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Always Welcome: A Social Arts Salon
Always Welcome is a Social Arts Salon where you don't have to be afraid to get it right to be welcomed. Hosted by Mallorie Kris Greene Kristoffersen, performance ethnographer, teaching artist, and 9th-generation Howard County, Maryland native, each episode uses lived experience and lived stories as the vessel for fostering new connections and deeper shared meanings. From conversations with family to field research across Howard County, this is an investigation into what it means to be human in a culturally complex, constantly evolving world. Pull up a chair. You are always welcome here.
Always Welcome: A Social Arts Salon
Meet My Parents. A Conversation in Four Parts. Part One.
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Before they were Mom and Dad, they were people. People with places, rhythms, rules, and a feeling they carried from the homes they were raised in, into the home they built together.
This is Part One of a four-part conversation with my parents, Lynda and Allen Greene, on the places that shaped them, the culture of their households growing up, and the first home they made together as a couple.
The rhythm. The beginnings. The structure. The love.
A note: this conversation was recorded with care and shared with my parents' full knowledge and participation. Their voices, their stories, their words. I am so grateful they said yes to this project and to each other.
Supported by a FY26 Maryland State Arts Council Creativity Grant.
All right. So today I am with my parents, Linda and Alan Green. Before we begin, I do have to, for the purposes of the recording, ask that you are okay for me recording your voice today.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Yes.
SPEAKER_03Hello, and welcome to the Always Welcome podcast. My name is Mallory Chris Green Christofferson, and I am very privileged and honored to have with me here today Linda and Alan Green, who are my parents. So today I would like to begin the process of bringing you all into the beginning of my story. And in order for me to do that, I felt like it was really important for me to ask my parents if they would be willing to sit with me and share some of the beginnings of their story, the beginnings of their family and the beginnings of the family that I was born into that they created together. And so I invite you to sit back and join us as we begin a conversation that this is just the beginning of.
SPEAKER_00So welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Glad to be here with you. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03So I am very grateful for the life that you have created, the childhood that I was born to experience. And I'm kind of want the listeners to get a sense before I even came, before me and my sisters became before you each met each other, if you could take us back to your beginnings. Because I think it's as important for the story of my life is the understanding of those who helped to make it. And it's a gift for Aidan to be able to have that experience of learning and hearing his grandparents and their stories of themselves as a kid. So if you'd be willing to share where each of you were born and raised, and if you could describe what that place felt like.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Well, I was born in Washington, DC, and I can't remember too well anything that happened before kindergarten. But I do remember feeling loved and being very attached to my grandmother in particular, my mother's mother, and Ankwen was also a pivotal part of that time. But after five is when I can more remember. And we were living with my paternal grandmother, and it was we had a neighborhood. At her house, there was a playground, you know, a gym set, trampoline, I think, an above-ground swimming pool, a cherry tree, and there were cousins always around and neighborhood children to play with. And although they there was all of that, I often found myself with a book, even though I was young. I remember reading at a very young age. And I remember my father wanting me to play outside more, but um I really enjoyed reading. Um that's the part of DC that I can remember.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I um I had a somewhat uh normatic, nomadic experience growing up, having lived in nine different areas um through my 17 years before leaving home. Uh so my dad was in the military and uh we were constantly traveling uh from Japan to Taiwan, the Philippines, New York, um, and a lot of different places in between. Uh but one thing that was central was Elecate City because my grandparents uh was here. I was born in Baltimore. Uh, and so regardless of where our travels were for a two-year stench, we were always back uh to Elecate City. So I would get a lot of questions about, well, where are you from? And the one place that I had that I felt rooted to was Ellicate City, Maryland. So I would always say, I'm from Elected City, Maryland. And people, where's that? Well, it's right outside of Baltimore. Um and then as I became an adult, Elected City, when I would mention it, they would say, Oh, was that the place that had the floods?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01But but yeah, uh so growing up for me was very transitory because we never spell uh spent enough time to really establish roots because we were moving every two years or so. Um there's certainly some advantages to that, um having seen the world at a very early age, and uh you know, learning Japanese or Taiwanese, Tagalo, um, you know, none of those languages really stayed with me, of course. Um but the disadvantage was not having anyone you really grew up with other than your immediate siblings. Um although I say I'm from Elected City, there's not a one person that I could reach out to or point to that I grew up with. So um so yeah, there were some advantages, uh but you know, real disadvantage of not really having a strong sense of being rooted in a community. One of the things that I wanted to make certain um I established for for my kids.
SPEAKER_03Which I can attest. Um, I definitely felt very rooted in in place for sure. Um given that you were exposed to so many different um countries and places, um, would you be willing to kind of share what the culture of your home was like, given that you it, you know, you your family life was moving all around. But even then within the context of of your of your family, what was the culture, the rhythm, the rules, the feeling of your household growing up? And that's also for you, mom.
SPEAKER_01Either the rhythm was a lot of temptations and four tops. Uh my father, um uh he um he was a person that spent a lot of time um, let's say, enjoying life gambling and partying with his with his friends. Um so life domestically was a bit unstable or instable, however you want to describe that. But but there was a lot of love. And and church was a very, very important part of uh my culture. You know, being raised Catholic, being an altar boy when I was young, uh church was uh a very important fabric um to me. And you know, the culture, the rhythm of the church was uh was was very par uh was very uh present. And that was one thing, the universal church was one thing that regardless of where we were, uh the church was the same, you know, the the ritual was the same, uh the community uh was the same. So that provided me a level of commonality that you know I didn't get any other way.
SPEAKER_03Do you remember where you served as an altar boy? Were you in Ellicate City or were you in one of these other countries?
SPEAKER_01I was uh I served in Taiwan. Yeah. I served mostly in Taiwan and uh in the Philippines.
SPEAKER_03Thank you. I in my head child as a child, I knew you grew up as an altar boy. I didn't put the context that it was in another country.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, so I had first, second, and third grade in Massachusetts, and fourth, fifth, and sixth grade in Germany. And so my dad joined the army, I think, right around that kindergarten time, and we moved from DC. And in the summertime, you could get up in the morning and um now this is early before the chores started. Um, we could go outside and play, and then you'd have to come inside like after lunch and maybe get a bath and a little nap or rest time and then change your clothes. And then the afternoon clothes, you couldn't get dirty anymore. You were supposed to keep those clothes kind of nice, and then the next day those became the play clothes. So there was a routine going on there. And then um we did have chores starting pretty young to do, and we had um kind of a regular routine. We had uh we all sat down and had dinner together, and we had to have good manners. We were taught about good manners. There was to be no smacking of your lips, no talking with food in your mouth, and eating everything on your plate, whether you liked it or not, whether it was okra or not, you had to eat it. You couldn't slide it on the floor, you still had to pick it up and eat it. So there was to be no waste. Now, this was my father, this was totally my father. So the culture in our family was more of a military kind of thing, rules, organisation structure. And then my mother added fun. But the only thing is that my mother also, and my father didn't get along very well because you can see my father was very organized and structured, and my mother didn't really want anything to do with it. So that made life very complicated, let's say, um, and a little bit, you know, um unpredictable. But there was definitely a routine to life. And um, my dad also liked to play games, but games were not really for fun, they were for learning. So we play games and we had a learn strategy. And I mean, it was, you know, my father was it was important to him. And um, so that was part of the culture. The part of the culture was to learn and um be disciplined. That had a lot to do with our culture.
SPEAKER_03I love that because it's so contrary. I'm sure for any listener who grew up with Mrs. Green and Ted, the Trinity Extended Aftercare program. I grew up with a mother who is, I you might as well have been Mary Poppins a little bit. You could have just, it didn't matter where we were, fun could be had. It didn't take much. I grew up to always be able to be gifted with a sense of wonder. It was all around us. It was just a matter of my responsibility and how I chose to see the world to be able to access it. And I know I got that because of how you showed up. So it's fascinating to hear how different your childhood was to the world that you've created for so many young people.
SPEAKER_00Well, thank you. That's really, that's really, really sweet. And we but I will say when you have a foundation, then you can be able to explore and have fun. But I do think the foundation can be important.
unknownThank you.
SPEAKER_03Um, okay, well, speaking of foundation, if you could, can you take me back to the time when you were making your first home together? So the two of you, um, how did you first meet? What did that time as a beginning couple look like? And then what was it like as you kind of settled in and decided to make a home and to just to decide on what that foundation was going to be for your own selves as a couple?
SPEAKER_01Linda.
SPEAKER_00Well, I, you know, um my grandmother, as you might remember, met your dad first at Daily Mass, which kind of speaks to his talk about the church and the faith and how important that was growing up. I mean, it was important in our family too. But he met my grandmother at church. My grandmother called and told me about this wonderful young man she had met at Daily Mass. And she said that he had even come to their prayer group afterwards and given her a ride home. And um and she had his number. He didn't know anyone, and so would I be interested in calling him? And I did. I called him and we wound up speaking for three hours. Now, I will say at that time on that phone call that lasted three hours, your father told me that every night he got down on his knees and said prayers. And I was like, wow. And he also told me that he sang and he sounded like John Denver. And I thought, well, this is not your everyday black man. So I was really intrigued. And and after we continued to talk for so long, I hung up the phone thinking, oh my God, really. I mean, I I felt that God was calling me to this.
SPEAKER_03Dad, could you share a little bit on that other side of this uh beginning of how did you get the number? Or how did how did how did mama get your number?
SPEAKER_01Uh well, as your mother had mentioned, I I uh took uh And what made you go to Daily Mass? Well, I had just gotten out of the service, and as I had said earlier, I even though I'm from this area, I know very little people. Um and so I was trying to get myself rooted. I had a uh a little apartment. Um I was uh I was still in the militar uh I had gotten out of I gotten off of active duty and I was in the reserves, and uh I think I had uh gotten my first civilian job at Bendix Engineering. So I was just trying to find my way, and um as I had mentioned earlier, the church was that one consistent thing throughout my life, and so going to daily mass was not something that was out of the norm for me. Um it it really kind of helped.
SPEAKER_02Kind of helped establish a a baseline.
SPEAKER_01I took uh I took your your great grandmother uh home to her apartment and then over the course of the next several days had gotten to know her because I was routinely showing up for daily mass. And um she offered uh to put me in contact with her granddaughter, and I gave her my contact information, and uh eventually, you know, Linda, your mother called, and we had a a very lovely conversation. Um your mother was so kind, um she uh put me in contact with a couple of her friends that didn't go anywhere, and then eventually um you know we uh started dating and became a couple. Um and it all started with a big assistance from the church and Lawrence Brooks. Lawrence Brooks, yes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think it was really significant that uh our relationship started there. Um and to be fair, I found myself drawn and actually falling in love sight unseen, which I thought was pretty significant too, to feel that strongly about someone with just what they had to say. That is important, isn't it? What people have to say.
SPEAKER_01And that's part of what we're doing here is listening and the one the one thing that uh I will say uh I experienced with your mother when we were uh dating uh soon after we uh got serious uh her kindness, her generosity. I still remember it to this day. She would um she would go get my favorite sandwiches or sandwich from Bunpenny and leave it at my apartment door um for lunch. And there was just these very kind gestures that probably didn't seem to mean mean much to her, but it meant a lot to me because uh for someone like myself that uh never really um had much of a community um growing up, it it really started providing the basis of a connection that uh I felt I could build on.
SPEAKER_00That's really I think that's the first time you really said that. I didn't know those roast beef sandwiches had that much value. Speak for chicken salads and fun penny and preference. I know it was old school, wasn't it? Well, you know, you were eating that, but you know, you were smoked then and you were going from like work to school, and then you were doing all these other jobs like coaching and refereeing, refereeing. And so I just you know wanted to make sure you got something in you because you weren't really eating.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and that that was uh probably the first time in my entire life that uh my my my mom we had we had five kids in the household, and uh she was really busy looking after uh my siblings, and me, I was always pretty much independent. Um I don't want to say I raised myself, but but certainly um I spent probably more time independently on my own than any other member of the family. So um if I didn't instill good habits in me, they weren't instilled. There was no other influence that was um was making an imprint on me in terms of my personhood. Uh, and your mother was the first to really do that.
SPEAKER_03Showed you that care that you know it sounds like your your household was so busy growing up. Um kept that busy rhythm though as an adult, and mom. Yes, mom kind of helped to help find that balance for you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, it did, it did uh build itself into my work habits and building a career.
SPEAKER_00Um that's you were very chosen, you really were. You wanted to, you wanted to achieve, and you did.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I I I and those sandwiches, my father, and those sandwiches. Well, I just have to say it's such a cool thing to witness because whether you realize it or not, you were seeing that effort, and that's what that sandwich was for dad was that feeling of being seen, I would imagine. Because it's you were there and he had just been going, going, going, going, and you had thumbed something he wasn't he didn't have the time on his plate to even stop and do.
SPEAKER_01It was uh a feeling of being cared for.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but such a gift, right? Because to to just even experience this.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like I said, if if uh if I wasn't doing it for myself, it wasn't getting done. And you know, a lot of the habits that I would uh uh credit Mr. Caulfield for.
SPEAKER_03Yes, yes. Okay, very grateful. Well, I am in in awe of you both, as you I think and I hope I have at this age of 41 um shared that I am just beyond grateful for the gift of the childhood that I was raised with, for the foundation and the family that I was born into. Um and so I'm I just am grateful as you continue to do that with me here and now on the Always Welcome podcast.
SPEAKER_01Well, let me uh let me add, uh, we are grateful for you and your sisters.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I was gonna say the same thing. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Thank you.
SPEAKER_00But yeah, and we appreciate it's nice to be appreciated. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03I love you. Thank you for listening to the Always Welcome podcast, and for joining me and my parents, Linda and Alan Green, as we begin a four-part conversation exploring life, family, the choices we make, and the faith that fuels us along the way. I am very grateful for your time, your curiosity, and your grace. I'm Mallory Chris Green, Christofferson, over and out from Columbia, Maryland.