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What We've Learned So Far
Women, wizened by experience, presence, and attention, gather to discuss topics of depth in a world deeply in need of softer, fiercer, clearer perspectives.
What We've Learned So Far
Worthiness
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What We've Learned So Far gathers a group of wise women around life's big questions and everyday experiences. We explore what we're learning about life, relationships, purpose, community, and what it means to be human in a rapidly changing world.
Listen, subscribe, share, and join the conversation. We'd love to hear what YOU’VE learned so far.
In this episode our wise women explore Worthiness. And these are some of the questions we've posed to ourselves:
- What does it mean to be worthy? What does it mean to be unworthy?
- Who taught us about worthiness?
- Must we earn what we’re worthy of? Or is it intrinsic to our nature?
- How does one move the needle from a state of unworthiness to worthiness?
Our panel of wise women:
- Kay Eck (This Episode’s Moderator): kayeck.com
- Joan Advent: joanadvent.com @joanadvent7171 (YT) @joan.advent (IG)
- Meggan Riley: megganemily.com
- Lesa Spravka: lspravka@yahoo.com
- Lisa Stokke
- Banya Lim
Video Production by Cyber Citrus Creative: https://www.instagram.com/cybercitruscreative/
Music and Performance by Keith Hill: https://www.instagram.com/khillcorp/
Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. This is what we've learned so far. I mean, I've always known that it's played a big role in my life, but I was having a hard time like getting my arms around it. So I'm I'm uh looking forward to sharing this hour with you all to learn a little bit more about it. So let's get started, beautiful panel. I will ask each of you to introduce yourself and tell us um a little bit about what you're working on right now. Megan.
SPEAKER_02Hi everyone, my name is Megan. I'm signing in from Northwest Arkansas. Right now, I'm actually working on participating in a day retreat here. So it'll be the first uh public sort of offering that I make in this new community, this new space that I call home. And um, we're presenting a workshop on the chakras, which is is awesome. I love doing the chakras. It's been years since I did an isolated workshop, but I'm responsible uh for the throat and the third eye. And we move through this, like um, everybody, you know, takes different chakras. And so I get the throat and the third eye, and we're going to sing, of course. So I'm working on that syllabus, that agenda right now.
SPEAKER_04Oh, that's awesome. Wonderful. I hope you get a good turnout. Lisa Spravka.
SPEAKER_03Um what was the question? Where are you coming from and what are you working on right now? Oh, um, I'm still in Texas, and um I'm getting settled into a new place here. And um I'm really studying and learning a lot about the subconscious mind.
SPEAKER_04Yahoo.
SPEAKER_03That's fun.
SPEAKER_00Banya. Hi, um I'm in Sedona, Arizona. I am um working on um two things. Working on my uh current work within acupuncture practice, and the other part is um coaching for spiritual entrepreneurs to create wealth and leadership.
SPEAKER_04Beautiful, thank you. Lisa Stokey.
SPEAKER_01I'm working on I've been going down some rabbit holes on minerals, which sounds kind of boring, but it really isn't. Um, I guess it's kind of it ties in with a lot of my work that was in, you know, food system, you know, advocacy and policy and things like that, and just taking a much deeper dive on um, you know, like what the impacts are of missing minerals. I'm looking right now at this book and talking with this researcher who was able to overlay the um, you know, the genetic code with the I Ching and specific minerals and amino acids and a specific vertebrae in our body. So I've been going down some rabbit holes with him lately. Um, because yeah, because I'm working on uh getting my garden kit out to the world so people can remineralize their food and grow nutrient-dense food.
SPEAKER_04Awesome. That's beautiful. We'll have to make sure to link you up in the in the comments so people can find you in your kits. And I love the topic of minerals. I feel like once I addressed my minerals, like health started to fall into place. And I guess it's the same with the land, right? Like you know Absolutely, yes. Wonderful. Thank you. I look forward to learning more about that. And how about you, John?
SPEAKER_05Put me on the waiting list for the the kid. Oh, yay. I'm Joan Advent, and I'm in the Richmond, Virginia area. And as a good manifesting generator, I have lots of things I'm working on. One of which is my uh upgrading my website or updating my website. Also, um, I have a new uh solo podcast called The Crone Codes, and I'm working on a special Mother's Day edition uh for that. And I wanted to share related to our topic, I've been diving deep into Megan Waterston's book, The Girl Who Baptized Herself. It says how a lost scripture about a saint named Thekla reveals the power of knowing our worth.
SPEAKER_04So it's that's crazy because my brother-in-law just recommended that book to me.
SPEAKER_05It's blowing my mind and touching my heart. And I highly, I highly recommend it.
SPEAKER_04I love that. Oh, that sounds like a good summer read. We'll put that we'll put and also I highly recommend Joan's podcast the crone codes. It's it's not just for crones, it's for really, you know, anybody um going through the the journey of femaleness or something like that.
SPEAKER_05The wise woman journey at all stages. The wise woman journey at all stages.
SPEAKER_04Perfect. Thank you. We don't get to cronehood by skipping over all the other parts. That is so so true. Thank you so much. Okay, so let's dive into our worthiness topic. I'm Kay, I'm from Sedona, or I'm in Sedona, I should say, and um I'm working on getting my book, Land Sister Sky, to the bookstores into readers' hands, and it's taking forever, as usual, much longer than I anticipated, but that's just the way it goes. So anyway, looking forward to that. So, okay, so I want to ask each of you what we are talking about when we are talking about worthiness. And is it just me who finds that it's way easier to determine to define unworthiness than it is worthiness? So I'm gonna go in reverse order. Let's start with Banya.
SPEAKER_00About about worthiness?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, what are we talking about? What is this topic? What is what does worthiness mean? What does it mean to you?
SPEAKER_00I I think the worthiness kind of it changes throughout our lives. Um, is it we are we worthy to receive love? Are we worthy to receive education? Are we worthy to right now? I'm very much focusing on are we are we worthy to receive wealth? Um I found out so many of us, including myself, have so much preconception around money and wealth and having abundance, um, especially those people who practice spiritual, you know, uh wealth spiritual, and we have a misconception of if we're spiritual, this is something that we shouldn't strive, strive for. But I feel like this is the very important part of our growth and our evolution. And I think through this, we can be able to grow tremendously, learning about us and also learning about our relationship to it, because our ultimately, one of the neuroscience that talked about our relationship to money is our relationship to our parents and what we want to receive from them. And I don't know exactly, I don't know if I really completely agree with that, that applies to everybody, but I think create a sense that that I think there's certain aspect that it is true, and it is about the relationship with our first caregivers, but also the first what we want to actually want to receive from them, and that kind of move to our relationship with the money. But anyway, there's many different things that I'm working on and developing and asking questions, and um talk trying to figure out are we worthy? And I absolutely believe we are, and I'm trying to understand why we don't believe that we are worthy enough to receive, because the nature, the universe wants us to have everything there is, and I think that's true spirituality.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's I mean, oh that's I mean, that's so beautiful, and I I think that you should lead a panel chat on the subject of wealth because wealth and abundance, and because I feel like everybody has an issue with that. And part of I think the the issue is that we don't understand where we where money comes from. We don't understand where wealth comes from. We think it comes from the bank or work or you know some other thing, and it and it it comes through these channels, but it doesn't come from these channels. It like you hinted at, maybe it comes from the universe, maybe it comes from source. And so exploring your relationship to that is probably more going to lead you in that direction than studying your relationship with your job or your, you know, your purpose. So that that's really interesting. I look forward to that to more about that. Megan, how about you? What is what are we talking about when we're talking about worthiness?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I always reflect on the on the literal. Uh, and so in terms of almost like defining it, it's like, you know, are we are are we are we included? Am I good enough to participate? Am I invited, right? Um, do I get to sit with the crew and be a part of the crew and do the things that the crew's doing, right? So I feel like there's a lot of um um having to present yourself, having to show up on the scene and present yourself. And this is in human-to-human interaction because worthiness is not limited to our interactions with human. But it's like worthiness, is it is it deserving of of respect? Is it deserving of presence? Is it deserving of um uh this creation that I'm making, right? Or that is being made. Uh, those those are the things that that have come to mind when I'm trying to define worthiness.
SPEAKER_04Wow, okay. Interesting. That's like thinking something in my mind, like a whole new section. A whole new section. Lisa Stokey, how about you?
SPEAKER_01Talk to us about worthiness.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01Well, I'll I'll start by saying I texted Kay a couple days ago and I'm like, I'm like, I already feel like an imposter coming onto this panel to talk about it. Um, but you know, of course, it's been it's been a really wonderful medicine, you know, just bringing this up, you know. I mean, we we've talked about it before, you know, Kay, you and I have. Um, but you know, feeling like I had to have some kind of answer, you know, really kind of made me jump in more. And I sort of made a a conclusion, if you will, I don't know if conclusion's the right word, but my nature is to just boil down, boil down, boil down, boil down, right? Like, and then compare those things to what I know to be as truth, you know, like in the in the deeper sense. Um, you know, universal principles and and our divinity. And um that was really kind of what I came to was that I feel like this this concept of worthiness, if you will, is something that um you know belongs in that paradigm of duality, you know, because it's either you're worthy or you're not worthy, right? It's it's this or it's that. But I feel like when we we really know who we are, what I am, right? I am that I am, um which is divinity, these divine and timeless beings that we are, then worthiness is really kind of it's a bit of a moot concept, right? Like I don't think it's something that our souls necessarily wrestle with. It's more of a human thing, right? And and and in and in saying that, like all of these concepts that live within the space of duality in the the third-dimensional time matrix are are for opportunity for evolution. So that's kind of what I think.
SPEAKER_04Beautiful, thank you. Joan, can you share your thoughts on opening thoughts on worthiness?
SPEAKER_05Yes, I can. I appreciate everything that's been named, the belonging that Megan brought up and the financial worthiness and the spiritual worthiness. And the the words that come to me uh are birthright and shame as kind of the two ends of the spectrum. And and I don't think we can examine worthiness without considering culture or over culture, uh, because I do think that worthiness has been whether it's weaponized or um just used as a control mechanism forever. I mean, not forever, not necessarily in indigenous cultures, but certainly from Roman times and as I'm reading this book, uh, the whole premise of like spiritual authority over ourselves, you know, like the right to claim who I am, um which I see as a birthright, and similar to what's been said about the soul isn't necessarily wrestling with worthiness, but as we come into this dimensional reality, that whole sense, I think there is an arc of a journey to claim our worthiness. And I I want to name uh one of the experiences that has been central to me in my own journey with this, because I grew up with a lot of misogyny and the denigration of the feminine and the perceived lack of worth of the feminine was um there's a statue by Donatella called the Penitent Magdalene. And if you want to get pissed off, I'm gonna go look at it because it's um enraging, frankly. Um so for me, this symbol of spiritual authority in terms of knowing who I am, what I'm here to do. Um and then to have that cast as one who needs to be penitent, which in my eyes goes to unworthiness. Um it speaks volumes.
SPEAKER_04Wow. I like I'm gonna try not to get sidetracked by the heartbreak of those words. Like it just like hit me like a ton of bricks. Um, but you you point out nicely, like all our panelists have pointed out nicely, is how this subject of worthiness has both a pragmatic everyday life uh manifestation and then also a spiritual manifestation of the highest order, of the absolute highest order. So that's kind of what we're talking about today. It's a big topic. Lisa Spravka, how about you?
SPEAKER_03Um, I was so um excited to hear everyone's perspective on this because I I didn't realize until Lisa said that I am I am totally looking at the um in the duality. I'm I'm looking at worthiness in the duality. But I do think that when I when I just think of a a statement about it, I think it's an abstract measurement based on an outside evaluator. And um and that if we were never introduced to the word, we would think we were worthy. It would just be natural. Um and if you're gonna put words to it, you would say, I am worthy because I exist.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. Beautiful, thank you. Um I was gonna so you you kind of high pointed to something that I've been thinking about, which is the who. Like who who's the who's to say who is making these determinations? I mean, in in your experience, who's the who?
SPEAKER_03Are you asking me? Yes. Um, well, um uh I think it's uh entities that want to be able to control us and not want us to be in our power. Um and an example of that would be and that they use um how they know how our subconscious mind works, which is um when our subconscious is constantly evaluating the environment and looking for repeated uh items or or words or thing, because it knows that the safest place to be is in the big herd. So if it knows what most people are doing, it will it will conform to that. And I've been saying this for year, complaining about this for years, and I'm so excited that I get to talk about it right now. But if uh the Catholic Church has in their mass every week saying out loud in unison, I am not worthy, they people are gonna start to think I if I'm not worthy, I'm in the big herd and that's the safest place to be. So the the thing to do about that is reprogram yourself with mantras like um not worthy because that is inherent to unworthiness, but I'm enough, I've always been enough, I'll always be enough. Um, I love and approve of myself. And you do these things early in the morning and at night because you have most access to your subconscious brain.
SPEAKER_04Great, great. I I also feel like on a on a certain level, very early on, I I like the whole the Catholic Church is founded on the concept of unworthiness and that you have to literally earn your way back into the good graces of God. And this tormented me as a child. I could not um, you know, I was so cautious with my behavior and I always fell short. And um, you know, I would I would keep like this chart in my head of um, you know, good deeds, like trying to balance the scale of my inherent unworthiness. And um it got to to a point where it just seemed like a losing game. So unfortunately, I just tossed out not just the religion, but my relationship to to God and to the all that is. And so, you know, it's taken me a long time to find my way back to that. Um yeah, let's move. Thank you so much for all of that. Um, I I think in addition to these sort of cultural ways into this topic, there's also a very um there's a very interpersonal relationship with worthiness too. And I heard someone recently talking that even if your your parents never suggested to you that you had to earn your worthiness, if they felt unworthy, you would naturally understand that humans in general and you in particular are unworthy. So it's I think it's coming at us. From all sides. And I'm so interested in this topic because worthiness has been my core wound for this lifetime. And I am well familiar with all the insidious ways it shows up. And so that's kind of where I want to go next. Megan, if you could share with us, um, if you have grappled with the issue of will of worthiness, how does it show up in your life?
SPEAKER_02I have not grappled with this very much, to be quite honest. This is this is my larger struggle. When you um you wrote to us earlier and opened with that it's feels more natural for you to describe unworthiness. I'm exactly the opposite. I really struggle because um you some might say, because I'm an Aries. Like, you know, very like self-knowing, very self-aware. I've had to pull myself back from my extreme confidence many times in life. Um, and it my experiences of unworthiness are more like, oh, I probably shouldn't jump in this wedding photo right now. I'm not part of a family. You know, like I'm very um and I I'm I'm blessed in that. I have I'm very confident person. Um, and it did come, you know, I I I resonate with the Catholic, you know, I am not worthy. I I experienced that never, I never accepted it though. Um so so for me, where I have experienced, like, wait, stop, pause, am I worthy of this? It's usually when something hits me in the face that I am so reverent of that, like I am eye to eye with a buck deer right now. Like I there's nothing to do. You know, it's more that like, look at that beautiful flower, don't pick it. No, I'm not worthy of taking that, you know. So those are more of the the odd, not oddities, but the the less common ways that I've experienced it is almost always with animals or nature in these extreme moments of reverence. Um, and I think too, in a very practical way, because I have had a good filter of knowing where I should or should not interject myself, even speaking about things that I'm not knowledgeable, knowledgeable about, like I'll pass on that, or I'm not going to make up an answer to a question, you know. Um so I I think that answered it, but I've I've actually struggled more so in not in that unworthiness.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Well, good for you. Um but you bring up something interesting uh in that um, you know, when we're talking about worthiness, which we're hinting at it being intrinsic to who you are, it doesn't mean that you can have everything you desire or you can take whatever you want, that that you that you have a right to it. It doesn't mean that, does it?
SPEAKER_02No, and that's when I used the flower example, like, oh, wait a minute, like you don't need to possess everything, you know, because you're so worthy of it. But the I think the other in in a in a in a deeper sense, what I've what I've most recently struggled with is am I worthy of joy? Am I worthy of living heaven on earth? Am I allowed this extreme happiness when others are suffering, right? This is a human dilemma of the ages. And I have very recently been coming back and back over and over again as people call constantly asking advice. I said this many panel chats ago, that's kind of my purpose right now. I am giving free advice, like privately on the side to dozens and dozens of people. And it's because I did overcome this dilemma. Am I worthy of joy? Yes. And because I've designed my life this way. And when I look at folks that are struggling with it, well, how have you designed your life? Let's look at that. Because I have very intentionally designed my life. And here I here I am, oftentimes experiencing heaven on earth and joy amidst other people struggling. So I think that might be my greatest. Like, ooh, am I worthy of this? And how do I continue to hold ground, to hold this ground of joy when everything in me says, oh, maybe just do it very privately. And don't you know? But we need to spread it. We need to spread it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, because you're setting the precedent, so to speak, of like it's possible for me, it means it's possible for you. Okay, so Banya, would you talk to us a little bit about your relationship with worthiness in terms of you're now teaching this to other people? How did you find your way into this position of worthiness?
SPEAKER_00I really love Megan's energy. Um I I came from a very place of completely unworthy, and I had to really work on it to and work hard to be where I am. And there are times I still dip in deep into it once in a while, but I think it helps me to be more compassionate to other people and also relatable too in many ways. Um, but I yeah, my beginning of my my journey is completely unworthy, like not worthy of anything. I think that drove me to um uh to be um to have a clinical depression up until my grad school. Well, my grad school was the worst, worst time ever. And in my and physically also my body was also falling apart too. I remembered some of the conditions that I had at the time. I remember one of the doctors told me, like, even if you survive this period, because I was having a lot of flare-ups, so you're gonna be dealing with this for the rest of your life. And at one point I made a decision that, you know, my mom's an acupuncturist, and she's a spiritual healer, and I decided to really delve into that. Within three months, I did basically three things. I did regular acupuncture for my mom. I did regular daily meditation, three-third um movement exercise. Within three months, I got to I got to get, I got to heal myself completely. I remember when we're going back to the doctor, they told me, remember, you told me I have to do, I'm gonna have to deal with this for the rest of my life? Like I don't have any of this. That experience, I think, is catapult me to do everything that I'm doing right now. If it's possible for me, if I experience it even a physical level, but now even even monetary-wise, every every level, I would absolutely believe that everything is possible, but I think that the deeper element is I think the worthiness, me feeling not worthy at all, to believing and accepting, realizing and feeling that I am beyond worthy. Just being here and also also every other living being on earth. Um that of course that I had to go through many things to be where I am, but um, but I know what the opposite from this, because I experienced that so long in my life, and I value this this feeling, this experience, and that treasure just has savored this so much, even just a little bit of it. And this is what I want to share with the people. This is what I want people to feel, even just a little bit.
SPEAKER_04That's so beautiful. I want to take your course. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Um, I would like to ask Lisa um how your your relationship with worthiness, whether it was, you know, whether it's been cultural or familial or or religious or what whatnot.
SPEAKER_01Lisa Stokey, are you still with us? I was waiting for you to say which Lisa. Sorry. And then my cat jumped up in my lap. So um yeah, that's that's a really good question because that's exactly your spot on, because that's exactly what I was thinking. That um I feel like it's I feel like it's almost something that's developed more over time. Like I don't remember feeling that when I was young. Like, am I worthy or not worthy or whatever, right? Um and I don't I I don't know if you saw the little video that I put up, but that was kind of why with with some of the questions talking, you know, to um invite people to this chat. In it, I had a little video um of my granddaughter who's four. And it just I wanted to, I wanted to bring that aspect into it, right? Of us being children, because I I don't know that there's any of us would ever point to a child, right? And say, no, they're you know, they're not worthy, right? Or whatever, right? We can sometimes project that onto them with our actions, right? Um, but we wouldn't probably ever say that. So then it got me thinking, well, it's sort of like it comes in, like it's a learned behavior, right? Um, so I I I would say for me it has been more cultural. I feel like I feel like there's some rewards in society and in certain groups and in families and things like that for shrinking, you know. Um, and then you also don't have to be subjected to other things, you know, when you shrink. And I think that's probably where it's more shown up for me. Like I've I think I've just I think I have a tendency to be too much for people. Um my Aries is rising. That's in my south node, uh, Megan. Um, so I thought about that when you were talking. So that is really what I'm here um to do. I was just talking about uh my middle to my middle son about that this morning. It came up, you know, like what he was asking what mine was. And I was like, oh, well, it's Aries, you know, I'm here to do this, you know. So I think I think there's also some of that too, right? I mean, I recognize, you know, my divinity. And I've never I've never doubted that as a child. I've always known like kind of how this whole game was played, you know, like where it came from, where I was going, what was happening, you know? Um, but then yeah, we do come in to do the to do these certain things, right? And in that we gain. So that's been a part of that journey for me is um embodying that space. And I also believe that that we're really here. Um, you know, you're talking about, you know, just shining your joy, Megan. I believe that, you know, as we do that, we had that last talk about frequency, you know, that is the frequency and the resonance that we're here to bring in, right? And we alchemize and heal those things as we journey through those things and alchemize those through our being, right? We're alchemizing that not only for our family and our ancestry and our lineage and you know, all the things that we inherit, um, but also humanity. So I I just kind of see it like that was, you know, that was the thing that I signed up for or whatever, you know, when I came in and the family that I incarnated to and all the religion and all the things. So yeah.
SPEAKER_04Beautiful, thank you. I I mentioned earlier um about the you know that that worthiness has been a core wound of mine, and that there's so many ways that it can come into manifestation in your life. And I just want to mention one right here, and that is self-sabotage. And um I mean, this is this has been in, you know, you and anything that presents to the human being, whether it's love, safety, abundance, um, relationships, you know, all the things. Um, you know, I would get to a certain threshold in and career too. This was evident in my career as well. I would get to a certain threshold, and I and it was like a glass ceiling. I couldn't, I could not push any farther. And I would end up doing something to sabotage myself. Or, and sometimes this the self-sabotage was merely in my own mind. It was just the my limited thinking, my my my own, you know, keeping myself in a on a little glass dome, so to speak. So I just wanted to, but I I I want to ask Jane Um Joan because you mention mentioned shame, and I feel like this is this is kind of related to the to the self-sabotage. So can you talk a little bit more about the the role of shame and worthiness?
SPEAKER_05Sure. I did want to acknowledge what um Megan had been sharing and my sense that came through was related to like being in right relationship with life, you know, being in right relationship with others, with beings that are non-human beings, and um being humble in those ways. And I do think that the distinction between humility and shame, which um shame is often accompanies trauma and shame can also be weaponized and used as a means of control. Um I spent uh 16 years in Catholic school and many masses of of saying those words, which I'm not even gonna repeat over and over again. And it it it has a corrosive effect. Um it has a corrosive effect.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yeah. So if and if you think about it in terms of if we believe quantum physics that what we think becomes our reality, then when we think we're unworthy, because that's what we've been told. And I I love what Lisa said about the herd, because when everybody's feeling unworthy, it's like almost impossible to pop out of that, to to to bring that kind of attention to yourself. You know, like we're also you know, like people like to keep us tamed down, you know, like small, like Lisa said. Um, so um what was I saying?
SPEAKER_05I have something to say about that. And it has to do with Megan's statement about the the risk she was feeling in terms of of claiming joy for herself. And I think a lot about women and particularly like whether it's spiritual women or professional women, uh the the whole tall poppy syndrome. I'm I'm not British, but um just that whole concept of like clipping rather than lifting each other up, clipping each other off. Um and the the like who who do you think you are that you you have a right to be all that, have all that, live all that, love all that. And so that goes back to Lisa's statement about the herd, and just that internalized sense of lack of worthiness, or it being conferred through certain means, whether it's wealth or society, or you know, I think about the whole mean girl culture of um some group that determines you're worthy or you're not worthy.
SPEAKER_04So yeah, it it there's that um you know lost it. Sorry. Um okay, so Lisa Spravka. Um if oh I know what I was gonna say. Like um if we if we how do we pop out of this bubble that we're in? Um I I what Joan, what you were speaking to, um was kind of like we don't understand, we we've been taught that there's a finite amount of everything. There's a there's a finite amount of money, there's a finite amount amount of joy, there's a finite amount of friends, of you know, everything. And so it in that scenario, then we end up feeling like we have to one fight for it, and at the same time earn it. So I want to talk a little bit about that earning part because it affects so much of what how we conduct our daily lives. And so, Lisa Spravka, can you speak to that a little bit about this idea that we have to earn our worthiness?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I think that's um a futile attempt to do that, because I think when we think about um that we have to reprogram our subconscious mind, I mean it also takes courage, like what Megan was saying, that takes courage to be different than everyone else. It's it's just natural for us to want to be like everyone else. And um, so if you can own your courage, and um and I I would say just really reprogram yourself. Uh, don't try to earn it because you're inherently it, but just start speaking the truth into uh your divinity.
SPEAKER_04Beautiful, thank you. Banya, can you talk a little bit about how if if unworthiness is a state of mind or state of being, how does one move the needle toward more abundance and worthy? I mean, not even worthiness, to say that you're worthy of something means that there's some someone is judging where that line is or bestowing it upon you when it's actually just intrinsic to your nature. So how do you how do you move the needle on that?
SPEAKER_00I think for for me, for anything is about always about coming back in here. And whenever we leave here is where disaster happens. And during the time of me feeling unworthy, my focus was definitely all outside, and not only my sense of uh uh uh existence or value were determined by outside, but I also gave all the powers outside. Only when I start to come back in here, I start to feel things and notice things, and I think that's one practice that really worked for me, and I believe it will work for anybody. Putting the focus from here to in in here, and sometimes it takes a little practice, I notice. That definitely for me too, it took me quite a while. And when I start to bring the focus back in here, I start to uh build energy. You know, like you heard about energy goes where your mind goes. And there's a lot of statements that exist in the yoga practice and also uh some martial art practice. Literally, you lose energy when you focus on outside, you lose all your energy, like you don't have anything. So when you start coming back in here, you start building building energy. And I think I think that energy is what turns into um self awareness and confidence. worthiness and realizing who I who I really am. Um I don't know if that explains it, but it's it's about coming back in here. When I when you keep coming back in here, at least that was my own practice of building building that energy within me. And it was all about all out here to when I when I come back here. It doesn't mean that I don't care about what other people say I wasn't get I wasn't affected by what other people are saying anymore.
SPEAKER_04Yeah I I think that's so true that the the only way that you will understand your infinite nature is by going within. And within when you realize because nobody's gonna give that nobody can give that to you they they're they should be working on their own thing. But once you you know are able to see your infinite nature and the and the nature of reality that's when you start to access you know the the infinite of everything infinite abundance infinite love infinite joy um and we've had avatars and ascended masters who have taught that but they've been so you know such outliers that it it seems like oh that's a practice that you devote your life to and it takes you know 85 years in order to achieve it. But we're in a different time now where we're all you know all boats rise on the tide. And so we're together um you know entering into that that phase.
SPEAKER_01So I want to ask each of our panelists I'll and I'll start with Lisa Stokey um what what do you want people to know about abundance and I'm not even going to use the word worthiness anymore but let's say infinite what what do you want people to know about what they're capable of that's a really small question to ask what on earth oh wow um or what do you want to know about yourself let's start there um well the first thing that pops into my mind is when I was really little I would mention that earlier I remember trying to um get my brain wrapped around the concept of infinity like I spent years it was just it drove me mad actually um trying to get my brain wrapped around that um and the thing that I'm learning now about all of what you just asked is um refining that frequency and refining that resonance within me. I I get these um it's almost like I'm thinking about what Vanya just said um about you know it's like it being more of an internal game right and I've spent a lot of my life looking looking outward right because because of that worthiness thing right because we look for cues to be like okay am I okay am I doing the right thing am I you know irritating anyone am I no whatever to to tell me you know who I am am I bringing peace am I bringing joy am I doing this am I doing that right and and I guess that goes all along with that but what I what I am really learning to go along with what Banya was saying was about that that kind of that discipline which I mean that's not like a favorite word of mine ever but um I'm finding that that's really what is needed to be very mindful of of where my frequency is. I think that oh just because I'm not thinking I'm I'm not saying something or I'm not like expressing my face that it's not experienced. And I'm learning like it's almost like I'm laughing at myself like who are you kidding right so where's that that's where the kind of that discipline comes in right so to go along with your question of what you said about abundance that is actually something that I'm I'm working on as far as like exploring like what is that resonance of of abundance for me? Does it have to show up in some specific material way for me to recognize it and and if it doesn't is it just oh it's not there it's like no of course not so I really practice looking at at all the ways it shows up and I love to even surprise myself to be like oh I need this I need this thing right now. Might be some small little thing and honestly if I give myself like five 10 minutes I'll be like oh look that right there that'll work for that. And but it's kind of like when we're not in that resonance or that frequency of recognizing it, we won't see it even if it's right in front of us. Right.
SPEAKER_04And it always is that's really the riddle right yeah that I mean when you started out that really made me think of Jesus's teaching of being as a a child is the way into heaven is to is to be as a child. And you know there's there's some kind of relationship between um this and and the the word desire like children do not desire things that they don't see you know they they there's like this desireless state that fuels the abundance because it's all as you say right right there. And if you just not uh not recognizing it or or something I don't know children. I think children just watch children if you if you have any questions about anything just watch a child.
SPEAKER_02Megan what do you what would you like to to share with people about this topic I I'm going to have to um just sort of echo what we've heard a few times about going inward or um you know we've we've thrown out a few buzzwords such as like you know self-awareness self-knowing I think what I would like to leave people with is that you know the that process of getting to know oneself of going inward the journey is in why why do we always say that we don't say that so that we could just sit inside and hang out with ourselves and be alone the journey's inward so that we can offer outward right so what what what what's in there what's in there are your gifts it's your dharma it's your purpose and so so I think abundance comes through this self-work through this going inward through this knowing that I am enough that I am invited what am I invited to what is the abundance what are we even talking about we're invited to offer our gifts to create what we were put here to create for the collective and there's your duality right when when I'm alone I'm working on what my gifts are when I'm alone I'm accepting that I I I am worthy of a life of joy now I'm going to express this outward to the community so I think we we have known that that worthiness has been shared collectively when um when those involved are are giving their gifts into the communal we we you can give your gifts to yourself and that works for a little bit in terms of wellness practices you know self-care etc but it's really just poisoning us to have a purpose driven life very cliche but thank you thank you love that Joan can you help expand our view of what's possible for us simple question okay um well let's see what comes to mind first is because as I'm sitting here you can see behind me the trees which are beside me but they're also in front of me and surrounding me and I've said on other panel chats that being in nature and the natural world similar to what Megan was sharing and and Lisa Stokey certainly what she's working on in her whole um farm as I understand it knowing our knowing our place in the whole of life and I'm not gonna get the Bible quote right but something about the lilies of the field not toiling and and receiving all that they receive that they are looked after and remembering you know remembering our place in the whole which part of that is our contribution part of it is the uniqueness of what we each bring and that we're not here to live heaven on earth alone you know like we're here to do it collectively and to um raise each other up as you said those boats rising with the tide and it it is like an honor and a blessing and it does take courage and I would say it requires a cultivation of strength to hold a frequency of joy to be an outlier and a way shower and a forerunner in those ways to to claim that and to be a permission giver um to others and to say like hey everyone get on the boat you know like there's room on this boat for everyone so that's what comes to mind.
SPEAKER_04Thank you thanks for answering such a difficult question. Lisa what do you want us to know?
SPEAKER_03Lisa Spravka um I I I feel like offering my gifts is to be authentic about where I am what my journey looks like and I definitely I've kind of been using I real I'm always learning something new but I mean the whole spiritual uh journey has been out of a place of unworthiness so that I could become worthy but I'm at this time I'm really into beliefs what I believe and a couple years ago I had someone facilitate me into what my actual core beliefs are and and I would even think it was something and they they knew no that's not it we're not there yet but what it came down to was um uh that there's no point to my existence and it had to do something with like in the womb or whatever I adopted my parents they had their two boys they had their girl they didn't need another baby and and so I to align with them I adopted the belief that there was no point to my existence and um and so why this topic is so great because I need to turn that around and think that there is a real purpose for me to be here.
SPEAKER_04Beautiful thank you I just want to add that I think this the inner work is you know I I think that the the this topic is you know I do feel like our birthright is is joy and peace and I also feel that um you know this inner journey brings us into this place of peace and surrender with what is and what is isn't always pleasant. Um and I don't know what the relationship is to worthiness because you know obviously we're not meant to suffer but there's this this collapse of need and desire that is um that that creates this expansiveness and I don't know maybe that's a little too esoteric I'm not really explaining it very well but to to for me the this inner journey leads to that profound peace that profound safety that only that only resides within you when you're connected to um all the all that is God source whatever you whatever you want to call it and it's it's within that relationship that the I the issue of worthiness completely melts away so um anybody else have anything they want to add everybody good and complete all right thank you everybody for joining I just want to just say happy birthday Megan if it if you're an Aries I'm assuming somewhere around here it's your birthday yeah on the 16th thank you wonderful thank you everybody for joining us on this um topic and thanks so much for being here bye everybody