WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:02.319 Welcome to the Awakening Church podcast. 00:00:02.560 --> 00:00:07.040 We pray this message encourages you and provides the hope and light of Jesus Christ. 00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:08.640 Thanks for tuning in. 00:00:20.160 --> 00:00:22.960 Well, I want to talk to you today about forgiveness. 00:00:23.519 --> 00:00:30.640 I want to talk to you about what that means in this world and in your life. 00:00:30.960 --> 00:00:36.719 To do that, I want to start with a story from 1928, like a hundred years ago. 00:00:37.600 --> 00:00:47.679 Forgiveness, it's like something that many people know about, but they haven't really applied it into their life. 00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:51.439 It's something that I would say often goes overlooked. 00:00:52.159 --> 00:00:56.079 Much like some of the great discoveries in science and medicine. 00:00:56.240 --> 00:01:04.799 Do you know, like a lot of science and medicine, cool things happen through development in labs, through planned scientific processes. 00:01:05.120 --> 00:01:08.640 Other discoveries happen by complete accident. 00:01:09.120 --> 00:01:11.760 That's what happened in 1928. 00:01:11.920 --> 00:01:14.480 Alexander Fleming was studying bacteria. 00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:16.239 This is a hundred years ago. 00:01:16.480 --> 00:01:25.760 He's in the coast in England, and he leaves a petri dish of some of the bacteria he was studying, accidentally leaves it unopened. 00:01:25.920 --> 00:01:27.840 And he leaves it near a window. 00:01:28.079 --> 00:01:33.359 And he checks on it and realizes to his dismay that he's left it uncovered. 00:01:33.439 --> 00:01:34.640 It's probably worthless. 00:01:34.799 --> 00:01:41.439 But he notices there's these small uh mold spores on the outside of the bacteria he was studying. 00:01:41.599 --> 00:01:42.719 He was like, this is weird. 00:01:42.879 --> 00:01:50.239 And he noticed that this mold that was growing was actually destroying the bacteria that he had been studying. 00:01:50.959 --> 00:01:57.040 As he extracted it, he noted that this was this mold juice, he called it, by the way. 00:01:57.280 --> 00:01:57.840 Great name. 00:01:57.920 --> 00:01:59.359 I'm glad we changed the name. 00:01:59.599 --> 00:02:17.520 The name was changed to penicillin because he had extracted this, and he realized this is from the Pelicillum genus, and it had the ability to kill bacteria that was connected to diseases like pneumonia, scarlet fever, meningitis. 00:02:17.680 --> 00:02:25.280 Things that used to not have a cure now would have a cure through what we now call antibiotics. 00:02:25.520 --> 00:02:32.159 Most of us, many of us in this room, have taken an antibiotic at some point, something that kills growing bacteria in our body. 00:02:32.319 --> 00:02:35.280 But you know, a hundred years ago, we hadn't found that yet. 00:02:35.439 --> 00:02:45.120 But it what I love about this discovery, of course, first and foremost, the radical ability it has had to change medicine and practice of medicine and the benefits it's given all of us in our lives. 00:02:45.199 --> 00:02:50.400 But secondly, what's so cool about Fleming's discovery is that it truly was a discovery. 00:02:50.719 --> 00:02:56.800 It wasn't something that he manipulated in a lab, but something he found by accident. 00:02:56.960 --> 00:03:03.360 He discovered a healing agent within nature that could heal nature itself. 00:03:03.599 --> 00:03:09.919 When nature was twisting and turning into chaos, there was something within the ecosystem that could heal the ecosystem. 00:03:10.000 --> 00:03:14.719 You know, something that we had overlooked for thousands and thousands of years that he suddenly discovered. 00:03:14.879 --> 00:03:16.479 He actually said this himself. 00:03:16.639 --> 00:03:28.319 Uh he said this, I certainly didn't plan to revolutionize all medicine, humble brag, um, by discovering the world's first antibiotic or bacteria killer. 00:03:28.479 --> 00:03:29.520 He's like, I didn't plan. 00:03:29.599 --> 00:03:31.840 But I suppose that's exactly what I did. 00:03:32.080 --> 00:03:36.080 I did not invent penicillin, nature did that. 00:03:36.560 --> 00:03:39.680 I only discovered it by accident. 00:03:40.560 --> 00:03:44.800 Um I think that forgiveness operates in this way. 00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:52.080 Could there be something within the life of faith that you have overlooked? 00:03:52.560 --> 00:04:08.560 Something so central to the way that things operate within the ecosystem of your faith that you've missed it, that all you had to do was kind of notice it in a particular environment and extract it and apply it in the right way to see its healing power. 00:04:08.800 --> 00:04:10.960 I think forgiveness is like this, you guys. 00:04:11.199 --> 00:04:34.240 I think most Christians talk about forgiveness and the way God has forgiven them, and they say we should forgive people, and you might even write a nice, you know, tweet about it or post on Instagram about forgiveness and how good it is, but really, kind of at the end of the day, applying this and knowing what this is is it often goes overlooked. 00:04:34.480 --> 00:04:39.360 Many, many Christians I know, they walk not in bitterness, but something else. 00:04:39.519 --> 00:04:43.519 Like this bacteria has grown in their life of bitterness. 00:04:44.560 --> 00:04:53.360 And they've overlooked the healing agent that is within their bitterness, which is God's operating forgiveness. 00:04:53.519 --> 00:04:54.720 There's something else going on. 00:04:54.800 --> 00:04:57.120 I think it's the most untapped resource. 00:04:57.680 --> 00:05:03.839 Forgiveness, it it's it's it's the most uncommon resource, uh, uncommonly tapped resource in the Christian faith. 00:05:04.079 --> 00:05:05.199 What is it? 00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:07.360 What is forgiveness? 00:05:07.600 --> 00:05:12.560 Forgiveness, I've defined it as the God-given ability to say this. 00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:16.000 You don't owe me anything anymore. 00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:20.879 See, forgiveness deals with debts and it deals with hurt and with pain. 00:05:21.040 --> 00:05:24.399 When we've been hurt and when pain has happened, what do you say? 00:05:24.639 --> 00:05:26.560 You owe me an apology, right? 00:05:26.959 --> 00:05:28.959 That's kind of a trite way to put it. 00:05:29.120 --> 00:05:38.000 More dramatically, a long relationship that has been, you know, uh gone bad, or parenting that has been suffocating to us over our years. 00:05:38.079 --> 00:05:38.639 What do we say? 00:05:38.800 --> 00:05:41.360 You owe me years of my life, you know? 00:05:41.600 --> 00:05:43.199 Forgiveness deals with debts. 00:05:43.279 --> 00:05:48.319 It deals with the ability, though, from God to say, you don't owe me anything anymore. 00:05:48.399 --> 00:05:52.800 What I want to argue over the next couple weeks, and it will be an argument with you a little bit, it's okay. 00:05:53.040 --> 00:05:57.759 But I want to talk about that forgiveness. 00:05:58.079 --> 00:06:06.240 Um, I don't think it's actually possible for human beings to forgive without the power of God. 00:06:07.439 --> 00:06:17.759 I don't think that it's possible for us in our own ingenuity and emotional capabilities to look at somebody else and say, you don't owe me anything anymore. 00:06:18.160 --> 00:06:20.959 That's why I said it is a God-given ability. 00:06:21.120 --> 00:06:32.000 You see, in kind of self-help talk and in books around that kind of emotional awareness stuff, where there's some value out there, they often talk about forgiveness being a decision we make. 00:06:32.319 --> 00:06:46.399 But scripture talks about it as a command we receive, a gift given to us by our creator, the ability to say, looking at someone and say, You used to owe me, but you don't owe me. 00:06:46.800 --> 00:06:51.759 The ability to cancel the debt, the ability to not hold something against somebody else. 00:06:52.079 --> 00:06:56.800 If human beings could find this, human beings would have a future. 00:06:56.879 --> 00:06:58.480 That's what Desmond Tutu argued. 00:06:58.560 --> 00:06:59.199 Do you know who he was? 00:06:59.279 --> 00:07:05.839 He was the archbishop in South Africa, the leader of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission outside of the apartheid in the 90s, right? 00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:11.199 Um, he knows a thing or two about forgiveness, is my point, more than you and I. 00:07:11.759 --> 00:07:28.639 In his book, which he provocatively titled No Future Without Forgiveness, because he really believes humankind has no future without learning this ability, without learning how to look at somebody and say, you don't owe me anything anymore, especially after a national catastrophe like what happened in South Africa or other parts of the continent. 00:07:28.879 --> 00:07:38.959 He says this forgiving means abandoning your right to pay back the perpetrator in his own coin, but it is a loss that liberates the victim. 00:07:40.480 --> 00:07:44.800 I want to talk about the loss that liberates next week. 00:07:45.120 --> 00:07:54.720 But this week I want to talk about what actually forgiveness is, and I also want to talk to you about what happens when we do not practice it. 00:07:54.959 --> 00:07:58.480 Because the stakes are as high as Desmond Tutu says. 00:07:58.639 --> 00:08:06.959 You might not believe it, man, but I'm here to tell you forgiveness and the lack of forgiveness is the difference between a future and no future. 00:08:07.839 --> 00:08:11.040 It's the difference between life and death. 00:08:11.759 --> 00:08:15.360 It's the difference between bitterness and freedom. 00:08:15.839 --> 00:08:18.240 And I want to talk to you exactly about that today. 00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:20.319 What's being asked of us in forgiveness? 00:08:20.560 --> 00:08:23.279 Well, you know, Jesus talked a lot about forgiveness. 00:08:23.519 --> 00:08:31.360 Jesus Christ defines forgiveness and tells us forgiveness in the form of a command. 00:08:31.839 --> 00:08:35.360 I want you to look at four scriptures I just grabbed from the Gospels. 00:08:35.440 --> 00:08:42.080 When I studied this, there's really nine of these that I'm kind of looking at, but I picked four of like things just Jesus. 00:08:42.159 --> 00:08:46.720 I'm not talking Old Testament, I'm not talking New Testament writings, I'm just talking Jesus on earth. 00:08:46.799 --> 00:08:48.799 What was it reported that he said? 00:08:49.519 --> 00:08:51.440 And he commanded these things. 00:08:51.600 --> 00:08:53.519 Look at Matthew 6, verse 14. 00:08:53.759 --> 00:09:02.399 For if you forgive, if you say you don't owe me anything anymore, to others their own trespasses, you know how to trespass it's when someone steps in your territory. 00:09:02.480 --> 00:09:05.840 You know, when someone hurts you, it's a sin, a grievance. 00:09:06.080 --> 00:09:13.200 So if you tell somebody you don't owe me anything anymore, your heavenly father will also do the same to you, will also forgive you. 00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:22.320 But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your heavenly father forgive your trespasses. 00:09:22.720 --> 00:09:24.960 That's Matthew 6, Mark 11, 25. 00:09:25.120 --> 00:09:28.080 And whenever you stand praying, forgive. 00:09:29.200 --> 00:09:38.240 If you have anything against anyone, so that your father who is also uh also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. 00:09:38.879 --> 00:09:41.039 Luke 6, 37, judge not. 00:09:41.120 --> 00:09:43.600 You've probably heard this one before, really famous Jesus teaching. 00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:51.360 Judge not and you will not be judged, condemn not and you will not be condemned, forgive and you will be forgiven. 00:09:53.679 --> 00:09:56.879 Now, all of these, by the way, are taken in four different instances. 00:09:57.039 --> 00:10:01.440 I did not lift these in like four different Gospels repeating the same event. 00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:03.519 These are different events of Jesus' teaching. 00:10:03.600 --> 00:10:04.879 He just repeated this teaching a lot. 00:10:05.039 --> 00:10:08.320 It apparently was a cornerstone of his commands. 00:10:08.480 --> 00:10:09.440 It was very, very important. 00:10:09.600 --> 00:10:17.039 Okay, at the end of his life, he dies, he raises from the dead in three days, he's with his disciples, his closest twelve people. 00:10:17.200 --> 00:10:21.759 He looks at all of them and he says this in John 20, 22, receive the Holy Spirit. 00:10:21.919 --> 00:10:27.120 He imparts the empowering presence of God into his followers and then says this. 00:10:40.000 --> 00:10:44.639 These are strong statements that cannot go unreckoned with. 00:10:45.120 --> 00:10:52.559 You and I have to look at these statements, and if we're a Christian, we have to really take these seriously. 00:10:52.720 --> 00:11:05.200 And I would say, even if you're not a Christian, but you find yourself wrestling with God, this is God incarnate coming to you, and he's not suggesting that we forgive. 00:11:05.759 --> 00:11:09.200 He's not offering it as a nice bit of advice. 00:11:09.840 --> 00:11:15.519 He's commanding it with incredibly great stakes. 00:11:16.159 --> 00:11:18.399 I don't think Desmond 2-2 is wrong, man. 00:11:18.480 --> 00:11:20.240 I think he had something right there. 00:11:20.559 --> 00:11:25.519 That actually, if we don't learn this thing, forgiveness, there is no future for us. 00:11:25.919 --> 00:11:28.799 Or our future is destined towards bitterness. 00:11:28.960 --> 00:11:35.120 You see, friends, your relationship with God, it is inextricably linked to your relationships with other people. 00:11:35.279 --> 00:11:36.559 The New Testament teaches this. 00:11:36.720 --> 00:11:39.679 Jesus put it in the quickest way when he was asked, like, what the greatest commandment was. 00:11:39.759 --> 00:11:40.399 Do you know what he said? 00:11:40.480 --> 00:11:42.879 He said, love God and love your neighbor as yourself. 00:11:43.039 --> 00:11:46.080 And if I was in the crowd, I'd go, wait, I asked you for one. 00:11:46.399 --> 00:11:48.480 Is it love God or is it love neighbor? 00:11:48.639 --> 00:11:50.159 And do you know what I think he would say? 00:11:50.480 --> 00:11:51.120 Yes. 00:11:54.559 --> 00:12:00.080 It's because the way that you treat other people is the way you know God. 00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:05.279 And the way that you know God is how you treat other people. 00:12:05.440 --> 00:12:07.120 They are inextricably linked. 00:12:07.279 --> 00:12:13.440 It, you see, we we talk about it like I've got my relationship with God, and then we talk about, I got this relationship that's really bothering me, you know? 00:12:13.679 --> 00:12:16.720 But the New Testament is like they are actually one in the same. 00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:29.279 I see, friends, I'll put it this way: our experience of God's forgiveness is contingent upon our ability to issue forgiveness to others by God's power. 00:12:29.440 --> 00:12:33.200 Now, notice what I said here for some of you watching carefully. 00:12:33.440 --> 00:12:37.120 I did not say that God's forgiveness is contingent upon our ability. 00:12:37.360 --> 00:12:44.960 I said our experience of it, our ability to know it, our ability to even comprehend who God is and what he is. 00:12:45.120 --> 00:12:50.080 It's contingent upon our ability to issue the power of forgiveness, but by whose power? 00:12:50.320 --> 00:12:50.960 By God. 00:12:51.600 --> 00:12:58.480 God is involved in all of this because God is so passionate about saving your life. 00:12:59.360 --> 00:13:01.600 That's why he's commanding you and me to forgive things. 00:13:01.679 --> 00:13:02.480 We forget this all the time. 00:13:02.559 --> 00:13:06.799 Like the commands in scripture, they are not given to us to be nice little religious people, man. 00:13:06.960 --> 00:13:16.879 They're given to you because a bacteria is growing in your life and a penicillin is necessary to kill the bacteria of bitterness and resentment. 00:13:17.200 --> 00:13:18.720 God is trying to save your life. 00:13:18.799 --> 00:13:20.320 That's all he's trying to do. 00:13:20.559 --> 00:13:26.320 When he commands you to do something, he's commanding you in a way that would save your life. 00:13:26.639 --> 00:13:36.559 Forgiveness, my friends, it is absolutely necessary so long as we withhold it from giving it to other people, we will just not understand God's grace. 00:13:36.799 --> 00:13:39.759 When was the last time you took stock of forgiveness? 00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:47.440 I often find that we we don't take stock of like who owes us what and what do we feel like we've been hurt by? 00:13:47.600 --> 00:14:02.000 And because we don't take stock of it, it's like it leaks out in really weird random comments or small gossipy moments or a fiery post on social media, not realizing that we've just been hurt and we have resentment building, and that's what's leaking out. 00:14:02.559 --> 00:14:06.080 But we haven't really dealt with some of the fundamental questions around forgiveness. 00:14:06.159 --> 00:14:07.200 Do you want to know what some of them are? 00:14:07.600 --> 00:14:11.039 Here's four questions I think that kind of circle forgiveness. 00:14:11.840 --> 00:14:16.080 What have we done that we are ashamed of? 00:14:17.519 --> 00:14:19.759 What has been done to us? 00:14:22.080 --> 00:14:26.879 People have hurt us in some of us in this room have been hurt in unimaginable ways. 00:14:27.120 --> 00:14:30.960 Ways that if you told your neighbors sitting next to you, it would shock them. 00:14:32.639 --> 00:14:34.000 What has been what have we done? 00:14:34.159 --> 00:14:35.519 What have has been done to us? 00:14:35.679 --> 00:14:37.759 What have we failed to do? 00:14:39.039 --> 00:14:41.039 And then who has failed us? 00:14:42.320 --> 00:14:49.440 These questions are at the heart of forgiveness, but are they not the questions we spend most of our lives trying to ignore? 00:14:50.240 --> 00:14:51.039 Oh, just me? 00:14:51.200 --> 00:14:52.000 Okay, cool. 00:14:52.159 --> 00:14:55.120 Um I once heard somebody say, you know what being a pastor is? 00:14:55.200 --> 00:14:59.279 It's getting on a stage and saying, you've been ignoring this all week, and I kind of feel that way right now. 00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:02.399 Like, like, this is stuff I ignore all the time, right? 00:15:02.480 --> 00:15:07.039 But like these are the questions that actually define your whole life, right? 00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:13.919 Like, you and I don't really know each other unless we know the answers to these questions about one another, right? 00:15:14.320 --> 00:15:25.360 Like, you might know that I love the Portland Trailblazers and that, you know, I like certain kinds of music, but you won't ever really know me unless you know these things. 00:15:25.600 --> 00:15:29.759 That's the level of vulnerability that connects a real true relationship, right? 00:15:29.919 --> 00:15:36.000 It's like the events in our life that have caused us harm, and then what we did about it and what we didn't do about it. 00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:41.840 Like these questions are kind of circling around the essential nature of what forgiveness is. 00:15:41.919 --> 00:15:45.120 And the truth is they often go completely unnoticed. 00:15:45.200 --> 00:16:00.639 And what happens is a bacteria starts to grow in our life where we look at these questions, and anytime someone brings it up, like a pastor on a Sunday in a gym at Del Mar High School, we start to get kind of angry and agitated because something's growing in us that's disgusting. 00:16:02.320 --> 00:16:06.480 Because to be a human being is to experience these four questions. 00:16:06.799 --> 00:16:11.919 It just like is a part of the nature of living on this earth. 00:16:12.559 --> 00:16:27.039 And so when we encounter forgiveness, though, and we try to practice it, we're really clumsy with it, mostly because forgiveness is not only the most untapped resource in all of Christian living, I believe forgiveness is the most misunderstood concept in Christian living. 00:16:27.200 --> 00:16:31.360 Here's five, just five lies I hear about forgiveness all the time as a pastor. 00:16:31.600 --> 00:16:34.799 First one is I hear people talk tell about forgive and forget. 00:16:35.679 --> 00:16:45.679 Hey, just like water under the bridge, man, like that happened, forget about it, and when you forgive, it should allow you to forget the pain. 00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:48.480 And it is not that at all. 00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:56.240 Forgiveness, if forgiveness is the God-given ability for you and me to say you don't owe me anymore, we gotta know what they owe. 00:16:56.720 --> 00:16:58.320 We gotta know the pain. 00:16:58.639 --> 00:17:02.480 We have to know the thing that has grieved us, right? 00:17:03.039 --> 00:17:04.960 Forgiveness is not about forgetting. 00:17:05.039 --> 00:17:08.400 That's why we've called this series forgive and forgive. 00:17:08.960 --> 00:17:18.079 Because it's not so much, and we're gonna talk way more about this next week, it is not so much about forgiving and then forgetting and then like it's over. 00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:25.680 It's actually about living in forgiveness towards other people for your whole life, waking up every day and choosing forgiveness. 00:17:25.920 --> 00:17:26.880 It is a process. 00:17:27.119 --> 00:17:28.319 Which leads me to number two. 00:17:28.400 --> 00:17:30.640 I always hear people talk about forgiveness as an event. 00:17:30.799 --> 00:17:31.359 Do you hear this? 00:17:31.519 --> 00:17:32.799 I hear it all the time. 00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:35.759 Someone comes to me and says, Chris, I need to forgive this person. 00:17:35.839 --> 00:17:37.680 I'm working up the courage for this conversation. 00:17:37.759 --> 00:17:42.559 I'm gonna have this conversation with them and say, You did this to me, I don't owe you anymore. 00:17:42.880 --> 00:17:45.920 I forgive you, then it's gonna be over. 00:17:46.400 --> 00:17:50.880 And anyone who has worked through forgiveness in their life will tell you, it doesn't work that way. 00:17:51.119 --> 00:17:54.000 It is not an event, it is a process. 00:17:54.160 --> 00:18:01.200 It requires remembering the pain and continually saying, you don't owe me anything anymore by God's grace. 00:18:01.440 --> 00:18:03.200 It's not about forgetting, it's not an event. 00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:07.200 And the third lie is I often hear people talk about it in equating it with reconciliation. 00:18:07.279 --> 00:18:11.039 They'll use it in the same exact phrase, the same exact, it's like a synonym. 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:16.240 But these are two different words for a reason because they have two entirely different dictionary meanings. 00:18:16.400 --> 00:18:17.279 It's different. 00:18:17.519 --> 00:18:21.119 Forgiveness, Jesus says you can forgive someone from your heart. 00:18:21.279 --> 00:18:22.480 He says this in Matthew 18. 00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:25.279 He says, forgive your brother and sister from your heart. 00:18:25.519 --> 00:18:26.640 Now, what does that mean? 00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:30.400 It means that you actually don't need to go talk to that toxic person again. 00:18:30.720 --> 00:18:35.839 Actually, that forgiveness allows you to forgive somebody without having the conversation. 00:18:36.000 --> 00:18:41.680 There's people in your life you need to forgive, but you cannot reconcile with because they're dangerous, they're crazy, they're toxic. 00:18:41.839 --> 00:18:43.599 Never go to see them again. 00:18:44.000 --> 00:18:50.720 Because you are drawing that good boundary, isn't it amazing that God gives us the gift of forgiveness and commands that? 00:18:50.799 --> 00:18:58.559 Because you'll notice in all those commands I read you off, he didn't say, I command you to be reconciled with one another, and if you're reconciled with one another, you'll be reconciled to God. 00:18:58.720 --> 00:18:59.920 No, he can't do that. 00:19:00.240 --> 00:19:03.039 Because forgiveness is a one-way road. 00:19:03.359 --> 00:19:06.079 Reconciliation is a two-way road. 00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:13.039 Reconciliation requires the other party to receive the forgiveness and humbly repent and come back. 00:19:14.480 --> 00:19:18.240 So long as that doesn't happen, forgiveness is the only option. 00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:24.960 But forgiveness is the true path forward because there's so many people in our life that aren't going to receive our forgiveness, right? 00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:29.359 And there's so many people in our life that we can't see again because of what they've done. 00:19:29.680 --> 00:19:39.119 And God gives us this great gift in the one-way road of forgiveness to say, I can issue forgiveness and say, you don't owe me anymore anything anymore, and I don't even need to tell you that. 00:19:39.359 --> 00:19:41.759 I don't need to call you on the phone, I don't need to write you a letter. 00:19:41.839 --> 00:19:50.960 I can actually, in prayer and Christian community, look across the horizon of my life and truly say, I'm not gonna hold any debts against you. 00:19:53.039 --> 00:19:57.519 Fourth, people often think that forgiveness removes the consequences of behavior. 00:19:58.400 --> 00:19:59.279 No, it doesn't. 00:19:59.359 --> 00:20:02.240 You I put up there, you can forgive somebody in prison. 00:20:02.480 --> 00:20:08.720 I mean, consequences exist, and some people do things to us that need to be punished under the law. 00:20:09.039 --> 00:20:14.240 Forgiveness does not mean you are uh washing away those consequences. 00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:19.920 I'll give you this example, Pope John Paul II, an assassination attempt was made on his life. 00:20:20.079 --> 00:20:21.039 Have you seen this photo? 00:20:21.119 --> 00:20:22.640 It's a famous historical photo. 00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:24.640 He met with his assassin. 00:20:25.759 --> 00:20:31.359 This is Pope John Paul with Mehmet Agja, who shot him weeks before. 00:20:32.960 --> 00:20:44.880 After John Paul recovered, because he survived a gunshot wound, obviously, he met with him in prison and he said to this man, You don't owe me anything anymore by God's grace, and I love you. 00:20:46.400 --> 00:20:49.200 This man died in an Italian prison, Agja. 00:20:50.319 --> 00:20:57.680 He suffered the consequences of his behavior, but John Paul was able to issue forgiveness. 00:20:58.079 --> 00:21:05.599 You see, forgiveness does not mean that people don't sleep in the bed that they've made, it just means that you don't hold it against them. 00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:09.359 It's your choice through God's power. 00:21:09.680 --> 00:21:11.279 The fifth lie is simple. 00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:13.440 Many people think forgiveness is free. 00:21:14.400 --> 00:21:15.359 It is not. 00:21:15.839 --> 00:21:18.799 It is costly, but it is freeing. 00:21:19.039 --> 00:21:20.400 But it ain't free. 00:21:20.720 --> 00:21:26.720 No, forgiveness is not free because forgiveness, when you when somebody owes you something, somebody's gotta pay the debt. 00:21:27.039 --> 00:21:28.400 Somebody has to pay. 00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:32.400 And in forgiveness, you're just saying they don't have to pay anymore. 00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:35.279 They don't owe you anything anymore. 00:21:35.519 --> 00:21:37.279 You see, forgiveness is costly. 00:21:37.440 --> 00:21:41.920 Forgiveness is not, and married couples, you gotta hear hear me on this especially. 00:21:42.160 --> 00:21:44.720 Forgiveness is not I'm sorry. 00:21:45.440 --> 00:21:48.319 I'm sorry is is is is free. 00:21:48.559 --> 00:21:49.680 That's a free thing. 00:21:50.319 --> 00:21:56.799 Will you forgive me is a costly question that puts the power in the other person's hands. 00:21:57.759 --> 00:21:59.759 And that person can say, Yes, I don't, you don't. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.200 Owe me anything anymore. 00:22:01.359 --> 00:22:17.279 You see, forgiveness acknowledges the debt that is owed to us, it takes account for what has been done, it stares hurt in the face, and it just decides emphatically, by God's power, not to hold that hurt and that debt against another person. 00:22:17.440 --> 00:22:22.720 And when that decision is made, someone has to bear the cost. 00:22:23.839 --> 00:22:27.200 This is why the new the Bible teaches atonement. 00:22:27.279 --> 00:22:31.119 This is a theological term that we have lost in our whole culture. 00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:34.000 And if we recovered it, it would help us out a ton. 00:22:34.160 --> 00:22:35.279 Do you know what atonement is? 00:22:35.440 --> 00:22:38.400 It's the removal of sin and guilt off of a party. 00:22:39.119 --> 00:22:43.519 We have in this country no formal process to atone for sins. 00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:46.240 We have punishment and we have vengeance. 00:22:46.480 --> 00:22:48.160 But we don't have atonement. 00:22:48.480 --> 00:23:03.599 Atonement, biblically, it used to look like they would take the sins of a person or a nation or a country or a city or a tribe, they'd put it on an animal, they'd kill the animal, and they'd say, you are free of the sin because we've put it on the animal and the animal's now dead. 00:23:03.920 --> 00:23:07.519 So someone did pay the cost, because the cost had to be paid. 00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:20.799 Somebody had to look at the blood in the sacrifice and go, someone paid for this sin, which is why, remarkably, in the New Testament, Jesus comes and he's proclaiming himself as the sacrificial lamb of atonement. 00:23:21.359 --> 00:23:34.640 Because in Jesus Christ, 1 Peter 2.24 says, in his uh he bore for himself our sins in his body on the cross. 00:23:35.039 --> 00:23:41.920 The sins of the world were put on Jesus Christ, and Jesus did not just have a really tough physical death where he bled. 00:23:42.079 --> 00:23:45.279 He had a spiritual demise on the cross. 00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:50.000 And on that cross is what we sing about and share about all the time. 00:23:50.079 --> 00:23:50.640 That's what I'm saying. 00:23:50.720 --> 00:23:51.680 It's overlooked. 00:23:52.480 --> 00:23:56.160 My point is if you're a Christian, the sin has been paid for. 00:23:56.400 --> 00:23:58.799 The bacteria has been absorbed. 00:23:59.200 --> 00:24:03.279 All we need is to just extract the penicillin to be able to issue it to other people. 00:24:04.079 --> 00:24:16.160 You see, the absolute disgust and vile nature of sin is the stuff that hurts us and harms us, but Christ bore that on the cross. 00:24:16.319 --> 00:24:18.240 He has atoned for sin. 00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:22.880 Don't mistake, there is a cost to offer forgiveness. 00:24:22.960 --> 00:24:27.759 But I want to ask you this: is there a cost to withholding it as well? 00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:44.799 I get it, there's a cost to look across at your family member, to look across at the person who broke your heart, to look at your up across at your wayward child, or to look at your own parent and say, you don't know me anymore. 00:24:44.880 --> 00:24:48.000 It costs something, but I just I have to ask you this question, right? 00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:51.519 Could it cost more to not forgive? 00:24:51.759 --> 00:24:53.279 I think it does. 00:24:53.920 --> 00:25:02.559 I I was first confronted with this question when I was 19 years old, and I really got gravely hurt for the first time. 00:25:03.680 --> 00:25:08.160 I was living in Portland, and my parents were still living there. 00:25:08.319 --> 00:25:10.880 My brother was in Boston, my sister was in Michigan. 00:25:11.039 --> 00:25:16.000 We were having a family dinner with just the three of us, supposed to come over for what I thought was a birthday dinner. 00:25:16.079 --> 00:25:17.920 It was the day before my birthday. 00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:24.640 And I walk in the house, and my mom is on the couch uncontrollably crying. 00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:28.880 I'm like, what's happening? 00:25:29.440 --> 00:25:33.359 And it was through that night that my father left. 00:25:34.400 --> 00:25:40.400 He left with very little of an explanation and under vague circumstances. 00:25:41.039 --> 00:25:48.799 And over the course of the next five years, repeatedly and consistently hurt our family in various ways. 00:25:49.200 --> 00:26:06.160 And that night, back when I was 19 years old, 15 plus years ago, man, I look and see something was happening around this question, forcing me to reckon with the cost to potentially forgive and the cost to not. 00:26:06.960 --> 00:26:09.119 I'd almost describe it in three metaphors. 00:26:09.200 --> 00:26:12.400 If you've ever been hurt, maybe you've seen this before in your own life. 00:26:12.559 --> 00:26:14.160 Like three things were going on. 00:26:14.400 --> 00:26:19.759 First thing was that a debt started to be accrued that day between me and my dad. 00:26:20.079 --> 00:26:25.200 Other things were going on in my life of like not inconsequential pain. 00:26:25.440 --> 00:26:32.480 I had a friend that was really battling addiction that within the next two, three years would die because of his addiction. 00:26:33.039 --> 00:26:37.839 And a friend of mine earlier that year had passed away from cancer. 00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:42.720 Pain was in my life, and then my father leaves in the midst of all of this. 00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:51.359 And I started to look at him and calculate everything he ever owed me and everything he was gonna owe me. 00:26:51.759 --> 00:27:10.319 He owed me an explanation, he owed me an apology, he owed me a future because I had this whole plan of like, I don't know, getting married and having like my parents as the grandparents to my kids, and like he owed me, I started to stack a debt against him in my mind, right? 00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:20.000 That's the first the second metaphor is that that of the bacteria, like something disgusting started to grow inside of who I was. 00:27:20.319 --> 00:27:26.480 My character started to become malformed because of the pain that was in my life. 00:27:26.720 --> 00:27:29.119 Something disgusting and nasty in me. 00:27:29.279 --> 00:27:39.440 Like I used to look at my dad and have loving thoughts and exciting thoughts and um positive thoughts, and I started to look at him with vengeance. 00:27:40.319 --> 00:27:43.200 And I started to look at him in hatred. 00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:56.079 And some of the ways that that fostered was in a kind of resentment that leaked out in sometimes some shocking and terrible ways, where I said things to him that I regret to this day. 00:27:56.319 --> 00:28:03.680 And I said them because I was deeply hurt and some bacteria was growing in me and it was spreading. 00:28:04.640 --> 00:28:14.720 And the third metaphor I'd use is that I felt like not only was there a debt accruing and a bacteria was growing, but I also feel like a road really diverged that day he left. 00:28:14.880 --> 00:28:21.039 A road diverged in my mind between this question of do I forgive or do I not? 00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:25.039 And I could almost see into my future of what it would look like. 00:28:25.200 --> 00:28:36.960 And I don't know if God gave me this or if this is just something I thought, but like I could see my life in 20 years if I just kept growing in resentment and bitterness. 00:28:38.079 --> 00:28:40.480 And it looked disgusting. 00:28:41.440 --> 00:28:51.119 When I tell you that Jesus has come to give us life and to tell us to forgive so that we might have life, I know what I'm talking about in this way. 00:28:51.279 --> 00:28:56.480 It's like, dude, I felt like my very life was at stake. 00:28:57.039 --> 00:29:03.359 Like, would I be that 45-year-old dude who's just mad at his dad? 00:29:04.160 --> 00:29:05.680 Would I parent that way? 00:29:05.839 --> 00:29:10.640 Would I raise kids out of a way of negativity and this is what I'm not gonna be? 00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:13.599 Or and the other path was so less clear. 00:29:13.759 --> 00:29:16.480 I was like, is there just another way to live? 00:29:16.559 --> 00:29:19.119 You know, like the road has diverged here. 00:29:19.839 --> 00:29:22.160 And this is the choice set before us. 00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:24.480 This is why Hebrews 12 says this. 00:29:24.720 --> 00:29:31.680 It says, strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. 00:29:31.920 --> 00:29:35.839 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God. 00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:40.160 Look at this, that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble. 00:29:40.400 --> 00:29:43.599 And by it many become defiled. 00:29:44.559 --> 00:29:48.319 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God. 00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:52.240 It is possible to fail to obtain the grace of God. 00:29:52.559 --> 00:29:53.519 Obtain, what does that mean? 00:29:53.599 --> 00:29:55.920 To possess, to hold it near. 00:29:56.400 --> 00:30:02.079 Is it possible to not be able to hold God's grace near to your life? 00:30:02.319 --> 00:30:03.839 The scripture would tell me that it is. 00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:16.720 And honestly, experience would tell me, being a pastor for 15 years, look like walking with people through much hurt and bitterness and resentment, like I said, is an often undiagnosed spiritual condition, bitterness. 00:30:17.039 --> 00:30:20.960 Because, like it says, by it many become defiled. 00:30:21.119 --> 00:30:25.039 The weird thing about bitterness is it harms you more than it harms the other person. 00:30:26.079 --> 00:30:31.279 It's a bacteria that is festering in you that only sheds to other people. 00:30:31.920 --> 00:30:35.359 But it's really destroying your life and not theirs. 00:30:35.599 --> 00:30:36.880 Why root of bitterness? 00:30:37.039 --> 00:30:38.400 Well, you know how roots work, right? 00:30:38.559 --> 00:30:44.559 Like roots, if you have the right nutrients beneath the roots, great things can happen, right? 00:30:45.039 --> 00:30:49.519 But if you have nasty nutrients, it can destroy the whole tree. 00:30:50.559 --> 00:31:01.440 And that quote comes from Deuteronomy 29, where God's telling his people back in Deuteronomy, like, look, if you guys have just a shred of pride, it's gonna spring up. 00:31:01.680 --> 00:31:04.559 See, a root of bitterness harms the whole tree. 00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:07.839 What happens if we withhold forgiveness? 00:31:08.079 --> 00:31:10.240 What happens when we withhold forgiveness? 00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:12.079 Bitterness happens. 00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:20.319 And like I said, bitterness is the, in my experience, one of the most common undiagnosed spiritual conditions on the planet. 00:31:20.720 --> 00:31:21.759 A festering. 00:31:21.839 --> 00:31:23.359 What is burn uh what is bitterness? 00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:31.359 It is a fermentation and protection of angry, resentful feelings after having been treated unfairly. 00:31:32.960 --> 00:31:41.119 The fermentation and protection of angry, resentful feelings after having been treated unfairly. 00:31:42.160 --> 00:31:51.119 Bitterness, friends, it will block you from experiencing the goodness of God until you give it to God. 00:31:52.880 --> 00:32:00.960 And I know firsthand because I saw bitterness grow in my life for the first couple years after my dad left. 00:32:01.119 --> 00:32:04.880 Because, like I said, it wasn't just my dad, it was like all these other things that were going on in my life. 00:32:05.039 --> 00:32:13.680 Friend wrestling with addiction hurt me and harmed me in particular ways, grief of losing a friend to cancer and stuff, so much pain. 00:32:14.160 --> 00:32:18.720 You guys, bitterness just started to like leak out a little bit in weird ways. 00:32:18.880 --> 00:32:20.240 You know you're bitter. 00:32:20.880 --> 00:32:23.759 Really, you're the last person to know, actually. 00:32:24.720 --> 00:32:26.640 Other people know it. 00:32:27.440 --> 00:32:31.359 And the longer you are bitter, the more you learn to live with it. 00:32:31.599 --> 00:32:34.559 Kind of like a bacterial infection that you never treat. 00:32:34.720 --> 00:32:43.920 Just constantly learning how to adjust your life and present yourself as a presentable, kind person when inside something's eating you alive. 00:32:44.079 --> 00:32:47.920 It's pain, it's hurt, it's a debt that has not been forgiven. 00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:53.599 And this was this was my life, living in a kind of, you know, despair. 00:32:53.839 --> 00:32:58.400 Like I remember, and I feel like these are a few things to watch out for, right? 00:32:58.480 --> 00:33:05.279 Like, I remember being surprised at my own anger over seemingly trite things. 00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:12.480 I just got angry quickly, and I didn't know why. 00:33:13.440 --> 00:33:15.680 Losing sleep over a negative event. 00:33:15.839 --> 00:33:18.880 I definitely lost sleep over this negative event. 00:33:19.680 --> 00:33:25.599 Maybe a loss will occur and you'll grieve it for a little bit, but you won't grieve it for a while. 00:33:25.920 --> 00:33:30.000 Ungrieved loss, lack of lament in your life. 00:33:30.160 --> 00:33:40.480 There became a time about a year in after my dad left and that my family was just kind of breaking apart where I realized I wasn't sad anymore. 00:33:41.279 --> 00:33:46.720 And looking back, that should have terrified me, but I felt empowered by my own anger. 00:33:46.960 --> 00:33:50.559 And what I realized is that anger had just replaced my sadness. 00:33:52.640 --> 00:33:57.599 And I was kind of walking as a shell of a dude around 20 or 21. 00:33:58.640 --> 00:34:01.680 Just convincing other people that I could be a good Christian. 00:34:01.839 --> 00:34:05.599 I was on the track to be in ministry, I wanted to impress people. 00:34:07.279 --> 00:34:21.519 And these warning signs were flying, and I'm telling you, I realized bitterness was growing, and I was frustrated by the fact that my dad wasn't the problem anymore. 00:34:22.559 --> 00:34:24.000 Suddenly I was. 00:34:25.760 --> 00:34:31.360 Suddenly I couldn't blame the pain on anything or anyone anymore. 00:34:31.679 --> 00:34:36.960 But my lack of joy and peace and communion with God was not a result of my dad. 00:34:37.840 --> 00:34:39.360 It was a result of me. 00:34:42.719 --> 00:34:48.000 You see, I think a lot of times we know the pain that has been done to us. 00:34:48.800 --> 00:34:51.679 We don't know what the pain is doing to us. 00:34:53.760 --> 00:34:59.760 Like, we could go around this room, it would be exhausting, and talk about all the pain we've been through. 00:35:00.079 --> 00:35:01.360 Because you know it. 00:35:01.920 --> 00:35:08.320 A little bit of reflection will take you time to go, man, I know who has hurt me and who has failed me and how I failed others. 00:35:08.559 --> 00:35:13.360 But like we often don't understand what that pain is then doing to us. 00:35:13.440 --> 00:35:16.480 We know the pain done, we don't know what the pain is doing. 00:35:17.679 --> 00:35:24.400 The only way I ever knew what the pain was doing was God's grace in my life through two really surprising communities. 00:35:25.360 --> 00:35:31.760 The continent of Africa and the recovery community. 00:35:32.639 --> 00:35:36.079 Alcoholics Anonymous, celebrate recovery. 00:35:37.039 --> 00:35:44.880 I wasn't struggling with any particular addiction, but I went to celebrate recovery and received surprising insights. 00:35:45.360 --> 00:35:47.679 Let me talk about Africa really fast first. 00:35:47.920 --> 00:35:55.039 One of the things you do when you're in pain is you justify your bitterness and lack of forgiveness by doing the suffering Olympics. 00:35:55.199 --> 00:35:56.000 You ever do this? 00:35:56.320 --> 00:36:01.119 Well, my pain sucks, but it's not as bad as, right? 00:36:03.360 --> 00:36:08.320 And then also, my pain is bad, and these people have it so much easier, right? 00:36:08.480 --> 00:36:20.480 It's kind of works both ways, where it's like we kind of play this competition of our pain, and it excuses us to live a life of unforgiveness and just kind of sit in our pain. 00:36:20.880 --> 00:36:37.679 When I met people doing Christian ministry and theology in Africa, across the whole continent, but particularly in the Great Lakes regions, like Rwanda, Uganda, uh, Democratic Republic of Congo, Ethiopia, beautiful part of the world, beautiful Christian hope coming from there. 00:36:37.760 --> 00:36:39.280 You know, by the way, this one's for free. 00:36:39.360 --> 00:36:41.360 You know there's more Christians in Africa than here, right? 00:36:41.440 --> 00:36:42.159 Like tons more. 00:36:42.239 --> 00:36:42.559 Okay. 00:36:42.800 --> 00:36:45.360 We are not the leaders uh in America, okay? 00:36:45.920 --> 00:36:48.960 Africa's leading the way, they have led the way for many years. 00:36:49.119 --> 00:37:23.599 Um when I got to know people over there doing Christian ministry, okay, their pain, particularly getting to know Fred Kotagua, who was a Bible teacher at Africa New Life Bible Church in Rwanda, and also the work of Emmanuel Cantagale, he's now teaching at um Notre Dame, and then um Desmond Tutu, who's from South Africa, so not the Great Lakes region, but um, you know, these these countries have gone through national reckoning that I can't comp I actually cannot comprehend it. 00:37:23.760 --> 00:37:39.199 And I've read some of it and I've heard the stories of child soldiers in parts of Africa, and people who survived the genocide in Rwanda, and people who uh recounted the civil war in Uganda, these incredible, incredible, terrible, I mean, the the pinnacle of human evil. 00:37:39.519 --> 00:37:51.280 And what's so interesting is in the disgusting evil that happens there, in that petri dish, so to speak, a penicillin has been discovered, I think, in Africa. 00:37:51.519 --> 00:38:02.079 And it has a word to us here in America, which is this the theologians over there, they noticed that in the generations that were coming out, this particularly in Rwanda, this is what Fred Kotagua used to say. 00:38:02.159 --> 00:38:12.559 He's like, coming out of the bitter or the um the experience of the genocide, there were all these young people who had no brothers and sisters and no parents. 00:38:12.719 --> 00:38:13.920 And he's like, you know what? 00:38:14.000 --> 00:38:20.400 The number one thing I notice in these kids is bitterness and resentment. 00:38:22.079 --> 00:38:25.199 And a type of despair that has no future. 00:38:26.079 --> 00:38:29.599 You can't foresee your future when you have killed each other. 00:38:29.760 --> 00:38:40.400 And the hope of the gospel that Fred Kotagua or Emmanuel Cantagale, some of these people, or Desmond Tutu in South Africa, what they have said is that forgiveness is the only path out. 00:38:40.880 --> 00:38:48.719 They realized within their own country, where there was bitterness growing, there was also a penicillin. 00:38:48.880 --> 00:38:55.199 There was a healing agent growing in the country that if they could point it out and go, man, God is at work here and God is doing something. 00:38:55.280 --> 00:39:00.159 And if we just extract the grace of God from this bitterness, it'll take the sting. 00:39:00.239 --> 00:39:01.760 It won't completely repair. 00:39:01.840 --> 00:39:14.320 Again, we're not forgetting the past, we're not just not letting anybody suffer consequences, but we're able to say to each other, as a country, as a nation, as people, you don't owe me anything anymore by God's grace. 00:39:14.559 --> 00:39:28.400 And I remember hearing that and just going, What am I doing holding on to my pain when my brothers and sisters aren't holding on to theirs? 00:39:31.360 --> 00:39:37.599 Emmanuel Contagole, he put it this way bitterness, because he noticed the same thing in uh Uganda. 00:39:38.000 --> 00:39:39.280 He's a Catholic priest from Uganda. 00:39:39.440 --> 00:39:43.280 Bitterness is like a cancer that enters into the soul. 00:39:43.679 --> 00:39:48.000 It does more harm to those who hold it than those who it is held against. 00:39:48.239 --> 00:39:53.119 But the forgiveness is right there and it opens the road to healing. 00:39:53.440 --> 00:39:55.039 Forgiveness is right there. 00:39:55.280 --> 00:39:58.480 He's like, forgiveness is sitting next to the bitterness. 00:39:58.719 --> 00:40:08.320 And if we end up seeing God's grace in our life and his ability to offer us something, we can offer the world a brand new gift of forgiveness. 00:40:08.480 --> 00:40:10.639 What does God offer us then? 00:40:10.880 --> 00:40:12.480 What is this forgiveness? 00:40:12.639 --> 00:40:14.320 Look back at Hebrews 12, 15. 00:40:14.400 --> 00:40:21.119 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God, that no root of bitterness springs up, and by it many become defiled. 00:40:21.199 --> 00:40:26.239 It makes me think if we obtain the grace of God, the people around us will not be defiled. 00:40:26.480 --> 00:40:30.880 So, what does it mean to receive and take in God's grace in our lives? 00:40:31.039 --> 00:40:36.159 That's what I learned through Celebrate Recovery, which is kind of the alcoholics synonymous for Christians. 00:40:36.480 --> 00:40:39.599 Kind of throw great theology into Celebrate Recovery. 00:40:39.679 --> 00:40:40.559 Some of you have been through it. 00:40:40.719 --> 00:40:41.599 I went through it again. 00:40:41.679 --> 00:40:45.199 I didn't have any particular addiction in my life, but I was just in so much pain. 00:40:45.440 --> 00:40:52.800 And it was these guys, you know, I met with these guys 12 rounds through the 12 steps, and then I led two groups through it. 00:40:52.960 --> 00:40:58.800 And like in the uh in the process, man, it is punishing in a good way. 00:40:58.960 --> 00:41:01.199 They do not let you get away from anything. 00:41:01.360 --> 00:41:05.599 You know, they're like, today we're gonna talk about how resentment is the root of all of our problems. 00:41:05.679 --> 00:41:08.559 And I say, I don't feel resentful, and they say, try again. 00:41:10.159 --> 00:41:13.360 I'm like, I don't know, I'm not really struggling with anything in particular. 00:41:13.519 --> 00:41:14.639 Try again. 00:41:15.039 --> 00:41:22.320 And I met with these dudes every week and they prayed over me and they convinced me that I was not the person I was pretending to be, man. 00:41:22.800 --> 00:41:31.119 That really beneath the facade of Chris Nye that was presenting himself was a broken, resentful, angry young man. 00:41:31.440 --> 00:41:37.519 And that if I allowed that young man to become an old man, I would defile many people's lives. 00:41:38.719 --> 00:41:39.760 Including my own. 00:41:42.079 --> 00:41:44.239 You know, celebrate recovery, they have 12 steps. 00:41:44.320 --> 00:41:45.519 Here's the first three. 00:41:45.760 --> 00:41:47.760 And this is what I mean of what God's offering us. 00:41:47.840 --> 00:41:51.840 He actually offers us the ability to admit that we are powerless. 00:41:52.079 --> 00:41:55.440 And I love it, that our lives have become unmanageable. 00:41:57.440 --> 00:42:06.639 I think it was when I was like 20 and yelling at my dad on the phone uncontrollably that I realized things were not manageable. 00:42:08.159 --> 00:42:08.639 Yeah. 00:42:10.239 --> 00:42:13.199 That actually I'm powerless to change myself. 00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:17.760 And I have no atonement to offer. 00:42:18.559 --> 00:42:20.880 I can't take on my dad's sin. 00:42:22.960 --> 00:42:33.199 So it's either I hold it against him or I put it on to the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, where it belongs in the first place and where it has always been, anyways. 00:42:36.159 --> 00:42:41.840 Secondly, we come to believe that a power greater than ourselves is the only one that could restore us to sanity. 00:42:43.280 --> 00:42:43.920 Yeah. 00:42:44.800 --> 00:42:51.679 And three, we make a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God. 00:42:55.360 --> 00:42:57.360 Yeah, and then there's nine more steps. 00:42:57.519 --> 00:43:04.079 Um you can see I got beat up for a couple years of just like, dude, what is God's grace mean? 00:43:04.320 --> 00:43:05.679 And you know what I realized, man? 00:43:05.760 --> 00:43:09.199 I realized that that's why I thought of the penicillin analogy. 00:43:09.440 --> 00:43:14.880 It's like as the bitterness was growing in me, something else was in the dish. 00:43:16.639 --> 00:43:23.840 Something was in the bacteria that was fighting the bacteria and conquering the bacteria. 00:43:24.320 --> 00:43:25.920 Who could possibly do that? 00:43:26.159 --> 00:43:27.360 No other human being. 00:43:27.519 --> 00:43:30.239 It makes me think of Jesus at the end of his life. 00:43:30.400 --> 00:43:35.599 He's sitting around a table with his friends, and this is our gift to close on, our gift of communion. 00:43:35.679 --> 00:43:37.440 This is why we're going to take communion right now. 00:43:37.599 --> 00:43:39.360 It's because we have to bring our bitterness to him. 00:43:39.519 --> 00:43:40.800 Matthew 26. 00:43:42.639 --> 00:43:50.239 Now, as they were eating, Jesus took bread and blessing it, he broke it and he gave it to disciples, and he said, This, take, eat. 00:43:50.559 --> 00:43:52.480 This is my body. 00:43:52.800 --> 00:43:55.039 And he took the cup, he'd given thanks. 00:43:55.119 --> 00:43:59.360 He gave it to them, saying, Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant. 00:43:59.440 --> 00:44:02.880 Look at This, which is poured out for many for what? 00:44:03.760 --> 00:44:05.679 The forgiveness of sins. 00:44:06.960 --> 00:44:11.360 How do I know that we can entrust God with our bitterness and bring God's grace into our life? 00:44:11.519 --> 00:44:12.079 Here's why. 00:44:12.320 --> 00:44:14.800 You and I, we hold on to our bitterness. 00:44:14.960 --> 00:44:17.599 You and I, we possess our pain. 00:44:18.079 --> 00:44:22.639 God looks at us and he doesn't hold our bitterness against us. 00:44:23.360 --> 00:44:28.079 He looks at you and says, You don't owe me anything. 00:44:28.880 --> 00:44:39.760 And actually, we come to the table not owing Jesus a thing, because Jesus has paid it all, because Jesus has offered it all on the cross. 00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:46.960 And when he said these words, do you know he was around a table with 12 people who would abandon him at his hour of greatest need? 00:44:47.519 --> 00:44:51.760 Sitting at that table was a bacteria of bitterness growing itself. 00:44:52.079 --> 00:44:55.599 Judas would betray him in a matter of one hour. 00:44:55.920 --> 00:45:06.480 Peter would deny him in a matter of a few hours, and the rest of his disciples would fall asleep right when he was about to be arrested, and at the moment that he needed the most prayer and support, he was abandoned. 00:45:06.800 --> 00:45:15.920 And Jesus Christ chose to treat that abandonment not by holding it against the people at the table, but by absolving them of it. 00:45:16.320 --> 00:45:25.519 By telling them, I am about to die and pour out for you the payment and the forgiveness and the atonement and the remission of all sin. 00:45:26.480 --> 00:45:32.000 And I am the only one who is strong enough to take everything in this room, Jesus says. 00:45:32.239 --> 00:45:49.920 And so we come to the table today with one takeaway from this message: to eat and drink of the forgiveness of God, because I cannot teach you next week about forgiving other people unless we today bring our bitterness before the Lord and believe on his name that he will not hold it against us. 00:45:50.159 --> 00:45:57.920 And that we have to realize a bacteria is forming in our life, of which the only answer is the penicillin of God's grace through Jesus. 00:45:58.079 --> 00:46:01.679 To extract that, to apply that into our lives, to have community. 00:46:01.760 --> 00:46:03.760 It might mean going to counseling for many of you. 00:46:03.920 --> 00:46:06.159 It's going to mean committing to Christian community. 00:46:06.320 --> 00:46:07.440 It's going to mean prayer. 00:46:07.519 --> 00:46:09.199 It's going to mean committing to church. 00:46:09.360 --> 00:46:11.199 It's going to mean a life. 00:46:11.679 --> 00:46:14.639 But right now, what it means is a surrender. 00:46:15.760 --> 00:46:17.840 And so let's do that together. 00:46:18.079 --> 00:46:19.519 Would you pray with me? 00:46:24.400 --> 00:46:34.000 Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, you are the only one who can take on sin. 00:46:35.280 --> 00:46:39.679 You are the only one who can hold the pain of the world. 00:46:40.320 --> 00:46:47.039 You are the only one who can eliminate the bacteria in our lives that's growing. 00:46:48.960 --> 00:46:54.239 I have a sense that there's many here today that do not know much of what's eating away at them. 00:46:54.800 --> 00:47:10.000 My prayer is that your Holy Spirit would illuminate that to them and also good community, good people in their life would show up the way that you showed up in my life through friends across the world and friends close by. 00:47:10.800 --> 00:47:19.760 And Lord, I pray as an act of great significance, communion and worship today would be healing. 00:47:21.519 --> 00:47:23.440 But um, I cannot do that. 00:47:23.599 --> 00:47:26.320 And so we're asking you, Holy Spirit, to take it from here. 00:47:26.400 --> 00:47:27.679 In Christ's name we pray. 00:47:27.920 --> 00:47:28.559 Amen. 00:47:29.760 --> 00:47:32.079 We hope you are blessed by this message. 00:47:32.239 --> 00:47:36.639 Please subscribe to our podcast for access to every episode as they're uploaded. 00:47:36.800 --> 00:47:38.880 And hey, we'd love to connect with you. 00:47:39.039 --> 00:47:45.039 Take a next step by filling out our virtual connection card at awakeningchurch.com slash card.