My Kid Put His Hand Through a Window

This week, Erin joins me for an honest conversation about ADHD, parenting chaos, mum guilt and the diagnosis debate. We chat about trusting your instincts, supporting kids who need extra help, and the reality of motherhood behind the highlight reel. Plus, plenty of laughs, mum fails and tiny feral stories along the way.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:19

Welcome to the Lab Mum's Club, where we say the quiet part out loud, the good, the bad, and the absolutely cooked parts of parenting. What are we drinking today? Wine, coffee, or tears? Well I'm sat here with my guest, Erin. We're having a glass of wine and Erin's on Neds, which are what? Whiskey and Cokes? Uh huh. Because Erin's an absolute bogan. Of course I am. Did you have me any other way? But introduce yourself. Who are you and what ages are your children? Or child I should say.

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Well, so I'm Erin and I have a son who is seven. But do you also class a husband as a child? Technically, two children. So got two. That's a bit of a hard one, isn't it? Um, how did we meet? I actually look after and looked after your son and daughter.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Yeah, so Erin was one of the first daycare teachers that I handed my little ones over to. That was during COVID. Yeah, and Harry would have been six months. I think six months. I don't think he was even crawling. I think he was a potato. I've still got very fond photos that you took of him at daycare. Him as his little red faced potato head. Yeah. Um, what are five facts about you? Doesn't have to be five, just a few facts is totally fine.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

Well, obviously I work in childcare and then I got two dogs. Love going camping, and I love my family. Like my son keeps me on my toes, clearly. But no. We'll get to that. Yes. We will.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

And on a scale of thriving to crying in the pantry, how are you going?

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Crying in the pantry.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Is that just this week or not or like just motherhood in general?

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Just motherhood in general?

SPEAKER_01 1:50

Yep. Yep. Challenging. You have your days and you have your good days, and then you're just like, leave me alone. Yeah, no, that's totally fair. Um Alright mums, can we also just acknowledge for a second why do kids grow so fucking fast? One minute the clothes fit, the next minute the ankles are hanging out of their pants, and somehow they've outgrown the shoes they've worn for approximately seven business days. This episode's small business shout-out is Found Again Treasures, and honestly, secondhand shopping has become one of my favourite things as a mum. Because in this economy, we cannot keep buying brand new everything every five minutes. Kids grow too fast, they ruin things too fast, and half the time they only wear something twice before suddenly becoming the size of a small adult. Found Again Treasures is full of gorgeous pre-loved finds and hidden gems, giving beautiful things a second life and saving us mums a bit of money while we're at it. So if you love a bargain, love sustainable shopping, or just refuse to spend $50 on a jumper that your kid will stain immediately, go check out Found underscore again underscore treasures on Instagram. Let's start off with a bang. What was your mum failed this week?

SPEAKER_00 2:50

Getting a son up for school and forgetting his Ritalin. Oh the office and go, can I have his Ritalin? I forgot.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Let's just rewind a little bit with that. So Erin's beautiful boy is ADHD diagnosed.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

Both combined.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

So what do you mean both combined?

SPEAKER_00 3:09

So he's combined, so he's hyperfunction and hyperfixation. So he's happy medium, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

So does that come under ADHD or a spectrum like is that part of the spectrum?

SPEAKER_00 3:21

Yeah, so it's ADHD combined. So you've obviously got ADHD where they're hyperfunction.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

And you've got ADHD that's low function.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

Okay, I didn't know that was a thing. I just assumed ADHD was like kids that are just running around like loonies.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

Yeah, so it's like a combined.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

So he has that, oh my god, I'm gonna go to get and then it's but I have to do this right now, or I just want to do this. Yeah, it's just I can't be bothered. Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

It's a month of the week not giving it forgetting about it, and they're school is lovely. Like I've forgot it a couple of times, and I'm like, God damn it, Julian, like, oh forgot your Ritalin halfway down the street to go to school.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

And I walk in the office, I'm like, can I have his Ritalin?

SPEAKER_01 3:58

Well, at least there's a stash at school. Do he does he normally have to take another dose at school?

SPEAKER_00 4:03

So he takes one normally in the morning with me at about ten past eight, give or take, and then one at lunchtime, so at about Tom or something.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

Yeah, okay. And that just helps him take a focus. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Skull of a four-hour mark. Okay. So speaking of forgetting things, so my mum failed in the week was Libby went to school with no lunchbox. I am all about independence in our house, and I make the kids do a lot of stuff themselves. So I'm like, cool, you need to pack your bags. Like I might she might pack her lunchbox, I check it to make sure it's got, you know, a few different things in it and not just lolly's. And then I'm like, okay, it's packed. Can you please go put it in your bag? So she went to put it in her bag and I just assumed it was packed, like that's all good to go. I get a call from her teacher, hey, Libby doesn't have any food today. And I'm like, what do you mean? She has a lunchbox. She goes, Well, it's empty. So I said, Hang on, what do you mean? Did she eat everything? I'm like, has she eaten it all before school? And I'm like, hang on, what colour's the lunchbox? She says pink. I'm like, oh, I know it was a blue lunchbox today. And I was like, she's got her lunchbox from yesterday and must have she must have got a bit confused or distracted in the morning and then not taken the lunchbox out and put the new one in. Just thought, oh, there's a lunchbox in my bag. So bless her. Her teacher gave her a popcorn and some fruit. And then she's like, does she have a lunch order today? Because it happened to be a Wednesday. Oh, screw. And I said yes. So I didn't have to leave work or anything. But I did feel like okay. My husband was like, well, maybe they're not quite kids swearing and people hurting themselves. I don't know why Orion thinks I'm an absolute psycho. But it's funny. I just think, don't get me wrong, if an old lady fell over in the street, I would rush over and help. But I don't know if it's like a nervous reaction that I would laugh. I'm not sure I don't be full doing it, but that's just me. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

I don't think kids anyway.

SPEAKER_01 5:43

Like anyway. My fuck around and find out moment this week was um I was personally victimised by my daughter. Uh we went to Jell's Park last weekend. We love it there. It's beautiful, like, not bad for like a quick short 20-minute drive. Um, and the fact that there's this massive space to go kick a footy, and no one's ever on it. Like it's always just us. So we kick a football, run down to the bottom, and then we like work our way back up. It's a good half an hour, 45 minutes of just literally just the kids running. Anyway, we're playing football, the kids have just started Oskick, messing around, wrestling with the kids, and Olivia thought it would be a really good idea just to pants me. I'm bending over wrestling with her brother, and she just walks up and says and just pulls my pants down and flashes my ass and my inappropriate underwear to the park. I have never screamed so hard in my entire life. And I was like, Alright, you fucked around, let's find out. It's fucking on. Game on, bitch. Like, do it again. Just like, you're not touching this fucking football now. Like, now I'm gonna do it to you. Mini's on. I was like, I just couldn't believe it. I was like, I cannot believe you just made me moon the whole park. So I thank God it wasn't like super busy. So this week for the village verdict, um, our hot take of the week. Are children being over-diagnosed with disorders, or are we just better at recognising and supporting kids who were previously missed? I have mixed views on this. I think that with social media there is a bigger understanding and a bit more awareness of it. But I do think that then people overthink and think, oh, my kid has X, my kid has Y. Um people just go, oh, there's just there is so much on social media, my kid there's nothing wrong with my kid, they're just being a child, right? Do you think social media has changed how quickly parents jump to labels or diagnoses?

SPEAKER_00 7:30

It's 50-50, because even like when you know, you know. But then you've got parents like myself. I know that Julian had ADHD from the beginning, because I have it. I'm not ashamed to say it. My husband has it, yeah. But he was the one that kept was in denial of it all. And I feel like males are more in denial, saying that oh, they're just children, they're gonna do this, they're gonna do this. Boys will be boys, boys will be boys. But it's like, no, there is something there, and on you, in your heart of hearts, you know.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

What were the signs? Like what do you see and go uh flagging that?

SPEAKER_00 8:07

So obviously there's a lot of different signs. There's your hyperfixation, your outbursts, as I like to call them in our family, blackouts.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:18

Which Julian has now learns that a blackout shouldn't be a blackout towards glass, but that's a different story for another time. But it's all different. All children are different in all different sites. So there's like you can have your hyperfixations, you can have your outbursts, you can have them playing nicely, and then all of a sudden something tricks in their head and go, impulse, I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

I think that's why it's now a spectrum. It's not a child is autistic, a child has ADHD, or a child has Asperger's. Like there's so many overlapping factors and everything different. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:52

Everything overlaps. So like even so you can have ADHD, you can have ADD, there's ODD, there's AUD, ADHD.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

Yeah, I've seen that.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Everything all combined. And yeah, unfortunately, Julian is combined, so he has that hyperfax hyperfixation.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Hyperfixation.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Yep. 1230 mil brain clicks out.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

And then he has that focus where he will sit and do Lego.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

Yeah. He's fascinated with dinosaurs or talk about Beyblades or whatever he's interested in because it's something he's not interested in.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

Then and if you give him something that he's not, he's like, no, I'm not doing it.

SPEAKER_01 9:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

So, like just before coming here, Michael has got like the Masters of the Universe.

SPEAKER_01 9:35

Is that that new movie that's coming out? Yeah, we saw it. Amazing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:39

He sat through it fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:41

Like, oh my god. Yeah. For a child that has ADHD.

SPEAKER_01 9:43

He did really well. Holy shit, he did really well. Did you go to the kid's cinema or the normal one, V Max? Did you put headphones on him or anything? He had the headphones. Because it wasn't too loud. Well, we found Harry's been always a bit like it, too loud, too loud.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

Yeah, but we said to him it was up to him if he wanted his headphones or not. He took them. Yeah. He put them on all the way through.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

Yeah, amazing.

SPEAKER_00 10:03

Two-hour movie, and he sat through. Occasional talk, but that's it.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

I talk in movies too, but that's totally fine. So I'm like the person that was there asking my husband questions. And he's like, Katie, I've seen as much as you have. I don't know who that person is or who that person's married to. And I will also sit there the whole time predicting it. So I'll go, oh we like it. Correct. Or that person's that person did it. Or that person's a bad guy. Oh, that person has slept with you like the whole time. And I think it drives Ryan nuts.

SPEAKER_00 10:31

I kind of have to sit quiet during it because Michael loves Master of the Universe.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

So it's like I'm just gonna let him have his moment and just enjoy it. Fair the dreams of nerdy husbands. Oh much from your perspective, what's harder to see, obviously, whilst working in childcare as well, but children being diagnosed too quickly or concerns being dismissed that they'll grow out of it?

SPEAKER_00 10:54

It is hard because like even as a parent, you see the signs. As an educator, see signs. And then you try and talk to a parent, or even if you talk to a parent in general, it's like, oh yeah, no, no, no, no. We've got a few of them now that are starting to go, okay. There is, but what can we do? Where do we go? Where do we start? Type thing. It's always those questions of it's okay to ask questions and be curious. And okay to be on medication. It's okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

I never wanted Julian on medication. Never wanted him. Still kind of don't, but I know it's good for him. I know it's helping.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

Especially in school environments. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

So obviously when he first started, all Red Chronicles.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

So go go back to sorry, we got distracted distracted. Go back. What were the flacks? What were the signs that you were like there is something happening here?

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Anger.

SPEAKER_01 11:45

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:46

His anger was a lot more just aggressive. Just aggressive. Like it's kind of like Michael.

SPEAKER_01 11:53

Just blows up.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

Blows up.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:55

I'd blow up.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

But any little NYX, you'll go, rah. That's like Julian.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

And you're like, that's good. Yeah, that's right. Why are we doing it?

SPEAKER_00 12:04

It's like even when he hurts himself or does something, or even if we just kind of raise, yeah. Yeah. Even if we just raise our voice a little bit to the dogs, he'll go off and cry. And it's like, buddy, we're not yelling at you.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:19

We're yelling at the dogs. He's very sensitive.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Very sensitive. It's like, oh. But that's okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

Because it's also so funny because like with different parents, some parents or some dads might be like, oh, you're just being a wuss. Or like, oh yeah, like it just be obviously every household's so different. So um interesting how people then interpret that and what their response would be.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Because obviously males, yes, I'm going back to you guys, they tend to not want to know. Yeah. Do you think Because it's hard for them because they're like, oh, that's my boy, that's my son.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

So do you see it more with dads that is like they'll just go out of it, or boys will be boys? And then the mums are a bit more proactive and want to start early intervention.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

Yeah, because I've got a lot, I won't say a lot. There's a few children I've worked with throughout the whole 13 years of my life of working in childcare. Um I do see it. I see it a lot where the mums want that help and they're getting that help, and then the dads are like, no, that'll just go out. It's not necessary.

SPEAKER_01 13:24

Why are we spending X amount of dollars on Do you think that some kids are or some parents are quick to over-diagnose and like think that there's something wrong when there isn't? Absolutely. Because it's so renowned now and like it's so on the radar?

SPEAKER_00 13:38

But no, a lot of them do. A lot of them just jump to that mark and it's like, but wait for a bit. Wait until you see the signs. Then go, okay, we might do it. If you can't see signs, the schools will help.

SPEAKER_01 13:50

We were talking earlier about girls just mask as much better. So like it's just it's just being open to the conversation and the communication, I suppose, but it will come out in some way, shape.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

Exactly. Because like if it early intervention is the best intervention.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

And I've always run by that.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

Do you think we've gone a bit too far with labels, or do you think labels are helping families access the support they need?

SPEAKER_00 14:12

Excuse me. 50-50 yeah. Some are like, yeah, this my child's ADHD. Like I I say it because I know occasionally Julian does do stuff that I'm like, he does have ADHD. Especially with obviously with where I work, with being in the childcare industry. Speaking about my son and obviously having the ADHD, it kind of helps those parents.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

Helps people relate, yeah, and go, you're actually coming from a point of experience. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

Yeah, because obviously we're not doctors.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

God knows we're not doctors.

SPEAKER_01 14:45

But I guess that's another issue, I suppose, is it's not a daycare teacher's job to diagnose. No. But you are the one spending the most time with them and to flag something and say, hey, look, this could be something to just keep an eye on. Um it may be worth contacting Monash or whatever to do an early intervention.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

Because I know with most now they're talking about GPs doing a course or whatever it was for them to go, yeah, your child has ADHD. I don't want that.

SPEAKER_01 15:17

Yeah, I don't in some regards, and I do in others because it's affordability because it costs a fucking fortune to get a diagnosis for a child or an adult. And that's going to be more even for adults. Like as I'm as a woman, like I definitely feel like I'm definitely on some sort of spectrum. And I wonder if it will be I don't really want to go down the avenue with three and a half thousand dollars to get a diagnosis, but if I can go to the doctor and get some sort of medication that just helps me focus from day to day and cope a bit better, I wouldn't say no.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Like runs in the family. Yeah. A lot of people don't realise this, but it runs in the family.

SPEAKER_01 15:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

So if I have it, my son will have it.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

Back in the day, parents just think, yeah, you don't have it. Well, actually, to be fair, give my credit, my parents' credit, where credit's due. There were concerns about my brother when he was younger, and my mum did go and take him down the avenue of getting him diagnosed. However, back then, 25 years ago, he didn't get diagnosed, and back then it was you're put into one category. Yeah. Now there's now it's this spectrum and it's different. And I think that um he's like fine, but definitely as a kid, there was definitely flags and signs of like he just could have helped, would have helped having extra help at certain points.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

Yeah, because that early interventions if you don't get it earlier, then it's harder to give it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

What would you say to a parent who feels scared about getting their child assessed?

SPEAKER_00 16:36

Don't feel. Don't be. Don't be scared. If you've got the gut feeling, go with the gut feeling.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

And I've said that to so many parents on the worst, and like if there's nothing wrong, there's nothing wrong, they're gonna get assessed and there's nothing wrong. And if something does come up, well then you're putting into procedures and things like that.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

You've got that place, you've got that early intervention.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

And that's what I've always said to a lot of parents. Go with your gut feeling. If you got if you think there's something there, do it.

SPEAKER_01 17:03

Yeah. And if there's not, there's no harm in helping. There's no harm.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

No harm in help.

SPEAKER_01 17:09

Do you think like how much of the stigma around autism, ADHD, or any developmental delays do you think stops parents from seeking help? Like they don't want that label on their kid. Do you think that's a big factor?

SPEAKER_00 17:20

It is, because I as I said, I didn't don't want Julio medication, but I'm happy to say it's got ADHD. Yeah. Happy to say it. Because parents are starting to realise that it's not a stigma.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

Have you like made mum friends at school with other kids that are on spectrum? Yeah. And has that been nice?

SPEAKER_00 17:39

It has been, because even like a lot of them I still would drop off, because I still drop him off because that's his routine.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

Occasionally he'll get into a child's face.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

His impulse. And I can see him kind of stand back a bit.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

They're not sure how to handle it.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

Julian, stand back. Julian, you need to stop getting into faces. He'll generally realise, but then he'll still do it. I'm like, oh my god, child, Julian, stop it. And he's like, looked at me like, yeah, you need to stop.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

He just doesn't understand that that's not a good social cube. And yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:07

But he's slowly understanding. But all the ones that are like have it, you can see that they it's weird, they congregate.

SPEAKER_01 18:15

That's so funny.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

They all just come together.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

It's really nice that they are all getting on. Helping them help them socialise and make friends.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

Because there's so many, like, oh, there's one little kid, he's she's so cute, like, oh, just adorable. His girlfriend.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

Oh, that's so cute. He's guilty. That's the best.

SPEAKER_00 18:29

So obviously when he turned seven in March, so he had a party. We didn't want him to, but we did. And his girlfriend came. His mum was a bit funny because obviously we haven't met each other before and then we don't really know anything. So one of the parents I talked to.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

You don't know their dynamic. You don't know if it's all one-sided. You don't know if they're actually good mates, or like yeah, you don't know how else.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

Oh, those two together are just adorable.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

Two peas in a pod.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

I'm happy if they like got married. Oh my god, that's so happy. Like arranged marriage. But no, so like she kind of messaged one of another friend of mine that her daughter goes to school. She goes, Oh, just wondering how Erin is, blah blah blah. She goes, She's lovely, absolutely lovely. You'll love her, she'll get along.

SPEAKER_01 19:11

She's a relaxed, laid-back person you'll ever meet.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

Yeah. Pretty much. Who wouldn't? Yeah. And that kind of made her so much better now. Like she's just relaxed. And then I saw her, saw her and her daughter like come back from Mac because I didn't see, like I saw her, but I didn't trigger. And then all I hear is Julian. And then I hear Lovey.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

Oh, that's so nice. Like, oh my god, she's cute. It's really nice seeing your kids make connections with people anyway, like finding those like couple of friends that they do have a really good connection with.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

And then he's like got another one. I do love my son, don't get me wrong, but oh my god, when he's turning around and going, Oh, there's a party next weekend on Sunday, and I'm like, What party? Oh's birthday? Oh. Sharky, his stuffed toy.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

I'm just like, why are you saying it's everybody?

SPEAKER_00 20:03

Yeah, I had like a parent message me before going, Oh, just wondering, I'm like, No, no party. Three months ago. We're not having a party for a shark toy. That's quite sweet. But then she goes, We'll catch up. And I'm like, that's fine, like we can catch up. Like, I'm happy to catch up. And she's like, I'll bring a birthday cake and candles.

SPEAKER_01 20:21

It's so different now with like the self-awareness and the awareness of parents. Like, I'm sure you remember when you went to school, there was like one naughty kid in the class that was totally fucking non-spectral. It is class clear. Or like one disruptive or one angry kid, or like and they were just ostracized, like they didn't have friends, no one would play with them. Like and it just it's so nice now that parents are aware. Like, if anything, I'd be pushing my kids to make sure that they have friends to play with and like make sure that they're always making friends with the kids that don't have people or passes. It's just such a different headspace and mindset completely.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

It so is because obviously back then it's more like oh you can't play with them because X, Y, and Z.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

Or they're aggressive, you can't play with them. There was no understanding of like they might just need a bit more time to process things, or you give them space. Like, I think that we're having different conversations with our children, if they're on the spectrum or not, of how to socialise and how to approach their situations. And I'm sure that you appreciate that if Julian's having a moment at school and he is having a meltdown, that other kids are a bit more kind of aware, or like you go home and parents are having honest conversations. Because I definitely like Livy. There's a there's a child in Libby's class that she says, Oh, he doesn't listen. Um, he's obviously like disruptive. And I'm like, okay, well, you don't fucking listen to me. So exactly, like every kid has a moment of not listening, it's all good. Like there's no reason to then not be that that person's friend or whatever. So it is nice having more open conversations around that. I just don't remember having those conversations with my parents. Like, I don't think I came home and was like talking about my friends in the same way, which is tricky. Julian does, he's like, Mark o this and Marco that's that's nice. Do you think previous generations just missed the signs because they didn't know better, or are we Sort of just making it normal behaviour now. Back then, yeah, they did. Because as I said, like I know I am. Well, it's back to like the boys will be boys, or like girls who might have OCD are just more organised, or like she just likes things to be a bit tight in.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

I know I am. And I'm proud to say I know I am. And I know I've got obviously autism and stuff as well, because a lot of people have picked up. I can't write with blue pens.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

That's a random thing. Why is that? I don't know. I can't. Like a sensory thing almost.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

Yeah, I can't do it. They've now worked out at work because I've written in blue pen. So I need I like I don't want to do it, but I had to do it, because I've obviously doing my timesheets. Yeah, I can't do it. I cannot do it. And even with Julian, there's like a few things that he can't do that I'm like, oh my god, that's me.

SPEAKER_01 22:58

Yeah, you just know that it's it's something you've possibly anyway, so do you think early intervention genuinely can change outcomes for kids?

SPEAKER_00 23:05

Yes. Especially if like obviously being ADHD, depending on which ones you are, it helps.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

And is that more in the way of like setting up the parents for success?

SPEAKER_00 23:15

Yep. Because there is a lot of decline opening. No, it's not.

SPEAKER_01 23:22

I just have a pet snake.

SPEAKER_00 23:24

Where's a snake? No, that's not a big one. Don't even know. Even though I've got one on me. But hey. Um But no, it does. It's helping them a lot more.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

But is it so sorry? It's setting them up. Is it setting up the parents too in regards to like getting them systems and processes that will help them manage?

SPEAKER_00 23:43

Because obviously with sorry, with with ADHD, we're not in that NDIS funding.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

Yeah. So you don't get extra help.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

Which we don't get extra help, but there is help out there. Yeah. You've just got to look. If it was underneath NDIS funding, it would be amazing.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

I feel like all the NDIS changes that are coming in, it's just gonna be shit. I I just think they're cutting this. It is shit. It's a bit shocking.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

It helps the children, it helps the families that are doing it rough.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

But the big thing is the family. I think that like for a parent that could get a break.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

Yeah, my sister's the same. Like she's a single parent and I love my nephew. He is just oh. But he's obviously he's a lot though. He's oh he's just gorgeous. Like he is so like it's only a year between me, like between the boys. The boys. So even with him being the way he is, they both they get on alright. Love each other. Oh, that's nice.

SPEAKER_01 24:41

Well, there's obviously like a level of understanding there.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

It's good because even we don't we don't catch up as much as we should catch up because obviously she's down in French Girl and we're here. But no, like she does, she's like, we need to catch up, and the boys love each other.

SPEAKER_03 24:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

We've facetimed each other because obviously with the incident that had happened with Julian, they face time. So with the blackouts, as I've said before, he had a blackout, complete and utter blackout, to the point where it was bedtime, it was 7 30. We g we give him warnings to say, you know, you need to get ready, gonna do this, gonna have your melatonin. He had all that. Like, alright, we've got to brush your teeth. He didn't want to brush his teeth, he didn't want to go to the toilet. And I was like, no, we need to go at least do something. He was angry, he was very upset. He grabbed my work shirt, because I had it obviously washed, grabbed my work shirt, threw it on the ground because he was angry, and I was like, okay, I'm like, no, you need to pick this up before you go to bed. Then it spiraled. He's completely blacked out to the point where he kind of And when you say blacked out, he just sees red.

SPEAKER_01 25:49

Like he's just red can't he just know what weighs up, he's so angry, he just can't come back down. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:54

You cannot remember. So he I honestly think that he thought he was going to a wall.

SPEAKER_01 26:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

But it turned out to be the glass, which made him then kind of came.

SPEAKER_01 26:06

So he punched he punched a window.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

So he wasn't punched, he kind of slapped.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

So instead of going that way, he went with his hands downwards.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

So when he went downwards, he's kind of obviously cut.

SPEAKER_01 26:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

Very close to a major artery. The major artery, which was like shit. Yeah. So which kind of woke him up.

SPEAKER_01 26:26

So just to fiddlisteners, because obviously they're not seeing what you're doing. So he has slapped a window with two hands. It has shattered. The shattered glass, because he slapped it in a downward motion, has then cut his wrist um long lengthways. So not sideways, but lengthways, very close to a major artery, which and it was a it's been a bit of a shock for you to sort of move past that and realise how close of a risk that was. So when you said that that shocked him and he came too, what was he like obviously he's now bleeding, so what was his response? Was he apologetic? Was he freaking yeah?

SPEAKER_00 27:04

I was just like, because Michael was, I think, going towards the bedroom. I was still in the bar, like in the kitchen area. And then both of us heard the the smash of the glass. Yeah. But we didn't were like, what? And then we then I heard mum. I'm like, and then he hit the panic. Fuck crap. Michael grabs like the paper toweling or whatever. So I grabbed that, his hand was turning purple because I was holding it so fucking hard.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

Yeah, because you were trying to stop the bleeding.

SPEAKER_00 27:27

Because I was trying to stop the bleeding.

SPEAKER_01 27:28

And then like a p like a mum tourniquet.

SPEAKER_00 27:30

Yeah, pretty much. I was like, Oh my fucking god! And I kept saying, I'm like, don't leave me. And he goes, I'm not. And I'm like, don't leave me. As much as you think that was just you panicking, you were just me panicking. But I'm like, as much as yes, we do fight, we do, because it's that's what we do. Don't wish he's dead.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

But that was like a shock for both of you. It was a shock for all of us because we're just like, holy shit.

SPEAKER_01 27:50

Well what that anger can then eventuate to.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

Yeah, because that's that was Michael's biggest fear as well, of with him having his blackouts.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

He could hurt himself.

SPEAKER_00 27:58

He could hurt himself.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

And now that's happening.

SPEAKER_00 28:00

And this has happened.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

He's now And now you want to wrap him up in Cottonwool.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

I'll still let him do whatever he wants, but it's more the don't push yourself. I think it still haunts him.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:12

Because he's still reliving that.

SPEAKER_01 28:14

Yeah. Have you had any like meltdowns since?

SPEAKER_00 28:17

Not as big as that, but we did have it yesterday at school.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

Big couple of weeks for you.

SPEAKER_00 28:23

Shit.

SPEAKER_01 28:24

I like my child, I really do, but like it's a challenge and yeah. Some days I just want to really tricky. It is. What's the danger of that's just how they are mindset? Like if you hadn't got Julian diagnosed and he was having these major rages, and like I think that there could be parents out there that just have the headspace of, well, that's just what my kids like, or they've been through trauma or whatever. What do you think the dangers are of that just how they are?

SPEAKER_00 28:52

Well, for the example, the window.

SPEAKER_01 28:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

They might it could get to that point where it could get to that point of where they do that massive blackout.

SPEAKER_01 29:00

Yeah, but it doesn't see like the build-up to that.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

Yeah. So parents don't jump on it straight away, it could lead into a lot worse.

SPEAKER_01 29:09

Yeah, that's so interesting. And I think coming from someone that like you that's got a child on the spectrum, obviously it's just interesting hearing your opinion on it. Because I think, like I said at the beginning, there are people out there that think that our kids are just kids, and but like when you get to that point when you're watching your child be so upset that they then could hurt themselves or kill themselves. Obviously not on purpose, but like it's intense. That that's it's fucked up. Yeah. Um, okay, so separate to that, let's ask you motherhood parenting that sort of thing. Yeah, what's a parenting hill that you'll die on?

SPEAKER_00 29:47

He watches YouTube, yeah, and that's his kind of his downtime, his endorphin, if that makes sense. It's his endorphins of having that so for you, YouTube's just not the bad bad guy. He watches more like your Minecraft, because he loves Minecraft, and then once he has like he watches some shorts that are just like both me and Michael are like no.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

Oh mate, like we've banned we've banned YouTube. Um the shit that the kids are watching is just like it is just shit. There's just no other way to put it. Um did I tell you about Harry in the secret room?

SPEAKER_00 30:21

I think so.

SPEAKER_01 30:22

Him banging holes off.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

So like my son's been watching these videos of these like YouTubers that buy a house and they renovate it and they make these secrets and like they, you know, make trapdoors and things. Well, I put Harry to bed the other day and there's all these holes in his wall, like above his bedhead. I was like, what the fuck is that? And I'm thinking, like, have we got termites or ants or something that's eating through the plaster? And I yeah, and I yeah, and I just said to my mum, what is that? And he goes, Oh, it's just making a secret room. And what he'd done is he'd broken a slat off his bed with the nail on it and used it like a fucking hammer. And he must have been pretty quiet because we can hit everything in this house. So he's banged holes into the plaster boards. Dunno. Fucking little shit. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_00 31:03

Harry the bee Harry though. Yes. What's what's something people don't talk about enough in motherhood? The struggles. The pain, the frustration of it, and it's a few of the things.

SPEAKER_01 31:16

Which is why I've started this podcast. I think that a lot of things are kind of washed over in other podcasts on social media, you're not necessarily seeing or hearing about people's raw, real detail and like how hard day-to-day life can be, especially with kids on the spectrum, especially with kids having these blackout, violent outbursts. And not just with kids on the spectrum, just in think in general, like the difficulties aren't talked about enough. And I love catching up with a friend and going, My wake has been a shit show. And they're like, Yep, equal, like come on, hit me, you know, and you can just then disbrete. 100%. And I just yeah, I'm I'm with you. I think that the struggles aren't talked about enough. 100%. Never is. What's your survival tip for mums?

SPEAKER_00 32:01

Just go as roll with the punches.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

Yeah, okay. You're just such a free-flowing, like, go with a flow.

SPEAKER_00 32:06

Pretty much if your child, like obviously not at 3.30 in the morning or 3.30 in the afternoon of hey, can we go here? So are you are you not a very structured mum? I don't like to.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

Okay. But even though there's a bit of a routine.

SPEAKER_00 32:23

Routine.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

There's a routine, but not necessarily structure.

SPEAKER_00 32:27

So like on like obviously Julian's 7.30 bed.

SPEAKER_01 32:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:31

Generally. But Friday nights we generally let him go till about 8 30 at night.

SPEAKER_01 32:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

But normally it's about that 7 30 mark. But obviously with him sleeping with us at the moment due to the accident, he's going to bed the same time as Michael, which is about eight o'clock. Okay. But I still generally give him melatonin about 7-7.30 mark. Yeah. So at least he can sleep.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

Yeah. Just be not like just gotta get into that deep sleep.

SPEAKER_00 32:55

So like during school days, there's some type of structure. But once it comes to weekend, it's like it's just free flow. Let's just do what you feel like doing.

SPEAKER_01 33:03

What's something you've judged yourself on that Julian just could not care less about? Me being fat.

SPEAKER_00 33:08

Oh, I'm not fat per se. I'm just I still got the baby weight after seven years. Yeah. Bees. Hemen for beat, I do love my tide, you guys. Mum, I can see your bum. Mum, I can see your tummy. I'm like, yeah, it's because of you.

SPEAKER_01 33:21

Are we all like I get granted regularly? Oh, you've got a big bottom, or you know, your tummy's jiggly or and I'm like, you know what? I've grown two babies in this body. Exactly. And I just can't, I'm not gonna beat myself up about it. Yes, I'd love to be skinnier, I'd love to lose some weight.

SPEAKER_00 33:35

I'd love to kind of be back to where I was, but I'm like, it's my body.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

It's also it, but to be fair and honest, it is front of mind for me. Like, I do want to be losing weight. Yeah. This is I think about it whilst I'm shoving ten nuggets in my mouth.

SPEAKER_00 33:46

And like I eat chocolate, I go to Cole's and like I was like, oh, can we do buy this and buy that? That's kind of my secret. It's like it's like he knows I'll do it because I eat it in car, I'll shove it. Oh my god, that's so funny.

SPEAKER_01 33:57

Me and mine we're like we haven't done it so much from since we moved house, which I'm surprised because Maccas is around the corner. But at our old house, we'd order late-night McDonald's and we'd both be like lying in bed at like 11 o'clock eating McDonald's together. And we both joke, like, you can't leave me. This is why I'm fattening you up. Yeah. No one else will love you because you're fat. We're gonna love each other.

SPEAKER_00 34:16

Oh Michael's like, because he goes, he's obviously three three o'clock gym, and then occasionally he's like you know, and his belly and he goes, Oh, look at my belly, and I'm like, shut up dad podge. Give it a rest. You're 30 something years old now, you're like nearly 40.

SPEAKER_01 34:30

And also, unless you're gonna live with broccoli and chicken, you're never gonna be a shredded yeah, but like that's so boring. Like, I don't want to live like that. I do want to enjoy my food, and I do try to stick to like the 2080 rule where it's like 80%'s pretty good food, and then 20% is the yucky food. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 34:47

I advise that. You're the opposite. Mine's opposite. I literally made much today.

SPEAKER_01 34:51

I'm just conscious, like, Livy has there must be learning about it at school, but Livy's starting to talk about, well, that's that food's not good for you. Like, you can't eat that much, or you shouldn't be drinking as much soft drink and stuff. So, like when my five-year-old daughter's coming home and saying, I want to have a healthy lunch box, I'm like, that's great. Well, let's that's fucking encouraging. Let's get on this now while she's interested in food.

SPEAKER_00 35:11

Correct. Dude, Julian's lunchbox and he comes home and it's all full still. Well, she won't oh really not eating at all. No.

SPEAKER_01 35:18

Is that because he's so distracted at lunchtime and stuff?

SPEAKER_00 35:20

With it, a fruit aversion thing, or I think it's both, because even before being on the medication, he was a grazer. So he didn't really eat much. Well, see, my kids don't stop. Like, like I think if he comes off it, he'll like devour them.

SPEAKER_01 35:34

But it's not like he's like super skinny, like he's very healthy.

SPEAKER_00 35:36

He's healthy, but he's skinny.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

Like he's not skinny skinny, so I don't think I I don't look at him, he looks my nose though. He's the same size as any other like grade one. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:44

Because he eats a lot of junk food.

unknown 35:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

And I'm jealous because he doesn't put it on and I eat it. And it's like it's because the metabolism's down to my dye.

SPEAKER_01 35:51

I just love that scene in white chicks where it's like, um Tina, they're talking, tell me, who said that? Black fat Betty.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

I've got both too. I can't. Me too.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

I don't even care. At least I love when like side boob was a sexy thing. And I'm like, yeah, great, now I have side boobs, but it hangs down to my belly button.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

I know, I've got like no bra on today. Like, oh fuck this.

SPEAKER_01 36:13

I'm like, I'm wearing my pajamas. I had to get an X-ray today and I had to take my bra off. And they're like, oh you can go into this room, and I'm like, mate. I feel like once having kids, you just have no like care.

SPEAKER_00 36:23

I had a catheter shoved up my mouth.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

Yeah, and like like like I'm like, yeah, cool, I've got a t-shirt on, I can take it off underneath my t-shirt, it's not a big deal. But I just feel like post kids, everyone's seeing me everywhere. I'm like, not that I don't have any discretion now, but I'm also like it's just it's I'm in a room with two other women, like it's not if it was a male technician, I probably would have said sure. Um it's different. And I'm sure when they x-rayed my chest they could see my nipples in my white shirt. Exactly. It's like a batween, whatever. Hello. Yes, good morning. Deer in headlights, what? 100%. Well, no, it's not a deer in headlights, it's a deer looking down to the ground with my nipples and it's not.

SPEAKER_00 37:02

But I will say in a little bit that if you haven't got shaper mint. You haven't got what? If you haven't got shape of mint bras, they're fucking amazing.

SPEAKER_01 37:10

Shape her mint bras, they're fucking amazing. So I'm gonna give a shout out to Erin, my intermo girl. She um Intermo used to be like with my mum, she'd go to an intermo party, and they'd have these like colourful lacy. Yeah, the lace. And it'd be like $180 for like this lacy set up beautiful. But was never appropriate. Like I remember my mum buying them at like parties and things, and she'd then, well, I don't know, she wasn't wearing them around me, she might have been wearing them around my dad. Yeah, yeah. But they just she used to have this beautiful collection. But then um, post-having kids, I also never had boobs before kids, so post-children to go get a proper bra fitting and to get bras that fit me, game changer. I used to, for the first like from 18 to 22, my girlfriends can vouch for me. Every time I went out, I'd get chest pain because my bras never fit properly. As soon as I drink, I'd have to have my bra or put my like bralette, because I didn't have kids and I had no tids into my handbag because I just got such bad chest pain. Whereas now I can drink till the cows come home and I don't ever get chest pain because I have bras that fit me properly. But I will look at it. I will look at it. But I but also shout out to Intimo because they they do great bras as well. What would you say to a mum listening who feels like everyone else is doing motherhood better than them?

SPEAKER_00 38:22

Don't listen to them. Because you're doing what you can to survive. You've got a roof over their heads, you got food on the table.

SPEAKER_01 38:29

Yeah, that's what I say too. What do you want Julian to learn from the way you talk about yourself and other mums? Respect.

SPEAKER_00 38:36

Which he does. Yeah. He actually respects, like it's not, it's weird because we went, there's a cafe in Cram and Park near Not Quite Right. Can't remember the name of it. There was a gentleman.

SPEAKER_01 38:49

Is that a groove train end?

SPEAKER_00 38:51

Like a no, so it's outside. So where not not quite right is it's outside, and it's got that like little cafe. It's an amazing little cafe, it's gorgeous. Like, oh, I love it. But there was a gentleman there that was on the spectrum. He was lovely. I think he also had Down syndrome too. I'm not too sure. Yeah, he's so cute. So lovely. Just oh I love those people, they it just warms my heart. Julian was playing talking about it. Respectful, and I'm like, that's what I'm a kid to be.

SPEAKER_01 39:17

That is incredible. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 39:19

Like, I didn't tell him to go, hey, yeah, you need to respect. He did it himself, and he was interacting with it.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

It's having those conversations, like it's him understanding. Yeah. But like we've had the opposite of that. So we've had like been at shopping centres, and someone's been in like an electric wheelchair, and Livy was about two and a half, and she yelled at the top of her lungs, can I have a go next? Like as if it was a ride. I nearly fucking died. Oh. And then we had this really awkward situation at a water park where the man in front had a prosthetic leg on.

SPEAKER_00 39:50

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

And I'm there lining up with the two kids, and I'm like, Don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything.

SPEAKER_00 39:56

And they said it.

SPEAKER_01 39:57

As soon as I said, Oh, why's that man got a different leg? Like, why's that man got one leg that's that's not real? Yeah. I think Harry may have even said, Is that man a pirate? You know, expected. So then I'm then trying to be as politically correct as possible, as polite and respectful as possible, whilst this man's obviously in hearing range, he's next to us. And I'm like, oh look, people have different reasons for not having a leg, like he could have been sick, he could have had an accident, right, right. Obviously, the kids are then battering me with questions. I have to say I was a bit disappointed, and I'm not saying that this needs to happen or this should have happened, but I would have loved for him to have stepped in and just said, Hey, actually, I had an accident, or hey, I lost it because of this. You know what? He could have lost in a drink driving accident and he could have been embarrassed. Like, I don't know. Yeah, he was like, buddy, can you just help me out? Just help me out, give me a couple of things. Because I'm trying to tell my kids they just need the answer. You know, it's one of those moments like why, but why? But why but why doesn't he have a leg? But why, but why, why? Dying. It was just mortifying. You can try. But I'm also trying to show the kids that everyone's body is different, like it's a good, but like unfortunately, when they're at that age, like I guess Julian's a little bit older, which is incredible. He still has that why stage. What's your this made-me feel human again thing outside of motherhood?

SPEAKER_00 41:05

Having the tribe that I have now. Your friends, your village, yeah, my little village. Because I run off this, you don't choose your friends, they choose you, basically. So that those friendships are now my family.

SPEAKER_01 41:20

I think when you find a person that you really connect with, I think me and you is a really good example of that. When you left the centre, when I took Harry and Livy, it was very much like, but hang on a second, I don't want to say goodbye. Like, how can we stay in contact? Because me and you always clicked, we always had great conversations, and I just got so comfortable with you. But this is what I mean. Like, when you find someone that you just click with, like we've now stayed in touch, it's been what five, four years. About that, yeah. Like it's really important to kind of work on those relationships and keep them going. And yeah, like we've now got a couple of mums that we all catch up with, and we're now having dinners regularly, which is amazing because it's nice to catch up with them too. Um, I think it's just important. I mean you are just sending each other memes all the time. Like we might not have to talk every day. We're constantly sending finish this sentence. Motherhood is challenging, but love it at the same time. Yeah, I love that. That seems to be a continual thing.

SPEAKER_00 42:12

Like that, yeah, hard days are hard, but hard days are hard where you just like every Friday night I'll go either to my local, which is amazing because the bottolo down in Junction Village. Yep. He's a lovely little man. I love him. He goes to me ages ago, he goes, Where have you been? I'm like, oh shit. He's my supplier. And it's like, yes, yes, yes, supplier of alcohol. No, nearly every Friday night I'm either going to the Bottolo, or if I've gone in and look in the fridge and go, I've got no one maybe next week.

SPEAKER_01 42:42

Do you think you use alcohol as a bit of a coping mechanism?

SPEAKER_00 42:46

I do because my dad did.

SPEAKER_01 42:47

Okay, that's really interesting, Sarah. I do too. So I I mean Sarah actually had this chat last week after we'd stopped recording. Yeah. Um, which was ironic, but I definitely use alcohol sometimes. It's like a safety net because I think I've been through times where I've gone, I'm gonna have to go clean, like go completely sober. Because there was a point where I was drinking so much gin and tonic, and like the problem I have with spirit, especially gin and gin GNTs, is that my standard pour is like three fingers worth, and then I've got like two fingers of gin. So it's like four or five standard drinks. And what hit me was I went to the gym once with my girlfriend Vanessa, who was also on the pod, ironically, and she went, You're right. And I'm like, Yeah, I just I was just drinking last night. She goes, Oh, what do you do? And I'm like, No, I was by myself. She goes, Oh, how many did you have? And I'm like, Oh, only three. But then I clocked and realized I came back home and there was like an inch left in the bottle. So I'm like, So my three standard drinks was fucking a third like actually because I don't taste it, like it was just yum. Yeah, because I don't think it's so at least with a bottle of wine. You can taste it and go I can taste it. I like the taste. It's like drinking lemonade, but I'll finish a bottle and I'm done. Yeah. The problem I have with spirits is that I will just keep drinking because it's There's no flavour, but there's flavour. Correct. And I've got stomach lining problems and like it's not a good idea to be binge drinking. So I do we have a rough day with kids, and I'm like, I'm gonna get a bottle of wine. And I've had to now start picking wine, because if I get the gin, I'll just drink it. And it's not like and it's actually really funny, my parents, they are big drinkers, social drinkers. I don't think they're alcoholics, or they're functionally alcoholics at least. But they will always be drinkers, and it was always like a thing for them to be like, oh Friday night's like they were always like, we can't pick you up tonight, Friday night's like my relaxed time. Correct. And then it's funny how you just sort of pick up on that habit. So for me, it's like a Thursday night because I know I don't work on Fridays. I'm home with Harry, so I might start drinking, have a couple of glasses on Thursday night. And then if it is a rough day, and Ryan's like, oh, do you need to get anything on my home? I'm like, Yeah, give me something to drink. And I remember at peak trouble, like struggling with two small children in Langware and there's a drive-thru bottle though. Yeah. So I put them in bed in their sorry, I put them in the bath in their pajamas. We all went in the car and then went through the drive-thru, got a bottle of gin and then came back, put them to bed and then started drinking. Yep. So there was a point where I was almost like, okay, do I need to go to AA? Because this is now becoming a serious crutch. I feel better now. It's just like a little bit of the weekends. Yeah. But I really went through a stage of every night.

SPEAKER_00 45:16

You have this spiral. Like when you hit that rock bottom, it's a spiral.

SPEAKER_01 45:19

It was just my way of um coping. Okay, so I've got some rapid fire questions for you. Now I've done this twice and no one has rapid fired it. It needs to be rapid fire. I don't need long answers, okay? Rapid fire. Wiggles of pepper fig. Wiggles. Favourite hidden snack.

SPEAKER_00 45:35

Well, it's not my favourite hidden snack, it's basically when I go to Carl's and I eat it on the way home.

SPEAKER_01 45:38

Just gonna get your snack on the phone. I do that with olives. I go get like olives from the deli and we'll eat them on the way home. Nice chocolate. Um what's your coffee order? Long black.

SPEAKER_00 45:48

With two sugars.

SPEAKER_01 45:49

Oh, okay. Kind of makes it a bit better. Yeah. Do you ever hide from Julian? I wish. You just can't get away? I can't. There's nowhere to hide. No. You haven't got a lockable room anywhere?

SPEAKER_00 45:57

No.

SPEAKER_01 45:58

That's a shame. Apart from the toilet, but he still comes. Yeah, he still comes and sits there. And then I got the dog. That's so funny. Um, what's your favourite swear word? Fuck.

unknown 46:06

Fuck.

SPEAKER_01 46:08

Oh, I never would have guessed that one. Oh no. Now, this is a part where it's loud mum of the week. I'd like to offer for you to give a shout-out to a mum that you think deserves a shout-out as a really great mum. Do you have a loud mum you'd like to shout out?

SPEAKER_00 46:22

My sister.

SPEAKER_01 46:23

Yeah. Why do you want to give her a shout-out?

SPEAKER_00 46:25

Because she is amazing. Yeah. And she is single mum.

SPEAKER_01 46:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:30

Single parent of a child who is on the spectrum who I do love two bits. He's just adorable. And she's just doing her hard. Just going through it. Going through it. But surviving. Yeah. Yeah. And just an ex is an absolute arsehole. But hey, we didn't say that.

SPEAKER_01 46:48

It's so hard. It's funny watching people with co-parenting relationships and like it's so easy for me to be like, well, if we ever separated, I'd never be like that. But then until you're in it, you just don't know. And you don't know you don't know how things go when things end. Like you just don't know how someone can turn and change and it's hard.

SPEAKER_00 47:05

Yeah. So he's she's doing it tough, but fuck I love her. That's the best. Hey, 60 is different.

SPEAKER_01 47:10

Gotta log her. That's amazing. So to end with, any of our listeners, you are doing better than you think. And if you yelled today, that's totally okay because I did too. But stay loud, mums, and I'll speak to you next week.