Ready in Five
By Korinna Howie & Kate Lonsdale.
Ready in Five
Episode 4 | Mediums, Madonna Squats & Cheating on my Oura Ring: Real Talk with Korinna & Kate
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Welcome to episode five! Kate and Korinna are back and this week things get mystical, a little bit painful and very relatable.
Korinna is sporting a neck brace this week, and yes, Madonna is responsible. She attempted the viral squat challenge and her body had thoughts about that.
Kate visited a medium with her two daughters and we want to know everything. What came through, what surprised them and did it spook them or move them?
Then we get into Oura rings. Korinna’s is telling her she has a sleep deficit of over twenty hours and she's been taking it off to cheat behind its back.
And Kate tells us what she would do if she was filthy rich! No spoilers, but we are very much here for it.
Real talk, no filter. Another week, another adventure.
Find us on Instagram:
@readyinfivepodcast
Kate: @thesilverkat
Korinna: @isthisyoungforme
Hello, I'm Kate Lonsdao and Ready in Five. Hello, I'm Karina, and we are never ready in five.
SPEAKER_01How are you, Kate? How are you? I'm fine. I am fine. You've had a very busy week this week.
SPEAKER_00Oh, such a busy week. I feel like I live on the train. I feel like I should be sponsored by Grady or Angelior or something. I just live on the train and the train stations. But yeah, busy week. Um, and I've got a sort of whiplash neck brace on that I wasn't given to you by a professional, by the way. I bought it on Amazon, but we'll talk about that in the minute because Kate, you've been to a medium this week, and I need to hear. I need you spill all the tea about going to see a medium because I went to see one years ago that was shit. So tell us about it.
SPEAKER_01I was gonna say, I was gonna ask you if you do you believe, first of all, and have you been before? Been before, don't know if I believe.
SPEAKER_00What happened? Tell us, tell us all about it.
SPEAKER_01Right. Um, well, I don't know if you've heard of him, but it's he's called really original name, David the Medium, and he is on TikTok. Oh, okay. Yeah, so I've I've watched him quite a few times on TikTok, was on the train one day coming back, um, and all of a sudden it came up that he's Australian, massive in Australia, I think, does a lot of celebrities and everything. And he was coming over here for the first time. And I thought, do you know what? I'm gonna give it a go. I'm gonna, I'm gonna book. So I booked for me and my girls to go. Went down like shit show when I told them, you know, both of them were like, my god, what are you dragging me to?
SPEAKER_00So totally TikTok influenced. Like normal people just buy like a moisturizer or a kitchen cleaner. You actually bought tickets to see a medium.
SPEAKER_01I am influenced about everything, I am an influencer's dream. Add to car, add to medium tickets. Yeah, I'm all over everything, yeah. So we we bought I bought these tickets in London. Now, I don't know. I have two two daughters, one's not like me at all and is very organized. The other one is a complete and utter, like, lives like I do, and nothing's planned. You know, I don't know about you, but I get on the train. I know I know actually you're similar to me. Get on the train, then look at where I'm going, then look at everything. If I'm with somebody else that will take control of the situation or the day, they can have it. I do not I do not want to be one of those people that has to be in charge. I am quite happy, seven people behind, lagging behind, being the one that drags their feet and just being told where to go and what to do. So we're all from different areas now. So I think Georgie was coming in from um coming into St. Pancreas, I was coming into Marleybone because of train strikes and other things, and Beth was coming into King's Cross. So we were all meeting up in London and then going. So I'll quickly tell you about my my my beginning. We all got on the train. Beth texts us to say, um, my oh my god, you you would never believe it. I got out of the car to walk away. Her boyfriend dropped her off at the train station, and as I walked away, I heard the car beep as if to say the keys aren't in the car anymore. She said, I ran off, got onto the train. No, he rang up and said, Don't get onto the train, you've got the car keys. He had stopped halfway down the train station road, in the middle of the road, the car had stopped, the crook, the the wheel locker locked, yeah, he was stuck there. No house keys, no car keys. She was on her way down to London. So me and Georgie had all of this on all different trains on the way down there. She ended up having to get off at another train station, which was miles away, get an Uber back to where she lives, then get on the next train and get down there. I missed three trains because I couldn't get on them, because I think it was Arsenal or uh Chelsea big parade in London that day. So by the time we all got there, we were all stressed, we were all late, and we got to medium, and Beth was like, we all the three of us have got quite a sick sense of humour, and Beth is like, you know, somebody better come through because this has been a nightmare. And if I'm sitting there and nobody comes through, then I'm never going to win again. So we we went, sat there. There was a couple of really uh Beth got the giggles halfway throughout to really kick her because I thought she could not control herself. Um, but yeah, it was interesting. She he went to a certain amount of people, and you never quite know if they've been put in the audience, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Planted. I know, I know, I'm so cynical, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and they and you know, they were in tears, and what he said was just you know, it seemed to resonate with them. And and I think the problem is, is in some respects, people want so much to believe.
SPEAKER_00I know. And did he say specific things or vague things?
SPEAKER_01Did he say, like, you've lost someone dear to you in the last four years, which we all have, or did he say very, yeah, this was very, I mean, this one particular person, their son had died of HIV, but it was about 10 years ago, and nobody in the family knew that it was HIV, they'd always said it was cancer because of the stigma, because of her religion, that they couldn't tell people. And he had apparently come forward and said he didn't blame everybody for that. She'd held that she'd blamed herself for not telling people what it was. And he sort of came and said he didn't blame her for not telling the family what it was. And that was her son that came through to tell her that. Yeah, yeah. Whoa. So there was that, and then there was another one where the daughter had actually died of an overdose, um, and it had split the family. The aunts were there, but the mother wasn't, and the aunts weren't talking to the mother anymore over it all. And she apparently came through and said, you know, not to blame her mum, and her mum will eventually come back and speak to the family, and you know, and that was very, you know, it's comforting, I imagine, yeah.
SPEAKER_00For people to hear something like that.
SPEAKER_01I mean, there was one bit where he came to over to our area and he said, um I knew you were going to miss the train or whatever.
SPEAKER_00You should say, I'm not being funny, Dave, but why couldn't you give us a bit of advanced about the key for Yasko?
SPEAKER_01And he said, you know, there's somebody in this area, which is where we were, whose dad has had a heart attack. Oh, really? And they said, Yeah, and my my dad, I died, I was 26 when my dad died, he was 55. And they said, Um, and you've been to an event recently or done something, I can't remember how he worded it, that you weren't happy with. And Beth is like, that's you, that's you. You went to uh I went to Betterfits, done the event, wasn't very happy about it. We talked about it actually over lunch. And I was like, And she goes, It is, it is, you know, your dad. And then he said, and you suffer with reflux. Now, when I was younger, and I still sometimes do it, um, I suffer with a lot of reflux when I get really nervous, and I used to just stick fingers down my throat. I was never sick, but I could make myself without it, and I'd done it an awful lot when I was younger. And Beth said to me, Oh my god, reflux. That that's it. But the woman next to us put her hand up and said, her dad died of a heart attack. And the woman that was next to her, who she came with, suffered from reflux, so they'd put that together, and they asked her if she'd been to an event recently and done anything, and she said no, not recently, but she found something in her past that she'd done, and he was like, Right, I need something a bit more, you know, I need something a bit more. I this doesn't seem quite right. Yeah, it wasn't feeling right. Yeah, give me something a bit more, give me something a bit more. And then he said, he said something about somebody in the family that died that we didn't that you didn't know what they died of or whatever. There was somebody in our family, but it was years ago, and I hadn't thought about it at the time. And then he said, I'm not quite sure. Asked her a few more questions, it didn't seem to align, and then she he moved on to somebody else. And Beth was like, You missed your human that you you didn't put your hand up, but that was you. I don't know. Do you know what I mean? I I'm I'm not sure. It could have been so what about you? When when when you went, how old were you?
SPEAKER_00Talking about mediums though, well, first of all, I it was a long time ago, and I wasn't married or with anybody, and they said to me, specifically me, that I would go, and it was a one-on-one paid session with one of the best mediums in the county or something, and they told me that I would go to the Grand Canyon with my three children, la la. That was so very specific, and it never happened. So uh, that's my experience of it. And my other other experience is watching Phoenix Night. So, did you used to watch Phoenix Night's Peter K?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I said that he did a mix. I sent that to the girls and said, Do you think it's gonna be like this? What was his name? He was name was the the character. Don't know. I don't know. I sent that to the girls because I was just like, Oh my god, this is this is what it was gonna be like. Oh god, I can't remember what it is.
SPEAKER_00You know, you talked, do you know you mentioned HIV? Yeah. I think it was about two years ago, maybe I've read this stat, that there's more HIT for the first time, there's more HIV positive people in the UK that are straight as opposed to homosexual. So you know that that person that you talked about, I'm presuming that was their religion that they weren't allowed to be homosexual. So it was assumed that because they have HIV that they're gay. Yeah. And and that I think it was the figures that were released by the Terence Higgins Trust maybe two years ago, the first time that straight people, heterosexual sexual people are have more HIV. And do you know in mature people? Because there's a lot of people, mature people who can't have children anymore because they've been through the menopause that are having unprotected sex.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we we should do a podcast about this, but my daughter worked in a um old people's home for a short period of time, and the sexual diseases in the old people home was massive.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because then you've got um you've got that um lack of social understanding that comes in, and dementia and things like that perhaps too.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I yeah, and I think I think it was okay. I think it was uh they just think like I'm old, I'm just gonna do what I want. I think so. And she said Viagra had a massive um, you know, uh use in there. Yeah, yeah, for for men. And yeah, it was funny because she said that HR have a nightmare in there. It's those ones that are not like, you know, like the living ones where you oh right, not like a care home.
SPEAKER_00So you're talking like yeah, actually, that you know, we qualify for those now. I think you're over 55. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so it's not those, it's the ones that you live in. But they had they had they did have a care home bit as well. But she said to me, it really opened my eyes. She said, I just could not believe. And she said, and what they had, they had people, she could kill me for this. They had people come in and say, Oh, I think that my husband is seeing someone within the complex, and but and they would know that he was because oh, and they can't spill the beat, yeah, it's confidential.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. So that well, because it's like a small community, yeah, living in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it would be very complex to manage all the people in a small community, a bit like that, a bit like the book, the bit and the movie The Beach, Leo DiCaprio. Do you remember that? You have a small community, never watched it, yeah. Never watched that. Never watched that.
SPEAKER_01No, no, I've never watched that. I was just thinking of what I've just trying to find what that medium was called. Um, was he called what did you say Gary or David? David was who yeah, I saw. I was just thinking that one on Phoenix Knight. Oh, the Phoenix Knights one. Yeah, I can't think of what his name is. I can't remember. I mean, that was that is just so funny, isn't it? And he goes, I remember the sketch where he goes, um, he goes over to someone, he goes, You want to tell your wife something, don't you? He goes, No, I don't. And he goes, No, no, I think you do. And he goes, No, you don't. He goes, Oh well. Like just walks off. I think I've heard that he actually does a certain stage show that you can actually go and see. What the comedy. Yeah, the character, yeah. He does like a like a spoof type of medium that you can go and see, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, mediums would be absolutely funny. I'd go and see one. Actually, no, sometimes I think um they're a bit frightening in case they tell you something you don't want to know or something. But I'm I'm up for things like that, really. Yeah, totally, totally up for anything like that. Do you want to hear about my neck? Do you want to hear about my neck brace? Yeah, come on. I'm wearing a neck brace if you're listening. I'm wearing a neck brace that I bought from Amazon, it's not a medical one, and it's and actually, so I have this neck brace because you can relate to this, and actually, I reckon loads of people listening to come relate having text neck, but we have text neck because we'll we work on our phones, don't we, Kate? Yeah, too many hours leaning over the phone. So I have a text neck thing, and I bought this years ago, um, and it's really great. I travel in it, sometimes I fly in it and sleep, and it's just brilliant. When my neck gets really clicky and sore and tense, I whack it on and it supports me. And if I've got a deadline, because I remember going to see a chiropractor and they said you've got to get off your phone. I said, I can't get off my phone, it's my job. Yeah, you're only allowed on your phone for two hours a day, she says about four years ago. And I said, That's never going to happen. And I got this brace, not advised by her, if you have neck injuries, don't listen to me, see a professional. Anyway, and I had a flare-up last weekend because I was thinking, How have I hurt my neck? Because I hadn't been to body pump, which, if I'm not careful, that can do it, or lugging the cat bags around on the train. And I know how I did it, and I did it. Have you seen this thing that's going viral? It's the Madonna 15 squats challenge. Yeah, have you seen that? Yeah, see that right. Well, I now think I reckon that's how I did it because it was a lot about a week or so ago. I saw this challenge and thought, I'll have a go at that because I'll never be able to do 15. But I just thought I'll video and see how many I can do. Because it would be funny if I could do two or three, just really to say how awesome Madonna was, because she was 43 and it was at the end of the show. She did all of those squats. And have you seen them where she she's not just doing a regular squat, she's dropping down and then she jumps up. It's like a dance move.
SPEAKER_01Oh, right.
SPEAKER_00And I so now oh, don't know. She just opened Pride in New York, didn't she?
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes, she did.
SPEAKER_00And she looks incredible. And I find I'm really annoyed about social media actually because or the social media that goes viral, it's just the poor angles of her. Yeah. Or the parts where she looks like she's not moving very well because you see other people's footage and she is moving well. But I look at her and I I think she doesn't seem as mobile and agile as you think she would perhaps be for a person of her age to be so fit as she is was. But maybe she's got injuries, maybe she's got stuff going on. Who knows? Who cares? It's just the fact that she she still shows up because if you look at her compared to other people of the same, like Mick Jagger, he just seems to be that this ball of energy with who's very agile. And I do think that sometimes Madge, I'm a huge fan, she can do no wrong. She does look quite slow in her movements and does look like um she's got tons of injuries. I bet she's carrying loads of injuries, but people just seem to pile in to her. Yeah, and just and I think she does get bad press. She gets such bad press. I think I just no, she can do no. I love how the gays just come and stand up for her, leave armadonna, and I absolutely love it. Anyway, so she opened Pride. I thought I just love her so much. Anyway, I thought I'd try the squat challenge and I didn't even record it. I thought I'd just try, you know, when you look at it and think, what is she doing? Because she jumps up and kind of she does throw her shoulders and arms and her head, and I think I wasn't recording it, I was just having a pre-thing think, shall I? How do you even do this? And then I'll have a go. And I think that's how I did it. And you know, if anybody wants to know, I did two very bad ones. That was it. Like really bad. Couldn't get lower, couldn't get anywhere near as low as she could, and couldn't jump up as she did, which is incredible. And she did 15 of them in time for the music at the end of the show, and she's wearing a t-shirt that says mother in sequins, and I think that's when she just had her big boy, which might be Rocco, maybe. So she had a two-year-old or something at the time as well. Anyway, so I think that's how it hurt my neck, and it's not getting better because I'm ignoring it. So I thought if I strap my very sexy neck brace on this weekend, I'm wearing it in the house all weekend, it might just give it some love. It's not to me.
SPEAKER_01And and the problem is you sit like I've got my phone here, like I sit like that and I go like that, and then you forget that you've been there for 45 minutes, maybe, and then all of a sudden I go like that to look up at somebody and I think, oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we all do it. We do it, we sit mindfully. You think I'll sit up straight, I'll roll my shoulders, drop my shoulders down, hold my phone up, and as you say, you get engrossed in something, yeah, and then 45 minutes later you've shrunk, or you've you've your shoulders have rolled over. But you and I the same. I can be editing something for an hour. I don't move for an hour, or more, or more. I can be looking at my phone for two or three hours. So anyway, so that's why I've got a little bit of a neck brace on. And and lugging.
SPEAKER_01You've been gardening as well, haven't you? Well, I that's what I've thought a lot of gardening life.
SPEAKER_00I thought, did I do it gardening? Did I do it carrying all my bags around up and down the tubes in London? Um, I I don't know how I've done it, but I really think I've done a sort of neck thinking about it, done a neck flick trying to do this other thing. But also my Ura ring, I went to London to an Ura ring event. If anybody doesn't know what an Ura ring, it's O-U-R-A. And you wear it on a finger, and it's a lifestyle tool or something that assesses your health, your vitals, your heart rate, your stress levels, how you sleep, how you're functioning. It's like a health um reader. They're about 400, 500 pounds.
SPEAKER_01Both of my girls have got one. I feel keep talking to them about if I should have one. I mean, I've got an Apple Watch, but they both love theirs.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I I sort of, well, it's really interesting. So I got this. I asked Scott to get this for me for Christmas, my birthday, sorry, because I have to work on my lifestyle. I don't sleep, I put everything else before me. My mind, um, I mean, you and I say we're disorganized, but we're not. We're there's I I'm there's such a lot going on. We do have to be organized, but also I live in a situation which many people, many women can relate to when you're particularly when you're a working parent or you've got a lot on, everything has to be so organized because when you have no extra time, you need to know where everything is. When I've got a train to catch up, I need to know where the charger is, where the light is, whether this is, whether that is. What am I wearing today? What am I wearing tonight? What am I wearing tomorrow? What am I wearing the next day? Pack all that back. And I it's impossible not to carry all of these bags and stuff. Anyway, I know, and we work seven days of the week, and I know it's not like work, work, but still it is your brain is fizzy all the time, isn't it on your social media? Yeah, so you have to mindfully take time out. And I know I don't sleep. And uh, so I asked Scott to get me this for my birthday, and and I think it's great. I think if you love analytics, if you love to break down your lifestyle, you can really get into it. You can take a photograph of everything you eat. So you can literally take a photograph of um a pret sandwich, and it will it knows what that is and it'll whack it into your lifestyle. So at the end of the day, it can tell you about your your calories burned, your probably your BMI, everything. It's as it's as good as you as your user makes it. So I did that for a couple of days and I just thought this could be a full-time job just running my URA ring. Like, and I can't do that. But what it did for me was make me feel less guilty about having an early night, like taking myself to bed dramatically and saying I'm going to bed at like 6 p.m. because I'm so tired. I went to this oora ring event because get this. When I got this Ura ring, I set it up. I'm quite techie, set the whole thing up, and there is not a facility on the app to say that you are menopausal. So it literally says that my period is 2,000 days overdue. You cannot say that you're menopausal. And I took, I mentioned it on my stories very politely. I don't sort of slag things off and say, what a load of rubbish. So I very politely said I love it, I love da da da da da, but I'm disappointed that there's not a menopause setting on this, considering all females that actually live long enough to go through the menopause, which is a lot of women are privileged, privileged enough to live on long enough. Enough to be here after 45, 45, 50, whatever. 100% of women are going to wear the menopause. It's a thing that we all do. And it's really awful that that isn't a facility on there. And actually, URA was straight on it, messaging me back. And they did offer me my money back because they don't have that facility at this time in the UK. They do in America. Because a lot of followers, you know what followers are like, they're on it. Yes, we have. And I said, no, no, no. You must be in America because America have app has it, but the UK app doesn't have it. Anyway, really odd. So I was sort of very polite, but I said I wouldn't recommend it. And I actually went to an event. I think it was a Trini event because it's a little bit like a cult, these things. Yeah, she wears one, doesn't she? Do you remember the devil? Not the devil wears parada, Death Becomes Her. Yeah. Meryl Streep, Gold Eborn, one of my favourite films of all time. Do you remember they had this sort of secret tincture thing? Yeah. Um, well, I think these rings are a bit like a cult. You see all these women in the room that have got this, like Trini's got one on Lisa Snowden, had one. Those are the women we've all got these rings on. But I remember talking to Lisa Snowden and saying, What do you think about your ring? She said, Oh, I really like it. And she hadn't got delved into the menopause side of it. And I said to her, I'm really not happy about mine. I think, I think they need to work harder on that area. And I said to Lisa, you are a big voice, you're a famous high profiler. Um, you know, I'm just Karina on Instagram. You're like a big deal. You could actually get in touch with Aura and and and do something about this. I mean, Lisa's written a book, she's a big voice on menopause.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And um should, yeah, yeah. And but she hadn't really been using it for that, I don't think. Anyway, very long story short, Aura then invited me to a lovely event in London. I thought, oh, how interesting they've invited me. I thought I'd be right on their blacklist. Come down to the event in London, have a look at the new ring. They're just launching a new ring. Um, and when I went there, they said they have uh tweaked it so that we have insights for parenting, because I was going to be the one who puts my hand up, yeah, you know, because I was the only one there, probably over 40, I'd have thought. And everyone was very young and looking fitness, yeah, they're all fitness people, but um I actually, when they had the panel, I thought they were from San Francisco or LA or somewhere, like the team or a team, and they were really cool, lovely people, lovely event. And they had a little panel, and I was going to put my hand up in the QA at the end, but they did come in and say we've made some up, you need to up re-upgrade your or download the latest um version because we've now added things in for perimenopause signs and symptoms, etc. So I haven't done that yet. It's on my list of jobs to do that I must must do it. But I did have a chat to the team at URA and I told them that I take my my ring's on charge at the minute, actually. That's why it's off. I said, when I know my lifestyle is going to be really bad, as in Kate, when I look at mine, some of it are four to five hours sleep a night consistently. Right. And uh I said, when I know I'm going to be like really naughty and I'm up lots of deadlines. My daughter's home from school, it's really, you know, it's a real pull. I take my ring off. Like I'm having, I'm cheating on my ring. I just take it off. It's like having an affair because I don't want my Ura ring to find out what I'm doing behind its back. So I take it off, then I don't sleep, my stress levels are through the roof, and then when it comes down a bit, I put my ring back on again. But I said to them, it has made me just look at my sleep a little bit better and think about myself because when I got this ring, it takes a couple of weeks to learn new, and then it gives you some stats like ta da, like you're gonna die, you know, anyway. But it was ta-da, and it said I have a sleep deficit of 23 hours, and they said, I've never heard I've never heard of that before. I said my ring told me I've sleep deficit 23 hours, and we're not talking, we're just talking normal life, not no jet lag, no nothing. I can function on that, but it's not good for your long-term health, Kate.
SPEAKER_01No, I must admit, I mean, I'm I'm not very good at sleeping. I go through periods of time. I went through a period of time not that long ago where I was up at 4.30, I was awake at 4.30, and I'm a nightmare then for picking my phone up from 4.30 until about 5:36. My alarm goes off at 6.30, anyhow. And then I feel exhausted by 7:30. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. But I've been awake, and then I go through periods of time that I'm fine. But it was funny you should say that because my girls are the same. Um, one of them she takes her ring off and took it off recently because it was constantly saying that she was stressed, yeah, and then that stressed her out. Yeah, I bet. So she took it off, and my other daughter had had a consistency of telling her that she wasn't very well. Um, she was major signs, it gives you this warning, and it's red like danger. Yeah, and she wasn't sleeping, and there was she was feeling really lethargic. Anyhow, she went to the doctors in the end, and I said to her, you know, you really need to go. I went for there for a day, actually, and I turned up, she said she wasn't good, and I said, Let's wing the doctors up now. They got her in straight away, gave her a blood test. Luckily, I was there, so I went down with her. She came back and she was B12 deficient, and she has just had six weeks of B12 injections, and she has now got to have six weeks, no, three months, and then another six weeks for a year, she's got to have them. And that that I said to her, the home ring was absolutely bang on. I mean, she had she's had it for a while, so she knew she was running fine, and then all of a sudden, it started to continuously tell her over a period of a month that she was not well. Really? Yeah, and so yeah, so and it was. I mean, there was loads of things on there that when you actually look at the symptoms of what she was having, it was right of what what what it ended up a blood test end up coming back at. So I I must admit I was well impressed because that's uh twice.
SPEAKER_00I've had this major signs flag, it says major signs. Um, your body is has serious signs of distress or something, like rest if you can. Twice I've had them. Once I've been getting on a train to London, I've thought, well, I can't, I've got work, I've got to go to work. The other time I was at the ski resort and I thought, screw that, I've paid for my ski pass. I'm skiing, it's 150 euros. I'm skiing. But both of those days I had had a nosebleed.
SPEAKER_01Hello, hi.
SPEAKER_00So I don't know what that means.
SPEAKER_01Wait, does it tell you on there if your blood pressure's high? Like my watch will tell me if my when will tell me my heart. That was one of the reasons I got this, and my brother got one a year ago because both me, we've got heart disease in our family. My dad died at 55 of heart attack. My dad's dad died of 55 of heart attack. I'm 55 this year. Um, my brother had high blood pressure last year, so did I. So we're both on blood pressure tablets. Um, there is a genetic thing that we're being looked into at the moment for heart defects, which is an ongoing thing. Um, but this tells us if the if our heart rate isn't good. I think I'm pretty sure it's blood pressure is high as well. Nosebleeds are half but heart heart, isn't it? Heart blood pressure.
SPEAKER_00They can be. I've got low blood pressure though. Oh googling it now.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, again, my daughter who had the B12 deficiency, she has got low blood pressure.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I take the vitamins. But I it says U-ring does not currently provide clinical blood pressure readings. I it does heart rate, um, but I have got it on. The app's not very happy with me because I haven't got my ring on. So it's like it's not talking, it's like I'm not talking to you. It's blank page. I'm like, am I dead? It thinks I'm dead. Which finger do you put it on? I flatlined. My O ring has gone like blank screen because it thinks I flatlined she's dead. It just says congratulations. Maybe there should be a little angel.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Do you put it on that finger? Is that the finger you put it on? And it sends an email to like, I don't know, Scott, congratulations, she's dead.
SPEAKER_00So what what finger do you wear it on? You that one correct, I don't know everything, but I you should really wear it on your index. But you can wear it on your middle finger. You can wear it, but I think they if you can, I think wear it on your um your index finger and not your um if you're right-handed, don't use your right hand because it can fake the readings because you're waving around you with your right hand or whatever. So use your non-dominant hand if possible. So you can put it anywhere. But I think it has been good to just make me think about my lifestyle just a little bit more. I think it's interesting. It has told me, which I knew anyway, that even if I have about five hours sleep, I have like I'm in the opposite to you, but I sleep like the dead. I sleep like I've had a general anesthetic when I get in bed. I can sleep, the problem is I don't get enough time to sleep. So it's either pressures or I could be up talking to my daughter until sort of 2, 2:30 a.m. when she's home, and it's about really intense things that she's going through or feeling, and then I can settle her as much as I can. Sometimes I can't settle her, so then I'll go to bed. She's 16, she's not a baby, but um, it's she's very complex needs, so I think I settle her and I think she's okay. Um, but then I get in bed and worry because uh she might not be okay, so then I'll be listening outside the door and is she okay? And it's just really complex. So you then can't sleep because you're worried, or you've had this big um we don't argue, but Ly Lily has these big intense feelings, and she's angry, and she but she is dysregulated, and it's our job as parents to stay regulated so it doesn't become an argument. Yeah, yeah. And that's really tough to do for hours when someone is really angry and really upset and doesn't understand or doesn't can't understand where you're coming from and why this is happening. So so it isn't.
SPEAKER_01And then I'd be new to switch off.
SPEAKER_00And then I'm like, Oh, you can't, and you can't, so it's really so then what I'll do my little thing is that I then watch Friends. Friends is I've trained my brain that when I put friends on, that means sleep. I mask friends sleep. So with Lily's different because it's so intense, and sometimes I really and then I go in the bedroom and have the debrief with Scott for an hour anyway about what's happening. Um, but normally I don't get enough time to sleep, but when I do get in bed, I literally go out like I've had a general aesthetic. I get in bed because I've always got back and neck problems. I get into like the right position, and then I don't remember anything about it until something wakes me up. Like it's I never toss and turn, it's on but I sleep like I've had in a general. And my ring tells me that even though I've had five or six hours sleep, I've had always had one and a half hours REM and one and a half deep sleep. If anyone's wearing a ring, you might be super jelly of my stats because that even though I've had four hours sleep, it will say that your readiness score is good because I have such deep sleep. But I remember Scott having a Fitbit years ago, years ago. Liley was really little, and and Solly was also like 10 or 11 or 12 or something like that. And uh he had this Fitbit thing and he's tossing and turning and saying how he's tired, and you know what men alike, sorry, men, but you know how sometimes guys can be I'm really tired, I'm a tired, I can't sleep, I'm tired. And he and you sat, and this is just like a female thing, my lived experiences. Sometimes when you're a mother and you work as well, I've always tried to work, I need to work for my mental health. I've always been like that. Yeah, I'm money as well. I need money as well. We're not rubbling in it. Um, but I need to work for money and my mental health. So no matter what, I have always worked. It's an outlet. I don't think I'd still be here if I didn't always work. And um, but anyway, Scott would be, oh, I'm so tired. And I used to think, are you effing serious? You've got no idea what happens in this house in the middle of the night with two children, what's happening. Sometimes I'll be on my laptop work, all sorts of stuff. And one night I said, Give me that Fitbit. And I said, Let me, and I wanted to prove to him how tired I am. And then we compared them, and his was showing that he had like eight to nine hours sleep, lucky devil, but no deep sleep, no REM, so no recovery sleep. And mine was showing that I was in and out of sleep. It looked like someone having sort of like a cardiac arrest on one of those on a on Holby City where the screen, the vitals are like up down, up down. But my sleep, I'd get in bed and I'd go from being awake to deep sleep for half an hour, back up awake, deep sleep. And so it would show that I'd had five hours sleep, but like three or four hours of deep or REM. And I thought, wow, I know, and that is actually more important.
SPEAKER_01It's more important that deep sleep than anything. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it takes me ages to get to sleep. I can literally be laying there, the whole everything goes through my mind, you know, conversations that I've had. I I tend to go over past things, which I really shouldn't, but I tend to go over past things. Um oh yeah.
SPEAKER_00I have you not tried the thing that you you know, the my equivalent to counting sheep is to this is ridiculous, but I know you'd love this one. I think about what outfits I really like in my wardrobe.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, if I'm going away or doing the next day, I try and think of because I'm again, I I don't plan what I'm gonna wear the next day, but I try and think of what that's too stimulating because that's real life.
SPEAKER_00That's like what am I going to wear? Because you're planning your event tomorrow. Because even though we say we're chaotic, we're not, we are very well organised because you have to think, what am I gonna wear, what am I gonna say, what am I gonna do, da da da. Yeah, yeah. But that's too much like work, like what am I going to wear? You need to think of like you need to think of a fantasy. So you need to think like if I was invited to a ball at the weekend, would I yeah, if I was invited to a ball at the weekend, what would I wear? Oh right, yeah, that type of thing. Yeah, or if I was going to a picnic on Sunday, what would I wear? Or what are my favourite dresses I've bought lately? Or what did Sienna Miller wear in the 90s? And would I like total fantasy type outfits? That for me, I'll give that a go. Give it a go. That for me is like counting sheep, honestly.
SPEAKER_01It's funny you should say about counting sheep, because my mum used to say to me, you know, when I couldn't sleep years ago, what I used to do with the girls stretches, you know, when you stretch everything, and then you relax your legs and you launch your toes, and then you relax. And I used to lay next to the girls when they couldn't sleep, and we used to do that. And my mum used, but years ago before all that, my mum used to say to me, Count sheep. Yeah. And I used to think, Oh god. So though I was laying there counting sheep, and this is the way my brain works. So, like one would go over, two would go over, and I'd say to my mum, three would go over, four, then five would go over, and I couldn't stop the five from going over. And I'd say to mum, then seven would go over, and then two would go back, and then three would go over, and then five would go back. And my mum used to say to me, Can't you just let them go over one at a time? And I used to say, No, they would then and then they would run wild, and I couldn't get them all back in the bail again.
SPEAKER_00There'd be a black sheep and then they'd be like a grey sheep, and then you'd be like, Why is the fence grey? Why can't the fence be blue? I know.
SPEAKER_01My mum used to say to me, Really? Really? Can't you can't you can't you just count them over? Like, I know it just doesn't work like that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I know. You can do a body mapping, can't you? Like a body map. That's quite a good one where you just think about different body parts. You can start with your right like yoga relaxation at the end. I think it's any my anything that's has your mind is thinking about something other than what it's supposed to be thinking about. Because meditation stuff like that for me is absolutely non-I just cannot think about, I can't focus on someone. Yeah, when they take you this sort of like down the garden path thing where we're going this lovely meadow, and I can't do any of that. I'm not thinking about the meadow, I'm still thinking about what I'm supposed to do.
SPEAKER_01But or I'm in the meadow, and then all of a sudden somebody jumps out at me. Yeah, yeah. My mind just goes to somewhere that it really shouldn't go to. You're supposed to be relaxed. I'm laying there, and they'll say, Oh my, and everybody else, I look around, you open your eyes, don't you? Look at everybody else, and they're like like laying there. And I'm thinking, why am I thinking about somebody in a some h behind me while I'm laying there? Well, why am I thinking of some dog coming and attacking me or something?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I know. That's what I would do. I think we've got a lot of demons though. I think I think it's just living. We've really, you and I have really lived. We've said before the pod we can't really talk too much about how we've really, really lived, but we have really, really lived. And I think you you have an awareness of things that some people are lucky enough that they don't have an awareness of that. Those demons aren't there, actually. And we've I've got some. I often think about the sorts of what I what I definitely have got kind of trauma type stuff, and it ranges between being hyper-vigilant, things like um what I eat, what I would drink, I wouldn't my oh, what are we talking about the other day? You know, sometimes if someone you might be in Weightos and they offer you new cheese, I think I'm not eating that because I didn't open it, just extreme versions of that. But also, I think the other side to that is I am completely numb to lots of things. I think my nervous system is also it's anxious, but it's also numb. I don't get um really excited about anything. So we've talked about this before, haven't we? I I don't, I'm really numb. I mean, literally, I love Madonna, but if she walked in cafe near and sat next to me, I'd think, oh great, there's Madonna, and I just get back to work. Like I'd I I'm sort of numb to things. It and I I I do think there's like a nervous system numbness. I do know there is actually, because I bought that book, get it on the list of things to do. His name is Gabor, somebody listeners will know who I'm talking about, and it's talk, and it's a very famous book, and it's about the price of stress on your nervous system, and you can actually rebuild it. His name, he's a very famous um Gabor Mate. And it's the the inner he's written When the Body Says No, that's it. The hidden the cost of hidden stress. It's actually about how it's really makes you ill if you have hidden stress.
SPEAKER_01Right, okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but it's positive book. It's a good, good book. But I thought, well, I haven't read it yet, I haven't got bloody time. But I thought, but I thought, I don't like I also can't read self-help books. I find it really struggling. So many things trigger me. It's a bit like parenting podcasts. I cannot listen to them. I get invited on loads of them. I can't go on them because what people are dealing with I no one can relate. And also I can't actually talk about what happens in our house. So I'd be useless guests because I can't talk about anything, because it's so intense, it's so private, it would be so incredibly huge. I mean, I I was we I was offered to go on a TV channel four show about our family. Who were you? Yeah, yeah, it was about adoption. Uh, I don't think it was about learning difficulties or like neurodiversity. My daughter's on the spectrum, she has PDA. If anyone's if any of you or your children are neurodiverse, my child my daughter has PDA, um, which is on the autism spectrum, and she is also adopted almost three, so there's early life trauma that comes through, and she's a very, very complex girl. She's a big girl and she's lovely, but it's really, really complicated. And I actually said to the people at channel four that in order for people to truly understand what's happening, you'd have to share too much. Yeah. So when people don't really understand, they because they'll think, well, what's the real problem here? You know, is it because she's not eating broccoli or something? You know, and people have no idea for people to really understand, it's just oversharing too much, and it's too personal. And actually, things like that would be too complex for young people to be, it's too, it's just too private, really.
SPEAKER_01So I can't I think as long as you've lived it, it's very difficult those things to understand, and uh and things that I've been through, and you know, people just think sometimes, yeah, you don't, you can't unless you've walked in those sense, you you don't get it at all.
SPEAKER_00You've got to find your tribe.
SPEAKER_01You will some people will because they've they've but other people just will be very critical of you or and you know, you you don't need that on top of everything else.
SPEAKER_00The lovely thing, I I think find your tribe, whether it's an illness you're living with or a complex situation you're living with, and whatever you're living with, I always think find your tribe because it's that lovely thing when you go into an environment, often they're run by charities, which are incredible, but you go in in that environment, you sit around the room, and some you don't need to explain anything because everybody gets it. Yeah, you can just say what happened, da-da-da. And people go, Oh, yeah, I get it. You don't need to fill in, you don't need the backstory, they don't need to know about the where the origins came of it from it and how you've you've you've been the all the things that you've been through. Whereas an you know, regular people might say, Have you tried a star chart? You know, have you tried this? Have you tried sleep training? We'll go and going back years and years and then, but other people would think would understand yeah, that yeah, that just doesn't want so there's that lovely.
SPEAKER_01And a lot of people want to help, don't they? They do it for the right reasons, but again, if you haven't lived through it and you don't you don't understand.
SPEAKER_00The classic one with chill with and I mean I came I came off Facebook years ago because I had a problem. I couldn't, it's really painful to watch happy families, and and it's that's a really awful thing to say. But anyone who walks in my shoes will understand that you have to if you have a neurodiverse family, you actually have to allow yourself to grieve for the family that you will not have. You can't have a normal Christmas, you can't have normal, you can't have any of that, and you have and I've let that go years ago, but you have to allow yourself that you grieve that you will actually never have that. And part of that for me was coming off Facebook. I couldn't look at you know, we haven't got one photograph of all four of us happy together on holiday or a Christmas day, or we don't have all any of that stuff that normal people have. And you have to sort of grieve that and then embrace what you have got, just let it go. Yeah, and let it go. Yeah, so I had to come off.
SPEAKER_01But then I don't I don't think that there is anybody out there that's got the perfect.
SPEAKER_00No way, absolutely no way. And if they say I think they're either lying to everyone else or lying to themselves or something, I I totally agree with you. What's perfect anyway?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, oh yeah. Definitely. I mean, I just no such thing. No, there isn't. And even if you do go through a period of time where it is great and we all, you know, you can't live your you won't go through your whole life like that. And life, I think I read not that long ago, it is about 75% shit. And and do you know what I mean? And 35% that is pretty good. And and I think we're we're sort of bought conditioned to think that it should be bullion all the time or majority of the time. And that's just not the way life is. Life isn't like that. And I don't know, I you know, I go back to like fairy tales, isn't it, that we're told when we're younger, and those fairy tale stories about Cinderella and she meets a prince and whatever, and happily ever after. And I I I'm a bit, you know, really, should we be telling our children things like that? Because that isn't life. I mean, I've had my girls say to me over the years, but so and so's family is so-and-so's family of together, you know, they're together, they haven't been oh, I know whatever. And my girls, when when we split, I can remember my girls going to their friends' parents' houses and they would call it the pity voice, and they would go, Oh, as soon as we said that you and Dad had split up, she said we'd get the pity voice from the and they would say, Oh, oh, I'm so sorry. And and my girls would say, you know, you get on, you talk. We were at every parent's meeting evening together, you know, we were at plays together, we were at everything together, and it was that, and I'd say to my girls, life ain't like that, and okay, they might be absolutely happy now, but who's to say 10 years down the line they're gonna be happy? Who's to say that five years down the line? You know, something's gonna happen somewhere along the line, either if it's a parent that's ill or that's gonna put strain on them, or financial difficulties or something, you know, do not believe that life is to be brilliant because it isn't. We can't do it deal with it, get on with it.
SPEAKER_00We can't do motivational speeches. Get out motivational speeches for millennials or something like our generation. Is so different though. Actually, it's quite handy. I've I'm I have more anxiety about around strange things than uh I wouldn't care about like meeting Madonna, be like, hi Madonna, whatever. I wouldn't it wouldn't phase me, but actually I have anxiety around odd things. And I went into Sainsbury's other day, and there was this soup, get those soups, ready-made soups, and um the lid on it was a bit poppy, just odd. It wasn't unsealed or the seal wasn't broken, it was just a little bit odd, and then I thought, I won't eat that. I said, Scott looked at me, oh I said, I won't eat that. And it's like literally I'll go home and chuck it in the bin. And I thought, I'm not doing that, it's like three pounds fifty or something. And I saw this guy that worked there, and he's like a young guy, a couple of piercings, he looked to be about 28, something like that. And I went over to him and said, Oh, I've just bought this soup and that I don't like the way the lid looks, so I won't eat it. Can I swap it? And he looked, he said to me, He went, Oh, yeah, absolutely, go and change that. Like I was very normalized. My generation would say, What is your problem? You want to get over it. He was like, He was totally, I feel that, go and change it, no problem. I was like, I found my people.
SPEAKER_01Lived in the born in the wrong era. Yeah, my dad would just eat that even if it was two weeks out of date. Oh, my dad, yeah, and my mum. Yeah, my my my brother used to come with his wife to my mum's house, and they used to go through my mum's fridge before they could settle. Where my mum, honestly, there was nothing, you would literally say to her, Is this all right? And she'd say, Has it got mold on it?
SPEAKER_00Yes, mate.
SPEAKER_01And you go, No, and she'll go, it's fine then, absolutely. And my cousin, years ago, her mum was just dreadful. She came in one night drunk, and they had one of those big fridge freezers, you know, that you couldn't get to the bottom of it, you know, like the opening. Or like a chest one. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00A chest one. Yeah. They put bodies in in American movies. Yeah, that's it.
SPEAKER_01And she she went in there and found this pack of kippas. And I mean, thing to eat when you're drunk when you get in. Anyhow, cook these kippers actually it sounds really good to me. And mum came home and she said, Well, what's that, you know, smell? And she goes, Oh, it was kippers. And she said, Where'd you get that from? She goes, I got them from the chest. And she went, Where? She said, I can't remember having them. She, anyhow, they got the packet out. The shop that she'd bought the kippers from had closed 10 years ago. Right. The kippers was about 17 years old. That was the sell by date on it. They said they they really made me laugh because they were in there, she was in her 20s at the time. She said, Me and Mum sat up, drank three bottles of prosecco just to make you sure I didn't die.
SPEAKER_00Why would the prosecco help? Oh, what just to stay away.
SPEAKER_01I thought that was secure. She said, Oh, it was so rough in the morning, but I'm sure it was the prosecco. It had nothing to do with the gift.
SPEAKER_00I thought that was three bottles of proseco prosecco, is what the guy at A E recommended. The same thing. I ate a 10 a flan of my mum's freezer on holiday. I ate this flan halfway through it. You know how you look at the box when you're halfway through something, and that was 10 years out of date. I panicked because I had a real hypochondria thing years ago. Absolutely panicked. Called 111 or whoever it is at the time, NHS Direct, what before that, anyway. Maybe I called 999, I don't know. And then he said to me, What have you eaten? What is it? Da-da-da. And I said, It's a flan, it's got a fruit on it, there's Kiwis. And in hindsight, they did look a bit crusty, anyway. And he said to me on the phone, Have you got any symptoms? This is old school medical care, isn't it? Right. Have you got any symptoms? I said, No. He said, If you get any symptoms, maybe you should call us then. I was like, okay, I'm sorry. That's so hardcore. Now they wouldn't dare say that to you in case you, yeah. They'd say, Come in, yeah, come in, come in. Yeah. He just said, if you get any, you could hear him like rolling his eyes down the phone if you get any symptoms. And I never got any symptoms. I'm not saying you should eat old things. And actually, it's just remind me something. I sound a bit like I'm slagging Scott the Scott off in this podcast. I'm absolutely not because I love him dearly, and he puts up with a lot of my my crazy headspace. But he's my husband is very laid back, so chilled out. And this is very good for me because I can be quite hyped up, like a toddlery. I'm just quite full on, and he's very balancing for me, and we have a lot of stress, and he's very good at just just breathe. He's just one of those people. Anyway, he's too laid back. He's a nightmare. Not everyone could live with him, but and not everyone could live with me. We're very good yin and yang. Anyway, I came home from work years ago because we lived in loads of different rental houses. And um so you don't really know the house very well. Anyway, I came home from work and I walked in the house and the house absolutely stunk of rotten fish. I mean disgusting rotten fish. And I thought, you know, you walk, you just think I'm gonna gag. I walked in. This is Scott cooking this, and I thought, I said, what are you cooking? And he said, I've just got those that was like white fish, cod, I can't remember, haddock. And you get packets of like five haddock pe know, just plain haddock that you just chuck in and put a bit of butter on them, that kind of thing. He said, I've got the pack, whatever that was out at the bottom of the freezer. And I thought, that is like smells like death, literally. And uh I opened the freezer and he said, These ones opened the freezer, and we'd moved into this rental maybe about three weeks before, and didn't really realise that that freezer wasn't switched on at the back. So we'd got a few things from the frozen goods place, slung them in the freezer, shut the door, forgot about it. So Scott get gets this fish out, and it's so it's been in the bottom there for three or maybe four weeks, can't remember, but basically it was really off because it was never frozen. And he opened the packet, didn't even smell this disgusting smell, cooked it. I think if I wasn't there, he'd have eaten that and he probably would have been dead. It's like his like basic survival stuff, but he's so hardcore. I think it's because he's Scottish, he's like we're 55, he's Scottish. He used to be a footballer as well, so he's really like hard. I remember us doing a bit of DIY hard, is such an old-fashioned thing to say, isn't it? And he's not now in our 50s, but I remember doing a bit of DIY years ago. He went over his finger, like doing with a saw, he was sawing some wood in half, and he sawed over his left knuckle, and then um he went and yeah, so he I don't think he did anything with it because he used to be a goalkeeper and they're old school, they would do a bit of like you know, medical work on the side, yeah, yeah, totally patch him up. So I think he was going to work the next day. So he put some bit of cellar tape all over it or something, went to work, physio stitched him up in the morning, absolutely fine, and then he played at the weekend. I think it was the Saturday, he played at the weekend, and he was playing in goal, it was proper games. We played in goal and he wouldn't really care. But he he said, I thought my left glove was really heavy, and I thought it was mud or whatever, but then he whipped his glove off at half time, it was full of blood. The brown that he thought was mud was actually wet, rainy mud, was actually blood all over the full of this glove. Um, because the stitches had popped open halfway through the game, and he didn't realise because he was like working, focusing on the game kind of thing. That's what sports people do, they are a bit weird, anyway. And I said, What happened? He said, Oh, physio stitched me up, stitched me up, fresh new gloves on, went back on again for the second half. But they back in the day they're all injecting themselves with like painkillers in their hips and their knees, so they could still keep playing. They wouldn't do that now, but they would just keep playing on. They were so old school. So I think he's just so hardy, Scott. Like he and I love this thing he does as well, because I won't eat uh um apples that aren't washed, and he'll just rip open in Sainsbury's on the way home from the car. He'll like open the apples and then look me in the eye and like crunch into the apple. You're like, I don't that wouldn't bother me at all. I would never eat an unwashed apple.
SPEAKER_01He'll crunch. I don't often wash any fruit.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I wash well, actually, I'm not even that bad. You know, you're supposed to spray it with something that clears the pesticides off. I don't do that, I rinse everything, but you can buy sprays that then remove the pesticides from your fruit and veg before you eat it. I rinse.
SPEAKER_01I could buy strawberries and just eat them on whatever.
SPEAKER_00Or no, I would never do it. You know when you go in Marks and Sparks, you know at the train station, you go in marks and sparks, you're starving, but you don't want you don't want to go in Gales and get another cinnamon roll, which is what I usually get. So you go in Marks and think, what shall I get? And you know, you get packets of grapes and things like that. I wouldn't get I'd get the little ones because they've been washed, but I wouldn't get the big packet of grapes and then just eat it because they haven't been washed. No, it doesn't bother. Scott would. Yeah, no, it wouldn't bother me either. I I would not that hardcore. I mean, Scott would literally drop a sandwich on the floor and eat it. He's so old school, he's like the four-second roll. Yeah, I'm yeah, I'm the same as that.
SPEAKER_01I'm to the four-second wall, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but I could just wipe it off and but it is where your head is, actually, and it's all that is very anxiety-based. And I could see I could actually speak further about this, but actually it's supposed it's a control thing as well. But it is something that you can control. But it does come and go with your levels of anxiety because I I'm really experienced in this in another member of the family that I can't talk about, but that that it you have these conditions, but they do ebb and flow with your base level anxiety. Now I went to a trip with Walida to Morocco, Marrakesh, and then further out into the Atlas Mountains last year. Incredible, life-changing actually, to watch the women harvesting their roses, just absolutely incredible. Anyway, when I went out, I was so heightened. I think I'd had a big instant with Lila, didn't know if I could go, all this sort of stuff, it's fine. But I was so heightened when I went there. When I on day one, when I arrived, went into the airport, I didn't eat because I didn't like the look of something. Something, someone I didn't, there was something about it that put me off, and I thought, I don't think I'll be able to eat this. Has it been washed all my usual rubbish? And because I went there and relaxed and had some actual soulful me time, three days later, walking up and I had a bagel or something, and I was walking up the steps to get onto the airplane to get home. I dropped the bagel on the steps, which 1,000 million people have walked on, dropped the bagel, I thought, ah, whatever, it won't kill me, picked it up and ate it. And that just shows how my headspace had changed in just three days of being able to just I mean, I've done a lot of work around depression and anxiety in my family and me. And I know that you can have these things underlying, but it's where your base level is at that time. So if your base level, if your if your if your levels are so high with anxiety that time, then all of your little issues will be much more exaggerated than they usually are. And I was just able to bring my base level down, and just being three days of this beautiful, selfless, wonderful time, that I just thought the contrast in just three days that it had on my base levels. I picked it up off the road and ate it. I thought, oh, it won't kill me. I thought, whoa, that's weird. Yeah, that's new, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's strange, isn't it? Yeah, we'd have so much in our lives, I think, particularly women, particularly mature women, our age, we take on so much. You know, I remember thinking, you know, there's this thing like, don't do things if they don't serve you, and this sort of narrative. I think, I'm sorry, if I didn't do anything that didn't serve me, our whole world would collapse. Honestly. And I I we just are able to dig deep. And generations before us, even more stories.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yes. She had seven sisters, my nan, and she was their generation was we call them we always say about our family, we've got a bit of the haywoods in us, because that was like their and they were like seven sisters, what they'd gone through, what they'd gone through with some of their husbands, what they had to put up with, and everything. And we always say, sort of, you know, that gene in you that yeah, we're so strong.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, there's lots of things on Insta, aren't there, where they have like what Gen X women can do. We we we drank from the hose pipe, we did da da da. And I always think that I always say, you know, if there's loads of people and there's a zombie, I love sci-fi, I love zombie stuff, I love all of that stuff. That's my one of my favorite things to do, is watch that kind of rubbish. But I always think in the zombie apocalypse, get behind me, like get behind any Gen X woman. If the zombies are coming, get behind us, we'll look after you. Because it's so true, isn't it? We'll look, we've got your back. You'll be like, right, bring it on. Like, let's get tooled up, we'll take on these zombies, you youngsters, get behind us. So I think I can't actually wait to be older and more careless. I actually one of my dreams is that I if I was really rich, I'd like to be really political. I'd like to be the woman that like tapes herself to the gates of whatever for the or goes to prison for 10 years for the cause of whatever.
SPEAKER_01If I'm really rich, I would just disappear. Would you? Yeah, just go off grid. Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah, and uh nothing. I would just disappear, and that would be where would you go? Somewhere hot. Yeah. This country? This country? No, probably abroad. Yeah. Europe further? No, probably Europe. I like to say Italy. I'd like Italy. But no, I wouldn't want anything. I would just want to disappear. I just would want to live the most easy, simplest sort of I'd spend, don't worry. It wouldn't, it wouldn't Oh, you want shops then? You don't want to be in the middle of nowhere. All right, you want to shop, you're not going off grid. All right, you spend I'm going off grid, but I'm not I'm not stopping spending. So you're not talking about the middle of France, you're talking about Saint Tropez. You're not in the wilderness with my yacht and my and my five cars, but just no one will know about it because I'm they're on my own.
SPEAKER_00I thought you might go off-grid. Nah. Get some chickens. No, no, you want to be on the yacht. Would you if you were really rich? That's a really good thing, I think, to think about. If you were really rich, what would you what's your lifestyle really? Would you be living would you have a yacht?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I wouldn't mind having a yacht, giving it a go. Definitely would give it a go.
SPEAKER_00What's your car? What's your car? Do you like cars?
SPEAKER_01I do like cars, but it wouldn't be anything flashy.
SPEAKER_00You say that now, but wait until you've got your shopping on the back of the yacht. You're scrolling on TikTok. You know, you you wouldn't have any money left because you're such a you're such a TikTok whore. You'd be like, everything's gone.
SPEAKER_01I'd be off grid myself, but I'd be buying your stuff and everybody else's.
SPEAKER_00You'd be at the front of the Daily Mail. I had 20 million and I spent it all. I spent it all on TikTok shop. I flew to Australia to see Dave the Medium every twice a day for six years, and all my money's gone. Yeah, the yacht would be nice, actually. The Beckhams have got a yacht, haven't they? They're always on the back of the yacht.
SPEAKER_01What would you do? You you would strap yourself to a if you had a lot of money anyway.
SPEAKER_00I'd I'd be a bit of an activist, actually. I'd I'd if I had loads of money, first of all, I'd get a bit of sleep. But then that doesn't mean you get some sleep. No. I definitely would be a bit of an activisty type, and I'd definitely have to be a bit off-grid, not off-grid. You know, don't get me wrong, I love the whole yacht thing. I love the South of France, I love the flashy lifestyle, I love that, love all of that. Um, I get myself a lamp, a green Kermit the Frog coloured Lambeau, useless carb, but I quite fancy a green Lambo. I'd get some vintage Rolex, it's about 150 grand. You probably can't wear it because you get mugged, um, that sort of thing. And then I would live like real farm, half like, but have staff so I don't have to worry all about the vegetables constantly and the fruit because I think it would be such hard work. I've tried growing even bloody raspberries, it's hard enough. Yeah, I've had don't have to be a big thing. It's a nightmare, it's a full-time job. Yeah, and I don't want the stress. I'd love chicken, so I'd love to live that sort of um doesn't Sting live like that? And David Beckham, but his David Beckham's a bit too tidy and clean. I think people like Sting, I think David Beckham. And uh Paul McCallum. Do you watch Clarkston's Farm? Yeah, see, I'd love because it's back on again.
SPEAKER_01The sit the second one. So I need to watch the new series.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I've done we've been on the second episode at the moment, but yeah, I mean I'd need that and a jet so that I can fly from my my real sort of off-griddy lifestyle to then touch into like going to New York for the weekend and stuff like that. But I'd definitely be an activist. You see these old ladies that are like in their 80s and they'll go and stand for women's rights and things like that and be really controversial. I would definitely do that. Because I get really not up, but I do actually get quite upset, but we are all censored.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I feel like I'd like if you were and that actually, so you get people like Ricky Gervais and you get people like JK Rowling and anyone listening, I'm not taking sides with anyone, I don't necessarily agree with everything that anybody says, but I the people like that, the thing that they have is that they are so wealthy they never have to work again. Yeah, so they can say exactly what they feel because regular people, you might even be a Hollywood star, but you still have to make money to pay for your 25 security guards and your extreme lifestyle. So they if you have to work again, you have to maybe not say, you know, Pamela Anderson's a lovely woman, but say George Clooney, this is totally hypothetical. But say George Clooney hates Pamela Anderson, she thinks she's slag, he can't say I hate Pamela Anderson, she's a slag, because you might have to work in a film with her next week. Like literally, and you can't upset the industry, it's your you need the money. We all need money, we can't live on fresh air. I think if you're so rich and passionate and political, like people, and they're clever as well. These people like J.K. Rowling and Ricky Drace, they're very clever. I'm not that clever, but they don't ever have to work again, so they can just really stand up for causes that they truly believe in, whether everyone agrees with them or not. And I think I'd love to be rich enough that I can say exactly what I want, and it doesn't matter who I really upset because I don't need anyone to feed me anymore. I I really like the idea of that, and then I'd think if I'm like 80 and I'm dying, I'd go and do something that I really believe in. If I got arrested for it, fine, I'd die in prison because I'm on my way out anyway. Like to stand up for your daughters, your life, you know, their futures and things like that. Definitely. So, but we all say what we do, but when push comes to shove, I'd probably have like 10 quad bikes on and my own ice cream van and just 25 swimming pools, and I don't know. So we all say what we do hypothetically, but what we'd really do. I definitely would have this sort of farm thing. The chickens thing, I'd love some chickens, it's just a little thing, and I could do that now. I can't do at the moment because our life is still very uh I have such a big lot of drain on me, and our life is quite chaotic-y in a way that I'm fine, but there'd be the one night that I forgot to get the chickens in in a drama in the house, and they'd be gone in the morning. Fantastic, Mr. Fox would have them, but that's a little silly thing. I think next is like I'd like some chickens, but you have to get them in every bloody night. Yeah, I don't know. One night you forget, you do the one night you forget. It's like the fox comes every night just to check on, every night just to check they're not there, and that that one night that you forget they are, I think they're a goner. Yeah, and I couldn't bear the thought that that was my fault. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Couldn't bear the fault. I remember when I had blue tits nesting outside the house where I used to make my video in the last house. My videos used to sit face the light, the window, and there was blue tits. So I normally don't sit there that long, but I saw that these babies were in this blue tit box, and I saw a bloody squirrel come and take a baby out of the nest, a baby blue tit. I wouldn't have believed I heard this squealing, like this primal scream, and thought, what was that? And I looked outside and I saw a squirrel bouncing out of the garden, and I thought, that's weird, and sort of half. Watched it again, squirrel comes back, and then I saw it took another baby bird. The baby's screaming bounced off. Sorry if I'm upsetting anyone listening. And there's a good there's a we'll get happier in a minute. And uh I thought had a quick Google squirrels take and eat baby birds. I had no idea about this, no idea. Anyway, so then I stood under the tree because there were loads of babies in there talking. And I stood under the tree, and Sol was at home at the time, our big boy. And um I said, Sol, wait, and then he came out, la la la, and he said, What are you gonna do? I said, Well, I'll have to stand here, and he said, You can't stand here for two weeks, or however long it is until those, but you can't stay, you're gonna have to leave it, mum. And I said, I can't, I can't leave it. And we left it, and I I couldn't bear to look. I didn't know what happened to that little uh that little family. However, when they'd gone, or they were taken, whatever, I got some um like spikes, like pigeon spikes to keep. I also saw the same thing with magpies, it took the little babies. Got these pigeon spikes, so I sell it, I like glued them on the top of the little blue tit house. So I had these big spikes so that something can't sit on the top. Because what they do is they sit on the top, tap, tap, tap, pretend they're the mum. So the baby jumps up and they snatch it. So I put these spikes on the top, so then the squirrels and the magpies can't sit on the top and tap and get them out. And then after that, I had them for like several years, and every year I had the little babies, and I saw them leave. I was so lucky. I saw the babies actually leave. It's the cutest thing, and they used to come back as well. And that is one of the saddest things I found about leaving our last house was to leave that little blue tip box because they were just so beautiful, and but I've got loads of lovely birds here now, too. Yeah, we've got it stressed me out, it's so stressful. And the squirrel, I know we've got loads of squirrels, but I find nature really stressful anyway. It's so stressful, it's such a stressful thing. This whole it's so sad. I could never be like a wildlife person. You get those BBC people whoever they go filming and they film the lion eating the deer, and I I actually can't bear what do you like those ones? Could you watch those?
SPEAKER_01No, no, no, I couldn't, I couldn't watch those. No, not no, not at all. No, I mean, we've got about five squirrels, and we had a little wren that was making a nest under our sort of bit out the front there, back there. Um, but then I saw a jay come uh round, he was hovering around, and then I he must have got aware that this jay was appearing every sort of morning and it sort of abandoned nest and then decided to obviously go somewhere else and um and do it. But I yeah, I've got bird feeders everywhere, but we've had what's happened to us? I know, I know. And the squirrels come down and they hang from the yeah uh trees and then eat the bird feeders, so then I've had to do them with wire because they've had to null the bite. Yeah, they can open them.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I've got these. Well, I've got these really cool ones. If anybody wants to know a new Kate, I bought squirrel-proof feeders. I think I've got some of those in the middle, and then you've got like a cake.
SPEAKER_01They're really good.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I've bought a couple of those. They're really good. Yeah. I've literally turned it to my parents though, have you? With the bird feeding. What's happened to us?
SPEAKER_01We've been on for two hours, so I don't know if we shut up.
SPEAKER_00No, we haven't. We've got to stop talking. It's quarter past two. Right, we'll stop talking.
SPEAKER_01Do you really want to do this into two? No, that'd be good. Let's hope.
SPEAKER_00Okay, we're gonna say bye. We'll talk about how we're turning into pensioners next time. Bye. Thanks for listening, bye.