The Three Types of People at Every Networking Event (And Which One You Are)

Walk into any networking event and you'll see the same three types of people — the wall-hugger, the friend-bubble, and the one actually working the room. Most people don't even realize which one they are. JP breaks down all three, why two of them are a waste of your time, and the exact game plan for being the third — without feeling fake or forced.

Transcript

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Welcome to Lee with Confidence. I'm JP Warren. Every episode we take a theme from our Monday morning leadership call and apply it to real life scenarios. So you can build your confidence, crush your imposter syndrome, and step into the leader you actually want to be. Short, real, straight to the point. Let's get into it. Your host, JP Warren. If you are just tuning in, we're giving you 10 minutes or less of daily soft skills frameworks to only help you show up, lead, connect, and influence better. Why? Because soft skills are 85% of our career success. And today we're talking about the three types of people in networking events and which one are you? And if I'm giving you this in 10 minutes, I'll ask for in fifty for 15 seconds of your time to go over, leave a like, leave a review, share this with others because I love seeing where people download this. I love seeing this impact and help people around uh around you, the listeners and the audience. It's just, I think we need more communication skills in this hyper-connected yet disconnected world. So that's what we're talking about today. Today, we're diving into the three types of network attendees and which one are you? And honestly, how to exit a conversation you kind of feel stuck in. So that's gonna be towards the end. So stick with me. It'll be 10 minutes or less, and this is all for you. All right. So the reality is the reality is this there's three people that walk in the con the networking events, right? Most people dread networking events. Why? It's a room full of strangers and you have to feel like you have to walk in and collect business cards. And how do you follow up with this person? And oftentimes those business cards stay on your desk and just collecting dusk, right? So how do we actually get in there? And who are you whenever you walk into a networking event? Okay. And if we're not being intentional and if we're not moving into the last bubble, we're often leaving a lot of missed opportunities on the table. So before we're, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna sugarcoat this, I'm gonna talk about the three types of people that walk in network events. And this is something I teach students. This is also some something that I teach um executives and founders of companies that also don't like networking events because who does? Who likes going to a room full of strangers when you're only one, right? So here's what I'm seeing, right? So the first person, uh the first group or type of person that walks in into the room is literally the wall hugger, right? They know they have to go to this networking event. They know there's gonna be a free lunch or a speaker and all that stuff. And what do they do? They go there, they either stick sit on the sidelines, they you know, wait on the outside the exit side of things, get on their phone until the event starts, and they go in, they grab their seat and they kind of have that surface talk with people around the table, right? Those are the wall huggers, right? They're comfortable going uh to the networking events, they'll get that check mark box that they actually attended the events, but there's nothing really substantial out of it. And what's the point of going to a network event without meeting some new friends along the way, right? Now, I often say this to students. Listen, if you don't like going to network events, if you're nervous about networking events, you don't want to go solo and kind of, you know, you might be an introvert and kind of hug that wall, be that wall hugger. What you can do, grab your buddy, get your accountability buddy, grab a friend or two, and then go to a networking event together. But here's often what happens you're comfortable with that friend group, right? So you're gonna stay talking to them and really not get outside of your bubble to talk to other people, to connect with other people, right? It's a lot more safer, it's a lot more easier to do something like that. But hey, this is something always preaching confidence. You don't get confident by staying inside your comfort zone. You're not confident by staying inside your bubbles and not really kind of expanding your network, right? So often say challenge yourself, get uncomfortable, get out there and network, right? So this is the actual category I'm encouraging you to challenge yourself to actually strive to get into, to fall into. These are the intentional connectors. These are the people that whether they go with friends or they go solo, whether you're going solo, you're actually going there and actually getting uncomfortable, right? You're learning how to actually walk up to groups that already may be talking and introduce yourself and be part of that conversation. These are the people that are actually trying to go around and collect, not collect business cards in a substantial manner, not just like I'm gonna get business cards and see how many I can get, but you can actually die, the ones that actually diving in the conversations to actually learn about people to get those um beyond, you know, this the beyond the transactional level conversations to follow up with, right? Either you're going solo and you're doing this, or often if you go as a group or friends or people in your work and organization, challenge yourselves, make a game of it, okay? Hey, listen, by the end of it, let's see how many business cards we can get, or let's see the most interesting conversation uh that we can get, or let's try to tie it back like the seven degrees, the six degrees of uh bacon, right? Who's worked at the you know Halliburton before, or who's worked at Schlumberger or something like that, right? So as an internal connector, you're actually actively going out there to connect with others. And here's the deal: it may feel uncomfortable, right? It may feel how do I approach a group that's already talking, that already looks established, and actually break in and start talking to them. Here's what I want you to understand. It's a networking event. People are expect to get interrupted, people expect to meet new people. So really have fun with it. Introduce yourself and have to remember, we talked about this previous episode. Have two or three questions ready to go. And again, this is not your brochure, it's not your elevator pitch. Have two or three unique questions that you can lean in on and talk to people about, right? Ask chime in, ask the question, just have the conversation flow. So don't be the wall hugger, right? There's no point with you going to a networking event uh if you're the wall hugger because you're not gonna meet any people. Or if you're in your friend bubble, you know, your comfort circle, right? You're gonna be talking to them. You're not gonna be going out there and meeting new people. So put yourself in that third category. Get uncomfortable. The more times that you open up these kind of conversations, the more time you walk into these groups that are already talking and you introduce yourself, the more confident you're gonna be. And I often say this it's this is kind of overlooked. It's so obvious. And oftentimes, soft skills is uh uh is very uh common sense. But smile, have your facial features happy, smile because people connect with that a lot more. People are drawn into that energy and vibes a lot more. Okay. Now here's the deal. Sometimes I've been in this situation before. You kind of get caught up in a conversation. Next thing you know, that's all you're talking to for the next 20, 30 minutes, and you see people that you really want to connect with, but you can't because you're kind of stuck in this conversation. It is okay to dismiss and excuse yourself from a conversation. Say, hey, listen, uh JP is really great talking to you. Uh, really do appreciate this. But there's actually someone that just walked in. I'm really trying to get in touch with and uh connect with. Let's continue this conversation later. Thanks for the thanks for the talk. And also, and we'll, you know, we'll we'll stay in touch, right? So have a way to exit a conversation. And it's perfectly okay to say, it was great talking with you, but I'm actually trying to go out and connect with uh this other person that just walked in, or I'm trying to expand my network, and I love to continue uh expanding my network with you and others in this room. So it is okay to end a conversation that is dragging on, okay? I encourage you to do that. So the next time you go to a networking event, the next time you feel compelled and invited, or you have to go to a networking event, don't sit against the wall. Don't sit in your friendship, uh, your friend circle bubble, your comfort zone. Get out there, start intentionally connecting with people around the room. I guarantee you you're gonna walk away with more business cards, but it's gonna be so much more fruitful for you. And oftentimes you go to networking events, like, well, that's not my target customer, or that's not the target audience I'm gonna try to talk to. I gotta say this: who cares? Don't go after your target customers because a lot of times, who else is? Every single one of your competitions trying to go around them. Start building your networks with people that are external to your target audience. That way they might have a good shoe-in for you to meet the person you're trying to talk to. So build your network with a lot of different people, a lot of different um, and we're gonna go over on like who you should be building your network with in a future episode. But again, start building it because you never know what one introduction, what one conversation, what one um introduction or you know, conversation at a networking event, where it can bring you, all right, or what potential it can go. You might be able to help them, they may be able to help you, they might be able to help you, whether it's not today, whether it's not this month, but who knows where that can grow into. So that's what we have for you today. Thank you for tuning in for uh Lead with uh Confidence. I'm your host, JP Warren, and we'll see you at the next uh episode that drops tomorrow. That's your framework for the day. Go lead with it. I'm JP Warren, lead with confidence.