Episode 2: Against all odds

Against all odds .... we made it to episode 2!!

This week we discuss:

• Marty, if you’re alive, call us.
• Buying a house with vibes instead of documents.
• Why every simple task somehow becomes a full-scale operation.
• AIM.
• Heartbreak.
• Why not everything needs a silver lining.
• And a free lesson for the fellas.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Recording. Alright, you sit here.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

That's where I'm your Bible.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just tuck it behind. No, so it is. No, it's so it is. I said that as a joke. It looks good, but tuck it behind the one so you can see the ladder things go across it.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Is that better for your vibes? Okay. Jeez Louise, let me get your coffee.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Are the mics turned on?

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Listen, it's your background, you know? Alright, so don't make sure you're so good. So good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

I don't know. I have sunglasses on. I think it's so good.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

The fucking lighting sucks, man. It's so dark.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Does this even do anything? I don't fucking know. Honestly, I'm not even sure if I'm fucking leave it like that, I guess. Does that look better?

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Whatever.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Wait, I think that looks better than it did look.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

Good idea.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

You know what I'm saying? Good idea. You get a second chance.

unknown 1:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Third time. Third time's insure for you. And we're back from our commercial break. Oh, we from our zero sponsors. We sure are. Zero sponsors up in here. I'm good. Are you good? I don't fucking know, man. I don't know if you are good either. This we need a fucking producer, you know what I mean? This is way too much for us to take on ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Speaking of, I actually think we deserve an award. A round of applause. Let's serious and a high five. Nailed it. There's nothing like a good high five. Yeah. Doesn't it?

SPEAKER_01 2:40

It's like a yeah, a good high five. Did you ever get one from a stranger?

SPEAKER_00 2:48

I just struggle with you for a loop.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

I just had so many ideas go off in my head at once when you said that. I can't recall it, but I want to start doing that to people. Dude, I feel like I have gotten high fives from strangers.

SPEAKER_01 3:03

It is a dopamine rush.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

You know, when you're in line and the person in front of you buys your Starbucks and it makes your day.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

No, because I don't ever go to Starbucks unless I'm with you.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

Oh. Well, they do that sometimes. It's the nicest thing ever. Yeah. I feel like a high five will do that. Yeah. I make everybody high five me.

unknown 3:25

Do you?

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Wanna talk about your graveyard? Is that is that the curl up to touch on?

SPEAKER_02 3:38

The graveyard.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

The graveyard?

SPEAKER_02 3:40

It's a topic we can touch on for sure. But it's a topic. It is a topic. Um lot of people who are dead to me. I get it. Listen, it is probably an unhealthy but useful coping mechanism that I have where someone hurts me or someone crosses me, I can throw up a fucking steel wall like you've never known. Sounds super healthy.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

But at the same time, I feel like you should give yourself a little bit of grace just because you've gone into something and you're trying to make it better. And inevitably, people are resistant to change. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 4:43

And so change is hard for a lot of people. Yeah. I love change.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

I actually thrive in change situations. Probably linked to our ADHD somehow. But yeah, it's probably like change. I know. I think it's just like the consistency. While I thrive in consistency, I also fight it. Mm-hmm. Because it gets boring. Yeah, I need a little spikes. You know?

SPEAKER_02 5:13

Spicy as shit.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Spicy as shit. That's gonna be one of our merches. Merch. Merch. I can't wait to get our merch.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

I know.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

Up and running.

SPEAKER_02 5:24

I know.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

I sent you a shirt today.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

I liked the shirt.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

Right?

SPEAKER_02 5:30

I did like the shirt.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

But you well, I mean, did you like it?

SPEAKER_02 5:33

No, I did like the shirt. I don't love the like shortened. Oh.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

I thought it would be like a good sticker for a yeti bottle.

SPEAKER_00 5:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

Alright, so let's talk about what has happened since we last recorded. Yeah, let's talk about it. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:11

Because we're circling back to the round of applause in high five we just gave ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

Yeah, which was ten minutes ago in the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

No fucking way. Okay, we're gonna solve we're gonna solve this.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Okay. We are going to solve this. I'm running.

unknown 6:43

We're back.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Problem solved, maybe?

SPEAKER_01 6:45

Maybe, maybe not. Alright, so let's circle back to what happened since the last time we recorded.

SPEAKER_02 6:53

So we have been talking about doing a podcast for a long time. We have a lot of stuff going on in life in general, and for the most part, we handle things with a really good sense of humor.

SPEAKER_03 7:08

Act.

SPEAKER_02 7:09

Listen, that also you have peeled me off the floor and out of bed quite a few times too. But the stories are funny, and I feel like you make me laugh so much, and our time together brings me so much joy, and we've always talked about spreading that, yeah, and sharing that.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

And 100%.

SPEAKER_02 7:37

There's a ton that we overcommit to all the time, and we're like, let's do this, let's do that. We have all these great ideas, and then we never follow through on it, or we start it and we stop it.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

And the fact that we've even made it this far is a fucking miracle. I know. I'm like really proud of us.

unknown 8:00

Sing.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

And I think we're shocking the world.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

Because I don't think anyone actually ever considered that we would record anything. And here we are. I know. Here we are. And you know what we're talking.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

Our friends and family who know us well, you know what we're talking about. You're shocked. You know we're overcommitted. You know we're underqualified.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

We have no by the way, we have no idea what we're doing. It took us three hours just to do the setup for our second podcast. Well, we lost our producer. Well, we don't know. We don't know. We we haven't heard from Marty. Marty! Marty!

SPEAKER_02 8:59

Marty! So listen, we're figuring it out on our own. You know? We figured out how to edit the first video, make clips, get it out there.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

When she says we, I mean she has. I figured out how to type a couple of things into ChatGPT. So I just want to make sure that credit is given.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

Yeah. I just want to make sure that credit has been given.

SPEAKER_02 9:32

I think I had an IT background in my past life.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

I would think of it more as like an engineering background. You're really good at figuring those those things out and looking at something and then breaking it down. I don't think I told you the full story, but like you're part of bits of this story. Okay. So I settled on a house. Woo!

SPEAKER_02 10:04

Congrats. Um big girl settlement all on your own. Post-divorce.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

Post-divorce. Yeah. So big deal. It is a big move. Super excited. I settled on my 40th birthday. The entire day of settlement is hilarious. And it is such a reminder of every part of my ADHD. You're just like, God man, seriously, at every point. But I was like, whatever, it is what it is. I'm just gonna this is we're just gonna proceed. Yeah. So I had to leave for settlement. I found out that you can't make a wire transfer online greater than $25,000 without going to the bank. And the bank doesn't open until 9 a.m. And my settlement was at 9 a.m. So I get in my car and I'm like, I'll just go to settlement. And then I go to settlement.

SPEAKER_02 11:04

So you're learning this as a damn fault.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

Right? So I I get in my car and it's like, you have no gas, you don't have enough gas to get to your settlement. So I roll in late to my settlement because I had to stop and get gas. And then I'm like, oh, I don't have the wire transfer. So with no money to actually buy the house.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

Walk in late, no money, okay?

SPEAKER_01 11:37

Walking late, no money. Got it. And they're like, it's alright, it's alright. You just have to leave here and immediately do that. And I was like, okay. Are you gonna totes totes do that? So I go to the bank and I lost my wallet five.

SPEAKER_02 11:51

Wait, they let you close on the house without wiring the money. Yes. This is what I do for a living. And not one time in the thousands of mortgages that I'm closed.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

Dude, they literally gave they gave the owner the check and they were like, just don't cash it. And so we confirmed that the money's there. And she was like, okay. You must just look, you look like a trustworthy person, you know? And I am, I'm just generally work within my own boundaries. Yes, you know. They were like, look at her.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

We feel bad for her.

unknown 12:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

We feel sorry for her. So yeah, so then I leave, I go to the bank. I lost my wallet five months ago. But my license expired like yesterday or today. I don't know. So I was like, I won't even get a duplicate. I'll just wait the five months to get the new one. And so I replaced all my cards. The bank would not accept my passport card as identification.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

What?

SPEAKER_01 13:16

Yeah, I don't know. You can go to Canada with it, you can get on a cruise ship with it, you can get on a flight with it, but you can't make a wire transfer with it. News to me. How does that make any sense? It doesn't make any sense. And I was like, listen, turn your screen to me. All the information that they're asking for is on this car.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

I don't understand. And they were like, we're gonna need your full passport book. So I then had to leave the bank and go get my full passport card. The whole thing took way longer than it should have. But it's also just like, hey Christina, if you wouldn't have lost your wallet, if you would have done the research, if you would have gone to the bank ahead of time, if you would have put gas in your car, all of these problems would have been solved. But instead, that's me.

unknown 14:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:10

That's because life is just moving so fast. You don't have the time to have that planning and prep space. Right. But also your mortgage company and title company should be advising you on the steps and what you need to know. Because how are you supposed to know that?

SPEAKER_01 14:36

That's mortgage Nicole. Saving the world. Saving the world one mortgage at a time. Wait, can you tell us about something that you overcommitted to in the past couple of weeks?

SPEAKER_02 14:59

Um there's a lot. I mean, we'll start with this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

I think we're doing pretty good at that.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

We are now the podcasters, the content creators, the producers, the filmers, the IT team. We're doing this all on our own. Yeah. So overcommitted to this for sure. 100%. I coach both of my kids in soccer. Overcommitted. Overcommitted.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

We work in Jersey.

SPEAKER_02 15:34

Yep. And I do it in the fall and spring every year. And every year I say, overcommitted to this. And I still do it. But I love it. First of all, I love soccer so much. And I love coaching so much. And I can't choose one kid over another to coach, you know what I mean? Yeah. But William's playing travel in the uh fall. So I won't be coaching then.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

Well, you just don't know.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

You never know.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

Guess what I found out about travel for next year? Well. So Lucy plays travel soccer. She actually has practice three times a week. And then games.

SPEAKER_02 16:26

If there was one of those blood pressure things.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Are you just like because I it's like wait, I'm sitting there at practice, like, what do you mean? Three nights a week? She's nine. Three nights a week? I know. And I'm like, how do you guys even know this? And they're like, it's in the fine print. And I'm like, who reads that? Who reads that stuff? How am I supposed to know that I signed up for three nights a week?

SPEAKER_02 17:03

I don't read an email if it's more than five sentences, so I believe it's too much.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

Same. I've actually really started using AI enhancement. I just say, what is my to-do from this email and what are the key takeaways? And like give it to me very brief.

SPEAKER_02 17:25

Dude, I am so all in on AI. This kind of stuff, technology, and efficiencies. So instead of getting a task done ever, like ever, I will hyperfixate on how the whole process to get the task done can be done more efficiently. Or if I have to organize my house, I will decide I have to move everything around in the house first before I organize it.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

Oh, really? You have to move everything around in the house first.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

Yeah. To get new feng shui, new vibe.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

Yeah, world's biggest surprise.

SPEAKER_02 18:04

Yeah. But we're embracing AI, which I think is awesome.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

What's your usage, Pat?

SPEAKER_02 18:11

All I know is I've been signed up for some amazing pilots, and I have the premium subscription that other people don't have. Winning. Every time he reaches out to me with a pilot or something he wants to interview me on or ask questions on, I'm like, he probably thinks I'm such a psycho because I will drop everything and clear my calendar, and I'm so excited to talk to him anytime. He's probably like, what is wrong with her?

SPEAKER_01 18:43

No, that's amazing. It is so cool. I don't even want to admit how fast it does. Some things.

unknown 18:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

Because I will throw some stuff in there and can you calculate this, this, and this? And then put it in this spreadsheet. And it does it so fast. Yes. I always validate it, but it does it so fast. If I didn't have people skills, my job could very easily be eliminated.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

AI is everything I'm not.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

Exactly. Think about the skills that you try to teach your kids. And I actually feel trades are really good jobs. They really are. AI can't do that.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

What's a four-year college do for you? It certainly did nothing for me. Well, maybe it did because people skills.

SPEAKER_01 19:47

I mean, college was interesting for us.

SPEAKER_02 19:50

College was the best time of my life.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

And we didn't even do college together. Well, we kind of did college together, but Donna didn't want us to go to college together. Yeah. So we went to separate schools, but we still kind of did college together. You were very much known at my school.

SPEAKER_02 20:11

And Dida. It'd be like Jaeger's coming this weekend.

SPEAKER_01 20:16

My friends would be like, yes! Jagger's coming. Yes. And my friends would be like, Peach is coming? Amazing!

SPEAKER_02 20:24

Oh man, it's so fun.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

Man, some other Sunday ride, car ride to him. Or Gertz. Think of our AIM. And whose car didn't have the radio? Remember some of them? We didn't even have a radio. It was just straight two hours of a car ride with no music. You say that? I don't remember the no music. I know no, someone's car. I think it was a guy that you were dating. But he didn't have a working radio. I remember it being the most awful ride.

unknown 21:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

And you drove me from Shippensburg to Cookstown. And then I was like, man, I can't believe she has to drive back.

SPEAKER_02 21:13

I know. How generous is that?

SPEAKER_01 21:18

You say that like I didn't do that with you. I drove to Shippensburg plenty of times. We thought college was fun. College was fun.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

Gosh, we have to wrap it up soon. But let's talk about a topic.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

You don't have to say what actually happened. You don't have to say what it was about, but how are you feeling? Not good. No. No.

SPEAKER_02 21:47

I mean, I don't enjoy the conflict. I don't enjoy the conflict at all, but I also am not one to just Settle when there's something that I feel that I need to stand up for.

SPEAKER_01 22:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

I don't easily give in general. You know, which could be my greatest weakness and my greatest strength. Right. All in the same vein. It stinks to not be able to resolve things. I don't know what it is. I shouldn't feel any sort of empathy for the situation or for the person. But I do. And there's probably something wrong with me that I can do.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

No. There's nothing wrong with you. That's actually a very humane response. I don't feel and it would be inhumane for you to not feel that.

SPEAKER_02 22:58

I don't get joy out of people feeling badly, or I don't get joy out of I got them or I got her, right? But I also will always stand up for myself and for what I believe is right and what I believe is fair. And in this situation, if somebody else is negatively impacted for me standing up for myself and for me standing in my truth and fighting for what I believe in, then that just is what it is. That's not something that I can control.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:42

It sucks though. It is really difficult to carry this fight or flight with you inside of you at all times. Because life is still going at lightning speed.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

A hundred percent.

SPEAKER_02 24:01

There is no moment where you can stop and just breathe. This happens, and then you have to wipe your tears or compartmentalize how you're feeling, and then I have to show up for my people at work. And I have to show up for myself. I have to show up for my kids, and it's really it's hard. I feel like I've learned over years how to do it really well. I'm really hurt and broken inside. I'm sad about a lot, and I'm sh I'm struggling, but I'm okay. And I'm not putting a fake smile on. It's a strength that has grown inside of me over the years or a mindset.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

There are times and there are spaces where it's okay to feel those emotions, and I think you do a really good job of just separating those, and I think that's important. You have to feel the feels, but then you also have to put your finger up pants on and show up at work when you don't want to.

unknown 25:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

And you have to show up for your kids when your tank is on E. There's plenty of times where it's like I have nothing in the tank, but one of my children is melting, and I have to show up for them. And it's hard, it's really hard. So you find energy that and you find spaces that you didn't know were there. Um, but I think you do a really good job of knowing when and where you can express those, and I think that's been like an evolution of your divorce process.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

Yeah. Well, thank you for saying that. Yeah. I had a really good example in my mom and my grandmom for being really strong through adversity and still showing up, right, to do the things that you need to do. I think that as new generations come along, we learn more and more about holding it in and just pretending and saying everything's okay when it's not is not what's strong. Yeah. What's strong and what's brave is to be vulnerable and to say I'm not okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

A hundred percent.

SPEAKER_02 27:00

To share your feelings, even though it feels uncomfortable. What has helped me so much over the years is I have some really incredible people in my life that I can lean on and that I have leaned on, and I haven't had the ability to give back, and obviously, you're one of them. My siblings, my parents, I don't know if we can say names or not how that works on the podcast. But there's a couple who are their emotional support friend, and they've really been there for me. But being able to have that human connection and to say, I'm not okay when you're home alone and you are feeling really lonely and you're feeling like your world's falling apart. I don't just have someone, I have a couple of people in my life who are just the most selfless people in the world and have literally kept me here. Yeah. It takes the ability to say, dude, I'm not okay. I'm struggling right now. Like I and I need you.

SPEAKER_01 28:17

And it's hard. I'm not sure that I'm ready to share this part about my life, but there's a community that I'm very much a part of, and I think you've learned some stuff from that community, and I've definitely learned so much from that community. Reaching out is so much better than holding it in using your resources is so important, and that's what you're doing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:49

The human connection. Your group of people are the coolest people on the planet. I get emotional even when I think about my experience with all of them.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

Some of the messages that I've received from them, just unprompted, have been like so sweet. The one person said that he loved me. He's literally never said that to anyone else. And it was so sweet to me.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

It's such a beautiful community, and it's such a beautiful part of my life. And honestly, you brought that up of maybe that's something that this eventually evolves into. It's just like a community where people can share things, and there's there's no judgment. Yeah, it's just support. Sometimes people aren't actually looking for advice most of the time. Literally 95% of the time, people are not looking for advice, they're literally just looking to be heard. Do you want me to choose violence or do you want me to just listen?

SPEAKER_02 30:10

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

I'm here for either if you want to choose violence, I will 110% support you. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 30:18

Because there's nothing worse than when you open up and vent to someone and that it's not their fault, but you try to silver line things. I do it all the time. Yeah, we try to be like, well, think of it this way, or you know, at least this or at least that. And you try to make them feel better, and it actually feels shitty.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

Fuck that. Sometimes I don't want the silver lining.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

I don't want to choose to silver line the shit.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

Yeah, I want to choose violence, yeah, and I need you to support my violence. Yes. Whatever it looks like.

SPEAKER_02 30:54

Yes, I don't need you to fix my problem. I'm just here to be like, can you believe this? I just want you to validate everything I'm saying in that moment. Validate ever like, even if you know that I'm wrong, validate me. Validate everything that I'm saying in that moment.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

We can circle back to it at another point. And you can rationalize the whole thing to me, but now is not the moment. Because then you shut down. Yeah. So, men, if you're trying to understand women, just validate them in that moment. And then when they're in a calmer state, reason with that.

SPEAKER_02 31:36

Yeah. Let me give you a couple pointers. Here's some lines that you can use when your girl is sharing something with you. Stop trying to fix it. Stop. Try this. Thank you for sharing that with me. That sounds like it's really hard. How can I help support you? Would you like a hug? Thank you for sharing that with me. What do you need from me?

SPEAKER_01 32:05

Do you just want to snuggle? Nine times out of ten, I just want to be held. Right. Like that will solve 99.9% of my problems. Because I know how to fix all of them.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

Right.

SPEAKER_01 32:21

I know that I have to step up and do that, but there is vulnerability and you're just sad processing it, and you just want to hug.

SPEAKER_02 32:28

Yes. You want to feel safe and protected. Yes. Just give me a hug and that everything's going to be okay. Because when we're spiraling, we feel like the world tomorrow will not be here. 100%.

SPEAKER_01 32:44

A hug does a hell of a lot. It does. And hey, everything's gonna be okay. That's your purpose. I just need a man to tell me everything's gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_02 32:58

Should we wrap this up with a hug?

SPEAKER_00 33:00

I feel like we should.

SPEAKER_02 33:02

I feel like this is good today. I love you.

SPEAKER_00 33:07

I love you too. It'll be time for bed in thirty minutes.

SPEAKER_02 33:19

Okay, turn it off. Let's go.