STARS Foundation Series | Part 5: Routines - What Habits Keep You Safe?

What happens before the sirens?

Often, the answer has less to do with what we do in a crisis and more to do with what we do every day.

The small habits.

The repeated behaviors.

The routines we build long before we ever need them.

The STARS Framework for Vigilant Living was created to help people think more intentionally about uncertainty, preparedness, decision-making, and resilience before a crisis arrives.

In this Foundation Series, we're exploring each pillar of the STARS Framework one at a time.

Today's episode focuses on the fourth pillar:

Routines — What Habits Keep You Safe?

When people think about preparedness, they often focus on equipment, plans, or knowledge.

But routines are what make those things actionable.

Routines help us remember what matters when life becomes busy.

They reduce the likelihood of mistakes.

They create consistency.

And they often influence outcomes long before a crisis ever occurs.

In this episode, Lori Baxley explores how intentional routines can support personal safety, health, relationships, finances, resilience, and everyday decision-making.

Because the habits we practice repeatedly become the behaviors we rely on under pressure.

You don't rise to the occasion.

You often fall to the level of your preparation.

The question is:

What habits are helping you move through life more safely, intentionally, and effectively?

And just as importantly:

Which habits might be putting you at risk?

About the STARS Framework

The STARS Framework is built around five questions designed to help us navigate uncertainty before crisis arrives:

⭐ Scenarios — What can happen here?

⭐ Triggers — What feels slightly off?

⭐ Action — What will you do about it?

⭐ Routines — What habits keep you safe?

⭐ Stoicism — Can you stay calm when everything isn't?

About the Host

Lori Baxley is the host of Three Sips to Shots Fired: What Happens Before the Sirens.

A survivor of a violent home invasion, former police officer, probation officer, criminal justice professional, educator, and advocate for vigilant living, Lori developed the STARS Framework to help individuals think more intentionally about preparedness, awareness, and resilience in everyday life.

STARS Foundation Series

Part 1: Origin Story of the STARS Framework

Part 2: Scenarios — What Can Happen Here?

Part 3: Triggers — What Feels Slightly Off?

Part 4: Action — What Will You Do About It?

Part 5: Routines — What Habits Keep You Safe?

Part 6: Stoicism — Can You Stay Calm When Everything Isn't?

Part 7: Closing Reflection

Subscribe for future episodes of Three Sips to Shots Fired and conversations exploring what happens before the sirens.

#STARSFramework #Routines #Preparedness #Habits #PersonalSafety #SituationalAwareness #Resilience #VigilantLiving #ThreeSipsToShotsFired #PersonalGrowth

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi again. I'm your host, Lori Baxley. Welcome to part five in the series about the STARS Framework. Let's move right into the fourth pillar in the SARS framework. Routines. What habits keep you safe? And before we go any further, I want to share a quote that I think speaks directly to this part of the framework. Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most. Abraham Lincoln. And I want you to sit with that for just a second, because safety, growth, peace, clarity, they're often shaped by small choices made repeatedly. What we want now is often comfort, convenience, avoidance, distraction, the easier path. But what we want most, peace, stability, preparedness, healthy relationships, a calm mind, a strong spirit, the ability to respond well when life gets hard. And that's where routines matter. Because when I say safe, I want you to think bigger than locks on doors. Although, yes, sometimes it includes locks on doors, but I'm talking about something deeper. Habits that protect your peace, your health, your relationships, your resilience, your judgment, your faith, your emotional well-being, your ability to respond well when life gets hard. Because eventually life gets hard for all of us. Not maybe, not sometimes, eventually. Loss happens, fear happens, conflict happens, heartbreak happens, temptation happens, crisis happens, and in those moments we tend to fall back on what we've practiced and what we've repeated, what we've built into our lives. Which brings me to something I've come to believe deeply. We do not rise to the level of our intentions. We often fall to the level of our routines, and that matters because most people have good intentions. We intend to be healthier, more prepared, more grounded, more connected, more disciplined, more aware. But intention without routine usually fades under pressure. Routine sustains us. Let me explain what I mean. Imagine someone says if something bad ever happened, I'd stay calm. I'd think clearly, I'd know what to do. Maybe, maybe not, because calm is not usually created in crisis. Calm is practiced before crisis. And the same thing is true emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically. The habits we practice quietly often shape how we respond loudly. Let's start with something practical. Home routines, simple things, checking doors, knowing your exits, having conversations with your family. What would we do in an emergency? Who do we call? Where do we meet? How do we respond? And listen, I know some people hear that and think that feels extreme. But honestly, preparedness isn't extreme. Preparedness creates peace because when a family has talked through hard things, there's less panic later. Maybe routines look like communication, checking in with people you love, actually asking, how are you? and meaning it. Not the drive-by version. How are you? Fine? Okay, great. No. The real version, how are you really doing? What's been heavy lately? What are you carrying? Because sometimes safety looks like connection. Sometimes the strongest protection we have is feeling seen. And I want to pause here for a moment because I think this matters deeply. Especially right now. We're living in a world where people are feeling increasingly disconnected, lonely, overwhelmed, anxious, burned out. And sometimes the routine that keeps someone safe is simply knowing someone notices when they disappear. Someone checks in. Someone sees them. Someone asks again. That matters more than we realize. Maybe routines involve emotional health. And let me say this gently: you cannot pour from an empty cup forever. You just can't. If you're exhausted, emotionally depleted, angry all the time, anxious all the time, running on fumes, that deserves attention because worn down people often struggle to respond well under pressure. And please hear me, this is not criticism, this is compassion. Because we all go through hard seasons. But routines ask, what helps me stay grounded? Sleep? Exercise? Time outside? Therapy? Prayer? Quiet? Journaling? Boundaries? Community? Faith? Breathing room. What actually helped me become steadier? Because steadiness matters. And yes, I want to bring in the spiritual side just for a moment. Not in a preachy way, but just honestly. For many people, myself included, routine also means tending to the soul. Prayer, reflection, gratitude, stillness, faith. Or simply creating space to reconnect with what matters most. Because when life gets loud and chaotic and painful, having something deeper to anchor yourself to matters. Whatever that looks like for you. Because resilience is not just physical, it's emotional, mental, spiritual, relational. All of it matters. Let's talk about addiction for a moment too. Because recovery for individuals and families often lives in routines. Meetings, accountability, healthy friendships, boundaries, check-ins, honesty, consistency. You know, we often think transformation happens in dramatic moments, but usually, healing happens quietly, repeatedly, one choice at a time, one healthy habit at a time, one honest conversation at a time. And I think there's something hopeful about that. Because it means change is possible. Even when progress feels slow. Maybe routines are relational. You stop ignoring conflict, you apologize sooner, you listen more, you protect time with people you love. You stop assuming there will always be more time. You become intentional. Because healthy relationships rarely happen accidentally. They're built, protected, practiced. And here's something else I've learned. Routines help us recognize when something is off because when healthy patterns exist, change becomes easier to notice. If your child always talks and suddenly stops, you notice. If your partner changes dramatically, you notice. If your own emotional health shifts, you notice. Routine creates awareness, and awareness creates opportunity. Opportunity to respond earlier. Before things unravel, before things escalate, before the sirens. You know after everything I've experienced professionally and personally, I've come to believe something simple. The small things matter. The ordinary things matter. The habits no one sees matter. The conversations, the boundaries, the check-ins, the bedtime routines, the moments of stillness, the prayers, the hard choices, the repeated acts of care, because when hard seasons come, and they will, those quiet routines often become the things that hold us together. So let me ask you something. What routines are helping you right now? And what routines are hurting you? What habits are strengthening your peace, your health, your relationships, your resilience, and where have you been surviving instead of intentionally living? Maybe it's small. Maybe wisdom says, go to bed earlier. Call the friend. Take the walk. Ask the question. Go to therapy. Say the prayer. Start the boundary. Turn toward healing. Start small, but start. Because little things become big things over time. And once we've built routines, we arrive at the final question. And honestly, this one may matter most when life gets hardest. Because eventually, despite preparation, despite awareness, despite action, life still happens. Fear still comes. Chaos still comes. Loss still comes. And the question becomes can you stay calm when everything isn't? Coming next, the fifth pillar in the stars framework Stoicism. Until next time, I'm Lori Baxley, host of Three Sips to Shots Fired Podcast. Because seconds don't ask permission, and what happens before the sirens matters most.