Getting Out of Your Own Way

Most people wait for the right timing before they take action. However, if you're always waiting for the right time for your life to be perfect before you take action, you're going to get left behind in this episode. I'm diving into how to get out of your own way to lean into uncomfortable situations so you can gain your confidence

Transcript

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Welcome to Lee with Confidence. I'm JP Warren. Every episode we take a theme from our Monday morning leadership call and apply it to real life scenarios. So you can build your confidence, crush your imposter syndrome, and step into the leader you actually want to be. Short, real, straight to the point. Let's get into it. Welcome back to Lead with Confidence with your host, JP Warren. Now, I originally had something that I kind of wanted to put a bow on on this the past previous uh episodes we've had, where we're covering over small talk, networking, following up. However, there's something that's actually kind of risen to the surface over the past kind of two, three weeks that I've kind of had very similar conversations with a lot of people. And I just think it's something that I feel compelled to bring up uh today. And it's all about getting out of your own way. For those of you that are joining us that have, you know, heard a couple episodes before, welcome back. We love having you here. And if you are new discovering this, what this is, these are just short 10 minutes of frameworks for you to help your uh soft skills developments to help you in your personal and professional career, because soft skills are 85% of our career success. And if you have, if you are a returning uh person who have who has listened to this podcast, I know you're gonna get tired of that statistic, but I just find it very fascinating. Okay. One of the things that keeps popping up, actually, I'm gonna say this too. In the meantime, if you have 15 seconds, go over, leave a review. I love the reviews, I love seeing where people are listening from. It just encourages me, inspires me to keep this going. And again, I'm not an expert at soft skills. This, these are skill sets that need to be studied, learned, practiced, and mastered, just like any skill in life. So I often have a lot of fillow words, but again, I am learning this just like we're all learning out there. We can always do better, we can always improve. All right. And that's what we're talking about today is getting out of your own way. So the reason why this kind of came up is, you know, I was working with a student, right? And she said, you know, uh, once, you know, once this is in line, then I'll start uh building out my LinkedIn uh network, you know. You know, I see professionals. Oh, once I have, you know, this in line, my ducks are in a row, then I'm gonna start doing this. On a personal side, you know, talking about jujitsu, you know, I'm you know, talking about my buddies about jujitsu, it's like, oh, that sounds so fun. But once I'm in shape, then I'm gonna step on the mat and start doing jujitsu. There's always, so what is that? So you're hearing this, you're hearing a common theme right now. It's always once X is in place, then I can take action, right? Once I have my ducks in a row, then I can start moving forward. But the thing is though, when it comes to skill sets, whether it's, I mean, I often equate this like if you're if you have an opportunity to play boss, play boss, play golf with your boss, right? You're gonna practice. You're gonna probably take some lessons, you're gonna buy some clubs, you're gonna start working on your swing, right? You're gonna practice your swing. However, once it comes to like our soft skills, like the networking side of space or like the presentation skill sets we need, we often wait for that moment and then we're like, you know what? I have my presentation, that's my safety blanket. I'm just gonna go in there and do it, right? But it's a skill set. We have to practice our skill set. So, how do we actually get out of our own way and stop making excuses? And whether we subconsciously make excuses or we say, once this is in line, then I'll do this, which is a common excuse that I hear anyone from executives to sales teams to students. I wanted to help you get out of your own way today and not wait for your ducks to be in a row. Because at the end of the day, your ducks are never gonna be in a row. Okay, it's never the perfect time, right? People are like, oh, once I have my house or my job or this promotion, then I'm gonna start, then I'll have a kid. Or once, you know, this happens, then I'm gonna take action. Let's stop that, right? Let's start taking action today so you can actually start leveling up your life today, right? Just like a network, right? Just like your network uh for your professional career. You don't wait till you need a network, right? It's like a garden. You don't wait till you're famished, starving, and just just like starving for nutrients to plant a garden. You do that when you have the time, energy, and effort. And you listening to these podcasts, you actually started your journey. So let's buckle up and actually do more than just listen. Let's some take some action, okay? So skill sets, studied, learned, practiced, and mastered. As someone who teaches soft skills, I am constantly learning my presentation skills, my public speaking skills, my ability to do podcasts, right? Every time I listen back on this, I cringe because I hear myself say, use filler words. And I say, okay, does that make sense? Or, all right, or as I said before, so I use filler words. So I can still work on my skill sets, but that's why I'm doing this. I'm putting myself out there. I'm getting uncomfortable and I'm being okay with the result. Okay, because it's only going to get better. If I look back on the podcasts I did five years ago, they were vastly different than my approach and confidence and what I'm communicating right now. Even before I filmed this, I said, JP, I did a couple takes of this and I said, Oh my gosh, I'm speaking too fast. I get nervous. My heart starts racing. Slow it down. So again, we can all, I just did it right there. These are skill sets we can learn, practice, and master. So how do we actually get out of our way? How do we move forward? How do we actually take action? Let's dive in that today. So the first thing that we have to do is let's figure out the why. So if you have a goal, a task, an action that you want to do, like let's say it's take a course, or let's say it's uh sign up for a team, an inter-mural team, or or jujitsu or whatever it is, right? You understand your why, right? A lot of times people think that, well, I'm gonna get an MBA. Well, why are you getting an MBA, right? Like, I mean, a lot of people in professional careers, they feel stalled out and they're they're thinking that's the natural step to get an MBA because they think they want this. So, number one, figure out your why. Why do you want to take this action? Why do you want to step on the mat in jiu-jitsu? Why do you want to actually want to take this course and devote time, energy, and effort away from your family to improve yourself? Understand your why and make that why relevant to you, right? Not for other people, because that's gonna diminish, that's gonna stop our motivation. Make the why personal, all right? Why are you doing this? What's the five-year future you gonna say to yourself today? That's kind of a good understanding, right? So, number one, understand your why why. What are the right reasons for this? Okay. The second thing I ask you to do is commit to something, right? Again, I'm gonna use jujitsu because I just got back into it after four months being off, but commit to it. A lot of times, like, for example, like if it's a jiu-jitsu or if it's a presentation thing, we hate being uncomfortable. We hate stepping up to the plate for the first time, right? We get very uncomfortable and we walk away and our nerves are shattered. We got the adrenaline dump, and we're just like, I don't want to do that again. That was too uncomfortable. But what happens if you step back up to the plate and do the same thing? It's gonna be a lot more easy, a lot more confident walking up. So one example is I did a jujitsu competition as a white belt, and um, my first competition, I was very in my head, and I f had the feeling of my heart was pounding, my heart was racing, I had a short shortness of breath, and I was so nervous, and I had something that's called an adrenaline dump, right? And that was miserable. I hated it. I hated competing, okay? However, I actually signed up for the next competition. Why did I do that? Because number one, I hated it. I was uncomfortable. And I know that the only way to be better at anything in life, and this wasn't just juju jujitsu, but anything, is like show up anyway, right? Show up anyway, even though the nerves are there. So when I got there, I actually started practicing what I preached. So I started actually watching my breath, I worked on my breath work and my mindset more than I worked on my jujitsu uh skills. So before stepping on the mat, I practiced the box breathing technique. I practiced visual visualization, not winning. I practiced visualization of feeling good that I actually stepped on the mat regardless of the result. Okay. And actually, when I stepped on the mat the second time for my second competition, I was much more calm. It was a weird, it was a weird kind of like polar opposites, my my second competition versus my first competition. I was calm. And then when I felt myself kind of start getting amped up, my, you know, the adrenaline start going up, I again practice, I slow down a little bit. Okay. So you have to commit to being uncomfortable. So whether it's a workout routine, whether it's the couch to 5K, whether it's presentation skills, whether it's leading a team meeting and you just hate the first experience, commit to showing up. Commit to leaning in that uncomfortable feeling because that's what builds confidence. Okay. It's not the confidence is not knowing uh how to execute everything properly. It's being okay and showing up and just kind of being okay with the result. Okay. The third thing is maybe change the third, not maybe, the third thing is change the stories that we're telling ourselves, right? So for example, again, I'm bringing up jujitsu because it's the easiest parallel with this. Because number one, it's not me, right? I've never been in a fight before. Uh physical altercations is not really my thing, right? Uh I'm a germaphobe, you know, having guys sweat on me and touching people's feet, that's just that's not me, right? However, once not however, when I stopped telling myself that wasn't me, or I'm not this person, I'm not that guy, like, oh, you shouldn't be there, right? That's that, that's that, that's that subconscious voice telling her telling ourselves the same stories. That's actually not true. Once I stopped telling myself the story that that wasn't me and said, man, maybe it is me. Maybe I do enjoy this, maybe I do enjoy this new challenge or this new one, new uh new hobby that I have, right? So again, changing the stories that we have saying that, hey, it's not me to maybe it is me, right? Maybe I will enjoy this, okay? The fourth thing you can do at the end of the day, analysis, paralysis will stop you in your tracks. Just do it. Take action and sign up for that first class. Take action and sign up for that course. Take action and invest in uh that training that you want to. So it is taking action. You'll figure out your schedule later, you'll figure out all that stuff later, but you have to take action today. If not, it's gonna be, oh, I'll take action once this stuff uh, you know, once I get everything in line with the my job or once I get my ducks in a row over here, then I'll take action, right? Just take action. Show up. Even if you don't want to, even if it's busy, even if it's a long day, show up anyway. Okay. And the fifth thing that I think is often missed is congratulate yourself. You just stepped on the mat. You just took that course, you just sat through an hour of a training that you it isn't really required for your role, but you want to better yourselves. So congratulate yourself. Celebrate your success, okay? Again, here's how we're gonna walk through, here's how we're gonna get out of our own way, here's how we're gonna get out of our rut. Number one, understand your why. Why are you doing this? Make it personal, okay? Number two, commit to something. All right, just commit to it. You're gonna do it. You're not gonna wait for the right time, but you're just gonna do it. Number three, take action. Number four, understand that the stories that we tell ourselves, though, maybe this isn't me or oh, I'm not this person. Change the stories we're telling ourselves. And the and the final thing is celebrate your own success. So thank you for tuning out there. Uh tuning out there. Thank you for tuning in from out there on uh Lead with Confidence. I hope you enjoy this again. Uh, kind of went with a different route on this uh this episode just because I felt very compelled to do this. And if again, if you are enjoying this, let me know. Uh, share it with others, and uh please leave a review. I love seeing that stuff. And we'll see you next time on Lead with Confidence. That's your framework for the day. Go lead with it. I'm JP Warren, lead with confidence.