The STARS Framework for Vigilant Living - (Part 1 of 7) The Origin Story

Three Sips to Shots Fired
What Happens Before the Sirens
Most podcasts about tragedy focus on what happened.
This podcast asks a different question:
What happened before?
Hosted by Lori Baxley, Three Sips to Shots Fired: What Happens Before the Sirens explores the moments, decisions, behaviors, warning signs, routines, and human factors that shape our lives long before crisis arrives.
Drawing from Lori’s experience as a former police officer, probation officer, criminologist, educator, and survivor of a violent home invasion, each episode examines the often-overlooked space between ordinary life and extraordinary events.
Through conversations with survivors, experts, investigators, advocates, military leaders, first responders, authors, and everyday people whose lives were forever changed in a single moment, the podcast seeks to answer one central question:
How can we live more intentionally before the sirens?
At the heart of the show is the STARS Framework:
⭐ Scenarios — What can happen here?
⭐ Triggers — What feels slightly off?
⭐ Action — What will you do about it?
⭐ Routines — What habits protect what matters most?
⭐ Stoicism — Can you remain calm when life isn't?
This is not a podcast about fear.
It is a podcast about awareness.
About preparation.
About resilience.
About learning from lived experience.
And about making small decisions today that may change everything tomorrow.
Whether the topic is personal safety, crime prevention, addiction, domestic violence, resilience, parenting, leadership, faith, mental toughness, or recovery, every episode explores what happens before crisis—and what we can learn from it.
Because sometimes the distance between three sips and shots fired is much shorter than we think.
Host Bio
Lori Baxley
Lori Baxley is the host of Three Sips to Shots Fired: What Happens Before the Sirens, a podcast dedicated to exploring the decisions, warning signs, habits, and human behaviors that shape outcomes before crisis occurs.
Lori's professional background spans more than two decades in criminal justice, higher education, and public safety. She holds a degree in Criminology, completed advanced studies in forensic psychology and gang behavior, served as a police officer and probation officer, and spent years teaching and mentoring others in higher education.
Her perspective, however, extends far beyond the classroom and the criminal justice system.
In December 2019, Lori survived a violent home invasion that left her fighting for her life. She endured catastrophic injuries, multiple surgeries, life support, temporary dialysis, and ultimately the loss of her right leg below the knee. Her survival journey transformed not only how she viewed safety and preparedness, but how she viewed life itself.
Today, Lori uses her experience, education, and hard-earned perspective to help others think differently about awareness, resilience, preparedness, and personal responsibility.
She is the creator of the STARS Framework:
Scenarios. Triggers. Action. Routines. Stoicism.
A practical approach to navigating uncertainty, recognizing warning signs, making better decisions, and responding effectively when life becomes difficult.
Through her podcast, speaking, writing, and advocacy, Lori encourages others to move through the world with greater awareness—not fear; preparation—not paranoia; and resilience—not helplessness.
Her mission is simple:
To help people think more intentionally about what happens before the sirens.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Three Sips to Shocks Fired Podcast, the podcast about what happens before the sirens. I'm Lori Baxley, and today I want to talk about something deeply personal to me, something that has shaped not only this podcast, but how I move through the world and how I understand risk, how I understand resilience, and honestly how I understand people. Today I want to introduce you to something I call the STARS Framework. Five questions. Simple questions, but questions that I truly believe can change how we see the world around us, how we respond to uncertainty, and maybe even how we protect ourselves and the people we love. Because here's what I've learned. Most life-changing moments don't arrive with the warning sirens. Most danger doesn't announce itself. Most crises, whether that's violence, betrayal, addiction, manipulation, or even emotional devastation, begin quietly, subtly, sometimes almost invisibly. Something feels off, something doesn't add up, something changes, but too often we dismiss it, we rationalize it, we explain it away until later. And later we find ourselves saying, I knew something didn't feel right. Or looking back, the signs were there. And that question, that painful question, has followed me for years. What actually happens before the sirens? Because by the time the sirens show up, something has already happened. The moments have already arrived. The crisis is already unfolding. So what if we got better? Better at recognizing what comes before. You know, over the course of more than 20 years working in the criminal justice field in my younger years and studying human behavior, I kept seeing patterns, not just in crime, not just in victimization, but in life. Patterns in relationships, patterns in addiction, patterns in unsafe situations, patterns in manipulation, patterns in fear, and one thing became incredibly clear to me. Most people are not completely blindsided. Not really. There were moments, signals, behavior changes, a feeling, an inconsistency, a moment where something just didn't sit right. But many of us, myself included, have been conditioned to override our instincts, to be polite, to not overreact, to not make assumptions, to avoid discomfort, to convince ourselves, I'm probably overthinking this. Or it's probably nothing. And sometimes it is nothing, but sometimes it's not. And then in 2019, my understanding of all of this became deeply personal. Many of you know a little bit of my story, but for those of you who don't, one quiet evening, my sense of safety changed forever. I was home doing something ordinary, something familiar, something peaceful. And in a matter of seconds, everything changed. A violent home invasion. A moment that forced decisions, forced awareness, forced survival. And I want to be clear, today is not about retelling that story because this podcast is not about sensationalizing trauma. It's not about fear, it's not about living scared. It's about understanding. It's about awareness. It's about preparedness. It's about resilience. But what that experience did for me was sharpen something I had already spent years observing. The truth that moments of crisis, whether sudden or slow, often begin long before the crisis itself. Before the sirens, before the headlines, before the devastation. There are moments, signals, choices, habits, mindsets, and questions we either ask ourselves or don't. What actually helps people navigate uncertainty better? What helps people stay safer? What helps people recover? What helps people notice warning signs before consequences arrive? The framework began to take shape. Five questions, five anchors, five ways of thinking. Simple enough to remember, practical enough to use, powerful enough to matter. I call it the stars framework. And no, not because life is always beautiful, not because everything works out, and not because awareness guarantees protection. Sometimes, bad things still happen. Sometimes life blindsides us anyway. But because when things get dark, we need something to guide us, something to orient us, something steady. And for me, these five questions became that. Scenarios, what can happen here? Triggers, what feels slightly off? Actions, what will you do about it? Routines. What habits keep you safe? And finally, stoicism. Can you stay calm when everything isn't? And before you think, well, this sounds like personal safety training, yes, and no. Because this framework isn't only about violence. It's about life, it's about relationships, parenting, addiction, trust, recovery, boundaries, awareness, emotional resilience, faith, fear, and learning how to move through uncertainty without surrendering your peace. Because the truth is, every one of us, every single one of us, will face moments where something feels uncertain or something feels off, something hurts, something threatens what matters to us. And in those moments, the question becomes, what do we do next? So in this episode, I want to talk through the stars framework with you. Not as theory, not as fear, not as perfection, but as a practical way to think, a way to notice, a way to prepare, a way to stay grounded, and maybe a way to better protect what matters most. So the next step is in part two of the series. We'll start with the first question then scenarios, what can happen here? Until next time, I'm Lori Baxley, host of Three Sips to Shots Fired podcast because seconds don't ask permission, and what happens before the sirens matters most.