Welcome to The Loud Mums Club!

In Episode 1, I’m introducing myself, sharing why I started this podcast, and saying the quiet part about motherhood out loud. From mum fails and gentle parenting hot takes to tiny ferals, mum rage, and the absolute chaos of parenting — this is your permission slip to laugh, vent and realise you’re not the only one winging it. Grab a coffee (or wine) and join the village.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Okay, if you got this bar that I actually pressed published and I didn't curl up and die listening to my own voice, welcome to my podcast. What are we drinking today? Is it coffee, wine, or your children's tears? But welcome to the loud mum's club where we say the quiet part out loud, the good, the bad, and the absolutely cooked parts of parenting. Five fun facts about me. I have two kids and I'm on my first husband. I was actually born in Germany. I was married in Vegas. I love wine, and I hate that my husband always buys me lilies when he knows I hate them. But welcome to the podcast, and I wanted to have a place where I can talk honestly about my parenting, and I think I've got a lot of friends that have all had babies at the same time as me. I think everyone I know have pretty much got kids under seven. So it's been a really nice few years of having other mums to lean on. It takes a village, and I think I have got my village of other mums, and there's nothing better than when you catch up for a glass of wine or a coffee and you realise that they're dealing with the same issues. Like they are equally as exhausted by the end of the day, equally struggling with trying to get everyone out of the house in the morning or trying to figure out the routine now with school starting, and it is just a lot being a mum, and I'm very grateful I have an incredible partner and husband. But some of my friends aren't as fortunate or are single mums, but I think it's important to share obviously the good stuff, but I feel like with social media and things these days, that unfortunately things are sort of washed over. I think, especially since COVID, there's been a lot more honesty around parenting and what that looks like, and people who are struggling or having bad days. I've definitely got some favourite parents that I follow on on Instagram, but I've had to kind of remove the people that just post the good and the unrealistic expectations of what day-to-day life looks like, or influences that make life look very simple when I am over here trying to work, trying to juggle, trying to do school pickup and drop-off and school holidays, and really trying to figure out how is any mum supposed to do all the things? I can only wear so many hats, and I just need people to be on my team and to talk to, and that's how I've survived motherhood so far. Extremely grateful to my inner circle and those listening, you know exactly who you are, and I'm sure my listeners will get to meet them along the way, which is really exciting because I want to bring them on. First of all, we're absolutely hilarious. Um, and second of all, um, they are incredible mums, but they all deal with parenthood in different ways, and I think it's really important to hear how different parents manage different types of kids. We've got friends that have perfect angels for babies, and we've got friends that have kids that are on the spectrum and and that are really hard work and they have their own worries and concerns, and I think it'd be great to chat to those mums on how they deal with it. But from like a day-to-day person that just is just trying to get by and is just trying to figure out how to do this, how to survive. So I've started this podcast, and I'm going to start segments each episode. I thought it'd be really, really funny. So the first segment I want to introduce is my mum fail of the week. And when I have a guest on, I'll be asking them what their fail of the week is. But mine happened this afternoon. My mum fail was walking my daughter into swimming class today, and I guided her right into a fire hydrant. Smashed her face, bruised cheek, tears, looks like Rhonda Rousey now. So I now have to go to school tomorrow and tell them that I didn't give her a right hook. Uh, unfortunately, she walked into a fire hydrant. Luckily, my kids' teachers have clicked on that my children are very uncoordinated, and I am not causing all the bruises. Does anyone else have that? Is anyone else's children just covered? I mean, my son has got legs that look like I pin him down and punch him all night long. He's just he's the kid that runs one way but is looking the other way and just runs into things, falls over. Anyway, it's time for fuck around to find out what chaos did your tiny feral unleash this week? My daughter was asking what happens when you die, so we explained that, and then she said, Oh, so what about grandma and grandpa? And I said, Well, Grumma and Grandpa, you've met them, that's my mum's parents. And she goes, What about Grumpy's parents? I said, Well, they've passed away. So the first thing she said to my dad when she saw him next was, Your parents are dead, Grumpy. I nearly died. Uh, she then followed it up with my heart hurts for you. And can I tell you, I've never felt so grateful for that save. My dad's not offended, he's a very easygoing guy, and it happened ages ago. But well done for the save kid, well done for the cuteness factor with the my heart hurts for you, grumpy. Um, there's nothing better than having a bitch about a family member and then they go and tell them exactly what you said. So, yeah, share with me. I want to hear all about those funny unhinged moments within your life. But I want to share what my rage this week, well actually most weeks, was and is, is when my children's ears just suddenly stop working, you know, especially in public places like car parks and playgrounds and trying to get them off the play equipment at school. And I'm sitting there trying to be my calm, collected. Guys, it's time to go. Guys, it's time to go. I tell you on the inside, I want to scream. I want to scream, I want to swear, but I'm surrounded by other parents, and I had my son decided to run towards the road one morning after drop-off. He was home with me on a Friday morning, and he ran full speed towards the crossing. Now, I don't have an issue knowing that the crossing lady at my daughter's school is absolutely fantastic. However, two days prior, he ran across the road with not without waiting. So I was yelling, Harry, stop running. Harry, stop running. You're gonna hurt yourself. He was wearing crocs, I knew he'd fall over. I'm now screaming, Harry, stop running. Trying to get my ass in gear to get him. He then falls over and completely eats it. I then see another mum, and I'm like, don't touch him! Because I am a fuck around and find out parent, and I stood him up and I said, I told you to stop running. That's what happens. So then we walked to the car with a sulky little boy. Yeah, sometimes that mum rage definitely comes out, so you're not alone. It is one of those things. I definitely think I'm getting better. I mean, I'll go into mental health and and postpartum in another episode too, but I used to have PMDD and I think a bit of postpartum depression, and due to medication, now I feel 10 times better. But I do think if the rage is completely unhinged, talk to someone because I definitely went through that stage when my kids were a little bit younger. Waking up 10 out of 10 angry um is not a good way to start the day. And I think, yeah, there's definitely resources out there. Um, if you don't want to talk to us, you don't want to talk to the village, definitely have a chat to your GP. Okay, my next segment is the village verdict. This week I did post my unhinged opinion about gentle parenting. I gave some insight on Tuesday into my thoughts. I have had to talk to my psychologist about what is gentle parenting and how does it work. Due to having a military dad, we were sort of just like soldiers. We were told what we do what we had to do, where we had to go, and what that was what we did. I don't remember ever like having learning moments in regards to that. I just feel like we just followed dad's orders and that was the end of it. Um, but I asked my psychologist why do my kids fight me every turn? And there was things like we would argue every morning about what they wanted to wear, especially if you've got kids in daycare or kinda, and it's one of those things where you know they go through this age of wanting to wear tutus or my son wears shorts every day, like he will not put pants on. And I said to her, I'm like, what do I do? I'm just having these arguments every morning, and she goes, just pack a pair of pants, pack a jumper, tell the daycare, or tell school it's in the bag. If they get cold, they get cold. Guess what? You've provided for them. And it sounds so silly and so simple, but oh my gosh, what a game changer! Wear what you want. Go on, be cold. But guess what? You put a jumper in your bag. I have to say, having a school-aged child now has made a difference. Like, oh my gosh, not having to pick an elf every day is just a game changer in itself. I spoke to the psychologist about, you know, how do I break their will? Like, they're just so strong-willed, and I think gentle parenting is for gentle kids, and I'm like, how do I break that? And she's like, Well, no, you need to nurture it. And I'm like, that's not the answer I want. I want you to tell me how do I break their will? How do I stop them fighting me? How do I stop them talking back? I'm like, I had a military dad, wouldn't dare speak back, and I used to talk to my dad, and I've said, How why did they not listen to me? And he's like, Well, stop yelling. And I'm like, Well, hang on a second, all you did was yell. So somehow wires are crossed here. I'm trying to figure out how to do this and how do you do it when you've been taught one way and it is just such a difficult thing to figure out. So I can't wait to hear other mums' opinions and thoughts and yeah, share our group wisdom, I suppose. I then want to do some rapid fire questions. So let me know your thoughts on this. Cocoa melon or pepper pig? I would much rather pepper pig, even though I think she's a sassy little bitch. Um, cocoa melon I cannot stand. Coffee order would be just a standard latte. Standard latte, normal milk, one sugar. Have I ever hidden from my kids? I don't think I've ever hidden. I just might not respond to mum for a while or until they come and find me, especially if I'm on the toilet. I'm not screaming back. They can come find me if they need me. And my favourite swear word um would be fuck. There is no doubt that there won't be a few F-bombs in this. But anyway, that's just a short introduction of myself. Um, I do want to close each episode with a loud mum of the week on a shout out to a mum. Now, this is someone who I actually personally don't know and witnessed this last week, and I just wanted to shout out to her because she handled it like an absolute champ. I was sat at swimming lessons. This mum sat there with her son trying to keep him entertained whilst obviously her other child's swimming. And this kid just yells, fuck. And everyone just went quiet. And he knew, and he just said, fuck again. And mum went, oh, we don't say that. And yet again he went, fuck, and she went, oh my goodness, excuse me, where did you hear that? Oh, I heard daddy say that in the garden, and I tell you, I've never laughed so hard in my entire life. And I know you're not supposed to laugh at children swearing, but I just think it's hilarious. And when my kids swear, my husband hates it. He I laugh so hard, and he thinks I'm encouraging it, but I just think they're just words. But I just want to end with uh you are doing better than you think, and if you yelled today, honestly, exactly the same. Stay loud, mums, and I'll be back next week with my guests. But thank you for listening.