WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:02.399 Welcome to the Awakening Church podcast. 00:00:02.560 --> 00:00:07.040 We pray this message encourages you and provides the hope and light of Jesus Christ. 00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:08.640 Thanks for tuning in. 00:00:19.280 --> 00:00:22.160 Today we're closing out our series called Bad Advice. 00:00:22.480 --> 00:00:23.280 This is week five. 00:00:23.359 --> 00:00:32.880 We've been in this series for five weeks, and what we've been doing is just simply looking at bad advice in our culture that undermines the very flourishing of our relationships. 00:00:33.039 --> 00:00:41.359 And here's the thing: all of us have this innate desire, uh longing, core value, need relationally. 00:00:41.520 --> 00:00:59.280 We said it, that your desire, my desire, whether you're extroverted, introverted, um, no matter what background you're from, is we long to have an intimate, life-giving, character-shaping relationship that has these rugged commitments to one another. 00:00:59.439 --> 00:01:06.719 We long for that to intimate, where you're known, like somebody truly knows you, and you really know them. 00:01:07.120 --> 00:01:11.439 Life-giving, like they're just refreshing, they fill your heart up. 00:01:11.760 --> 00:01:17.840 Character shaping, just being around them, you want to be a better person, being around them, you want to become more like Jesus. 00:01:18.159 --> 00:01:21.439 And you know they're in it with you through thick and thin. 00:01:21.519 --> 00:01:28.719 And here's what we said: how in the world do you have or experience those types of relationships, right? 00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:36.400 Doesn't it seem like that is like so it's our desire, but we can't quite experience it? 00:01:36.480 --> 00:01:40.959 It's often this carrot that's in front of us that we are tripping over, hoping. 00:01:41.120 --> 00:01:50.000 And what we said are these ideas that are pervasive in our culture, that's actually undermining the very flourishing of our relationships. 00:01:50.079 --> 00:02:00.400 Now, for the first four weeks, we've talked about different ideas or um beliefs that are applicable to just about every single relationship, right? 00:02:00.560 --> 00:02:09.120 So you're uh if you're married or a friend, if you're you know uh with your kids or with a coworker along those lines. 00:02:09.360 --> 00:02:23.039 Today we're going to zoom in as we close and talk about one of the most pervasive ideas in our culture when it comes to our relationships, more specifically in the area of intimacy and sexuality. 00:02:23.280 --> 00:02:28.080 And so you're like, okay, so that doesn't quite cover the friends thing or the kids thing. 00:02:28.240 --> 00:02:28.639 Got it. 00:02:28.879 --> 00:02:33.360 We're gonna zone in and it'll be a little bit of a shift from where we've been. 00:02:33.599 --> 00:02:38.800 And um, I know as we begin this conversation, I just want to start with this awareness. 00:02:38.960 --> 00:02:50.800 I know that uh one, we're all walking in from very different places, and we're all walking in, especially the minute you hear about intimacy or sexuality in church, when you're like, well, the pastor just said sex. 00:02:50.879 --> 00:02:51.680 Is that okay? 00:02:51.919 --> 00:02:54.240 Like, um awkward. 00:02:54.400 --> 00:02:57.360 Um, God invented it, yeah, it's okay. 00:02:57.840 --> 00:03:03.520 Um the second thing, and my mom's in the second row, so that's a whole nother deal that's going on there. 00:03:03.759 --> 00:03:13.439 Um the second thing is the reality that we all come with with a story, right? 00:03:13.840 --> 00:03:35.840 We all come with moments of heartache and pain, and we're diving into some deep waters that I want to make sure that we traverse and walk through wisely and well with tenderness and care, and at the same time bringing along God's wisdom so that we can really flourish in these areas. 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:40.639 And so today we're gonna be talking about it's just physical. 00:03:41.039 --> 00:03:45.360 Now, last week I said um turn to your neighbor and say, just love me. 00:03:45.680 --> 00:03:47.280 I'm not gonna do that today. 00:03:47.439 --> 00:03:54.000 That's that that would be some of you are like, come on, Ryan. 00:03:54.560 --> 00:03:56.319 I wish you never mind. 00:03:56.560 --> 00:04:03.840 But the mantra, the mantra of our day, when it comes to our sexuality, when it comes to intimate, is it's just physical. 00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:06.400 We have to test drive before you buy. 00:04:06.560 --> 00:04:09.759 We gotta make sure we're sexually compatible. 00:04:09.919 --> 00:04:21.759 When we're talking with singles, the research that is done says 52% of singles have had a one-night stand, 41% have had, you know, an FWB or friends with benefits. 00:04:21.920 --> 00:04:26.240 And yet, at the same time, here's what's so fascinating about our core longing. 00:04:26.399 --> 00:04:35.600 Remember, getting back to that, 32% agree to have to have great sex, you have to be in love. 00:04:36.319 --> 00:04:41.920 And 84% say that sex is better when you are in love. 00:04:42.399 --> 00:04:48.879 Now, the mantra, it's just physical, comes from an American sexual ethic. 00:04:49.120 --> 00:04:59.519 I don't have time to unpack where it all began in our history, but the American sexual ethic goes like this: my body, my rules. 00:04:59.759 --> 00:05:04.319 My body, it's my body, and I get to make the rules. 00:05:04.480 --> 00:05:06.879 The modern dating progression goes something like this. 00:05:06.959 --> 00:05:10.959 So we're gonna hook up, and then you know, if that goes well, then we'll gonna shack up. 00:05:11.120 --> 00:05:22.879 And um, as long as that's going well, that's wonderful, and then eventually what happens is after hooking up, shacking up, then we break up, and then we just repeat, and we're on this endless cycle. 00:05:23.040 --> 00:05:28.800 Uh the American sexual ethic, My Body, My Rules, more specifically, goes like this: you're a sexual being. 00:05:28.879 --> 00:05:33.519 That's the fundamental truth about who you are, with cravings, appetites, and desires. 00:05:33.759 --> 00:05:43.120 You have the right to fulfill that appetite with whomever you wish, however you wish, and wherever you wish, or whenever you wish, as long as it is consensual. 00:05:43.279 --> 00:05:45.600 It's an appetite, it's a craving. 00:05:45.920 --> 00:05:58.879 And it even goes further, and then you have the right to, it's in fact, to restrict that appetite, to restrict that desire is both oppressive and closed-minded, right? 00:05:59.040 --> 00:06:02.399 Like, God forbid you ever restrict yourself. 00:06:02.560 --> 00:06:03.839 Now, here's what's fascinating. 00:06:04.079 --> 00:06:04.160 C. 00:06:04.319 --> 00:06:04.399 S. 00:06:04.560 --> 00:06:11.839 Lewis, uh, this is 70 years ago, wrote a book called Mere Christianity, and he addresses this. 00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:16.480 So, literally 70 years ago, 1952 is when it came into print. 00:06:16.800 --> 00:06:23.839 He spoke on this over the airwaves, yes, the airwaves, 1942, during World War II, uh C. 00:06:24.000 --> 00:06:24.079 S. 00:06:24.160 --> 00:06:32.800 Lewis, who originally was an atheist trying to disprove Christianity, came to know Jesus and became one of the great apologetics and thinkers of the faith. 00:06:32.959 --> 00:06:42.160 During the crisis, they asked him to give all these incredible uh, you know, speeches about Christianity to give the nation of England hope. 00:06:42.319 --> 00:06:45.040 And this is where mere Christianity was born out of it. 00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:51.680 And what we think is our thinking and way of life, we think is so new and it's been around forever. 00:06:51.839 --> 00:06:52.560 And C.S. 00:06:52.720 --> 00:06:54.480 Lewis speaks to it so poignantly. 00:06:54.560 --> 00:06:55.519 Listen to what he says. 00:06:55.759 --> 00:06:59.199 Like all powerful lies, it's based on a truth. 00:06:59.360 --> 00:07:02.000 Sex in itself is normal and healthy. 00:07:02.480 --> 00:07:02.959 Why? 00:07:03.199 --> 00:07:04.720 Because God invented it. 00:07:04.959 --> 00:07:13.360 The lie consists in the suggestion that any sexual act to which you're tempted at the moment is also healthy and normal. 00:07:13.759 --> 00:07:16.959 That appetite fulfilled in any way you want. 00:07:17.279 --> 00:07:23.839 Now, let's let's apply this idea to our other appetites and our other cravings or our other needs. 00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:36.000 Now, now, first, um, just newsflash, um, sex is not a base or a core need, meaning that if you don't have sex, you you you won't die, right? 00:07:36.160 --> 00:07:38.639 If you don't have water, you don't have food, you'll die. 00:07:38.720 --> 00:07:45.040 And some of you are like, no, Ryan, really, I I truly believe that um I don't know if I'm going to live. 00:07:45.120 --> 00:07:56.560 So it's not a base core need, uh, but let's just move it over, like, and kind of connect it then like with food along those lines, and going, okay, I have the right, think about this. 00:07:56.720 --> 00:08:03.040 I have the right to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want, as long as it is consensual. 00:08:03.279 --> 00:08:05.759 Well, that part doesn't fit there. 00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:10.879 But here's what we know about food. 00:08:11.120 --> 00:08:28.480 Too many of you are gluten-free and keto to ever buy into that, and we understand that what we put into our bodies, we may have the right to intake all of those sort of things, but we actually restrict intentionally, knowing that it affects us profoundly, right? 00:08:29.279 --> 00:08:38.720 And um, I just came across this, um, and this I have a new, I there's times where I go vegan, there's times where I go keto, I'm like all over the map. 00:08:38.799 --> 00:08:42.240 Uh, and um, and now I have a new, I just came across this. 00:08:42.320 --> 00:08:43.600 This is fantastic. 00:08:43.840 --> 00:08:46.639 Um, did you know there's a flexitarian? 00:08:48.399 --> 00:08:50.399 Like, that describes me. 00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:52.799 I'm like, that's amazing. 00:08:53.679 --> 00:08:55.840 Um, yeah, my diet is flexible. 00:08:56.320 --> 00:08:58.240 Yeah, sometimes meat, sometimes not. 00:08:58.399 --> 00:09:01.440 I'm just a flexitarian there in that way. 00:09:02.080 --> 00:09:14.720 And here's what happens though is we understand it in this area, but we do not apply it in the area of our sexuality, and it creates such heartache and harm. 00:09:14.960 --> 00:09:20.240 Let's dive a little bit deeper if it's just physical, and I want to go to some deep waters here. 00:09:21.759 --> 00:09:29.519 If it's just physical, why is there so much shame for those who've been sexually abused? 00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:35.600 And I'm not saying that you should feel shame, and I know there's so many people who've walked through that. 00:09:36.480 --> 00:09:38.720 But why does it just come with it? 00:09:38.879 --> 00:09:48.720 Why is someone who is sexually assaulted far less likely to report it than those who've been mocked? 00:09:49.679 --> 00:09:53.360 There's just something more deeper there. 00:09:54.080 --> 00:10:00.159 Sadly, in our country, 30% of women report their first sexual experience not being voluntary. 00:10:00.480 --> 00:10:05.600 40% of girls under the age of 15 first sexual experience not wanted. 00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:10.159 20% of college women forced to have sex against their will. 00:10:11.120 --> 00:10:18.399 And our mantra, my body, my rules, has done such great harm to women in our culture. 00:10:19.279 --> 00:10:23.519 Years ago, when I was at college, um, young adults passed her. 00:10:23.600 --> 00:10:31.279 I remember a young woman, she was a college student that was away at college, but she came back and she wanted to meet. 00:10:31.759 --> 00:10:36.000 And she was telling me her story, which is heartbreaking. 00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:46.960 And she sat in my office, she's sharing, she was at a party, she got drunk, and this guy brought her upstairs, and she's saying no, no, no, and he just went. 00:10:48.240 --> 00:10:59.440 And she's talking about the shame and the feeling and all the things that were going on, and and then for her, she's like somehow trying to like, I just wanted to make it right. 00:10:59.519 --> 00:11:11.279 I just wanted to make it feel right, and I just didn't know what to do, so I went back and slept with him again to say somehow try to make it feel right for me because I felt so violated. 00:11:12.639 --> 00:11:30.080 And then in her hurt and brokenness, she shared it with her parents, and her dad's first response was not care or empathy or hurt, it was how could you do that? 00:11:30.240 --> 00:11:35.759 How could you put yourself in that situation because such a heartache? 00:11:39.440 --> 00:11:44.240 If it's just physical, why is it in such deep waters for us? 00:11:44.879 --> 00:11:51.440 Why are teenagers three times more likely to suffer depression than when they're sexually after that? 00:11:52.480 --> 00:12:23.519 Like we we have to understand, just like when we put stuff into our bodies and it has an effect that this has the same thing, that the American sexual ethic has shifted, that our sexuality from being a physical expression of love and intimacy to that of experiencing personal fulfillment, and the result is this it's a society saturated with sex, yet starving for love. 00:12:24.159 --> 00:12:25.759 Starving for intimacy. 00:12:26.320 --> 00:12:27.120 Isn't that true? 00:12:27.200 --> 00:12:28.559 I mean, isn't that one of those things? 00:12:28.639 --> 00:12:30.240 Like, it's saturated. 00:12:30.399 --> 00:12:36.000 The old adage, it's easier to find a lover than a friend, seems to be more true now than ever. 00:12:36.080 --> 00:12:37.840 It's saturated with sex. 00:12:39.519 --> 00:12:51.279 And yet, our hunger, that base core desire to experience intimate life-giving, character-shaping relationships that have this rugged commitment, like we're still starving for it. 00:12:53.039 --> 00:13:03.039 And the root, the root issue is that we have compartmentalized our sexuality and our spirituality. 00:13:03.360 --> 00:13:05.360 We've bifurcated them. 00:13:06.159 --> 00:13:09.200 And you walk in and you put on your spiritual hat, right? 00:13:09.279 --> 00:13:14.240 You come to church, and in fact, even the pastor talking about sex feels a little awkward. 00:13:14.480 --> 00:13:16.720 And you're like, oh my goodness, can we talk about here? 00:13:16.799 --> 00:13:17.039 Why? 00:13:17.120 --> 00:13:21.919 Because I put on my spiritual hat, and that that was Friday's hat, or that was Wednesday's, or that was other. 00:13:22.399 --> 00:13:33.840 I am have these separate worlds, and for us to experience the wholeness and the integration and the intimacy we long for and desire, we gotta move those back together. 00:13:34.559 --> 00:13:46.480 And the question I want us just simply to wrestle with is how are followers of Jesus to go about relationships in this sexually confusing world? 00:13:46.879 --> 00:13:50.960 Now, I'm not talking about those who aren't believers. 00:13:51.440 --> 00:13:56.240 I'm not talking about, you know, how is culture to go about this. 00:13:56.799 --> 00:14:05.679 Now, I believe since God created us, designed us, his design is ultimately what's very very best for every single human on the planet. 00:14:05.919 --> 00:14:16.480 But but the problem in the church is we so often try to hold other people to standards and not holding ourselves accountable or under God's word. 00:14:17.759 --> 00:14:18.720 How are we? 00:14:19.039 --> 00:14:20.639 Let's just deal with me. 00:14:20.960 --> 00:14:22.240 Let's deal with you. 00:14:22.879 --> 00:14:30.399 How are we as followers of Jesus to navigate and go about relationships in such a sexually confusing world? 00:14:30.559 --> 00:14:36.799 Or better yet, how do we integrate our sexuality and our spirituality? 00:14:37.279 --> 00:14:42.000 You know, the Apostle Paul wrote this incredible letter to the church in Corinth. 00:14:42.159 --> 00:14:49.200 And Corinth was this um this in this major metropolitan city. 00:14:49.279 --> 00:15:04.879 Um, ancient scholars who write about it said it was um scholars of antiquity rather, who write about it, uh said this, that Corinth was New York, LA, and Las Vegas all wrapped up into one city. 00:15:05.039 --> 00:15:07.759 So that kind of gives you that picture of it. 00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:20.879 I mean, when it when it comes to influence, when it comes to design, when it came to uh affluence, when it came to uh anything you can think about it, this big city, people from all over would travel here. 00:15:21.039 --> 00:15:30.879 In fact, it hosted the temple of um uh oh, I just went blank, um, not Artemis, that's Ephesian, Ephesus, the temple of Aphrodite. 00:15:31.039 --> 00:15:32.080 Is it another A1? 00:15:32.480 --> 00:15:39.200 It hosted the temple of Aphrodite, and so sexuality was central to the people in Corinth. 00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:47.200 In fact, it it would make, so I'm not saying all of Las Vegas is this way, but there's parts of Las Vegas that are a little seedy, right? 00:15:47.519 --> 00:16:01.600 Um I know there's family-friendly spots, so don't I'm not hating on Las Vegas by any means, but it would make the somewhat seedy spots of Las Vegas feel more family friendly. 00:16:01.840 --> 00:16:04.559 That was the culture in Corinth. 00:16:04.639 --> 00:16:14.080 And the Apostle Paul speaks into this in such a way when he's writing it, it sounds as if he's writing to us in our day. 00:16:14.399 --> 00:16:23.519 And the thing about it, isn't it true, is we kind of live with this historical snobbery that we think that we somehow are more enlightened and better and yada yada yada. 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:29.840 And actually, the reality is is we keep hitting the same things over and over again. 00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:35.759 And the apostle Paul begins to help us understand how do we integrate our spirituality and sexuality. 00:16:35.919 --> 00:16:39.039 If you got your Bibles, would you open up to 1 Corinthians chapter 6? 00:16:39.279 --> 00:16:42.159 1 Corinthians chapter 6, verse 12. 00:16:42.480 --> 00:16:54.240 First thing he's gonna tell us is right up front, and we've already touched on it a little bit, the right to do whatever you want doesn't make whatever you want right. 00:16:54.799 --> 00:16:55.679 You know that. 00:16:55.919 --> 00:17:00.159 The right to do whatever you want doesn't make whatever you want to do right. 00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:04.240 In fact, he says it this way I have the right to do anything you say. 00:17:04.319 --> 00:17:05.599 That's what the Corinthians are saying. 00:17:05.759 --> 00:17:06.319 I have the right. 00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:08.319 Doesn't that sound American? 00:17:08.960 --> 00:17:11.759 I have the right to do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whoever. 00:17:12.480 --> 00:17:14.799 This is the Corinthians like mantra. 00:17:14.880 --> 00:17:17.599 I have the right to do anything. 00:17:17.839 --> 00:17:20.480 And then he says, Yeah, that's true. 00:17:20.880 --> 00:17:25.440 But not everything is beneficial. 00:17:26.880 --> 00:17:31.440 See, in fact, the right to do whatever you want doesn't make whatever you want right. 00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:36.640 Right above that right, some of you are struggling, just write beneficial. 00:17:37.920 --> 00:17:43.279 It doesn't make whatever you want beneficial, it doesn't make whatever you want the best. 00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:58.079 You know, research, and we're gonna talk more about God's design, but research says abstaining from sex before marriage yields a higher rate of fidelity in marriage as well as the highest sexual satisfaction. 00:17:58.640 --> 00:18:02.160 It kind of blows the sexually compatibility myth, by the way. 00:18:02.319 --> 00:18:04.480 Like we have to make sure we're sexually compatible. 00:18:04.640 --> 00:18:06.559 Uh, you know, I gotta test drive the car. 00:18:06.640 --> 00:18:10.160 Okay, you just treated someone like a commodity, that's wrong. 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:24.400 Those who those married on average have more sex than those who are single, as well as more adventurous sex, that kind of whole idea, like you get married and you're sleeping with the same person over and over, and doesn't that get old and boring and dull? 00:18:24.640 --> 00:18:25.519 Well, research. 00:18:25.599 --> 00:18:30.079 This isn't Christian, this is just um unbiased research says this. 00:18:30.319 --> 00:18:36.240 Cohabitation before marriage leads to 50% higher divorce rate than though than those who don't. 00:18:36.400 --> 00:18:44.880 And so if you're going, like, you know, it's really expensive right here, and we're, you know, the culture is hook up and then shack up, and I mean, we gotta make sure we can live together. 00:18:45.039 --> 00:18:47.200 I don't know how they do the toothpaste. 00:18:47.839 --> 00:18:50.160 Squeeze in the middle or from the back? 00:18:50.640 --> 00:18:51.839 I don't know. 00:18:52.559 --> 00:19:00.079 I need to make sure the toilet paper roll is on the outside because that's God's intended way for the toilet paper roll to go. 00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:06.160 And so we have to live together because they can do it once, but I want to see if they do it all the time that way. 00:19:07.519 --> 00:19:09.279 It's so expensive. 00:19:10.400 --> 00:19:14.400 It just makes sense, it just would be easier. 00:19:16.240 --> 00:19:19.039 You have the right to do whatever you want, friends. 00:19:19.279 --> 00:19:25.279 It just doesn't make whatever you want right or best or beneficial ultimately. 00:19:25.519 --> 00:19:31.680 And God, in his heart and his design for you, is he's never wanting to withhold things from you. 00:19:31.759 --> 00:19:34.000 He's just only wanting your very best. 00:19:34.319 --> 00:19:41.759 I don't know if you remember when I said uh and when we kicked off the series in Live Your Truth, I gave the illustration of my daughter with the scissors. 00:19:41.839 --> 00:19:42.640 Do you remember this? 00:19:42.799 --> 00:19:51.440 And my daughter um was running around the corner with the scissors in her hand and the sharp end this way towards her eye, and it's like, don't! I grabbed the scissor out of her hand. 00:19:51.599 --> 00:19:52.079 Why? 00:19:52.319 --> 00:19:57.599 Because I'm an angry, mean dad that doesn't want my kid to have any fun. 00:19:58.880 --> 00:20:01.200 No, and we all know that. 00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:11.519 It's to keep her from harm because as much fun as she's having in the moment, harm, harm, near miss, near miss. 00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:15.839 And that's God's heart for you relationally. 00:20:15.920 --> 00:20:18.880 That's God's heart for you sexually. 00:20:19.119 --> 00:20:22.160 The right to do whatever you want doesn't make whatever you want right. 00:20:22.319 --> 00:20:25.279 Secondly, he's gonna redefine freedom. 00:20:25.440 --> 00:20:27.440 And and friends, let's be clear. 00:20:27.759 --> 00:20:38.640 How our culture has has actually redefined freedom, enlightenment forward, is very different than classically how freedom's been understood for much of human history. 00:20:38.720 --> 00:20:40.400 And here's what he says freedom is. 00:20:40.640 --> 00:20:45.839 He says, self-control, not self-indulgence, is a mark of freedom. 00:20:46.079 --> 00:20:49.839 I have the right to do anything, but I'll not be mastered by anything. 00:20:50.079 --> 00:20:55.039 You say, food for the stomach and stomach for the food, God will destroy them both. 00:20:55.279 --> 00:21:05.200 The Corinthians are using the same uh illustration we use all the time of, you know, food and cravings to be gratified. 00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:09.279 And our culture redefined freedom. 00:21:09.519 --> 00:21:15.440 And here's what freedom is the ability to say yes in our culture today. 00:21:15.680 --> 00:21:20.960 It's I I am able to say yes to that, yes to this, yes to that, yes to that. 00:21:21.279 --> 00:21:29.839 Historically, biblically, classically, freedom has been the ability to say no. 00:21:32.480 --> 00:21:38.799 See, if you can't help but say yes, you are mastered or controlled by that. 00:21:39.279 --> 00:21:43.519 You have no option or no ability to do otherwise. 00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:47.279 Um I love peanut MMs. 00:21:50.400 --> 00:21:59.839 Um and if they are in the house, I can't help it. 00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:10.960 I mean, literally, my son had some peanut MMs just for himself, and they were laying on the counter, and then I saw them, I knew they were his. 00:22:12.400 --> 00:22:14.319 I ate them anyways. 00:22:16.559 --> 00:22:18.319 And he's like, Dad, what happened? 00:22:18.400 --> 00:22:20.240 I'll buy you some new ones. 00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:22.079 Why? 00:22:22.400 --> 00:22:25.200 Because I cannot say no to Peanut MMs. 00:22:25.440 --> 00:22:25.920 I love them. 00:22:26.000 --> 00:22:28.640 If they're in the house, I'm going to eat them. 00:22:28.799 --> 00:22:35.759 Now, here's what I can say: I am free to eat as many Peanut M's as I can and as I want. 00:22:36.079 --> 00:22:36.799 True. 00:22:37.119 --> 00:22:38.319 The inverse is true. 00:22:38.480 --> 00:22:40.720 I am not free to do otherwise. 00:22:42.400 --> 00:22:47.680 See, so many of our yeses we don't realize, we're just simply mastered by it. 00:22:48.079 --> 00:22:59.279 Anyone who's gone through AA or NA or the likes of a recovery and addict addiction recovery, they know it, they experience it, and we think it's just being able to say yes. 00:22:59.359 --> 00:23:02.160 And he says, no, no, the ability to say no. 00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:06.000 It's actually true freedom. 00:23:06.480 --> 00:23:16.720 When I was in early junior high to high school, um, and into my college days, I got addicted to pornography. 00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:23.279 And I still remember like the moment, like the the progression rather that happened. 00:23:23.440 --> 00:23:31.839 I was about six or seven years of age, and uh I was at my uncle's house, and I remember going down to the basement. 00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:45.440 My older brothers were watching a movie, I could tell you the movie, I could tell you the scene, and as I walked down, this scene popped up, and I saw this lady get out of bed and completely topless, and this six or seven, that like image is imprinted in my mind. 00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:48.079 Like even as I'm telling it, I can still visualize it. 00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:51.519 It's like stuck with me all these years later. 00:23:51.759 --> 00:23:54.000 And it profoundly impacted me. 00:23:54.160 --> 00:24:08.319 And then, you know, as internet came along, yes, that's when I was in, you know, late junior high, high school, and all of a sudden, then access, and I became just addicted. 00:24:09.839 --> 00:24:18.079 I had the freedom to take in whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, but I was not free to do otherwise. 00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:27.839 In college, as I was trying to follow Jesus and studying to follow, like share Jesus, this began to eat me up. 00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:37.279 I even had like suicidal thoughts at times because it was like, man, I want to live this way, but I can't, and I was struggling. 00:24:37.680 --> 00:24:43.039 And I remember this picture, it was a dream, and I just feel like God gave me this picture. 00:24:43.440 --> 00:24:59.359 And as I saw, it was in this dream, and I remember I was walking into my dorm room, and as I walked into my dorm room, I opened the door, it was completely dark, and there was this little desk in my dorm room, and then my bed, and so right at this desk was a little boy, six or seven years of age, blonde hair. 00:24:59.440 --> 00:25:00.960 It was me at that age. 00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:04.559 And then there was the glow of the screen. 00:25:04.720 --> 00:25:09.759 I just saw that little boy and the screen in the glow, and my heart was like, no, don't. 00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:14.240 That's bondage, it feels good, it feels like freedom, but no, that's bondage. 00:25:14.480 --> 00:25:20.480 And all of a sudden, for the first time, I began to understand how God saw me. 00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:23.119 You know? 00:25:24.720 --> 00:25:38.400 Because I think when we have those moments or those things that have either happened to us, and so we feel like damaged goods or things that we've done that we've been caught up in or been in, we feel like God's down on us, right? 00:25:38.640 --> 00:25:41.039 We feel like he's angry with us. 00:25:41.200 --> 00:25:43.200 We feel like, man, how could you? 00:25:43.279 --> 00:25:45.519 And what were you doing, and what were you thinking? 00:25:45.680 --> 00:25:52.960 We feel like God is that dad of that daughter that I just shared about, and he's just like frustrated with us. 00:25:54.799 --> 00:25:59.119 And he sees me, and he sees you as that little boy. 00:25:59.920 --> 00:26:02.400 No, no, no, I'm not angry at you. 00:26:02.960 --> 00:26:07.200 I just want to scoop you up because I know the heartache and the pain that awaits you. 00:26:07.279 --> 00:26:19.279 I know what's going on, and I want to bring you in, and I'm not down on you, and you're going down that I recognize that you're stuck and you can't get out, and I just so want to help you. 00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:25.440 Oh, wouldn't it change the direction and the course of your life if you understood that is your heavenly father? 00:26:25.519 --> 00:26:29.039 And so instead of running from him, you would run to him. 00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:32.720 Instead of hiding from him, you would come out of hiding. 00:26:32.960 --> 00:26:50.160 Instead of drawing away, you would be drawn near to him because he's your perfect, good, heavenly father who wants to welcome you, wants to hold you, wants to help and bring healing and restoration. 00:26:51.920 --> 00:26:58.559 Integrating sexuality and spirituality, the right to do whatever you want doesn't make whatever you want right. 00:26:58.799 --> 00:27:02.640 Self-control, not self-indulgence, is a mark of freedom. 00:27:02.799 --> 00:27:08.480 Thirdly, Apostle Paul's gonna say, all of you, not just part of you, is meant for God. 00:27:08.960 --> 00:27:09.599 All of you. 00:27:09.759 --> 00:27:10.640 Notice what he says. 00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:14.079 The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality. 00:27:14.319 --> 00:27:20.960 Sorry, he's got snot now everywhere, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:28.480 By his power, God raised the Lord, speaking of Jesus, from the dead, and he will also raise us. 00:27:30.559 --> 00:27:36.160 The Greeks understood the body to be bad and to be evil, and the spirit to be good. 00:27:36.319 --> 00:27:42.240 And so the way they rationalize and understand things is you can do whatever you want with your body. 00:27:42.400 --> 00:27:43.680 It does not matter. 00:27:43.839 --> 00:27:45.599 It's inconsequential. 00:27:45.920 --> 00:27:47.759 It's the spirit that matters. 00:27:47.920 --> 00:27:50.960 And here's what Paul is saying is like, no, no, no, no, no. 00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:52.640 It's all integrated. 00:27:52.720 --> 00:27:57.839 You're not this like compartmentalized human, and there's just this part and this part over here. 00:27:58.000 --> 00:28:00.240 Isn't that what we do in our day already today? 00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:01.759 Isn't that the philosophy that we have? 00:28:01.839 --> 00:28:04.960 And he's going, no, your body matters. 00:28:06.240 --> 00:28:11.920 Jesus, he was raised physically from the dead, not just spiritually. 00:28:12.000 --> 00:28:17.440 And those of us who followers of Jesus, we will be bodily, not just spiritually, raised from the dead. 00:28:17.599 --> 00:28:20.799 Your body, my body, matters. 00:28:23.759 --> 00:28:33.279 And there's this hunger and this longing, and it's not just like my mind, and it's not just my spirit, but all of me, all of you. 00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:43.839 It's meant for God, and life makes most sense and works best when we align all of our life, all of our body in that order. 00:28:44.079 --> 00:28:50.559 And then he goes on as a result of this, then sex, intimacy is more than just about sex. 00:28:51.200 --> 00:28:54.160 It always has been, and we've always known it. 00:28:55.279 --> 00:28:57.519 Flee, he says, from sexual immorality. 00:28:58.079 --> 00:29:04.079 All other sins a person commits are outside their body, but whoever sins sexually sins against their own body. 00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:10.480 And and right above sin or next to it, just right hurts harms. 00:29:11.759 --> 00:29:14.000 Because we get hung up on the word sin. 00:29:14.079 --> 00:29:18.880 It's just the things that harm us and harm others. 00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:24.880 The things that bring brokenness to us and brokenness to others. 00:29:25.599 --> 00:29:30.960 And God who loves you doesn't want you to harm you or others or be broken yourself. 00:29:32.400 --> 00:29:35.920 That word sexual immorality is the Greek word pornea. 00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:40.160 It is where we get our English word porn, but it's so much bigger than that. 00:29:40.319 --> 00:29:43.440 It's it's the broadest term the apostle Paul can use. 00:29:43.519 --> 00:29:48.319 It's literally anything outside God's design for sex and sexuality. 00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:49.440 That's what he's meaning. 00:29:49.680 --> 00:29:50.559 Flee from it. 00:29:50.720 --> 00:29:51.359 Run from it. 00:29:51.440 --> 00:29:53.839 Now, why do you flee from something, by the way? 00:29:54.160 --> 00:29:55.119 You know this. 00:29:55.519 --> 00:29:59.279 We run from things that if it catches us, it will take us over. 00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:05.839 There are things that are in your life that you know that, man, there's some tendencies, there's some appetites. 00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:08.000 I gotta run from peanut MMs. 00:30:08.079 --> 00:30:09.599 I gotta keep them out of the house. 00:30:09.680 --> 00:30:13.519 That's a silly example, but if it's in the house, it'll take me over. 00:30:13.759 --> 00:30:21.440 He says, flee from this, because if you just try to resist it and just be strong, you will be taken over by this. 00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:26.160 Well, what is God's design then for uh sex and sexuality? 00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:29.519 Well, Genesis 2, you can jot down 24 and 25. 00:30:29.680 --> 00:30:34.160 It's the framing of how God designed us in relationship. 00:30:34.319 --> 00:30:40.079 And it's talking about Adam and Eve, the first humans, says, this is why a man leaves his father and mother. 00:30:40.240 --> 00:30:43.920 It's united or cleaved or literally glued together. 00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:55.680 That when we step into sexual relation with another person, it binds us in such unique and deeply spiritual and physical ways. 00:30:56.240 --> 00:31:01.200 It's this glued together to his wife and they've become one flesh. 00:31:01.519 --> 00:31:12.319 That God created sex to be expressed in this context of marriage between one woman and one man for all of life. 00:31:12.480 --> 00:31:14.480 That is this covenant relationship. 00:31:14.720 --> 00:31:24.720 Tim Keller says it this way sex is a God-invented way to say to another person, I belong completely and exclusively and permanently to you. 00:31:25.119 --> 00:31:27.839 And then Jesus reaffirms the Genesis. 00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:40.000 Now, if you ever follow the arc of the Old Testament, what you'll see is God outlines what you know relationships are supposed to be like, and then you just look at broken relationship after broken relationship after broken relationship. 00:31:40.240 --> 00:31:50.079 And then Jesus reaffirms the original intent and design of how we are created and who we're created to be. 00:31:50.799 --> 00:32:04.480 And so that sexual immorality, yes, it involves pornography, it involves any sex or sexual activity that's outside the covenant of marriage, and it's his heart and his desire for your very best. 00:32:05.119 --> 00:32:15.200 You know, the illustration that always stuck out with me, and I don't know if it's um like I don't know if my dad came up with this or not, but I remember him teaching on this. 00:32:15.359 --> 00:32:17.440 It was the image of a fire. 00:32:17.839 --> 00:32:22.000 And and when we think about this, it was like the image of fire was always so helpful. 00:32:22.079 --> 00:32:39.119 He's like in the context or in the framing of a fireplace, a fire brings a lot of great warmth and and um life, but in without that, in the middle of fire, uh in the middle of a forest, rather, it can create such harm and devastation. 00:32:39.279 --> 00:32:49.839 And God says, this is something beautiful I created and long for you to experience, but it's gotta have the right context for it to be uh of benefit to your life. 00:32:50.079 --> 00:33:05.519 All of you, not part of you, is meant for God's sex is more than just sex, and so as a result, and this is a shifting of how you think about yourself and every other human, uh, especially, well, rather every other follower of Jesus, your body is a temple of God. 00:33:06.400 --> 00:33:13.599 He goes on and says, Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you receive from God? 00:33:13.839 --> 00:33:19.039 You're not your own, you are bought at a price, therefore honor God with your body. 00:33:19.200 --> 00:33:22.799 That your body, he's saying, is a temple of God. 00:33:22.960 --> 00:33:23.920 Now, this was radical. 00:33:24.000 --> 00:33:42.319 Think about in their day, in the Old Testament or in the Hebrew scriptures, you had the temple, and you would go to the temple to meet with God, and the temple was the place where there would just be this place where heaven and earth met and God resided in the temple, and you'd go there and you had to go there to meet with God. 00:33:42.400 --> 00:33:51.759 And Paul's saying, No, under a new covenant, under what Jesus has done, you no longer go to a place, you now are the temple. 00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:54.079 You're a walking temple of God. 00:33:54.240 --> 00:33:54.480 Why? 00:33:54.640 --> 00:34:05.440 Because the minute you say yes to Jesus, the Spirit of God then comes and lives and dwells inside of you permanently, empowering you to live out a new life. 00:34:05.680 --> 00:34:09.679 And as a result, then you are a walking temple. 00:34:11.280 --> 00:34:15.199 And the person you're dating is a temple, your body. 00:34:15.440 --> 00:34:25.360 And so there's a way that you would care and nourish and honor and have reverence not only for your body, but others as well. 00:34:27.360 --> 00:34:37.519 And so when you become a follower of Jesus, what you say is, I'm gonna lay down my rights to follow your ways. 00:34:38.079 --> 00:34:48.480 Jesus said it this way: if anyone would come after me, he must take up a cross and follow me, that's sacrifice. 00:34:49.039 --> 00:34:55.760 And then he goes on to say something incredibly profound that we miss or ignore. 00:34:56.559 --> 00:35:02.320 If anyone wants to save their life, they'll lose it. 00:35:03.599 --> 00:35:11.039 If you have a life geared towards you, your pleasure, your desires, your wants, your needs, you will lose it. 00:35:12.559 --> 00:35:18.800 If you have a marriage geared towards your desires, your wants, your needs, all about you, you will lose it. 00:35:19.119 --> 00:35:25.760 If you have a friendship geared towards your wants, your desires, your needs, all about you, you'll lose it. 00:35:26.960 --> 00:35:29.360 Anyone who wants to save their life will lose it. 00:35:29.440 --> 00:35:42.079 But whoever loses their life, not just for any reason, not to be a doormat, but loses their life for my sake, will save it. 00:35:44.239 --> 00:35:48.079 That fundamentally in following Jesus, there is a profound no. 00:35:50.079 --> 00:36:00.079 And in that, you actually experience what true life is all about to begin with. 00:36:01.039 --> 00:36:04.719 In our culture, it's all about discovering yourself. 00:36:05.119 --> 00:36:11.440 And Jesus says, deny yourself, and you'll truly discover who you were made to be. 00:36:11.679 --> 00:36:30.159 And I think this is where this conversation many times, especially with my friends, uh, and I know we have many people in our life who love Jesus, walk with Jesus, and are in the LGBTQ community, and see and recognize the cost of discipleship in following him. 00:36:30.880 --> 00:36:41.119 And I just so appreciate how Sam Alberry, who's same-sex attracted, wrote about this because he he puts it all on a level playing field for us to truly understand. 00:36:41.280 --> 00:36:57.360 And he says this he says, we need to recognize the cost of discipleship for everyone, for many in our churches, or the cost of yeah, for many in our churches, the cost of discipleship for the LGBT plus background people looks cruel and unusual. 00:36:57.519 --> 00:37:02.719 I suspect in most cases, that's because we're not counting the cost of discipleship in other areas. 00:37:02.960 --> 00:37:09.440 Jesus says all of us have to say a profound no to some of our deepest longings and intuitions. 00:37:09.760 --> 00:37:11.360 That is discipleship. 00:37:11.599 --> 00:37:14.960 Jesus says it up front, he doesn't bury it in the small print. 00:37:15.199 --> 00:37:22.719 The wonderful paradox of the Christian faith is that as we deny self, we become our real self. 00:37:23.760 --> 00:37:35.920 I love how Deborah Hirsch, and she's got a great book called Redeeming Sex, and her story, just the opening introduction, is worth the price of the book, and you will cry through it as I did. 00:37:37.440 --> 00:37:40.960 Every human being on the planet is sexually broken, she writes. 00:37:41.760 --> 00:37:44.239 Everybody's orientation is disoriented. 00:37:45.360 --> 00:37:52.639 Repentance involves accepting our broken condition and looking to the Savior, Jesus, fill, Jesus, to fill our gaps. 00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:54.559 We cannot have it on our own terms. 00:37:54.719 --> 00:37:59.280 We have to accept God's perspective on the human condition. 00:38:00.320 --> 00:38:10.960 And simply going, Jesus, my marriage, it's surrendered to you, my sexuality, it's surrender to you, my singleness, it's surrendered to you, my attractions, it's surrendered to you. 00:38:11.280 --> 00:38:14.800 God, you have your way in and through my life. 00:38:14.960 --> 00:38:19.679 What does it look like to honor you with my body? 00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:24.880 And so relational wisdom says this it's never been just physical. 00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:27.760 But we already knew that. 00:38:29.199 --> 00:38:32.880 Unfortunately, so many of us have scars to prove it. 00:38:34.880 --> 00:38:40.400 It's never been just physical, and so I will honor God with my body. 00:38:43.039 --> 00:38:46.639 Let me uh maybe give us some practical what does it look like? 00:38:46.800 --> 00:38:48.960 How in the world do we do that, Brian? 00:38:49.199 --> 00:38:51.119 Honor God with my body. 00:38:51.440 --> 00:39:02.320 Well, for some, whether you're a man or a woman and you're struggling with pornography, it's actually to root that out of your life, to bring it into the light. 00:39:02.480 --> 00:39:03.760 Here's the wonderful reality. 00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:07.039 Some of you are like, I've never spoken this, I've been hiding this. 00:39:07.199 --> 00:39:11.840 Your pastor just set it up front, so I'm pretty sure you're safe to talk about it around here. 00:39:12.159 --> 00:39:12.800 Right? 00:39:16.559 --> 00:39:21.119 But you then bring it into the light, you share it with uh someone to get accountability. 00:39:21.280 --> 00:39:29.360 And to be honest, in this area, uh there's some people who've experienced like supernatural healing and they've never struggled with it. 00:39:29.440 --> 00:39:30.079 That's wonderful. 00:39:30.159 --> 00:39:31.679 That's not my story. 00:39:32.880 --> 00:39:45.840 My story is it's a progression of moving from that moment in college of struggling and then finally getting honest and then putting things in my life so that I do not go down that path. 00:39:46.079 --> 00:39:54.400 Okay, here's the reality back to I don't know why peanut MMs have made so much of a work through this entire sermon. 00:39:57.920 --> 00:39:59.519 Here's my reality. 00:40:01.280 --> 00:40:07.199 I to not have peanut MMs, they need to not be in the house. 00:40:08.239 --> 00:40:12.400 And there's certain things that are in your house that need to not be there. 00:40:14.800 --> 00:40:20.880 Because we keep keeping it in the house and wondering why we keep tripping over it, why we keep going back to it, why it keeps happening. 00:40:21.039 --> 00:40:25.119 We keep keeping it in our pocket and wondering why in the world does it keep happening? 00:40:25.280 --> 00:40:29.440 Oh God, oh God, and going like, no, let's be wise about this. 00:40:31.760 --> 00:40:36.239 The apostle Paul would say it this way: make no provision for the flesh. 00:40:37.039 --> 00:40:39.519 Make no provision for the flesh. 00:40:39.679 --> 00:40:46.880 Like, how do you begin to set up things like on my phone, you have somebody else who has my wife who has the parental control? 00:40:46.960 --> 00:40:48.719 You're an adult, but you have parental control. 00:40:48.880 --> 00:40:52.079 Yeah, make no provision for the flesh. 00:40:52.400 --> 00:40:53.519 How about you? 00:40:54.719 --> 00:40:59.760 Get some help, share with someone, cut some things out of your life. 00:41:00.320 --> 00:41:04.079 How about singleness and dating and engaged? 00:41:04.480 --> 00:41:07.519 By the way, singles especially, but this is true for everyone. 00:41:07.679 --> 00:41:13.199 There's this idea in this culture that you need to find someone to make you whole or to complete you. 00:41:13.440 --> 00:41:18.239 And every person who's dating eventually realizes that person won't complete them. 00:41:18.400 --> 00:41:24.320 And every married person is at some point going, like, wow, this didn't work to complete me. 00:41:25.119 --> 00:41:28.800 Because no person will ever complete you. 00:41:29.440 --> 00:41:31.119 That's not the design. 00:41:32.320 --> 00:41:40.960 And Jesus was single, by the way, fully sexual because he is fully human and fully complete. 00:41:41.440 --> 00:41:44.079 That's the savior we worship. 00:41:45.360 --> 00:41:50.639 Instead of looking at the other person, looking like I'm lacking, you are not lacking anything at all. 00:41:50.800 --> 00:41:57.280 It is such an incredible foundation when you go, okay, my wholeness is found in Jesus alone. 00:41:57.760 --> 00:41:59.599 So if we're dating, how do how do we do this? 00:41:59.679 --> 00:42:00.480 How do we navigate this? 00:42:00.559 --> 00:42:02.639 Hey, we gotta resist hookup culture. 00:42:05.199 --> 00:42:11.840 Like, hey, just because you go like, well, everybody's sleeping, that's just kind of what you do, and I don't want to be awkward and all like that. 00:42:11.920 --> 00:42:12.800 Yes, so what? 00:42:12.960 --> 00:42:19.280 I'd rather be awkward than have some of the pain and the scars, the hookup and the shack up culture. 00:42:19.440 --> 00:42:20.719 That's not the ways of Jesus. 00:42:20.880 --> 00:42:22.159 Well, then what do we do with that? 00:42:22.320 --> 00:42:25.360 Well, let me give you what I call the dating guidelines. 00:42:25.519 --> 00:42:34.639 And honestly, my youth pastor, so this is old, but I still use this to this, well, not use this today, but I use this in our dating, and I still give this so helpful. 00:42:34.719 --> 00:42:36.000 These are guidelines. 00:42:36.159 --> 00:42:42.400 You only one is like a chapter and a verse thing, but these are just wise ways to navigate the dating world. 00:42:42.480 --> 00:42:45.440 The first guideline is simply this uh the bikini rule. 00:42:45.599 --> 00:42:47.519 Don't touch anything in the bikini area. 00:42:47.599 --> 00:42:51.760 So if you're dating, if you're engaged, if you're single and you're on a date, you get it. 00:42:51.920 --> 00:42:54.079 You get guy and girl. 00:42:54.320 --> 00:42:57.679 Whether over the clothes or under the clothes, don't touch it. 00:42:58.320 --> 00:42:59.920 Keep your hands off. 00:43:00.559 --> 00:43:03.119 Second thing is then the H factor. 00:43:03.679 --> 00:43:05.440 H factor is the horizontal. 00:43:05.519 --> 00:43:10.159 You're watching the movie, things are getting late, it's getting late at night, you're oh, we're just kind of getting a little horizontal. 00:43:10.320 --> 00:43:10.960 All right. 00:43:11.360 --> 00:43:22.000 It just gets you in a not good position for not good things if you're trying to live a pure life. 00:43:22.960 --> 00:43:24.000 Bikini roll. 00:43:24.480 --> 00:43:25.599 H factor. 00:43:26.000 --> 00:43:28.880 Third one, nothing good happens after midnight. 00:43:31.119 --> 00:43:33.760 By the way, you know this research confirms it. 00:43:33.840 --> 00:43:35.760 You get dumber as it gets later. 00:43:38.239 --> 00:43:43.440 Um, why do you think every um infomercial is like 2 a.m. 00:43:43.679 --> 00:43:44.800 and beyond? 00:43:47.119 --> 00:43:48.719 Because you're dumber. 00:43:49.519 --> 00:43:52.079 And in that moment you just might buy it. 00:43:52.800 --> 00:43:54.079 And they know it. 00:43:54.960 --> 00:43:55.280 Why? 00:43:55.440 --> 00:43:59.679 Because your inhibitions go down and your decisions get worse the later. 00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:00.480 It gets. 00:44:00.559 --> 00:44:04.639 And so you're going to make a predecision about how you're going to engage and how you're going to date. 00:44:04.960 --> 00:44:09.360 Uh, and say, you know, I'm not going to do this, we're not going to do this, we're not going to go here. 00:44:09.599 --> 00:44:20.239 And I know we want to hang out until you know the we hours and whatnot, but we're going to say there's an ending time, not because uh of anything, but we want the best for the other person. 00:44:21.199 --> 00:44:23.360 And then Joe's secret weapon. 00:44:23.679 --> 00:44:29.519 Joe's secret weapon, and this is where the chapter and verse, and if you know Joe, Joe is Joseph in the Bible. 00:44:29.599 --> 00:44:35.760 And Joseph was a slave in Potiphar's household, and Potiphar's wife had a thing for Joe. 00:44:35.840 --> 00:44:36.960 He was a good-looking man. 00:44:37.039 --> 00:44:46.719 Uh, and she kept pressing the issue, kept trying to get after him, and eventually she cornered him one day and grabbed onto him and he ran. 00:44:47.760 --> 00:44:51.519 And by running, she grabbed his clothes, he ran out naked. 00:44:53.599 --> 00:44:56.000 It ended up really worse for him. 00:44:56.880 --> 00:45:01.360 But ultimately, what was best if you read the end of the story at the end of Genesis. 00:45:01.920 --> 00:45:04.559 And Joe's secret weapon is run. 00:45:05.679 --> 00:45:06.320 Run. 00:45:07.519 --> 00:45:09.360 Flee from sexual immorality. 00:45:09.440 --> 00:45:10.159 Literally run. 00:45:10.320 --> 00:45:13.280 This is not uh metaphorical. 00:45:14.400 --> 00:45:16.400 This is literal run. 00:45:17.039 --> 00:45:32.239 I remember there was a friend who he had an apartment in upstairs in downtown Capitola, and things were starting to get hot and heavy with him and his girlfriend, and they had just watched the movie, they already broke the bikini rule with H factor, and some codes are starting to come off. 00:45:32.320 --> 00:45:35.840 And all of a sudden, what came through his mind was Joe's secret weapon, run. 00:45:36.159 --> 00:45:46.480 And by the way, in those moments, there is just a sliver, there's a small window where you can make a rational decision, but it's small, and so the minute you have it, you gotta listen to it, and you run after it, and he go after it. 00:45:46.559 --> 00:45:49.199 And so he literally heard run, and so he gets up. 00:45:49.360 --> 00:45:51.280 He's in his, you know, yeah. 00:45:51.440 --> 00:46:00.400 And um opens the door, down the stairs, cross the street, over to the wall, through the beach, into the ocean. 00:46:00.960 --> 00:46:01.599 He ran. 00:46:01.760 --> 00:46:03.760 That's one way to cool yourself off. 00:46:04.880 --> 00:46:08.000 Literally, literally run. 00:46:08.639 --> 00:46:18.639 My friend was sharing this story this last week as we're talking about the sermon, and she said that um she had to sing at her ex-boyfriend's wedding. 00:46:20.079 --> 00:46:20.880 Awkward. 00:46:23.039 --> 00:46:25.519 But here's what's amazing is it wasn't. 00:46:26.880 --> 00:46:40.880 Obviously, they dated in high school, and I not obviously they dated in high school, and then he got married later in college, and then she was got to sing in her ex-boyfriend's wedding. 00:46:41.679 --> 00:47:01.519 It wouldn't it be amazing if the person you dated, that you so honored them, that you could stand in their wedding and sing and be so for them, and there wouldn't be a hint of wouldn't that be incredible? 00:47:02.159 --> 00:47:08.960 And don't you want that in the person that you date or marriage, and don't you want to be that type of person? 00:47:09.039 --> 00:47:13.599 And don't we want to hold another person there? 00:47:13.840 --> 00:47:16.639 That we would have that intent. 00:47:16.880 --> 00:47:18.480 You're like, well, Ryan, I don't sing. 00:47:18.559 --> 00:47:22.480 Well, great, just show up to a wedding and feel good about that. 00:47:23.280 --> 00:47:26.079 Married, I didn't forget about you. 00:47:27.039 --> 00:47:33.199 Don't supplement intimacy in your marriage, outside your marriage. 00:47:34.079 --> 00:47:51.199 Looking for it, you're not getting your emotional needs met, you're not getting your physical needs met, or relational, and we begin to supplement and kind of parse things out, and don't bring in or bring others into the intimacy of your marriage. 00:47:52.400 --> 00:48:06.079 It's tempting to look where you're at and see everybody else's lives online, or to see the TV and the movies, and to think you're missing out, isn't it? 00:48:06.559 --> 00:48:11.039 And to think that the grass is greener somewhere else. 00:48:14.880 --> 00:48:22.079 And if you think the grass is greener somewhere else, like someone once wisely said, then it's time to water your grass. 00:48:23.840 --> 00:48:26.320 It's time to care and nurture for your grass. 00:48:27.440 --> 00:48:42.480 And we're focused so much outside of looking there and critiquing it here instead of developing and nurturing and caring here, that you would foster and develop and grow. 00:48:42.719 --> 00:48:44.480 And so would you ask this question? 00:48:45.199 --> 00:48:52.719 How do I honor my body and your body as the very temple of God? 00:48:53.199 --> 00:48:59.199 How do I honor my body that you're precious, you're valuable? 00:48:59.760 --> 00:49:02.320 Like you're the very temple of God. 00:49:04.000 --> 00:49:29.760 How do I honor your body that you're precious, you're valuable, that the very spirit of the living God is indwelling in you, and so there's an area and awe and a reverence of the way I'm gonna treat you where we treat one another and ourselves with that dignity, respect. 00:49:30.159 --> 00:49:53.519 And as we close, I just think for some, there's there's this as we've been talking, and there's this area of things that have maybe been done to you that that have felt like this wave of shame that has just cast over your life, or things that you've done, and you're like, maybe it was last week or last month or whatever, and and you're just going like there's this wave of condemnation that's just like pouring in. 00:49:54.960 --> 00:50:04.800 The apostle Paul would say this, therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, there's no guilt, no shame. 00:50:04.960 --> 00:50:06.880 This is who you are. 00:50:07.679 --> 00:50:22.239 No, you have a perfect heavenly father who loves you, who sees that little boy with the screen, who sees that little girl in that moment, and he's not going, What did you do? 00:50:22.480 --> 00:50:23.119 How could you? 00:50:23.280 --> 00:50:24.800 What's wrong with you? 00:50:25.039 --> 00:50:26.559 What were you thinking? 00:50:26.880 --> 00:50:30.159 God never uses those words with you. 00:50:30.400 --> 00:50:32.320 Those are shame words. 00:50:34.320 --> 00:50:36.559 He says, I just want to hold you. 00:50:37.519 --> 00:50:39.519 I just want to bring you in. 00:50:40.719 --> 00:50:57.119 I just want to take those broken pieces, those moments in your life, the things that you've hid, that you've never shared, that you've walked with, that that has hurt you, the things that others have done to you, that that you just felt like they caused you to be a damaged good. 00:50:57.360 --> 00:50:59.039 It's just not true. 00:51:02.400 --> 00:51:04.960 And he says, I just want you to bring it to me. 00:51:05.920 --> 00:51:12.559 I just want to bring healing and wholeness and restoration in your life. 00:51:12.880 --> 00:51:21.760 So once more, in this moment, would you instead, where we so often hide from God, would you come out of hiding? 00:51:22.079 --> 00:51:28.159 Where we feel like there's condemnation and God's down on us, so we run from him. 00:51:28.960 --> 00:51:30.480 Would you run to him? 00:51:33.840 --> 00:51:35.840 Father with open arms. 00:51:38.079 --> 00:51:48.800 The father that longs to embrace, to pour out his grace and mercy and love and healing in your life. 00:51:49.119 --> 00:51:51.599 Would you stand with me as we pray and close? 00:51:55.760 --> 00:51:59.280 Jesus, I just pray for my friends right now in this moment. 00:52:01.199 --> 00:52:11.679 As we've been teaching and preaching your word, there's been different images and different moments that have just been popping up in people's minds. 00:52:11.760 --> 00:52:22.079 And then there's words of condemnation and shame and hurt and pain, and even the way other Christians or pastors or leaders or parents or coaches have treated. 00:52:22.559 --> 00:52:28.559 Right now, may your voice be louder and clearer than all the rest. 00:52:30.719 --> 00:52:45.920 And God, I pray for the heart that is fragile and broken and desperate and needing, that it would come out of hiding, that you would overwhelm them with your love, your grace, your tenderness, your hope. 00:52:48.400 --> 00:52:53.920 And we draw near to you and experience that the nearness of God is our good. 00:52:54.239 --> 00:53:01.679 The nearness of God, no matter where you've been, what you've done, the nearness of God is your good. 00:53:02.480 --> 00:53:04.000 In Jesus' name. 00:53:04.320 --> 00:53:04.960 Amen. 00:53:06.719 --> 00:53:09.039 We hope you are blessed by this message. 00:53:09.280 --> 00:53:13.679 Please subscribe to our podcast for access to every episode as they're uploaded. 00:53:13.840 --> 00:53:15.920 And hey, we'd love to connect with you. 00:53:16.079 --> 00:53:22.000 Take a next step by filling out our virtual connection card at awakeningchurch.com slash card.