at a, you know, any event, any event and I meet a wonderful man that I'm like, wow, I think this guy could be really great for my female client or one of our female clients. We then would scout him, recruit him, and then only match him potentially with this woman. So we have that's our database. That's our database. Um, everyone is interviewed, background checked, social media checked, and sex offender searched. Matchmaking, generally speaking, um other matchmakers, they do have databases. Some are paid, some are not paid. The paid ones usually are good because there's more than just, oh yeah, we'll keep you on those. You're meeting with one of the matchmakers with us. We meet, one of the ladies meets with that person, interview, background check, social media check, sex offender search. So that's that's the basic membership. Priority membership is where they are the clients. So that is where they're getting a certain number of matches over the course of the year. Every man or woman has been interviewed, background check, social media check, sex offender search for them based on what they're looking for. It's all inclusive. So we set up all the dates, we plan all the dates, um, and they get a predate coaching and a post date coaching session. So they get a session before and then a session after, the session before, amp them up for the date, you know, walk through any concerns, any exciting whatever, and then they go on the date, see if there's a connection. If there is, amazing. If not, no worries. Either way, they fill out a date feedback form and then they meet with one of the matchmakers for a date feedback meeting after.

SPEAKER_00 29:21

So after each date that you do, they do this evaluation feedback form. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 29:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:26

Okay. And they pay you, or it's not expensive it's not inexpensive. It's starts from 20,000 to 100,000.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

Yes. You give no guarantees. 125 now we're at. 125. Yeah, it goes all the way up to 125. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

Okay. Yeah. You you give no guarantees. No.

unknown 29:43

No.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

But they still pay. What are they paying?

SPEAKER_02 29:46

Well, we, I mean, we give like, we don't guarantee marriage ever. Um, we never have and never will. Um, and we they we do guarantee that they're meeting 10 matches or eight matches or whatever membership that they're set signing up for. We guarantee that all the dates have been planned for them. We guarantee pre-day coaching, post aid coaching, we guarantee matchmaking. They're working with usually the team of matchmakers. So they work with not just one matchmaker, but they work with four of the primary matchmakers, unless they're doing a VIP membership, which is where they would work with either just me or just one of the other ladies that, and our pricing ranges based on availability. So, like right now, I am in a really good spot because my clients are matched. Um, so I am just happy as a clam. But at the same time, I I am very like I'm very selective with who I am taking on. Because when I am taking that person on, I am they are representing me and I am representing them. So if I take on a man and he is, you know, just you know, a menace and, you know, treating women terribly and, you know, just being rude to the waiter or whatever is that that I I I it's a really negative reflection for you for me. So I'm very selective with who I work with. They could be a huge name celebrity. I have turned them down before because some people are just they're they they're not grounded in reality. And so yeah, I I and I I you just I only want to take on people that I can actually matchmake. So for me, that's my boundary. But with matchmakers in the city, with the the matchmakers when they're doing a priority membership, not that they're more open, but they there are definitely different personalities that can handle, you know, harder personality types, and that's wonderful. That's why our system works so well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

Are your male clients and female clients looking for the same thing? Because from what I could look at, and like what I can see is male clients look more on for emotional stability, like this we spoke about, and females are looking for protection, the guarantees, uh, the the alpha male. So does it align what each other what each of them is looking for?

SPEAKER_02 32:30

I think it does align in the sense that everybody that is working with us is genuinely looking for their person in this massive world filled with so many people that they want their person. It looks different for everybody based on lifestyle, based on personality, based on goals, based on family planning, family goals. You know, we get a lot of women that are 30s, uh ready, right? They want to meet their husband, they want to start a family, they have dated in the past, it hasn't worked out for whatever reason, and they want to meet men that are in that same headspace of wanting marriage, wanting children. Um, we also tend to get a lot of people that are a bit more on the religious scale. So we get a lot of Jewish men or Jewish women. We get a lot of Christian men and Christian women that want to date Christian men and Christian women or Jewish men and Jewish women. So we get a lot of that scale as well. And especially in Beverly Hills, we have matched so much of the Jewish community. I know like so many of the single Jewish men in LA. We have at one point probably they've met a matchmaker of ours. We've matched them. Um, I was on the cover of J Living Magazine. I am Christian. I am a Catholic woman, but I was on the cover of Jay Living Magazine because we have matched so much of the Jewish You have become the hero. I'm like my my brothers and sisters. It's, you know, it's this, you know, it's a um, it's a Judeo-Christian values, all of that. But it's funny, like it's just because we've been here, like you can't, like, and I love my Jewish, the Jewish clients. We have Jewish matchmakers, so that's beautiful. We also love the Christian clients. We love all of that, and we know the very specific ways. So you get a lot of those. But I think the big, big things when women come in, usually they're ready for marriage, they want kids, or they're at that second stage of life. They're divorced, they, you know, they already have their kids and they want somebody that they can really enjoy the fruits of their labor with. So we get on that side. Then we also for the men, we tend to get, we get men that also want marriage, want family, but we also get some men that are like, I don't want kids. I don't want to have children, I want to get married, but I don't want kids. I don't know why it's for them, it it's it's very hard for them to find their person because I think a lot of women that don't want kids and they're very vocal about it, they then are la, and I'm not saying I am I'm generalizing, but I think what I've heard from them is that, you know, they don't then have that like nurturing energy that these guys are looking for because even though they don't want to have kids, they still want to be nurtured, you know?

SPEAKER_00 35:50

So you know, all it's such a complex thing. It's very complicated. I have a question. How many of your clients that you are working with are actually paying that much money to you to find love ready for that, versus they are how many, like what percentage of your clients is paying you that money to outsource a problem that is internal inside? Oh my gosh. Yeah, because I I can sense that there may be cases where you have the problem from inside and you just give Alessandra the money, blame it on her. I cannot find the spa, the perfect match for me, and you are to blame. No, it's so true.

SPEAKER_02 36:32

It's like don't shoot the matchmaker. And the thing is, in any profession, you get that, and especially in matchmaking, it's the most emotional, sensitive area of somebody's life. So you could literally set somebody up with the most objectively incredible men, incredible women. But for women, I feel like they they they tend to be the angrier types that just in my experience, and you know, when it doesn't fully align, like we're setting them up with these wonderful men, but for whatever reason, the guys are not attracted to them or they're not attracted, like, you know, there's there's something that's that's you know, but um, but yeah, I mean, and you you could set somebody up with somebody that, you know, with six matches that have been Ivy League educated, have wonderful careers, and they could still lose their minds. That's the nature of what we do. Unfortunately, you get disgruntled clients and it's it's really challenging. Um, and with that, we've learned, and I thought we were, you know, we were getting amazing perfect at this, but there's no perfection. But we've learned just we have to have very strong guardrails when we're possibly potentially accepting clients in. Um, so we try to ask all the questions. We see if if there is, you know, realistic expectations versus what there, if there's unrealistic expectations, if there's a little bit of a gap, okay. That's okay. It's okay. But if the gap is really big, we have a big problem. We have a big problem. Um, so we've learned, we've learned the hard way, we've learned the easy way sometimes when we just don't accept somebody. Um, but you know, it's I think everybody could use a little bit of therapy. Like, I don't think it's a bad thing for anybody. And if not therapy, spiritual direction, you know, talking to your priest, talking to your rabbi, you know, talking to whatever spiritual leader you have, um, and healing those wounds, those attachment wounds. The, you know, attachment is so big in what we do. Um, you know, attachment theory. I'm I'm a big um understander and believer in attachment theory of, you know, secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized, you know, um, and matchmaking based on that as well. Um, but yeah, I mean, I don't think, I think anybody could use, everybody could use a little bit of a little bit of therapy, let's say.

SPEAKER_00 39:16

Yeah, that's so true.

SPEAKER_02 39:17

And we are not therapists, that's for sure. We're matchmakers.

SPEAKER_00 39:21

From the culture where I am from, from Armenian culture, going to therapy, oh my god. Like you go to there might must be something wrong with you if you go to therapy. I don't know if it's true for other cultures, but now it's getting better. Why do men cheat? You have seen so many men, and like the PR answer, the regular answer would be either all men cheat, just suck it up, or they are not getting what they want from their wives or loved ones. That's why they cheat. But I want the honest answer coming from a person who has seen so many relationships work out and not work out. What is the problem?

SPEAKER_02 39:59

Well, there have been so many studies about this, and I think it's just fascinating. Um, the predictor that one of the latest studies has shown that it's not even relationship satisfaction. That's an element as to why men cheat. But there's the two major reasons why a man cheats: proximity and opportunity. Okay. And that's why it's so important to have boundaries with, if you're heterosexual, male-female friendships. And it's so essential. It's so essential, strong boundaries in place within the relationship because that best friend of the guy, um, studies have also shown that a lot of men have uh charted having more physical and sexual attraction to their female friends versus the women that are in those friendships. They're like, oh no, you know, I'm not, it's just a different experience for men and women. And I still think even with, you know, I'm not saying women are innocent in this, I think it's the same, um, the same numbers are there for women cheating too. It's proximity and opportunity. So that's why when if a person and not all men cheat, that is not the studies do not support that at all. Um, there is, you know, the men that are really our serial cheaters, there's a lot of other deeper, deeper things going on there. There's insecurity, there's, you know, um a need for constant validation. There's, you know, there's an inadequacy that they feel. Um, but proximity and opportunity. It's not even about, you know, a woman could be the most incredible wife or most incredible girlfriend or whatever it is. But, you know, a guy has opportunity and is close. It's it's just, it's really sad. Um, but I also think that there is a very strong swing in especially like modern culture of men being the best versions of themselves and men um understanding that all the things, all the cars, all the things, all the homes, it's not gonna make them feel fulfilled. What really makes them feel fulfilled is when they're living a virtuous life. And when virtue is at the top, when a man's moral code is so strong that he is like, I, it doesn't even matter about the woman I'm with. And we, I have, I, I, I, we've had clients that have said, you know, things like this. And I was like, whoa, this is real self-actualization. Um, he had all the cars, he had all the homes, and he said, Listen, that was not fulfilling. For me, it's my personal virtue. It's the respect I have for myself. And that includes very strongly loyalty, fierce loyalty. And you get a lot of men that are all about fierce loyalty and that fulfills them. They wake up in the morning and they are living a virtuous life. They're, they're in, they don't have a cloud hanging, you know, behind them. They don't have anxiety, they don't have depression. They're living, that's like the half the battle of, you know, negating those things is getting rid of those behaviors of cheating, of being unfaithful, of, you know, they're micro cheating, macro cheating, whatever it is. So and you can put guardrails. Guardrails are strong boundaries with male female friendships. No one on ones, no. Oh, I'm gonna grab coffee with a friend that is attractive. Absolutely not. For men and for women. Men and women, you don't know this male friend of this woman. You don't know what his intentions are. He's waiting for a little gap to come on in, even during a coffee. I've seen it all. I have seen it all. So proximity and opportunity, but put guardrails up because it can be. And also chase virtue, chase God, pray together. Um, you know, I'm just such a big believer in whatever faith you are, you know, understanding that there's more than just this life. And we're gonna have to answer, you know, for these things for everything we've done, every single thing. And it's an internal thing. It's an internal battle. So it's it's something that, you know, you okay, you can get away with it, but you're gonna have to pay in eternity.

SPEAKER_00 45:02

Can a serial cheater become the most faithful and loyal person by the side of the right woman or man?

SPEAKER_01 45:11

Is it true?

SPEAKER_02 45:12

So I am a believer that I'm a believer that the pendulum for these very intense and kind of the manosphere, even these types of men can swing so far to the other direction. It is beautiful, but guess what? It is so rare, and also it has nothing to do with the woman, nothing to do with the woman in their life. It has everything to do with them and their journey. It has to be a personal awakening, a personal, complete overhaul of their life. It has to be. And it and it can be. Absolutely. There is redemption. I'm a big believer in redemption. I've seen redemption stories of men that were the, you know, I I won't say names, but they were bait, they they were like world-renowned like playboys, quote unquote. And then they had something happened in their life. Usually it's a traumatic event that happens. Something traumatic occurs and it shakes them, shakes them to their core. And they realize that the way that they have been living is this is not producing the fruits of peace, the fruits of, you know, yes, financial success, great, but that can come and go very quickly. But that internal peace. So I I have seen literally, I mean, I, you know, one day, one day when I, you know, when I what and the thing is, my contracts are in perpetuity, they never expire, um, unfortunately, but like the transformation of this one bachelor that we matched from that, like, and then when he came to us, he had swung and he was like in this new stage of his life. And I didn't, I I kind of didn't buy it initially. And but my, and I have pretty strong discernment. Like when I meet people just because I've been doing this for so long. I, but in my discernment, there was, I was like, no, this guy is for real. Even though my mind was saying, no, no, no, that's impossible. What are you talking about? He's renowned for being this kind of person. And I have been proven my my intuition was right in the sense that he is now happily married. They are a power couple, and he's faithful, he's a man of God, and it's just beautiful. So it's very possible for a strong, like because those people on either side of any anytime there's anybody with a very strong voice, strong conviction, they they're strong in their conviction, but they can also switch to the other side and be in that way. So it's beautiful, but it has nothing to do with the woman. The woman could be perfect, it has nothing to do, and he could still cheat on her every day.

SPEAKER_00 48:09

Every day. Yeah. What is in this case the surrounding? Uh I would like to say both for men and women, but mostly for men, the surrounding, the friendship group, the close group that they are in, what what role does it play? Because uh, from what I know, is when you're in a group of other males who are either unmarried or is a tradition and a way of demonstrating their masculinity to cheat, you are becoming the outlier for not cheating on your wife or girl girlfriend or or whoever you have. So what does that surrounding do? Are there men that are like not immune to this? And what do you what does a woman do in that case?

SPEAKER_02 48:50

It is the studies, the research, and the science of a human being, but especially a male's friend group, is wild. It is wild. If one man cheats in a friend group or two men are cheating in a friend group, all of them are. Yeah, it's it's it's uh contagious. Okay. So the the men, the successful men, not just financially successful men, the truly successful men are so selective with who their friend group is. And you hear this CEOs talking all the time about how I forget exactly what I was watching a podcast and I forget who it was, but he said if he finds out that a man is cheating on his wife, he's not gonna do business with business. Exactly. Yeah, I think we have watched the same thing. I have that is so telling and it is so real because if a man cheats in small things, he's gonna cheat in big things. If a man is is um uh uh tells little lies, he's gonna tell big lies. Um, the best predictor of the future is the past, is their behavior. Behavior is a language. That is how they're experiencing and going about life. Um, but it and it is, it is contagious. Men have to be so careful about this. And guess what? So do women. Because even though in my brain, you know, I always think of cheating just because of my, you know, I guess my even my female friend group and all of that, I think of cheating as this male thing because I can't even imagine a majority of my girlfriends ever being disloyal or unfaithful and the bachelorettes that we're working with, like I can't even fathom it, but it's a big deal in certain groups, but it's in certain groups and it's contagious. So absolutely the studies are crazy about this. Even with obesity, it's somebody um, so some some researcher did a study about if one of your friends like is obese, the likelihood that the rest of the group is going to become obese is like raised by, I forget what the number is, a crazy percentage. And I was like, oh my gosh, and you know, all my friends are on Ozempic and andor pregnant. So, you know, good, good, good news. We're not good news. I'm the I'm the one that eats all the desserts in the group. But, you know, um, but yeah, it's just it's wild. Friends are so we're influenced. They're our most it they are our most impactful influencers. Yes, online influences us. Our friends are so influential.

SPEAKER_00 51:37

Yes, exactly. That's what I have been always saying. Not only in all not only in terms of cheating, like who you're surrounded with determines who you are going to become in the long run. And it matters about food habits, about like relationships, etc., etc. So yeah. You have been working with people who have been cheated on. You have matched people. For example, a person comes to you, uh, his or her previous relationships, they have been cheated on. Yeah. Is working with them any different than working with the person who has not?

SPEAKER_02 52:09

Yes, it is different. It definitely is different. Um, there is a um a more heightened sense of impending danger that these women feel, um, and even that these men feel. Um, but it's more than likely, you know, most of the women, most of the, if there's a a woman that's coming in, it's more than likely I've heard more women have that experience of being cheated on versus men, but I'm not saying, but it definitely does happen. It definitely does happen for men. Um but yeah, I mean, I think that for the women, it's their their priorities look different when we're talking to them in matchmaking. Like I have one client, or I had one, we had one client. She wasn't my personal client, but I remember she was just the sweetest, the sweetest girl you would ever meet. She was just so like girly and precious and successful, but like just was like the full package. And she genuinely wanted family. And she was, I think like 33 at that time, 34, and she had been dating this man, and then they were about to get engaged only to find out that he was cheating on her, left, right, and center. She got messages from this uh the the guys, uh, one of the girls, blah, blah, blah. All wild. So this poor girl, and not poor because she was, you know, she she was down, but she got herself back up. She shook herself off and she said, What did I do wrong in that relationship? And she said, I didn't listen to my intuition because she, they always say this. All the women always say, they always say, I knew, I knew something was off. I knew his phone was down, he would get really weird about his phone, you know, that he would go missing, like, you know, not missing, missing, but a couple hours here and there. He would, you know, something was off the energy. And and studies have also shown that you can actually sense somebody's, if somebody is being dishonest or being um, or like you can sense a cheater because their adrenaline level is so high. So if you're, if you're coming in, there you can, you can sense it, you can smell it, you can all of this. Like you, we all we're all like basically mind readers and body readers, but we just that's our intuition to choose not to listen to pay a very high price for that. Exactly. But she came to work with us, and I I will never forget, she said she's looking for a man that is fiercely loyal, fiercely loyal. She said, that is my number one thing. She said, I don't care if he is a billionaire. I don't care if he's the best personality, the best looking guy, whatever. Number one, fierce loyalty. And how is he showing that? How is he acting that out in his life? Um, so that was really a big deal when we were, when we were asking questions to these men. We, you know, have one of the questions we always ask is, have you ever cheated in a relationship before?

SPEAKER_00 55:19

Will we be honest enough with that?

SPEAKER_02 55:21

A lot of men are very honest with matchmakers because they are there's and if they're not honest, I'm a human lie detector. So I like, I'm like, wait, really? Like, I'll ask, I'll ask. And the other ladies are really good too. But I've just studied body language and we have a body language expert, Mark Edgar Stevens. I'm name dropping, he's amazing. And I've learned a lot from him over him working with so many of our clients over almost 14 years. And um, but yeah, I mean, but I will say, like, for whatever reason, working with a matchmaker, it's kind of like it's like a truth serum because we make it a very like cozy environment for them where it's a non-judgment zone. Like we just want to match them with someone that's and we need to know. Yeah. And if like if loyalty is on the low, it's not a big deal. There's also like an listen, I am a strong Christian woman. But if and and if a man comes in, he's like, yeah, I'm not, yeah, I'm not loyal, like, but yeah, I've cheated before, like it's not a big deal. Be in a polyamorous relationship. There's literally a polyamorous matchmaker. We'll refer you over. It's fine. I mean, is it for my in my personal, you know, my personal moral compass and value system? It's completely unaligned and I think it's horrific. But at the same time, if that's what you want to do, it's 2026. Work with a polyamorous matchmaker, be polyamorous, be honest about it. If you're incapable of being loyal, that's fine. Just be honest and open about it. So all of this to say, you know, no non-judgment. And also like go to therapy and you know, just be better, do better, do better, you know, anyway.

SPEAKER_00 57:14

But women women cheat as much as men do. They are just very good at hiding it. I have heard this so many times. Challenge this.

SPEAKER_02 57:23

I people, I okay. The studies have shown that men cheat more than women. I that's what the studies have shown. I also I am maybe because women are hiding it better. Yeah, maybe because women are like, no, no, no. But I, yeah, I yeah, I I really it's hard for me to speak on just because we haven't really, I mean, we've had some men that have expressed that they've been, you know, cheated on before. Oh, quite a few of them that we have. So yeah, it's common. It's common for both men and for women. And I think though, for men, it's about selecting. Um, it's about partner selection. It really is. It's about partner selection and how is a woman living her life? What are her values? What are her morals? You know, is she how is she behaving? It's it's it's a yeah, but we we ask those questions.

SPEAKER_00 58:24

Yeah. I want to speak about the gold digger accusation. A man meets a beautiful woman, a wonderful person, nice emotional support, etc. etc. All the above that you mentioned. The man is successful, he earns a lot, and he immediately starts to question her motives. Where and what did go wrong for us women to be in that position of gold diggers?

SPEAKER_02 58:53

Yeah, I you know, I think that the gold digger accusation comes when there's no gratitude. I rarely see it when a woman is expressing extreme gratitude. And I think that there are women that are only looking for a man with financial success. There are. There are a lot of them, and I can spot them from a mile away. But I also think that for the women, if there's nothing wrong with wanting a man that is financially successful, I think it's, I think it's the bare minimum to when a woman is in the dating, is dating, the bare minimum is finding a man at a really great place in his career. That's essential. That's the foundation. If a man's career is not in a really good place, he doesn't have to be a multimillionaire, doesn't have to be a billionaire, but if it has to be in a really solid place because that's the foundation, and men are like houses. If the foundation is not built, and for all so many men, many, many, many men, the foundation is career and faith as well. Faith is really good. Faith is the, you know, the under the foundation, but foundation is career. Then and only then can they start building that first floor and building that, you know, building the second floor, building the pool house, building this, this, this, this, this. They can't start thinking about that though, if they have not built their foundation of success in their career. So that being said, there's no shame to a woman that wants to date a successful man. I love that. Of course, that's a good, amazing. We have been told that the man is a provider. Yes. Yes. And I, and I am very old school. I very much believe in, you know, old school, the man is, you know, he's he's the protector, he's the provider, all of that. But the problem is with a lot of women, they are then not giving gratitude. They're they're just expecting, you know, like a man, you know, you know, gets her something beautiful for her birthday. And she's yeah, it's just like, oh, yeah, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:18

Why is it red? I want it black. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:21

How ungrateful. Like most men have worked really hard for their success. And they want a woman that recognizes that. And that is gonna set a woman apart from a girl that is beautiful, that, you know, thank you. Yeah, exactly. I want to be a good one.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:39

Just because she's beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:41

Yeah, like that looks fade very fast, very fast, very fast. And that so I think that uh a woman that is entitled, entitlement, and lacking gratitude, I think those are the two um elements that when a man is like, oh, she's a gold digger, they're actually saying she's ungrateful and she is entitled. That, you know, because there's there's nothing wrong with a woman wanting a man that's successful. There just isn't. Um, but there is something wrong if she is entitled and not grateful.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:18

What is the difference between the gold digger and the woman who knows her worth? And like you, you mentioned you can't spot the gold digger from a mile away, but the men, can they distinguish one from the other? No, no, no idea.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:34

That's why they hire us. They have no idea. They're like, oh, this is a good idea. No. Um, I mean, I think that the big difference between a gold digger and just a woman that really knows what she's bringing to the table, I think is um, I think is is her is humility. I think that's a really big, I think that's a big, a big thing. Um, I think it's humility. I think it's a woman that is um self-sufficient. I think self-sufficiency is essential. Um, a woman absolutely needs to be able to support whatever lifestyle that she is in. Um, if she's living beyond her means, it's time to take a step back, um, reel it all in. Um, because there is never ever, ever a time where a woman should be, unless she's married with children, um, but there's never a time where a woman should be solely dependent on what men are bringing into her life. Um, that I think is a recipe for that creates the way to build a gold digger, quote unquote, is somebody that is solely reliant on the men that are, that are funding her life. Um, so I think that a woman needs to be self-sufficient um financially, living within her means. And then any man that comes in, it's like the icing. It's like the, it's the, the, the cherry on top. It's not that, oh, she needs a man to pay her rent or to, you know, to pay for her car or to pay for this. That's not a that's not a match, that's an escort. So we don't, you know, we don't, we don't do that. We don't do that. And there's nothing wrong that to say, I'm not saying that a man, if a man comes into a woman's life and is like, wow, I love you so much. I don't want you to worry about anything. Like, you know, um, I, you know, your car, I just paid it off or whatever it is. I, oh, you know what? This apartment that you've been paying for, guess what? It's paid for the rest of the year. That's there's nothing wrong with that, but it shouldn't be that you're depending. And I know there's a lot of movements of these women, especially online, the high value women, high value men um energy. I do not ascribe to what these women are teaching of um of of basically like using men as an ATM machine and being very manipulative, very focused on getting financial from these men. That's that's that's horrific. That's absolutely that is the most repulsive thing to a man that the type of man that a woman needs in her life, a loyal man, a man of value, of virtue, that is the the the that kind of woman is going to repel a good man, a successful man, a good man. The women, though, that attract that kind of man are so they're they're self-sustaining, they have their own lives, they have their own, you know, that they don't have to be billionairesses. That's not at all, but they have to be able to sustain without the assistance of a male.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:38

I I I I share your uh opinions totally. Um, you have matched A-list celebrities. I know you have the NDAs, you cannot mention any names, but I what I want to know is what it is that they lack in their relationships that they cannot say publicly. And because we have seen so many celebrities get together and And then the breakup follows like one month or two later. What makes them come to you and what it is that they are lacking that they cannot tell on camera?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:09

I think with you know, with people that are in the public eye, they're facing very different challenges. But at the same time, love is the great equalizer. So I think, and I know for a lot of women that are in the public eye, um, they're not getting approached. You know, they a lot of men, and I think generally speaking in our society, one of the issues is that men are not approaching women. And they're the and the the guys that are approaching women tend to be, you know, the the guys that approach every woman. And they're not exactly the best guys that you want to be, you know, in relationships with because they're really good at approaching women. They're really good at, you know, solidifying that um, that, you know, the first initial courtship. Um, but I think that with female celebrities, they're facing different challenges. Um, they are getting a lot of DMs from random men. Um, they don't know who's who. There's so much riffraff. There's just so much riffraff. They don't know if, you know, there's so and especially with AI, you don't know if this is what is real. You don't know what is real. You don't know. And somebody could have, you know, uh amazing photos like driving one of these fabulous cars. And it could be, you know, a scammer.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:35

Can't be the driver.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:36

Yeah, it could be literally be the driver. Oh my gosh, the worst. Um, that was in, remember, that was in um the that amazing movie, the Steve Harvey movie. Oh, what was it? The um uh act like a lady, think like a man. I don't know if you remember it. It was that was such a great movie. But um, and Steve Harvey, like, what a genius. Like, what an amazing, oh, love, love what he has to say. But um, but yeah, I so women are dealing with more they're they're they don't know who's you, they don't know what's what. They, you know, they're not, they don't want to meet a guy over, you know, Instagram. They don't only want to meet, you know, men that are actors or, you know, reality stars or um any of that. They want to meet men that are, you know, successful professionals. A lot of these women, and those are the ones that are actually going to succeed. The marriages that are not too um, yeah, sometimes, you know, you do get two people that are in the public eye and amazing. They work so well. Uh, but they're that's but then there are other, you know, others, and I personally have a bit of a, you know, reputation for matching more of the um I love the businessman with a, you know, with a female celebrity. I love that. I love that energy. Oh, yeah. I would much rather have that than, oh, he's a model, oh, he's an actor, he was just in this movie. Yeah. Well, um, and then with the men, the male celebrities, it's, you know, they are, there's a lot of isolation, I think. Um, not I think, I know there's a lot of isolation because even with even the nature of my meetings with, you know, if if a if a male celebrity is really an A-list celebrity, I go to their home. Like I have to, you know, I'm I they have everything come to them. So they're not leaving their very small empire that they've built. And so, you know, if they go on a dating app, the one that's, you know, for celebrities, yeah, there are a few celebrities on there, but it's like the same people that are always on there. So they don't want to date those same people that are always on there. So they want somebody to vet that, to vet these women. Also, women look completely different in their photos than they do in person. And so we had a guy, we had a male um celebrity, very like household name, celebrity, male. And he would show me these. He was like, listen, I, you know, I didn't think I would need a matchmaker. He's like, my DMs are full. Okay. He showed me all of his DMs and he's like, but guess what? I made the mistake of trying to meet these women. And he's like, This woman, she like in person, and he showed me a picture that he took with her in person because she wanted to take a picture with him. And he was like, Do you see it was a completely different person? Like it was it was jarring. It was jarring for him. So everybody has a different thing, but bless.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:45

There is a person right now watching the episode that is either disappointed from their past relationship or is desperately looking for love but not find finding it, or in a situation that they decided that I'm not doing this anymore, I'm better off single. So, to every person watching this right now, what would you, as a person who has been in this matchmaking for 14 years, almost 14 years, what is your advice to them?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:11

Yes, I mean, my advice is clear the train track. Your love life is like a train station. And if you have a train in there, even if it's a broken down, dilapidated train, like if it's if there is somebody in there in the station, the Polar Express could be right behind. Okay, but if you have something in there that's broken down, that's dilapidated, you need to allow that train to go. You don't even know where the train is going. Let it go, make room and make space because literally the Polar Express could be right behind. And I also have just seen in all of these years, if somebody really desires to be in a relationship, they're going to be. So it's almost like a lot of a lot of our clients that when we have a success, I always say to them in like a closeout meeting, I always say, I wish we could have told you this, like where we are, how excited you are about this woman, how excited you are about this man, how this person just fits so much of what you are looking for and and has even more than you didn't even know that you needed. I wish we could have told that person that we started working with six months ago, eight months ago, whatever it is. And I wish we could have just said that to them. So I would say that to that person that it's very possible you might have to invest, you might have to outsource this element of your life. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So if you've been doing the dating apps, if you've been trying to meet women in person or men and it's just not working, matchmaking is a great way to go. And if it's not with matchmakers in the city, our firm, there are great other matchmaking companies that we happily refer out if we don't think we can work with somebody. Or if somebody comes in and they're in Alaska and they only want to meet matches in Alaska, we don't You cannot do that. Yeah, we don't have Alaska. Like it's fine. We'll refer them to another matchmaker. So yeah, yeah, it's possible.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:23

I can go on for another two hours. Yes, but let's do the following. If I get a lot of comments and I I can sense it that I'm not going to get a lot of comments, we'll do a part two. My last question for now. After being for 14 years, after being so close to people finding their love, how did those 14 years make you more sure that the love exists?

SPEAKER_02 1:13:47

Oh, that's a that's a long no. Uh love exists. True love exists. Love exists 1000%, but love is a verb. Love is a verb, it is not a noun, it is an action, it is a choice, it is a daily choice. Feelings, the feelings of butterflies, the feelings of excitement that crush, the feeling of a crush. There's nothing better. I wish I could bottle it up. And I mean, like, you know, when you have a crush and you're just over the moon about somebody, there's no better feeling. Like everything is just lights up. It's so beautiful. And I'm not saying that studies have shown that, yes, that changes, but it doesn't mean that it's dead. It just means it's changing form and it's evolving into a different kind of love. And so I so believe in love, but love enough, love itself is not enough to sustain a relationship. It's work, it's loyalty, it's dedication, it's communication, it's respect. It is, it is that it takes so much effort on both ends. Both people have to be 100% in. Otherwise, if it's not, you know, it's it's it's so easy to get it's so easy for love to fail. It just is because a lot of people are lazy, but not, you know, I feel like not your listeners because they're probably a successful group.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:22

That's what I think. They're tenacious.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:24

But that's why it's like they're tenacious. They're tenacious in their work, they're successful. You know, a lot of the people we work with were like, this is great. And why it works so well is that they know work ethic, but they don't think they're like, well, it should be easy, blah, blah, blah. No, you have to work. And once they realize that they're like, oh, I have to work, okay, I can work. I'm amazing at working. I'm a worker bee. Great. Okay, done. Great. What do I have to do? Tell me. And then we're like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:51

Done. Thank you so much, Alessandra, for this. And thank you for watching.