WEBVTT 00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:07.280 Welcome to the Awakening Church podcast. 00:00:07.599 --> 00:00:11.599 We exist to awaken this generation to a new life in Christ. 00:00:11.839 --> 00:00:16.399 Thanks for tuning in to find out more at awakeningchurch.com. 00:00:18.399 --> 00:00:29.039 This morning we're continuing in our relational intelligence series, and I want to give a quick um disclaimer for some, especially parents in the room. 00:00:29.280 --> 00:00:34.719 The title this morning is It's Just Physical, and so I want to give some fair warning. 00:00:34.799 --> 00:00:41.280 If you have younger kids, it might be a little bit PG-13 at times, and you might have to explain some things you're not ready to explain. 00:00:41.439 --> 00:00:45.840 And so you can do with that as you wish. 00:00:46.719 --> 00:00:55.759 We started off saying in week one, talking about relational intelligence, that it's the skill of navigating relationships well. 00:00:56.000 --> 00:01:03.520 It's the wisdom of God who created and designed us of how to navigate and go about relationships well. 00:01:03.600 --> 00:01:08.000 And we said this that it's both counterintuitive and counterculture. 00:01:08.319 --> 00:01:14.319 Oftentimes, relational wisdom, relational intelligence is counterintuitive and countercultural. 00:01:14.560 --> 00:01:24.159 And this morning we're wading into perhaps the most counter-cultural, counterintuitive subject relationally for us today. 00:01:24.480 --> 00:01:35.120 I think unfortunately the church hasn't always done a good job in communicating God's wisdom when it comes to our sexuality and our design. 00:01:35.840 --> 00:01:59.439 And I recognize also that for many as we talk about this, that this is a deeply personal, incredibly for some painful, difficult, emotional wounds, and even confusion as we talk about this. 00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:04.560 As I've been thinking about this and wrestling with, okay, how do we begin this conversation? 00:02:04.799 --> 00:02:05.760 I want to begin here. 00:02:05.840 --> 00:02:11.280 It's not the place I want to start, actually, but I think it's the place culturally where I have to start. 00:02:11.680 --> 00:02:21.919 Because I want us to just talk as a collective, as a as just people, learning how to follow and walk in the ways of Jesus. 00:02:23.439 --> 00:02:34.479 But I believe the church, the Capital C church, the Bride of Christ, unfortunately in our day has all too often become known for what we're against and what we're for. 00:02:34.719 --> 00:02:41.039 And when it's come to marriage and sexuality, the church has lost its influence. 00:02:42.080 --> 00:02:52.159 And part of the reason why is the Capital C church in America has tried to hold the world to conformity while not holding itself accountable. 00:02:53.680 --> 00:02:54.960 Now here's what's amazing. 00:02:55.039 --> 00:02:55.919 Now think about this. 00:02:56.000 --> 00:02:57.039 This is so incredible. 00:02:57.280 --> 00:03:09.680 In John's gospel, when he's trying to unpack for us who Jesus is, he's trying to help us understand who is this Messiah, he says this. 00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:16.159 He says, the word became flesh and made his dwelling among us, and we have seen his glory. 00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:20.080 Like we beheld the glory of the one and only. 00:03:20.319 --> 00:03:29.759 And then it says this line who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. 00:03:30.960 --> 00:03:34.080 Jesus is the fullness of both. 00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:44.479 He is not all grace, and he is not all truth, but embodied in the Son of God is the fullness of grace and truth. 00:03:44.639 --> 00:03:48.639 See, grace is just, you know, you come as you are, you stay where you are. 00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:50.080 I have news for you. 00:03:50.240 --> 00:03:53.439 Jesus says, come as you are, but I want to change you. 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:55.120 I want to transform you. 00:03:55.280 --> 00:03:58.479 I want to see a metamorphosis in you. 00:03:58.719 --> 00:04:01.199 And he's not all truth either. 00:04:02.319 --> 00:04:06.000 It's not, you just have to fix up your life and do better. 00:04:06.240 --> 00:04:10.879 He was grace embodied, and so he hung out with all, quote, all the wrong people. 00:04:11.039 --> 00:04:14.719 He died on the cross for, quote, all the wrong people. 00:04:14.879 --> 00:04:21.279 He had a reputation for hanging out with tax collectors and sinners and prostitutes and the like. 00:04:21.439 --> 00:04:24.000 And here's what's so amazing about Jesus. 00:04:25.920 --> 00:04:34.800 People who were nothing like Jesus really liked Jesus, really enjoyed hanging out with Jesus. 00:04:35.120 --> 00:04:36.720 They were drawn to him. 00:04:37.120 --> 00:04:39.759 All the quote, wrong people were drawn to him. 00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:42.959 What's fascinating is all the religious people were repelled by him. 00:04:43.519 --> 00:04:47.199 He was the fullness of grace and truth. 00:04:47.279 --> 00:05:02.160 And if you read the gospels carefully, what you'll find is when he came to someone who was far from God, he always led with grace and then followed with truth. 00:05:02.480 --> 00:05:08.240 He always led with compassion and then he followed with clarity. 00:05:08.720 --> 00:05:14.480 And then if you read it carefully, all the religious people, all the Pharisees, he reversed it. 00:05:15.360 --> 00:05:17.279 He led with truth. 00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:22.000 And as they responded to the truth, he followed with grace. 00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:40.480 Unfortunately, for us as the church, when it comes to this area, the church is really led with grace for those, or led with truth for those who are far away from God and never gotten around to the truth. 00:05:42.480 --> 00:05:56.079 And so the Capital C church has unfortunately said to a people that Jesus died for, came for, that they're not welcomed or loved. 00:05:56.480 --> 00:06:04.879 And so if you're in the LGBT community here, I want to say that you're welcomed in love in the name of Jesus. 00:06:06.160 --> 00:06:15.199 I believe the church should be the safest place to wrestle with questions that we the church need to be known for how we love. 00:06:15.439 --> 00:06:22.000 Now, how we love, listen to last week's sermon, we're gonna, that's how we define what it means to love. 00:06:22.959 --> 00:06:26.800 I believe loving the way Jesus loves is incredibly messy. 00:06:27.120 --> 00:06:32.879 It's not clear, it's it's it's not so you know boxed in the way we like it. 00:06:33.439 --> 00:06:38.720 And I believe when someone experiences the love of Jesus, they are changed by him. 00:06:39.199 --> 00:06:47.040 And so my prayer for us as a church is that we will be a church full of grace and truth. 00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:56.399 And yes, we at awakening hold to an historic orthodox Christian view of marriage and sexuality. 00:06:56.879 --> 00:07:05.839 As expressed in the New Testament, that marriage is a covenant commitment between one man and one woman for life. 00:07:06.240 --> 00:07:11.600 And our sexuality is designed to be expressed only within that covenant commitment. 00:07:12.079 --> 00:07:22.079 Here's what we believe: followers of Jesus, we are to bring our lives into obedience with that truth. 00:07:23.199 --> 00:07:37.519 And so the question before us this morning is how are followers of Jesus to go about relationships in a sexually confusing world? 00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:46.319 This isn't how everybody else is, and for many, you're going like, if that's what it means to follow Jesus, I might not follow Jesus after this, okay? 00:07:46.879 --> 00:07:54.800 How are followers of Jesus to go about relationships in a sexually complex, confusing world? 00:07:54.959 --> 00:08:00.399 The mantra when it comes to our sexuality today is it is just say it. 00:08:01.279 --> 00:08:05.279 Okay, I knew you were, I knew you were like, ooh, we had to break some of the tension in the room. 00:08:05.439 --> 00:08:06.639 You're like, okay, how are we going? 00:08:06.720 --> 00:08:07.839 Let's say it again together. 00:08:08.079 --> 00:08:09.839 It is just physical. 00:08:10.160 --> 00:08:10.959 Thank you. 00:08:11.519 --> 00:08:12.720 It's just physical. 00:08:12.959 --> 00:08:14.480 It's just physical. 00:08:14.720 --> 00:08:24.639 Listen, you have to test drive the car before you buy even, I mean, never mind. 00:08:24.720 --> 00:08:26.720 I'm the only I don't even want to go down that road. 00:08:26.800 --> 00:08:28.240 It's just like, come on. 00:08:29.199 --> 00:08:33.120 You just compared a human to a car, that's a whole nother story. 00:08:33.759 --> 00:08:37.120 I gotta find someone who's sexually compatible, Ryan. 00:08:38.480 --> 00:08:41.840 52% of singles have had a one-night stand. 00:08:42.000 --> 00:08:51.519 41% of singles, according to, yes, this is singlesinamerica.com, um, and it is a legitimate research that they've done, by the way. 00:08:51.759 --> 00:08:57.600 41% of singles have had a FWB, which I found out was Friends with Benefits. 00:08:58.000 --> 00:09:04.799 However, 32% of singles agree you have to be in love to have great sex. 00:09:06.080 --> 00:09:11.840 And 84% say sex is better when you are in love. 00:09:12.960 --> 00:09:19.120 How are followers of Jesus to go about relationships in these sexually confusing times? 00:09:19.279 --> 00:09:22.480 Well, then America's sexual ethic is saying this. 00:09:22.559 --> 00:09:30.240 It's simple, but it is profound and it's adopted not just by uh the culture, but it's adopted by followers of Jesus. 00:09:30.559 --> 00:09:32.879 My body, my rules. 00:09:33.279 --> 00:09:34.559 It's my body. 00:09:34.799 --> 00:09:38.000 I have the right to do with my body whatever I want. 00:09:38.159 --> 00:09:39.039 I make the rules. 00:09:39.120 --> 00:09:43.279 It's my body, and so they and it is then my rules. 00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:50.399 And the underlying belief under this says you are a sexual being with cravings, appetites, and desires. 00:09:50.559 --> 00:09:59.759 You have the right to fulfill that appetite with whomever you wish, however you wish, and whenever you wish, as long as it is consensual. 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:10.159 America's sexual ethic, my body, my rules, you are this sexual being that has these cravings and appetites and desires, just like any other appetite or craving. 00:10:10.320 --> 00:10:12.000 And so you have the right. 00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:16.320 No, in fact, it would go one step further than that. 00:10:16.960 --> 00:10:27.759 It would say to restrict one's appetite is both closed-minded and ignorant. 00:10:28.159 --> 00:10:33.519 You have the right with whomever you wish, however you wish. 00:10:34.559 --> 00:10:35.519 Now, C.S. 00:10:35.600 --> 00:10:50.720 Lewis actually wrote and spoke into this so poignantly, over 50 years ago, 70 years ago now, actually, almost, he says this like all powerful lies, it's based on a truth. 00:10:51.120 --> 00:10:54.000 Sex in itself is normal and healthy. 00:10:54.480 --> 00:11:04.159 The lie consists in the suggestion that any sexual act to which you're tempted at the moment is also healthy and normal. 00:11:05.679 --> 00:11:10.639 Now, we did this earlier in the series, so why don't we just go ahead and do it one more time? 00:11:11.440 --> 00:11:24.879 What if we just simply applied our sexual ethic and presupposition and beliefs about them being cravings connected to our other cravings and appetites and desires? 00:11:25.279 --> 00:11:30.159 Well, it's, you know, one, sex is not a base or core need. 00:11:30.240 --> 00:11:31.440 Let's just get that straight. 00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:37.440 I know some of you don't think that's true, but if you don't have water or food, you'll die. 00:11:38.720 --> 00:11:40.639 If you don't have sex, you will not die. 00:11:40.960 --> 00:11:42.399 Just thought I'd let you know that. 00:11:42.559 --> 00:11:46.879 Some of you thought you could not go out, go without. 00:11:47.120 --> 00:11:50.639 Now let's just apply this to our other appetite. 00:11:50.799 --> 00:11:52.480 Food, for example. 00:11:52.960 --> 00:11:59.279 Can you go back to that other uh the you have you're a sexual being slide for me? 00:11:59.360 --> 00:12:00.159 Thank you. 00:12:00.960 --> 00:12:06.559 With food, I have the right to fulfill that appetite whenever, however, I wish. 00:12:06.879 --> 00:12:10.480 As long as it's consensual, that doesn't really make sense with the food. 00:12:14.720 --> 00:12:19.120 And to restrict that appetite is closed-minded and oppressive. 00:12:19.600 --> 00:12:22.159 Here's what's funny about our food, isn't it? 00:12:22.399 --> 00:12:27.279 Too many of you are gluten-free to adopt that, or right? 00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:33.840 Hey, no, I'm I'm restricting carbs, um, clean eating, organic, naturally sourced. 00:12:34.080 --> 00:12:44.480 When it comes to our food, we are intentionally focused, restricting, knowing that, yeah, I can eat whatever I want whenever I want. 00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:55.360 However, it has a drastic impact on my health, and we apply that same principle to our sexuality. 00:12:56.080 --> 00:12:58.559 Let me dive a little bit deeper. 00:12:58.799 --> 00:13:02.399 Because it's just physical, is the mantra of our world. 00:13:02.720 --> 00:13:10.480 If it's just physical, why is there so much shame for those who've been sexually abused? 00:13:11.279 --> 00:13:12.799 If it's just physical. 00:13:34.639 --> 00:13:46.000 And if it's just physical, why is it that a woman is way more likely to report being mugged than being raped or molested? 00:13:47.759 --> 00:13:59.360 If it's just physical, why is it that sexually active teens are three times more likely to be depressed than those who abstain? 00:14:01.440 --> 00:14:12.799 You see, our sexual ethic of the day is undermining the desires and the core of who we're made to be. 00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:22.639 See, sex and sexuality has shifted from a physical expression of love and intimacy to that of experiencing personal fulfillment. 00:14:22.799 --> 00:14:29.120 The result is we live in a society that is saturated with sex, yet starving for intimacy. 00:14:30.080 --> 00:14:33.200 The old adage is more true today than it's ever been. 00:14:33.279 --> 00:14:35.440 It's easier to find a lover than a friend. 00:14:36.080 --> 00:14:42.240 And the root issue is we have compartmentalized our sexuality and our spirituality. 00:14:44.159 --> 00:14:47.919 You this take this in. 00:14:48.720 --> 00:14:54.960 You are sexual and spiritual at the same time. 00:14:55.600 --> 00:15:00.000 In fact, you don't have to check your spirituality at the door when you walked in here. 00:15:00.720 --> 00:15:05.200 Some of you are like, no, no, no, in this room I'm spiritual, and over here I'm sexual. 00:15:06.320 --> 00:15:14.000 The gospel says that your sexuality and gender is important, but it's not the most important thing about you. 00:15:15.120 --> 00:15:37.360 In fact, in an identity dysphoric culture, as we have attached ultimate value, meaning, personhood to our sexuality, the gospel speaks loudly into this and says, no, no, no, your identity in Jesus Christ is the most important thing about you. 00:15:40.240 --> 00:15:46.879 And so we have to once again marry sexuality and spirituality. 00:15:47.039 --> 00:15:48.720 Why God invented it? 00:15:49.440 --> 00:15:52.080 Some of you are like, I God's a prude. 00:15:52.159 --> 00:15:55.440 No, he's the one that invented it, it was his idea. 00:15:55.600 --> 00:15:56.399 So guess what? 00:15:56.559 --> 00:16:03.679 He has the best thoughts and wisdom in how we are to express our sexuality. 00:16:04.879 --> 00:16:11.679 And so, how do we reintegrate our sexuality and our spirituality? 00:16:11.840 --> 00:16:20.399 How do we marry these once more as a people to become whole, to experience life in this area? 00:16:20.639 --> 00:16:26.639 What's amazing is the apostle Paul spoke to this issue almost 2,000 years ago. 00:16:26.720 --> 00:16:41.679 In fact, as we read it today, you would think he's writing to us, and he's writing to this church in Corinth, and it's actually they're dealing and wrestling with the same things we are today. 00:16:42.320 --> 00:16:53.600 It's funny, in our modern arrogance, we think we are so progressive and advanced, and yet the mantra, it's just physical, has been around for thousands of years. 00:16:53.840 --> 00:16:58.320 If you got your Bible, would you open up to 1 Corinthians chapter 6? 00:16:59.279 --> 00:17:04.319 1 Corinthians chapter 6, verse 12. 00:17:05.119 --> 00:17:08.319 And here's what the apostle Paul's gonna do. 00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:15.920 He's gonna start with the philosophical uh assumptions of the day of the city, then he's gonna move and he's just gonna apply logic. 00:17:16.240 --> 00:17:20.799 It's not even something really deep and profound, logical, you'll look at that and go, yeah, that's true. 00:17:20.960 --> 00:17:31.279 Then he's gonna move to theologically why we have to once again marry spirituality and our sexuality together, and then he's gonna bring it home real practically for us. 00:17:31.359 --> 00:17:37.039 So let's start philosophically or logically, if you will, marrying sexuality and spirituality. 00:17:37.119 --> 00:17:44.319 Here's what he says, and he's gonna give us, he's gonna say the right to do whatever you want doesn't make whatever you want right. 00:17:44.720 --> 00:17:48.559 The right to do whatever you want doesn't make whatever you want right. 00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:49.839 Notice what he says. 00:17:50.079 --> 00:17:52.640 I have the right to do anything. 00:17:54.559 --> 00:17:59.039 You say it was a philosophy of the day, it was the philosophy of corn. 00:17:59.519 --> 00:18:01.119 I have the right to do anything. 00:18:01.359 --> 00:18:03.359 Doesn't that sound American to you? 00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:09.680 I have the right to do anything, I can sleep with whoever I want, whenever I want, however I want. 00:18:10.319 --> 00:18:12.400 Don't you dare tell me. 00:18:14.000 --> 00:18:16.319 I have the right to do anything I want. 00:18:16.559 --> 00:18:24.400 You say now notice this, but not everything is, and would you say this with me, beneficial. 00:18:25.759 --> 00:18:26.400 Yeah. 00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:30.880 I can eat whatever I want, but not all that I eat is beneficial. 00:18:31.039 --> 00:18:32.000 We get that. 00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:42.640 The right to do whatever I want does not make whatever I want right or good or beneficial. 00:18:43.200 --> 00:18:45.440 And here's what we've done. 00:18:46.400 --> 00:18:50.079 We think the question is, do I have the right to? 00:18:50.559 --> 00:18:52.319 The apostle Paul says, no, no, no. 00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:54.720 The question is, is it beneficial? 00:18:55.839 --> 00:18:58.960 Some of you are going, well, I want to demand my rights. 00:18:59.119 --> 00:18:59.759 Fantastic. 00:18:59.920 --> 00:19:00.880 You have the right to do it. 00:19:00.960 --> 00:19:02.240 We live in America, you're free. 00:19:02.400 --> 00:19:03.839 The question isn't, do you have the right? 00:19:03.920 --> 00:19:05.200 The question is it good? 00:19:05.440 --> 00:19:06.880 Is it beneficial? 00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:08.720 Is it helpful? 00:19:11.759 --> 00:19:24.799 Did you know, the research says, you can argue with research, abstaining from sex before marriage yields to the highest rates of fidelity in marriage as well as the highest overall sexual satisfaction? 00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:33.839 Did you know that those married, on average, have more sex than those who are single, as well as more adventurous sex with their partners? 00:19:34.079 --> 00:19:36.640 You know, there's this lie that marriage sex is boring. 00:19:36.799 --> 00:19:37.519 News flash. 00:19:37.599 --> 00:19:39.119 I just well, I'm just talking about mine. 00:19:39.279 --> 00:19:40.079 It's not. 00:19:41.920 --> 00:19:44.640 You're like, please don't, please don't. 00:19:47.119 --> 00:19:48.319 Did you know? 00:19:50.960 --> 00:19:58.960 Living together or cohabitating leads to 50% more likelihood of divorce than not. 00:20:00.079 --> 00:20:02.960 You have the right to do whatever you want. 00:20:04.799 --> 00:20:09.440 But it doesn't make whatever you want right or good or beneficial. 00:20:09.680 --> 00:20:11.599 The question isn't, do I have the right? 00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:13.759 The question, is it beneficial? 00:20:14.079 --> 00:20:20.000 Would you begin to ask a better question for your life, a better question for your sexuality? 00:20:20.160 --> 00:20:26.000 Then he goes on and he's gonna move from our rights then to an idea about freedom. 00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:34.960 Now here's what he's gonna say: he's gonna say, self-control, not self-indulgence, is a mark of freedom. 00:20:35.759 --> 00:20:40.000 Self-control, not self-indulgence is a mark of freedom. 00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:41.119 Notice what he says. 00:20:41.359 --> 00:20:42.960 I have the right to do anything. 00:20:43.119 --> 00:20:44.640 He goes back to their mantra. 00:20:44.799 --> 00:20:46.000 It's just physical. 00:20:46.160 --> 00:20:47.599 I can do whatever I want. 00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:53.359 Now notice this, but I will not be mastered by anything. 00:20:53.839 --> 00:20:58.480 You say food for the stomach and stomach for the food, and God will destroy them both. 00:20:58.559 --> 00:21:07.519 You notice they're making the same argument of cravings and appetites, saying it's just an appetite to be fulfilled. 00:21:08.559 --> 00:21:17.359 Now, listen, freedom is actually more about the ability to say yes than it is the ability to say no. 00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:28.400 In our culture, we have redefined freedom as the ability to say yes to whatever we want, whenever we want, what we desire in the moment. 00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:33.359 And however, self-control, not self-indulgence, is a mark of freedom. 00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:39.440 See, when I have the ability to say no, I am not mastered by anything. 00:21:40.640 --> 00:21:42.480 Let's stick with the food illustration. 00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:44.559 We'll take sugar, for example. 00:21:46.079 --> 00:21:51.759 If I cannot say no to sugar, then I'm not free from sugar. 00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:54.319 I am mastered by sugar. 00:21:55.519 --> 00:21:59.759 I can spin it to say I'm free to eat all the sugar I want. 00:22:03.440 --> 00:22:07.279 But the truth is, I'm not free at all. 00:22:08.640 --> 00:22:10.480 Because I cannot say no. 00:22:12.880 --> 00:22:15.359 That is what we've done with sexuality. 00:22:16.400 --> 00:22:20.079 That is what we've done in our culture today. 00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:26.000 I'm free to look at all the pornography that I want. 00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:28.000 No, you're not. 00:22:28.880 --> 00:22:31.599 You're not free to do otherwise. 00:22:32.799 --> 00:22:36.319 I'm free to sleep with whoever I want whenever I want. 00:22:36.480 --> 00:22:37.599 No, you're not. 00:22:39.119 --> 00:22:47.039 Because I listen, as a pastor, and I've been I'm going on almost two decades of pastoring. 00:22:47.119 --> 00:23:01.119 I've had so many heart, like felt painful conversations with people who are hooked and stuck in slavery to their sexuality, to pornography, that long for that freedom and they're not able to say no. 00:23:01.279 --> 00:23:10.960 And Paul says self-control, the ability to say no, not self-indulgence, just being able to say yes, is a mark of freedom. 00:23:11.200 --> 00:23:12.000 And he goes on. 00:23:12.319 --> 00:23:14.160 So he starts philosophical. 00:23:14.400 --> 00:23:16.000 I have the right to do whatever I want. 00:23:16.079 --> 00:23:17.920 It just doesn't make whatever I want right. 00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:22.079 Self-control, not self-indulgence, is a mark of freedom. 00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:24.799 Then he's going to move it theological. 00:23:26.160 --> 00:23:27.759 And this is so important. 00:23:28.160 --> 00:23:29.839 This is so profound. 00:23:30.079 --> 00:23:35.279 This is where we make this grand disconnect with our sexuality and spirituality. 00:23:35.359 --> 00:23:40.559 And he says this all of you, not just part of you, is meant for God. 00:23:41.200 --> 00:23:45.680 All of you, not just part of you, is meant for God. 00:23:45.839 --> 00:23:46.640 Notice what he says. 00:23:46.799 --> 00:23:52.000 The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord. 00:23:52.400 --> 00:23:52.960 Whoa. 00:23:53.440 --> 00:23:54.799 Did you catch that? 00:23:55.119 --> 00:24:01.599 And we're gonna unpack and define sexual immorality in just a minute, but but just hang with me here. 00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:06.960 The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality. 00:24:07.039 --> 00:24:14.720 Now, what we would think he would say right after that moment is but for like sexual chastity or purity or or or whatever. 00:24:14.960 --> 00:24:16.720 And he doesn't. 00:24:17.519 --> 00:24:21.279 He says the body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for who? 00:24:22.240 --> 00:24:23.200 The Lord. 00:24:23.440 --> 00:24:28.000 And the Lord for the body, then he makes a theological argument. 00:24:29.200 --> 00:24:35.279 By his power, God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 00:24:37.279 --> 00:24:45.039 Jesus was not raised merely spiritually from the dead, he was raised physically, bodily as well. 00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:59.759 That we too will have a physical resurrection from the dead, and that our bodies aren't intended for this earth, but our bodies are intended, heart, soul, and mind, all of us for the Lord. 00:25:01.680 --> 00:25:05.680 See, all of you, not just part of you, is meant for God. 00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:17.759 The philosophy at the day is Greek philosophy that was embraced is this dualism, that your body was evil and your spirit was good. 00:25:18.720 --> 00:25:23.039 And so you're what mattered is the spirit and the body didn't matter. 00:25:23.200 --> 00:25:27.200 You can do with your body whatever you want, and it doesn't impact the spirit. 00:25:27.279 --> 00:25:38.480 And Paul's saying, nah, all of you, all of you, not just part of you, is meant for your creator. 00:25:38.880 --> 00:25:41.119 Christopher West said it so beautifully. 00:25:41.200 --> 00:25:51.680 He said, the sexual confusion, so prevalent in our world and in our own hearts, is simply the human desire for heaven, gone berserk. 00:25:54.079 --> 00:25:57.839 And so here's what he's saying. 00:25:58.079 --> 00:26:05.920 If all of us, not just part of us, is meant for God, then sex is more than just about sex. 00:26:08.960 --> 00:26:11.839 There's something deeper there. 00:26:13.839 --> 00:26:20.400 This is why he would go on to say, flee, run from sexual immorality. 00:26:20.720 --> 00:26:24.720 All other sins a person commits are outside their body. 00:26:26.079 --> 00:26:31.680 But whoever sins sexually sins against their own body. 00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:46.000 Something we all have seen, and some and many have experienced the pain and the regret and the shame and the hurt and that comes sexually. 00:26:46.240 --> 00:26:49.599 He wrote over 2,000 years ago. 00:26:50.960 --> 00:26:57.519 Sins against our own body, because sex is more than just about sex. 00:26:58.559 --> 00:27:01.039 Well, what is this sexual immorality? 00:27:01.119 --> 00:27:07.599 I think when we think about this idea and sexual immorality, it's like woo, like okay, adultery, right? 00:27:07.680 --> 00:27:10.079 Um I mean, we go to the extremes. 00:27:10.160 --> 00:27:11.839 This is the Greek word pornea. 00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:18.079 Uh it's the broadest term for anything that is outside of God's design for sex. 00:27:19.279 --> 00:27:25.839 And so, sleeping together with your girlfriend or boyfriend is sexual immorality. 00:27:26.160 --> 00:27:32.000 Porn and taking in movies that are erotic is sexual immorality. 00:27:32.240 --> 00:27:39.119 An emotional affair with another person who's not your spouse is sexual immorality. 00:27:45.839 --> 00:27:54.799 You see, what we need to recapture is this vision for our sexuality. 00:27:57.200 --> 00:28:13.359 That sex was designed by God to express oneness with another person, and it's actually this picture of the intimacy we are created to have with our creator. 00:28:14.319 --> 00:28:16.799 I like the way Tim Keller said it. 00:28:16.880 --> 00:28:26.240 He said, sex is a God-invented way to say to another person, I belong completely and exclusively and permanently to you. 00:28:27.119 --> 00:28:32.880 And so he says, Man, God says, I created this. 00:28:33.599 --> 00:28:35.119 I'm not down on it. 00:28:35.279 --> 00:28:36.400 It's awesome. 00:28:36.559 --> 00:28:44.720 And the context is within a covenant-committed relationship called marriage between one man and one woman for life. 00:28:45.759 --> 00:28:50.720 And outside of that, it will create great harm and pain. 00:28:54.720 --> 00:29:01.039 And it's a way to express the oneness that I've made you for, but it's so much deeper than that. 00:29:01.119 --> 00:29:07.440 It's a way for you to get a glimpse of actually how I've made you to be in relationship with me. 00:29:08.319 --> 00:29:11.759 This is why he says, flee from it, run from it. 00:29:12.319 --> 00:29:28.160 Like anything outside of God's design, anything that's pulling you away, like our world, our dating world, our like the is the mantra, like the progression is you know, you hook up, you shack up, and then you break up and then repeat, and that's what you do. 00:29:28.240 --> 00:29:38.400 You just, you know, dating is expected, you have sex, and so you hook up and then you uh eventually shack up because you're sleeping together, might as well live together, and then eventually you break up and you repeat and you go through it. 00:29:38.480 --> 00:29:45.440 And he says, No, no, no, I have a vision for your life and your sexuality, and I long for you to embrace it for your good. 00:29:47.440 --> 00:29:51.519 Not because I'm trying to keep you from fun, I'm trying to keep you from pain. 00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:57.759 And here's the thing we do we go, well, how if we're followers of Jesus, we're like, how close to the edge do we get? 00:29:58.000 --> 00:29:58.240 Right? 00:29:58.319 --> 00:29:59.519 How do how do I get here? 00:29:59.680 --> 00:30:01.440 Like, Ryan, here's my question. 00:30:01.599 --> 00:30:02.240 Okay, great. 00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:03.839 How far is too far? 00:30:04.079 --> 00:30:06.240 Okay, you know, is heavy petting too far? 00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:07.920 You're like, did you just say that in church? 00:30:08.079 --> 00:30:11.039 Okay, and like, how far is too far? 00:30:11.119 --> 00:30:12.400 And I just get to this edge. 00:30:12.480 --> 00:30:14.319 And Paul says, No, no, no, run. 00:30:14.960 --> 00:30:20.559 Get your running shoes on, put them on, and go, you know what, how close can I get to Jesus? 00:30:20.720 --> 00:30:21.599 That's the question. 00:30:21.839 --> 00:30:31.440 Wrong question, not how far is too far, how close, Jesus, how close Jesus, and then you just look around yourself, singles, as you run after Jesus, who's running at the same pace with you? 00:30:32.400 --> 00:30:34.319 That's a great marrying person. 00:30:35.119 --> 00:30:39.039 Because sex is more than just about sex. 00:30:39.680 --> 00:30:42.799 And then he gives you a picture, he gives me a picture. 00:30:43.119 --> 00:30:47.920 It's something that you've probably never thought about your body before. 00:30:48.640 --> 00:30:56.000 And yet it's so true, and if you really get it, it will change the way you think about your body. 00:30:56.400 --> 00:31:01.279 He says this your body is the temple of God. 00:31:02.799 --> 00:31:17.279 Your body, your body isn't just a random body, it's the temple of God. 00:31:17.680 --> 00:31:18.720 Notice what he says. 00:31:18.880 --> 00:31:27.279 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you receive from God? 00:31:28.079 --> 00:31:35.920 The picture, the same way in the Old Testament, the people would come to the temple to meet with God, and that the Spirit of God resided there. 00:31:36.079 --> 00:31:50.000 He's saying, Now, because of the finished work of Jesus, when you place your faith in him, the Spirit of God, the same spirit that raised Christ from the dead, is now deposited and dwells in you. 00:31:50.160 --> 00:31:54.799 That you're not just in anybody, you are a spirit-filled body. 00:31:56.480 --> 00:32:01.759 Then he says, This you are not your own. 00:32:03.519 --> 00:32:06.559 No, no, no, my body, my rules. 00:32:07.599 --> 00:32:09.680 It's fantastic, follower of Jesus. 00:32:09.839 --> 00:32:11.359 You are not your own. 00:32:11.680 --> 00:32:12.319 Why? 00:32:12.880 --> 00:32:16.160 You were bought at a great price. 00:32:17.519 --> 00:32:31.759 The Son of God hung and bled and died to buy you back, to bring you from death into life, from an enemy of God to a son and daughter of the King Most High. 00:32:32.480 --> 00:32:40.240 Therefore, in light of that, I will honor God with my body. 00:32:43.440 --> 00:32:47.200 And so, follower Jesus. 00:32:49.680 --> 00:32:57.920 When you step into a relationship, when you invite him to be the savior and the Lord of your life, this is what you're saying. 00:32:58.160 --> 00:33:05.759 I am laying down my rights, my preferences, my desires, and my sexuality at the foot of the cross. 00:33:06.319 --> 00:33:10.319 I am going to follow you, Jesus, and your ways. 00:33:10.720 --> 00:33:14.880 I am no longer my own, but I am yours. 00:33:15.039 --> 00:33:17.279 And so, Jesus, you get a call the shots. 00:33:17.440 --> 00:33:20.720 That is what it means to be a follower of Jesus. 00:33:21.200 --> 00:33:26.880 And so, singles, would you refuse the hookup culture? 00:33:27.759 --> 00:33:33.279 Men and women alike that are medicating with porn. 00:33:34.559 --> 00:33:36.960 Would you come out of hiding? 00:33:39.359 --> 00:33:41.119 Would you get help? 00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:44.799 And go, no, no, no, not my way, but your way. 00:33:45.039 --> 00:33:45.920 Married. 00:33:49.200 --> 00:33:52.480 Would you not supplement your sex life? 00:33:53.839 --> 00:34:02.160 Maybe with emotional conversations or outside things. 00:34:02.480 --> 00:34:03.359 Dating. 00:34:05.680 --> 00:34:09.760 You don't have to move in together to be together. 00:34:11.599 --> 00:34:13.039 Same sex attraction. 00:34:14.400 --> 00:34:18.960 Where you would say, I'm gonna deny myself. 00:34:19.760 --> 00:34:24.800 Pick up my cross, which I understand is incredibly painful. 00:34:27.440 --> 00:34:28.400 Follow you. 00:34:30.800 --> 00:34:31.840 You know, it's interesting. 00:34:31.920 --> 00:34:39.360 I have some good friends who are deep, wonderful followers of Jesus, who are gay and who are honoring God with their sexuality. 00:34:39.519 --> 00:34:46.400 And this one friend was telling me that one of his fears was to die alone. 00:34:48.320 --> 00:34:59.360 As he is chosen a life of celibacy, and he says, you know, this is where when we talk about family and the church, it's gotta mean something. 00:34:59.920 --> 00:35:09.519 And where the church has really got to return to being the family of God for every person who are followers of Jesus. 00:35:09.840 --> 00:35:12.079 Sam Albery writes on this. 00:35:12.400 --> 00:35:16.239 He's a Christian who's gay, honoring God with his sexuality. 00:35:16.320 --> 00:35:20.559 He says we need to recognize the cost of discipleship for everyone. 00:35:20.800 --> 00:35:28.159 For many in our churches, the cost of discipleship for the LGBT background people looks cruel and unusual. 00:35:28.400 --> 00:35:34.400 I suspect in most cases that it's because we're not counting the cost of discipleship in other areas of life. 00:35:34.719 --> 00:35:41.760 Jesus says, all of us have to say a profound no to some of our deepest longings and intuitions. 00:35:42.079 --> 00:35:43.920 That is discipleship. 00:35:44.159 --> 00:35:47.440 Jesus says it up front, he doesn't bury it in the small print. 00:35:47.679 --> 00:35:55.039 The wonderful paradox of the Christian faith is as we deny self, we become our real selves. 00:35:55.920 --> 00:36:00.480 This is what it means to follow Jesus. 00:36:01.840 --> 00:36:06.320 Deborah Hirsch in her book, a great book, I'd encourage you to read it, Redeeming Sex. 00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:09.360 It's worth just the opening of her story. 00:36:09.519 --> 00:36:11.599 Like I cried the introduction. 00:36:11.679 --> 00:36:12.960 I mean, I just read it and wept. 00:36:13.039 --> 00:36:17.199 I was just like, oh my gosh, and seeing how God has redeemed her life. 00:36:17.519 --> 00:36:21.039 Every human being on the planet is sexually broken. 00:36:21.440 --> 00:36:24.239 Everybody's orientation is disoriented. 00:36:24.400 --> 00:36:29.519 It's not saying I'm not coming up here going like I have it all together. 00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:32.639 So let me start with my sexual brokenness. 00:36:34.480 --> 00:36:39.199 When I was a teenager, I got hooked on pornography. 00:36:40.719 --> 00:36:44.320 I brought that darkness into my marriage. 00:36:44.480 --> 00:36:47.119 It brought incredible pain and heartache. 00:36:47.360 --> 00:36:53.840 And it's been a journey and a process of God restoring and redeeming and bringing freedom in my life. 00:36:54.000 --> 00:36:57.360 And still to this day, lust is a struggle in my life. 00:36:57.440 --> 00:36:58.880 And I'd love to say healed. 00:36:58.960 --> 00:37:01.119 When I see a girl, I don't think have any thoughts. 00:37:01.280 --> 00:37:08.159 No, I'm a red-blooded man who's heterosexual, has thoughts, and I'm being daily redeemed by his grace. 00:37:10.400 --> 00:37:11.039 Broken. 00:37:13.920 --> 00:37:14.559 Broken. 00:37:17.360 --> 00:37:19.519 We are broken. 00:37:20.800 --> 00:37:31.679 Repentance involves accepting our broken condition and looking to the Savior, Jesus, to fill our gaps. 00:37:32.320 --> 00:37:34.880 We can't have it on our own terms. 00:37:35.199 --> 00:37:40.320 We have to accept God's perspective on the human condition. 00:37:42.079 --> 00:37:43.199 Your body. 00:38:00.239 --> 00:38:04.079 Even though it's been pushed down, you already knew that. 00:38:04.639 --> 00:38:11.280 It's never been just physical, and so I will honor God with my body. 00:38:15.440 --> 00:38:30.960 No longer will I say, I have my sexuality over here and my spirituality over here, but I have me who God created fully spiritual, fully sexual, and those are actually to work together. 00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:34.000 So let me give you just a little bit of application. 00:38:34.079 --> 00:38:36.960 What does it look like to honor God with your body? 00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:39.920 Singles were a church with 60% singles. 00:38:40.079 --> 00:38:47.199 Singles contrary to public opinion, you are not incomplete. 00:38:50.079 --> 00:38:51.360 You're not lacking. 00:38:59.599 --> 00:39:01.760 Everybody has someone to love but me. 00:39:01.920 --> 00:39:03.360 If you're single, this is what you feel. 00:39:03.440 --> 00:39:07.440 You're wrestling with this, and I just, you know, I need somebody to complete me. 00:39:08.320 --> 00:39:12.880 Here's the beautiful reality of our Savior. 00:39:13.199 --> 00:39:23.039 Jesus, fully God, fully human, which meant fully sexual, was single but not incomplete. 00:39:23.599 --> 00:39:29.360 Paul, the apostle who wrote what we're writing, was single and not incomplete. 00:39:29.519 --> 00:39:35.840 Christianity was actually the first religion ever to elevate singleness. 00:39:39.440 --> 00:39:44.559 And you can be single, and it does not exclude deep levels of intimacy. 00:39:44.800 --> 00:39:53.760 And some are single because of circumstance, some are single because of choice, out of honor for God, others are single out of calling. 00:39:53.920 --> 00:40:00.800 And you can live a full and fulfilled life apart from your sexuality. 00:40:01.599 --> 00:40:07.360 Like it, there's the deep, the pointing of that is the deep levels of intimacy. 00:40:07.679 --> 00:40:13.679 And it says you don't have to find someone to complete you, you are complete in Christ. 00:40:14.719 --> 00:40:18.639 Dating, if you're dating in the room, would you refuse to settle? 00:40:19.280 --> 00:40:21.280 Would you refuse to settle? 00:40:21.760 --> 00:40:24.239 You go on a date, sex is expected. 00:40:24.480 --> 00:40:25.760 You don't want to be weird. 00:40:25.920 --> 00:40:26.880 I get it. 00:40:27.440 --> 00:40:28.719 Would you refuse to settle? 00:40:28.800 --> 00:40:32.079 Would you say, no, no, no, I'm gonna honor God with my body? 00:40:34.159 --> 00:40:35.360 What does that look like? 00:40:35.599 --> 00:40:41.679 Where you would put some boundaries in your life where you say, I'm gonna run, I'm gonna flee, I'm gonna run, I'm not gonna have this. 00:40:41.760 --> 00:40:44.320 I got this from my old youth pastor, I still use it to this day. 00:40:44.480 --> 00:40:45.280 Dating guidelines. 00:40:45.519 --> 00:40:48.400 We're just gonna go through this quick because we don't have a lot of time on this. 00:40:48.559 --> 00:40:58.159 But would you say, here's some boundaries that I'm gonna put in place that are gonna keep me far from that, like anywhere close to that boundary line for my own good? 00:40:58.400 --> 00:41:00.079 First area, the bikini rule. 00:41:00.159 --> 00:41:02.960 If you're dating, would you refuse to settle? 00:41:03.199 --> 00:41:07.280 Go, I'm not gonna touch any area that's in the bikini area, male or female. 00:41:08.639 --> 00:41:10.239 Okay, you get the biggest. 00:41:13.440 --> 00:41:18.960 I am not going to, as this uh Song of Psalms says, awaken love before it's time. 00:41:19.199 --> 00:41:23.679 The age factor, if you're dating, would you not get horizontal? 00:41:24.639 --> 00:41:25.039 Right? 00:41:25.280 --> 00:41:28.639 You get horizontal, you're watching a movie, just kind of slide down. 00:41:30.400 --> 00:41:35.840 God created you this way, it's gonna be anyways. 00:41:37.199 --> 00:41:43.199 The bikini factor, the age factor, third one, nothing good happens after midnight. 00:41:45.119 --> 00:41:53.199 The later it gets into the night, the lower uh your inhibitions or the higher you know what I'm saying. 00:41:54.960 --> 00:41:56.400 Your ability to say no. 00:41:57.519 --> 00:41:59.840 You're like lots of good things happen after midnight. 00:42:03.039 --> 00:42:04.639 But would you honor God with your body? 00:42:04.719 --> 00:42:06.159 And finally, Joe's secret weapon. 00:42:06.320 --> 00:42:11.840 Joe in the Bible, Joseph, he was pressured, Potiphar's wife, and what'd he do? 00:42:12.800 --> 00:42:13.440 He ran. 00:42:14.800 --> 00:42:20.159 And for some, you're in that moment, it gets heated, and the only thing you can do is run. 00:42:20.239 --> 00:42:24.639 And I encourage you, it may be weird, but it's worth it. 00:42:25.119 --> 00:42:25.760 Run. 00:42:28.400 --> 00:42:30.000 Singles, you're not incomplete. 00:42:30.159 --> 00:42:32.800 Dating, would you refuse to settle and married? 00:42:33.039 --> 00:42:34.880 Would you water your own grass? 00:42:35.920 --> 00:42:37.920 Would you water your own grass? 00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:44.880 Um, it's been said that if the grass is greener on the other side, it's time to water your grass. 00:42:48.800 --> 00:42:51.760 We look to the greener grass and go, I need to go over there. 00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:54.320 No, you're just doing a bad job watering. 00:42:56.320 --> 00:42:59.599 Get out your hose and start to water your grass. 00:43:00.880 --> 00:43:03.599 Stop looking at someone else's lawn and envying that. 00:43:03.679 --> 00:43:05.199 Just go on, you know what that means? 00:43:05.360 --> 00:43:07.199 We gotta water, honey. 00:43:14.159 --> 00:43:16.159 We have some good friends. 00:43:16.400 --> 00:43:18.960 It's been a season of heartache and pain. 00:43:19.199 --> 00:43:57.280 As we've watched friends of ours that are close, their marriage of 15, 20 years end in divorce, one, where um uh the wife ran off with another man, and we're just watching families being devastated, and like we're just heartbroken and trying to figure out how to walk alongside, and and so this is what my brother and I have been saying to each other water your grass. 00:43:58.400 --> 00:44:03.599 Because it's easy in the busyness of life to kind of go date nights to slip, right? 00:44:05.440 --> 00:44:10.480 It's easy to just get caught up with all the stuff that's going on and just go, you know what? 00:44:10.639 --> 00:44:12.960 Uh it, you know, we'll put that on the back burner. 00:44:13.280 --> 00:44:23.679 The kids need this, or work needs this, or and then what happens is the grass begins to get brown and you don't notice it, but then you start to notice someone else's grass, and you're like, huh. 00:44:25.679 --> 00:44:31.920 And so we've seen what we don't ever want to be, and so we just remind each other every once in a while. 00:44:33.199 --> 00:44:34.800 Water your grass. 00:44:36.960 --> 00:44:41.920 And so we, you know, make sure date nights with our spouses are a priority. 00:44:42.400 --> 00:44:44.880 Getting away every once in a while is a priority. 00:44:47.519 --> 00:44:48.480 Water your grass. 00:44:48.719 --> 00:44:50.400 Why don't you stand up and we'll closer? 00:45:00.559 --> 00:45:03.039 It's never been just physical. 00:45:04.159 --> 00:45:09.760 And so I will honor God with my body. 00:45:10.320 --> 00:45:15.679 Today, some of you have an incredible decision in front of you in a wrestling. 00:45:15.920 --> 00:45:18.239 And I want to invite you in that process. 00:45:18.480 --> 00:45:33.760 Would you would you make that moment like just sure where you go, I'm gonna write it down, I'm gonna come forward for prayer, and I'm gonna go, God, I'm in a place where I just you talked about that, I feel incredible shame and guilt, and there is no shame with God. 00:45:33.920 --> 00:45:34.960 He says, Come to me. 00:45:35.039 --> 00:45:38.639 I want to give you a brand new start, but you gotta come. 00:45:39.360 --> 00:45:40.719 Would you do that? 00:45:41.920 --> 00:45:47.440 May we be a people full of grace and truth. 00:45:48.000 --> 00:45:53.199 Next week, we conclude relational intelligence with you deserve to be happy. 00:45:53.679 --> 00:45:54.079 See you then.