Unlocking the Hidden Layers of Maternal Mental Health: Insights from Heather Harding

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In this episode, Heather Harding, a seasoned psychotherapist with over 25 years of experience, shares essential insights on maternal mental health, postpartum challenges, and the importance of community and understanding the deep-rooted roots of emotional well-being. Whether you're a new mom, a seasoned parent, or supporting someone who's struggling, Heather's expertise offers practical guidance and hope.

Main Topics:
The emotional and mental health struggles moms face amidst societal pressures
The impact of social media and perfectionism on maternal mental health
Deep-rooted issues of postpartum depression and anxiety explained through psychodynamic therapy
The importance of support networks and mother-to-mother relationships
How to recognize, address, and heal from subconscious beliefs and shame
Techniques to manage fight or flight response and anxiety
The vital role of understanding family dynamics and generational patterns
Practical steps for moms to seek help and normalize mental health conversations

Timestamps:
00:00 - Welcome to Pulse Beat: Exploring maternal mental health
00:29 - Heather Harding's background and passion for helping moms
01:10 - The exhaustion and overthinking common among moms
02:04 - The importance of permission and help in mental health
02:50 - Social media's role in fostering perfectionism
03:34 - Struggling with success and success layers for working moms
04:26 - Tips for moms feeling overwhelmed and hesitant to reach out
04:46 - Why perfection is an impossible standard
05:45 - Explanation of psychodynamic and psychoanalytic therapy
06:37 - Unconscious mind and root causes of emotional patterns
07:07 - Connecting childhood experiences to current struggles
08:24 - The significance of addressing underlying causes rather than surface fixes
09:40 - Postpartum depression: hormonal and psychological factors
10:07 - Expectations versus reality in motherhood
11:01 - Impact of inner belief systems and body holding stress
11:27 - Limitations of short-term fixes like medication
12:25 - Stories of hope and healing from therapy sessions
13:23 - The influence of mom-to-mom relationships and generational beliefs
14:52 - Supporting diverse parenting styles and individual differences
16:54 - Identifying and transforming core beliefs to reduce perfectionism
18:06 - The rise of anxiety post-COVID and managing fight or flight
19:51 - Techniques for grounding and managing body responses
22:14 - Role of guilt, shame, and societal expectations
26:24 - The value of community, support, and recognizing individual parenting journeys
28:36 - The importance of open communication and managing family dynamics
30:40 - Supporting the mental health of fathers and partners
33:03 - Final thoughts: Hope, support, and taking the first step
34:12 - Closing remarks and encouragement to reach out for help

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:11

Hello and welcome everybody to our weekly PostBeat podcast where we interview some of the most amazing guests with incredible stories and backgrounds and experiences. And today we have a very special guest. You know, this month is mental health month, and we know that a lot of things are not discussed. A lot of things really are not put out there as far as what we can do to become healthier as individuals and as a country. But we have a wonderful woman with us today who has an extensive background who's going to share with you her passion for moms and her passion for mental health. So welcome, Heather. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Oh, it's so nice to talk to you and talk about something that you're really passionate about. And this is Heather Harding. She has an extensive background in mental health, um, as well as she has a master's degree, uh, but her heart really is into helping moms. How really how did you get here? And I know you're you're a mom yourself. So um, and I can truly, I after reading your bio and everything, I can truly understand where you're coming from. Okay, good.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

Yes. Um, so I yeah, it's probably like twofold. I am a mom. My sons are now, you know, 20 and 17. But, you know, I I went through um being a mom and having to well hold a career and kind of just have to feel like I'm doing everything of everything and never really taking a break and never really have time for myself. And trying to figure all that out. And, you know, at one point it was just like, okay, I can't do this anymore. Um, but also as a psychotherapist, I've seen lots of moms be in the same boat as myself. Um, you know, always talking about just being exhausted all the time and doing everything and never being able to sit down and overthinking and just carrying everything. And at one point, I'm just like, you know, this is something that we really have to discuss further because it's not just a superficial fix. And if I could help myself, then I can definitely help all other moms see this so that, you know, they don't have to carry it all alone. They know they can allow themselves permission to um for others to help them. Um, because that's a big deal, you know, help having other people help us, it's a huge deal. It's it it's it's it's simple on the outside, but on the inside, it there's so much that we carry around asking for help. So um I it's just working in 25 years in the field and just seeing all these moms struggle, and I just wanted I felt very compelled for myself, but also for them, to um help them improve in and work and heal from the inside out so that they can enjoy life in a totally different way.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

I love that, Heather. And you know, one of the things, would you agree that the last probably 10-15 years have been even more difficult for moms because of social media? I feel that social media plays a big part in the idea of perfection, correct?

SPEAKER_02 3:16

The idea of perfection, yes, everything, you know, didn't you know everything right the first time, having this, yeah, this beautiful life, you know, this filtered life 100%. Um, I think because we because we you know when we post on social media, we only post the good stuff, you know. That's right. We we you know, we we zhu shop the good stuff a little so that we can see how everything is going wonderful, and we don't see behind the scenes, you know, the kids crying or the kid you just had to fight with your husband or you know, what whatever's going on. And I do think it has increased in the in the last 10 to 15 years, um, even though it was already something that was a struggle for all of us, especially the moms that are you know that are working or career driven. Um, they have an extra layer because not only are they trying to do things at home, but they're trying to be successful in whatever job or career they want to be in.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

Oh, wouldn't you agree too? Like um, I know in my own life, I look at we call them the sandwich generation, right? Where we're taking care of grandkids and plus our parents and trying to manage somehow to take care of ourselves in between. So, what would what pointers would you give some moms that might be watching and they're thinking, you know, I really want to hear from Heather. I want to connect with her, see how she could be of assistance to me. Um, and your information is scrolling in the bottom. So please, those of you that are watching, listening, please reach out to her. Um, but I think where would you, where would you start with an individual that really is struggling and has never reached out before? I know to reach out is the first step, and that's really even a difficult one, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 4:56

Yeah. Um, you know, the first thing I want to say, and I and I know this might be hard to hear, but you know, you don't have to be perfect. You know, perfection is an impossible expectation. It's not about perfection, it's about being good enough. Um, and and even the best of us and even the most autonomous and self-sufficient of us, we don't do it alone. We do it with with help. So help is there. We just we just have to accept and give permissions. Um so that would, you know, is it's not an easy thing to do. Um, because going into what else I was going to say, is that when I start working with these moms, um I so let me give you a little bit of a background for me. So I'm a psychotherapist. I've been doing this work for 25 years. Um, but I'm a psychoanalytic psychodynamic psychotherapist. And for 15 or so years, I was in extensive psychoanalytic psychodynamic training. So a lot of my thinking comes from that type of therapy.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

And so when moms come in, so wait, I'm just gonna back up for a moment because I'm sure I'm like many of the moms out there going, okay, how do you spell that? And what is that? You're like absolutely brilliant. Explain kind of kind of what that is and what kind of counseling and therapy that is.

SPEAKER_02 6:20

Sure. So yeah, so psychodynamic, psychoanalytic training is just a branch of therapy that really dives in, it's it's more long-term therapy. Um, and it dives into the deeper meaning, the root cause of things. And it die and and when we look at the deeper meaning, we're also tapping into the we have an unc a conscious mind and an unconscious mind. And psychodynamic psychoanalytic is really getting into the unconscious piece of it because the unconscious mind really stores all of our past feelings, our past experiences, our past memories. And our unconscious mind, even though we're not always tapping into it because we're always thinking in the conscious way for the most part, our unconscious mind is always working, always moving, always doing, and it's always communicating to us. So whenever we have patterns, um, um, how do I explain? I'm trying to think of the best way to explain this. Um the things, so situations that might have happened in the past, good and or bad, um, but probably most likely when you're coming into therapy, there's things that you can't really handle or manage. So they're they're kind of more on the negative or the bad side. Um, something that's happened in the past and it's it's resurfacing in the present because the same feeling that you associated with it in the past is happening now. So which means your unconscious mind is working. And whatever behaviors or whatever thinking or whatever tasks you were you learned how to to do to manage that in the past, you're managing it now. And so we want to link what's going on currently, what you're holding currently, what you're believing, what you're thinking, what you're what you're experiencing, and how it's relating to what you learned in the past. So it's a lot of deep-rooted stuff. It goes back into your childhood, it goes back into the the the beginning times of when you were, you know, you're growing up and learning about yourself and learning how to relate to yourself and how to relate to other people. Um, so there's a lot of root cause is root cause meanings and root cause um experiences that we have to tap into in order to work through, excuse me, whatever present struggle you're dealing with now. Um I hope that makes sense. So it's more of a deeper, deeper treatment, deeper meaning. So having that.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

I know like in the past, like, you know, I'm thinking to myself when, you know, patients would come in and and we would talk to them very little about their circumstance, and we would give them SSRIs, or we would give them something for anxiety, or we give them something to to help them sleep. You know, there really wasn't, and I always would scratch my head and go, but there has to be an underlying reason why, you know, some of these individuals were having these challenges. And then even wouldn't you wouldn't you agree that the postpartum depression is rising? And what do we contribute that to? And how can how can yourself as uh an amazing, incredible, brilliant therapist, be able to walk them through that? Uh, I once heard somebody say that we have to prepare moms for motherhood so that they have a better understanding of what it feels like afterward, rather than, you know, the books and social media and all these beautiful baby pictures.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

Um what are your thoughts on on the postpartum and and so on? Well, I I definitely think that um postpartum is something that is a deep rooted issue.

SPEAKER_02 9:58

I well, you know, taking the the hormonal part. I also believe that, you know, when when when we be when we become mom when we have when we have babies, our body goes through so much, right? Oh, it's not just a physical, but it's it's also a mental thing. So taking the physical piece out, it definitely is a deep-rooted thing. It definitely is trying to adjust to being a mother, trying to adjust to maybe your own expectations versus reality, trying to adjust to other people's expectations versus reality. And in and in our own temperaments and our own personality and our own sense of self and how it relates to all of that. Because some moms could be, I don't, you know, some moms could have this expectation of like, okay, you're supposed to do it this way, and some moms be like, no, I'm gonna do it this way and be okay. But other moms would be like, no, I I I can't do it this way. I'm supposed to do it. I can't, I can't do this right. Why am I not doing this? And I think it contributes in addition to I get like I said, you know, the physical part of everything, right? It definitely contributes to the post the depression and and and there's also postpartum anxiety um to the anxiety, you know, to these things that there's anxiety and this depression. So really looking into the deep root, we're we're looking into the internal parts of ourselves. There's so many layers when looking with moms, you know. I you know, we're coming in, you're talking about like a mental and emotional load, but there's so many deep-rooted issues when it comes to mental load and emotional load. Not only is it deep-rooted, but there's a belief system that that's running the show. And and there's also, you know, how it relates to our own sense of self. And it also, you know, in addition to all of that, but it also is what we're holding in the body. So there's so many layers. And so when you're looking at it superficially, like you mentioned, like SSRIs, you know, those are, in my experience and in my knowledge, they're only a short-term fix for a deep rooted cause. And so you're only getting the surface, you're you're only getting surface. It's like a band-aid, you're putting on a band-aid and a huge gouge, right? Like you really have to treat the gouge before you, you know, a band-aid's for a simple little cut. You don't put a band-aid on and on a huge gouch, right? Right. You have to treat it, you have to heal it. You it takes time. Um, it takes, you know, a lot of you know, precision. So, so there's so many layers that go go along with that. And so it's really, you know, it that's really understanding that piece. And if it might, and it might feel like, oh my God, this is so much. It does feel like a lot, but I've crew, but I I've done it so many times. I've done it in a way that it that it's it's easier, it's it's manageable. And it's something any moms can do that are that are at a point where they're like, I can't do this anymore. I know I know that I know this isn't right, and but I just don't know how to get out of my own way. This this is possible for you. It's really possible. The moms that I have been working with, I know you have my question, but I just want to say this. The moms that I've been working with even to this day, you know, like I had a session with one last week, and we were dig deep beating into this and we're making connections. She's like, oh my God, I can't wait to come next week because it's very exciting to see that there's there's a way out that that you can still carry, you can still be part of it, you can still be be um there for your family, but you don't have to carry it alone that you can see that other people can be can help you, and that's good enough.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

Wow, that's a great idea. I know it's no, no, that's a this is this is a this is the conversation. And you know, for us to be able to give moms a hope, doesn't matter if you're a new mom or you've been around like I have for 45 years being a mom. And I'm telling you, yeah, it you never stop being a mom and how you gauge each year, you know, is I think dependent upon our circumstances. Um, but the other thing I want to ask you about how important is the mom-to-mom relationship in the the mental health of a of a mom? So, like the mom's mother, how is that how important is that relationship and how does that weigh in on their ultimate mental health?

SPEAKER_02 14:01

Sure. So, I mean, I think the mom-and-mom relationship, that's a really loaded question. Um, I appreciate that question. I keep throwing you these big which probably require a couple hours of explanation. Yeah, yeah. Because you know, my psycho, my psychoanalytic brain is just going. Um so the mom and mom relationship in general sense is is important because you want to have support, right? You want to have somebody that's that's been there before that can say, yes, you're doing, you're doing great. Don't worry about this, just give this a try. But the but the problem, there's so many layers to that, but the problem is is that we have to so not every mom has a type of relationship with the mom, not not by not even on purpose. Um because these belief systems and how how we understand ourselves and how we understand being a mom, we get it from our mothers, right? Or our mom figures, right? Whoever raised us. Well, that's our example. And and that person's example, they got it from the person that raised them. So this is this can be a generational thing, the expectation, the that, you know, you know, we have to do everything, you know, we we have to be perfect in order to be valued or good. Right. You know, we have to be productive in order to be a good mom. You know, these these belief systems can be generational. And if they're generational, that means that there's a lot more deep, deeper work and that that you're learning from your mom. Again, I'm not saying this is by choice. This is just what happens. Yeah. Um, how you know how we develop and how we learn things. It's teaching you, okay, well, my mom was able to, you know, always have the perfect outfit on and put dinner on the table to be, you know, three meals a day, and she paid all the bills, and she was always, you know, but I can't even like I'm scrounging, I'm giving a pop truck for breakfast. What's going on? You know, it's we have to dismantle that because even though, you know, even though that is your mother, she's a very big, you know, big influence, she's a very big supporter, her life is different than your life. And we're we're raising like mom moms now that are raising young ones in 2026 are a totally different mom than I was when I raised my son in 2006, you know, 20 years ago. But the but the belief system still exists, and I think that that's what we have to tackle. So the mom and mom relationship is important in a sense if we can see it as like I can look at you and you can support me and you can help me and you can give me guidance. But if we look at it as like, okay, I'm comparing myself or I'm or I'm holding these unconscious expectations of what I need to be because that's what my mother was, that can create angst, that can create anxiety, that can create overthinking, that can create a negative sense of self, it can create all these other issues that we don't want.

SPEAKER_01 16:45

So even the beauty of what you do is you actually uh walk them through the all these processes and and start to analyze where these these feelings, whether they be right or wrong, kind of are coming from and how to be better moms, better women, and in better control of their lives, correct?

SPEAKER_02 17:04

Correct. Yes. That's the beauty of this. It's like we we work together to understand what the belief is first, and then we understand where why why it happened, where it came from, and why it's serving you. And then we also kind of pay attention to where it's showing up in other parts of your life so that we can get all the information and acknowledge it so that we we have the tools and and the um techniques and the control, right? You know, I know everything's about control, but we want to use control in a different way to know that we can control the change, we can control the outcome. Um and so that's how I help, that's how I help moms work through this because when we look at perfectionism, it is about control, it is about doing everything right, but there's a deeper underlying meaning behind perfectionism that we have to tackle in order to no longer feel like we have to be perfect.

SPEAKER_01 17:57

And isn't it interesting when you know I I have a lot of conversations with different individuals and um I've heard lately, maybe since COVID, maybe priority can't recall quite as much, but since COVID, I hear more and more people saying, you know, I can't remember what it was like not to have anxiety and to be happy. Yes, one hundred people. We have this culture now that that can you give uh can you give our our listeners and our viewers a few tips on really where to start? I know ultimately is um getting hold of you and being able for you to guide them through this. But what are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_02 18:33

Well, I I 100% agree that ever since COVID, we are all carrying so much anxiety. Um anxiety is let me just anxiety is a fear or worry of of some something that's that's a bad tapping, a threat um, or something dangerous is happening. And that makes a lot of sense because you know, the COVID was very threatening, very fearful. We had no idea and we had so much uncertainty as to what was happening. Oh goodness, yes. Um, and we never really got out of that, you know, because COVID still exists and it always will exist, right? Um but anxiety is what we call fight or flight. So which means is when we're anxious, not only are we are we feeling, you know, we we're holding it in our minds, but we're really holding it in our bodies. And 80% of our feelings are stored in our bodies, right? So we're always in fight or flight. Um, and so we are so because there's so much anxiety, we are we are making decisions, we are thinking about things, we are acting in a fight or flight status. Um, so then so when we're in a fight or flight status, how we make decisions, how how we think about things, how we feel about ourselves, how we handle things, it's gonna be, you know, uh more intense. You know, we're gonna be want to be more perfect. We're gonna be we're gonna react versus respond to things. Right. So the first thing, yes, to come and reach out to me because we can work together. But secondly, understand that it's in your body. So not only do we have to change the belief that's going on, we also under under have to understand how it's being stored in your body. Your body is holding so much. So we have to help it not feel so when we're in fight or flight, so I say this, we don't feel safe, right? There's a danger. And our body, when we're in fight or flight, it's doing its job by keeping us safe, by self-preservation, by by doing it whatever it is to avoid the danger, whether it's real or perceived, right? It could be a real danger, like a bear is chasing us, or it could be something that's, you know, like I'm I'm you know, if I don't get this, but if I don't get this right, I'm failing and no one's gonna like me, right? There's doesn't matter, the body just knows we're in the world. Protect your family and to protect yourself and protect your family. Um so we have to get you out of fight or flight, which means understanding what it feels like, what your body's communicating to you, and utilizing some some techniques that's gonna make you feel more safe in your body. And there are techniques that that black people use that are common, but there's also things that are that are specific to you that's gonna help you stay grounded in your body. So when so the beauty about what I do also, even though I'm psychoanalytic training, I've also learned that we also have to pay attention to the nervous system, we have to pay attention to the body in order to manage this anxiety. So it's really about allowing your your body to learn how to feel safe again, especially in times where it feels like it could be a stressful situation or it could be a chaotic situation, which which would trigger fight or flight in the you know in the past. Um so so it's really understanding the belief system and it's and it's also managing the body so that you can learn to feel safe. Because once you feel safe and we feel grounded, we can think clearly. We can we can respond versus react, we can make better decisions. We can really think about ourselves. We don't have to worry about the guilt and the shame, which is huge. We haven't even talked about that as a mother. The guilt and the shame is there, but it's manageable. Um, the anxiety is there, but it's manageable because anxiety is never going to go away. It's a feeling. But we want to make sure we keep it a feeling that we can work with versus hold it as something debilitating where it's creating this fight or flight that's creating these irrational belief systems. So, so yes, anxiety is huge. And I think we're all in fight or flight all the time. We have to learn how to get out of that fight or flight. We have to learn how to feel more grounded during chaotic time so that we can make the better, more better and sound decisions for ourselves and we can actually feel more confident in who we are and what we do and what we say as moms.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

That's huge. And you know what I always I I've heard over and over again is I never felt so much guilt in my life on after I gave birth. You know, and it's just like you you feel guilty about everything. Are you giving the right, you know, are you following the right program? Are you burping enough? Are you resting enough? Are you, you know, and you have many different opinions. And um I was just thinking to myself, I have a young daughter who has a baby as well. But, you know, years ago, it used to be we had a tribe, right? We had other moms that we could visit with. We did not have, um, you know, I'm dating myself a little bit, but we usually didn't have a cell phone hip, you know, attached our hip. We had a corded phone and we had mothers that we discussed things with. So it was based on a lot of our upbringing of our children at that time was based on what did they do at that time? What do you do for colic? What do you do for do you do you take your baby into your bed during the night? What have you? Now everybody goes to Chat GPT uh or they go to ask the internet all these questions, right? And they're very technical. And a lot of times it isn't based on experience, it's based on technical, um, and you would have better knowledge of all this than myself, but I sometimes I grieve about that because we're not we're not communicating with one another as moms enough to say it's to have one mom tell the other, it's okay. You're you're fine. It's okay. That happened to me. That's what I was just noticing with my daughter and her baby.

SPEAKER_02 24:13

Yeah, and I think that's a really that's a really important layer that's that's being missed, especially with, you know, smartphones and social media and all of that. Because you're right, you know, you can go and and go and chat GPT or go into Google and say, you know, my baby won't stop crying, my baby has, you know, and it's and it gives you factual information. Um, but it makes you feel like, oh my God, I'm doing something wrong. Where if you talk to a mom in the past, you know, um, they might be like, no, you're not doing anything wrong. This is what I did. And and the problem, and I think, and I think because of the us being so anxious, if you go to a mom right now, because okay, let me take a step back. I'm jumping ahead, but like, yes, the tribe is so important. I remember, I want to say this really quick. When I was first a mom, I remember like the for the first month, literally, I was not by myself. Like the first week, my husband took a week off to help me, yeah, you know, with with my son. And then my my mom came down for a week, and then my mother-in-law and my and my grandmother were here. So, like the first 30 days, I had some previous mother that was there to say, What do I do? How do I do this? How do I do that? Right. And I think and I think that was it was so helpful because when everyone left, and then the next day I had to be by myself, I'm like, what do I do? Like, oh my God, it's just me and him for the first time ever. You know, am I gonna, am I gonna succeed? Am I gonna fail? And of course, we ended up having a good day, and I, you know, did well as a mother, but but I get fear and that that anxiety around there. And I think that that try was so helpful. But the I think what we have to understand is I I guess I was lucky in that moment because yes, I was anxious, but I was also okay to take in the information. And and if somebody says, well, I did it this way, and you know, it and I tried it and it didn't work, I was like, okay, well, this isn't working. And I and I looked at it as I mean, maybe I had really good moms and moms-in-laws to really tell me, okay, it doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. It's just your baby's different, your baby needs something different. And I think that is a huge because if we sit there and you say, Okay, Mary, you know, what did you do when your baby did this? And she's like, Oh, I did that, and you try that and it's not working. What happens is you're you're not separating yourself. That was Mary's experience, and your experience is different, and she's just giving you some ideas. These are just ideas to try, and you have to find what works for you. You take it in as oh my God, I'm doing something wrong, which I'm a mother, I can't even fix it. Mary can do this, and I can't do it, and my baby's not wanting to do this. My baby hates me, my baby, you know, I'm a terrible mother, or whatever you're thinking. And I think that is where the the pattern starts, right? So, so I I 100% think that having a tribe is much more important. Having having these supportive moms is there, but you also have to separate yourself from like their experience versus your own, because some things may work for you, but something like that.

SPEAKER_00 27:08

That's a really good point.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

Yeah, yeah. Because your life, your experience is different. Just like like when you have kids, right? You raise one child, and you're like, okay, I got this down. I know how to parent. Then the next one comes. Yes, and the next one comes, and guess what? You're like, well, shit. My French, well, you know, this isn't working. Like, what's going on? Every child is different, just like every child is different. What works, and so I think you have to understand that just because it doesn't work for you doesn't mean that it's wrong, that you're not doing something wrong, that you're not a good mom. And I think so. It's not only the work of that, but it's the work of the internal, what you're carrying underneath all of these things. You know, fear, you know, fear of failure, not being good enough, um rejection, not approval. Those are the that's that is the the the the like the brunt of everything. That is the brunt that us moms hold. And because we have those feelings, the guilt and the shame when it doesn't work out, or we don't do things right, or we don't want to do it, or we want to take a break, or whatever, is is so heightened. So I love these questions because I do I do think that they're so important, but we also have to look at these layers in a realistic point of view, because a lot of the moms that come in and you say, well, you know, why don't you talk to, you know, your mom about this? And like, yeah, my mom said this, but whatever she said doesn't work and it's not working. I'm just not a good enough mom as she is. No, you're just you are an amazing mother, you're just mothering differently. And you're your your children need mothering differently. Your family has different rules and different ways of doing, and that's perfect for you.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

Because we're all unique and and our children are unique. So, you know, if you're listening right now and you're thinking, you know, I don't have that tribe and I don't have um that good mother-in-law, or I don't have that mother that's available to me, um, please reach out to Ms. Harding and and discover some of the tips and and guidance that she can give you. She's been doing this a long time, and I really appreciate you, and particularly this month, as you know, it's been Mother's Day and mental health month and so on, really in the things that you can help uh mothers with. And uh I believe everything you're doing is gonna help generations because not only can that mother be um healed and whole, but she can also pass that on to her children um in a really wholesome and a healthy way. And um I don't want to go any farther without saying thank you to our sponsor, Cardium Miracle. We want to say thank you, thank you, thank you. You know, if you're wondering how I can get great nutrition uh into my body, please uh check out at Cardamiracle.com. Um, they make this podcast possible. And uh just to give you a little bit of a tip, um, I know as a mom myself, traveling so much and having a very extensive uh schedule, this is really what helps me rather than 10 cups of coffee, because we know that our body needs blood flow and nitric oxide is a really important part of our entire um, our entire health. Ultimately, it's the miracle, miracle molecule that really helps to uh increase your blood flow up in top of your head, tips of your toes, tips of your nose, and your fingertips. Again, we can't go without blood flow and truly over 700 nutrients and over 58 ingredients. So thank you, Cardi Miracle. Thank you, John Hewlett. Um, thank you, Janet. Janet is the first lady of Cardi Miracle, and she is so uh passionate about this product and of course moms and families. So thank you so much. And again, thank you so much for being with us today. Is there any other uh tips that you'd like to give the moms and and the families out there? Because it is a family unit that you're really affecting.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

Yes, I was just thinking about this, you know, uh take into consideration, you know, that that there are people there that are willing to help and that, you know, um how you do like how you do things is unique and special to you, and that, you know, they're they're willing to help. And just because they give you advice or give you opinions or give you the way of doing doesn't mean that that's the Bible, that these are just suggestions and that you can try them. If they don't work for you, that is okay. You will find what works for for you and your family. And one other thing I wanted to say, and I know you mentioned that, is I don't want to overlook the dads. I don't want to overlook the husbands. Correct. And that, you know, in my experience, you know, 9.5 out of 10 dads or husbands want to be helpful and and supportive to the moms. It's just they don't know how because the moms are struggling with with all the stuff that they're struggling. Like, you know, you know, they they want to help, but they might do something in a different way. And that doesn't that creates anxiety for the moms because they're doing it differently than they do. Um, and and when we're holding, like, we have to do this right, we have to do this right, it has to be this way. It it it makes it hard for dads to to sometimes be helpful unless they do it our way. And sometimes they don't, they won't, they don't or they can't do it our way. So um knowing that they can they want to be helpful to you, we just have to understand that they're gonna do something a different way. And we have to understand that it's okay that they can do that. It doesn't mean that it's wrong. It just means that it's just a another option and another way to be to be helpful. And I know that's not always easy to hear, and that's something that we work with together about like how dads and husbands can be helpful, but they're there, I think they're so overlooked with regards to how how to manage being being parents and and raising kids and keeping a household going and and working and having job a job, a successful career and a job. They they're overlooked. And a lot of the times they want to help, they just don't know how because they're afraid to disappoint. And I know I and we don't want that we don't want to think that they're being disappo disappointing, and we don't want to disappoint them, right? But we just there's there's a struggle with allowing them in because of this need for perfection or this guilt and shame for not doing it right. I don't know that might stir up a lot of moms who are listening to this. I hope it I hope it does, and I hope it doesn't. I hope it does in a sense so we can talk more about this. Um, but I hope it doesn't because I want you to take it in and realize that you do have the support and they don't have to carry this on your own.

SPEAKER_01 33:37

I love this. Thank you so much, Heather. And uh your information is on the bottom. So if anybody needs to get a hold of you, and I encourage people to do so, you know, take the step if you're not living the ultimate life and you're feeling a lot of the things that she described. Uh, please get a hold of Heather. And uh I really appreciate you uh being a mom myself and some of the things you said still still resonate no matter how long we've been a mom.

SPEAKER_02 34:04

Yes, I agree. And thank you for having me. It was it was a lot of fun and I and I always enjoy sharing sharing this and hopefully you know educating moms and helping them realize that there there is there are options and there is a way to to get out of this and have and and live a life that you really deserve and that you want.

SPEAKER_01 34:22

And Heather is not only brilliant, uh, but she is a mom with a heart. So please get a hold of her if any of these things are resonating with you, or if you know somebody that might need assistance and just might might be having a difficult time finding somebody. I know it's I think this field is it's a difficult field to find a person that you can really relate to. So again, I'm so excited that we had this conversation and for the the ones to come as well. We're gonna have you back.

unknown 34:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 34:50

Touch even deeper on some of the conversations that we had today. So have a wonderful month, everybody, and and uh happy May