Episode 3: The Best First Date Was With Each Other

This week we’re catching up on everything from Memorial Day weekend and family crab feasts to bad dates, great dates, rollerblades, Heelys, youth soccer sidelines, and the strange ways people show up in our lives.

We talk about dating after divorce, learning to trust yourself, why authenticity matters, and how sometimes the best date you’ve ever been on ends up being with your best friend instead.

Along the way we discuss a man who couldn’t hold a conversation, a dad in short shorts on rollerblades, kids who have completely forgotten how to act, and why we’re both feeling a little overcommitted to life in general.

If you’re exhausted, healing, laughing through the chaos, or just trying to figure it out as you go, welcome. You’re in the right place.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:07

We officially released our first episode on Friday.

SPEAKER_01 0:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:11

So we released on Friday and it's Memorial Day weekend right now.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

Yeah. And here we are recording our third.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

Our third episode.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

Yeah. Cheers. Cheers.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

By the way, can we stop and say thank you for your service to all of our men and women?

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Yes. We love America. We do love America.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

There is something that really brings tears to my eyes every time is gonna be the Star Spanish banner.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

You know what? Brooksy loves the Star Spanish banner. I mean it's incredible.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

Don't mind my man voice today either.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Just working through a cold.

SPEAKER_02 0:59

A cold that's never ending. She's had a sore throat for two weeks? Yeah. So my brother is a submariner in the Navy. Thanks for your service, Matt. I'm so super proud of him. But him and so he's lived in Hawaii for years and years and years. And his boat just got moved to Guam. So he brought his wife and kids home from Hawaii back to PA. They're gonna live here while he because he's gonna be deployed most of the time. Yeah. In Guam. So they're gonna live here. Her family's here, we're here, friends, all that. So we're super excited about it to have them here. But anyway, he was home for the weekend, so it was also his birthday yesterday. Our family thing, the Keach family thing, is crabs.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Love me some Maryland crabs.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

Maryland blue crab uh old bay. That's the kind of crab, the kind of crab where you have to pick them apart and work for it. Yes. I don't want to hear it's so much work. Like it's it's a craft, it's a thing, it's human connection through food, right? Sure. Listen, it is, it is, it is you sit down, you eat a meal together, and it's like you shove it in, it's done, it's over. This, you're just sitting around the table. Yeah, we'll do it all day. Yeah, and then they're so good. Like my mouth is watering, thank you. I almost ordered more last night. They're so good. But that's we do it at least once a year, and that was the keeps side of the family. That was our thing with my papy, so many great memories with my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, bushels of crabs, and I just love it. Anyway, so we did that. This is her long story short, by the way. My brother only wanted just the siblings and everybody's partners there for the crabs. So it's my brother and his wife, my sister and her fiance, my parents and me, and Jaeger.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Yeah. Her partner.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

Business partner? Business partner? Yeah. Whatever you want.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

I think there's a lot of question marks about it, but there is there is nothing, it's it's just friendship.

SPEAKER_02 3:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:45

Just to be crystal clear, everyone.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

Yeah. But the dynamic of my family is just I mean, I'm biased because it's my family.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

First of all, Blake was hilarious. He was. Blake, Blake kept saying he said that he made the same joke like six times of like, oh, what's it like the same guy that's just liking all of your videos and he liked it like three thousand times? Six times.

SPEAKER_02 4:18

So I was telling that we've had we've had like 38,000 likes on our videos so far in less than 30 days. We're like, it's so cool. And so then my dad, the whole the whole time, somebody new would come in, you'd be like, hey, they'd ask about the podcast, and he'd be like, Yeah, I keep telling her, who's this creep that can has liked your liked your post 30,000 times?

SPEAKER_01 4:47

It's one creep just one dude watching your video on repeat. Which could be true. It could be.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

If it is, thanks, dude.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:00

So Blake he'll tell like he's got his dad jokes.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

Donna. Donna just ran around. Donna just ran around the whole time. I showed up with homemade pasta salad and sourdough chocolate chip cookies. Yep. And Nicole rolled in with the smallest tub of potato salad that was purchased from Pupper Nicks. And she was like, but I got out of my car and went into the store. She wanted like an award for that?

SPEAKER_02 5:32

Because I didn't DoorDash it.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

Okay, but it also was enough serving. Like everyone at the party could have had a tablespoon.

SPEAKER_02 5:41

Because I no one was gonna eat the potato salad, but Dana wanted the potato salad.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

I actually really like potato salad. Did you eat any of that? No, because I wanted other people to enjoy it. I was like, I would like more than a tablespoon. Alright, alright. CJ and I were more domesticated and did more of the cleaning up at the event than you and Wu. Yeah. And CJ. So who said it? Someone one of them said it like, oh yeah, neither one of them are real domesticated. I think my brother said that. Neither one of them ended up being domesticated. Which I am domesticated. You are. We also talk about where your parents store their trash can. Why did it's been like that my whole life. It's your whole life. My whole entire life. And they have space. They redid their kitchen. They could have gotten a cabinet that stored the trash can under. I'm pretty sure it's the same trash can that's been there my whole entire life, too. I think you know what Santa's gonna bring this year. It's a new trash can. They store their trash can in the pantry on the floor. So like the trash can is on the floor and then all the fresh food is above it. Well, it's not fresh food. Well, it's pantry food.

SPEAKER_02 7:05

Listen, the Chef Boy RD ravioli isn't gonna be impacted by the trash can.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

I know, but it's just like the visual. Like I just think about the things that I put in my trash can. I I never really thought about it until you guys were saying it yesterday. No, there was like a young child that was like, why is your trash can in the pantry? And she was like three years old.

SPEAKER_02 7:29

Oh my god. Well, Donna is like so Donna told us this story yesterday about the funeral that she went to.

unknown 7:38

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

So Donna's the type of person who goes through McDonald's drive-through and pays for her order and then drives away from drives away without her food.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

She's done it multiple times. Multiple times. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

SPEAKER_02 7:57

So one of her colleagues at work, our father passed away, and there was a funeral and it was on a Thursday. So Donna is getting ready, goes to the funeral home, walks in the funeral, signs the guess book. Signs the guess book. She said she was like waiting outside and she's like, none of my teacher friends are here. Like, I don't, I don't know, they must be running late or something. I'm just gonna go in. Goes in, signs the guess book, goes inside, and is like, hmm, recognize anybody. Then gets the the card that says who it is, and she's like, that's not that's not her father. So goes and like asks the guy, are there are there two funerals here at the same time? He's like, uh, no, let me go check for you. Comes back comes back and is like, his funeral's next Thursday. So she went to the wrong funeral. Oh I just picture her going up to like the casket and like paying her respects and going through the line of people and just having no clue, you know?

SPEAKER_01 9:14

Having no clue. You would hope by that point she would have been like, hold on. I need to start asking some questions. But it was a fun day that we had yesterday, I think. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

Lots of laughs. We taught all the little kids how to do the Macarena.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

Oh, did that happen after I left?

SPEAKER_02 9:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

Good for them. The girls were it was fun. I've done that with my Girl Scout troops. Have you? Yeah. And it is real fun. Yeah. I think I was slightly more into it than they were, but we did the electric all the good stuff. All the goodies.

unknown 9:49

Huh?

SPEAKER_01 9:50

Cat and Joe? Yeah. Where did you come from? Where did you go? Should we talk about the difference of yeah yeah, yeah, no, no, yeah?

SPEAKER_02 9:59

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no.

SPEAKER_01 10:01

Yeah no, yeah. So what does yeah no mean to you?

SPEAKER_02 10:08

Yeah no means like, yeah, I agree with you.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

Cause I feel like yeah no can sometimes actually mean no to me. Like, depending on the circumstance. Okay. Like I feel like my gut immediately says yes to everything, and then I'm like, hold hold on, no. Yeah, it could be be like, yeah, no, we're not doing that. Right. Or it could be like, yeah, no, it's fine. Right. Or it could be like, yeah, no, we're totally doing that. Right, exactly. So like it could give them the context, it could mean anything. Right. But like, yeah, yeah, definitely means yes. But no, yeah, like, no, yeah, I agree. Right, for sure. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 11:03

Well, I think we found ourselves listening to ourselves on tape. Now we have all these random things that we say. So hopefully we get to speaking better in the future, a lot less likes and ums, but thank heavens for AI.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

If you wonder why it's so choppy, it's because we're we're taking out the thousands of like some of the pauses are healthy and necessary. For sure, but we take time to think. Yeah, we have to sort through all the thoughts that are I was chopping up one of them, and I there was you said something, and there was like a a two-second pause, and then you were like, yeah, and then there was like a four-second pause, and then it got to the actual thought. So, like the reality is see, I just said like the reality is is it took you like a good six seconds to get to that complete thought. Yep. Which is standard protocol, so expect it to continue to be choppy.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

That'll do it.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

It's gonna be choppy. Can I talk about Silverado? I feel like people have asked.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

I do think you promised a circle back to that, and I think you owe it to the people.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Yeah. So Silverado and I, Silverado picked me up at my house. He is He does frequently go to church, like he was like a but like I didn't find this out until like the date. Until I was like, what are you doing tomorrow? And he's like, I'm going to church. And I was like, Which that's fine. I give credit to people that do that. It's not my cup of tea, more of a spiritual person. But kudos to you. So I felt pretty safe in this overall. Makes sense, you know. But uh we went to watch the Flyers game, which might have been a huge mistake. He was, and remember you said like what's wrong with him? Yeah. Oh, I I found out. Tell me, go on. He was he was dull. And like a bit of a snooze fest. Yeah. I can hold a conversation with a lot of variety of people.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

You're very good at that.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

And I can get in-depth with people rather quickly. Like people feel a sense of like warmness. Yeah. And there was a point where we were there was a commercial break in the Flyers game, and he turned to me and locked eyes, and nothing came out of his mouth. But at that point, I had asked so many questions, and they were unreciprocated, that I didn't, I was like, I'm gonna leave this up to him at this point. You know? So he locked eyes with me for a few seconds and then didn't say anything, and then turned back around to watch the commercial break of the flyers game. And the flyers game wasn't over, but I was like, I'm gonna head home. I can like drive myself. I was like, I'll get an Uber.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

And he was like, no, no, that's okay. I'll take you home.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

And I felt bad because we like left in the middle of like the second period, but I was like, I'm not gonna be able to like fight through this.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

So having him pick you up, huge mistake, huge mistake.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

Two thumbs up, two thumbs down. Yeah, and I was like fighting a colt, so I like sounded congested. Yeah, and I gave him a heads up, and so I gave him like the the cheek hug in the Silverado. He went in for the like Yeah, and then it lingered. I should have just gotten the handle and just opened, yeah, but no, it's such an awkward part of the date. Yes, it is an awkward part of the date, and I gotta imagine that men are thinking about that moment like the whole time.

SPEAKER_02 15:32

Probably, because they have to initiate it, right?

SPEAKER_00 15:38

100%.

SPEAKER_02 15:39

God, I hope I mean that would be a whole nother.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Yeah, if I had to initiate a make out. I I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

So it wouldn't happen.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Right.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

I'm not an initiator in that sense.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

I am if I'm in a relationship, but not yeah. Yeah. Anyway, Silverado and I talked for like a couple of days, and then it just it just kind of Silverado is not a thing anymore. So one and done. One and done, you know.

SPEAKER_02 16:19

Don't you spend the time going out on a date in person so that you can have conversation to get to know people? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

And I even did a preemptive phone call with him. Because I was like, that is something that, like, if you can weed people out on a phone call. Like, if your voice sounds weird, see a like if you have a high-pitched voice.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

I would get weeded out right now with my voice.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

A phone date right now, they would be like, they'd be like zero out of ten. Would not recommend. And he seemed dull on the phone call. You can't be with a dull person. No. No. I could be with someone that's duller than me. But they have to have like a really good sense of humor and the ability to laugh.

unknown 17:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:23

But duller, okay, not dull.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Right.

SPEAKER_02 17:28

But I don't even think duller is a good way to explain it.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

No, that's I don't even think that's a word in the English definite dictionary. It's not a word. Dollar? More dull. I'm duller than you. Duly duller. Um, yeah, no, I don't think I could be like I could be with someone that had less oomph. Right.

SPEAKER_02 17:53

Well, you have a really big personality, so I had a lot of oomph. Wait, I have an experience of a dull, no conversation date as well.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

Oh, do tell.

SPEAKER_02 18:12

Alright. So this is a little uh don't judge me.

SPEAKER_01 18:19

We're all judging. Don't judge me. Alright, so you can't even get it out. Are you nervous or are you just trying to rephrase it so that they don't know that it's exactly them? Because I do think this podcast is gonna impact our dating life.

SPEAKER_02 18:35

Yeah, that's fine. You know what? It is what it is. You know what? My dating life has been over a hundred anyway. So at least I'll have fun this way.

unknown 18:47

Thing.

SPEAKER_02 18:48

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

At least the audience gets a chuckle.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

I know. I just don't want to hurt anybody's feelings who were nice. Yeah, now if you weren't nice and you messed with me, you better briefs for your feelings. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

Yeah. Because we don't have any space for those.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

There's somebody that I'm thinking of that I have on my list of notes of stories to tell about.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

And you know exactly who you are.

SPEAKER_02 19:17

Mm-hmm. A literal horrible human being.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

Not great.

SPEAKER_02 19:23

Anyway, let's back right. So this guy was like a very nice human being. So I don't want to hurt his feelings, but you know, I gotta tell the funny story. So, especially when people can deal with me with like I can't be on time.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

Usually late, but worth the wait.

SPEAKER_02 19:47

I can't be on time. I'm a horrible texter. Sometimes I'll be really good texting, and sometimes I'll be really bad, but I s I still like the attention and like somebody pursuing me, right? 100%. If I feel like I'm doing the pursuing, I'm all out, right? So very kind in so many different ways. He was never married, he's in his 40s, never married, never had kids. And I started trying that out. Maybe that's okay. There's a lot that you can't really connect on. And I don't know. I don't know if if I ever find my person. Like, I'm not holding that out as it's something that's a bad thing by any means. But when you have kids versus when you don't have kids, life's just kind of different.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

Someone actually brought that up to me this week of like what's better being like dating someone that has kids and that was married and is divorced, or dating someone that's been forever single. Right. Honestly, it's a hodgepodge in my history book at this point.

SPEAKER_02 21:05

Yeah, it's more difficult with kids for a lot of different reasons. The scheduling, if you get lucky enough to have the same on and off schedule, that's great. But there's also a sense of there's an understanding being a parent and all of that, yeah. You know, it's nice to have like this person schedule-wise, he just worked around my schedule, yeah, which was was great. So, anyway, we went out to dinner twice, and I felt the same way. I did a lot of the talking, yeah. And I love that, you know. I want somebody to get to know me as much as I'm getting to know them. But uh he asked questions and stuff. I think it was more of maybe a shyness, yeah. And then I think we have a we were planning a third date. Because in my mind I was like, if I'm not a definite no, then see where it goes for a little bit, right? Yeah. So on our third date, he had tickets to the Sixers game.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

They were like floor seats.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

Dude, they were floor seats, second row. They were incredible seats. And I love any, like, I'm a Philly sports fan. I love any live sporting event. So I'm like super pumped. And my brother is a huge Sixers fan, always has been, even for all their sucking. So I'm like texting him. We're sitting like right behind the announcers on TV in the background. So I'm super pumped about this. I met him at his house, and then he drove to the game and then drove back. He did not talk to me basically the whole entire time. He wasn't cocky or anything like that. No conversation. Like not a single thing. I literally sat there and I had it was awesome. Yeah. Didn't talk to me the whole entire time. Great experience because I got to go to a Sixers game. Oh, I got these sweet kicks to match it. You know? Because I had to match my outfit.

SPEAKER_01 23:40

Yeah. You borrow Brooksy's jerseys. Yeah, I borrowed Brooksy's jerseys. And I actually got two that year. Botched that one.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

So no conversation and dullness. It's just if there's if there's not that intensity and connection, it's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

But at the same time, like I feel like when you're in a relationship, like when you like pass that point and you're like, there is this comfort of like okay, we just like left a game and I'm like probably overstimulated, and like I could use that like downtime and so just like sitting in silence and being comfortable to sit in the town. Oh for sure. But like on a third date. No. Can we talk about the other sports event? The best date I've ever had in my life.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

Our both of our best first date ever. Oh my gosh, yes, this is a great all right. So here's what here's what happened. I think these were both around the same time, too.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

It was these were within a couple of weeks.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

Yeah. I feel like I was on a kick of getting invited to sporting events, which is great. If you ever want to take me to a sporting event, hello.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

But only if you have really good seats.

SPEAKER_02 25:00

I started chatting with this guy, and he was super fun to text with back and forth. Seemed like he had a really good sense of humor, was had like a big personality and stuff. So anyway, we're he was like asking about going on a date or something, and this was around the time my fantasy team literally gave a little bit of a backstory. So my fantasy team, I missed the draft, so it auto-picked my team for me. So I spent the whole season like making all these trades and changing things around before every game, and I did awesome. You missed it?

SPEAKER_01 25:44

Yes, I forgot I just forgot about it. Zero surprise. But the waiver wire, that's where you like that's if you play the waiver wire, right?

SPEAKER_02 25:54

It it picked my team and it was my team was horrible. But I ended up making some adjustments. I ended up in the league second or third or something like that. But anyway, I was job well done. I know, thank you. Job well done. Thank you. I love football season, I love the it's Sunday, and you can just be cozy in your house and watch football all day long and the competition of it all. So I love it. So we were chatting about that, and he was like, Well, wouldn't it be cool if our first date was an Eagles game? And I was like, a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

Yeah, those tickets aren't cheap.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

I would a hundred percent love that to be our first date. So I thought he was just like BSing. Well, he wasn't. So he had messaged me, just got two tickets for Sunday, would it be my date? I was like, for sure, for sure I will be. And then throughout the week, he was telling me he wasn't feeling well and stuff, and I'm already like, okay, he didn't actually get Eagles tickets, like he's not even sick, yeah, he's just bailing. Who knows if he's even real catally bailing, so I'm already in my mind like checked out on this dude. Well, I think it was maybe Friday. He was like, I'm like so worried that I might have to cancel on a date. And I just responded with an emoji going, kind of like, kind of like, yeah, dude, you cancel on your first date with me. You don't get another shot.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

That is the shot.

SPEAKER_02 27:38

It's done, right? You shot your shot. It's all over. So he's like, I'll let you know, hopefully, I'll feel better tomorrow, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 27:49

So Sunday morning comes along, and I remember I was talking to you because I was like, This dude's gonna Yeah, no, you were giving me like the whole thing, and you're like, I was gonna go to the Eagles game and now I'm not. Yeah, like now he's sick, right?

SPEAKER_02 28:03

So he wakes up Sunday morning and he calls me, and he's like, I feel like shit, and I was like, Okay, no problem, it's all good. He's like, Do you have anyone else that you'd want to take with on a date with you to the Eagles game? And I was like, What? I was like, Yeah, of course I do, because I knew you would go with me. I was like, Yeah, of course I do. So you just let me know how much it costs. I'll you know, if I mow you the money, just let me know. He was like, no way, there is no way I would allow you to give me money for that. I felt weird about it, but I was like, I mean, the tickets are gonna go to waste, and he was offering it, so I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

Listen, I didn't feel weird about it for a second. I was like, sweet, I get to go to an Eagles game and it snowed that morning, so we like bundled up. We had sick fits of insurance, our vibes were on point. Insert pick of us at the field right here because our fits were sick. They were, and we did that like we pulled that together like last minute.

SPEAKER_02 29:17

We did. So, dude, really, I like hang up with him, and then I get the tickets transferred over to me. And I'm like, no, Gagger. I really got I really got tickets. So this was the greatest first date I ever had because it was with you.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

Yeah, no, it was so fun. And the tickets, they were like row 10 or something. We were so close, and they were like in an end zone. It was amazing. We were so close to the field. I've never been that field. Because we obviously showed up late. I remember being at the Wawa and we were like getting sandwiches before we went, and some guy was like, You know, nice outfit, and I was like, Thanks. And he goes, You go into the game, and I was like, Yeah, we're just running late and goes typical women. All that tracks, it all tracks for us, yeah. But we had a great time, we were like the last people to leave our section because we were dancing in the rows, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:18

That's my new thing when I go to a concert or a game or something, is I stay till the bitter end until the people just kick us out.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

Then I think that it's a new thing, you've been doing it for a couple of years, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:34

But why not just chill and hang out and you beat some of the crowd that way on the back end?

SPEAKER_01 30:45

I don't know that you beat the crowd. I think you just wait the crowd out.

SPEAKER_03 30:49

Yeah, that's what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

Two different things. Beating the crowd would be leaving before the encore. I don't like doing that. I know you don't, because the encore is like the best part of the show. Like the encore of Zach Bryan. So good.

unknown 31:08

I know.

SPEAKER_02 31:08

And how do you just set yourself up for being in the crowd where you're just stuck with all these people walking down all the steps, like trying to rush? What are you rushing for? You're not getting anywhere. You rush to get into your car to just sit there and wait in line.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

That situation actually gives me a tremendous amount of anxiety. Like when we went to Rufus, first of all, that whatever stadium that was in, the engineer that that designed that, or the architect, did a horrific job.

SPEAKER_02 31:40

Where were we? Was it Nissan's?

SPEAKER_01 31:41

It was it where were we?

SPEAKER_02 31:43

I forget.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

It was the soccer stadium in for New York City. Yeah, it was horrible. It was horribly designed. The location of it, horribly designed. Like horrible location, bad design.

unknown 31:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

Like you had to walk up steps and then walk across things and then back down steps to get, and no one knew where they were going, but also just like entering, it was like so many people were trying to enter at one time, and I was like, I'm like claustrophobic. And it was there was zero airflow in an open stadium. Oh, remember how hot it was? It was so hot. Great concert, amazing, amazing concert. I've never been to I actually hadn't listened to a single song of Rufus before I went to the concert, and I drove home and listened to him them for like three hours. Yeah.

unknown 32:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:36

And I like loved it. Like, I would go again. Not at that stadium.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

No.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

I didn't even think the sound quality was that great. But the concert, like, them as artists was awesome. It was my first. What do you call that? Like electronic?

SPEAKER_02 32:52

Yeah, is that EDM or is that like Yeah, I guess it's EDM. I think they call it I think they consider themselves Australian dance. I think we need I think we need the fact. I think we need a fact check.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

Fact check. Fact check.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

Let's ask Arbor. Hey Arbor, what kind of music is Rufus de Soul? Rufus de Soul makes electronic music that's often described as melodic house or indie electronic. They blend lush atmospheric sounds with emotional vocals and a danceable thing. It's great for both chilling out and for moving on the dance.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

I will say that one part that I liked about that type of music is there weren't a lot of lyrics. You know, so there's like singleton. Like you for going in and not knowing a single song, I could like sing lyrics with the author. You felt a part of it?

SPEAKER_02 33:44

So true.

SPEAKER_01 33:45

You know? Yeah. And we got to dress super funky. No, I wore my free Chris shirt. Which is a great t-shirt. It's a great t-shirt. It's a great t-shirt. Free Chris, till it's backwards. You know? Shout out to him. Shout out, Chris. Wait, can we talk about just soccer sideline? Yeah. Sometimes I can really contain myself, like when I'm watching my child. Yeah. And then when girls put their hands on Lucy, that's when I get like fired up.

SPEAKER_03 34:23

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

So Lucy and her soccer team, they were winning. They were winning. By like two goals. But the ref wasn't calling anything, and the girls on the other team were getting real chippy. And Lucy is like a rule follower, and she'll play a real clean game. So I was just giving her the permission to get a little spicy. You know? But the crowd quieted it down. And I yelled, throw as many elbows as you want. The ref isn't calling anything. And my mom was like, mortified that I said it. And then another one of my good soccer moms was like, Oh my god, thank you so much for saying that. I feel like you were trying to cover up the aggressive thing that I said minutes before. Like the people next to me were like, and like, yeah, the ref was like 18 years old. Am I proud of myself? No.

SPEAKER_02 35:27

But at the same time, I become very protective of my kids too when I see it. But I played soccer my whole life and I was very aggressive. Yeah. So I was I was that kid who parents would be pissed off at. I remember at this one game we were at, there was a dad heckling me. I used to wear two different color socks. That was like my thing. And there was this dad like heckling me. Because I would like I push the boundaries, right? I would.

SPEAKER_01 36:05

It doesn't surprise me.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

Yeah. And my dad walked up to this dude behind him and whispered in his ear as he was like on the sideline heckling me and being like, hey buddy, that two socks you're yelling at, that's my daughter.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

And and you know, Blake. Right. Dude, Blake is a character. Blake is incredible. Dude I still think about the the rollerblading story. That is an image, but you just can't get out of your head. And it's like, I kind of want to get Blake some blades for his birthday, for like Father's Day.

SPEAKER_00 36:52

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 36:53

Like if he invites me over for crabs again, which fingers crossed. Although he told me I disappointed him yesterday. Blake is hilarious. Wait, can we talk about this rollerblading story? Yeah, no, this story is a dime.

SPEAKER_02 37:15

So for those of you that know Blake today, you're gonna think it's hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 37:21

But just imagine Blake today, like the image of Blake today. Yeah. Rollerblading, because that's immediately what I go to.

SPEAKER_02 37:29

Yeah. So my dad has a big belly, but like back in the day, he got really into rollerblading. He got really like really into rollerblading.

SPEAKER_01 37:42

Makes me want to get a pair of blades.

SPEAKER_02 37:45

So and he'd wear like short, short rollerblading. So my grandparents lived kind of nearby, and they must have been away or something. And they needed, I think he was like staining their deck or something like that. And so he's like, I'm gonna rollerblade over there. So Blake straps on his rollerblades and straps on his shorts, shorts, and rollerblades over to my grandparents' house. And goes inside, and I they must have like changed the alarm code or something because they the alarm went off. And so here's Blake in rollerblades and short shorts, like standing in the garage trying to get a hold of my mom. This is when they had house phones at the time. So like he couldn't call from a cell phone. So he must have taken his rollerblades off, went inside, was like trying to call my mom from the house phone. The cops get there, pull their gun on him. Pull their gun on him in my grandparents' house with the short shorts on, and he's probably all sweaty from rollerblading. And like he can't get a hold of anyone, he can't get a hold of my grandparents, he can't get a hold of my mom. Oh god. So yeah. Blake was a pretty intense rollerblad at one point.

SPEAKER_01 39:17

Oh man. It makes me want to get a pair of blades. We should. I've thought about it. I'm not gonna say I happen to have them in a cart. You know?

SPEAKER_03 39:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

Did I execute the cart? Probably not. But they've definitely been in a shopping cart. I mean, we live close enough where we can blade.

SPEAKER_02 39:38

Why don't people rollerblade and do stuff like that anymore? Like, where is everybody outside?

SPEAKER_01 39:44

I don't know. They have these motorized scooters and bikes now. Bring the blades back, babes. Yeah. Bring the blades or the heelys back? We had a brief time with the Heelys.

SPEAKER_02 39:57

Oh my gosh, I'll never forget when we got your Heelys.

SPEAKER_01 40:03

My dad was so pissed. Was he? Yeah. Why? Because he gave me, I was like, Dad, I want to go spring shopping. And he's like, Alright, here's a hundred bucks. And I came back with a single pair of Heelys. And he was like, so you didn't get a stitch of spring clothing. And he was like, but I got a pair of Heelys. He's pissed. He's not happy about that one.

SPEAKER_02 40:27

So we got so excited that we got he and this was this had to be, we must have been in 11th or 12th grade. Like way too old to be hap owning a pair of Healy. No, we were in college. I remember I had them in college because I would always wear, I'd like to jump out on the dance floor. People would be like, yo, look at our boots, because I was like gliding across the dance floor.

SPEAKER_01 40:48

I would like Healy to the front of the class to get my paper and then my Healy back. Yes. They'd be like Christina and I'd be like so good. And we would just always make that noise. They were sick. I know. I also thought about getting them for me and my kids. That'd be fun. They still make them. I know.

SPEAKER_02 41:09

I think I bought William a pair for Christmas sometime. But in Shippensburg, there's basically only one bar in Shippensburg, Wibbs, and it like sits at the top of it sits at the top of the hill. And I'd wear my Heelys every night because at the bottom of the hill was our house. And it was all when you go into our house, it was all wood floor, and my room was like at the back. So when I left the bar at night from Whitz, I would just Healy, I'd literally just Healy down right up to my front door, through the front door, back through my house, straight into my bed, and boom, ready to bed.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

Dude, it's so good.

SPEAKER_02 41:54

But do you remember what happened at the Montgomery Mall when we bought the Healys?

unknown 42:00

No.

SPEAKER_02 42:01

Dude, we were so excited to try them. So we were just healing, we strapped them all up and we were like, yeah, let's do it. So we just healy down the mall. So immature. We were so excited that we left my like clutch wallet on the bench where we were putting them on. And we realized and we're like, crap, we have to go back. And we went back and my wallet was gone. Somebody stole it.

SPEAKER_01 42:30

Do you not remember this? I'm it's like coming back to me now. Yeah. It's coming back to me now. Dude, Rocky had to see me Deion in the car. Jeff's kissed.

SPEAKER_02 42:44

Yeah. So my car keys were in there too. So we had driven the Yukon over. The keys were gone. We couldn't get back in the car. So I'm like, come on, my car, my dad's gonna kill me. So lost my wallet, lost the keys to the car. We had to have, I guess, my dad come pick me back up. But years later, I got a call from the Montgomeryville mall security team. And they they must have been doing a renovation or something. They found my wallet shoved up in the tiles of the men's bathroom. And I remember there were two dudes sitting on the bench, and we walked up to them and we were like, Do you guys have the wallet? And they're like, no, no. So they must have known.

SPEAKER_01 43:34

Yeah. So I got that wallet back and everything. Dude, that's a win, right? Because I lost my wallet five months ago. I lost my wallet when I went to the Eagles game with the guy that I was hating, and I don't. It's like magnetic, so I don't know if it like cling to something.

SPEAKER_02 43:53

It must be just stuck to something somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 43:55

Yeah. But I swear it's still in his car.

SPEAKER_02 43:58

Probably. But we brought.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

Up so there's zero chance of me getting that back. That's when I decided to replace the carts.

SPEAKER_02 44:04

Yeah, you're not getting that back.

SPEAKER_01 44:05

Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

So well, we'll have a nice reminder of you when he finds it.

SPEAKER_01 44:11

Yeah. I don't even want to touch that one with a ten-foot pole.

unknown 44:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 44:16

We don't have to.

SPEAKER_01 44:18

But you deserved better and he didn't treat you. And I know that we have like different opinions about this because it was like towards the end that he didn't. Right. But like he was really good to me until that point. Right.

SPEAKER_02 44:34

Which is great. Once I mean the honeymoon phase of every relationship is well, hopefully they're treating you good. Right.

SPEAKER_01 44:44

But like was it the end of the honeymoon phase or was it just like shit that was going on? I don't know. I guess we'll never know. At this point.

SPEAKER_02 44:56

I guess we'll never know.

SPEAKER_01 44:57

I guess we'll never know.

SPEAKER_02 44:59

You know what's pretty crazy though? What? People can pretend for a long time to be someone that they're not.

SPEAKER_01 45:10

Yes. A hundred percent. I also don't expect perfection in a relationship either. No.

SPEAKER_02 45:21

I not at all. I act like the when people expect perfection out of me, it stresses me out because I'm far from perfect. Right. Being a different but like being a different human being than you pretend to be is and I like go into a relationship going, here's my red flags, here's what you're gonna hate about me, here's what's throwing my other relationships. Like, I'm never on time. I cannot be on time. Every once in a while, like we have a wedding to go to or something like that, I'll be on time, but I am it is a problem that I have, yeah. And you're not gonna change me. So if it's something that's really important to you and that annoys you, I'm not your match. Right, right? Like, and it's not because I don't care, it's not because I'm trying to be disrespectful, it's something I truly struggle with. You do, and you know, amongst all whatever all my other, which there's plenty of flaws and red flags are, because I just don't want to waste all that time. I want to be like, this is what's gonna annoy you about me. I truly show up genuinely as as who I am from day one when I go into things. Yeah. And I guess I expect the same out of people that I've dated, and that has not been the case for me at all.

SPEAKER_01 46:52

I have more of like an expectation of just like growth and openness and vulnerability, and there was like clearly something else going on where I felt like shut out, and I think that's the part that like bothered that bothered me the most. Like you can run through your red flags, and most of the time I'm like, that's not even a red flag. But like it can be like, and it can be and it probably should be. But I also am a firm believer of like, you know, people make mistakes in life, and they shouldn't be penalized for them for the rest of their life, you know what I mean? Like who I was in high school is not who I am today. Who I was two years ago is not who I am today. So, like, I don't like to judge people fully on their past, but there is just this where are you at? Like, what are you doing? Are you growing or are you staying the same?

SPEAKER_02 48:07

Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_01 48:10

Because staying the same is what got you into this place in the first. Like, that's how we all ended up here, right? Yeah, we're both divorced, and I take accountability, like it takes two to tango. Like, I messed up in my marriage. I made mistakes, right?

SPEAKER_02 48:29

And so did he. Yeah. And I did not make any. Yeah, just kidding.

SPEAKER_01 48:37

Just kidding. I'm tough.

SPEAKER_02 48:39

I'm tough.

SPEAKER_01 48:41

But I mean, it's it's it's not it's not about the mistake. No, and I tell tell my team this at work like, I don't care that you've made mistakes. It's the steps that you take after them. And it's your reality.

SPEAKER_02 48:59

Oh, kids in the background.

SPEAKER_01 49:01

This is the last time I will ever try to do this. So it's not about the mistake, it's the steps that you take after the mistake. Everyone messes up. Yeah. Take ownership, come up with a solution, or ask someone to help you with a solution. And it's the same thing I teach my kids. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:22

But there's a difference. There's a difference between making a mistake and not being like a good person. Like, for example, you date someone for a year and a half, right? And you intertwine your families and your kids and all that, and all the while you are communicating on a daily basis with another woman, like really inappropriately. Oh. Like s like making that conscious decision over and over and over. Yeah. Or you like No, that's a bad. That is a shitty human being.

SPEAKER_01 50:05

That's a terrible human being.

SPEAKER_02 50:08

Or like you made a serious commitment to someone and your kids and your families and all that, and I don't know if I'm ready to share that part yet, but then just completely abandon them as they're going through something really awful and really terrible that you were a part of. That's what I'm saying. You make mistakes all the time, but there are core moral things. Yeah. Like being unfaithful and abandoning somebody when you are the person who should be stepping up to the plate more than anything at that time.

SPEAKER_01 50:54

Yeah, 100% agree. I don't think that that's not the case.

SPEAKER_02 51:00

That's not the case for you. That was the case for me in one of my relationships. And listen, I'll say this. You're not gonna hear me, and I know you feel the same way on this podcast, speak about our ex-husbands ever. We're not gonna say a word. Because that's the father of our children, and that is something, a boundary that I'll I'll never cross.

SPEAKER_01 51:27

Agreed. I'm not. So don't ask questions about that. It's off limits. Right. But dating.

SPEAKER_02 51:34

Dating. Sky's the limit. So yeah. I have like I've been really hurt, really, really hurt by somebody. And really let down by somebody. And it also sounds like you've really been misled. Totally misled, but I've I've believed in this person over and over, and they've come back to me over and over and over and been like, I'm doing this, I'm starting therapy, let's do therapy together. You know, all the right things. And I like I believed in this person. Yeah. I wanted to love this person to his potential of being what he was promising to be. But he was a liar, he was unfaithful, he was he was a fraud of a human being. I'm sorry. But I put myself through so much more in that relationship than I ever should have. And what is it? Is it like is it the belief in potential in someone, or is it the I already put so much effort into this? Or you feel like maybe you're not good enough? I feel like it's a combination.

SPEAKER_01 52:51

Right. Right? Like it's it's all those things. And it's because I think your relationship almost played a part in whatever I was going through where it was just like I maybe I pulled the trigger too fast, I don't know. Right. Maybe I dodged a bullet, I don't know. But like I did it, but also out of like protectiveness of myself, because it's like you go through these like heartbreaking scenarios and you're like, am I just gonna continue to be let down? Like, because my body has like a physical reaction, and I am not I don't suffer from anxiety, I suffer from depression. I think about the past and I replay it over and over again until it's nauseating. But I generally don't worry about the future, which is most people suffer from both, but like I generally do not care about the future.

SPEAKER_02 53:56

Not like you're not worried, am I gonna be alone forever? What's my future gonna look like?

SPEAKER_01 54:01

No, because I feel like you're getting you're getting too far ahead, like I just don't worry about that stuff.

SPEAKER_02 54:07

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 54:09

But that's not to say that I don't suffer from depression, right? You know, like the amount of times that I replay things that have happened in my head It's nauseating.

SPEAKER_02 54:22

I know, and I see it so much differently. Like you are really hard on yourself.

SPEAKER_01 54:29

I well, I think everyone is always their worst, unless you're a narcissist, but I think you're always your worst critic. True. Like I'm harder on myself than anyone will ever be on me.

SPEAKER_02 54:44

Yeah, but you are extra. I think we're all hard on ourselves, but I also think you blame yourself for so much that you shouldn't blame yourself for.

SPEAKER_01 54:55

Yeah. Well, I guess that's why I'm still in therapy.

SPEAKER_02 55:02

There everybody should always be in therapy forever. Therapy is dope. 100%. 100%. Just having somebody to just bend to and talk to.

SPEAKER_01 55:14

Yeah. And having tools to it's just an hour a week or every other week that you at least have someone that's a hundred percent on your side. Although she has told me when I'm in the wrong, though. And that's important. You did not handle this situation correctly. That's what we need.

SPEAKER_02 55:32

That's that's important though. We need that.

SPEAKER_01 55:35

Yeah, right? You were actually wrong the way that you handled it. So you need that.

SPEAKER_02 55:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 55:41

That's part of a good therapist.

SPEAKER_02 55:44

Anything else that you've overcommitted to or that you're underqualified for?

SPEAKER_01 55:49

I mean, I did put some landscaping rocks at the bottom of my deck. Oh, okay. Didn't get HOA approval, not sure how that's gonna pan out. We'll wait and see. But I feel like it's gonna be a vast improvement, but do I know anything about landscaping and laying drainage rocks? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Did I order $80 worth of stuff to be delivered from Home Depot, which is also in my backyard? Absolutely. Got delivered on a Sunday night at like 6 p.m. and then laid it after the sun went down.

SPEAKER_02 56:26

And by laying it, what do you mean?

SPEAKER_01 56:28

I mean, I threw the bags of rocks down the steps, opened them, and then spread them out with my hand, and then I just put six concrete decorative blocks on top. Didn't layer, didn't level. How does it look? It actually looks great. Like my brother was standing on it, and I was like, it is a little bit wobbly. It'll settle in. How does it settle? It's real muddy there. It'll settle in. And he was like, Oh yeah, this'll settle. Good job. Yeah, you can do it on our own. I feel like that was a win. That is a win, you know? It was just super muddy. So I power washed my deck, and then Carl like instantly brought mud back on the deck, and I was like, this we gotta. That's not gonna work for me. No, it's not gonna work. No. What have you overcommitted to that you're underqualified?

SPEAKER_02 57:27

I feel like the end of the school year is coming with the kids, and camp is about to be here, and work is crazy, and the podcast is super fun. Really enjoy my time doing it. Um anybody else's kids horribly behaved this Memorial Day weekend?

SPEAKER_01 57:52

Oh my god, I can hear the tears.

SPEAKER_02 57:54

My kids are just constantly fighting. They're constantly fighting.

SPEAKER_01 58:00

I don't think it's it's the weather. When it rains and they're like locked inside, like they just need fresh air and to to just be outside. And there's like no scheduled activities. It's difficult.

SPEAKER_02 58:17

You always silver line the thing. I but my kids have just been like at each other's throats lately.

SPEAKER_01 58:25

Mine too. They're about to get a reckoning. Reckoning. I mean, I'm gonna lay down the wall.

SPEAKER_02 58:32

So I just feel like I'm overcommitted to life in general.

SPEAKER_01 58:35

You know? Same. I forgot about end of school year.

SPEAKER_03 58:39

I know.

SPEAKER_01 58:40

Because I'm gonna have to start planning the end of school year party. And I think I signed up for the ABC countdown in kindergarten. I need a vacation.

SPEAKER_02 58:50

Does anyone have any vacation ideas for us? Or want to take us on a vacation.

SPEAKER_03 58:58

I am saying I'm not making the games. Well, I'm not doing anything.

SPEAKER_01 59:06

He's saying he doesn't want me to be a baby. He hurt my feelings. He made me yell. Yell. No one does. Why don't you take a deep breath? We're gonna take we're gonna we're gonna wrap this up.