SPEAKER_04 0:02

Alrighty, episode 10. Here we go. This episode is brought to you by Waterloo Guava Berry.

SPEAKER_06 0:12

Oh my god. Not kidding. You're acting like a bigger or something.

SPEAKER_04 0:15

They're not paying for anything. Um so anywho, take my first sip here. Oh god. Sparkling water just hits totally different than anything else in the world. Alright, who am I with today?

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Sea baby.

SPEAKER_04 0:38

Wow, that fizz is remarkable. Alright. So Catherine, Sea Baby. You had a uh an idea for this short little Sunday pod that we're recording, so give the people what they want. What are we talking about today?

SPEAKER_00 0:54

First, let's talk about you survived the insane hot week.

SPEAKER_04 0:59

We did.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

How'd you do it?

SPEAKER_04 1:01

A lot of water, a lot of salt in the water.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

I mean, there were some days where you were like, this is rough.

SPEAKER_04 1:11

Um, yeah, it was rough, but did this big dog stop? Was there any quitting me? How many flies fell on the crew this week?

SPEAKER_00 1:22

Two.

SPEAKER_04 1:23

Two? Two of them needed a day off each. Man, poor big Al. When I came around the corner and saw him just sitting in the shade, maybe he just looked rough. That was I felt so bad for him.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

Yeah. But uh and it's also crazy because the two guys that needed days off would never have asked for them. But you were like, listen, if you can't do it, like you can't do it. There's no harm in being like, it's too hot. I need a day to just like recoup.

SPEAKER_04 1:52

I I think Alex had the confidence to ask because I said to him, like, are you wanting tomorrow off? You think, bro? Because like obviously he was in the worst shape out of all of them. And he's like, Yeah, I I think I definitely should take tomorrow. I'm like, that's totally fine. We're good. And then Jordan, I mean, it was just a piss poor effort reported by other team members. So I was just like, bro, tomorrow are we gonna take care of this?

SPEAKER_00 2:18

And or is this heat too much?

SPEAKER_04 2:20

Yeah, and there's no shame in that. Everyone's body responds differently. I'm not trying to be a tough guy, and I'm not trying to ask you to be a tough guy.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

It's hard being out there.

SPEAKER_04 2:28

Yeah, and he's like, you know what? That actually works out perfect. So I have some personal stuff I need to take care of too.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:32

Awesome. Yep. And then that turned into Friday off, too. So so he got two days off this week. Big Al took one off. Blaker just held down the fort this week.

SPEAKER_06 2:42

He would.

SPEAKER_04 2:43

Oh. Oh, and oh, we had three flies. We had three because Dom had sun poisoning.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:48

He took Friday off.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

Wearing his signature, um, Blake wearing a signature tank top.

SPEAKER_04 2:53

Of course. Yeah shorts. I mean, just looking killer. Yeah. Are you kidding me? Muscle man.

SPEAKER_05 2:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:58

Um, talk about weird. Dom is allergic to aloe. Because I asked him, I said, are you putting aloe on your um your your like burns and your sun poisoning? And he's like, bro, I'm allergic to aloe. And I was like, I have never heard of that.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

I don't think sun poisoning is like a sunburn.

SPEAKER_04 3:17

I think no, it's definitely different.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

Can it be just from being like in the sun and being so hot?

SPEAKER_04 3:22

So I'm not Andrew Huberman. I don't know the exact science behind that, but he did have really bad sunburns around his neck, too. That's why I asked about the aloe.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:32

Um, fun fact.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

He's a very fair-skinned person.

SPEAKER_04 3:34

Fun fact for you, babe. My aunt Maida and Uncle Bill. So Uncle Bill, my great uncle, Claudia's brother. Maida got into Amazon when it was hot. She knew about Amazon when it was just books. Anyways, they have several different products that they sell. One of them is aloe vera gel. It is the not only top seller, but it's like the overall pick, like Amazon. Oh wow. So you can imagine how much they're killing it.

SPEAKER_06 4:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:04

Um, so guys, if you're looking for Aloe vera gel, um, I still think they're the top seller. This was as of like a year or two ago. Um, I'll look that up to make sure um that I have that correct. But you can support my uh great uncle and great aunt made uh, let's see, aloe vera. Um so we're kind of talking about like the guys and stuff and getting to know everybody. Um because this was what the episode was about, right? Get to know everybody. Is it this one? No, it can't be this one. I'm gonna look up my orders that I've done in the past.

SPEAKER_00 4:46

All right, well, while Jake does that, um today's episode is gonna be a little bit different than what we are normally talking about. Um, it's kind of gonna be a get to know us kind of episode. And we're just gonna be talking about, you know, I guess like how we met, what drove us to um creating our or being in our craft, um, just things like that that I don't feel like we've necessarily accurately expressed since we've started this podcast.

SPEAKER_04 5:20

So I'm searching all orders right now. All right, keep going, babe.

SPEAKER_00 5:25

Okay. Um you know, just take your sweet time over there.

SPEAKER_04 5:29

Well, I'm trying I want to give these people the right information.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

Jake mentioned um Andy Huberman, and he's a human biologist. I've listened to a couple of his podcasts recently just about like general health and um, you know, what he thinks about certain things. I mean, obviously we know like in this world you have access to literally everything you could want. And um just listening to his podcast about just like the science behind it, because I feel like so many people will get on social media, they'll promote something without noting like the actual science behind it. So um really like him a lot. So if you haven't listened to his podcast, you really should. He's a professor at I think Stanford.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

Stanford. Um neurobiologist, yeah. So talk about a brainiac.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Yeah, I mean, but also like in this episode, I was listening to him talk to um Gweneth Paltro, who owns the company Goop. And um, she was on with him, and she's very big into wellness, and so she had him on. And um he was did you know that he's a skateboarder?

SPEAKER_04 6:35

It doesn't surprise me based on how cool he is.

SPEAKER_00 6:38

Yeah. So he was talking about how like he's like loves the skateboarding community. He used a skateboard when he was younger. That's kind of what dove him into um starting into the health and wellness field, which I thought was really interesting because I had no idea that he was a skateboarder. Looking at him, you'd be like, Oh yeah, that makes sense. But I had no clue. So that was interesting.

SPEAKER_04 7:02

Okay, so Uncle Bill has a VP of operations at Candler Services. So I'm wondering if I can find it that way. Keep going.

SPEAKER_00 7:10

Let's just keep moving.

SPEAKER_04 7:11

Keep going.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

So, where do you want to start, babe?

SPEAKER_04 7:16

Babe, you're you're like so good at this and leading this. So just uh you either ask questions or ask me to tell a story because you know I'm good at telling stories and embellishing them.

SPEAKER_00 7:26

Okay, do you want to start with like some softball questions?

SPEAKER_04 7:29

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 7:29

Okay. Who laughs more during arguments?

SPEAKER_04 7:35

Oh, that's a good one because I think it's you I feel like I smirk a lot because I'm looking, like I think about the ridiculousness of this argument, but also once I then point out which is not meant to invalidate anybody's feelings. But like then when I clear that up. But like when you start to track at like how insane this argument is and where you're coming from and where I'm coming from, you then start to laugh a lot. But I would say maybe it's me more.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

Yeah, I would say I agree with that.

SPEAKER_04 8:05

Alright, I'm gonna just let you guys know. I can't find this eleventh.

SPEAKER_00 8:09

Who talks more when stressed?

SPEAKER_04 8:11

Oh, me. You shut down.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

I think it's me.

SPEAKER_04 8:15

Oh god, it takes you days to talk about what's stressing you out versus me. I'll just bring it right up to your attention.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Who plans the most surprises? I think that's obvious.

SPEAKER_04 8:26

That's you.

SPEAKER_00 8:27

No, you do. I hate surprises.

SPEAKER_04 8:30

But I feel like you always have like a little secret surprise or a little secret gift for me all the freaking time. Because your love language to give is gifts.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

That's true. That is true. Yeah. So I guess I would take that one. Who's messier around the house?

SPEAKER_02 8:44

You.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

You.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

You are you kidding me? All the shoes I find around, all the stuff that's not where it should be. Don't even think about it.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

I I've worked so hard to clean the house every day while you're at work, and then the minute you come home, there's stuff all over the counters, there's food everywhere. There's oh my god, my biggest pet Pete. When Jake leaves sparkling water cans all over the house, which he does all of the time.

SPEAKER_04 9:11

Is this episode turning into shitting on each other? Because I can definitely shit right on you if you want right this second.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

No. Um, who's more romantic?

SPEAKER_04 9:23

I feel like it's a pretty even 50-50 second.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

I don't think one is really better than the other.

SPEAKER_04 9:28

I'd say we're both really good at that.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Yeah. Um, who takes longer to get ready?

SPEAKER_04 9:33

Definitely you.

SPEAKER_00 9:35

Really? Yeah, because I feel like now that I cut my hair, it's it's not.

SPEAKER_04 9:38

Yeah, but babe, you can say to me, you'd be like, um, we're leaving in 15 minutes. I'm like, yeah, I know. And I'm like, you're like, well, you're gonna be late. You're gonna be late. And I'm like, give me, give me two minutes.

SPEAKER_06 9:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 9:47

And bada bing, bada boom, showered, throw the tallow in my hair, throw some tallow in my face, throw a watch on, outfit, and you're still like putting your lip on or something. Well, I'm ready to go.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

Also, nobody talks about how long it takes you to get ready once you have a kid to get out of the house. Like, I feel like I was so regimented before we had him to where, okay, if we needed to be somewhere by five, we'd need to leave the house by 4 30, which means I usually start getting ready around like 3 30. And now it's like, okay, you have to plan that same thing, but also track that you're watching a child while you're doing that. And um you're trying to get them ready as well, and trying to have everything they need the diapers, the wipes, the food, all of that stuff, snacks in case they get mad, extra outfit in case they poop, you know, whatever. Like, that's the crazy part. Um, who's more adventurous on dates?

SPEAKER_04 10:45

Definitely me. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, where are we going? Okay, what time are we getting there? Yeah. What time are we leaving?

SPEAKER_00 10:51

Yeah, I always have to be in the know because I don't like surprises. So I'm just gonna do that.

SPEAKER_04 10:54

I just love like vacation and date nights, just going with the flow.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:59

And it's totally different now that we have a kid, right? Because like you have fixed times for he's got bath time this time, he's got you know, bottle this. But like when grandparents are involved and they know that schedule, like you can be more adventurous and stuff. But like there's just something about not even having your phone with you or just in your back pocket, and then you're like, You want to go try this place for dessert? Do you want to maybe just go look at this jewelry store? We're not buying anything, but you want to go look. Yeah, and then we usually end up buying something.

SPEAKER_00 11:29

Um, who handles money more carefully?

SPEAKER_04 11:33

Oh, definitely me.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

Yeah, I would agree with that.

SPEAKER_04 11:36

Yeah. Like, babe, it used to be you used to spend it as quick as you made it.

SPEAKER_00 11:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:43

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 11:44

And then you would tease me because we'd be at like Kroger, and I would be like, Yeah, get two of those. And you're like, why? I'm like, because they're two for four. And you're like, but we don't need it. And I was like, even if we got one, it's two bucks, but like it's on sale, it's normally like eight dollars. And you would tease me and tease me and tease me. And then I would compare ounces. Yeah, that's why I would tease.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

Yeah, and then I'd just be like, this is this price per gram. I'm like, I don't care.

SPEAKER_04 12:07

Yeah, and you're like, what? I just need it. Yeah. And now you do it because you're like, why would I pay more for shit that I need every single day? So you're welcome.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

Yeah. Um, who listens better?

SPEAKER_04 12:21

In what regards do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_00 12:24

I just think who listens in general better. I think you do.

SPEAKER_04 12:28

Really? That's a nice compliment.

SPEAKER_00 12:30

Yeah, you're a much better listener than me. I feel like I have a problem with interrupting.

SPEAKER_04 12:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

So I can't like sit there and listen.

SPEAKER_04 12:37

You definitely have a problem with interrupting.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

Or like it takes me longer to digest. So like you could tell me something one day, and then two days later I'm still like simmer simmering on it, and then I'm like, oh, okay, now I want to talk about it because I've when I'm on my phone, either like in the group chat with the guys or planning work and stuff.

SPEAKER_04 12:55

I know it's like so it's like trying to get through a wall to me sometimes. But I catch about half of what you say, and then you're like, eh, hello, and I go, Yeah, keep going. I'm I'm listening. And then I feel like if you're on your phone, because you get mad when I'm on my phone. Then if you're on your phone when I'm telling you a story, nothing gets through to you. Nothing. Has he even fallen asleep yet?

SPEAKER_00 13:19

No.

SPEAKER_04 13:19

Is he chewing the crib?

SPEAKER_00 13:21

No, he's laying there with this guys.

SPEAKER_04 13:23

You should see the crib. It looks like a piranha has gotten to this thing.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

Jaws was inside his crib.

SPEAKER_04 13:29

It's unbelievable.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

Yeah. Teething baby. He's getting his top teeth, and he um he's having a hard time.

SPEAKER_04 13:37

Having a hard time. Talk about mom going through those baby clothes today, getting ready to give those to another great family that we love.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

Oh my gosh. We have a um a couple friend that is having twin boys.

SPEAKER_04 13:49

You guys know him. I've talked about him all the time. Connor Connor and Sarah.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

And um, so you know, having twins on top of already having a young baby is very three under two, right? Yeah, no, three under yeah, yeah, three under two.

SPEAKER_04 14:05

Nuts.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

And um, so we're just gonna we're just trying to help them in the best way that we can. And you know, we have so many clothes from Zeke that we were gifted, either from people or that we bought that he's barely even worn.

SPEAKER_04 14:17

And then they're gonna be either over here a ton or we're gonna go to them because we gotta at least be equal numbers of parents to children.

SPEAKER_06 14:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 14:26

And we're just so looking forward to this next adventure that they have and just the craziness of it, it's gonna be a blast.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

Who is more spontaneous day-to-day?

SPEAKER_04 14:35

More spontaneous, I would say myself.

SPEAKER_00 14:37

Mm-hmm. I would agree with that. I think I'm more spontaneous with Stinky, but on a grand scale, I think you're more spontaneous on a day-to-day. Who worries more about others' opinions?

SPEAKER_04 14:48

100% me.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 14:50

You don't give a flying flop about it. And that's something I admire about you. Uh, I'm I you do have to admit I'm getting better about it though.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 15:04

Dude, he needs to chill up there.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

Yeah. Who enjoys planning holidays more?

SPEAKER_04 15:09

Well, we both have been very stressed about holidays because there's always somebody that wants to see us, right? Like managing, coming from two divorced families. Yep. There's always someone you're gonna let down.

SPEAKER_05 15:22

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 15:22

But now holidays are great because we explained we're doing what we want and what we want to do with our family.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

Well, and I think it changes too when you have a your uh your own child because you're trying to create your own family traditions, and so you're not really being with your family, your extended family is not your top priority anymore.

SPEAKER_04 15:42

I'd say you though, overall. You love decorating for Christmas and Halloween.

SPEAKER_00 15:47

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 15:48

Getting that Thanksgiving stuff out where I'm like, cool, it's gonna be great for two weeks, and I'm gonna put it all away.

SPEAKER_00 15:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:53

Awesome.

SPEAKER_00 15:54

Um, who is more sentimental?

SPEAKER_04 15:57

I think I am.

SPEAKER_00 15:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:59

Yeah, I'm a sucker for sentiment.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

Who compromises more?

SPEAKER_04 16:05

Compromises? You don't even allow me to compromise. It's just you're doing what I want.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

That's not true. But I would say the most part, like you pretty much compromise a lot.

SPEAKER_04 16:17

Yeah. Just remember that next time I need some.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

But I think on like big major things. Like for instance, Jake and I were talking the other day because when I stop working, obviously I've built up a 401k retirement plan. Um, you know, a pretty decent chunk of change in there. And we were just talking about what the next steps would be as far as what happens with that after, you know, conversing with Jake's CPA. And um, so I just told him I was like, you know what? Like he wanted me to put it in a Roth IRA and do this with it. I wanted to just take it out and put it in the bank and earn zero interest. And so we settled on um doing a traditional IRA.

SPEAKER_04 17:06

We we didn't settle. Catherine had I she was arguing with me tooth and nail on that, and then I finally had my dinner meeting with my CPA and his team, and then they said, Absolutely not, she will not take any of that money out. You guys are acting as if you are broke. And I said, Okay. And then I conveyed that message to Catherine about what he said, and she's like, you know what? Fine, fine. You know what, it's my money, but you know what? Then you're handling all of it. Yeah. I said, sounds good. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_00 17:32

I just don't like handling like that side of like money management because one, like I don't really understand it very well. And so it's like, okay, if you feel like you know what you're doing, you go ahead and handle it. Cause I I don't really understand it. All right, who initiates fun activities more? I feel like we have a pretty easy split on that.

SPEAKER_04 17:57

50-50.

SPEAKER_00 17:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 17:58

Because like there might be times where I'm like, hey, let's go uh run up to the hardware store with Mozzie and the baby. And you're like, okay, alright, that's a little stressful, but okay, let's do it. And then there's other times where you're like, hey, instead of a walk tonight, I want to do this with Stinky. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_00 18:15

Yeah. So let's talk about.

SPEAKER_04 18:20

Um Well, didn't you want to give background information about ourselves today?

SPEAKER_00 18:24

Yeah, like how we met.

SPEAKER_04 18:26

Well, do you want to give more information like of how you were raised first? Like a quick brief synops of who Catherine is? No. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:35

No, because I don't really feel like that's important. It's kind of like a get to know us episode. Gotcha. Like as a couple versus. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. We're not doing our biography.

SPEAKER_04 18:44

Okay. Um, why don't you tell the peeps how we met?

SPEAKER_00 18:47

So we met at the gym.

SPEAKER_04 18:49

Powerhouse West Bloomfield.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 18:51

Hello.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

Um we met there.

SPEAKER_04 18:55

Worst managed gym in Michigan, in case you're wondering.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

Well, I wouldn't necessarily say that, but I would say all of the powerhouses that are owned by that management group are just it's pretty rough. Yeah, not that great.

SPEAKER_04 19:07

Yeah, it's just all about money and not the like enjoyment of the clients at the gym.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

Yeah, it's a really nice facility as far as like the equipment that they have. Um, but when it comes to like how they're managing it, meaning like leaks in the building, just the carpet always being soiled from leaks in the building, moldy stuff.

SPEAKER_04 19:28

Mold yeah, they just don't care.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

Yeah, equipment being broken for like weeks at a time. To whereas like we're now members of Wolf Gem in Waterford, and there was a a doctor machine that had a note on it that it was um waiting to be fixed, and it was fixed within two days.

SPEAKER_04 19:46

Yeah. You know, just I do want to go with you though, um, to that Partridge Creek powerhouse. I do want to see what it's like. That looks badass. Yeah, so it's technically what? The biggest gym in the Midwest or the biggest powerhouse in the Midwest?

SPEAKER_00 20:01

I think biggest gym in the United States.

SPEAKER_04 20:03

That's so cool.

SPEAKER_00 20:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:05

Um, so yeah, we met at the gym. Continue.

SPEAKER_00 20:09

So we met at the gym and I don't know, just kind of like We had known of each other for years. Yep.

SPEAKER_04 20:16

And then uh yeah.

unknown 20:18

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 20:19

Stripedaddy just shot a shot one day, right? Is that how that went?

SPEAKER_00 20:23

Yeah, I guess you could say that. Um so yeah, that's how we met. Then we started living together, and then we bought a house together, um, sold our individual homes, then got engaged a couple months after that. Um, found out we were also pregnant a couple months after that. Um, Jake mentioned in a couple episodes prior that it was a shotgun wedding. It was not.

SPEAKER_06 20:51

Yeah, it was.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

I was, in fact, pregnant when we got married, but like that wasn't the reason why we got married. We knew we were gonna get married. We just weren't gonna do it necessarily that quickly.

SPEAKER_04 21:02

But isn't shotgun just when you're always pregnant?

SPEAKER_00 21:04

I don't think so. I think it's like I think shotgun is you get married because you're pregnant. But we didn't do that. We knew we were gonna get married.

SPEAKER_04 21:12

We just all right, let me look up shotgun wedding.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

Yeah. Um, so anyway, we got married and found out, and then we had a marriage that is arranged quickly and hurriedly, typically because the bride is pregnant. So I guess it was that okay.

SPEAKER_04 21:28

I mean, you were bumping for the the wedding and everything. It was great. Yeah, again, we did not care. It's our life, and we're getting married because one, we wanted our son to have my last name.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

Yeah, that was very important when he was born. But also like Which I mean he would have regardless on the birth certificate, but I think it was important for me that we were all a family unit when um he arrived.

SPEAKER_05 21:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:53

Which I mean, I love the fact that that's how it happened, and I wouldn't change anything about the timing. Yeah. Um, so yeah, then we had him. We got married at the beginning of July and coming up on our one year. Yep. He came four months later. And that kind of brings us to what you guys know, which is um shortly after he was born, I realized that like it was gonna be very hard for me to continue working while taking care of him. And I was the one that wanted to do it. Jake and I very much agreed that we wanted to be the two people that raised him, and we didn't want to hire any outside help or have any um family watch him. So um, yeah, made the decision that I was gonna retire in a you know X amount of time and then slowly start working for JLC, and that kind of brings us to now. Did I cover everything?

SPEAKER_04 22:53

Yeah, I feel like it.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

What do you think was the biggest obstacle that we had in our relationship?

SPEAKER_04 23:00

The biggest obstacle? I mean, do you want me to talk publicly about that?

SPEAKER_00 23:06

No, I'm just asking what like the biggest obstacle you think that we had was.

SPEAKER_04 23:10

Well, I think you know what I'm gonna say. Do you want me to say it?

SPEAKER_00 23:17

I I mean I no.

SPEAKER_04 23:20

So then why did you ask me that question?

SPEAKER_00 23:22

Because like I'm not talking about like physically, like what was the hardest like part of our relationship. I'm talking like just never mind. We'll just disagree.

SPEAKER_04 23:34

Then what are you asking? No, I'm I'm trying to understand you.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Nope. It's that's okay.

SPEAKER_04 23:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

Um so do you want to do like just more questions about each other?

SPEAKER_06 23:44

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

Okay. Um there was one question that I really wanted to ask you. Let me see if I can find it.

SPEAKER_04 23:58

While you're looking, wasn't Mozzie's nails trimmed like a couple weeks ago?

SPEAKER_00 24:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:02

They look so long. Holy smokes, I was gonna rip my face off.

SPEAKER_00 24:07

So these are gonna be just kind of like relatable to anybody that's in a relationship.

SPEAKER_04 24:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

What's the key to a strong relationship?

SPEAKER_04 24:15

Communication. And a lot of sex.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

I disagree.

SPEAKER_04 24:21

With what part?

SPEAKER_00 24:23

I think that like being with your best friend is the key to a strong relationship because I feel like somebody that you can like talk about anything to spend So communication. No, I'm saying like and spend the most time with. Like I could sit on the porch with you for hours and we could always find something to talk about. Versus like, you know, other people in relationships. I feel like sometimes you just marry the first person that you find, or you're in a relationship with somebody that you're like, yeah, this is good, but it's not great. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 24:57

So our both of our first marriages. Yes. Okay, gotcha. Okay, yeah, cool.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

Um, so yeah, I just think it's like being best friends, and also, yes, lots of sex does have everything.

SPEAKER_04 25:08

But think about it too, with your best friend, what do you guys do? You always talk and communicate.

SPEAKER_06 25:13

That's true.

SPEAKER_04 25:13

So I feel like communication is huge. But I think the number one thing that a lot of people overlook is being, as the the Bible states, equally yoked.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 25:23

When you both have faith, you have to have that, and you want to one improve your faith, but also you want to understand faith better. And we both have that desire. Like we talk about our faith all the time, and we're like, why is God doing this? Oh, interesting. What's God trying to tell us here?

SPEAKER_00 25:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 25:40

I feel like that's such a huge, huge centerpiece of the marriage.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

Yeah, I agree with that. I think that most people, um, when they get married young, especially. You and I both got married very young when we were married the first time. And I think that that's a lot of times what people miss is that when you're young, all you're thinking about is like, okay, I've been dating this person for X amount of years. It's just the natural, like progressive relation is like we're gonna get engaged and we're gonna get married and we're gonna have kids. But you're not really like as far into your life and your growth as a human being to where you can say, like, because I remember when I started dating again after I had gotten divorced, um, my first thought was like, I'm not just picking like who I'm gonna be with, I'm also picking a potential father for a child. And that's a decision that I need to weigh even more heavily than I would weigh just, you know, a person for me.

SPEAKER_04 26:42

And for God's sakes, your brain isn't fully developed until 26.

SPEAKER_00 26:46

Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_04 26:48

There's that's a huge, huge factor. And I mean, you literally it's scientifically proven that your frontal lobe is not, is it closed? Or how does the terminology go?

SPEAKER_00 26:58

I just don't think it's fully formed, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:01

Until you're 26, sometimes 27, 28 years old.

SPEAKER_00 27:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:04

Probably 28 in my case, because I'm a retard.

SPEAKER_00 27:07

Um but I think like we really bonded when we first met on like talking about our faith. Like I remember when we would talk on the phone for like, you know, 25, 30 minutes at a time, and we would just talk about like our faith, talk about what we saw and like our future, like how we wanted our lives to look like.

SPEAKER_06 27:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:25

And we just aligned on like pretty much everything. And we literally could just not stop talking about it. And then fast forward to now that we have Stinky, like we stay aligned on, you know, could we go to church more? Absolutely. It's just hard with his schedule right now. His app schedule, he pretty much sleeps when any service is going.

SPEAKER_06 27:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:46

Um, you know, small groups would be really nice, but unfortunately, like we're literally just working around his schedule. So um we would love to do that eventually. Just right now, it's really, really good.

SPEAKER_04 27:57

I feel like we just need to make Sunday, it's just gonna be maybe a tough day for you, buddy. Like because like you know how like you asked me what was the one thing I want for Father's Day? It was to go to church.

SPEAKER_06 28:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:09

And it just couldn't work because of his schedule.

SPEAKER_06 28:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:12

And I feel like either we gotta find like a Saturday night thing, but like there's just something about Sunday morning, the start of the week, right? And and starting your week and morning centered in faith with your family. I think that's just so cool.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

I think if anything, we'll have to find a church that does like an 8 a.m. service because I think we could be in the clear Redeemer Lutheran, just saying. With an I'm not I'm not a huge Yeah, but you said you might be into Lutheranism.

SPEAKER_04 28:44

No, I don't think I really think their church has an 8 a.m. Because uh Lucas has been dying to get me over there.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

So let me But there's so many things that like factor into us being able to go to church. Like it has to be close to us to where it can be between his nap schedules. So like we you really only get like two, two and a half hours before he's ready for another nap. So it's hard to kind of like work in the lines of that because one, you need to find somewhere that's local, you need to find somewhere that doesn't have a super long service that he can sit through, you know. He's very active right now. Um, meaning like when any of us are holding him, he's literally just trying to get away. So holding him during a church service isn't really the most ideal thing.

SPEAKER_04 29:31

Yeah. So anyway, why isn't the church like I'm looking at it on the map and it's not popping up like as a name?

SPEAKER_00 29:38

So, how do you handle disagreements without hurting each other?

SPEAKER_04 29:42

Oakland Children's Academy, no, it's not that babe.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

We can worry about that later.

SPEAKER_04 29:47

Um, how do we handle disagreements without hurting someone?

SPEAKER_00 29:50

Without hurting each other.

SPEAKER_04 29:51

Well, first you have to come at it by saying, like, because you sometimes have things that are so off the wall, and then I have things that are so off the wall. And I have to respect that, like, emotionally this hurts you. So I don't understand why this scenario is so emotional for you, but I have to take into account that like, ooh, this one this really is bothering her. So you have to swallow your pride and realize okay, something is really bothering her about the situation. Let's try and get to the root of what's causing the emotion and like the frustration, and then just talk it through. Versus like just being like, Well, I don't understand, and this is stupid, and like this is how you should think. Like, just because I think of something one way doesn't mean that your opinion or your feeling about the situation is invalid, and just like vice versa, where I get upset about something and I'm just like, How do you not see it this way, Catherine? How or how is it remotely possible in your head? And then you're just like, okay, all right. And then you you have to find that common ground, but it truly it does take emotional maturity where you're realizing one, you're a product of your environment and your upbringing. I'm a product of my environment and my upbringing. You are a female, I am a male. You are more emotionally driven than I am factually driven, for instance. Men, we're not the best about sharing our emotions, we're not the best about expressing our emotions, we're not even the best about taking in other emotions. But being able to digest what you're saying and just turn off my response and just listen. And then it's like, okay, now I think I'm tracking where you're coming from. And then you get where I'm coming from, and then you just talk it out.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

I think the biggest difference that we have is that you're somebody that needs to talk about something like right away, and I'm the opposite. Like, I like to just sit on it for a little while, like collect my thoughts, and then we'll come back to it later. And when we first started dating, that was like one of the things that we kind of butted heads about because you would always be like, No, I want to talk about it now. And I'm like, Well, like, I just need some time to like think about it because I don't want to say something that I'm gonna regret or that's gonna hurt you. I would rather just like take a beat and then we'll revisit later. Yeah. And I think we've really come a long way as far as how we are able to, I think we talk about things much quicker now compared to how much we used to. And we're more like, you know, okay, like I can understand where you're coming from. Can you understand where I'm coming from? And etc.

SPEAKER_04 32:36

Exactly. All right, so the ped pastor of that of Lucas's is uh David Martin. Um, so he used to be like a very successful businessman, and then he felt the calling to build this church.

SPEAKER_00 32:50

That's cool. So um fun fact for you. That was just out of the how do you support each other's personal growth?

SPEAKER_04 32:59

Um, well, I feel like you have you have to keep talking about like what your goals and ambitions are, and then you keep tabs on each other. Where you're just like, okay, so for instance, okay, perfect example. Your goal is to be a stay-at-home mom. That's what you want to do for the next year or two years, potentially, right? And then you go back and forth where you're like, well, you know, ATA, the the manager is not doing so hot right now, and then they just fired this person, so like I might stay on a little longer. And I'm like, what are you doing? I was like, you don't owe them a thing. Me?

SPEAKER_00 33:37

When it comes to that kind of stuff, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:39

Well, no, no, because I'm keeping you on the goal that you had. So I'm like, this was your goal, Catherine. You're stressed out of your mind, yeah. You're not where you want to be personally, because we've identified that ATA and title work is too stressful right now. And then I'm like, I thought we talked about this. I thought you're I thought you're retiring. And you're like, yeah, uh and I'm like, okay, all right, well.

SPEAKER_00 34:06

I mean, I think you know because of the type of worker that we both are, that like when you see a ship that is struggling to stay afloat that you've been on for so long, and then you're like, man, like, do I really, you know, want to jump ship right now? But like you have to put your own personal feelings aside and being like, it's not my responsibility to carry the team. I'm not one, I'm not a manager anymore, but two, like, I have my family that I need to carry at this time, and like my time is better utilized elsewhere. Um but I also think, and call me crazy for saying this, some people may completely disagree. I think that supporting each other's personal growth meaning is means that somebody always has to be the more submissive one. Because I think that when you and I met, I was on this trajectory of my career. I was a couple years into managing. I was like, okay, yeah, I'll do this for a couple more years, and then I'll work to be um like a manager of a territory versus or several offices versus just you know my main office.

SPEAKER_04 35:25

Would this be like a Maria position?

SPEAKER_00 35:27

Okay, yeah, which I had been told that like I would be a good fit for. Um so kind of thought about potentially doing something like that, and then obviously God had other plans for us. We, you know, got married, we got pregnant with stinky, and then like everything changed. But I do believe that in order for one person to have the personal growth and career growth that they want to have, the other person has to be. And I think that's the phase where we're at right now, where like your business is growing so much, and I'm basically just doing whatever I can to try to keep you afloat, versus I think we were pretty evenly matched when we first met.

SPEAKER_04 36:16

Yeah, I would say so. Yeah, and then things change. I mean, you get pregnant with a kid, and obviously we if we wanted to, then we can either have a nanny or a a daycare facility, and we can both be on the trajectory that we want, but we both decided that's not important to us. Yeah, what's important is how we want to raise him, and you volunteered. You said, I I want to be a stay-at-home mom. That's fantastic. Okay, cool. Then let's look at doing that.

SPEAKER_00 36:49

What is any advice you would give other couples who own a business together?

SPEAKER_04 37:04

No, I don't think I'm in the position to give advice. We this has been very green for us. Like this is just the first year of us both being involved in the business. So if anyone should give advice, I think.

SPEAKER_00 37:16

Even first year, I feel like first months.

SPEAKER_04 37:18

Yeah, and I feel like if anything, you can give advice because you are coming into technically my business, and now it's our business, right? So if anyone can give advice, I feel like it would be you versus me because you're more so coming into an established routine/slash SOP versus us building it together. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 37:45

Yeah, I feel like you know, everybody has the mindset of like never get into business with your partner. And in some areas, I do agree with that because we definitely have hard days where um, you know, it's like, you know, Jake's just sending me stuff like I have no idea what it's for. So like I'm asking follow-up questions. Of course, he's busy on the road, like he's getting frustrated because I'm not understanding.

SPEAKER_04 38:11

But like But now we have a system in place. Yeah, but where I'm just like John Smith address hasn't been cut in two or three weeks. It's a long time.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

So in that sense, I can definitely like when people say like don't get into business with your partner, like I can definitely see why, because it's it's kind of difficult to um to do, and I guess what's the word to always be like the not I don't know what I'm trying to say, like not the less then part of the business, but like almost feel like you're just getting quote unquote like the bitch work because you're doing like all the administrative stuff, which I love to do. Like, you know, put me in front of a desk doing office stuff instead of like actually talking to customers, love it, you know.

SPEAKER_04 39:07

Um and that's why we compliment each other so well because I just want to sell, sell, sell, get to know the client. I want to do all of the work or assign the work for who I feel is best fit for it.

unknown 39:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:20

And you get to handle all of the um the scheduling and all that stuff. That don't, I don't it's not that I don't like it, but it's just the aspect that's like, oh, I gotta create this portal. Oh, I gotta send the car on found link. Oh, I gotta send the agreement.

SPEAKER_00 39:34

Don't get me wrong. Like some days it more so consists of me like, you know, calling somebody and saying that the crew is running a little late from a previous job and whatever, just to take things off his plate. And then some days it's, you know, I'm doing quotes and sending emails nonstop. So I think just more so like if I had to give any advice, which I don't feel like I'm even really at a place that I could, um, just to kind of like being open to doing anything because you'll literally just have to be like, you know, Jake will be like, yeah, it is there any way that you can call and make me a doctor's appointment? And I'm like, sure, yeah, I can do that.

SPEAKER_04 40:12

Um so Yeah, because I literally don't have five minutes to be on hold to then get the scheduling person or the front desk late. And it's just like I I understand everyone's busy, yeah, but I simply I'm not trying to sound crude or elevated, but like my time's too valuable. I don't have five to fifteen minutes to sit on the phone. I don't. And if you're able to handle that for me, it's fantastic. And if there's certain days where stinky's a nightmare and I put too much workload on you from emails or builds or whatever, then it's like, okay, I'll just have to stay on hold and then I'll hit mute. And then once someone joins the phone call, I'll shut down the mower a little bit, talk to them, and I will rush them through. This is what I need this time. Okay, got it. Thanks. Boom, bye.

SPEAKER_00 41:06

Yeah. Um, how do you celebrate wins together?

SPEAKER_04 41:12

Um, well, I love it when you sell something because you're like, hey, just sold the landscaping job. Yeah. And mommy is also planning on her Botox in like six months. So I'm gonna need a credit for that.

SPEAKER_00 41:25

And I'm like, yeah, let's I always ask Jake when I sell something, like, what's my commission?

SPEAKER_04 41:29

Yeah. And then, like, yeah, for instance, I came in the other day and I was like, hey, I got an email this morning, and you're like, Oh, cool, what was it about? And I was like, I don't even remember when I sent this estimate, but like, it's a big one, and they approved it today. And you're like, that's awesome. Let's but like we don't spoil ourselves, we're not like, oh, let's go have a big dinner or let's go do this.

SPEAKER_00 41:52

I feel like it just becomes so different when you have a kid. Like before, we probably would have gone out to a nice dinner, spent like $350, you know, between like drinks and appetizers and dinner, whatever. But I feel like now we're just like our time is much better spent just like taking care of our baby.

SPEAKER_04 42:12

Yeah, like that's the win. Yeah. Is having a healthy and happy baby that like oh yeah, we want to go get him this because he needs this. Cool. Like that's a win.

SPEAKER_00 42:23

Yeah. So let's like gear more towards like the business side of things.

SPEAKER_04 42:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 42:28

How do you split responsibilities in your relationship?

SPEAKER_04 42:32

I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_00 42:34

Like splitting responsibilities, meaning like, you know, how do we handle what our daily life looks like?

SPEAKER_04 42:43

I think it's very simple because you said I want to handle everything inside the home and you handle everything outside of the home.

SPEAKER_06 42:49

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 42:50

Okay. So a very traditional male-female dynamic. Love it. Sounds great.

SPEAKER_00 42:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 42:56

Like that's totally fine with me.

SPEAKER_00 42:57

I told Jake the other day about this. Like, I truly feel like I'm like living my purpose in the way that God intended like um marriages with children to be. Because, like, you know, don't get me wrong. If you want to work, that's great, and you want to like have help, that's great too.

SPEAKER_04 43:13

No shame in that.

SPEAKER_00 43:14

No shame in that at all. Like, that's awesome that you want to do that. But I just feel like there's such like a freedom in being like, yeah, I'm at home. I take care of this. This is my job, quote unquote.

SPEAKER_04 43:26

I take so it's a job and a half.

SPEAKER_00 43:28

Yeah, I take such joy in like keeping the house clean and like making sure that there's always laundry done.

SPEAKER_04 43:34

FaceTiming me randomly going, Hey, do you like this paint color? Okay, cool. Because I'm painting this wall this color. I'm I do like it.

SPEAKER_00 43:39

Yeah, just like random stuff that like I just haven't been able to focus on.

SPEAKER_04 43:45

Doodle's playing with his little balls. That is so cute. Doodle, you're so funny.

SPEAKER_00 43:50

Um, stuff that like I just haven't been able to focus on because we've obviously like had a baby.

SPEAKER_04 43:56

Um Yeah, like the nine the last nine months I've just been dedicated to Yeah. A small living being.

SPEAKER_00 44:01

Yeah. What habit do you think keeps our relationship steady?

SPEAKER_04 44:08

I feel like checking in because I can just tell as soon as I walk in the door whether it's been a terrible day, a good day, or an exceptional day. And so when you've had a bad day, I don't ask you right away because I can tell you don't want to talk about it. Doodle, you gonna jump up? Do you want to jump up here?

SPEAKER_00 44:29

She needs help.

SPEAKER_04 44:30

Well, she's not gonna get help. It's not that high. Come on.

SPEAKER_00 44:33

Come on.

SPEAKER_04 44:34

You got it. Do it. Go ahead, sweetheart. I know you got a bad back leg, but come on, you got this. Good girl. Um because we've learned each other's like style, quote unquote. So like I know you don't want to talk about it right away. And like you just fizzle. Go ahead. I'm gonna take stink, we're gonna play. Like, and it's so hard for you to just like go upstairs and do something else because you still want to be around him, but like I can tell like you're spent, like you gotta chill, girl.

SPEAKER_06 45:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:09

And so I feel like that's I feel like you really need to learn how your partner operates from an emotional, but also like a battery standpoint. Like I can tell when you've got did he just leak a little bit? That was weird. Um, I can tell like when you're at running at 50% or you're running at fumes.

SPEAKER_00 45:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:35

How about you? What do you say?

SPEAKER_00 45:38

I feel like along the lines of what you originally said, like I think communication is what keeps our relationship steady because like I think that we sometimes like over-communicate. And but I think that we do a very good job of being like, you know, that one video that you sent me, like when we first started dating, which is like, you know, one of us will come in the house, or you'll come home and I'll be like, Yeah, I got like 30% today. You gotta you gotta hold it down.

SPEAKER_04 46:08

And so then you're like, okay, so you need me to do 70. Okay, I can do 70. Yeah, and then there's gonna be other days where you're like, look, I've got 10%.

SPEAKER_06 46:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:17

And you're like, okay, well, I don't have 90 in me.

SPEAKER_06 46:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:20

And then you have to come together as a team and figure out how or one we can be nice to each other because we're both emotionally fried. And then we also got a kid that's screaming his head off. So like, how are we gonna attack this evening?

SPEAKER_00 46:33

We usually always are flip-flop though, which like you're more physically tired and I'm more mentally tired. Yes. Every like usually every day.

SPEAKER_06 46:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:43

So like you come home, like you always say, the minute you sit down, it's like hard to get back up because you have so much momentum during the day. And then the minute you sit, you're like, oh man, like now I'm tired. Versus me, like my mental from like to keep taking care of him, keeping his schedule plus working, plus doing all this stuff, um, just keeps me mentally tired.

SPEAKER_04 47:03

So as soon as you walk in and like, because it the timing's been fun where you'll text me and I'm close to the house, and you'll be like, Yeah, he just woke up. Like, you're you'll you'll have to go get my other crib. And it's like, oh, that's so exciting. Cause then you he's like, Oh, wait, it's you and not mom. Yeah. Like he's so amped up. Or if he happens to be up and he's in his playpen when I get home, and like just seeing that smile, yeah, it's like the biggest legal dose of cocaine you can get. It's the coolest thing ever.

SPEAKER_00 47:31

Yeah. Who tends to make the decisions in the relationship?

SPEAKER_04 47:37

What kind of decisions?

SPEAKER_00 47:39

Just decisions.

SPEAKER_04 47:41

I feel it's like 60-40.

SPEAKER_00 47:44

60-40 who?

SPEAKER_04 47:46

Me.

SPEAKER_00 47:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 47:47

I feel like there's a lot where I'm just like, look, no, it it we're just doing this. And then there's other times where you're like, no, we're doing this this way. It's like, okay, I don't agree with you, Catherine, but okay, alright. What's that look?

SPEAKER_00 48:01

Like, oh, you don't agree with me as if I don't make the best decisions for the 40% of the city. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_04 48:07

I'm just saying, like, there's certain times where you make a decision, I'm just like, oh, okay. And then it is the right decision. Then I have to swallow my pride and be like, okay. And it's totally flip-flop too, where you're like, Nice save. You'll be smirking, I'm not saving anything. And then you'll smirk at me and be like, yeah, you were right.

SPEAKER_00 48:24

Mm-hmm. How do you balance careers and family life?

SPEAKER_04 48:32

Well, I don't feel like there's a balance. I really don't. I feel what's important to you just gets done. So obviously, growing my business is extremely important to me. And sometimes there's days where like I just have to work late or I can't be as attentive as I want to be when I'm home because there's just things that have to get done on the back end. And there just there isn't a work-life balance sometimes. And I feel like when your partner's able to help you with that and say, hey, like, I need you to like stop for like 45 minutes, please. Okay, got it. So I feel like that that I there's no true balance in my opinion.

SPEAKER_00 49:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 49:18

What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 49:20

Um, yeah, I would agree. I don't think you have a balance of like work and home life. I feel like it bleeds into everything that we do.

SPEAKER_04 49:33

Exp like expand on that. I don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_00 49:35

So, like, I mean like for instance, we've talked about like my dad's business before when I was growing up, but like he had um his business, and it was almost more of like a hobby job where like he was just making enough to get by, but like that was it. And so he was able to turn it off. Like he would always be at, you know, the boys since they were the only ones allowed to play sports, he would always be at their games, um, always be at plays and stuff because you know he was able to do like just turn it off. But I feel like in this day and age with the small business that we have, um, I feel like um you have a hard time turning it off.

SPEAKER_04 50:24

Yeah, but there's certain things where it's like I feel like, yeah, no, I turn it off a hundred percent for this, but it's always in the back of my mind. Yeah, I would say that, but I definitely feel like I'm still a present dad.

SPEAKER_00 50:42

Yeah, well, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that like I think it's hard for you to turn off that business side of you.

SPEAKER_04 50:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:50

And I think it'll always be that way.

SPEAKER_04 50:52

I don't think it'll ever be something that um yeah, and even if it isn't JLC, if it's a second or third business or whatever, like I'm gonna give it everything I have. I'm not just gonna half ass it.

SPEAKER_00 51:02

Yeah. Yeah. Um, how do you handle financial stress as a team?

SPEAKER_04 51:10

Um well, I feel like for me, because I'm so anal about money and stuff, like I freak out first. Like how we had that argument yesterday and finding out something that like I was not fully in on the scope of the situation, and I just did what typical men do. I assumed and made an ass out of you and me. And I yeah, you just get frustrated, but like financial stress, I don't know. I feel like if you have a clear plan in place and you're like, hey, this is what's going on, it's all handled, but I just want to let you know that, like, hey, this month's gonna be a little tight, and the reason it's gonna be a little tight is because of this, this, this, and this. But here is my plan to do this, this, and this. And I also have this safety net in place just in case. You're like, okay, sounds good.

SPEAKER_00 52:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 52:14

How do you handle financial stress, or how do you think we handle financial stress?

SPEAKER_00 52:19

Um, I definitely feel like you're the most stressed person about it than we both are. Um I don't know. I've just never really been somebody to like first of all, like have financial stress, I guess. Like, I mean, I did like the story that I've told you before of like when I bought my first house, like I literally bought it and had like $47 left in my bank account to last me until I got paid like the following Friday.

SPEAKER_05 52:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:50

So, like, in that sense, I have experienced financial stress, but I wouldn't say I've experienced it on some like massive scope, like, definitely not on the scope that like you experience stress of like you have a payroll you have to meet every week. You have X amount of money that you have to make every single week. And um, that's something that I'll never understand because I've never owned my own business. Um, but I just have like stress in a different way of like, you know, okay, here's what I like to spend, and like maybe now it's time to advocate for myself and either look for another job where it pays more money or try to get like a raise at work or whatever. So I've been blessed in that regard to where I've never really had to be um super financially like stressed about anything.

SPEAKER_05 53:41

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 53:41

But I mean, I think the one thing that we were just a little stressed about was like, you know, everybody talks about the hospital bills after you have a kid. And that was one thing that kind of was like stressing me out because you know, obviously you, you know, every person typically has like standard debt, meaning like you typically have a mortgage or rent, you have a car payment, you know, you have like your standard amount of debt that's considered like okay debt, right?

SPEAKER_04 54:07

Yeah, you're fixed up.

SPEAKER_00 54:08

And then when you have things like hanging over your head that are like thousands of dollars, that's the kind of stuff that like stresses me out. Like, I I don't like that at all. So when we started getting like these hospital bills coming in, and if anybody has had a child before, I'm sure you can relate, like the bills just don't stop coming. Like we were getting bills, we had them in October, we were getting new bills in like January, February.

SPEAKER_04 54:32

Yeah, just one, how long it took.

SPEAKER_00 54:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 54:37

You would think that these people want their money sooner.

SPEAKER_00 54:39

And then they're like, Yeah, you need to pay it within 30 days, and you're like, excuse me, you're sending me this bill now and you want me to pay it like immediately. Yeah, what?

SPEAKER_04 54:48

Um, so anyway, I think that's Oh, and also, guys, you don't have to pay those bills right away. Um, when we found out that you can get on a plan at 0% interest, yeah, I'll keep my money. I'm not gonna write a check or do this full payment. Like, why not stretch it out? Just be smart with your money. And there's nothing wrong with paying it right then and there.

SPEAKER_00 55:09

But we're paying more per month than what the payment plan is, but you know, it's just I don't know. That's the kind of like financial stress that I don't like.

SPEAKER_04 55:19

So yeah, you're always yeah, that that's still to this day. I can just see it in your face. Like it just stresses you out, and it's like it's all set. Like you know what it's gonna be every single month. You're not paying any interest on it to stretch it out. So why are you getting upset about that?

SPEAKER_00 55:35

Well, because it just annoys me at the premise of the whole thing is like I pay into it. You pay so much for insurance every single month. I have paid it consistently as I've been working in my corporate job, which has been 12 years. And all of a sudden, the one time I've ever tried to use it in my life, you still can send me a bill for thousands of dollars when I've paid way more than thousands of dollars into it. That's the kind of stuff that really just like pisses me off.

SPEAKER_04 56:06

Yeah, and the whole um to the hospital is gonna charge you as much as they effing can, and then insurance has to negotiate it down, and even the negotiation's ridiculous too. Yeah. The fact that like, you know, most policies, you're paying what the first they pay the first 70% and you're responsible for 30%.

SPEAKER_00 56:29

No, you pay the first 30% and then they pay the rest. I think that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_04 56:32

Usually that's what I just said. They pay 70% and you pay 30% whatever. So the fact that you're even responsible for 30% of, let's say, a $40,000 bill, like that's just mind-boggling to me.

SPEAKER_00 56:46

And it would make me the same amount of anger if it was car insurance, because you and I have talked, like, I've I've never been in an accident before, knock on wood. And so I've never used my car insurance, but I'm consistently paying over a hundred dollars every month for my car insurance and have paid it since I was 16 years old. All to never use it. But if I did ever need to use it, I still have a deductible that I have to pay out of it.

SPEAKER_04 57:16

But also, too, if you ever had to use it, not only are you gonna pay your deductible, but you're also probably gonna see an increase in your rate the next year. But also the fact, too, it's just gone. It's in the trash.

SPEAKER_00 57:30

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 57:31

I think the system should be set up where like if you don't use it, I agree. I also like And also if you don't use it or if you don't have it, um, you could be facing legal action. You need to have auto insurance in the state of Michigan. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 57:46

Like it's just it's yeah, same thing with like home insurance. Like when we first bought this house, we got locked into a really great rate for home insurance. And then a year after we bought it, surprise, surprise, our home insurance goes up by like $700 a year. And you know, when we call and we're talking to the agent, because we're like, we've never made a claim. Like, why is our insurance going up this much? This is like a 40% increase. And she was like, Well, there have been claims in your zip code, and it's like, what do anybody else's claims have to do with me?

SPEAKER_04 58:19

Yeah, like I not my problem that they left a coffee maker on and their house burnt down. Exactly. Not my problem that they had a shit roof and it leaked, and now you're paying for it. Not my problem.

SPEAKER_00 58:31

And definitely have like sympathy for those people, but also like I shouldn't be penalized and my insurance go up because I'm grouped into a pool with all of these other people that may have had claims on their insurance. Like, it's just so stupid how all of that is set up. I think insurance is the most retarded plan. But anyway, I'll get off my high horse about that. That's just the kind of stuff that like financially stresses me out because I feel like you always have to plan or have a plan in place for if you ever have those types of situations, and it's just it's stupid. Um do you have anything that you any questions for me about relationships?

SPEAKER_04 59:14

Um all right, what what sold you on like yeah, I'm into this guy?

SPEAKER_00 59:24

What do you mean, what sold me?

SPEAKER_04 59:26

Like, what what was it about because babe, you have guys constantly coming up to you. I mean, you're gorgeous, both inside and out. So what was it about me that you were like, I think I want to give this guy a shot or something? Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 59:42

You sure inside and out because I spend my money as fast as I can make it.

SPEAKER_04 59:46

I'm talking about your beauty.

SPEAKER_00 59:48

No, I know.

SPEAKER_04 59:49

Um I have no idea why you added that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_00 59:52

I'm talking about what you said earlier, is like I like to spend money as fast as I would make it, which I don't necessarily feel is true, but I said that the old you. Yes, okay, yeah. Um, I feel like as like obviously what we've said before is like I knew of you, but I didn't really know like the person that you were. And then when we started talking, like I knew that you were different, like there was just something about you that I could tell, like, this person is like a genuinely good person. And that's something that you you can't fake in someone, you know, you can see it right away, and I think you know that too. Um so when we first started talking and I started seeing that, like I remember when I went to one of your first soccer games and my men's league, yeah, and I met your mom, and I told her I was like, you know, I said, There's just something different about Jake that like I can't even explain, and I think that's what it was, is like I had never felt that way about anybody else. I f I was always feeling like, yeah, it's good, but it's not great, or like they have this, but they don't have this, and I feel like with you I had all of it, and that's something that like you just can't let go. No, you can't let that bass you buy.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:15

That's cute.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:16

That's sweet. Yeah, that's nice.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:18

Thanks.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:19

Um, how do you handle life with someone who's in business for themselves? How do you manage the stress or kind of the unknown, right? Because you've been an employee your whole life. So how do you handle like just being married to someone who's sometimes go, go, go, and like, hey, I just have to do this. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:43

Yeah. Um, I think that I mean, if I'm just being honest, you just have to expect like disappointment. And that's not to say that like you're disappointed in your partner, but you just have to be able to expect disappointment. Meaning, like, okay, if we have had plans all week to go take Stinky to the zoo, and then somebody calls in sick at work with you on a Friday, that probably means that Saturday morning you're gonna be cut but cutting a couple lawns just to make up for the date.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:15

Or it might just be that I'm gonna work super late on Friday to then make sure that that happens still on Saturday.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:22

Like, I think the other day when we were taking stinky for a walk, like it kind of offended you, and then you kind of understood what I was saying when you were like, let's plan a date night on a Friday, and I was like, No, because you usually work late on Fridays, and like I don't want to be disappointed if we have to cancel something because you have to work late. Um, so I think But what did I say?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:42

I was like, just give it time. I was like, trust me, this Friday, like wait, watch what you see this Friday.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:48

And then bada bing, bada boom, or they home by like 4 15, 4 30. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:53

Yeah. So I think that that would be just one of the things that like I would say is like to expect that, and then just like as much as you can try to just like be flexible, which is super, super hard. And I'm not saying I'm good at it or great at it for that matter. I don't even really think I'm good at it at all. Um, but uh, I would just say like try to be flexible and give your partner grace, even though it's really hard. Like there are some days when Jake will be like, I have to work late, and it's been just a day with work and stinky and you know, all of the stuff that like my life entails, like the dogs could be going crazy, and I'm just like okay, like you just you just do it, and it's um it's really hard most days, but yeah, just get try to give your partner grace as much as you feel like you're able to. And like I said, that's not to say that you won't be disappointed or sad or feel a certain type of way, but it's just that's the reality of being with somebody who has their own business, is that like like I said prior, like Jake never turns it off. So, like I've re I've come to realize after we've known each other for almost three years now that um that's a blessing because Jake is a hustler and like you know, he wants to support our family, but at the same time, like it's also very difficult to handle because it's it's like okay, he's constantly like on his phone trying to sell jobs, he's constantly like you know, staying up late doing payroll or you know, doing landscape designs for people, whatever it is. And so you just kind of have to like get used to it, and that was something that I don't feel like I've even really like gotten used to until this year. Did that answer your question?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:55

Yeah, yeah, no, I just I I love the thrill of the chase, like it's so much fun. Like it's gambling, but it's not gambling, you know what I mean? Because like I know what our team can deliver, and it's just like does someone else believe in this or no? Okay, that's fine. You don't, all right, cool. Go find someone cheaper or go find someone that has more experience than us. That's fine. Yeah, yeah, go for it. I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:20

Yeah. I think it's like the one thing that you um that you sent me, like I don't know if this was a couple months ago or like last year, where you were like, you can either be with a boy or no, you can either be with a man who is successful or you can babysit a broke one or something.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:40

Yeah, something like that. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:42

And I was like, Yeah, that's true. I mean, granted, like there are days when we're at breakfast and like Jake is on his phone doing work stuff, and like, yeah, it's frustrating. And my immediate instinct is to be like, you need to zone out. But I have been trying at least to like before I say something. Something being like, okay, like maybe this is really important, and I know he wants to spend time with his family.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:07

So And then there's other times too where I feel like I've also like been better about just not worrying about it right now.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:14

Like just nah I can take an hour.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:23

Yep, because it clearly, like, it's not gonna be there's no emergency at 7 30 on a Tuesday night for the most part.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:31

And speaking of that, we've you know, to help with that is that we've set up like guidelines in place where like we typically don't answer any work calls or talks after 7 p.m. unless it's like an emergency, obviously, which like why would there be emergency at 7 o'clock at night when everybody's pretty much wrapped for the day? But um, you know, we try to set that boundary so that we both feel like we're partners in this relationship and in this, you know, family dynamic versus just one person doing everything.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:03

What I love too is like when you get that submission off the website or whatever, or an email late at night, maybe it's like 8:30, 9 o'clock, right? Because other people have families too. So maybe they have time now that the kids are asleep to go on Google and do whatever. So then we get that submission, and then I'll look at you, I'll be like, Salami as quote, you want to do it? And then you're like, Yeah, and so you look it up, you come up with the price, and then you're like, Yeah, I'll email them in the morning. Because like I don't need to show one desperation answering at 9 30 after 9 35. Right, you know, or excuse me, flip-flop that if you receive it at 9 30 and then respond at 9 35. Like it just looks professional if it comes in at 7 30, you know, in the morning, because it's like, hey, we got to it before really operational hours, and here you go. So that's kind of fun.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:52

Yeah. I would agree with that.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:55

Anything else? We're over an hour.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:59

That's good.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:01

That's good. That's good. We're over an hour. That's good.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:06

Why are you saying it like that?

SPEAKER_04 1:08:07

Because that's what you said.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:09

Um, okay, so to end, let's do one final question. Um, where was it? Actually, there's two, so we'll do the first one first.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:19

Are we both answering those?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:21

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:22

How do you set boundaries for privacy in your relationship? I think this is a good one specifically because you have social media.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:32

Wait, to display my relationship or like your privacy between us?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:37

How do you set boundaries for privacy in your relationship? Meaning like, you know, to keep certain things like close to the chest in our relationship and our family, versus like just how do you create boundaries for that?

SPEAKER_04 1:08:52

I feel like one, like, if I have like a cute picture of stinky or something that I want to post, I'll like check with you first. Yeah. And I'll be like, hey, is it cool to post this? Like, because it's not just me. It this is our child. Or you know, I don't know, like you just have to talk it through. There's certain things that like one, there's certain things I don't bat an eye at. Like, I know you're not gonna be mad about posting this.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:18

About me posting this. Okay, same question.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:21

So, like, along with that, I would um I try to have like all my social media private because I know the stage of AI that we have in this world and the people who are perverts like to do with technology and specifically pictures of children. So I like to keep everything very private in that regard.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:45

Which we'll we'll find them. Yeah, like these disgusting individuals. I if the justice system doesn't get them, obviously then once they're in, inmates take care of that. Yeah, but the problem outside, in like we will find you.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:01

Yeah, but the problem is that like that's not happening. So, anyways, the reason why like I don't like like this is why Jake is kind of like more limited for people who have like seen his social media and like posting pictures of him is because I'm not a huge fan of that. Um just because like I know how perverted people are, and you know, I would never want any pictures of my son to be like circulated around the internet for anything other than for like me to share my sweet child. Um but like boundaries in our relationship, I just think that like you know, we're so busy enjoying life that we don't feel the need to like post about it every five seconds.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:43

Yeah, because we have so much that we could post about. Like life is so good and we're so blessed. Yeah, but like there's just like a couple things like here and there. I would say out of all the stuff I want to post, I post like five percent.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:56

Yeah. Yeah. I just like, and I've never been, you know, since Jake and I have met, like I've never been like super big on like social media and stuff. So I try to have that be like a boundary. Like I kind of pride myself on being like a not like a chameleon, but like Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:15

I remember too, like there would be times before we were dating where like all of a sudden your Instagram was gone. And I was like, Did this bitch block me or something? Like, I'll be like, Where'd it go? And then all of a sudden it would be back. Yeah, and then I'm just like, oh, she's one of those, where she just like deletes her Instagram for like she probably wants a break from social media or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:35

Yeah, sometimes like back then I could feel myself being like too addicted to social media, and I would just be like, Okay, like I'm gonna delete it, take a mental break, yeah. And you know, figure out what's actually important in life, and then I'll come back to social media when I feel like I'm ready.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:50

Yeah, that's so cool.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:51

Um, okay, last question. How do you navigate differences in parenting styles?

SPEAKER_04 1:11:59

Well, I'll ask you, like, why do you think of it that way? Or like, why did you do that? And that's not like an aggressive, like, I'll just I'm just genuinely curious. Um, and I'd be like, oh, that's interesting, because I was thinking of doing it this way because of this example or whatever. And then you're like, oh, that's interesting. And then we just come together with a game plan. Like, I feel like sometimes, for instance, if he falls or he hurts himself because of his own doing, right? I'm like, no, no, he's good. Like just let him figure it out. Like, let him cry out a little bit. And then you, as the mom, you just want to hug him and give him love and kisses and tell him it's okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:38

But like, there's gonna be days where like mom's gone. You know what I mean? Like, she's running errands or doing this, like my ass.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:44

There will be days.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:46

But you but you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:47

Like, yeah, mommy can't pick you up at the playground when you fell and bumped your knee on the wood chips, buddy. So, like, it's okay. Yes, I know he's nine months old. But at the same time, he does not need to be picked up and embraced at every obstacle that he encounters. And I'm sure at first you were like, I don't know if I agree with that, but now you're like, oh, this is kind of nice. Because yeah, he does stop crying, or I'll be like, bro, and then he starts laughing. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like he literally will be mid-cry, he's like, I'm fine.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:25

Yeah. I feel like we um we had certain ideas of what like our parenting styles would be like before we had him, and then like parenting just throws you for like a total loop. Like we were always like, Oh, like he'll not, he won't get screen time. But like there's some days where like he's so upset and like he won't drink his bottle unless he's like watching his veggie tails.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:51

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:51

And like other days, it's not like that, but like some days you just have to adapt and be like, Yeah, because my child needs to eat.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:58

So, like that guess what? You're drinking your eight ounces and you'll be watching Veggie Tales, and boom, it's guzzled.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:04

Yeah, so like in those senses, like we were like, we're not gonna be screen screen time parents, and then in in like that regard, we're like, okay, yeah, just sometimes, or like just like you need a mental break, and you're like, I'm gonna put this on for him to keep him busy because I just need a minute to like sit down, drink my coffee, or have some water.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:24

My brain is swollen right now with overstimulation.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:26

Like a couple minutes to myself, and there's no harm in that.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:29

Like, people will always say, Either I need this two minutes or I'm gonna go jump off the roof.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:33

Yeah, and then you'll be gone. Um, and then I also feel like we kind of had different styles when it came to like um family events in the beginning. Like you were always like, let's do this, let's do this. And I was like, No, like I think I wanna have like our own stuff that we do. So we talked about it, like you know, a grown adults would do, and we determined that like what we want is to like have our own thing, and then if we decide we want to spend time with extended family, we will, but for like the most part, what we do in the future is just gonna be like creating our own family tradition, and I think that's one of like the biggest differences that I noticed in our like parenting style, so to speak, was that like you're one that loves family time and that's great, but like when you have your own kid, I feel like it kind of just changes, and you're like, Yeah, I love to see my family, and there will be a time for that, but they're my priority is just doing what works best for our family and also starting our own traditions, yes. Yeah, so yeah. Alright, gang. That's uh a little bit about us and how we uh try to one, how we met navigate.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:51

Two, how we navigate things. We're not perfect.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:55

We far from don't claim to be.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:58

I feel like we have a good system, I feel like we have a good foundation, but like you just have to go back to it all the time and reflect on what's most important and communicate effectively and go from there.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:12

I think that as we reflect on like officially like one year of being married, one of the things that we would say has helped us this past year was just like communicating and especially through like this postpartum period that like we've experienced and just so many like life changes we've had in the past year. Um that's just been really like key for us is to and granted like we would love to have more date nights. We haven't had one in probably like since very early on in Stinky's life. Um maybe I think when he was like four or five months old was like the last date month date night that we had. But um I think we're in the stage now where now that he's a little bit older, he's more comfortable with other people, we're trying to focus more on like our relationship and um trying to make time for each other because usually the root of all of our frustration or anger or disappointment with each other is just because there's like a lack of that like personal time because there's just not enough time in the day.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:23

100%. Yeah, all right, gang. Well, that was episode 10. Can we have done 10 of these? Go us.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:30

I can't.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:31

This is like I feel like we're in it, we're committed. You said, hey, I want to do a pod. I'm like, all right, let's do it. You're like, I'm accepting of uh podcasting times from this time to this time. I was like, all right, let's run it.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:43

Only when stinking ups.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:44

Yep. So alright, gang. Thanks for listening. Have a heck of a start to the week, and we will talk later.