Ep 2: Overcome Envy for Good

In this episode of Tough Love Wellness, Domenique explores the deeper roots of envy and why comparison may actually be keeping you from creating the life you want. You'll learn practical mindset shifts to transform jealousy into inspiration, understand why everyone is on a unique path, and discover how to recognize the qualities you admire in others within yourself. If you're ready to stop comparing and start creating, this episode is for you.

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Transcript

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Welcome to Tough Love Wellness. I'm your host, Dominique Silvestri, and I'm here to cut through all the BFs that the spiritual and wellness industries keep feeding us and give you the real truth about what it actually takes to heal your body, mind, and life. Hope you enjoy. Hello, you guys, and welcome back to Tough Love Wellness. I am laughing at myself because I just went through and recorded this whole episode, and I went to go listen to it back, and turns out my microphone was off the whole time. So I have to, this is me re-recording the whole episode. Also, if my voice starts to sound a little strange at any point, I think I'm starting to get sick. So I'm just reflection central over here, but we are powering through, and I've got a great episode for you guys today, all about how to never feel envious of another person ever again. And I think that this is something that will resonate with a lot of people, particularly women. I feel like with the age that we are currently in of social media, where everything is just so easily accessible all the time. We are constantly bombarded by other people's lifestyle and, you know, every everything that people are doing in their day-to-day lives, we see it all the time because of social media. And so I think that that allows the feelings of envy and jealousy to come up a lot more frequently than is beneficial. And personally, I used to feel jealous of people all the time, specifically when it came to people having money. So anything related to them having a really successful business or flying first class or having the fancy car, you know, living that life of luxury, I used to feel jealous of people for that all the time. But now, once I learned these concepts that I'm about to outline for you in this episode, I actually haven't felt that way in a very long time. Or if I do start to feel that way, then I'm able to shift out of it really quickly so that it doesn't grow and turn into resentment or anything worse. So, first, I want to explain why feeling envious of other people for having the things that you desire is actually blocking you from receiving those things that you're trying to manifest or create into your life. So, feeling envy or jealousy is actually a very normal human emotion. We don't need to shame ourselves when this feeling comes up. But by holding on to that envy or jealousy and allowing it to build over time is not serving us because it will eventually end up feeding neural pathways that enforce a low self-image. Right? So the emotion of envy in and of itself is neutral because emotions are neither good nor bad, they just are. But the way that emotion makes you feel about yourself can be harmful to our lives if we're not consciously aware of what's happening. So by holding on to that envy, we probably start creating and reinforcing all sorts of limiting beliefs about ourselves. So, for example, nothing I ever do will be good enough to get the things I want. Or I'm just not meant to have a life like that. Or this one, this one was a big one for me for a long time. I can't do this thing that I really want to do because it's already been done before. So the more envy that we feel, the more we reinforce these beliefs and make those neural pathways stronger. And if you believe that you can't have that thing that you're desiring, then ultimately you're right. Because whatever you believe to be true about yourself is what ends up being true for you. Now, of course, if if you have limiting beliefs like that, which many, many, many of us do, that is okay. We can rewire those and change our brain and change our whole reality. But we don't want to be actively reinforcing those beliefs through envy. Plus, we'll probably start developing resentment towards other people, and resentment can actually lead to all sorts of disease and body obstacles. So we don't want that. So whenever envy comes up, we want to try to release it as quickly as possible. So the good news is I have a whole framework here that I'm about to lay out for you that will hopefully shift your perception so that the next time a jealous feeling comes up, you'll be able to squash it right then and there before letting those feelings run your life. So, first, I would like to go into a brief overview of soul plans. Every single person comes to planet Earth as a soul in a human body. Our soul is the oldest, wisest part of us that has lived many, many lives before this one. And every single person, when they incarnate into a human body, they agree to a soul contract. So soul contracts can include who your parents are, what circumstances you're born into, who you're meant to marry, some of the biggest soul lessons that you're meant to overcome in this lifetime. And they also include what you are meant to create in this lifetime. And when I say create, that could mean literally anything. So maybe you're meant to be a really amazing artist, or maybe you're meant to be a stay-at-home mom, or maybe you're supposed to run a multi-billion dollar company. So literally anything. And with intuition, we are able to read soul plans and see what this person is meant to create in their lifetime. We can also, with intuition, we can negotiate soul plans, which is really cool. So if somebody has a big soul lesson that they're meant to learn in this lifetime, we can negotiate with the soul and see if they can get the lesson in a different way that's actually a lot easier for them to overcome. So that's something pretty cool that we can do with scientifically precise intuition and reading these soul contracts. But we can see what a person's meant to create in this life and what is needed to get them there so that we can speed up timelines and things like that. And a lot of times, especially in this age of social media, like I was saying, we can see people who look like they have everything on the outside. So they have the money, the fancy car, the successful business, the high-rise apartment, the husband who's obsessed with them, whatever it is that you're desiring. We see people on social media with that thing, living the seemingly life of luxury. But here's the thing: without using intuition, it's impossible to tell if that person actually created those things from a balanced place, or if they were always meant to get those things because they were part of that person's soul plan. So even if somebody looks like they have it all on the outside, it's possible that this person has a greater soul lesson in this lifetime that having all of those things is going to help them overcome. So, for example, if somebody is living this life of luxury, maybe their soul lesson in this lifetime is they need to learn that money doesn't actually buy happiness. Or maybe they have the husband who's obsessed with them and all the money in the high-rise apartment, but they don't have any true friends that they can connect with that they're, you know, that they feel like they can really connect with, and they're actually really lonely on the inside. Or maybe they have the really successful business, but they still don't feel successful or valuable on the inside. So they keep putting all this pressure on themselves to hit new milestones just so they can feel that fleeting external validation. Because ultimately, if we don't feel valuable or successful or special on the inside, we're gonna be constantly looking for things on the outside to make us feel that way. And when we are getting that external validation, it is very fleeting. It's not going to last until we achieve that on the inside. So, again, without intuition, it's impossible to know whether or not these people we're envying are actually happy. And if they created that lifestyle from a balanced place and actually manifested through the source way of manifesting, or if they actually got all those things because it was part of their soul plan and it's might eventually come crashing down because they need to learn a bigger soul lesson. So knowing this, it's impossible to compare your path to somebody else's because every single person on planet Earth has a unique soul plan. And we are all meant to earn to learn different lessons in this lifetime and get those lessons in different ways that resonates with our soul, our unique soul makeup. So just because it looks like somebody has everything that you want on the outside, it doesn't necessarily mean that their life is better than yours. So keep that in mind the next time you see some someone on social media that is being, doing, or having the things that you want. Now, this leads me into my next point, which is the universal law of previews. So this universal law says that whatever is going on around us is something that we also have in our energy to become a match for. So, for example, if you are struggling to be happy for your friend who just got a major promotion with a big pay raise because you're envious of them, you might feel like you're stuck at a dead-end job and making way less money than they are. Just know that according to the law of previews, this means that you're capable of creating that thing too. And it might look a little bit different from, you know, it might look a little bit different for you, of course, like you're probably not going to go and get the exact same job with the exact same amount of money, but you'll find something that's more aligned with your soul path. So it's important to know that when we want something and it's a true soul desire, not just something that we want for an external ego boost, then that means that we are capable of creating that thing with the right tools. And the law of previews is just showing you that you already have the possibility of creating that thing programmed into your energy. Do you have to do some work to get there? Yeah, for sure. Maybe you have to do a lot of work to get there. And again, using intuition, we can find the exact physical and energetic tools that will get you where wherever you're trying to go the quickest. So you'll probably have to put work into manifesting a job with a pay rate like your friend's job. But knowing that this is a preview of what your life gets to look like with the right tools and physical actions can turn you into a genuine cheerleader for your friends. It can also make you excited for what's to come rather than beating yourself up over not having it yet. Every time I'm on social media and someone I follow talks about making a shit ton of money in their business, I get so fucking excited. Because I know that according to the law of previews, that means that I also have it in my energy to make that same amount of money. And it also allows me to be truly, genuinely happy for them rather than become a resentful bitch. So the final thing that I want to touch on here is when admiration turns envious. Because chances are, the majority of people that you feel jealous of, they probably embody certain qualities that you admire and that you wish you could also embody. For example, I really admire Alyssa Liu, the USA gold medalist figure skater. I thought her performance was so captivating and she's so talented, and I just really admired her ability to be herself and stay true to herself on such a public stage with basically the entire world watching her, right? And it would be so easy for my admiration of her to turn into envy. I could start beating myself up and say, oh, I don't have that level of talent, and I wish I could be as captivating and confident as she is. But then I remember that it is actually metaphysically impossible to see a quality in somebody else that we don't also embody somewhere on some level. Your brain quite literally would not be able to comprehend that quality if we didn't have it within ourselves. Now, does that mean that I'm supposed to go be a really talented figure skater? No, definitely not. But, but it means that with the right tools, I am capable of achieving Olympic athlete-level skill in my craft. My craft being intuition and healing the body through the mind-body connection. So maybe I'm not meant to be a captivating athletic performer, but maybe with practice and the right tools, I can become a really captivating storyteller and teacher. So whenever we start to become envious of somebody else's success or lifestyle, ask yourself what qualities they embodied that got them to where they are. Then whatever those qualities are, start noticing ways that you already have that characteristic within yourself. And once you start noticing that it's there, this is the law of focus that will come into play. So the law of focus is whatever we focus on, we get more of. So once we start noticing that that quality is there, and you do have that quality in you somewhere, whether it's confidence, patience, tenacity, whatever, whatever the quality is, once you acknowledge little ways that you are already embodying that quality, it becomes a lot easier to keep feeding that attribute and connect to it on a deeper level. So if the quality that you're after is confidence and you really admire somebody else's confidence, well, that means that you have to be confident somewhere in some way at some point. In tiny, tiny little ways, maybe. And once you start noticing, oh, I actually felt really confident when I walked into this dinner party that my friend was hosting because I had on a really hot outfit. I felt like I looked really good, and I walked in with my shoulders back, head raised high. I just felt really confident in that moment. Well, once you start noticing that, then it becomes a lot easier to embody that quality more frequently. So, like I said, you can feed that attribute and connect to it on a deeper level, and then over time you eventually just end up naturally becoming more confident. So that's pretty cool. So to wrap things up here, basically, there's just no reason to ever feel jealous of another person's lifestyle, success, or their qualities ever again. One, because everyone's soul plan is unique, and every single person on planet Earth is here to learn different lessons, and they're here to get those lessons in different, unique ways that resonate with their own soul makeup. Number two, the law of previews means that if you are seeing someone with the thing that you're wanting, then that means that it's also possible for you. You probably have to put in some, some or a lot of work to get there, but it is possible for you. So that means that it is in your energy that it is already a possibility to create that thing. And then finally, number three, it's impossible to see a quality in somebody else that you don't have within yourself already, somewhere. So once we can start connecting to those qualities, we start to focus on them more and then we resonate with them more deeply. And then we don't have to feel jealous of that person for having that quality because we recognize that we already have it. So definitely keep these concepts in mind the next time any sort of envy or jealousy starts to creep up. And let me know how this goes when you try this in your daily life. So, hope you guys enjoyed this episode. Keep me posted on how this works out for you in the future. And I will talk to you guys again next week. Bye bye.