{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.0,"endTime":1.291,"body":"My first season"},{"startTime":1.291,"endTime":3.041,"body":"as a professional in Holland,"},{"startTime":4.0,"endTime":5.375,"body":"we had a disastrous season."},{"startTime":5.375,"endTime":7.458,"body":"And I always think back to this"},{"startTime":7.458,"endTime":8.666,"body":"when I'm working with clients"},{"startTime":8.666,"endTime":10.0,"body":"who are having a tough season"},{"startTime":10.0,"endTime":11.5,"body":"At the end of the day"},{"startTime":11.5,"endTime":13.833,"body":"the biggest problem remains"},{"startTime":13.833,"endTime":15.125,"body":"when the outer critic"},{"startTime":15.125,"endTime":17.125,"body":"starts informing the inner critic"},{"startTime":17.125,"endTime":18.375,"body":"and the inner critic starts"},{"startTime":18.375,"endTime":19.583,"body":"repeating those stories."},{"startTime":22.833,"endTime":23.833,"body":"When we watch soccer,"},{"startTime":23.833,"endTime":25.041,"body":"something happens that has"},{"startTime":25.041,"endTime":26.458,"body":"nothing to do with soccer"},{"startTime":26.458,"endTime":28.166,"body":"and everything to do with it."},{"startTime":28.166,"endTime":30.0,"body":"Welcome to the Golden Ball,"},{"startTime":30.0,"endTime":31.333,"body":"where depth psychology"},{"startTime":31.333,"endTime":33.958,"body":"and the beautiful game help us play life better."},{"startTime":33.958,"endTime":35.333,"body":"My name is John O' Brien,"},{"startTime":35.333,"endTime":36.916,"body":"former World cup soccer player"},{"startTime":36.916,"endTime":38.541,"body":"and sports psychologist."},{"startTime":38.791,"endTime":40.375,"body":"My name is Machiel Klerk"},{"startTime":40.375,"endTime":41.666,"body":"I'm a psychotherapist,"},{"startTime":41.666,"endTime":43.208,"body":"founder of Jung platform,"},{"startTime":43.208,"endTime":45.125,"body":"and lover of the game of soccer."},{"startTime":45.458,"endTime":47.666,"body":"Hello, my name is Akke-Jeanne Klerk."},{"startTime":47.666,"endTime":49.666,"body":"I'm a personal development coach"},{"startTime":49.666,"endTime":51.541,"body":"and a depth psychology teacher."},{"startTime":51.958,"endTime":52.375,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":52.375,"endTime":55.416,"body":"So today the topic is criticism."},{"startTime":55.625,"endTime":55.958,"body":"Great."},{"startTime":55.958,"endTime":56.333,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":56.333,"endTime":57.583,"body":"And in thinking about this,"},{"startTime":57.583,"endTime":58.791,"body":"there's a story I'd love to share"},{"startTime":58.791,"endTime":59.916,"body":"to kind of kick us off."},{"startTime":62.333,"endTime":63.625,"body":"My first season"},{"startTime":63.625,"endTime":65.375,"body":"as a professional in Holland,"},{"startTime":66.333,"endTime":67.708,"body":"we had a disastrous season."},{"startTime":67.708,"endTime":69.791,"body":"And I always think back to this"},{"startTime":69.791,"endTime":71.0,"body":"when I'm working with clients"},{"startTime":71.0,"endTime":72.333,"body":"who are having a tough season"},{"startTime":72.333,"endTime":73.125,"body":"within their club."},{"startTime":73.125,"endTime":73.791,"body":"And it's."},{"startTime":73.791,"endTime":75.375,"body":"It's really a resource for me."},{"startTime":76.333,"endTime":78.041,"body":"The team, all kinds of stuff."},{"startTime":78.041,"endTime":81.041,"body":"You know, criticism, coach got fired."},{"startTime":81.875,"endTime":82.75,"body":"Power vacuum."},{"startTime":82.75,"endTime":84.416,"body":"Like, all the bad things happened."},{"startTime":86.666,"endTime":88.375,"body":"So in thinking about this topic,"},{"startTime":88.375,"endTime":89.5,"body":"that really came up to me."},{"startTime":89.5,"endTime":91.375,"body":"And then one specific experience"},{"startTime":91.375,"endTime":92.625,"body":"related to that."},{"startTime":92.625,"endTime":94.083,"body":"A little story I want to tell."},{"startTime":94.083,"endTime":97.5,"body":"So, Ajax had been around 100 years."},{"startTime":97.5,"endTime":98.875,"body":"This year 2000."},{"startTime":98.875,"endTime":100.0,"body":"So they were doing."},{"startTime":100.0,"endTime":101.583,"body":"It was going to be a special year."},{"startTime":102.5,"endTime":104.208,"body":"They decided to do a documentary,"},{"startTime":104.208,"endTime":106.166,"body":"like, All Access documentary,"},{"startTime":106.791,"endTime":107.583,"body":"to that season."},{"startTime":108.708,"endTime":109.666,"body":"Season, like I said,"},{"startTime":109.666,"endTime":111.166,"body":"ended up being a horrible season."},{"startTime":111.166,"endTime":113.833,"body":"We finished fifth, which is, like,"},{"startTime":113.833,"endTime":115.583,"body":"unheard of for Ajax at that time."},{"startTime":116.541,"endTime":118.0,"body":"After editing was complete,"},{"startTime":118.0,"endTime":118.625,"body":"season's over."},{"startTime":118.625,"endTime":119.5,"body":"A few months later,"},{"startTime":120.25,"endTime":122.041,"body":"we get invited to this beautiful"},{"startTime":122.041,"endTime":124.5,"body":"opening of the documentary"},{"startTime":124.5,"endTime":126.666,"body":"Tashinsky Theater in Amsterdam."},{"startTime":128.083,"endTime":129.791,"body":"This beautiful art deco,"},{"startTime":129.791,"endTime":131.375,"body":"like, theater downtown."},{"startTime":131.375,"endTime":132.583,"body":"You know, we get all dressed up."},{"startTime":132.583,"endTime":133.875,"body":"I remember putting on my suit,"},{"startTime":133.875,"endTime":135.125,"body":"feeling like, oh, this is cool."},{"startTime":135.125,"endTime":137.458,"body":"I feel important going downtown."},{"startTime":138.958,"endTime":140.5,"body":"And everyone from our team is there,"},{"startTime":140.5,"endTime":141.458,"body":"the coaches,"},{"startTime":141.458,"endTime":143.291,"body":"people who are part of the staff,"},{"startTime":143.291,"endTime":146.583,"body":"like VIPs, invitees, media."},{"startTime":146.583,"endTime":148.125,"body":"Like it was a special event."},{"startTime":149.416,"endTime":150.708,"body":"And sitting there in the theater,"},{"startTime":150.708,"endTime":152.125,"body":"right, a huge movie screen,"},{"startTime":152.125,"endTime":153.541,"body":"and we're watching this documentary"},{"startTime":153.541,"endTime":155.833,"body":"of our year that didn't go well."},{"startTime":155.833,"endTime":156.916,"body":"So, like, just rife"},{"startTime":156.916,"endTime":158.458,"body":"with a lot of evaluation."},{"startTime":159.791,"endTime":161.25,"body":"And then one moment, there's"},{"startTime":161.25,"endTime":162.791,"body":"the kind of the board are sitting"},{"startTime":162.791,"endTime":165.333,"body":"around discussing player contracts,"},{"startTime":165.333,"endTime":166.916,"body":"and I hear one of the members say,"},{"startTime":166.916,"endTime":168.833,"body":"and John O' Brien,"},{"startTime":168.833,"endTime":169.875,"body":"what do you think of him?"},{"startTime":170.833,"endTime":174.041,"body":"And they passed over to Daley Blind,"},{"startTime":174.041,"endTime":175.166,"body":"club legend."},{"startTime":175.166,"endTime":176.916,"body":"He was technical director then."},{"startTime":176.916,"endTime":179.708,"body":"This was, yeah,"},{"startTime":179.708,"endTime":181.25,"body":"a player who'd won the champions"},{"startTime":181.25,"endTime":182.958,"body":"league in 1995 with them."},{"startTime":183.5,"endTime":185.083,"body":"They pass over to Daley Blind."},{"startTime":185.083,"endTime":186.041,"body":"So he got his head"},{"startTime":186.041,"endTime":188.875,"body":"on the screen like, 10ft by 10ft."},{"startTime":188.875,"endTime":192.791,"body":"And he goes, I don't really see it."},{"startTime":192.791,"endTime":194.041,"body":"You know, I don't really see it."},{"startTime":194.625,"endTime":195.166,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":195.166,"endTime":196.083,"body":"Basically saying, like,"},{"startTime":196.083,"endTime":196.916,"body":"I don't think we should give"},{"startTime":196.916,"endTime":198.708,"body":"him a contract extension."},{"startTime":198.708,"endTime":200.458,"body":"I just remember feeling like, oh,"},{"startTime":200.458,"endTime":201.916,"body":"my God, like it was a cartoon."},{"startTime":201.916,"endTime":203.125,"body":"Like, I felt so small."},{"startTime":203.125,"endTime":204.375,"body":"I just wanted to disappear."},{"startTime":204.875,"endTime":205.708,"body":"Everyone else got big."},{"startTime":205.708,"endTime":207.208,"body":"I felt like they were looking at me."},{"startTime":208.541,"endTime":210.166,"body":"So that was kind of just one"},{"startTime":210.166,"endTime":211.333,"body":"poignant moment."},{"startTime":211.333,"endTime":212.083,"body":"I remember."},{"startTime":213.708,"endTime":215.0,"body":"And there's ways I dealt"},{"startTime":215.0,"endTime":216.625,"body":"with it that were, you know,"},{"startTime":216.625,"endTime":217.708,"body":"best I could at the time."},{"startTime":217.708,"endTime":219.666,"body":"And I think we'll get into that."},{"startTime":219.666,"endTime":222.166,"body":"Different responses to dealing with,"},{"startTime":222.166,"endTime":223.208,"body":"being evaluated."},{"startTime":224.583,"endTime":225.416,"body":"But there's also, like,"},{"startTime":225.416,"endTime":227.708,"body":"a human component to it too, right?"},{"startTime":227.708,"endTime":229.5,"body":"Like, we all get criticized"},{"startTime":229.5,"endTime":231.208,"body":"in different ways or evaluated."},{"startTime":232.25,"endTime":232.958,"body":"And we all have different"},{"startTime":232.958,"endTime":233.75,"body":"relationships with"},{"startTime":233.75,"endTime":235.458,"body":"authority that come up."},{"startTime":235.458,"endTime":237.5,"body":"So I thought that season and that"},{"startTime":237.5,"endTime":239.416,"body":"moment might be a good place"},{"startTime":239.416,"endTime":241.208,"body":"to start for our conversation today."},{"startTime":242.791,"endTime":245.5,"body":"Yeah, I have to smile about it,"},{"startTime":245.5,"endTime":247.583,"body":"but it's a terrible moment,"},{"startTime":248.333,"endTime":253.208,"body":"as a young man sitting, in that"},{"startTime":253.208,"endTime":255.458,"body":"beautiful theater and hearing this."},{"startTime":256.791,"endTime":260.416,"body":"And I think, you already point"},{"startTime":260.416,"endTime":261.833,"body":"out that criticism has"},{"startTime":261.833,"endTime":263.75,"body":"the quality of evaluating."},{"startTime":264.333,"endTime":266.166,"body":"So criticism in itself is"},{"startTime":266.166,"endTime":268.625,"body":"somewhat a neutral phenomenon."},{"startTime":268.625,"endTime":271.75,"body":"But we all have, more the feel, more."},{"startTime":271.75,"endTime":273.583,"body":"It is a negative word."},{"startTime":273.583,"endTime":275.166,"body":"We have positive criticism."},{"startTime":275.166,"endTime":276.625,"body":"Negative criticism."},{"startTime":276.625,"endTime":278.0,"body":"It is this evaluation."},{"startTime":278.791,"endTime":281.041,"body":"And I think in your case, what"},{"startTime":281.041,"endTime":283.208,"body":"made it, even more difficult"},{"startTime":283.208,"endTime":286.0,"body":"is it was not the criticism"},{"startTime":286.0,"endTime":287.208,"body":"of the neighborhood."},{"startTime":287.208,"endTime":289.375,"body":"It was criticism of Daley Blind"},{"startTime":289.375,"endTime":290.5,"body":"club legend"},{"startTime":290.5,"endTime":292.166,"body":"who decides over your contract."},{"startTime":293.458,"endTime":297.041,"body":"So makes it significantly"},{"startTime":297.041,"endTime":298.25,"body":"more complex than,"},{"startTime":299.375,"endTime":301.708,"body":"some newspaper writing on Monday"},{"startTime":301.708,"endTime":302.666,"body":"a bad article."},{"startTime":305.333,"endTime":307.041,"body":"Talking about"},{"startTime":307.041,"endTime":307.875,"body":"complexity."},{"startTime":307.875,"endTime":309.708,"body":"It also happens in a theater."},{"startTime":309.708,"endTime":311.041,"body":"Everyone is watching."},{"startTime":312.083,"endTime":314.333,"body":"So I think we all have had our"},{"startTime":314.333,"endTime":316.166,"body":"moments in our work life,"},{"startTime":316.833,"endTime":319.291,"body":"with the boss receiving criticism,"},{"startTime":319.291,"endTime":320.875,"body":"but then it happens just"},{"startTime":320.875,"endTime":322.541,"body":"between you and the other."},{"startTime":323.166,"endTime":324.125,"body":"And, here it's."},{"startTime":324.125,"endTime":325.083,"body":"It's out there."},{"startTime":325.666,"endTime":327.375,"body":"And so with everyone is looking,"},{"startTime":327.375,"endTime":328.75,"body":"how are you dealing with it?"},{"startTime":330.375,"endTime":331.0,"body":"Yeah, so."},{"startTime":331.0,"endTime":332.625,"body":"So how did you deal with it, John?"},{"startTime":334.458,"endTime":336.708,"body":"Yeah, the best I knew how."},{"startTime":338.125,"endTime":340.125,"body":"Which, you know,"},{"startTime":340.125,"endTime":341.166,"body":"I think wasn't perfect."},{"startTime":341.166,"endTime":342.75,"body":"But afterwards there was, like,"},{"startTime":343.666,"endTime":345.041,"body":"the media was right outside just"},{"startTime":345.041,"endTime":346.208,"body":"jumping on anyone who could"},{"startTime":346.208,"endTime":347.666,"body":"have some controversial topic."},{"startTime":347.666,"endTime":348.916,"body":"And I think I probably said"},{"startTime":348.916,"endTime":349.833,"body":"something like, you know,"},{"startTime":349.833,"endTime":351.333,"body":"he's entitled to his opinion."},{"startTime":352.958,"endTime":354.541,"body":"But, you know, I'm gonna keep working"},{"startTime":355.25,"endTime":357.666,"body":"and blah, blah, blah, blah,"},{"startTime":357.666,"endTime":359.25,"body":"kind of like, went on from there."},{"startTime":359.25,"endTime":360.958,"body":"I think internally, for me,"},{"startTime":361.666,"endTime":364.416,"body":"there was a way that I really"},{"startTime":364.416,"endTime":366.083,"body":"kind of disengaged"},{"startTime":366.083,"endTime":367.5,"body":"from Daley Blind after that."},{"startTime":367.5,"endTime":369.125,"body":"Emotionally, it was just like,"},{"startTime":369.125,"endTime":371.583,"body":"okay, like, kind of forget him."},{"startTime":371.583,"endTime":373.041,"body":"He wasn't my direct coach."},{"startTime":373.041,"endTime":375.041,"body":"So in the work environment, it wasn't,"},{"startTime":375.041,"endTime":376.208,"body":"you know, as hard as, like,"},{"startTime":376.208,"endTime":377.833,"body":"a direct coach in some ways."},{"startTime":379.916,"endTime":381.041,"body":"But, yeah, that was my way"},{"startTime":381.041,"endTime":381.708,"body":"of dealing with it."},{"startTime":381.708,"endTime":382.875,"body":"Kind of like separating myself"},{"startTime":382.875,"endTime":383.833,"body":"from him, just being like,"},{"startTime":383.833,"endTime":386.0,"body":"whatever and then going out."},{"startTime":386.0,"endTime":387.541,"body":"So I was able to block it out to"},{"startTime":387.541,"endTime":390.125,"body":"some extent, but also I disengaged."},{"startTime":390.125,"endTime":391.375,"body":"And there was actually one other"},{"startTime":391.375,"endTime":393.833,"body":"moment that is also really memorable."},{"startTime":393.833,"endTime":394.791,"body":"And it's."},{"startTime":394.791,"endTime":396.166,"body":"It's memorable that I remember"},{"startTime":396.166,"endTime":397.708,"body":"this after so much time."},{"startTime":397.708,"endTime":400.541,"body":"But a few days later in the locker room,"},{"startTime":400.541,"endTime":402.875,"body":"another player brought it up."},{"startTime":403.416,"endTime":405.041,"body":"And he's like, hey, how about John?"},{"startTime":405.041,"endTime":406.875,"body":"Say, how about Daley Blind?"},{"startTime":406.875,"endTime":408.208,"body":"Kind of like, not liking you, John?"},{"startTime":408.208,"endTime":408.916,"body":"How about that?"},{"startTime":408.916,"endTime":411.125,"body":"Like, and it was really nice."},{"startTime":411.666,"endTime":414.583,"body":"Like, it was kind of a nice moment"},{"startTime":414.583,"endTime":416.208,"body":"where it was like some witnessing of"},{"startTime":416.208,"endTime":417.666,"body":"what happened, some acknowledgment."},{"startTime":417.666,"endTime":417.875,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":417.875,"endTime":419.416,"body":"I was just trying to block it all out,"},{"startTime":419.416,"endTime":420.291,"body":"like, whatever,"},{"startTime":420.291,"endTime":421.833,"body":"just keep playing, do my thing."},{"startTime":423.041,"endTime":425.083,"body":"But it felt like it humanized"},{"startTime":425.083,"endTime":426.541,"body":"the situation in a way."},{"startTime":427.75,"endTime":428.333,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":428.958,"endTime":430.541,"body":"Brought a little bit of air to"},{"startTime":430.541,"endTime":432.541,"body":"the situation that otherwise could,"},{"startTime":433.5,"endTime":434.791,"body":"could isolate you."},{"startTime":436.416,"endTime":437.833,"body":"Yeah, that's a good way to say it."},{"startTime":437.833,"endTime":439.541,"body":"Like, it did feel kind of lonely."},{"startTime":439.541,"endTime":440.416,"body":"I felt lonely."},{"startTime":440.416,"endTime":441.75,"body":"Like, this happened to me, and it was."},{"startTime":441.75,"endTime":442.708,"body":"I was alone in it."},{"startTime":442.708,"endTime":444.416,"body":"And somehow he acknowledged it,"},{"startTime":444.416,"endTime":446.208,"body":"and maybe even acknowledging it kind"},{"startTime":446.208,"endTime":448.083,"body":"of brought me back into the team."},{"startTime":448.083,"endTime":448.208,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":448.208,"endTime":450.208,"body":"Because it was a social criticism,"},{"startTime":450.208,"endTime":452.25,"body":"as a criticism among peers."},{"startTime":452.25,"endTime":453.833,"body":"Peers were there to watch."},{"startTime":453.833,"endTime":455.833,"body":"So brought me back in some belonging"},{"startTime":455.833,"endTime":457.375,"body":"of like, hey, you're,"},{"startTime":457.375,"endTime":457.666,"body":"you're,"},{"startTime":457.666,"endTime":458.666,"body":"you're one of us still,"},{"startTime":458.666,"endTime":459.583,"body":"like, that happens."},{"startTime":459.583,"endTime":460.625,"body":"You're one of us."},{"startTime":460.625,"endTime":461.833,"body":"Which felt really nice."},{"startTime":462.875,"endTime":463.375,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":464.0,"endTime":465.833,"body":"What I think is so interesting about"},{"startTime":465.833,"endTime":468.458,"body":"soccer is, dealing with criticism."},{"startTime":468.458,"endTime":469.833,"body":"It's really everywhere."},{"startTime":469.833,"endTime":471.291,"body":"It's, within the club."},{"startTime":471.291,"endTime":472.458,"body":"It's with your peers."},{"startTime":472.458,"endTime":474.791,"body":"It's from the trainer, coach,"},{"startTime":475.958,"endTime":479.208,"body":"it's from the public, it's from,"},{"startTime":479.208,"endTime":480.416,"body":"football and panelists."},{"startTime":480.416,"endTime":482.708,"body":"It's the audience in."},{"startTime":482.708,"endTime":483.666,"body":"In the stadium."},{"startTime":483.666,"endTime":486.416,"body":"There's feedback"},{"startTime":486.416,"endTime":487.958,"body":"coming your way and"},{"startTime":487.958,"endTime":491.916,"body":"there's a criticism coming your way."},{"startTime":491.916,"endTime":494.291,"body":"So it's not so much how can I avoid it,"},{"startTime":494.291,"endTime":496.416,"body":"but really how do I deal with it"},{"startTime":496.416,"endTime":497.625,"body":"as a soccer player."},{"startTime":497.625,"endTime":498.875,"body":"And I think as"},{"startTime":498.875,"endTime":500.125,"body":"as people generally,"},{"startTime":500.125,"endTime":502.291,"body":"we really have to relate somehow."},{"startTime":503.083,"endTime":505.583,"body":"There's no avoiding possible."},{"startTime":506.125,"endTime":508.125,"body":"Well, that is very true."},{"startTime":508.125,"endTime":511.041,"body":"And I think that brings it back to."},{"startTime":511.041,"endTime":513.458,"body":"We all experience criticism a lot,"},{"startTime":514.291,"endTime":516.583,"body":"and in the soccer world,"},{"startTime":516.583,"endTime":518.583,"body":"you can avoid it to a certain extent."},{"startTime":518.583,"endTime":521.625,"body":"Don't open certain newspapers,"},{"startTime":522.541,"endTime":524.583,"body":"really, know who says what."},{"startTime":525.625,"endTime":527.333,"body":"Unfortunately with social media,"},{"startTime":527.333,"endTime":528.916,"body":"your friends go forward,"},{"startTime":528.916,"endTime":531.083,"body":"you are the meme where,"},{"startTime":531.083,"endTime":532.541,"body":"where they criticize you."},{"startTime":533.208,"endTime":540.166,"body":"But Yeah, it's probably comes down"},{"startTime":540.166,"endTime":543.0,"body":"to in our own lives also who says it"},{"startTime":543.0,"endTime":545.291,"body":"and what value do I place on,"},{"startTime":545.291,"endTime":546.375,"body":"on that criticism."},{"startTime":547.208,"endTime":550.0,"body":"And criticism by nature stinks."},{"startTime":551.416,"endTime":553.791,"body":"So we have to be very careful with,"},{"startTime":553.791,"endTime":555.083,"body":"with the stinging"},{"startTime":555.083,"endTime":556.375,"body":"nature of criticism."},{"startTime":556.708,"endTime":557.041,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":557.041,"endTime":559.041,"body":"So there's something in"},{"startTime":559.041,"endTime":562.875,"body":"the way that you receive criticism."},{"startTime":563.666,"endTime":565.291,"body":"It asks something"},{"startTime":565.291,"endTime":567.291,"body":"because it will come your way"},{"startTime":567.291,"endTime":569.458,"body":"and how to deal with that sting."},{"startTime":569.458,"endTime":573.041,"body":"As you're saying, and I hear"},{"startTime":573.041,"endTime":575.416,"body":"in what you're saying also the first,"},{"startTime":575.416,"endTime":576.75,"body":"who is"},{"startTime":577.291,"endTime":579.375,"body":"doing it or who is saying this?"},{"startTime":579.375,"endTime":581.125,"body":"Is this person informed?"},{"startTime":583.375,"endTime":584.375,"body":"Like I know"},{"startTime":584.375,"endTime":587.833,"body":"that one of the Dutch players"},{"startTime":587.833,"endTime":590.125,"body":"said the other day, like"},{"startTime":590.125,"endTime":591.625,"body":"people don't understand football."},{"startTime":592.166,"endTime":594.875,"body":"So why to take criticism"},{"startTime":594.875,"endTime":596.166,"body":"from people that don't really"},{"startTime":596.166,"endTime":597.166,"body":"understand the game."},{"startTime":597.875,"endTime":599.75,"body":"Like if this person informed is"},{"startTime":599.75,"endTime":603.166,"body":"a really good first setting boundary"},{"startTime":603.166,"endTime":605.125,"body":"who you accept criticism from"},{"startTime":605.125,"endTime":607.208,"body":"and who not to accept it from."},{"startTime":608.416,"endTime":609.625,"body":"Or it might be helpful."},{"startTime":610.416,"endTime":611.166,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":611.166,"endTime":613.083,"body":"And so with John's example,"},{"startTime":613.083,"endTime":614.958,"body":"the problem there was that"},{"startTime":614.958,"endTime":616.125,"body":"it is someone who"},{"startTime":616.125,"endTime":617.541,"body":"decides over your contract."},{"startTime":618.5,"endTime":623.416,"body":"It's not someone in behind the TV"},{"startTime":623.416,"endTime":625.0,"body":"in some remote place."},{"startTime":625.166,"endTime":627.291,"body":"Personally it was someone I respected."},{"startTime":627.291,"endTime":627.541,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":627.541,"endTime":628.958,"body":"He played at the highest level."},{"startTime":628.958,"endTime":630.75,"body":"He played a similar position to me."},{"startTime":631.458,"endTime":632.708,"body":"So there was some, you know,"},{"startTime":632.708,"endTime":635.291,"body":"like a wish for me to like,"},{"startTime":635.291,"endTime":637.541,"body":"for him to like have my back."},{"startTime":637.541,"endTime":638.916,"body":"Like that would have felt really good."},{"startTime":638.916,"endTime":639.208,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":639.208,"endTime":642.25,"body":"And instead it was the total opposite."},{"startTime":644.166,"endTime":645.125,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":645.125,"endTime":645.666,"body":"How different."},{"startTime":646.25,"endTime":648.541,"body":"What were some mechanisms that"},{"startTime":648.541,"endTime":651.833,"body":"make you continue to play well,"},{"startTime":651.833,"endTime":653.541,"body":"what did you tell yourself?"},{"startTime":657.041,"endTime":659.208,"body":"Yeah, I mean I think."},{"startTime":659.208,"endTime":659.625,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":659.625,"endTime":661.416,"body":"Sometimes in these situations there"},{"startTime":661.416,"endTime":662.166,"body":"can be like that"},{"startTime":662.166,"endTime":663.666,"body":"I'm gonna prove him wrong,"},{"startTime":663.666,"endTime":665.458,"body":"you know, and I had that at"},{"startTime":665.458,"endTime":666.666,"body":"different points in my career,"},{"startTime":666.666,"endTime":668.583,"body":"but that was more related to maybe"},{"startTime":668.583,"endTime":669.5,"body":"sitting on the bench"},{"startTime":669.5,"endTime":670.5,"body":"or something like that"},{"startTime":670.5,"endTime":671.25,"body":"where I was like no,"},{"startTime":671.25,"endTime":673.416,"body":"I want to prove the coach wrong"},{"startTime":673.416,"endTime":674.25,"body":"in this moment."},{"startTime":674.25,"endTime":675.208,"body":"It wasn't that."},{"startTime":676.875,"endTime":678.666,"body":"But I think for me it was just like"},{"startTime":678.666,"endTime":679.458,"body":"blocking it out,"},{"startTime":679.458,"endTime":681.833,"body":"like, whatever, let it go."},{"startTime":681.833,"endTime":683.208,"body":"If it came up in my memory,"},{"startTime":683.208,"endTime":684.458,"body":"I'll let it go."},{"startTime":684.458,"endTime":684.791,"body":"You know."},{"startTime":684.791,"endTime":687.166,"body":"But I think as a 20, I think"},{"startTime":687.166,"endTime":689.708,"body":"I was 21 year old, very, a little"},{"startTime":689.708,"endTime":690.625,"body":"more processing"},{"startTime":690.625,"endTime":691.916,"body":"what I'd wish for myself"},{"startTime":691.958,"endTime":693.0,"body":"and when I work with"},{"startTime":693.0,"endTime":695.041,"body":"athletes in a similar situation is just"},{"startTime":695.041,"endTime":696.708,"body":"kind of opening it up a little more,"},{"startTime":696.708,"endTime":699.041,"body":"letting the feelings be there,"},{"startTime":699.041,"endTime":701.708,"body":"and then maybe shifting"},{"startTime":701.708,"endTime":702.916,"body":"a little bit towards like,"},{"startTime":702.916,"endTime":703.541,"body":"you know what,"},{"startTime":703.541,"endTime":705.625,"body":"what do you care about again,"},{"startTime":705.666,"endTime":707.625,"body":"this kind of inner decider"},{"startTime":707.625,"endTime":708.958,"body":"or Inner authority."},{"startTime":708.958,"endTime":710.833,"body":"You know, what really matters to you,"},{"startTime":710.833,"endTime":711.5,"body":"you know, he didn't,"},{"startTime":711.5,"endTime":712.125,"body":"he doesn't like you."},{"startTime":712.125,"endTime":713.166,"body":"It wasn't really."},{"startTime":713.166,"endTime":714.75,"body":"He didn't say he likes"},{"startTime":714.75,"endTime":716.125,"body":"certain critiques of me."},{"startTime":716.125,"endTime":717.208,"body":"Nothing I could take in"},{"startTime":717.208,"endTime":718.208,"body":"and find useful."},{"startTime":718.208,"endTime":719.625,"body":"It was just kind"},{"startTime":719.625,"endTime":720.958,"body":"of an opinion in a way."},{"startTime":720.958,"endTime":722.625,"body":"So it's like, okay, well what,"},{"startTime":722.625,"endTime":723.833,"body":"what are you good at?"},{"startTime":723.833,"endTime":724.666,"body":"You know, what do you care about?"},{"startTime":724.666,"endTime":725.291,"body":"What are you good at?"},{"startTime":725.291,"endTime":726.166,"body":"And kind of like having"},{"startTime":726.166,"endTime":727.5,"body":"some self definition."},{"startTime":730.375,"endTime":730.791,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":730.791,"endTime":732.125,"body":"And more self belief."},{"startTime":732.125,"endTime":733.666,"body":"Like, hey, he might not think that,"},{"startTime":733.666,"endTime":735.666,"body":"but I know I put in the work."},{"startTime":735.666,"endTime":737.041,"body":"I know I could play at this level."},{"startTime":738.958,"endTime":739.5,"body":"Yeah, it's okay."},{"startTime":739.5,"endTime":741.041,"body":"He can have his opinion."},{"startTime":741.041,"endTime":741.708,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":741.708,"endTime":743.208,"body":"So what I hear you do is"},{"startTime":744.0,"endTime":745.791,"body":"that you have an inner critic"},{"startTime":745.791,"endTime":748.0,"body":"that could repeat the same thing."},{"startTime":748.0,"endTime":748.958,"body":"You're not good enough."},{"startTime":750.166,"endTime":751.666,"body":"And whatever it then starts"},{"startTime":751.666,"endTime":752.916,"body":"saying criticize him."},{"startTime":752.916,"endTime":753.75,"body":"You're not good at"},{"startTime":755.041,"endTime":757.041,"body":"this particular defensive task."},{"startTime":757.041,"endTime":758.583,"body":"You're not good at this."},{"startTime":759.208,"endTime":763.625,"body":"Or you shift to the inner authority,"},{"startTime":764.583,"endTime":766.5,"body":"that that has, comes from a different"},{"startTime":766.5,"endTime":769.25,"body":"position and that you can focus on."},{"startTime":771.166,"endTime":772.416,"body":"I play the game because"},{"startTime":772.416,"endTime":775.083,"body":"I really enjoy playing soccer"},{"startTime":775.083,"endTime":777.541,"body":"and Ido my best playing soccer."},{"startTime":777.541,"endTime":779.541,"body":"And then we'll see where we,"},{"startTime":779.541,"endTime":781.0,"body":"where we end then"},{"startTime":781.0,"endTime":782.958,"body":"that you move yourself"},{"startTime":782.958,"endTime":785.166,"body":"out of the inner critic."},{"startTime":785.166,"endTime":786.666,"body":"Because at the end of the day"},{"startTime":786.666,"endTime":789.375,"body":"the biggest problem remains"},{"startTime":789.375,"endTime":791.0,"body":"when the outer critic"},{"startTime":791.0,"endTime":792.791,"body":"starts informing the inner critic"},{"startTime":792.791,"endTime":794.375,"body":"and the inner critic starts,"},{"startTime":795.5,"endTime":797.25,"body":"starts repeating those stories."},{"startTime":800.375,"endTime":800.75,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":800.75,"endTime":801.25,"body":"That's great."},{"startTime":802.125,"endTime":803.875,"body":"And I think one element I'd add"},{"startTime":803.875,"endTime":805.791,"body":"to that like that is space."},{"startTime":806.708,"endTime":807.041,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":807.041,"endTime":809.916,"body":"Like how much space does the inner"},{"startTime":809.916,"endTime":812.791,"body":"critic or that image of Daley Blind"},{"startTime":812.791,"endTime":814.541,"body":"is ten foot by, ten foot head."},{"startTime":814.541,"endTime":816.083,"body":"Like how much does it kind"},{"startTime":816.083,"endTime":818.291,"body":"of take up in my psych,"},{"startTime":818.291,"endTime":819.0,"body":"my psyche."},{"startTime":819.0,"endTime":819.333,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":819.333,"endTime":820.375,"body":"Was it something that's like"},{"startTime":820.375,"endTime":821.625,"body":"present there all the time or is"},{"startTime":821.625,"endTime":822.958,"body":"it something that comes out,"},{"startTime":822.958,"endTime":824.166,"body":"there it is again and it goes."},{"startTime":824.166,"endTime":825.083,"body":"And there's space for"},{"startTime":825.083,"endTime":826.625,"body":"other parts of myself."},{"startTime":826.625,"endTime":827.5,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":827.5,"endTime":828.625,"body":"Because I think when people"},{"startTime":829.333,"endTime":830.958,"body":"talk about authority, right."},{"startTime":830.958,"endTime":833.833,"body":"It is, it can sometimes dominate"},{"startTime":833.833,"endTime":836.791,"body":"your whole psyche and really"},{"startTime":836.791,"endTime":837.791,"body":"learning to live with it"},{"startTime":837.791,"endTime":839.125,"body":"and relate to it and kind"},{"startTime":839.125,"endTime":840.458,"body":"of get it in its right place."},{"startTime":841.041,"endTime":841.833,"body":"Something's important."},{"startTime":843.875,"endTime":844.125,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":844.125,"endTime":845.541,"body":"That probably also relates"},{"startTime":845.541,"endTime":847.625,"body":"to what Jung calls the complexes."},{"startTime":847.625,"endTime":849.041,"body":"You know, where the psychological"},{"startTime":849.041,"endTime":850.333,"body":"history plays up."},{"startTime":851.125,"endTime":853.791,"body":"Like in this moment, there might be,"},{"startTime":853.791,"endTime":856.166,"body":"experiences earlier in childhood,"},{"startTime":857.0,"endTime":858.708,"body":"where the authority,"},{"startTime":858.708,"endTime":861.333,"body":"someone in an authority figure"},{"startTime":861.333,"endTime":864.5,"body":"or in authority position has criticized you."},{"startTime":865.083,"endTime":867.625,"body":"And if that has a life of its own,"},{"startTime":867.625,"endTime":869.791,"body":"an emotional charge that gets"},{"startTime":869.791,"endTime":871.5,"body":"triggered the moment that it gets"},{"startTime":871.5,"endTime":873.291,"body":"repeated later on in life."},{"startTime":873.291,"endTime":874.333,"body":"And so there's,"},{"startTime":874.333,"endTime":877.791,"body":"there's an entire History, suddenly,"},{"startTime":877.791,"endTime":879.791,"body":"in the present coming up emotionally"},{"startTime":879.791,"endTime":881.125,"body":"as well to deal with."},{"startTime":881.125,"endTime":883.166,"body":"So then it's not just Daley Blind."},{"startTime":883.166,"endTime":885.583,"body":"It might be that there's way more."},{"startTime":885.583,"endTime":887.583,"body":"That's also why certain people"},{"startTime":887.583,"endTime":891.208,"body":"might be more getting off balance"},{"startTime":891.208,"endTime":894.083,"body":"when they receive criticism than others."},{"startTime":894.083,"endTime":895.291,"body":"Depending on their history."},{"startTime":895.875,"endTime":899.25,"body":"And the history has densified"},{"startTime":900.0,"endTime":901.833,"body":"into an inner critic."},{"startTime":901.833,"endTime":904.041,"body":"And so for a big part it comes"},{"startTime":904.041,"endTime":906.666,"body":"down to how do we deal"},{"startTime":906.666,"endTime":908.083,"body":"with this inner critic."},{"startTime":908.791,"endTime":911.375,"body":"And."},{"startTime":911.375,"endTime":912.5,"body":"And there are all kinds"},{"startTime":912.5,"endTime":913.666,"body":"of steps to do that."},{"startTime":913.666,"endTime":914.5,"body":"But"},{"startTime":915.583,"endTime":916.958,"body":"It's very important just to know"},{"startTime":916.958,"endTime":918.791,"body":"for people that they're not one."},{"startTime":919.416,"endTime":921.375,"body":"One person like that."},{"startTime":921.375,"endTime":922.625,"body":"In the Jungian psychology,"},{"startTime":922.625,"endTime":924.875,"body":"we're a boarding house of figures."},{"startTime":925.625,"endTime":926.416,"body":"We have the I."},{"startTime":926.416,"endTime":928.5,"body":"And then there is one figure that"},{"startTime":928.5,"endTime":929.208,"body":"walks around"},{"startTime":929.208,"endTime":930.958,"body":"and criticizes everything."},{"startTime":931.833,"endTime":934.041,"body":"And usually has a particular style"},{"startTime":934.041,"endTime":935.625,"body":"and particular points"},{"startTime":935.625,"endTime":937.75,"body":"and particular rhythm of speaking."},{"startTime":938.625,"endTime":940.833,"body":"And in some people"},{"startTime":940.833,"endTime":942.791,"body":"is more dominant than others."},{"startTime":942.791,"endTime":944.708,"body":"We all have it."},{"startTime":944.708,"endTime":946.875,"body":"But we need to learn."},{"startTime":947.625,"endTime":949.291,"body":"We need to learn about this figure"},{"startTime":949.291,"endTime":952.25,"body":"so that we don't identify with it."},{"startTime":953.125,"endTime":954.5,"body":"Then we start believing it."},{"startTime":956.25,"endTime":956.875,"body":"But this."},{"startTime":956.875,"endTime":959.208,"body":"The critic is not the best coach,"},{"startTime":959.208,"endTime":960.083,"body":"that's for sure."},{"startTime":962.25,"endTime":963.333,"body":"So how would you work"},{"startTime":963.333,"endTime":964.666,"body":"with an inner critic, Machiel?"},{"startTime":966.666,"endTime":971.958,"body":"I think that one, fun, interesting way"},{"startTime":971.958,"endTime":977.416,"body":"is close your eyes and allow"},{"startTime":977.416,"endTime":979.125,"body":"the critical voice to be present."},{"startTime":980.083,"endTime":981.916,"body":"Hear what it says and then"},{"startTime":981.916,"endTime":983.833,"body":"imagine what kind of."},{"startTime":983.833,"endTime":986.0,"body":"See what kind of image comes up"},{"startTime":987.125,"endTime":989.625,"body":"and then what kind of figure."},{"startTime":989.625,"endTime":992.0,"body":"If this was, if you had to draw it,"},{"startTime":992.0,"endTime":993.125,"body":"what would it look like?"},{"startTime":994.083,"endTime":996.083,"body":"It could be a kind of a skinny figure,"},{"startTime":996.708,"endTime":998.958,"body":"or a dark cloud"},{"startTime":998.958,"endTime":1001.375,"body":"or anything can come up."},{"startTime":1001.375,"endTime":1003.125,"body":"And then you can, you,"},{"startTime":1003.666,"endTime":1005.333,"body":"what you do there is you,"},{"startTime":1005.333,"endTime":1007.208,"body":"You get it out of yourself."},{"startTime":1008.291,"endTime":1009.833,"body":"Because in the initial phase it's,"},{"startTime":1009.833,"endTime":1010.541,"body":"It's very often"},{"startTime":1010.541,"endTime":1012.125,"body":"we're identified with it."},{"startTime":1012.125,"endTime":1013.416,"body":"So we need to get it."},{"startTime":1013.416,"endTime":1014.958,"body":"We can relate to it."},{"startTime":1014.958,"endTime":1017.041,"body":"And then the step two is"},{"startTime":1017.041,"endTime":1018.875,"body":"write down the things it says"},{"startTime":1020.083,"endTime":1021.583,"body":"and usually it..."},{"startTime":1021.583,"endTime":1024.291,"body":"It falls back in,"},{"startTime":1024.291,"endTime":1026.208,"body":"In certain behavioral"},{"startTime":1026.208,"endTime":1028.291,"body":"of repetitive patterns."},{"startTime":1029.041,"endTime":1030.791,"body":"You know you're not good at this"},{"startTime":1030.791,"endTime":1032.25,"body":"or you don't speak up"},{"startTime":1032.25,"endTime":1034.125,"body":"or you have weird ears"},{"startTime":1034.125,"endTime":1036.583,"body":"or you cannot relate to people"},{"startTime":1036.583,"endTime":1039.0,"body":"or whatever it..."},{"startTime":1039.0,"endTime":1042.0,"body":"It hammers down and it hammers down"},{"startTime":1042.0,"endTime":1045.083,"body":"usually a small subset of things."},{"startTime":1045.5,"endTime":1047.208,"body":"But then at least we know,"},{"startTime":1047.208,"endTime":1048.25,"body":"there you are,"},{"startTime":1048.875,"endTime":1051.0,"body":"skinny stick figure"},{"startTime":1051.583,"endTime":1055.791,"body":"saying you're not good enough."},{"startTime":1056.375,"endTime":1059.791,"body":"Okay, then that is."},{"startTime":1059.791,"endTime":1062.25,"body":"Then you can have it there."},{"startTime":1062.25,"endTime":1066.041,"body":"And then you can learn how"},{"startTime":1066.041,"endTime":1067.291,"body":"to be with it"},{"startTime":1067.291,"endTime":1069.083,"body":"because usually it doesn't go away."},{"startTime":1070.125,"endTime":1072.583,"body":"And in step three you can just"},{"startTime":1073.291,"endTime":1075.291,"body":"learn not to engage with it"},{"startTime":1075.875,"endTime":1079.125,"body":"because very often in initial phase,"},{"startTime":1079.125,"endTime":1080.583,"body":"we argue with it."},{"startTime":1080.583,"endTime":1082.041,"body":"No, I am good enough."},{"startTime":1082.041,"endTime":1083.708,"body":"I did it this year and here."},{"startTime":1084.416,"endTime":1086.5,"body":"And then it always comes back with,"},{"startTime":1086.5,"endTime":1088.208,"body":"yeah, but this time,"},{"startTime":1088.208,"endTime":1089.625,"body":"or that was luck."},{"startTime":1089.625,"endTime":1090.041,"body":"Or."},{"startTime":1090.666,"endTime":1093.0,"body":"And then it talks into some anxiety,"},{"startTime":1093.0,"endTime":1094.458,"body":"we get anxious,"},{"startTime":1094.458,"endTime":1096.125,"body":"it finds a way back in."},{"startTime":1096.125,"endTime":1099.916,"body":"And the critical voice, has,"},{"startTime":1099.916,"endTime":1101.625,"body":"has dominated again."},{"startTime":1101.625,"endTime":1102.458,"body":"So those are,"},{"startTime":1103.0,"endTime":1105.583,"body":"Those are some imaginal steps that"},{"startTime":1105.583,"endTime":1108.833,"body":"are deep work that take time."},{"startTime":1108.833,"endTime":1110.875,"body":"But this figure also"},{"startTime":1110.875,"endTime":1112.291,"body":"took time to develop."},{"startTime":1112.291,"endTime":1115.5,"body":"It takes time, but, it really helps"},{"startTime":1115.5,"endTime":1118.125,"body":"to differentiate and get a better"},{"startTime":1118.125,"endTime":1119.958,"body":"relationship to the critic."},{"startTime":1119.958,"endTime":1122.25,"body":"There are, of course,"},{"startTime":1122.25,"endTime":1125.291,"body":"some easier initial steps"},{"startTime":1125.291,"endTime":1128.125,"body":"as growth mindset, et cetera,"},{"startTime":1128.125,"endTime":1129.5,"body":"but they don't do"},{"startTime":1129.5,"endTime":1131.75,"body":"the more deep fundamental operation"},{"startTime":1131.75,"endTime":1133.25,"body":"on the inner critic."},{"startTime":1135.333,"endTime":1137.541,"body":"Yeah, thanks for outlining that."},{"startTime":1137.541,"endTime":1138.708,"body":"Yeah, I'm really hearing"},{"startTime":1138.708,"endTime":1140.208,"body":"you say the word relating to"},{"startTime":1140.208,"endTime":1141.333,"body":"and relationship."},{"startTime":1142.25,"endTime":1143.25,"body":"Thinking of something being"},{"startTime":1143.25,"endTime":1145.041,"body":"the right size and having some"},{"startTime":1145.041,"endTime":1146.541,"body":"power in relation to it."},{"startTime":1146.541,"endTime":1147.041,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1147.041,"endTime":1149.625,"body":"Like power of decision with it,"},{"startTime":1150.416,"endTime":1151.791,"body":"that are all part of it."},{"startTime":1151.791,"endTime":1153.458,"body":"I want to shift a little bit"},{"startTime":1153.458,"endTime":1154.416,"body":"and think about."},{"startTime":1154.416,"endTime":1154.75,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1154.75,"endTime":1157.208,"body":"Because there's a part of evaluation,"},{"startTime":1157.791,"endTime":1160.25,"body":"people giving evaluation that is like"},{"startTime":1160.25,"endTime":1163.875,"body":"a gift, someone saying, especially"},{"startTime":1163.875,"endTime":1166.833,"body":"if we can separate the information"},{"startTime":1166.833,"endTime":1168.833,"body":"from you as a person, maybe."},{"startTime":1168.833,"endTime":1169.0,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1169.0,"endTime":1170.0,"body":"Like a soccer field."},{"startTime":1170.0,"endTime":1172.5,"body":"Like, not you're lazy,"},{"startTime":1172.5,"endTime":1174.0,"body":"but like, hey, you didn't run hard"},{"startTime":1174.0,"endTime":1175.333,"body":"enough in this moment."},{"startTime":1175.333,"endTime":1175.916,"body":"Right. Like"},{"startTime":1175.916,"endTime":1178.083,"body":"But like, sometimes that,"},{"startTime":1178.666,"endTime":1181.708,"body":"that evaluation can be great."},{"startTime":1181.708,"endTime":1182.875,"body":"It can help you improve."},{"startTime":1182.875,"endTime":1184.083,"body":"Someone's spending time"},{"startTime":1184.083,"endTime":1184.916,"body":"thinking about you,"},{"startTime":1184.916,"endTime":1185.666,"body":"kind of invested"},{"startTime":1185.666,"endTime":1187.375,"body":"in your getting better."},{"startTime":1190.0,"endTime":1190.541,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1190.541,"endTime":1192.166,"body":"So, I mean, I've had times where,"},{"startTime":1192.166,"endTime":1192.583,"body":"Where."},{"startTime":1193.375,"endTime":1194.5,"body":"Where evaluation,"},{"startTime":1195.458,"endTime":1197.5,"body":"if I'm not guarded,"},{"startTime":1197.958,"endTime":1199.0,"body":"has been just"},{"startTime":1199.0,"endTime":1201.208,"body":"enormously fun and useful."},{"startTime":1202.541,"endTime":1203.875,"body":"What do you guys think of that?"},{"startTime":1205.375,"endTime":1206.458,"body":"Yeah, absolutely."},{"startTime":1206.458,"endTime":1210.708,"body":"And the origin of the word criticism"},{"startTime":1210.708,"endTime":1211.875,"body":"is to discern,"},{"startTime":1212.541,"endTime":1214.166,"body":"from the Greek word to discern."},{"startTime":1214.166,"endTime":1216.125,"body":"So having the ability to discern."},{"startTime":1216.125,"endTime":1217.75,"body":"And I think that's really interesting"},{"startTime":1217.75,"endTime":1219.875,"body":"that someone, when they have"},{"startTime":1219.875,"endTime":1222.291,"body":"some feedback for you that"},{"startTime":1222.291,"endTime":1225.166,"body":"it asks you to really to discern."},{"startTime":1225.166,"endTime":1228.333,"body":"What about this rings true for me?"},{"startTime":1228.333,"endTime":1229.041,"body":"Or what."},{"startTime":1229.041,"endTime":1230.291,"body":"How does it resonate?"},{"startTime":1230.291,"endTime":1232.708,"body":"So someone can tell me something,"},{"startTime":1233.75,"endTime":1235.5,"body":"and it's really up to me to,"},{"startTime":1235.5,"endTime":1237.25,"body":"to make sense of it, to,"},{"startTime":1237.25,"endTime":1238.875,"body":"to feel it, but also to."},{"startTime":1238.875,"endTime":1240.541,"body":"to think and analyze."},{"startTime":1240.541,"endTime":1241.125,"body":"Like, what,"},{"startTime":1241.125,"endTime":1242.625,"body":"what can I learn from it?"},{"startTime":1242.625,"endTime":1244.041,"body":"Because then it can become"},{"startTime":1244.041,"endTime":1247.25,"body":"a critical moment in my development."},{"startTime":1249.541,"endTime":1251.958,"body":"But whether I take their story or my"},{"startTime":1251.958,"endTime":1254.375,"body":"story becomes, of course, problematic"},{"startTime":1254.375,"endTime":1256.583,"body":"when their story about who I am"},{"startTime":1256.583,"endTime":1261.75,"body":"becomes more heavy or overwrite my"},{"startTime":1261.75,"endTime":1263.875,"body":"personal story about what happened."},{"startTime":1263.875,"endTime":1270.041,"body":"But, I think criticism is really"},{"startTime":1270.041,"endTime":1271.708,"body":"important for growth."},{"startTime":1274.208,"endTime":1276.458,"body":"Yeah, it can foster"},{"startTime":1276.458,"endTime":1278.041,"body":"the growth mindset."},{"startTime":1278.041,"endTime":1281.708,"body":"And if it's, delivered in a great way,"},{"startTime":1281.708,"endTime":1283.25,"body":"it's helpful we can"},{"startTime":1283.25,"endTime":1284.833,"body":"learn to deliver criticism."},{"startTime":1285.416,"endTime":1289.083,"body":"The Dutch are a critical country"},{"startTime":1289.083,"endTime":1291.791,"body":"and borders more"},{"startTime":1291.791,"endTime":1293.416,"body":"on the negative criticism."},{"startTime":1297.583,"endTime":1298.833,"body":"And that is where the growth"},{"startTime":1298.833,"endTime":1299.958,"body":"mindset comes in."},{"startTime":1300.541,"endTime":1302.125,"body":"And that is in, especially in sport"},{"startTime":1302.125,"endTime":1304.375,"body":"within life, tremendously helpful."},{"startTime":1304.375,"endTime":1305.0,"body":"Didn't go well."},{"startTime":1305.0,"endTime":1305.958,"body":"What did I learn?"},{"startTime":1305.958,"endTime":1307.083,"body":"How can I be better?"},{"startTime":1309.166,"endTime":1309.875,"body":"Go on."},{"startTime":1310.791,"endTime":1312.5,"body":"But that also takes in a bit"},{"startTime":1312.5,"endTime":1314.541,"body":"of the inner figure that says,"},{"startTime":1314.541,"endTime":1317.166,"body":"yeah, this is a good point."},{"startTime":1317.166,"endTime":1320.541,"body":"Yes, I, agree with this and I can"},{"startTime":1320.541,"endTime":1324.375,"body":"do this better in that respect."},{"startTime":1324.375,"endTime":1326.291,"body":"I'm thinking of a situation that I saw"},{"startTime":1326.291,"endTime":1328.25,"body":"on television in which"},{"startTime":1328.25,"endTime":1330.5,"body":"the Dutch coach Koeman said,"},{"startTime":1330.5,"endTime":1332.5,"body":"I'm not going to read anymore"},{"startTime":1332.5,"endTime":1334.125,"body":"what the press writes."},{"startTime":1334.875,"endTime":1337.416,"body":"And he said, it's affecting me"},{"startTime":1337.416,"endTime":1339.958,"body":"and it doesn't help me."},{"startTime":1339.958,"endTime":1342.166,"body":"And then of course the Dutch press,"},{"startTime":1342.166,"endTime":1343.291,"body":"reacted to that."},{"startTime":1343.291,"endTime":1345.458,"body":"Like they had all these judgments,"},{"startTime":1346.458,"endTime":1348.25,"body":"that was, that..."},{"startTime":1348.25,"endTime":1351.458,"body":"So in a way they became quite defensive"},{"startTime":1351.458,"endTime":1352.875,"body":"in that criticism"},{"startTime":1352.875,"endTime":1354.625,"body":"that Koeman just said,"},{"startTime":1354.625,"endTime":1356.666,"body":"I'm not going to take in those stories"},{"startTime":1356.666,"endTime":1357.916,"body":"from the press anymore."},{"startTime":1358.75,"endTime":1361.458,"body":"But if you reflect on that"},{"startTime":1361.458,"endTime":1363.75,"body":"and discern what is being said."},{"startTime":1364.5,"endTime":1367.541,"body":"Koeman says it's not helping me"},{"startTime":1367.541,"endTime":1370.875,"body":"in any way to perform better"},{"startTime":1370.875,"endTime":1373.375,"body":"if I take in the messages"},{"startTime":1373.375,"endTime":1376.333,"body":"of the media that are quite critical."},{"startTime":1377.625,"endTime":1381.333,"body":"And if you really take that in and see"},{"startTime":1381.333,"endTime":1383.083,"body":"if that resonates, it could"},{"startTime":1383.083,"endTime":1385.166,"body":"also be a moment for the press"},{"startTime":1385.166,"endTime":1387.291,"body":"to write different kinds of stories."},{"startTime":1387.291,"endTime":1389.333,"body":"If you want your country to perform,"},{"startTime":1389.333,"endTime":1391.041,"body":"if you want your team to perform,"},{"startTime":1392.958,"endTime":1395.083,"body":"you can do something to help that."},{"startTime":1395.083,"endTime":1397.708,"body":"But to criticize in the way"},{"startTime":1397.708,"endTime":1400.375,"body":"that it's done is not helpful."},{"startTime":1400.375,"endTime":1402.75,"body":"I thought that's also criticism."},{"startTime":1402.75,"endTime":1405.041,"body":"But then in an unexpected way."},{"startTime":1407.375,"endTime":1408.458,"body":"Yeah, I'm hearing in that"},{"startTime":1408.458,"endTime":1410.541,"body":"like he set a boundary, right."},{"startTime":1411.291,"endTime":1412.583,"body":"And it sounds like it was one"},{"startTime":1412.583,"endTime":1414.0,"body":"of wisdom and self care."},{"startTime":1414.0,"endTime":1415.75,"body":"Like, you know, he probably wants"},{"startTime":1415.75,"endTime":1416.958,"body":"to perform his job well,"},{"startTime":1416.958,"endTime":1417.541,"body":"hey, this is"},{"startTime":1417.541,"endTime":1418.875,"body":"what's going to work better for me"},{"startTime":1418.875,"endTime":1421.291,"body":"if I kind of stop reading this stuff."},{"startTime":1421.291,"endTime":1422.458,"body":"And sometimes when you set"},{"startTime":1422.458,"endTime":1423.916,"body":"boundaries right, people have fits."},{"startTime":1424.625,"endTime":1425.916,"body":"You know, this couples"},{"startTime":1425.916,"endTime":1427.666,"body":"therapy or with kids."},{"startTime":1427.666,"endTime":1428.666,"body":"No, no more tv."},{"startTime":1428.666,"endTime":1431.041,"body":"Watch out over tv."},{"startTime":1431.041,"endTime":1432.5,"body":"I'm going to throw my grapes"},{"startTime":1432.5,"endTime":1433.916,"body":"on the floor and smash them."},{"startTime":1436.25,"endTime":1436.875,"body":"So yeah,"},{"startTime":1436.875,"endTime":1438.375,"body":"that's what that brings up for me."},{"startTime":1439.5,"endTime":1440.666,"body":"And I'd love to talk more"},{"startTime":1440.666,"endTime":1441.958,"body":"about boundaries because I think,"},{"startTime":1441.958,"endTime":1443.5,"body":"right, we're talking about"},{"startTime":1443.5,"endTime":1445.125,"body":"filtering in information."},{"startTime":1445.125,"endTime":1446.958,"body":"What you keep out, what you let in."},{"startTime":1448.25,"endTime":1452.125,"body":"And I really enjoy this sand play stuff"},{"startTime":1452.125,"endTime":1453.75,"body":"where I can make"},{"startTime":1453.75,"endTime":1455.666,"body":"figures kind of illustrate it."},{"startTime":1457.791,"endTime":1459.5,"body":"And I have some examples of that,"},{"startTime":1459.5,"endTime":1461.625,"body":"but that I'll happy to talk about"},{"startTime":1461.625,"endTime":1463.541,"body":"as we get further down the road."},{"startTime":1465.541,"endTime":1466.041,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1466.041,"endTime":1468.208,"body":"I think all those techniques that"},{"startTime":1468.208,"endTime":1472.208,"body":"help to externalize these inner figures,"},{"startTime":1472.208,"endTime":1473.625,"body":"these inner characters"},{"startTime":1473.625,"endTime":1475.5,"body":"and how we can relate to them"},{"startTime":1475.5,"endTime":1477.25,"body":"can be tremendously helpful."},{"startTime":1477.25,"endTime":1479.166,"body":"Sand play, drawing,"},{"startTime":1480.375,"endTime":1482.916,"body":"making some clay figure."},{"startTime":1482.916,"endTime":1487.375,"body":"It helps to what Jung would"},{"startTime":1487.375,"endTime":1489.416,"body":"call Ausheinhandersetzung"},{"startTime":1489.416,"endTime":1492.041,"body":"to what the aim was of therapy"},{"startTime":1492.041,"endTime":1494.041,"body":"to pull out of each other."},{"startTime":1494.041,"endTime":1497.166,"body":"Otherwise it's all one big mess."},{"startTime":1497.166,"endTime":1501.291,"body":"And that you have multiple little"},{"startTime":1501.291,"endTime":1503.583,"body":"messes and then you can make better."},{"startTime":1505.291,"endTime":1506.541,"body":"So with one client"},{"startTime":1506.541,"endTime":1507.75,"body":"I was working with"},{"startTime":1507.75,"endTime":1509.75,"body":"who had a new coach come in,"},{"startTime":1509.75,"endTime":1512.125,"body":"and so we talked about her"},{"startTime":1512.125,"endTime":1514.208,"body":"kind of reactions to this new coach"},{"startTime":1514.208,"endTime":1516.875,"body":"and we put up a wall and"},{"startTime":1516.875,"endTime":1518.166,"body":"she picked a figure that could"},{"startTime":1518.166,"endTime":1521.083,"body":"represent herself on one side"},{"startTime":1521.083,"endTime":1524.791,"body":"and then there was also a bridge,"},{"startTime":1524.791,"endTime":1525.666,"body":"and then put the."},{"startTime":1525.666,"endTime":1526.541,"body":"Picked a figure to represent"},{"startTime":1526.541,"endTime":1527.708,"body":"the coach on the other side."},{"startTime":1528.25,"endTime":1529.958,"body":"First thing she did was readjust."},{"startTime":1529.958,"endTime":1531.125,"body":"No more bridge."},{"startTime":1531.125,"endTime":1532.583,"body":"There's an opening but no bridge."},{"startTime":1532.583,"endTime":1534.0,"body":"I don't want that kind of access."},{"startTime":1534.0,"endTime":1534.291,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1534.291,"endTime":1535.708,"body":"That was a clear boundary."},{"startTime":1535.708,"endTime":1537.041,"body":"They decided for themselves."},{"startTime":1537.875,"endTime":1539.041,"body":"And then we started putting"},{"startTime":1539.041,"endTime":1539.833,"body":"kind of what do you need"},{"startTime":1539.833,"endTime":1541.541,"body":"on this side to support you?"},{"startTime":1541.541,"endTime":1542.416,"body":"What do you want to let"},{"startTime":1542.416,"endTime":1544.0,"body":"through and what not."},{"startTime":1544.0,"endTime":1544.958,"body":"And a lot came from."},{"startTime":1544.958,"endTime":1547.125,"body":"I want information about the sport."},{"startTime":1547.125,"endTime":1550.5,"body":"But my coach was really demoted a lot."},{"startTime":1550.5,"endTime":1553.875,"body":"A lot of expression of frustration"},{"startTime":1553.875,"endTime":1554.583,"body":"or excitement."},{"startTime":1554.583,"endTime":1555.583,"body":"Just a lot of emotion that"},{"startTime":1555.583,"endTime":1556.875,"body":"wasn't helping the athlete."},{"startTime":1556.875,"endTime":1557.708,"body":"And they said it's."},{"startTime":1557.708,"endTime":1558.5,"body":"They wanted all that"},{"startTime":1558.5,"endTime":1560.0,"body":"to stay on their side."},{"startTime":1560.0,"endTime":1561.166,"body":"And so I think for this client"},{"startTime":1561.166,"endTime":1562.291,"body":"it was really helpful"},{"startTime":1562.291,"endTime":1564.625,"body":"in just discerning again what"},{"startTime":1564.625,"endTime":1565.958,"body":"they wanted to let through."},{"startTime":1566.916,"endTime":1568.041,"body":"Feeling that they could kind"},{"startTime":1568.041,"endTime":1569.375,"body":"of decide that themselves."},{"startTime":1569.375,"endTime":1570.958,"body":"Like, here's my wall,"},{"startTime":1570.958,"endTime":1573.125,"body":"here's what makes me feel safe."},{"startTime":1573.125,"endTime":1575.0,"body":"And then kind of continue"},{"startTime":1575.0,"endTime":1576.75,"body":"in the sport environment in that way."},{"startTime":1578.0,"endTime":1578.625,"body":"Beautiful."},{"startTime":1578.625,"endTime":1579.041,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":1580.083,"endTime":1581.791,"body":"I like that example because"},{"startTime":1581.791,"endTime":1584.333,"body":"it's really that discernment between"},{"startTime":1584.333,"endTime":1585.791,"body":"what is really mine,"},{"startTime":1586.291,"endTime":1587.916,"body":"and what belongs to the other."},{"startTime":1587.916,"endTime":1589.958,"body":"And if it comes with, I don't know,"},{"startTime":1589.958,"endTime":1592.333,"body":"with intensity and aggression,"},{"startTime":1592.333,"endTime":1594.75,"body":"like you were saying, like yeah."},{"startTime":1594.75,"endTime":1594.916,"body":"Is."},{"startTime":1594.916,"endTime":1596.958,"body":"Is that really about Me and my"},{"startTime":1596.958,"endTime":1599.125,"body":"performance or is that somehow"},{"startTime":1599.125,"endTime":1600.791,"body":"related to who you are?"},{"startTime":1600.791,"endTime":1601.083,"body":"Like"},{"startTime":1601.083,"endTime":1602.791,"body":"And being able to make that"},{"startTime":1602.791,"endTime":1605.291,"body":"distinction is quite important"},{"startTime":1605.291,"endTime":1607.041,"body":"in the process because otherwise,"},{"startTime":1607.041,"endTime":1608.458,"body":"oh, someone is super intense."},{"startTime":1608.458,"endTime":1610.083,"body":"You take it out all about you."},{"startTime":1611.458,"endTime":1613.208,"body":"You're doing way too much inner work"},{"startTime":1614.0,"endTime":1614.708,"body":"for the other."},{"startTime":1615.333,"endTime":1616.0,"body":"I mean I think some"},{"startTime":1616.0,"endTime":1617.166,"body":"of this is developmental."},{"startTime":1617.166,"endTime":1617.416,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1617.416,"endTime":1618.208,"body":"Some people are going"},{"startTime":1618.208,"endTime":1618.958,"body":"to be better at it."},{"startTime":1618.958,"endTime":1620.291,"body":"But like there's an aspect"},{"startTime":1620.916,"endTime":1622.916,"body":"as our mind and our brains grow"},{"startTime":1623.625,"endTime":1625.875,"body":"again being able to differentiate"},{"startTime":1627.416,"endTime":1628.833,"body":"ourselves from other people."},{"startTime":1630.708,"endTime":1632.125,"body":"You know, what's personal versus"},{"startTime":1632.125,"endTime":1633.333,"body":"what's more about me doing."},{"startTime":1634.666,"endTime":1636.5,"body":"So when I work and I work with a"},{"startTime":1636.5,"endTime":1638.25,"body":"lot of teenagers, I could see"},{"startTime":1638.25,"endTime":1639.541,"body":"this in people in different kind"},{"startTime":1639.541,"endTime":1642.583,"body":"of places along kind of pulling"},{"startTime":1642.583,"endTime":1643.583,"body":"these parts,"},{"startTime":1643.583,"endTime":1645.375,"body":"pulling these parts apart"},{"startTime":1645.375,"endTime":1647.333,"body":"and getting to know them better."},{"startTime":1647.333,"endTime":1647.666,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1647.666,"endTime":1649.083,"body":"And I think it also relates"},{"startTime":1649.083,"endTime":1650.125,"body":"to self belief."},{"startTime":1650.125,"endTime":1650.833,"body":"You know, in,"},{"startTime":1650.833,"endTime":1653.041,"body":"in a previous episode we talked"},{"startTime":1653.041,"endTime":1654.875,"body":"about self belief."},{"startTime":1654.875,"endTime":1657.416,"body":"And if you have self belief,"},{"startTime":1657.416,"endTime":1659.083,"body":"you give yourself permission to try things."},{"startTime":1660.333,"endTime":1662.916,"body":"Then when someone has criticism"},{"startTime":1662.916,"endTime":1664.25,"body":"or tells you what you can"},{"startTime":1664.25,"endTime":1665.541,"body":"do differently,"},{"startTime":1665.541,"endTime":1668.166,"body":"you can really see it as their story."},{"startTime":1668.166,"endTime":1669.666,"body":"You give yourself permission"},{"startTime":1669.666,"endTime":1671.708,"body":"and you take the learnings from it."},{"startTime":1672.416,"endTime":1674.583,"body":"But without that self belief"},{"startTime":1674.583,"endTime":1676.083,"body":"it becomes quite difficult."},{"startTime":1676.083,"endTime":1678.166,"body":"It's almost like there's no center,"},{"startTime":1679.0,"endTime":1680.833,"body":"to fall back on or."},{"startTime":1680.833,"endTime":1682.75,"body":"I think you said that John,"},{"startTime":1682.75,"endTime":1684.625,"body":"that there needs to be a weight"},{"startTime":1684.625,"endTime":1687.875,"body":"inside of you or there needs to"},{"startTime":1687.875,"endTime":1691.291,"body":"be a power inside of you that can,"},{"startTime":1691.291,"endTime":1692.708,"body":"can encounter"},{"startTime":1692.708,"endTime":1695.75,"body":"the power of the inner figure"},{"startTime":1695.75,"endTime":1698.083,"body":"or the outer figure or even worse"},{"startTime":1698.083,"endTime":1700.625,"body":"when they're falling together."},{"startTime":1700.625,"endTime":1702.875,"body":"Then you need to separate"},{"startTime":1702.875,"endTime":1704.833,"body":"what's really my inner critic"},{"startTime":1704.833,"endTime":1706.208,"body":"and what's the outer critic."},{"startTime":1706.208,"endTime":1708.708,"body":"And are they saying exactly the same?"},{"startTime":1708.708,"endTime":1710.333,"body":"And most likely they are not."},{"startTime":1713.041,"endTime":1713.5,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1713.5,"endTime":1714.708,"body":"That is the experience."},{"startTime":1716.333,"endTime":1717.458,"body":"In what way are they"},{"startTime":1717.458,"endTime":1718.625,"body":"not saying the same?"},{"startTime":1720.5,"endTime":1724.458,"body":"Well, in the example of a football player"},{"startTime":1724.458,"endTime":1728.833,"body":"like you're going too slow or"},{"startTime":1728.833,"endTime":1731.708,"body":"you don't notice your teammates,"},{"startTime":1732.833,"endTime":1735.708,"body":"someone might blame themselves."},{"startTime":1735.708,"endTime":1738.541,"body":"As if I'm not worthy, I'm not good"},{"startTime":1738.541,"endTime":1742.75,"body":"enough or I'm not welcome."},{"startTime":1742.75,"endTime":1744.875,"body":"Like a message or conclusion gets"},{"startTime":1744.875,"endTime":1746.5,"body":"drawn, a really big one"},{"startTime":1746.5,"endTime":1748.333,"body":"which is really related to history"},{"startTime":1749.291,"endTime":1751.375,"body":"and the child's perspective."},{"startTime":1751.958,"endTime":1752.583,"body":"And nothing"},{"startTime":1752.583,"endTime":1754.333,"body":"what the actual coach said."},{"startTime":1755.041,"endTime":1755.75,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1756.25,"endTime":1757.041,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1758.666,"endTime":1762.5,"body":"If we continue with this figure"},{"startTime":1762.5,"endTime":1763.416,"body":"metaphor."},{"startTime":1763.416,"endTime":1768.166,"body":"It has also to do with building up"},{"startTime":1768.166,"endTime":1770.833,"body":"an stronger foundation,"},{"startTime":1770.833,"endTime":1775.041,"body":"gratitude practices are notoriously"},{"startTime":1775.041,"endTime":1776.166,"body":"helpful for that."},{"startTime":1776.916,"endTime":1779.0,"body":"And then you are in a better place"},{"startTime":1779.0,"endTime":1782.041,"body":"to discern what to take in"},{"startTime":1782.041,"endTime":1783.916,"body":"and what not to take in"},{"startTime":1784.916,"endTime":1787.208,"body":"and where your role now authority is."},{"startTime":1789.291,"endTime":1789.666,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1789.666,"endTime":1790.666,"body":"And I was thinking about that."},{"startTime":1790.666,"endTime":1792.291,"body":"I'd love to kind of zoom in on this"},{"startTime":1792.291,"endTime":1794.666,"body":"a little bit because I'm not perfect"},{"startTime":1794.666,"endTime":1795.875,"body":"sealing with authorities"},{"startTime":1795.875,"endTime":1797.291,"body":"still a work in progress."},{"startTime":1798.0,"endTime":1801.333,"body":"And I think there's some things that"},{"startTime":1801.333,"endTime":1803.5,"body":"I've noticed like I guess just"},{"startTime":1803.5,"endTime":1806.375,"body":"noticing myself sometimes"},{"startTime":1806.375,"endTime":1809.375,"body":"when I might like cower or pull back"},{"startTime":1809.375,"endTime":1811.166,"body":"and I'll be able to kind of notice it"},{"startTime":1811.166,"endTime":1812.25,"body":"and just still be"},{"startTime":1812.25,"endTime":1814.041,"body":"in relationship with myself"},{"startTime":1814.083,"endTime":1816.583,"body":"and relationship with the other person"},{"startTime":1816.583,"endTime":1818.0,"body":"and maybe seeing what,"},{"startTime":1818.0,"endTime":1819.916,"body":"what perspective or what part of me"},{"startTime":1819.916,"endTime":1821.375,"body":"is coming up with some ideas."},{"startTime":1822.291,"endTime":1823.458,"body":"So there's like a, there's kind"},{"startTime":1823.458,"endTime":1825.833,"body":"of like a noticing of reaction"},{"startTime":1825.833,"endTime":1827.75,"body":"in relation to authority"},{"startTime":1827.75,"endTime":1828.916,"body":"that I feel like I've gotten"},{"startTime":1828.916,"endTime":1831.625,"body":"better at dealing with."},{"startTime":1833.708,"endTime":1834.041,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1834.041,"endTime":1835.416,"body":"Does that ring true for you"},{"startTime":1835.416,"endTime":1837.916,"body":"in terms of how, how do people notice"},{"startTime":1837.916,"endTime":1840.333,"body":"development in this area of"},{"startTime":1840.333,"endTime":1843.333,"body":"like hearing feedback"},{"startTime":1843.333,"endTime":1845.666,"body":"and working through it,"},{"startTime":1845.666,"endTime":1846.583,"body":"in better ways?"},{"startTime":1847.208,"endTime":1847.875,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1847.875,"endTime":1850.333,"body":"Well luckily you get, you can"},{"startTime":1850.333,"endTime":1852.25,"body":"you learn to deal better with it."},{"startTime":1852.25,"endTime":1853.541,"body":"You know, so"},{"startTime":1853.541,"endTime":1855.458,"body":"so many different forms of feedback."},{"startTime":1856.333,"endTime":1857.5,"body":"I know that early on"},{"startTime":1857.5,"endTime":1859.708,"body":"when I did some public talks,"},{"startTime":1859.708,"endTime":1862.291,"body":"I was much more triggered"},{"startTime":1862.291,"endTime":1864.083,"body":"by people leaving."},{"startTime":1864.666,"endTime":1867.125,"body":"And now I just know how there's always"},{"startTime":1867.125,"endTime":1870.916,"body":"someone that leaves for some reason."},{"startTime":1870.916,"endTime":1872.708,"body":"But in the beginning I would think"},{"startTime":1872.708,"endTime":1875.041,"body":"oh my gosh, I don't deliver"},{"startTime":1875.041,"endTime":1877.416,"body":"a good enough talk"},{"startTime":1877.416,"endTime":1881.125,"body":"or people respond to elements in the talk"},{"startTime":1881.125,"endTime":1882.916,"body":"that I didn't say"},{"startTime":1882.916,"endTime":1885.791,"body":"I've seen that also enough so"},{"startTime":1885.791,"endTime":1887.708,"body":"they have a whole response"},{"startTime":1887.708,"endTime":1890.5,"body":"that has nothing to do with the talk."},{"startTime":1890.5,"endTime":1891.875,"body":"In the beginning I found that"},{"startTime":1891.875,"endTime":1895.041,"body":"frustrating and now I just know"},{"startTime":1895.041,"endTime":1897.791,"body":"that happens and how that"},{"startTime":1899.083,"endTime":1901.458,"body":"especially if it doesn't touch"},{"startTime":1901.458,"endTime":1903.125,"body":"something internally, it's"},{"startTime":1903.125,"endTime":1905.958,"body":"just, yeah, it's part of the game."},{"startTime":1906.916,"endTime":1910.791,"body":"And I think just to learn"},{"startTime":1910.791,"endTime":1912.916,"body":"that inner critic, pattern,"},{"startTime":1913.875,"endTime":1915.416,"body":"everything that comes close to"},{"startTime":1915.416,"endTime":1917.25,"body":"the inner critic will be amplified."},{"startTime":1917.875,"endTime":1918.291,"body":"Probably."},{"startTime":1918.291,"endTime":1921.25,"body":"Also the time it takes to recover from"},{"startTime":1921.25,"endTime":1923.458,"body":"the feedback is an indication whether"},{"startTime":1923.458,"endTime":1925.375,"body":"you're able to handle with it better."},{"startTime":1926.125,"endTime":1927.875,"body":"You know, when I was young"},{"startTime":1927.875,"endTime":1929.791,"body":"in my career and I got feedback"},{"startTime":1929.791,"endTime":1931.958,"body":"on reports I had to write,"},{"startTime":1931.958,"endTime":1934.208,"body":"it was ego crushing really."},{"startTime":1934.208,"endTime":1936.625,"body":"I felt like it was such an attack"},{"startTime":1936.625,"endTime":1937.875,"body":"on who I was."},{"startTime":1937.875,"endTime":1940.666,"body":"And but I could also see that"},{"startTime":1940.666,"endTime":1941.958,"body":"my writing skills"},{"startTime":1941.958,"endTime":1943.125,"body":"at the time weren't great."},{"startTime":1943.125,"endTime":1944.083,"body":"So I was really"},{"startTime":1944.083,"endTime":1945.375,"body":"in the learning process."},{"startTime":1946.791,"endTime":1948.583,"body":"And these days I think"},{"startTime":1948.583,"endTime":1950.958,"body":"generally I'm a little bit better"},{"startTime":1950.958,"endTime":1953.416,"body":"in dealing with criticism."},{"startTime":1953.416,"endTime":1956.083,"body":"I've got the capacity to discern"},{"startTime":1956.083,"endTime":1960.791,"body":"a little bit more or if it stings,"},{"startTime":1961.375,"endTime":1963.375,"body":"I sit with it and I look at it."},{"startTime":1963.375,"endTime":1964.0,"body":"What is it?"},{"startTime":1964.0,"endTime":1965.708,"body":"Whereas a young person,"},{"startTime":1965.708,"endTime":1968.583,"body":"I was more moving away from it."},{"startTime":1968.583,"endTime":1971.958,"body":"Are very defensive and I think"},{"startTime":1971.958,"endTime":1973.333,"body":"you can sometimes see this in,"},{"startTime":1973.333,"endTime":1974.708,"body":"in soccer players as well."},{"startTime":1974.708,"endTime":1976.791,"body":"At the World cup like Ronaldo gets"},{"startTime":1976.791,"endTime":1978.541,"body":"a lot of criticism, doesn't he?"},{"startTime":1978.541,"endTime":1981.708,"body":"Like you need to be able to."},{"startTime":1981.708,"endTime":1983.75,"body":"Or he needs to be able to deal with that"},{"startTime":1983.75,"endTime":1987.416,"body":"because there's a lot coming his way"},{"startTime":1987.416,"endTime":1989.708,"body":"and he now is older"},{"startTime":1989.708,"endTime":1991.25,"body":"but I don't know"},{"startTime":1991.25,"endTime":1993.083,"body":"I've not tracked him in"},{"startTime":1993.083,"endTime":1994.875,"body":"good enough over the years."},{"startTime":1994.875,"endTime":1997.25,"body":"If over the years he has the capacity"},{"startTime":1997.25,"endTime":1999.375,"body":"to deal with it better than before."},{"startTime":2002.875,"endTime":2006.541,"body":"Well, the problem that he has,"},{"startTime":2006.541,"endTime":2007.708,"body":"for example, is that,"},{"startTime":2007.708,"endTime":2008.666,"body":"that currently people"},{"startTime":2008.666,"endTime":2009.666,"body":"say he's too old."},{"startTime":2011.041,"endTime":2013.041,"body":"And is that true or not?"},{"startTime":2013.75,"endTime":2019.041,"body":"He thinks it's not, but it's that,"},{"startTime":2020.833,"endTime":2022.083,"body":"me sitting here, I don't know,"},{"startTime":2022.083,"endTime":2024.583,"body":"I don't see him from close enough."},{"startTime":2025.166,"endTime":2028.208,"body":"But I wonder if he's too old"},{"startTime":2029.083,"endTime":2031.5,"body":"and it can do his defensive tasks"},{"startTime":2031.5,"endTime":2033.166,"body":"and be part of the team."},{"startTime":2033.166,"endTime":2033.791,"body":"So he has,"},{"startTime":2033.791,"endTime":2035.333,"body":"he has a difficult one there."},{"startTime":2036.208,"endTime":2037.0,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2037.0,"endTime":2038.875,"body":"Well, that example of that criticism."},{"startTime":2038.875,"endTime":2039.125,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2039.125,"endTime":2039.791,"body":"You're too old."},{"startTime":2040.375,"endTime":2042.166,"body":"That's not a workable criticism."},{"startTime":2042.166,"endTime":2043.5,"body":"Like you can't do anything about it."},{"startTime":2043.5,"endTime":2045.083,"body":"And it's personal"},{"startTime":2045.083,"endTime":2045.875,"body":"about his age."},{"startTime":2045.875,"endTime":2046.291,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2046.958,"endTime":2048.541,"body":"Like, hey, he's not able to run"},{"startTime":2048.541,"endTime":2049.666,"body":"or he doesn't run enough."},{"startTime":2049.666,"endTime":2051.208,"body":"That would be kind of objective,"},{"startTime":2051.208,"endTime":2054.333,"body":"or he doesn't defend, and,"},{"startTime":2054.333,"endTime":2055.833,"body":"or he's not quick enough."},{"startTime":2056.5,"endTime":2057.958,"body":"Like those would be things that"},{"startTime":2057.958,"endTime":2059.333,"body":"you could kind of debate"},{"startTime":2059.375,"endTime":2060.375,"body":"a little bit more"},{"startTime":2060.375,"endTime":2061.75,"body":"and are more workable"},{"startTime":2061.75,"endTime":2064.333,"body":"in some way for the athlete."},{"startTime":2065.625,"endTime":2066.166,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2066.166,"endTime":2068.0,"body":"So it's what in,"},{"startTime":2068.5,"endTime":2070.5,"body":"in that is also."},{"startTime":2070.5,"endTime":2071.875,"body":"It's not only how do we deal"},{"startTime":2071.875,"endTime":2073.458,"body":"with criticism, how do we,"},{"startTime":2074.166,"endTime":2075.25,"body":"well, how do we,"},{"startTime":2075.25,"endTime":2077.583,"body":"what kind of self talk do we have?"},{"startTime":2077.583,"endTime":2079.25,"body":"You can work on that and especially"},{"startTime":2079.25,"endTime":2080.416,"body":"through the gratitude."},{"startTime":2080.416,"endTime":2081.666,"body":"But also how do you,"},{"startTime":2081.666,"endTime":2083.041,"body":"how do you work with others"},{"startTime":2084.458,"endTime":2088.208,"body":"and how do you deliver criticism?"},{"startTime":2088.208,"endTime":2090.166,"body":"And also what is your culture?"},{"startTime":2090.166,"endTime":2092.541,"body":"The Dutch culture is as you know,"},{"startTime":2092.541,"endTime":2093.583,"body":"Akka-Jeanne and John."},{"startTime":2093.583,"endTime":2094.791,"body":"It's super direct."},{"startTime":2095.916,"endTime":2098.375,"body":"And a lot of other cultures"},{"startTime":2098.375,"endTime":2099.666,"body":"are horrified by,"},{"startTime":2101.166,"endTime":2103.666,"body":"but by that kind of directness."},{"startTime":2104.708,"endTime":2105.416,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2105.416,"endTime":2106.416,"body":"Here in America,"},{"startTime":2106.416,"endTime":2108.208,"body":"I learned something when I came back"},{"startTime":2108.208,"endTime":2109.291,"body":"after being in Holland."},{"startTime":2109.291,"endTime":2110.083,"body":"Something called"},{"startTime":2110.083,"endTime":2111.25,"body":"the compliment sandwich,"},{"startTime":2111.25,"endTime":2112.291,"body":"which I don't think"},{"startTime":2112.291,"endTime":2113.416,"body":"the Dutch knew about."},{"startTime":2113.416,"endTime":2116.208,"body":"But hey, you know, you really,"},{"startTime":2116.208,"endTime":2117.666,"body":"you really tracked back."},{"startTime":2117.666,"endTime":2119.583,"body":"Well, you know, next time try,"},{"startTime":2120.625,"endTime":2122.083,"body":"try to also get on the left side"},{"startTime":2122.083,"endTime":2123.708,"body":"of your defender and,"},{"startTime":2123.708,"endTime":2125.416,"body":"and you also finish the game strong."},{"startTime":2125.416,"endTime":2125.708,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2125.708,"endTime":2127.375,"body":"Or it's two compliments in the middle"},{"startTime":2127.375,"endTime":2129.541,"body":"is a little bit of the feedback."},{"startTime":2130.25,"endTime":2132.25,"body":"But in Holland it was very direct."},{"startTime":2132.25,"endTime":2133.958,"body":"Do this, don't do that."},{"startTime":2133.958,"endTime":2135.208,"body":"Straight to the middle."},{"startTime":2136.416,"endTime":2136.875,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2136.875,"endTime":2137.916,"body":"There's some pride in that,"},{"startTime":2137.916,"endTime":2139.375,"body":"I believe, kind of in your culture."},{"startTime":2139.375,"endTime":2139.666,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2139.666,"endTime":2142.083,"body":"With like people doing that, like,"},{"startTime":2142.083,"endTime":2144.25,"body":"no nonsense kind of attitude."},{"startTime":2145.958,"endTime":2146.333,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2146.333,"endTime":2148.666,"body":"And I think it hurts even more,"},{"startTime":2149.333,"endTime":2151.0,"body":"when approval somehow"},{"startTime":2151.0,"endTime":2152.583,"body":"is really important to you."},{"startTime":2152.583,"endTime":2154.708,"body":"If being liked or being,"},{"startTime":2154.708,"endTime":2156.666,"body":"being seen or approved by others"},{"startTime":2156.666,"endTime":2158.75,"body":"and then you get criticism,"},{"startTime":2158.75,"endTime":2160.791,"body":"it really feels like an attack."},{"startTime":2161.625,"endTime":2164.875,"body":"But if approval is less"},{"startTime":2164.875,"endTime":2167.25,"body":"or you're depending less on approval,"},{"startTime":2167.25,"endTime":2170.541,"body":"but really doing what you approve of."},{"startTime":2170.541,"endTime":2173.833,"body":"So having that inner authority, that,"},{"startTime":2173.833,"endTime":2177.75,"body":"That builds a little bit of muscle."},{"startTime":2177.75,"endTime":2179.916,"body":"So when someone comes quite"},{"startTime":2179.916,"endTime":2181.833,"body":"directly and you have that muscle."},{"startTime":2183.708,"endTime":2184.583,"body":"Yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":2184.583,"endTime":2186.25,"body":"I'm doing it because I like it."},{"startTime":2186.25,"endTime":2187.375,"body":"You know, for."},{"startTime":2187.375,"endTime":2189.708,"body":"Ideally for Ronaldo, it's, hey,"},{"startTime":2189.708,"endTime":2191.125,"body":"I'm here because I like it."},{"startTime":2191.666,"endTime":2193.083,"body":"And whether you think,"},{"startTime":2193.083,"endTime":2195.125,"body":"I'm too old, that's up to you."},{"startTime":2195.125,"endTime":2197.375,"body":"But as long as the coach, says,"},{"startTime":2197.375,"endTime":2199.291,"body":"that I'm welcome and I get to play,"},{"startTime":2199.916,"endTime":2201.041,"body":"that's what counts."},{"startTime":2202.083,"endTime":2202.625,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2202.625,"endTime":2203.916,"body":"And that doesn't."},{"startTime":2203.916,"endTime":2204.583,"body":"That is true."},{"startTime":2204.583,"endTime":2206.333,"body":"And it doesn't count for Ronaldo."},{"startTime":2206.333,"endTime":2208.25,"body":"Ronaldo wants to be the best."},{"startTime":2208.25,"endTime":2211.5,"body":"So Ronaldo has a complex inner,"},{"startTime":2211.5,"endTime":2214.291,"body":"inner critic that you can see that"},{"startTime":2214.291,"endTime":2216.125,"body":"brought him very far, but that also"},{"startTime":2216.125,"endTime":2220.291,"body":"makes him accessible, open to,"},{"startTime":2220.291,"endTime":2223.333,"body":"external criticism because he lives,"},{"startTime":2223.333,"endTime":2227.333,"body":"somewhat from the external validation."},{"startTime":2228.916,"endTime":2230.666,"body":"And I do think, that"},{"startTime":2230.666,"endTime":2233.166,"body":"the other point you made is"},{"startTime":2233.166,"endTime":2235.416,"body":"don't argue with that inner critic."},{"startTime":2236.291,"endTime":2238.166,"body":"You moved in that way of talking"},{"startTime":2238.166,"endTime":2239.958,"body":"to the critic away from"},{"startTime":2239.958,"endTime":2242.166,"body":"proving that the inner critic"},{"startTime":2242.166,"endTime":2244.375,"body":"is wrong to shifting."},{"startTime":2244.375,"endTime":2246.458,"body":"I do this because I enjoy it."},{"startTime":2247.0,"endTime":2249.666,"body":"I want to be the best me."},{"startTime":2249.666,"endTime":2252.625,"body":"The inner critic has less ability"},{"startTime":2252.625,"endTime":2256.041,"body":"to attack that it can attack."},{"startTime":2256.041,"endTime":2258.833,"body":"You're too old or you have a weird"},{"startTime":2258.833,"endTime":2260.208,"body":"nose, or whatever."},{"startTime":2261.666,"endTime":2264.208,"body":"But it cannot attack things"},{"startTime":2264.208,"endTime":2265.75,"body":"that you do because"},{"startTime":2265.75,"endTime":2267.5,"body":"you enjoy doing them."},{"startTime":2268.208,"endTime":2269.333,"body":"So you're."},{"startTime":2269.333,"endTime":2271.791,"body":"The big danger is arguing"},{"startTime":2271.791,"endTime":2273.5,"body":"with the inner critic."},{"startTime":2273.5,"endTime":2275.208,"body":"So when you catch yourself"},{"startTime":2275.208,"endTime":2277.416,"body":"arguing with the inner critic,"},{"startTime":2277.416,"endTime":2279.416,"body":"shift the conversation"},{"startTime":2279.416,"endTime":2281.041,"body":"out of that playing field."},{"startTime":2282.958,"endTime":2283.416,"body":"Nice."},{"startTime":2284.625,"endTime":2285.0,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2285.0,"endTime":2287.25,"body":"And adding to that around"},{"startTime":2287.25,"endTime":2288.708,"body":"like soccer culture."},{"startTime":2289.333,"endTime":2289.625,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2289.625,"endTime":2290.666,"body":"There's this kind of idea"},{"startTime":2290.666,"endTime":2292.875,"body":"of being invulnerable."},{"startTime":2292.875,"endTime":2295.875,"body":"Like, I can't show any weakness."},{"startTime":2295.875,"endTime":2297.166,"body":"I don't have any weakness."},{"startTime":2297.166,"endTime":2297.458,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2297.458,"endTime":2300.0,"body":"And I think we're all talking about."},{"startTime":2300.0,"endTime":2301.041,"body":"No, like we're all going"},{"startTime":2301.041,"endTime":2302.083,"body":"to have inner critics."},{"startTime":2302.708,"endTime":2304.125,"body":"Like, and we're going to be good at"},{"startTime":2304.125,"endTime":2305.583,"body":"some things and not good at others."},{"startTime":2305.583,"endTime":2306.541,"body":"Like that's,"},{"startTime":2306.541,"endTime":2309.041,"body":"that's a truer version of reality."},{"startTime":2309.041,"endTime":2309.375,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2309.375,"endTime":2311.25,"body":"And maybe in talking about Ronaldo,"},{"startTime":2311.25,"endTime":2312.416,"body":"you're talking about a defensive"},{"startTime":2312.416,"endTime":2315.458,"body":"structure that doesn't really allow"},{"startTime":2315.458,"endTime":2316.583,"body":"for some of that kind"},{"startTime":2316.583,"endTime":2318.083,"body":"of vulnerability to be present."},{"startTime":2318.541,"endTime":2322.375,"body":"And Ronaldo had, at the disadvantage"},{"startTime":2322.375,"endTime":2324.125,"body":"that, he was so good."},{"startTime":2324.791,"endTime":2330.791,"body":"So the structure never got torn down."},{"startTime":2330.791,"endTime":2334.375,"body":"Maybe even his internal structure"},{"startTime":2334.375,"endTime":2335.583,"body":"allowed him to become"},{"startTime":2336.958,"endTime":2338.625,"body":"among the world's best players."},{"startTime":2340.875,"endTime":2342.75,"body":"Next to inherent talent."},{"startTime":2342.75,"endTime":2344.458,"body":"But, yeah."},{"startTime":2345.041,"endTime":2349.375,"body":"His drive is partly infused"},{"startTime":2349.375,"endTime":2351.5,"body":"by an inner critic."},{"startTime":2351.5,"endTime":2353.666,"body":"Yeah, I remember being young"},{"startTime":2353.666,"endTime":2355.458,"body":"and imagining Michael Jordan."},{"startTime":2355.458,"endTime":2357.291,"body":"He was like the sports hero."},{"startTime":2357.291,"endTime":2358.791,"body":"But I didn't imagine him just"},{"startTime":2358.791,"endTime":2360.291,"body":"as like, an amazing athlete."},{"startTime":2360.291,"endTime":2362.5,"body":"He was like, he could do everything"},{"startTime":2362.5,"endTime":2363.375,"body":"that was kind of right."},{"startTime":2363.375,"endTime":2365.416,"body":"Like a younger brain kind"},{"startTime":2365.416,"endTime":2366.291,"body":"of puts it all together."},{"startTime":2366.291,"endTime":2367.458,"body":"We're talking about sifting"},{"startTime":2367.458,"endTime":2368.583,"body":"three things out,"},{"startTime":2368.583,"endTime":2369.791,"body":"and that was something I learned."},{"startTime":2369.791,"endTime":2371.166,"body":"Like being in a locker room with"},{"startTime":2371.166,"endTime":2372.375,"body":"a bunch of professional athletes."},{"startTime":2372.375,"endTime":2375.083,"body":"It's like, you know, sometimes from"},{"startTime":2375.083,"endTime":2376.125,"body":"the outside, there's this image"},{"startTime":2376.125,"endTime":2377.166,"body":"of like, wow, they're amazing."},{"startTime":2377.166,"endTime":2378.333,"body":"And you just think they're this like,"},{"startTime":2378.333,"endTime":2380.083,"body":"great person who's got it together."},{"startTime":2380.083,"endTime":2381.0,"body":"And you're in locker room,"},{"startTime":2381.0,"endTime":2381.75,"body":"you're like, oh, these."},{"startTime":2381.75,"endTime":2384.291,"body":"These guys are phenomenal"},{"startTime":2384.291,"endTime":2385.083,"body":"at doing their thing."},{"startTime":2385.083,"endTime":2386.375,"body":"But there's a lot of, like,"},{"startTime":2386.375,"endTime":2387.916,"body":"other issues happening"},{"startTime":2387.916,"endTime":2389.208,"body":"in different ways,"},{"startTime":2389.208,"endTime":2390.333,"body":"and they're struggling just"},{"startTime":2390.333,"endTime":2391.625,"body":"like kind of all of us people."},{"startTime":2392.791,"endTime":2393.958,"body":"So that felt like an important"},{"startTime":2393.958,"endTime":2395.791,"body":"kind of reality."},{"startTime":2398.25,"endTime":2400.833,"body":"Reality's medicinal kind of check,"},{"startTime":2402.5,"endTime":2403.125,"body":"for me."},{"startTime":2403.125,"endTime":2408.166,"body":"And yeah, the human qualities out of"},{"startTime":2408.166,"endTime":2410.916,"body":"those mythological figures or almost"},{"startTime":2410.916,"endTime":2412.833,"body":"like the gods in the locker room."},{"startTime":2412.833,"endTime":2414.208,"body":"Like, oh, there's the humans"},{"startTime":2414.208,"endTime":2415.791,"body":"in the locker room, and then"},{"startTime":2415.791,"endTime":2418.041,"body":"I can belong to that human family."},{"startTime":2419.291,"endTime":2420.5,"body":"That feels better."},{"startTime":2421.833,"endTime":2422.208,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2422.208,"endTime":2427.833,"body":"There's a halo effect to our heroes"},{"startTime":2427.833,"endTime":2429.916,"body":"or people that have talent."},{"startTime":2431.208,"endTime":2433.375,"body":"The quality is being extrapolated,"},{"startTime":2436.083,"endTime":2438.25,"body":"where the quality is just vertical."},{"startTime":2440.25,"endTime":2442.666,"body":"Yeah, no, that's a good idea."},{"startTime":2442.666,"endTime":2442.916,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2442.916,"endTime":2444.208,"body":"There's quality in one direction,"},{"startTime":2444.208,"endTime":2445.5,"body":"but it doesn't mean it goes"},{"startTime":2445.5,"endTime":2448.333,"body":"across different domains in ways."},{"startTime":2448.458,"endTime":2449.875,"body":"So when someone is,"},{"startTime":2449.875,"endTime":2451.708,"body":"listening to this thinking."},{"startTime":2451.708,"endTime":2452.083,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2452.083,"endTime":2454.333,"body":"Well, now that we're talking about it,"},{"startTime":2454.333,"endTime":2456.5,"body":"I am dealing with this piece"},{"startTime":2456.5,"endTime":2456.875,"body":"of criticism."},{"startTime":2457.666,"endTime":2461.041,"body":"I got, what kind of advice would"},{"startTime":2461.041,"endTime":2461.958,"body":"you give?"},{"startTime":2461.958,"endTime":2463.625,"body":"Well, I think we will"},{"startTime":2463.625,"endTime":2464.5,"body":"have to summarize."},{"startTime":2464.5,"endTime":2465.75,"body":"We got two things."},{"startTime":2465.75,"endTime":2468.083,"body":"Bit is one is the."},{"startTime":2468.083,"endTime":2470.208,"body":"The have a learning mindset"},{"startTime":2470.208,"endTime":2472.291,"body":"versus a fixed mindset."},{"startTime":2472.291,"endTime":2473.625,"body":"What can I learn from this?"},{"startTime":2473.625,"endTime":2474.791,"body":"Is there some truth to it?"},{"startTime":2474.791,"endTime":2475.916,"body":"Can I learn from it?"},{"startTime":2477.75,"endTime":2479.166,"body":"And you can improve."},{"startTime":2479.916,"endTime":2482.458,"body":"And the other is, the more imaginal,"},{"startTime":2482.458,"endTime":2484.875,"body":"the depth perspective by which"},{"startTime":2484.875,"endTime":2487.833,"body":"we create an external situation,"},{"startTime":2487.833,"endTime":2489.583,"body":"whether it's a send play character"},{"startTime":2489.583,"endTime":2491.041,"body":"or an imaginal character."},{"startTime":2491.041,"endTime":2493.916,"body":"And we learn about the internal critic"},{"startTime":2494.625,"endTime":2496.583,"body":"because we over identify with it."},{"startTime":2496.583,"endTime":2497.875,"body":"And then we just know"},{"startTime":2497.875,"endTime":2500.625,"body":"there's some figure walking around in us"},{"startTime":2500.625,"endTime":2504.875,"body":"that says you're just rambling along,"},{"startTime":2504.875,"endTime":2506.375,"body":"you're not making sense,"},{"startTime":2507.625,"endTime":2509.041,"body":"whatever it says."},{"startTime":2509.916,"endTime":2513.583,"body":"And then you can just, find ways"},{"startTime":2513.583,"endTime":2517.125,"body":"over time not to believe it."},{"startTime":2518.541,"endTime":2519.916,"body":"Initially it's like, oh,"},{"startTime":2519.916,"endTime":2520.958,"body":"there you are again."},{"startTime":2522.25,"endTime":2523.208,"body":"There you are again."},{"startTime":2526.625,"endTime":2529.5,"body":"Don't engage on the content level."},{"startTime":2532.333,"endTime":2533.625,"body":"Yeah that inner critic"},{"startTime":2533.625,"endTime":2536.041,"body":"works great in sport."},{"startTime":2536.041,"endTime":2538.625,"body":"You hear like thick skin or they got"},{"startTime":2538.625,"endTime":2541.041,"body":"under your skin and if you think"},{"startTime":2541.041,"endTime":2544.708,"body":"about skin, right, it doesn't like"},{"startTime":2544.708,"endTime":2547.041,"body":"it's a boundary, that's permeable."},{"startTime":2547.041,"endTime":2547.333,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2547.333,"endTime":2549.5,"body":"We let things in, we expel things out."},{"startTime":2551.166,"endTime":2552.875,"body":"And so I think of this the same way"},{"startTime":2552.875,"endTime":2553.666,"body":"in some ways and"},{"startTime":2553.666,"endTime":2554.833,"body":"I like to think of a mountain."},{"startTime":2554.833,"endTime":2556.916,"body":"It might be a different image for you"},{"startTime":2556.916,"endTime":2558.041,"body":"but like stability,"},{"startTime":2558.041,"endTime":2559.708,"body":"kind of an inner stability"},{"startTime":2559.708,"endTime":2561.333,"body":"that is comfortable."},{"startTime":2561.333,"endTime":2562.583,"body":"Like oh great, I get feedback."},{"startTime":2562.583,"endTime":2563.791,"body":"Let's see what this is."},{"startTime":2563.791,"endTime":2565.0,"body":"I can sift through it."},{"startTime":2565.625,"endTime":2568.5,"body":"I can let things go and still"},{"startTime":2568.5,"endTime":2571.125,"body":"kind of be stable and you know,"},{"startTime":2571.125,"endTime":2572.291,"body":"decide my way forward."},{"startTime":2573.375,"endTime":2574.666,"body":"So those are kind of what I think about"},{"startTime":2574.666,"endTime":2575.541,"body":"when I think about how"},{"startTime":2575.541,"endTime":2577.708,"body":"to conceptualize and help people"},{"startTime":2578.75,"endTime":2579.875,"body":"deal with criticism."},{"startTime":2582.291,"endTime":2583.333,"body":"All right, excellent."},{"startTime":2583.333,"endTime":2585.083,"body":"I think that's a wrap for today."},{"startTime":2587.416,"endTime":2588.541,"body":"Thank you all."}]}