Three Sips to Shots Fired - What Happens Before the Sirens
Most podcasts about tragedy focus on what happened.
This podcast asks a different question:
What happened before?
Hosted by Lori Baxley, Three Sips to Shots Fired: What Happens Before the Sirens explores the moments, decisions, behaviors, warning signs, routines, and human factors that shape our lives long before crisis arrives.
Drawing from Lori’s experience as a former police officer, probation officer, criminologist, educator, and survivor of a violent home invasion, each episode examines the often-overlooked space between ordinary life and extraordinary events.
Through conversations with survivors, experts, investigators, advocates, military leaders, first responders, authors, and everyday people whose lives were forever changed in a single moment, the podcast seeks to answer one central question:
How can we live more intentionally before the sirens?
At the heart of the show is the STARS Framework:
⭐ Scenarios — What can happen here?
⭐ Triggers — What feels slightly off?
⭐ Action — What will you do about it?
⭐ Routines — What habits protect what matters most?
⭐ Stoicism — Can you remain calm when life isn't?
This is not a podcast about fear.
It is a podcast about awareness.
About preparation.
About resilience.
About learning from lived experience.
And about making small decisions today that may change everything tomorrow.
Whether the topic is personal safety, crime prevention, addiction, domestic violence, resilience, parenting, leadership, faith, mental toughness, or recovery, every episode explores what happens before crisis—and what we can learn from it.
Because sometimes the distance between three sips and shots fired is much shorter than we think.
Host Bio
Lori Baxley
Lori Baxley is the host of Three Sips to Shots Fired: What Happens Before the Sirens, a podcast dedicated to exploring the decisions, warning signs, habits, and human behaviors that shape outcomes before crisis occurs.
Lori's professional background spans more than two decades in criminal justice, higher education, and public safety. She holds a degree in Criminology, completed advanced studies in forensic psychology and gang behavior, served as a police officer and probation officer, and spent years teaching and mentoring others in higher education.
Her perspective, however, extends far beyond the classroom and the criminal justice system.
In December 2019, Lori survived a violent home invasion that left her fighting for her life. She endured catastrophic injuries, multiple surgeries, life support, temporary dialysis, and ultimately the loss of her right leg below the knee. Her survival journey transformed not only how she viewed safety and preparedness, but how she viewed life itself.
Today, Lori uses her experience, education, and hard-earned perspective to help others think differently about awareness, resilience, preparedness, and personal responsibility.
She is the creator of the STARS Framework:
Scenarios. Triggers. Action. Routines. Stoicism.
A practical approach to navigating uncertainty, recognizing warning signs, making better decisions, and responding effectively when life becomes difficult.
Through her podcast, speaking, writing, and advocacy, Lori encourages others to move through the world with greater awareness—not fear; preparation—not paranoia; and resilience—not helplessness.
Her mission is simple:
To help people think more intentionally about what happens before the sirens.
Three Sips to Shots Fired - What Happens Before the Sirens
STARS Foundation Series | Part 6: Stoicism — Can You Stay Calm When Everything Isn't?
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Sometimes the greatest challenge isn't what is happening around us.
It's what is happening within us.
Fear.
Stress.
Uncertainty.
Frustration.
Loss.
Adversity has a way of testing not only our preparedness, but also our ability to remain grounded when life doesn't go according to plan.
The STARS Framework for Vigilant Living was created to help people think more intentionally about uncertainty, preparedness, decision-making, and resilience before a crisis arrives.
In this Foundation Series, we're exploring each pillar of the STARS Framework one at a time.
Today's episode focuses on the fifth and final pillar:
Stoicism — Can You Stay Calm When Everything Isn't?
Stoicism is often misunderstood.
It isn't about suppressing emotions, pretending everything is fine, or becoming indifferent to life's challenges.
Instead, Stoicism teaches us to focus our energy on what we can control while accepting what we cannot.
It invites us to cultivate perspective, discipline, resilience, and emotional steadiness in the face of uncertainty.
In this episode, Lori Baxley explores how Stoic principles can help us navigate difficult conversations, personal setbacks, unexpected crises, and the everyday challenges that come with being human.
Because no amount of preparation can eliminate uncertainty.
No framework can prevent hardship.
And no one moves through life without encountering adversity.
The question is not whether difficult moments will come.
The question is:
When they do, can you remain calm enough to respond wisely?
As the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius wrote:
"You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."
The ability to stay grounded during uncertainty may be one of the most important skills we ever develop.
About the STARS Framework
The STARS Framework is built around five questions designed to help us navigate uncertainty before crisis arrives:
⭐ Scenarios — What can happen here?
⭐ Triggers — What feels slightly off?
⭐ Action — What will you do about it?
⭐ Routines — What habits keep you safe?
⭐ Stoicism — Can you stay calm when everything isn't?
About the Host
Lori Baxley is the host of Three Sips to Shots Fired: What Happens Before the Sirens.
A survivor of a violent home invasion, former police officer, probation officer, criminal justice professional, educator, and advocate for vigilant living, Lori developed the STARS Framework to help individuals think more intentionally about preparedness, awareness, and resilience in everyday life.
Through lived experience, professional experience, and a deep interest in what happens before crisis arrives, Lori encourages listeners to think critically, act intentionally, and cultivate resilience in an uncertain world.
STARS Foundation Series
Part 1: Origin Story of the STARS Framework
Part 2: Scenarios — What Can Happen Here?
Part 3: Triggers — What Feels Slightly Off?
Part 4: Action — What Will You Do About It?
Part 5: Routines — What Habits Keep You Safe?
Part 6: Stoicism — Can You Stay Calm When Everything Isn't?
Part 7: Closing Reflection
Subscribe for future episodes of Three Sips to Shots Fired and conversations exploring what happens before the sirens.
#STARSFramework #Stoicism #MarcusAurelius #Resilience #MentalStrength #Preparedness #VigilantLiving #ThreeSipsToShotsFired #PersonalGrowth #WhatHappensBeforeTheSirens
Hi again, I'm Lori Baxley, your host. Welcome to part six in the series about the Stars Framework. So now we arrive at the final pillar in the Stars Framework, Stoicism. And honestly, this may be the hardest one, not because it's complicated, but because life eventually tests all of us. The final question is this can you stay calm when everything isn't? Maybe said another way. Who are you when life gets hard? Because eventually, despite preparation, despite awareness, despite wisdom, life still happens. Loss happens, fear happens, illness happens, heartbreak happens, addiction happens, violence happens, betrayal, and grief happen. Unexpected phone calls happen, hard diagnoses happen. The life you thought you were building sometimes changes. And in those moments when the ground beneath you shifts, who are you then? There's a quote from Marcus Aurelius that I think speaks to this. You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength. And maybe that sounds simple, but honestly, it's incredibly hard because most of us spend a lot of time wishing we could control things we simply can't. The diagnosis, the betrayal, the addiction, the grief, the phone call we never wanted, the season we never expected, the loss we never prepared for. And Stoicism gently reminds us, you may not control what happened, but you still have choices in how you respond. Not perfectly, not without emotion, not without struggle, but intentionally. And I want to clarify something, because I think people misunderstand the word. Stoicism is not pretending you're fine. It's not stuffing emotions, it's not becoming cold, or disconnected, or hard. That's not strength, that's survival. Stoicism, at least the way I think about it, is steadiness. It's the ability to remain grounded, even when life feels unsteady. It's emotional discipline, not emotional denial. It's saying, this is hard, this hurts, this scares me, and still, I will not let fear drive the car. Because fear is real. And let's be honest, sometimes fear is justified. Sometimes life is terrifying. Sometimes uncertainty is exhausting. Sometimes pain feels unbearable. I understand that deeply. But fear and panic are not the same thing. Fear says, something matters. Panic says, everything is lost. And stoicism asks, can I stay present here? Can I breathe here? Can I respond instead of react? Can I hold steady even if I'm shaking a little? Because courage doesn't always feel brave. Sometimes courage sounds like, I'll get through today. Sometimes courage says, I don't know what happens next, but I'm still here. Sometimes courage looks like therapy or recovery, or grief, or forgiveness, or choosing to keep going when you're tired, really tired. You know, working in criminal justice for over 20 years, I saw people at their worst moments. Victims, families, trauma, loss, chaos, and something stayed with me. The people who navigated hard moments the best were not always the strongest, not always the toughest, not always the loudest. Often they were the steadiest. They could pause, think, regulate, breathe, stay anchored, even in uncertainty, even in fear. And I remember thinking, that matters. That kind of steadiness matters because crisis changes people. Stress changes people. Fear changes people. And if we don't prepare ourselves emotionally, fear can take over. You know, after my own experience in 2019, I learned something I wish I hadn't need to learn. Adrenaline is real. Fear is real. Shock is real. The body responds, the mind responds, and afterward, there's processing, there's healing, there's reflection. Sometimes there's grief. Sometimes there's anger. Sometimes anxiety. And one of the hardest lessons became this. Steadiness is a practice, not something you're born with, not something some people magically have. It's built quietly over time in how we think, how we recover, how we respond, and how we care for ourselves, how we stay connected, how we return to center. Again and again. And this matters outside of crisis too. Maybe stoicism shows up in parenting, when your child is struggling, and every instinct in you wants to panic. But instead you stay grounded, present, available, steady. Maybe it shows up in addiction because addiction affects everyone around it. And loving someone who is suffering can feel emotionally devastating. And stoicism does not mean you stop caring. It means you keep showing up without losing yourself. You've remained remain compassionate without surrendering wisdom. You love without being consumed. And honestly, that takes incredible strength. Maybe stoicism looks like grief. And if you've lost someone or lost the version of life you thought you'd have, you know this. Grief changes us. And there are seasons where simply getting out of bed feels hard. So if that's where someone listening is today, I want to say this gently. Steadiness may look different right now. Maybe today, stoicism simply means breathing. Eating, taking a walk, answering the phone, showing up anyway. Sometimes surviving is brave, sometimes healing is slow, and that's okay. And yes, I want to gently bring in something spiritual here too. Because for many people, especially in suffering, there comes a moment where strength alone isn't enough. You need meaning, hope, faith, perspective, something deeper than circumstance. Something that says, this is painful, but pain does not get the final word. This is uncertain, but uncertainty is not the end of my story. This is hard, but I do not walk through hard things alone. And whatever that looks like for you, faith, prayer, community, reflection, purpose, I think it matters because resilience grows stronger when we remember what grounds us. And here's the truth. Stoicism doesn't mean life stops hurting. It means pain stops controlling everything. Fear stops making every decision. Emotion stops running the show. You still feel deeply, you still grieve, you still care, you still cry, you still struggle. You're a human, but you remain rooted. You come back to center again and again. I think one of the greatest forms of strength is emotional steadiness, especially in a world that feels increasingly reactive. Quick anger, quick judgment, quick panic, quick outrage. But steadiness says, pause, breathe, think, respond, protect your peace, protect your mind, protect what matters most. And maybe this week the question isn't, am I perfectly calm? Because none of us are. Maybe the better question is, what helps me return to center? What grounds me? Who grounds me? What restores my peace? What strengthens my resilience? And where in my life am I letting fear speak louder than wisdom? Because here's what I've come to believe. Life will shake us. That part is unavoidable, but we do not have to be destroyed by every storm. We can become steadier, we can weather that storm. We can become wiser, more grounded, more resilient, not because life gets easier, but because we grow stronger and calmer and more anchored when everything isn't. And when you put the stars framework all together, scenarios, triggers, action, routines, stoicism, you begin to move through life differently. Not fearfully, not perfectly, but intentionally. Aware, prepared, grounded, and maybe a little steadier than before. Until next time, I'm Lori Baxley, host of Three Sips to Shotsfired Podcast, because seconds don't ask permission and what happens before the sirens matters most.