Three Sips to Shots Fired - What Happens Before the Sirens
Most podcasts about tragedy focus on what happened.
This podcast asks a different question:
What happened before?
Hosted by Lori Baxley, Three Sips to Shots Fired: What Happens Before the Sirens explores the moments, decisions, behaviors, warning signs, routines, and human factors that shape our lives long before crisis arrives.
Drawing from Lori’s experience as a former police officer, probation officer, criminologist, educator, and survivor of a violent home invasion, each episode examines the often-overlooked space between ordinary life and extraordinary events.
Through conversations with survivors, experts, investigators, advocates, military leaders, first responders, authors, and everyday people whose lives were forever changed in a single moment, the podcast seeks to answer one central question:
How can we live more intentionally before the sirens?
At the heart of the show is the STARS Framework:
⭐ Scenarios — What can happen here?
⭐ Triggers — What feels slightly off?
⭐ Action — What will you do about it?
⭐ Routines — What habits protect what matters most?
⭐ Stoicism — Can you remain calm when life isn't?
This is not a podcast about fear.
It is a podcast about awareness.
About preparation.
About resilience.
About learning from lived experience.
And about making small decisions today that may change everything tomorrow.
Whether the topic is personal safety, crime prevention, addiction, domestic violence, resilience, parenting, leadership, faith, mental toughness, or recovery, every episode explores what happens before crisis—and what we can learn from it.
Because sometimes the distance between three sips and shots fired is much shorter than we think.
Host Bio
Lori Baxley
Lori Baxley is the host of Three Sips to Shots Fired: What Happens Before the Sirens, a podcast dedicated to exploring the decisions, warning signs, habits, and human behaviors that shape outcomes before crisis occurs.
Lori's professional background spans more than two decades in criminal justice, higher education, and public safety. She holds a degree in Criminology, completed advanced studies in forensic psychology and gang behavior, served as a police officer and probation officer, and spent years teaching and mentoring others in higher education.
Her perspective, however, extends far beyond the classroom and the criminal justice system.
In December 2019, Lori survived a violent home invasion that left her fighting for her life. She endured catastrophic injuries, multiple surgeries, life support, temporary dialysis, and ultimately the loss of her right leg below the knee. Her survival journey transformed not only how she viewed safety and preparedness, but how she viewed life itself.
Today, Lori uses her experience, education, and hard-earned perspective to help others think differently about awareness, resilience, preparedness, and personal responsibility.
She is the creator of the STARS Framework:
Scenarios. Triggers. Action. Routines. Stoicism.
A practical approach to navigating uncertainty, recognizing warning signs, making better decisions, and responding effectively when life becomes difficult.
Through her podcast, speaking, writing, and advocacy, Lori encourages others to move through the world with greater awareness—not fear; preparation—not paranoia; and resilience—not helplessness.
Her mission is simple:
To help people think more intentionally about what happens before the sirens.
Three Sips to Shots Fired - What Happens Before the Sirens
STARS Foundation Series | Part 3: Triggers — What Feels Slightly Off?
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Often, long before a crisis unfolds, there are subtle signals that something isn't quite right.
A comment that doesn't sit well.
A situation that feels off.
A change in behavior.
A feeling you can't immediately explain.
The STARS Framework for Vigilant Living was created to help people think more intentionally about uncertainty, preparedness, decision-making, and resilience before a crisis arrives.
In this Foundation Series, we're exploring each pillar of the STARS Framework one at a time.
Today's episode focuses on the second pillar:
Triggers — What Feels Slightly Off?
Triggers are the cues, observations, instincts, and warning signs that capture our attention and cause us to pause.
Sometimes they're obvious.
Sometimes they're subtle.
And sometimes they show up as nothing more than a quiet sense that something isn't right.
In this episode, Lori Baxley explores the role of intuition, situational awareness, pattern recognition, and critical thinking in identifying potential threats and opportunities before they fully develop.
This isn't about becoming fearful or suspicious of everyone around you.
It's about learning to pay attention.
Because the worst outcomes are often preceded by warning signs—and the people who notice them are often better positioned to make informed decisions.
The question is:
When something feels slightly off...
Will you notice?
About the STARS Framework
The STARS Framework is built around five questions designed to help us navigate uncertainty before crisis arrives:
⭐ Scenarios — What can happen here?
⭐ Triggers — What feels slightly off?
⭐ Action — What will you do about it?
⭐ Routines — What habits keep you safe?
⭐ Stoicism — Can you stay calm when everything isn't?
About the Host
Lori Baxley is the host of Three Sips to Shots Fired: What Happens Before the Sirens.
A survivor of a violent home invasion, former police officer, probation officer, criminal justice professional, educator, and advocate for vigilant living, Lori developed the STARS Framework to help individuals think more intentionally about preparedness, awareness, and resilience in everyday life.
STARS Foundation Series
Part 1: Origin Story of the STARS Framework
Part 2: Scenarios — What Can Happen Here?
Part 3: Triggers — What Feels Slightly Off?
Part 4: Action — What Will You Do About It?
Part 5: Routines — What Habits Keep You Safe?
Part 6: Stoicism — Can You Stay Calm When Everything Isn't?
Part 7: Closing Reflection
Subscribe for future episodes of Three Sips to Shots Fired and conversations exploring what happens before the sirens.
#STARSFramework #Triggers #SituationalAwareness #TheGiftOfFear #VigilantLiving #Preparedness #ThreeSipsToShotsFired #PersonalSafety #Resilience
Hi again, I'm Lori Baxley, your host. Welcome to part three in this episode of Three Sips to Shots Fired Podcast. Let's move right into the second pillar in the stars framework, triggers, also known as intuition, or framed as a question, what feels slightly off? And I want to start here. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself. I think there's wisdom in that. Because most danger doesn't arrive screaming. It whispers first. It rarely announces itself. It doesn't usually walk into the room and say, hey, something bad is about to happen. No, usually it's quieter than that. A story somebody ignored. A pattern somebody overlooked. A warning sign someone explained away. And maybe if we're paying attention, we can learn before pain becomes personal. Because most warning signs are subtle, a feeling, a behavior, a shift, an inconsistency, something that doesn't quite match. Something that makes you pause, even for a second. And if you've ever said, I don't know why, but something didn't feel right, then you already understand triggers. You've experienced them. The question is, did you listen? Now before we go any further, I want to make an important distinction because this matters. Triggers are not fear. Triggers are information. And there's a difference. Fear says everything is dangerous. Awareness says something deserves my attention. Fear overwhelms. Awareness observes. Fear panics. Awareness pauses. And sometimes that pause matters more than we realize. Over the years, working in the criminal justice field, studying behavior, watching how crimes and crises unfold, I noticed something. People often sensed something was wrong before they even understood what was wrong. Read that again in your own life for a second. How many times have you looked back and said, I knew something felt off? Maybe you ignored it. Maybe you explained it away. Maybe you convinced yourself you were overreacting. But somewhere, deep down, you noticed something. And here's what I want to gently challenge. What if that feeling deserved more curiosity? Not panic, just curiosity. Because triggers aren't always dramatic. Sometimes they're incredibly subtle. A person's behavior changes, their tone changes, their energy changes, the environment changes. Something that was normal suddenly feels different. And your nervous system notices before your brain catches up. That matters. Let me give you some examples. Maybe you're walking into a parking lot and suddenly someone changes direction when they see you. Maybe nothing, maybe absolutely nothing, but maybe you notice. You pause, you trust yourself enough to become more aware. You move closer to light. You change direction. You get your keys ready. You call someone. Not fear, awareness. Maybe it's a relationship. And early on, someone says all the right things. They move quickly, too quickly. Big promises, big emotions, big intensity. And something inside says, this feels rushed. But another part says, maybe I'm just scared. Maybe this is what love feels like. And maybe, but maybe not. Because sometimes triggers are patterns. Control disguised as protection. Jealousy disguised as love. Pressure disguised as commitment. Isolation disguised as closeness. And I'm not saying every uncomfortable moment is a red flag. But I am saying pay attention. Patterns matter. Maybe it's addiction. And this one's hard. Because when addiction touches people we love, our hearts get involved, hope gets involved, history gets involved, and sometimes we stop trusting what we see. You notice the changes, missed calls, different stories, financial issues, isolation, mood swings, broken commitments, eyes that look tired, words that feel rehearsed. Something feels different. And maybe you don't want it to mean something. I understand that deeply. But triggers ask us to notice reality, even when reality hurts. Because ignoring warning signs doesn't protect people, and it doesn't protect us. Maybe it's your child. And again, not every teenager in a bad mood is in crisis. Let's be reasonable, but maybe your child suddenly becomes withdrawn or stops talking, changes friend groups, grades shift, sleep changes, behavior changes, you feel distance, and maybe instead of dismissing it, you lean in. Not with accusation, with curiosity. Hey, you seem different lately. How are you really? Sometimes the smallest questions open the biggest doors, and sometimes the trigger is internal. You feel emotionally exhausted. You stop sleeping well, your peace feels gone, you're anxious all the time, disconnected, burned out, spiritually depleted, emotionally numb. And maybe that deserves attention too, because triggers aren't only external. Sometimes the thing asking for awareness is inside of us, and if we ignore ourselves long enough, life has a way of eventually demanding attention, usually louder, usually harder. You know, one of the things I learned after my own experience in 2019 was this. Our intuition is often wiser than we give it credit for. Now I want to be careful here, because intuition is not magic, it's not fear, and it's not paranoia. A lot of times intuition is simply your brain noticing patterns before your conscious mind catches up. Behavior, movement, tone, context, something doesn't align, something doesn't fit, and you may not know why yet, but something in you notices, and here's the problem. Many of us have spent years learning to silence ourselves, to be polite, to not offend, to avoid awkwardness, to explain away discomfort, to talk ourselves out of what we feel, especially women. But honestly, many men too. We override ourselves, and sometimes that comes at a cost. I want to say something that may stay with you. Discomfort is not always danger, but danger often begins with discomfort, and that matters, because as safety expert Gavin De Becker wisely said, the worst outcomes almost always have warning signs. Not always loud signs, not dramatic signs. Sometimes just a pause, a hesitation, a feeling you can't quite explain, and learning the difference between fear and awareness, between anxiety and discernment. That takes wisdom. That takes reflection. That takes practice. And here's the truth. You will not always get it right. Sometimes something feels off and it's nothing. You misread it, that's okay. But sometimes something feels off and it's everything. And listening sooner matters. So here's the invitation this week. Pay attention, not fearfully, not obsessively, just honestly. What feels slightly off in your life? A relationship, a pattern, a habit, a friendship, your health, your peace, your child, your own emotional state. What are you noticing? What are you noticing that you keep trying to explain away? And maybe, just maybe, instead of dismissing yourself, you become curious, because awareness starts small. Sometimes it starts with a whisper, a pause, a hesitation, a feeling you can't quite explain, and sometimes that whisper matters more than we know. Because once we notice something, the next question becomes, what will you do about it? Which brings us to the third pillar of the stars framework that we will cover in the next part of the series Action. Until next time, I'm Lori Baxley, host of Three Siths to Shots Fire podcast, because seconds don't ask permission, and what happens before the sirens matters most.