Ep 3: Your Problem Isn't Actually the Problem

In this episode of Tough Love Wellness, Domenique explores why the obstacles you're facing may not be the real problem. She shares her perspective that recurring challenges- whether in your health, relationships, finances, career, or otherwise, are reflections of deeper subconscious beliefs and self-image patterns. Learning how identifying these underlying blocks, rather than only addressing surface-level symptoms, can help you create lasting change and build a life that feels more aligned.

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Transcript

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Welcome to Tough Love Wellness. I'm your host, Dominique Silvestri, and I'm here to cut through all the BS that the spiritual and wellness industries keep feeding us and give you the real truth about what it actually takes to heal your body, mind, and life. Hope you enjoy. All right. Hello, hello, you guys. Welcome back to Tough Love Wellness. I've got an important topic for today. This is something that I think every single human being on planet Earth right now can benefit from this information. So this is going to be especially useful for you if you have an obstacle that you're facing currently that you can't seem to solve, or if you have noticed a pattern in your life where you keep experiencing the same problem over and over. So the message for today is that your problem or obstacle that you're facing isn't actually the problem. The real problem that's creating that physical thing that you're experiencing is actually an internal self-image block. So let me explain what I mean. If you've listened to previous episodes, or if you follow me on social media, you have probably heard me talk about reflections before. So what is a reflection? Reflections are the obstacle that we deal with on a physical level. Any not optimal physical experience that we're having, so whether it's chronic illness or body obstacles or unexpected bills popping up or a fight with your husband or your dog getting sick, literally anything, it's the physical thing that we are experiencing. That's what the reflection is. When we fall out of complete love for ourselves and don't see our own absolute perfection, it programs a script into our creator field. And if you haven't heard me talk about the creator field before, it's basically the energetic field that radiates off of us and constructs every single situation, circumstance, event, person, and piece of matter around us. So our creator field is composed of our thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and actions on a daily basis. So this energetic field radiates off of us and tells other people and circumstances and situations and pieces of matter around us how to behave towards us. So it literally creates everything in your life, and that's why I call it the creator field. And this field also instructs the cells of your body on how to behave. So whatever is programmed into our creator field through our thoughts, beliefs, actions, and emotions is going to shape our entire experience of reality. So this makeup of this energetic field is primarily driven by our subconscious mind. So the part of our mind that we are not consciously aware of. And what's kind of crazy to think about is that the vast majority of our beliefs that we are holding on to are not things that we're consciously aware of. So, for example, someone might hold a belief in their subconscious mind of, I'm not good enough to make a million dollars this year. Now, they likely aren't actually having that thought consciously. Like that's probably not something that they're really aware of. But if this is a belief that they have ingrained into their subconscious, you know, usually these things start from childhood experiences, then they are likely to live their life in accordance with this belief. So maybe this leads to them not taking risks in their business or holding themselves back from trying something new or not making new social connections that could lead them to that million dollars that they are totally capable of making, since reality ultimately is not real. But because they have that subconscious belief that they aren't fully aware of, their life is going to reflect that physically. And they're going to act in accordance with that belief that's stored in their subconscious. And we don't experience reality as it is. Every single human being on planet Earth is experiencing a wildly different reality because our subconscious mind creates over 95% of our physical reality. So the way your brain is wired dictates what radiates off of your creator field, which creates your whole life. So quite literally, every single thing that we experience is something that we have to be an energetic match to experience. Now, how do we become an energetic match for any given physical experience? That is a great question. By programming the creator field, primarily through our repeated thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and actions that get stored in our subconscious mind. That is how we become a match for things, by programming this creator field. You change your subconscious mind, you change your physical reality. Now, the physical obstacles that we're dealing with are called reflections because they are literally a reflection of what is going on internally in your brain. And when we develop a belief or have a repeated emotional thought that is out of complete love for ourselves, our creator field is going to create an obstacle or reflection in our physical reality to show us where we are out of balance so that we can shift it and heal it and then get back to a place of seeing our own perfection. So, big question. Does that mean that you're responsible for creating everything in your reality? Yes, 100%. And little side note, I fucking hate when people say, oh, you can't control what happens to you. You can only control your reaction to it. That's actually bullshit, and that's just a lie from the spiritual community to keep you disconnected from your own power. So I hate when people say that. But the great news is that if you're not happy with your reality right now, that's okay because you also have the power to change it by rewiring your brain and your energy to create something better. You are that powerful. You do have the capability to do that. So no matter what the reflection is that you're facing right now, whether it's a body obstacle, a fight with a friend, wanting your boyfriend to man up and propose, or credit card debt, literally whatever, any in any area of life, you have the power to change your energy to create a better outcome. So this is why I say that your problem is never actually the problem. It's almost always actually an internal self-image block. So, for example, if you have acne, acne is a reflection of something going on internally. But most people, when they develop acne, they try to treat the physical acne as the problem. So they're gonna go out and try all the cleansers and the serums and spend a shit ton of money on special lasers and treatments and spend a bunch of time at the dermatologist. Maybe they even take it a step further and try changing their diet and environmental factors. Are any of those things wrong? No. Specifically when it comes to healing body reflections, there's usually a physical component that is needed to heal. But the physical stuff is only half the battle. To be honest, sometimes it's actually less than half the battle because everything starts off energetically before it manifests in the body, but just by doing all that physical work, we aren't addressing the root of the problem. So then you're probably wondering, okay, well, what is the root problem if this person is experiencing acne? And of course, using intuition, we can find the exact beliefs and thoughts that are running in the background of your subconscious that are creating that situation. So then we realize, oh, okay, this person is actually just really mad about they way the way that they feel like they are being perceived at work. Just as an example. Maybe they feel like their boss isn't valuing them and it's making them really mad. So it's showing up as acne on their face. Or if the acne is on their back and they have backnee, which this has been backnee has been an ongoing battle for me for many years. But if they have backnee, then this is going, oh, okay, it's not that I need to try 52 different topical products. I'm just mad about a past version of myself that I feel like I can't move on from. So the problem itself is not the acne. The problem is how you are feeling about yourself in another area of life. And we can change the way we're feeling over time through brain rewiring and we can heal that acne for good. Or if you want to use like a non-body example, if you want your boyfriend, husband, or whoever to take you out on more dates, you ultimately really want him to put you first and value you more. So the problem isn't necessarily the fact that he's not acting the way you want him to. And I guarantee, if you say to him, Ugh, you never take me out on dates anymore, why aren't you putting me first? Or you go the other route and you put him on a pedestal and constantly overgive to him and constantly put him before yourself, thinking that if you just keep overgiving, that eventually he'll reciprocate and do the same thing for you. Neither of those things are gonna work. Focusing on fixing the physical obstacle that you're experiencing is not going to make him take you out on more dates. We get other people to change the way they are treating us by changing the way we treat ourselves. And I know for a lot of people it's gonna be really counterintuitive once you start practicing this concept because another just spiritual bullshit kind of thing is like, oh, if you just always put other people before yourself and you come last, then you know, eventually somebody else will put you first. But it doesn't work like that. And if you've ever tried that, you probably know that it doesn't fucking work. Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. Well, not unfortunately. It's actually very good that it doesn't work like that. So if he's not putting you first, it means you are not putting yourself first or valuing yourself in a different area of life. So you shift that and then you change the way he treats you. And then he values you, he puts you on a pedestal pedestal, he wants to take you out on dates. So the part that trips people up the most when they're first getting into this work is that probably like 99% of these reflections that we're experiencing are actually rooted in a completely different area of life than where the physical reflection is actually showing up. So we have eight different areas of life. We have physical, mental, vocational, spiritual, financial, family, social, and passion or hobby. When it comes to romantic relationships, also, there's not a specific area of life for romantic relationships, but the way it works, by sources' view, is if you are dating somebody but you don't live together, then they technically fall into the social area of life. If you're dating somebody and you do live together, then they technically fall into the family area of life. So that is the distinction there. And when I say the vocation area of life, that could also be your career. But we want to look at this area of life as more of like your soul pull, your soul path career, not just a job that you're working that you don't like. So that's why I use the term vocation instead of career, but ultimately those terms are interchangeable. So you could have a really, really high self-image in one or more areas of your life. But the parts of your life where you're carrying doubts or limitations or emotions that aren't serving you, those are the things that are going to manifest as reflections. And it's all for the purpose of showing you where you are out of balance, just so that you can shift it and heal it and grow from it and ultimately keep evolving into a better version of yourself. If you want to get pretty deep on this, the the whole goal of life from a source perspective is soul growth. So to have our soul grow and experience and learn so many things in this lifetime. And then, of course, there's the human perspective, where from a human perspective, the goal of life is just to have the greatest life possible. So to cultivate, you know, the greatest human existence, whether that be joy, happiness, passion. So kind of looking at that from two different perspectives, the soul perspective and the human perspective. But ultimately, the goal should be to be always evolving and turning into a better version of yourself. And what's really fun, I say facetiously, is that our most pressing reflections, so the things that our higher selves really want us to focus on healing, will usually manifest in our highest value area of life. So for me personally, my highest value is my health and my physical body. So it's no wonder that I have had so many body reflections in my life, between every single skin issue under the sun, chronically long periods, lowered kidney function, insomnia, all sorts of stuff. And these are all things that I have by now, for the most part, healed by understanding reflections and understanding that the root of the problem is not where the problem is showing up. And specifically with body obstacles, too. So whether this is chronic illness or symptoms or whatever, body obstacles are always rooted in a different area of life. So nothing starts on the body, it always starts with an energetic root cause. The only kind of exception to this is when if somebody has a belief that they can't heal their body, which is actually pretty common when if you've been dealing with a very debilitating health struggle for a long period of time and you just that's your new normal, then a lot of times, and this is definitely something that I dealt with as well, but a lot of times when we deal with that body obstacle for so long, that becomes our normal. And then we start to develop a belief that we actually aren't even capable of healing. And of course, whatever you believe to be true about yourself is what is going to be true. So that belief is rooted in the physical area of life, and it will continue to show up in the physical area of life as a reflection of not making healing progress. But that's really the only exception, specifically when it comes to body stuff. So whatever you're experiencing on your physical body, it always, always, always starts with a different energetic root cause. So going back to this highest value area of life, again, so mine is my physical body, but somebody else's highest value might be their financial area of life. That's another big common one. So somebody whose highest value is in the financial area of life is likely going to see a lot of financial reflections. So maybe they get a lot of unexpected bills, or their yearly bonus wasn't as much as they were expecting. Or I don't know, maybe they get scammed out of a lot of money. Hopefully not, but you never know. Sometimes that happens. The energetic root cause behind each of these obstacles is it's rooted in a different area of life. So it's probably gonna have something to do with that person not being fully connected to their own internal value in another area of life. So whether that's their value in social settings or their romantic relationships, but those emotions that they feel about that area of life, either social or romantic, is gonna show up in their finances if that is their highest value area of life. Now, you might have a really high self-image because you're confident with your appearance, or I should say, you might think you have a really high self-image because you're really confident with your appearance in most social settings. When I first started getting into self-image work and I heard people talking about it all the time, I'm like, I don't need that. Like, I'm confident, I think I'm hot, like I'm good. But let me let me just phrase this question or pose this question to you. What about if you were in a room full of Victoria's Secret models and they were all wearing their bombshell Victoria's Secret Angel outfits with their hair and makeup all done up and they're looking pristine and you are wearing sweatpants with no hair or makeup done? Or whoever you think is insanely beautiful, if you were in the same room as that person and they looked really good and you looked like you just rolled out of bed, would you still feel confident with your appearance? If the answer is no, which most people in the world right now, the answer is probably no. At least most women probably feel like this, and that's okay, because that just means that there's room to grow. But if the answer is no, then it's very likely that you will eventually manifest a reflection rooted in your physical area of life that shows up elsewhere. Because you have a high self-image for a large portion of the time, but then a certain situation pops up and your self-image tanks. Or maybe you're like, you know what? Hell yeah, I am the hottest bitch to walk the planet. But then when it comes to your financial situation, maybe you have this belief running in your subconscious that you will just never make enough money to be able to live your dream life. And if you have that belief rooted in your financial area of life, then you will probably eventually manifest a reflection that shows up in a different area of life. Make sense? So the area of life where we are experiencing the physical reflection is almost never where the problem is actually rooted in energetically. And it all links back to something to do with our own self-image. So the beliefs that we hold, the way we view ourselves, the thoughts that we have, the emotions that we are not releasing, all of those contribute to our self-image. So we want to look at our problems in quotes, problems or reflections as a weed growing in our garden. The garden is our life, and the weed is the reflection. So if we just chopped the weed down from the surface, the roots are still growing underneath the surface. So chances are that weed is just gonna keep growing underground and eventually pop up again. We have to rip the weed out of the ground with all the roots to make sure it doesn't sprout up again. And the same thing is true with the physical obstacles that we are experiencing. If we just try to attack the physical problem, chances are we're not solving the root of the problem, and that problem might show up again. This can be why a lot of people experience the same problem over and over again. That reflection is going to keep popping up for you until you shift to the energetic root cause that's creating that situation because your higher self knows that overcoming this particular obstacle will help turn you into a better version of yourself. Self-image healing is truly the key to getting every single thing that we want in life because when we address the root cause of these issues, we boost our self-image, we heal our energy from within, and then the physical problem will just magically get better. So it's really a win-win because you're solving the reflection. So the physical problem is going to go away, and you're feeling so much better about yourself in the process because you're boosting your self-image. You're releasing old emotions that aren't serving you, you're rewiring your beliefs, and you're acknowledging your own internal value and ultimately beginning to see your own perfection. So that is why the problem that you're dealing with is never the actual problem. I thought for years when I was dealing with chronically long periods, that my body was the problem. I thought if I just found the right supplements and the right treatments and the right doctors, that I would eventually, hopefully, have a normal functioning body. But that wasn't the case. My body was never the problem. The physical stuff basically didn't do shit for me. I had to intuitively find the energetic root cause of my issues, which for me personally, it was primarily rooted in my vocation and financial areas of life. Basically, I was just beating myself up and really doubting my abilities to create the life that I was desiring. So it was primarily rooted in those areas of life, and I just had to shift that from within in order to heal my body because, again, my body was not the problem. So self-image healing or reflection healing, but ultimately self-image healing is something that I'm always working on now because there are constantly new levels of things to hit, and I always want to be improving. I don't sleep on myself, but I am also way less hard on myself now than I now that I have rewired my brain and I know that I'm capable of creating quite literally anything that I want. And that just feels so fucking cool. And if I did it, so can you. So that's what I've got for you guys today. Start playing around with this concept. Maybe next time somebody treats you in a way that you don't like, you can ask yourself, okay, how do I feel like they're being towards me? And where am I being this way towards myself in another area of life? And once you're aware of how your thoughts and beliefs about yourself create your whole reality, it becomes a whole lot easier to start rewiring your brain and create something more optimal and aligned with your soul path. And as always, if you have a body reflection or any sort of obstacle that you just aren't sure about where to start shifting or healing it, I have private sessions available on my website, or you can reach out, reach out to me on social media, and all of that will be in the show notes. All right, I hope that you guys enjoyed this episode, and we will talk again soon. Bye bye.