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What We've Learned So Far
Women, wizened by experience, presence, and attention, gather to discuss topics of depth in a world deeply in need of softer, fiercer, clearer perspectives.
What We've Learned So Far
Contentment
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What We've Learned So Far gathers a group of wise women around life's big questions and everyday experiences. We explore what we're learning about life, relationships, purpose, community, and what it means to be human in a rapidly changing world.
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In this episode our wise women explore Contentment. And these are the questions we've posed for ourselves:
- What is contentment? How does it show up in our lives?
- Who modeled or embodied contentment for us?
- How have our journeys with the energy of contentment changed or evolved over time?
- In a world that often seems consumed by thriving, striving, forcing, and achieving, how do we foster and nurture our contentment?
Our panel of wise women:
- Jade Orth (This Episode’s Moderator):
- Kay Eck kay@kayeck.com @kayeckwrites (IG) Kay Eck (FB) @kayeck1040 (YT)
- Joan Advent joanadvent.com @joanadvent7171 (YT) @joan.advent (IG)
- Ceres Ruzich:
- Lesa Spravka: lspravka@yahoo.com
Video Production by Cyber Citrus Creative: https://www.instagram.com/cybercitruscreative/
Music and Performance by Keith Hill: https://www.instagram.com/khillcorp/
Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. This is what we've learned so far. Welcome everybody to our panel chat with this distinguished panel of humans and pups. It's a beautiful night, a beautiful season to talk about contentment. And I just wanted to start by um telling everybody how we kind of came across this subject. So I happen to be on social media, and Jade posted a video of herself reading something that was I just found so beautiful. And um and that spurred the the topic for tonight. So I've asked Jade to moderate today and also to start us off by reading that passage from the Dao Te Ching.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. Thank you so much. So um I'm gonna go ahead and read it, and this is paraphrased from it. Picture a humble land with few people. Though modern machines exist, no one feels compelled to use them. Though ships and roads exist, no one feels compelled to travel them. Though swords and weapons exist, no one feels compelled to draw them. Instead, the people savor their meals, adorn themselves with simple garments, find peace in their homes and joy in their ways. They hear the clamor of other villages, but remain content to dwell where they are, living fully and dying contently.
SPEAKER_04Thank you so much. I I noticed that you took a deep breath and that exhale right before you read it. And I just felt like, oh, it's such a it's such a dropping in that that passage. So thank you so much for sharing with us that with us. And I would like to invite you to take the floor and lead us in our panel, chat on contentment.
SPEAKER_01Thank you so much, Kate. And I I love that you brought that up because even I was I was pondering this, I was asking, I always ask my body what something feels like. And so I asked my body, like, what is contentment in my body? And it was a hand of my heart and a deep inhale and exhale. So you like nailed that. Thank you. Um, all right, everybody. So I would love for um everybody to just maybe um go around and say your name or introduce yourself, and then um I'll kind of get into some questions uh I'd like to ask you guys. Does anybody want to start first? I'll start.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. I'm Kay, and um I'm so grateful when someone else moderates, to be honest. It so takes all the pressure off, and I get to uh participate in the conversation a little bit more. So I'm happy to be here from Sedona, Arizona.
SPEAKER_03Awesome. Thanks, Kay. I'll go. Um, I'm Lisa, I'm um coming out of San Antonio, Texas, and I love this topic because I've never really thought about it before, so I don't have any that I know of preconceived conceptions about it.
SPEAKER_01I love that, Lisa. Thank you. Coming in with a fresh perspective. I love that. Um anyone else?
SPEAKER_00Sure. I'm Sarith Rusich, um, and I am coming from Crestville, New Jersey. Happy to be here. I haven't seen some of you in a really long time.
SPEAKER_02And I am Joan Advent, and I am joined by Molly, my faithful and helpful companion. And we are in the uh mid-Atlantic, Virginia area.
SPEAKER_01Awesome, thank you. And I'm so glad Molly's here too. Every time I look at her little face, I'm just like, yay, um, awesome. Okay, so uh I want to first um, Cerise, I'd love to start this by asking this question for you. Um, and we'll probably get a couple more of you with the same question. But um, so first off, let's start it just with what is contentment to you? And furthermore, how does it show up in your life?
SPEAKER_00Um so contentment for me is is finding that equilibrium, you know, in my life where I feel safe and at peace. And that's when I feel content, and it can be, you know, with things that are going on in my life, or it could be within my body, you know, feeling that contentment. Um, so it does show up in different ways, and I'm learning to pay attention to it more and more now. So sometimes when life is really chaotic, you really can I can recite of where I'm at. Um and so you know, slowing down and paying attention to my breathing, for example, you know, is one way that I can you know see where I'm at and and check in um with myself. But from a from a young child, I think that I learned somewhere along the way that contentment was not something good. It was you should always be striving for something more and better. And so I think I've always had that in the back of my mind. So it's been about change it for me, changing that belief system in my relationship with contentment. Um, and and to really feel into it and understand that you know there's there's a peace uh fullness for me personally in that.
SPEAKER_01Thank you so much. I love that. I love when you were explaining it, it felt like kind of this dialing into this like getting slow and tuning into and paying attention to. And I love how you talked about, which we'll kind of get in the discussion with that later too, but how your relationship with it changed, and maybe, you know, over time, you know, it's something that was kind of had more of a negative connotation. And then now you're talking about words like peace and tranquility and like all those things where I'm like, well, that ain't bad at all, is it? But um, yeah, Kate, I'd like to ask you the same question. So, what is contentment to you and how does it show up in your life?
SPEAKER_04I I this is I I love this topic so much because my uh idea of contentment um has shifted so much. In fact, I think there's an enormous midsection of my life where I was not content at all. And I think that um, you know, certainly as a as a child, it it you don't quite have the awareness to um contemplate uh contentment. It um has more to do with getting your needs filled, and you know, it's almost like akin to satisfaction in those early years. And then I had this big midsection where you know you're building a family and you're starting, you're starting a career, you're building a family, and like Cerise said, like there's you're supposed to have drive and ambition and all of those things sort of cloud over the notion of contentment. And I think it's probably also aging uh has bolstered my sense of contentment. But what I've um what I how I would define it now is the absence of need or requirement, or like the Dao Ta Ching mentioned, the compulsion, like any sort of lack of perfection, you know, and and so I think it has come to mean more about the internal circumstances that I create within me that has more acceptance of the situation and I can be content even though things aren't exactly the way I want them. And it and and so, like I I was comparing it to satisfaction when I was considering this topic, and satisfaction seems to me to have this sense that something's happened, something's been done or completed or accomplished, and now I'm content. And so um I think that's the way I would have approached it in the past. And I have found that more and more what I've noticed is that right around dusk, when the day is coming to a close, I am often overwhelmed with contentment. And I I don't know, um, you know, good day, bad day. Um I think it's more about appreciating the gift of the day uh that I made it through the day. Um, I don't know, and that, and that evening is falling, quiet is falling, sleep will come, maybe. And um, yeah, so I just there's so much beauty in it. It's there's so much beauty. I just think of softness and and ease and grace and twilight, the gloaming, you know. Yeah, it's beautiful. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01Oh, thank you, Kay. I love that. And I love just even you walking us through the energy of when kind of dusk happens, and it's like, gosh, it's like that wave that you explained over that, where there's a lot of gratitude, it sounds like. And um, actually, you shared something so beautiful that my next question that I'll ask where um when we're children, you know, a lot of times people will be like, oh, that baby's so content because they're like full or they just napped or you know, their belly's full. So when you really shared with how you looked at that when you were younger with satisfaction or being your needs met, right? As to maybe now what it means for you, that is such a cool arc to see. Um, and how there's so many nuances with this, which um Lisa, I'd love to ask you. Um, kind of what we were talking about when you're younger, did you have any examples, either known or unknown, um, like looking back now of contentment or anyone in your life that really embodied it or kind of showed you that?
SPEAKER_03Um I did, I I can when you ask about what personal experiences, I didn't go back to childhood. I went back to or just earlier, which is um when I would fly, I lived in California and I would fly from Chicago to back to California and going with the sun like that, that gave me such a feeling of satisfaction. And I didn't really know why, but I it was, I think it had something to do with getting the sun longer. Um, but uh there was something I was gonna, oh so much of what Kay said, I I we I could talk about this for hours, but um when we I was first given this topic, I did think of my grandmother um who dressed really flat, you know, had very like floral dresses and loved to bake and loved to be around us. Um she seemed she seemed really content. Even um, you know, she she lived alone, but she didn't seem to like that didn't seem to bother her. She seemed to be completely satisfied with that, too.
SPEAKER_01No, I love that because even as I'm reflecting on that, um, you know, she was content and she was showing up, right? Like she was dressing in her florals, baking. She really liked to be around you. And I think that that kind of talks, touches a little bit about when we have it inside us, you know, when we have this um presence or this ability to really kind of radiate from the outside inside out. Um, I really love that. And I even just love feeling that energy that you're talking about with your grandma. So thank you so much for sharing that. And um, Joan, I I'd love to ask you uh the same question. So, you know, whether it's childhood or sometime in your life, um, you know, did you have examples of contentment or even someone that sticks out in your mind that you kind of look back and you're like, wow, they really radiated that energy of contentment.
SPEAKER_02Well, uh what I feel called to say is, and I've appreciated what everyone has shared, and it it really is like a dynamic living response to this. Um for me, uh contentment uh feels tied to very much like to states of flow, as well as like satisfaction as a um manifesting generator in human design. It's like satisfaction is is kind of when you know you're on the right track. And I remember being a little girl, and like I love flowers still to this day, and I love nature to this day, but like communing with the flowers or with these teeny little um pine cones that were at my grandmother's like my memories of my grandmother's house were the the big pine tree with the just baby little pine cones and the peony flowers and watching the ants crawl on the peony flowers, and today, you know, I still uh can revel in those moments. And I was thinking of um dusk or twilight is also a favorite time of mine and the golden hour. And Molly has taken recently to if I'll sit down to try and work at that time of day, she wants to crawl into my lap and just like lounge and extend herself. And so I find myself moving my laptop over here. But just the depth of like relaxation that she uh exhibits and that it kind of brings me into a state like that is a moment of contentment for sure. And today, for example, I was like, I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to get up soon as much as I would love to stay here for you know forever. Um, we're gonna have to get up soon so I can get to this call. But I will say I had an aunt who was Japanese. Um she was from Japan. My my uncle was there in the military, and she came back and they used to live next door. And she was I spent a lot of time with her when I was quite little. Um she was quiet and self-possessed, and just um she it brought me contentment to be with her. And there was a we could be together like in the stillness or in the quiet in a way that I I didn't really have with anybody else. So Aunt Sat.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh, I love that, Joan. Thank you so much. There's so many pieces to your share that um, you know, when I thought about contentment, it was my Japanese grandmother who was able to be very present with me. And she's who I think of. She would hold my hand while we spoke and very engaged and present. Um, so I love that you brought that up. And even when you talked about flow, that was um, you know, I used to think of contentment in my early 20s as like, I don't ever want to be content. Like that sounds so boring. Like, no. Um, and now I feel like when I am in flow, it's I can be very content because there's this idea that yes, I'm still moving forward, but I'm not like reaching. The energy feels just very flowing. So I love that you brought that up. Um, which I know we've kind of each of us have talked about, you know, touched on it a little bit, how it's kind of changed over time. But does anybody want to share maybe um like even a couple points or however you want to do it of what the energy of contentment has felt like on your arc? So, like I said, I just share that. I used to think contentment was like scary, boring, stay away. And now it's like my favorite energy of flow. Um, so yeah, does anybody want to share about that?
SPEAKER_03I can go. Um I just when Cerise said something about it, about it also about it feeling bad, like it being a negative thing. I I thought that too, and I thought of being called lazy. Um and um and and then Kay talked about beauty, it being beauty. And um I realized that like some of the things I wrote down thinking about it was that contentment is recognizing beauty. And one of the things I just kind of realized recently was like if someone say, What's the most beautiful thing you've seen? I would say it's um watching Torvald and Dean skate uh Boleros, Ravel. Like that was like, and I I have watched it on YouTube and just been so content watching it.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, I'm not familiar with that, but I'll have to look it up. Is it you said skating?
SPEAKER_03Is it um I feel like it was the 70s or something that they won the gold or something? It's ice dancing. I see oh amazing.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I love that. There's something really special about that. There's been something going around with someone ice skating um at night with like a lantern in a frozen lake, and that is I mean, that feels very much beautiful and content. Um, thank you for sharing that, Lisa. I love that. And um, and you've touched on it, both of you guys touched on it. And it's a question that I have is you know, like in this world, it's usually like, you know, striving, forcing, achieving, it's all of that energy that defines success in the modern world. And so with us even talking about this energy of contentment, and I mean, I'm I'm sure everybody can feel there's like a peace and a beauty, and like all these really beautiful energies that come with contentment. Um, what are ways that, you know, in that fast-paced world, and we talk about slowing down for contentment, what are some ways that we can maybe foster and nurture that in our own life and maybe cause a ripple effect? Sarise, do you have any uh any insights or shares on that?
SPEAKER_00I think it's it starts with recognition, right? So it's about turning contentment, you know, for yourself into something positive. And if it's not positive, understanding, you know, why it's not something positive for you and and looking into that. I think I'm not, you know, I but for me, um, you know, that evolution that I went through on this topic, um really took some time, right? It was it it was always about you know, when you when you have this mindset of or you're brainwashed with continuous improvement, you can always do something better, you can always achieve more, you can, you know, bigger, faster, whatever the thing is. So when when you're when you have that, you know, and then you realize, hey, wait a second, you know, slow down, let me, you know, and and you see the simplicity, you know, Joan talked about the beauty of nature. It's you know, there's that saying, you know, stop and trail the roses, and there's that that pause in life, and there's so much beauty there, and contentment in being in that present moment at that time that for me early on I didn't have. Even as you know, a mom with three kids, you know, you would. fight of that you know because your your fate is this constant that you don't have that or or some of us don't have that opportunity to pause um but you know in reflecting you know some people like my mom did he you know was able to be completely present and in the moment with me and my sister when she was raising us and so he was able to you know so she and she was happy and content with her life and her family and her surroundings and everything and she wasn't you know she wasn't always looking for you know the next thing or you know but yes wanting the most out of life for her family yes but also being content with all and being grateful for everything that she had so I think you know in reflecting on you know my mom's experiencing ra experience raising two children and then mine you know working full time flying every week to clients you know and you know and then with the cell phone and you know being with my kids and being on the phone and you know technology and fast-paced environment and go go go you know I I look at that and I wasn't present at those moments and you know so when I reflect and and think back on those periods of my life I I realize you know I I I did miss out on so much. So for me it was you know so for me at this point it's about paying attention. So what I would say is acknowledging paying attention to you know what contentment means for you and where you are in your life and what's important deciding what's important for you. If it's something that is important to you then you know possibly journaling about it and you know thinking more about it. So just like we're having this conversation it's it's just bringing this awareness. So I think for me it would be to start with awareness and seeing you know where you are and what your relationship with contentment is. Does it have that negative connotation being content and not you know not striving for everything else or for like for me it's about wanting to see the beauty and being grateful for every moment and that peacefulness and and that yeah and that's what I want more of in my life. And so that's what you know that's that would bring me you know joy and happiness.
SPEAKER_01I love that thank you so much. And and when you were sharing Cerise it made me think of an additional question that um you know I'll I'll maybe direct this at Kay but um you were talking about awareness and you're looking back and recognizing. So I would assume my assumption is all of us here do a lot of maybe self-reflection or kind of being aware. So I'm almost curious if you want to speak to this Kay where maybe there's um a belief system where the achieving and the striving right but it sounds like us being very self-aware and having the curiosity to evolve that that kind of forward movement doesn't stop but there's either a different belief system or inside because it sounds like we're essentially still moving forward to it you know evolving and getting better but there's some sort of different belief or different energy that's actually steering it. Does that question make sense?
SPEAKER_04I hope I was able to articulate it it came up to me as I was yeah yeah definitely um I think that uh what what I kind of when I think about this topic um it's like before if I had a list a to-do list my contentment came when the list was complete and now my contentment comes from understanding that the list doesn't matter at all and I think one of the things that has um one of the reasons that I've been able to get to this point is because I have more of an understanding of the nature the eternal nature of my being and I I don't think that I would have been able to achieve the same achieve the same level of contentment if I didn't have that that awareness because now everything that I feel I have to get done in this lifetime I realize no I I don't have to get it done in this lifetime I have an infinite amount of time to experience the things that I that I long to experience and um that's that's just I mean there's I don't know why I you know it took me this long but um and and I also want to say like despite what I said and Joan has said about the golden hour and it having some kind of magical contentment dust that it drops on us um I don't think that contentment is um something that comes over you it's something that you have to allow space for and so you need to you know clear your mind let your mind settle so that you're not constantly being driven by the endless thoughts that are running through your mind. I think that as a starter you have to leave some spaces in your day and not allow yourself to be compelled to fill every single spare moment. And that is a discipline so I I feel like this contentment is available to us all but it requires this letting go of so much need and drive and busyness to let those moments flow in. And also you know there's this really strange thing that's happening with time. So I I expect that time will have more will be teaching us more about contentment. On the one hand um time seems to be moving very quickly and also not at all and I think that as we step more into this the quantum space of the present moment we're going to understand that we continuously have a choice of doing or being and contentment is that is the that found in the space of being rather than rather than so much doing overdoing although you know there are things that I enjoy doing that give me a sense of contentment you know but yeah so I love that so much that got me so excited.
SPEAKER_01There were so many things there because you're right it's such a way of being and when you were talking about the time speeding up and also slowing down it kind of reminds me of that energy upholding paradox or like that oneness of how big we really are like you even mentioned if I don't get to in this life I'll get to it in the next or I'm eternal and I think that that's where my sense of contentment is coming from more is you know if I if I just do enough then I'll be enough if I just you know get this done or achieve this and I'll be happier then right when it's like no no no all that noise space slow down like oh I'm already enough like if that's true then I guess I get to do this stuff for enjoyment or to pass the time or what whatever it is I need to do. So thank you so much for sharing that. Joan I would love you know what can I just bring up one other thing while I'm at it I think that um you know also um we're in these human bodies and they're so um complex like they're constantly challenging us and um I don't know why it felt important to say this but as I as I age I also have found contentment in um in in dying you know that um it it it allow accepting death has made it so much more possible for me to be content in my life I don't know why but thank you for letting me interrupt you sorry thank you for sharing that I think that that's that's a whole energy in itself where um yeah that's a that's a great thank you for sharing that um with that said Joan if we were kind of talking about that energy right really being and then allowing that space um do you want to just speak to a little bit about maybe your journey of um is that a process to get to that space where you can be and be more present um do you want to speak to that a little if if that's kind of the energy of how it's allowing more space being in contentment um yeah maybe what are some things that you may have gone through in your journey to get to that space well let's see for me contentment the the piece that keeps coming up is it's like knowing my place in the hole so to speak it's knowing what is mine to do knowing what I'm here to bring without having to question that or without having to prove that or without having to recog even recognize what that is like all of those things were a process.
SPEAKER_02But to just be in my own right place in my own right time uh kind of moving like the birds, you know, when there's the whole flock of birds and they're all like doing their dance together in the sky. You know, so it's like being one of those birds and just being in that dynamic state of the whole so it's for me it's I don't see it as much an issue of like product versus process. I think it's always been in many ways um process related or being you know that state of being and the other thought I had was you know all this driving all the pushing all the all that were being sold on really all the advertisements are about often some version of contentment. You know, whether it's the cruise or the sitting with your partner in the open air tub or whatever the case may be. So it's um you know we've was we've just been sold like you have to go run the marathon while you're juggling, you know, while you're playing the harmonica and then you can have contentment. Um and part of me has never really for whatever reason has has has never really ascribed to that although I have my my own programming around the the doing stuff but but I think just to recognize like the place that we're getting like I can stop and choose to be there right now. I don't have to do the prescription of running the marathon juggling playing the harmonica it's you know whatever whatever the case may be I hope that answers the question.
SPEAKER_01No that was great. No thank you so much and I love that you've had you know whatever that awareness about that has been that's kind of followed you and you've been embodying that so that's awesome. Lisa I wanted to ask you um are there any thoughts or ahas like even just having this discussion where we're all present with each other talking about contentment has there anything that in this conversation has either shifted your idea about contentment or felt like an aha that you've personally had that you want to kind of leave us with on contentment?
SPEAKER_03Um well I I thought this might happen that like I as we're sitting here talking about this I'd just be so satisfied I wouldn't be thinking of any aha moments or um so that is what's kind of happened. But I love I feel like um everything everyone has said has has totally been my thought and I feel like I'm at an age now where I do not push myself because I know that's the programming. And so I'm finding contentment in a lot more places in my life. I'm like nope, I don't I feel like that's putting too much pressure on me.
SPEAKER_01I'm not gonna do it you know so you're finding that there's more places that it's naturally unfolding because you are kind of saying no to the program and allowing yourself to have space that you're finding that contentment's happening more in your life. And then I just have to say I love that you literally embodied contentment as I asked you that. So that just made my heart so happy um but you know before we kind of sign off I just want to give the opportunity if anybody has one last nugget that they feel like sharing or if we're all just kind of feeling content. So I'll just open the floor with that before we sign off. And I could share uh just really quickly that I'm uh I'm really glad that we talked about this because I have been noticing myself more moments of contentment and they seem so simple. Like sometimes it's just sitting at the table looking at the meal that I've made for myself and my little flower centerpiece and hearing the wind and just being so content. And those moments seem so simple. I feel like sometimes we're undersold in society about that. But there's a lot of beauty and contentment in simple that I'm finding in my life. So um it's it's really uh it's creating a lot of space within me. So I love this conversation and I'll stop talking in case anybody wants to say something.
SPEAKER_04I'll I'll say something Jay because um I'm so glad that you brought up that top that that aspect of contentment because that's been playing in my mind sort of in the background of this whole conversation and I feel like you know it it it's it seems in my experience rather rare to come across someone who has a ginormous life that is so active and busy and striving who who actually would say that they were content. And and this this is the programming is that bigger faster stronger is better um and and that's a hard treadmill not to hop on uh especially when you're young and you have some fire within you um but the the people who who would claim to find contentment have narrowed their their focus narrowed their life um made it smaller more simple but what's crazy is that within that simplicity there's so much expansion and and the expansion is an expansion of peace and contentment obviously and um and and strength and fearlessness and um it's it's just such a rich place and I I see in my children um a move toward that toward valuing contentment um and over over hard charging into you know big giant careers where they're uh you know accomplishing stuff that doesn't really matter in the end um so I I feel like we society as a whole is moving in that direction but boy is it is it tough um I think especially when you're young so thank you thank you thank you all so much oh Joan did you yeah I have a couple of thoughts one that keeps coming to me is it does feel like a a high practice to choose to choose contentment and I'm thinking specifically of being in a grocery store or being in a line or you know particularly like this time of year and and certainly we can create optimal conditions where we create contentment but I I also thought I feel like I was receiving the invitation to find contentment even in situations where previously I might find annoyance or impatience or um frustration.
SPEAKER_02So I wanted to share that that's just a thought that popped in and the the other piece is just to bring a the counterpoint I I'm thinking about people who do have what I would say like a big mission or a big purpose that they do feel you know whether it's divinely guided or inspired and because there are people that I know and see in my life who are doing that that are creating at very high levels and moving and going all the time and while that is is not um you know it's not what I feel wired for or what I ascribe to. I guess I'm curious for those people I you know I would be curious to know what it's like what is contentment maybe contentment is you know being in the flow state I I don't know I'm curious about that. And the last piece I'll say is I think it does feel and maybe I said this before like it's a I don't think I did I just thought it a nervous system but a state of being like a state of both resilience and peace.
SPEAKER_04Like it's not being flat mind but it's being able to kind of move and flow in those dynamic ways with whatever is presenting it so thank you for letting me rip thank you thank you so much for bringing this forward shade can I ask you a question I actually want to pose this to Cerise as well because you have young children and um I'm wondering how you approach that topic with the raising of children fostering a sense of contentment in them when they're also in the programming of Mourn that is um such a good question and something I've been thinking about a lot because I it's always hard, right?
SPEAKER_01But even nowadays with the constant simulation and you know even in school or video games the TV everything is so accessible that it's almost like I can't even imagine how growing up like that can foster contentment. And so this is how I do it I I try to embody it most myself because even when I was reflecting back on you know yes I said my grandma I could see contentment and it wasn't really something in my household but the moments like looking back as an adult to my mom where she was content was you know maybe we were doing a craft together and there was just that space of contentment where I could tell she there was nowhere else that she needed wanted thought about being and so I try to create as much of those moments with my children as possible. You know when I'm we're doing a puzzle I I want to be focused in I mess up sometimes and I'll check my phone and my kids will call me out. They'll know they're like get off your phone you're spending family time I'm like you're right. And so I try to model it because when they're with me doing it, it creates some of that with them. And then also just like allowing them to be bored. Like sometimes I'm the mean mom that oh my friends Are playing this video game. We want to like, sorry, like you're gonna have to be mad at me and learn to be bored because it can't be what you want all the time, instant gratification. I think that that's really not wiring our system for contentment. So um, you know, they're young, like my youngest just turned eight, 10. Um, but contentment is usually when we're all together being present, or sometimes they're focused on a task that they wanted to do. And you can just feel their energy of uh being content, but that's because they have things that they want to do that they get to foster that within themselves. So that's my that's my little spiel on that.
SPEAKER_04It seems like um, you know, the the contentment of a day, the way a child falls into that rock hard pass out sleep at the end of the day. Like they just let all the cares go and it's like done, you know, and just crash. I love that.
SPEAKER_01I love that. I mean, in my household, it's such a wind-down process. Like I sit, I have a chair in the room that I sit every night, and we kind of like wind down together and co-regulate the sometimes, it'll sometimes it'll crash out, especially my 10-year-old if he's really playing hard. But my youngest guy, that's the time when all his thoughts catch up. He's very present through the day. So um we we sometimes have to process that. But um yeah, not to throw a wrench in that. I wish everybody, all the kids would by the way.
SPEAKER_00Um, for me, it's a little bit, I mean, Date's kids are a little younger than mine, um, minor teenagers and such. Um, and I feel like I I hadn't been on my journey um or hadn't been aware as aware um when they were little. Um, but what I've been trying to introduce over the last five years is, you know, just continuously asking them, you know, what makes you happy, you know, and bringing that, but they are bombarded by you know, the brainwashing, the programming, everything. Um so it's really hard also when you know other family members, you know, are also bombarded with the same belief systems in programming. So I gently try to just say, you know, does this make you happy or or what brings you joy, you know, to figure that out and and to be able to find that contentment, but they are being bombarded also with you know where they want to go to college and more faster, maker, stronger. Um and their lives are very, very busy. So, you know I try, you know, planting some seeds, you know. And we'll see how it goes.
SPEAKER_02Can I just add one more piece? Lisa, were you about to say something?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, go ahead, I'll go after you.
SPEAKER_02So there was something I was trying to express before, and it has to do with um like wanting or longing. And I I do believe that there is like a precursor that we need to know and recognize, like what Sarice was sharing, asking her kids what makes them happy or brings them joy. Like we need to know that what brings us joy is allowed is good. You know, like it's a good thing. Um, like that foundation in many ways has to be met to some extent before we can find a place of contentment. Because if we're if we're never under the impression that it's okay to want or to be satisfied, then I don't I don't know that we can achieve contentment just particularly as it is like raising children or just even for ourselves. So thank you.
SPEAKER_03I I love that point. Um I just wanted to say because uh what Joan said earlier about those moments where you're standing in line and it's not doesn't feel content. And something I realize, something I've done for years is if I'm like on the highway and I run into someone who's going much slower than me in front of me, um, or maybe like you know, cuts me off, I always say, and it always works, like, oh, God wants me to slow down. And I'm just like, got it. It just makes me so much more content about that.
SPEAKER_01I love that. I love that. I'll have to practice that with the lines. They have been crazy lately. I'll be like, God wants me to practice contentment and patience in this. Yeah, thanks, Lisa. All right. Well, thank you all so much for having this discussion, this talk, and really just like, you know, opening up to the energy of contentment and us talking about it because um I think it's funny, it has me excited and content, which I'm actually expanding into the energy of holding both. Um, and so that's really beautiful too. Thank you so much, Kay, for um inviting me on to do this. And yeah, I'm very happy and content right now.
SPEAKER_04Thanks, Jade. Thanks, everybody. Ah, thank you.