What We've Learned So Far
Women, wizened by experience, presence, and attention, gather to discuss topics of depth in a world deeply in need of softer, fiercer, clearer perspectives.
What We've Learned So Far
Letting Go
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What We've Learned So Far gathers a group of wise women around life's big questions and everyday experiences. We explore what we're learning about life, relationships, purpose, community, and what it means to be human in a rapidly changing world.
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In this episode our wise women explore Letting Go. And these are some of the questions we’ve posed for ourselves:
- Must we let go? How? What are the ups and downs of letting go?
- Why do we so often resist letting go and what makes it easier?
- How do we know what needs to go? What arises after we let go?
- How does one find trust in letting go?
Our panel of wise women:
Our Moderator for today’s episode: Kay Eck kay@kayeck.com @kayeckwrites (IG) Kay Eck (FB) @kayeck1040 (YouTube)
Lynnda Pollio: lynnda@frequencyfineart.com frequencyfineart.com
Joan Advent: joanadvent.com @joanadvent7171 (YT) @joan.advent (IG)
Leela Hutchison:
Video Production by Cyber Citrus Creative: https://www.instagram.com/cybercitruscreative/
Music and Performance by Keith Hill: https://www.instagram.com/khillcorp/
Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. This is what we've learned so far. Thank you so much for tuning in to our panel chat on Letting Go. And I am so happy to be here with three of my good wisest friends. And I when I was preparing for this, I was thinking a lot about letting go. And I was thinking of it from a spiritual perspective. And of course, all of us have been on this spiritual path for quite a long while. And letting go is such a critical, it's such a big part of it. But then as I was considering it further, I'm, you know, of course, it's actually a human journey. I mean, who in this world is not faced with letting go of people, of things, of places, of ideas? So it really is so in so intrinsic to the human experience. So, but it but it also is so and can be so incredibly challenging for us. So I'm really happy to be with you all today so that we can share some wisdom on this topic, hopefully make it a little easier for ourselves and for our friends who are watching now or later. So I'd like to start with asking each of you to kind of talk to us about how how letting go has been surfacing in your life. Um I mean, it's such a such a big question. But Leela, can you get us started? And also please introduce yourself and tell us where you're coming from.
SPEAKER_00Thank you, Kay. Um, let me know you can hear me all right. My name is Leela Hutchison and I live in Sonoma, California. And I was very excited about it's not the right word. Um I was moved by this topic this uh this month that Kay had proposed to us because I think she's right, as as wisdom elders, as we as we move into our maturity, our spiritual wisdom, there is a lot of letting go that's required uh on many levels. And it can be physical, it can be friendship, it can be financial, it's emotional, it's many relational, many things. So I would say um I've been thinking about this. I I'm gonna start at a very basic place, and that is I'm gonna talk about letting go in relationships. Say in a long-term relationship, we do let we talk about letting go of our partners, and yet there are spiritual cords and cording in that needs to be dissolved and let go of. And so many times what happens is as I've been um doing healing work for many years now. I think I know that Joan has as well, many of us have. I don't really know Linda yet about what her work is, but there's many people that they they have a closure, that's that's an aspect of letting go in their relationship, but but there's still chords. So there are processes, and I won't get into detail right this minute. We'll we'll move on to other people that have things to say, but I was thinking on the most basic level, there are processes in letting go in physical ties and relationships with people. So I'm just gonna put that out there just because there's emotional, there's mental, there's spiritual letting go. Let's just talk about and I'll put that out there for now about a physical aspect of letting go.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. So are you saying that I think that or are you referring to the fact that you can let go of someone physically, but there are energetic uh binds that also have to um work through. So are you s are you talking about letting go as a process then?
SPEAKER_00Yes, as a process and um and very close relational, emotional relationships, I should say. Yes.
SPEAKER_04So thinking of it more from um less as an less as an act and more as a as a as a process. As a process. I I love that because it it kind of helps us, um, I think it helps us stay in the process uh rather than just assuming that when we're once we've physically separated that we're sort of done with the job and to be patient with that, with that process, because it can take many years, um, especially long relationships. I can certainly vouch for that. Um, Linda, do you see the letting go process as being, you know, taking place over a length of time?
SPEAKER_01Uh well, it's probably easier that way over a length of time, but sometimes we don't get that opportunity. I mean, sometimes letting go chooses us more than we decide to let go of something. Um, we're forced to let go of something. So it's, I mean, I I think letting go is kind of part of our spiritual DNA, and it's going to come to us at times where we need it to come to us, and sometimes it means something very quick. Someone leaves very quickly, you get fired from a job. Um, but I think from a spiritual perspective, it it is a process. And I know I've been on in this process for a very long time. I mean, I was a very spiritual child, and it just sort of continued through my life. So it kind of influenced all the letting go I did. I had been a corporate advertising person. I let go of that to get into conscious business practices. I mean, I've let go of a lot of things because the direction I was going in my life, I had to trust that wherever I was was not serving me. So I had to let go of where that was. And whether that was a person or a job or an idea or a belief system about myself, I think that's probably one of the most important things to let go of are belief systems that we've created about who we are and what we do and what we need. And these stories that we've built. Um, I am, you know, there's a lot of spiritual gaslighting around the idea of stories. Um, because a lot of us have had, you know, traumatic childhoods or have had things that happen to us that we can't let go of because they've been really ingrained in us and they're in our biological body, and it's really hard to let go. And a lot of people now are saying, well, that's just a story. It's just a story. Stop telling your story. But if it's biologically in you, it's very hard to do that. And sometimes you have to tell your story so that it allows you to let go, and you need to tell say it as many times as it takes for you to not get charged by it anymore. But also there's something about that point where you have to decide yourself to let go of that story because it's stopping you. And usually when stories stopping you from going forward, then you know that's time to move on from the story and get help and um really try to, you know, focus on something else. But yeah, um, letting go is a really um long process from a spiritual perspective, but a lot of times we get caught up in very short letting goes that kind of move us a long way, whether we like it or not.
SPEAKER_04Right, right. I love the way you frame that. It makes me think about the you know, living in the present moment, how much you have to let go of, even even just the day before. Like we we can't really effectively live um in the in the past moment, really. Even even that requires a letting go. And it's this coming into presence is it's so difficult for us because we have this memory, and as you said, we have the cellular memory, um, we have habits and patterns. And some I'm interested, Joan, in in um about your take on letting go and what exactly it is and how it functions in our lives. Just a small question. Yeah, I know that the more we're talking about it, the more I realized it's super complicated.
SPEAKER_02So I'm gonna start with um some joyful letting go I'm doing right now in a very mundane way, which is I have recently found by nothing on the Facebook, which is this place where you get to put your things that you're ready to let go of for free, to gift to others. And I'm telling you, I'm having so much joy letting go, like day after day, of like, here's a thing I'm ready to let go. Who would like it? And someone says, I would like it. So I'm just gonna like punctuate our very deep and high level um conversation with that, like very practical thing. But I've appreciated everything that's been said here. And in some ways, you know, if if I'm gonna take the big view, you know, we spend a good part of our life like taking on. And then once we reach a certain point, it's like divesting and letting go, letting go of the illusions of who we are, letting go of relationships that aren't serving us. For me, one piece I'm in tune with is like letting go of um the emotions or the the places where, whether it's resentment or anger or judgment, you know, like places where we might get fixed or stuck. And that of course is a process to reach a place where we can dissolve those energetic knots or those, you know, places of of will that are lodged within us. I think it's like an innate, an innate part of being human. You know, it's both the taking on and then the letting go.
SPEAKER_04I'll stop there. I love that positive spin because sometimes letting go can feel really, really good, like a burden that probably wasn't yours to begin with. Letting something like that go just feels so freeing and and light. So yeah, I mean, there's there are positive aspects to it too. Um, I think about what I'm what I like to let go of is and what I have found so profound, the practice of letting go of drama and the addiction to drama. And our society is really good at feeding that to us. Uh, we have a steady diet of drama, and um, you know, I've been hooked on it in in various stages of my life and days and minutes, and so letting go of of that has been has been really profound for me. It it's like the place where you find the peace is in letting go of the drama. So Leela, can you talk a little bit about why letting go can be so hard for us as humans?
SPEAKER_00Yes. I think as humans, we are emotion. We have a lot of attachments, and they're these attachments are connected through our emotions and through our memories. And so you might have a picture of your mother that she had given you when she was a little girl with button-up shoes sitting in an old swing, and and there's just a time where you think maybe you should hang on to that forever and ever, and then maybe there's another moment where you're thinking, you know, she's been gone a long time now, she's she's passed. I I didn't know her as a baby. I I love this. I don't have a lot of physical space to put and post all these beautiful images up. What do I do with it? Just put it in a dusty box somewhere and just hang on to it. And so I think it becomes a struggle because it's your mother, and here's an image of her as a precious innocent baby. So we put all this attachment um and projection on on things that we own and acquire of our memories, our connections. And I think that's what makes it very difficult to let go. But it's such a freeing process if you can. Let me give you an example. I made a decision to move to a um a place in Northern California. I live in a very small place, but it's it's like a Zen house, it's beautiful for me. And the whole time I've been here, it has been physically letting go of things. So I am always in the constant process of letting go of attachments. I how about all the birthday cards from wonderful friends and family and loved ones? I mean, how long do I hold on to those? So it's it's uh sometimes it's difficult to let it go. These people have passed, many of them. My whole family's gone. So I have many things to remind me, but then again, it's time to let that go for me as well. So it's not been easy, but I feel like it's a process of freeing me from limitations of how I've held things in the past so I can be more present. Does that does that answer that pretty well?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I mean, I'm having trouble thinking about the questions to ask people because these are it's bringing up so much for me. I've been sort of uh I always thought that I was kind of blessed with the um, I didn't really have the sentimental gene for stuff. So getting rid of stuff and letting go of, you know, things is hasn't hasn't been that difficult for me. But um I wonder if it's also related to a stage in life, because as you age, you start to realize that um the you know the stuff is isn't what matters. It's the it's to me, it's time and presence and love and purpose, mission, you know, stuff like that is sort of um, but I do tend to collect the missions as well. So I've got some letting go of that stuff to to um to handle. But Linda, can you talk a little bit about this idea of resistance to letting go? What's it all about? What's in it?
SPEAKER_01Um, I think fear of change is probably number one. You know, we're very um sort of as humans, we like the familiar and we're threatened by the unknown. And letting go is generally letting go of what you know and moving into something you don't know. So it takes a little bit of courage and a leap of faith to make that to make that leap. Um, but I think it's, I mean, I I love letting go because I like change. And I don't like looking at the same things in my house forever. I want to, okay, I'll get I'll get a get a new couch or I'm gonna change my sheets or so that kind of thing. But I I really need a constant simulation of something new. So letting go has been easier for me. When I left New York City, where I was living for 35 years and moved to Sedona five years ago, I gave away 90% of everything I owned. And it was everything that I had built and created over the 35 years in New York. So that was a huge letting go. And I had no problem with it because I was ready for something new. I mean, I think it helps when you're ready for something new. Whereas my husband, he was tortured by it. Every piece of paper he threw out was a memory or a family situation or something from high school or college. So he had a really hard time. But um I mean, I think, yeah, I think we resist letting go because we're because we're resisting who we are who we are trying to become. You know, we can't stay the same person all the time. And unless you let go of what you have, you don't have any room in your life for what's waiting for you. But you have to be able to let go of something and leave that empty space for a little while until that new thing comes in. The first time I came to Sedona in 1996, I became a different person in the five months I stayed here. I mean, I had all kinds of mystical experiences and I had been in corporate advertising and I lived on raw foods here. And by the time I went back to New York, I didn't resonate with any of my friends. They were still in the life of New York, which was perfectly fine, but I wasn't there anymore. So I had to let go of friends because I couldn't eat the way I wanted to eat with them, you know, because people around you don't want you to change. Because when you let go, then you're reminding them that they're not letting go. So they try to hold you in your space. But once I did that, um, you know, I spent some time alone, which was good because it got it allowed me to get to know myself a little bit better and not as a reflection of all the other people that are in my life. And then eventually I started meeting new people who resonated with more with the person that I was becoming. So um, yeah, I think if we just can stop worrying about what we're leaving behind and kind of have an open mind for what the possibilities are that we're moving towards, it makes it a lot easier and have excitement. And I always have, unless it's a terrible, like someone dies or it's a terrible thing, um I think the idea of letting go of who you've been is you know can be the most exciting time in your life.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. And and the scariest, right? And the scariest, but they kind of go hand in hand. They do. It's like a roller coaster. I know. Yay, I hate it. Um so do you think that letting go is um something that you've gotten better at uh over the years? Um is it sort of like there's a relationship between how much you can let go of and how good you get at it?
SPEAKER_01Well, I think, you know, I think too is you know, I had to let go of a bunch of things I didn't want to let go of, you know. So so as you get older, you you've learned to navigate the things that are coming through your life and you you get to be an observer to a certain extent. I mean, it doesn't mean you don't feel it, but you get to observe it in a way that when I was 25 and I lost my job because I didn't even like my job, but it became obvious I didn't like my job, so they fired me. So I can't, you know, I was able to let go of those things because it was moving me into a new place. But um yeah, it's um it's not, it's not, it's never easy, and I don't think it's meant to be easy. That's why they call it a leap of faith, because you have to let go and move into the unknown before something else evolves, and that's part of being present as well. You know, if you're standing in your space and you really know who you are in that space, you have more courage. You have courage to let go and you have courage to move forward.
SPEAKER_04Oh, that's so beautiful. Thank you, thank you, Joan. What do you think the resistance to letting go is about?
SPEAKER_02Well, I would agree with the idea of um fear of the change or the unknown. And I would also agree with the way that we imbue so many things with emotion or emotional meaning. I don't know if if there's much I can add to that. It's uh I do know that it is more challenging. For some than it is for others. And kind of through some of my training, I've looked at like energetic profiles for people, and there are certain energetic profiles where it is infinitely harder to let go, where they're much more about accumulating or holding on to. And I've I've worked with such people where, you know, it's like painstaking to let go. And so I guess I will add that there needs to be, like when I think about clients I've worked with in that way or who have struggled, there needs to be almost like a sense of consistent or constancy within them to be able to hold, like to hold them, or to hold, like to hold the memory, as Leela was talking about, or to hold the sense of whether it's safety or okayness, or you know, I'm not free-falling for eternity, that there needs to be some internal infrastructure that can allow for that release or that let go.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that makes that makes sense. Um how do you how do you personally and how do we let go? How do we determine what needs to be let go of?
SPEAKER_02You're asking me.
SPEAKER_04Yes.
SPEAKER_02Uh well, certain things. I I mean the thought that came to mind is if you pick up something hot, there's that immediate like, ah, I need to let this go. And there are equivalent experiences or people uh in our life that can correlate with that. So we do need to stay connected or in tune enough with our ourselves, with our emotions, with our body to be able to pay attention to those signals. Like this is, you know, this is not a fit for me. Like I need to let go of whatever it is, whether it's the drama or not, or just whatever the case may be, or the job that's not a good fit. And frankly, I forgot what the question was.
SPEAKER_04Um, it was about how do we identify what what needs to go.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yeah. So I would say how we identify with it is staying in tune with our senses.
SPEAKER_04So your dog does not want you to be on panel chats.
SPEAKER_03My husband's walking across the yard, the dog's here. So I'm gonna stop for now.
SPEAKER_04Okay, thank you. Oh my gosh. Um, you know, that's such a great point that you made about being in tune with the body because it's such a great indicator of when things are no longer serving us. You know, foods that our body is not agreeing with, and people who make us feel small or uncomfortable, um, situations that we no longer resonate with, um, all will come up uh through the body. I think there are sometimes things that where we just are confused about what the messages are. I know that I'm facing that in one aspect of my life. You know, there's like all these things occurring, and I keep thinking, like, what is this trying to tell me? You know, like, am I supposed to go or am I supposed to stay? Like, I just don't know. And I think that my approach is just to like coast until I actually know, until I I get the uh the signal. Um Leela, what is the most difficult thing that you've had to let go of um in your life? And what made it easier for you?
SPEAKER_00Well, yeah, I was just thinking about that and what Joan was saying as well. So for me, I am a very um emotionally attached person in relationships. I'm a very loyal person, and I show my love and um my caring through uh consistency, and I'm a person that always shows up in relationships, where uh the difficulty has been in the past, which has been really helpful as I as I've evolved, is that where people are seeing me at a certain place I was 10 years ago, and they refuse to uh view me um and I'm gonna turn this around as I look at them with infinite potential. So I'm getting to a place in my life now where if if the people I've known see me as small or treat me as small or limited, then those people I really have to let go of, and I have let go. What I the difficulty is is I process it a lot because I invest my time, love, and energy into these relationships. And then what happens after a certain time, we there's an awareness that comes up and goes, Oh, this doesn't serve me any longer. This is not uh this doesn't make me feel good about myself when I'm around this person anymore. The things they say, it's the energetics, it's very subtle, but you can feel it. You can feel it when there's not a uh genuine support for growth. That there's something that they I think this is a a place that's really I don't want to say dangerous, but those that see it through eyes that say, I don't want you to change, what we were discussing earlier, because that makes them uncomfortable. That's what Linda was saying, like when she was in New York. These people don't want you to grow because it uh challenges their own questioning about themselves. So I would say in my relationships, it's been the most difficult. And I think because I'm one of those people that my family's all gone, they've all passed away. So I don't have that, yeah. And a lot of people would say, hey, you're lucky because sometimes family can really hold you back from any growth. But but I found that I've had a lot more attachments to people and relationships because I didn't have that support of my family. They've been gone for quite some time. So that's that's been the hardest place. But yet I will say my biggest growth, my spiritual growth, has really come by letting go of people who would rather see me as limited and small. Like I think that is a very, very important thing. On the other hand, it's my duty as well, my love that I give other people to stay in minimal judgment and support their potential for growth and evolution. I want to be their biggest supporter.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yeah. I I think you bring up an interesting point. Um, I know that in in my life, I have been making an effort to hold everything a lot lighter, um, a lot less gripping. And I find that that um allows me to keep people in my life uh that that that even if they don't necessarily resonate with with where I'm at, and it doesn't have the same impact on me because I'm not expecting them to act any certain way. I'm allowing them to be who they are, and I'm allowing myself to be who I am. And if that's not working for them and they need to leave me, then you know it's a lot easier to to take if it if it if you're holding on to it lightly. And I and I don't feel that that is has anything to do with how much you love them. You can you can love them deeply and hold them lightly. That's what I think. Beautiful. That's beautiful. Thank you. Um Liz Linda, tell us what is be challenging you right now in terms of letting go and what are you gonna do about it?
SPEAKER_01Oh, right now, oh my God, where should I start? Um, well, I've had like a recent health thing, and I've generally not had one. It was the first time I in my life I had spent a night in a hospital, and so I have been letting go of um the whole kind of idea that I don't know, it's it's it's been interesting that I have control over anything because I thought I did, and this challenged me to show me that I that I didn't. And I think you know, the biggest, I think the things that are the hardest things for us to let go of are belief systems that are entrenched in us, and you know, we all have them, you know, literally everything, there is no truth, they're just belief systems. Our only moment of truth is that is the day we die, and then we know whether there's anything over there or not. But in general, we just believe things, and everyone else believes what they believe. So my my belief system said, I'm perfectly fine and nothing's going to happen to me, and that didn't that didn't happen. Something did happen to me, and now I have to deal with it, and letting go of what I thought to be true, and I've done this a lot in my life, letting go of who I thought I was and everything I had planned on being, and all of a sudden, for whatever reason it is, I realize that's not going to happen. So I need to stand in that one space and go, okay, I have to let go of that person that I thought I was gonna be, and now I'm gonna be moving in a new direction. And again, it's that unfolding and that process of becoming that happens when you let go. And you don't really know what's going to happen. I don't know what's going to happen. Um, but I think that is that is, I think, my biggest fear, my big biggest challenge now, because I feel like I have no control over it. And I guess I'm a bit of a control freak. So we'll see how that works out.
SPEAKER_04Well, I it's this there's this really interesting balancing act that has to occur between creating the life that you want and surrendering to the um when it when it doesn't happen that way. Like I I think that's something that is I is constantly up for me. I'm constantly aware of that juggling act, and I don't know how to resolve it at all. So I'm gonna ask Joan. Joan, how do you resolve that?
SPEAKER_02Well, having come from a 12-step background, the serenity prayer is part of how you resolve it because it it is about accepting or surrendering or letting go, like accepting the things we can't change and changing the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference. So it's like it's praying for that, like it's really it's praying for that wisdom to know the difference between where does my power or influence uh reside, what are its limits, and where is the line of surrender or where is the place where it's time to um relinquish my will and come into alignment with the greater will. Or in my situation, um, when you were asking about what they're letting go of, I'm thinking about like as a parent, where we have our whether it's our dreams, our visions, our will for our children, and they have perhaps a different one. And so the the releasing of that or the letting go of that, um, which can sometimes be challenging.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah. I mean, that makes me think about letting go of roles that we have served. And um, I also have had a lot of, I mean, I was a I mean, I've been a mother for 33 years. And so it, and you know, and it's I was active because I have four children, you know, like it's it's a big period where that is your children never let you forget that you're a mother. And um letting go of the role of mother and still being a mother um has been incredibly challenging. Can you speak to that a little bit?
SPEAKER_02Well, I would say work in progress, you know, it's a work in progress, and I'll just say honestly, so my my daughter is finished with her first year of college, and she's away for the summer. And I know that is best for all of us because I know that my program is the second she walks through the door, that role is still too fresh, it's still too fresh within me. And the whether it's cooking the food or the trying to arrange things that she's been arranging for the last 10 months, successfully on her own, it's it's all um we're in the unwinding of that, and so sometimes we need the space in in order to let go of those roles, and and as Leela was talking about, the idea of seeing someone in their potential and not like in their limits. And I do remember as a parent, where I don't know if you had this experience, but every time I felt like I had reached a sense of like mastery of whatever the um phase we were going through and how I was gonna manage it, you know, a new phase would come in. And and trying to respond from that old paradigm wasn't gonna work anymore. So it's this perpetual letting go and letting go and letting go.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, there's this, yes, I'm I have been working really hard on letting go of worry because I was listening to a podcast once and um the person said that when you worry about someone, you are communicating to them that a lack of confidence. And I just decided like I don't want any part of that. So I I and that's like the primary thing I would worry about in my life was my kids. So I just stopped because I didn't want to have anything to do with that. And my gosh, letting I never thought that I'd be able to let go of that. And that it was so freeing. And I noticed a difference in in them um immediately. So it it it's it's it's the same that we've been talking about all along. It's like we don't know what the outcome is. I guess I thought that worrying about them was my job and that it had some value, and it really doesn't. So um, yeah, it's super interesting. Um, so Joan, what is okay, so that's basically what's left for you to keep letting go of is this is this relationship that's evolving. It's it's really tough with kids. So, what would you say from your perspective, either on the parenting or other things that you've had to let go of? What is um what arises once the letting go has occurred?
SPEAKER_02Well, for me, it feels like a sense of spaciousness. I mean, sometimes there is grief in in the letting go process, but once I move through whatever the feelings may be, um there is a sense of of spaciousness and like the field of possibilities is I guess the only way I can describe it. It's it it's almost like you know, when the rainstorm passes and it kind of clears the air and it's ripe with new possibilities. I love that.
SPEAKER_04Thank you, thank you. Um, Leela, what do you say arises once the letting go occurs?
SPEAKER_00I think what I've noticed for me is I don't sit in the void of that letting go. I think it's important, and I was thinking of what Linda was saying about a leap of faith. I think it's really important to have a trajectory in some sense. I mean, yes, you sit in possibilities, infinite possibilities, but I think it's important to navigate where it is that you're intending to go. It's like don't focus on the empty space, but focus on what I want. Right? So that healthier relationships, more high vibe, high vibration, high resonance, more affinity, um more spiritual connection. It's like, okay, if I'm gonna let this go, what do I want to replace it? Instead of just sitting in infinite possibilities, then anything can show up, which is kind of exciting. And there's a paradox of that too, like going like, okay, well, I'm just gonna let go and see what happens. But I think what really potenties the letting go process is a trajectory about where is it that you want to go? What is this showing you that doesn't serve you anymore? So, what does serve you? And moving in that direction with some vision.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's that's wonderful. Wow. Um do you think it's it's in your hands that um that something else will will come in? Um I'm just thinking about how you know with as if we go through life and we're accumulating all of these things, we're accumulating people, where we we relationships, items, um, experiences. And if we we don't get if we don't let go of those things, it gets very heavy and very crowded. And sometimes letting go of them, we we don't know what's next, but we we can't hold our arms out to receive anything if we're still holding on to all these things. So I feel like there's a big there's a void, but there's but also the void is full of is the potential, which you talked about earlier.
SPEAKER_00I agree with you. I don't it's not in my hands, I just know that it's like in meditation. So when in in a deep meditation, you're in your infinite beingness, right? Because that's what consciousness is, it's it's all things. So it's not in my hands yet there is intention and desire. Desire and intention go together. So I say that everything that's being revealed is is it either shows what I do want or what I don't want. I want more of this, please. Yes, what I don't want. So in a situation like that, again, I navigate to all right, I'm gonna sit with in my heart, what is it that I truly want in letting go of this? And then I open it up to the field of possibilities. So it's again it's like, okay, so I've set an intention and then I let it go, right? That's that's what we do. That's how you do the process, not just of letting go, but anything else. You want something in your life, you set an intention and you coupled that with desire. That's an important part, I think. But what is your desire? Set an intention and then be with that. But no, it's not in my hands to make it happen. There is this beautiful mystical process that, you know, the blessing of having life being shown to us in our path, you know. It may go here one day, it may go there. It's that's that's the kind of the excitement and the scariness of being alive. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04I I read recently these this little thing, and it said, um, I don't I wish I remembered where it was, but it said, desire is but a prayer. And I thought that was so beautiful, just so simple. And I hadn't really thought of it that way, but your desire is but a prayer. That's so pretty. Um, Linda. How does one find the trust in letting go?
SPEAKER_01Well, I think you have to know yourself for one. If you don't know who you are, who the person is that's letting go, it's it's a lot scarier. If you know who you are and you've done a lot of internal work, it doesn't make it not scary, but you've you've learned that who you are can handle it. And you know what the experience will be, and you know, like I said, basically how to set the intention for for what's coming next. So I think I think that's probably the biggest thing is just knowing who you are, because trusting is really hard. It's hard for all of us. We don't trust ourselves, we don't trust other people. Um, and part of the reason is people can't be trusted. So so again, knowing yourself helps you trust, helps you trust other people, helps you know who to trust, and helps you know when when you're letting go of something. But again, there's always that that moment between life and death, that's a space that you don't you're not gonna see, most likely, where you're going, because the letting go process forces you into that open space. So, but if you've done your work and you know that where you're leaving is not right for you, or it hasn't served you, or maybe it's happened very quickly, but when you look back at it, you see why, like when I was in this job, and uh I should have left because I didn't want to be there, and it took them recognizing that. So if I had let go, then I wouldn't have had to go through the whole process of getting fired and figuring out what I was gonna do next. And but again, that did push me in a new direction, and I, you know, went in a different career direction. So um you can't trust letting go if you don't trust yourself.
SPEAKER_04That's such a great, such a great point. And also I I can't I've lost count of the number of people who have told me that getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to them.
SPEAKER_01It was, it was, and it's yeah, it's because sometimes you need that little kick. Um, and you know, if you get fired from somewhere, you really have to look at where where you were. I mean, who were the people? What are you doing? Is that the place you really want to move forward from at that point in your life? Because it gives you an opportunity to make a turn in a new direction. And you don't get a lot of them in life. You know, there are moments in life that allow you that give the the possibility and the potential to make a change. And when you get fired, when you get divorced, um when someone dies very close to you, I mean, these are all feel like awful things to the human condition, but they are sort of a magical time of making a move in a new direction once you're able to let go. Beautiful.
SPEAKER_04Joan. Where do you find trust in letting go?
SPEAKER_02Well, again, my roots, part of my spiritual roots are within the 12 steps, and I grew up surrounded in a household that talked about the 12 steps, and there's a slogan that says, let go and let God, which can be a loaded, can be a loaded thing, depending on how you orient to that word of God or that concept of God. And it makes me think about um, I think it's the Einstein quote of like we're either living, we either believe like we're living in a friendly, supportive universe, or we're living in a hostile, um, aggressive universe, and we get to decide. So for me, my personal trust journey, which has included learning how to trust myself, has been within that larger context of believing in a presence in an energy that I choose to call God. Um, and looking at the ways that like my limited perspective could be expanded by letting go of my attachment or my will or whatever the case may be, and allowing that larger presence energy to to either guide me or to fill in or to you know to take um to take care. You had shared about your worry uh regarding your children, and the practice that has been most helpful for me in releasing that is really the practice of prayer and putting like putting my daughter, for example, in God's care. And and frankly, you know, some people may think it's the placebo effect, but but it works for me, like it allows me to let go of my worry and to trust that whatever she's facing, whether I would choose it for her or not, is in her best interest in one way, shape, or form. So beautiful, beautiful.
SPEAKER_04I mean, you spoke earlier about you know, specific like energetic signatures that you had had come across. And I feel like there's this underlying belief or this underlying factor beneath this conversation that we have the option of believing that life is occurring for us or to us. And those who believe that it is for us tend to probably fare better with the letting go process, knowing that even though they don't know what's to come, that it's ultimately going to be better for them, even if it's more difficult in the in the short term. Leela, could you speak and take us out on the subject of surrender and divine will? I'm just curious. I mean, we've talked about letting go is a really practical term. Um, and some of the things that we've alluded to here today have been um kind of more about trusting divine will, surrendering. And I'm just wondering like the relationship between those three things for you.
SPEAKER_00Um I have a deep abiding love and trust in God, and I would say divine will is sources will that I surrender to. So I can only speak to my experience instead of a philosophy. So the divine will and the trust. Oh I'm sorry, what is the third one? Did you say like surrender? It's all part of it, right? It's all part of it. I can I can say from experience, and many, many years of experience, of really going out on a ledge into the unknown and trusting that everything was going to be a beautiful experience, even if there was the uncomfortability and in the in-between time, but the the outcome of it was always in divine will. So I surrender more and more is because I trust that it's always for my highest and greatest good. Now I know that sounds like an old cliche that we've heard over and over again. Highest and greatest good, but like MBOs, most benevolent outcome. It happens all the time because I believe it to be. And my relationship with source, I call it God, creator, Sophia, all I can do is really speak to it through my own experience, and it just to me, all three of those are such a beautiful catalyst for something greater, something better, something more sacred in life. Beautiful, thank you so much.
SPEAKER_04I just want to thank all of you for coming to the panel chat today and sharing your personal experiences and your and your wisdom um with us with us all. So thank you. I appreciate you so much. Until next time, take care, bye bye.