Imposter Syndrome Is Lying to You

High performers feel like frauds because they're comparing their behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel. Imposter syndrome isn't about lacking skills — it's about a broken feedback loop. Here's how to recognize when that voice shows up and what to do in the moment to shut it down with real evidence, not positive thinking.

Transcript

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Hey, I'm JP Warren. I'm not a pastor. I'm not a theologian. I'm just a guy figuring out his faith and finding out what's in the scripture keeps showing up and how I lead. This is Lead with Confidence. Five minutes. Let's go. Welcome back. Thank you. I am JP Warren. Today we are talking about something that I live on a daily basis nonstop. That is our impot that is imposter syndrome. And today we're talking about how your imposter syndrome is lying to you and actually holding you back. This is being courageous in the fear of that of that story that your mind is telling you that actually doesn't check out. All right. So what's interesting is I have suffered from imposter syndrome once I started my business, right? And I think the more you strive and succeed in life, your direction, your goal, your path, your career, the more times you will feel imposter syndrome. And what do you think imposter syndrome is? The imposter syndrome is, I don't know if anyone can resonate with this, but that belief that you got to where you were has nothing to do with your accolades. It has everything to do with luck, timing, things like that. You aren't qualified to the position that you're supposed to be in. And again, this is something that I face on a daily basis. I'm excited to talk about this because I think this is, I mean, how how many people actually suffer this? I mean, eight out of 10 people suffer this. I mean, it's stronger in minorities and women, but still, think about that. You're around the table, you're around 10 CEOs. Eight out of 10 of those CEOs is probably thinking, man, what am I doing here? I don't, I don't belong here. Like these people are a lot smarter than me. I deal with that on a daily basis, whether I'm talking to students or whether I'm at a crew club operator roundtable. All right. So what's really going on here? What's really going on is you're measuring your insides against other people's outsides, right? So that's the comparison mindset we're always doing. We're always comparing this person has it together more, this person's happier than I am, this person is smarter than me. This person, man, they're a go-getter. Guarantee you this: if you start asking those people that you think there's certain ways, if you start asking them about yourself, they'll probably give you some accolades that you never even realized on how powerful and great you are. All right. So you, you know, this is another thing too. Like whenever we do uh get, you know, in a position, we start feeling this. We start feeling I'm not ready, I'm not competent, I'm not ready for this. We think that our success and how we got there is kind of luck and timing, right? It has nothing to do with our previous um um performance of what we've done uh prior, right? And you think, and it's another another thing about confidence is you think the confident people are never uncertain, right? They're never they're always like cool, calm, collected. That's not true. Confidence shows up when you're putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, all right? I remember um, you know, I I suffer it on a completely daily basis. I mean, so I do things, you know, I do everything from you know, host these, you know, intimate uh high-level networking events at these roundtables, but I also uh face it on a daily basis whenever I'm giving workshops and presentations. Think about that. I make a living off of training people. I make a living off of helping people level up their confidence, fight their imposter syndrome. And I'm all every single time I get in this in the room and I have all these bright people in front of me, or I'm at the table and I have all these really sharp engineers around me, I'm always thinking, who am I to actually be here, you know, talking to you? I've been faces with students. I go to universities and I talk to students about communication skills. I am always second-guessing myself, thinking, who am I up here to deliver to you? But I remember one thing that my wife told me we had there was an Oklahoma City pipeliners um event, and I was talking at it. I don't know pipeline stuff. You know, I've been in this industry for 21 years. I don't know about this stuff. And my wife said, Hey, honey, listen to me. You're here for a reason. You are who you are because of who you are, and the only thing you have to do is impress that one person that invited you. That dropped my nerves, get up there, and you just I started having fun with it. And it was such a great uh speech, speech, talk, call presentation, call it what you want. All right. So now we're gonna talk about whenever you are faced with these thoughts of like, oh, I'm not the person for the role, or this is way beyond my comfort level, or anything like that. Here's some frameworks for you to actually beat down your imposter syndrome. Take your imposter syndrome to court with this evidence to beat them in court to have a winning verdict, all right? Because here's the deal. At the end of the day, you are the person for the role. You are where you're at because of your success, because of what you contributed, because of your performance. All right. So that is number one area point blank. You are where you are because of who you are. All right. So pause on that and say that, okay? The second thing is, and this is kind of going off a tangent. I am a firm believer in neuroplasticity and the things we say to ourselves and how they dictate how we walk into a room. Think about this. You got two people sliding doors. One person's about to go to the room thinking, man, who am I to walk in this boardroom to give this presentation? Who am I to talk to this, these target audience and all that stuff? I'm not really, I'm this is kind of out of my league. I don't know what I'm doing. And you just start kind of shutting down versus the other person who's thinking, you know what, I may not be ready, but they invited me here. I I've done these presentations before. I've had these meetings many times. Hey, I don't feel comfortable, but that's where growth happens. What is the two, what is the energy of those two people walking in that same room? Very different. And you know what? You could pick up on that because 55% of our body of our communication is done through body language. So just think about that. So, number one, stop with a negative self-talk. Stop, start talking to yourself positively. How you talk to your kid, how you talk to your teammate, how you talk to your best friend. All right. So catch the voice. Whenever the voice starts kind of chiming in your ear, saying, hey, man, you're not the right role, man. You ain't good enough for this. You shouldn't be where you're at. It's all luck, man. You got lucky the last two decades of your career to be where you're at. Stop the voice. Catch the voice and find out what it's actually saying. Okay. The second thing is start pulling the evidence. Start pulling the evidence to go to court, right? Well, who am I? I'm not ready for this. Well, wait a minute. I've spent the last 10 years doing this project. Or I've led 15 of these presentations before. I've I've done this pitch 50 times before. I know what I'm doing, right? So start off with the evidence, the empirical evidence that you have on why you're the right person for the role. Whether you believe it or not, jot it down. All right. And the third thing I ask you to do is reframe the moment. Don't think of yourself as an imposter, right? Think of someone of yourself as someone that's in a growth moment, your leadership growth moment. That is when we grow in our confidence. We continue to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations and just and navigate that. It's not avoiding uncomfortable situations. That's not where confidence is gained from. So again, name that voice. What is that voice telling you? What is it really telling you? All right. The second thing is cut that voice off. Cut that voice off. Start gathering evidence to fight that voice in court. And the third thing is reframe it. I'm not an imposter. I just may feel a bit nervous, but that's okay because it's uncomfortable. But this is where I'm going to go in and shine. Again, talk positively to yourself. All right. Um yeah, so I mean, I can think about this. Like, you know, one of my buddies, you know, he uh he got promoted to uh to uh you know VP of a company. He went from manager to VP of a company. And he's thinking, I mean, I was I remember talking to him, he's like, man, I don't know what I'm doing. Like, man, I'm managing cats that have like 10 more years than I do. I'm, you know, managing teams that like, you know, that, you know, that are from a different company and all that stuff. Like, you know, it was after an acquisition. And I was kind of sitting there talking to him. I said, and he's thinking, like, I'm not ready for this role. Like, who am I? Like, I'm not, I'm only, I've just been promoted to this, but I have people, you know, decades of you know, experience below me. You know, who am I for this role? And it was so awesome because we started kind of talking and we started listing the things that they did in their past. You know, what have you, dude? You're here for this. You've done this, dude. You remember doing this, you remember doing that. And then really showcasing, like, listen, what you're experiencing, eight out of 10 people are experiencing it. So I think you're probably feeling the right thing if you're feeling that. All right. So here's your application. The next time that imposter voice comes up in your mind, write down three pieces of evidence to combat that, the what the voice is saying. You're not ready, uh, you don't have enough experience, no one's gonna like you, this and that. Start jot jotting down three pieces of evidence to actually fight that, all right? Stop saying I got lucky about your wins, right? Start saying, I earned this result, right? I earned this title, I earned this promotion, I earn this. And then ask yourself, what would you tell a peer? What would you tell a best friend? What would you tell your child if they actually said the same things that your boy that your imposter syndrome was saying in your mind? All right. Do that because I want to tell you something. If you do have the imposter syndrome, don't worry about it. I experience it nonstop. You're in the right path. Keep pushing yourself, keep putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation and rising to the top. All right. I love it. You're not an imposter, you're just growing faster than your confidence can keep up. Keep getting the uncomfortable zone. So thank you all for tuning in. If you're enjoying this, uh, you know, like, share, comment, all that fun stuff, and uh, we'll see you in the next one. That's all I got for today. I'm figuring this out right alongside you. I appreciate you listening. And men, come join us at Exec Crew if this is resonating. Link in the description, and we'll see you tomorrow.