WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:02.319 Welcome to the Awakening Church podcast. 00:00:02.560 --> 00:00:07.040 We pray this message encourages you and provides the hope and light of Jesus Christ. 00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:08.640 Thanks for tuning in. 00:00:19.359 --> 00:00:23.839 This week I came across a story of an 83-year-old pastor. 00:00:24.160 --> 00:00:26.800 He was in the drive-thru at McDonald's. 00:00:27.280 --> 00:00:29.039 I'll read his words. 00:00:29.120 --> 00:00:30.239 You might be familiar with it. 00:00:30.320 --> 00:00:31.679 You might have seen it. 00:00:32.719 --> 00:00:35.359 I was in the McDonald's drive-thru this morning. 00:00:35.600 --> 00:00:41.920 The young lady behind me leaned on her horn and mouthed some ugly things because I was taking too long to place my order. 00:00:42.399 --> 00:00:47.280 So when I got to the first window, I paid for her order along with mine. 00:00:48.159 --> 00:00:55.920 Cashier must have told her what I'd done because as we moved up, she leaned out her window and waved to me, mouthing, thank you, thank you. 00:00:56.640 --> 00:01:00.479 Probably feeling embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness. 00:01:01.200 --> 00:01:06.719 When I got to the second window, I showed the server both receipts and took her food too. 00:01:10.799 --> 00:01:14.719 Now she has to go back to the end of the queue and start all over again. 00:01:15.359 --> 00:01:17.200 Don't blow your horn at old people. 00:01:17.280 --> 00:01:19.200 We've been around a long time. 00:01:22.239 --> 00:01:26.079 Today we're talking about forgiveness, the deep waters of forgiveness. 00:01:26.159 --> 00:01:30.239 How do we learn to forgive in an age of retribution and retaliation? 00:01:31.359 --> 00:01:33.200 We've all been wounded. 00:01:33.599 --> 00:01:38.159 We've all caused wounds and we all carry deep wounds that others have inflicted. 00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:43.200 And the truth is, is we all struggle with forgiveness. 00:01:43.439 --> 00:01:47.120 And if you don't, just give it some time. 00:01:48.079 --> 00:01:49.359 And then you will. 00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:13.759 Is it even worth it? 00:02:16.319 --> 00:02:18.400 And then the deeper question. 00:02:20.240 --> 00:02:23.439 How do you experience forgiveness from God? 00:02:26.960 --> 00:02:29.280 It was five days before this moment. 00:02:29.759 --> 00:02:31.840 We call it Palm Sunday now. 00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:34.159 It was the triumphal entry. 00:02:35.039 --> 00:02:38.719 The city of Jerusalem's getting prepared for the great feast. 00:02:38.960 --> 00:02:40.960 Passover, it's packed. 00:02:41.039 --> 00:02:44.080 I mean, just slammed with people. 00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:45.520 They've all come. 00:02:45.680 --> 00:02:50.159 It's a pilgrimage from all over to celebrate the feast. 00:02:51.120 --> 00:02:56.719 And Jesus, as he comes in, the people begin to crowd around. 00:02:56.800 --> 00:03:06.319 And as he's riding in, they begin to shout together, Hosanna, Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord. 00:03:06.400 --> 00:03:13.759 And they lay down palms, welcoming Jesus in as if he is the new King of Israel. 00:03:17.280 --> 00:03:24.719 Twenty-four hours before this moment, his disciples got into a fight. 00:03:25.520 --> 00:03:28.240 They were arguing about who is the greatest. 00:03:28.400 --> 00:03:36.000 You can only imagine because they saw Jesus entering, he's about to be coronated, and they want to know who's going to be the greatest. 00:03:39.439 --> 00:03:46.800 And then they sit at what they didn't know would be the Last Supper with Jesus. 00:03:48.240 --> 00:03:57.680 Where he got up from the table and he stooped low and washed all of his disciples' feet, including Judas. 00:03:58.080 --> 00:04:12.240 Judas, who earlier had struck a deal with the religious leaders to sell, you know, to betray Jesus for 30 pieces of gold, uh, silver, rather, and he got up from the table and left. 00:04:12.560 --> 00:04:14.319 Disciples didn't even know why. 00:04:14.639 --> 00:04:17.600 Thought Jesus had sent him on an errand or something. 00:04:17.920 --> 00:04:31.199 A few hours later, Jesus is in the garden praying in agony, such agony that his sweat is mixed with blood that is pouring from his pores. 00:04:32.240 --> 00:04:36.720 And his disciples, who he asked to pray with him, just simply fell asleep. 00:04:36.959 --> 00:04:39.360 And then a midnight mob came. 00:04:41.439 --> 00:04:50.319 And they come in the middle of the night with clubs and swords, and they arrest Jesus and take him. 00:04:51.600 --> 00:04:58.160 And there's an unjust, illegal, corrupt trial where Peter's right there, by the way. 00:04:58.319 --> 00:04:59.519 Can you only imagine this? 00:04:59.680 --> 00:05:09.439 Peter follows all the way there, and he's in the courtyard and he denies Jesus to the point that he can actually see Jesus and Jesus can see him. 00:05:14.720 --> 00:05:18.800 Next morning, Jesus is brought before Pilate where he is condemned. 00:05:20.240 --> 00:05:33.600 And then think about this, the creator of the universe, Jesus, who when he first walked with humanity, it was in the cool of the day. 00:05:34.879 --> 00:05:43.600 Now walks towards the hill called the skull, carrying a cross being pushed out by his own creation. 00:05:46.319 --> 00:05:52.240 And the first words of Jesus' sermon from the cross. 00:06:14.959 --> 00:06:18.720 They have no idea who they nailed to the cross. 00:06:18.879 --> 00:06:24.720 They have no idea that their very creator is the one hanging there. 00:06:25.040 --> 00:06:32.160 They don't understand the gravity, the weight, the significance of what just happened. 00:06:38.079 --> 00:06:43.600 Jesus has much to teach us when it comes to forgiveness. 00:06:44.079 --> 00:06:58.079 And I want to just draw your attention to three things when it comes to Jesus' first sermon, first saying of the cross, his first words. 00:06:58.319 --> 00:06:59.519 Father, forgive them. 00:06:59.759 --> 00:07:05.519 First thing I want you to notice is that forgiveness is actually a divine act. 00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:07.759 It's supernatural. 00:07:09.279 --> 00:07:11.040 You know what's natural. 00:07:12.079 --> 00:07:14.160 Natural is to pay back. 00:07:14.959 --> 00:07:18.480 Our natural human response is to get even. 00:07:19.439 --> 00:07:20.879 That's natural. 00:07:21.360 --> 00:07:22.879 That's easy. 00:07:23.439 --> 00:07:27.199 Forgiveness is a divine act, is a supernatural act. 00:07:27.360 --> 00:07:31.360 What's natural is we hurt and we hurt one another and we pay back. 00:07:31.519 --> 00:07:34.560 What's supernatural is to forgive. 00:07:35.199 --> 00:07:36.319 In fact, uh, Dr. 00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:52.720 Hannah Arden, she, not a Christian by any means, or she's since passed, but she was a German Jew, escaped Paris during the Holocaust, philosopher, historian, one of the uh most influential political theorists of the 20th century, writes this. 00:07:54.480 --> 00:08:00.639 The discoverer of the role of forgiveness in the realm of human affairs was Jesus of Nazareth. 00:08:01.439 --> 00:08:09.759 And to her point, was just because it was written in a religious context, don't dismiss it because of its significance. 00:08:10.399 --> 00:08:16.480 And in her book, The Human Condition, she writes about the problem of irreversibility. 00:08:16.800 --> 00:08:21.120 And the problem of irreversibility is you can't undo what you have done. 00:08:21.360 --> 00:08:23.920 And I can't undo what I have done, right? 00:08:24.160 --> 00:08:26.399 The minute we do it, we can't take it back. 00:08:26.560 --> 00:08:29.040 The minute we say it, we can't take it back. 00:08:29.279 --> 00:08:37.120 And if there is no forgiveness, you are destined by one single deed, and you can never undo it. 00:08:39.360 --> 00:08:44.080 Forgiveness is this divine act. 00:08:44.879 --> 00:08:48.960 Without forgiveness, we are stuck. 00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:51.200 Dead. 00:08:52.159 --> 00:08:54.799 Not able to move forward relationally. 00:08:55.039 --> 00:08:56.080 Well, what is forgiveness? 00:08:56.240 --> 00:09:00.559 Forgiveness is simply replacing ill will towards the offender with goodwill. 00:09:00.639 --> 00:09:06.720 It's not holding over, it's giving what they don't deserve, it's letting go of your right to pay them back. 00:09:09.519 --> 00:09:15.519 And what's beautiful is it's this divine act of recreation. 00:09:17.120 --> 00:09:24.320 Jesus and God, the Godhead in all of eternity beginnings created all there was. 00:09:24.639 --> 00:09:30.000 And on the cross, it was this moment of recreation when he declared, Father, forgive them. 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:38.639 He was taking on the payment and the substitute standing for our sin, our shame, our brokenness. 00:09:38.799 --> 00:09:46.960 And I want to bring recreation, new creation, bring new life out of that which is dead and gone. 00:09:47.519 --> 00:09:50.240 In fact, Dr. 00:09:50.480 --> 00:09:59.919 Hannah goes on to write: it is the reason for the Christian conviction that only love has the power to forgive. 00:10:00.159 --> 00:10:04.080 It's been rightly said that forgiveness is the final form of love. 00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:09.440 Love incarnate nailed to a cross. 00:10:09.679 --> 00:10:13.440 It was not the nails, by the way, that kept him there, it was love. 00:10:14.639 --> 00:10:28.080 And John, who was the only disciple that actually came to the cross, who watched his rabbi and master die, pinned these words. 00:10:28.320 --> 00:10:32.240 This is how God showed his love among us. 00:10:32.559 --> 00:10:37.360 He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:45.919 This is love, not that we love God, but that he loved us and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 00:10:46.159 --> 00:10:51.519 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 00:10:51.759 --> 00:10:54.399 I just want to highlight that word atoning. 00:10:54.799 --> 00:11:00.240 You can also put in the word forgiving, substitute. 00:11:00.879 --> 00:11:02.559 It means to cover. 00:11:09.279 --> 00:11:12.559 And they would be preparing a Passover lamb. 00:11:12.720 --> 00:11:15.919 And the lamb, and it's a very odd picture for us today. 00:11:16.000 --> 00:11:17.039 We're not used to this. 00:11:17.759 --> 00:11:29.360 But it was a symbol pointing towards one day, an ultimate substitutionary lamb of God, would take our place where what was needed was death. 00:11:29.519 --> 00:11:36.639 What was required was death from us in the reality of the things that we've done have caused separation. 00:11:38.159 --> 00:11:44.960 And they would take this lamb as a symbol, and they would kill it, and they would sprinkle its blood, the lifeblood. 00:11:45.279 --> 00:11:52.159 Blood represents life, covering everything that's ever been done wrong. 00:11:53.840 --> 00:11:56.879 Forgiving, atoning. 00:11:57.840 --> 00:12:06.559 And Jesus stood as our substitute in that place, a divine act of recreation. 00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:12.240 We all love to be forgiven. 00:12:12.879 --> 00:12:14.240 It's an amazing thing. 00:12:15.519 --> 00:12:20.799 And if it is, you know, not just natural, supernatural, this divine act, why don't we do more of it? 00:12:22.159 --> 00:12:24.320 Why is it so very hard? 00:12:24.799 --> 00:12:34.559 And the second thing we learn from Jesus on the cross is not just that forgiveness is this divine act, his love pouring forth through us. 00:12:34.879 --> 00:12:36.720 It's costly, isn't it? 00:12:37.600 --> 00:12:40.000 It's deeply and profoundly costly. 00:12:40.960 --> 00:12:46.240 There is no accident that within the word forgive is the word what? 00:12:47.039 --> 00:12:47.679 Give. 00:12:48.159 --> 00:12:52.320 Because you have to give something in order to forgive. 00:12:52.559 --> 00:13:17.039 In fact, Bishop Desmond Tutu, who um was significant, worked with um Nelson Mandela in South Africa to end apartheid and bring about healing and reconciliation, wrote this: forgiveness is not cheap, is not facile, it is costly. 00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:20.399 Reconciliation is not an easy option. 00:13:20.480 --> 00:13:25.279 It costs God the death of his son. 00:13:26.960 --> 00:13:28.240 It's costly. 00:13:28.799 --> 00:13:31.120 It means we sacrifice something. 00:13:31.279 --> 00:13:48.000 And when we understand forgiveness rightly in the light of the cross and what God did for us, it was his sacrifice for us, him in substitution for us, him taking our punishment, him saying, I will take it for you. 00:13:48.159 --> 00:13:51.519 And it cost him something significant. 00:14:02.159 --> 00:14:03.440 He said, You're worth it. 00:14:06.399 --> 00:14:09.440 You know, the value of something is what you'll pay for it, right? 00:14:12.240 --> 00:14:13.200 Your value. 00:14:13.840 --> 00:14:16.399 God said, I give you it all. 00:14:21.840 --> 00:14:24.000 And then we come to our forgiveness. 00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:26.399 We come to our challenge, our cost. 00:14:36.960 --> 00:14:37.279 Dr. 00:14:37.440 --> 00:14:43.759 Everett Worthington, he's the foremost scholar and researcher when it comes to forgiveness. 00:14:43.840 --> 00:14:46.240 Uh, and there's some incredible resources. 00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:47.600 We won't be able to cover it all. 00:14:47.679 --> 00:15:00.480 I put it in the notes, but if you want to get really practical with this, because as I'm talking, I know for many, there's someone who's come to mind, whether living or not, that you need to forgive. 00:15:01.440 --> 00:15:05.440 And he's made it so tangible, practical. 00:15:05.600 --> 00:15:09.519 He's got a workbook completely free online for you to go through. 00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:13.200 But he talks about the path of unforgiveness. 00:15:13.440 --> 00:15:14.960 And we get stuck in this. 00:15:15.120 --> 00:15:17.519 And the path of unforgiveness begins here. 00:15:17.600 --> 00:15:20.559 It begins with the transgression, it begins with an offense. 00:15:20.879 --> 00:15:27.279 Someone has done something against us, and then it moves from the transgression to our perception of the transgression. 00:15:27.519 --> 00:15:29.360 Our perception of the offense. 00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:37.919 See, because we can perceive something and be offended by it, but they may not have actually offended us or transgressed against us. 00:15:38.480 --> 00:15:41.600 Okay, let me give you an example because you're looking at me a little confused. 00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:46.799 This doesn't fully pertain to forgiveness, but this happened yesterday. 00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:52.080 So I was out to lunch with my son, and somebody came up to me and was like, hey man, do you have a lighter? 00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:52.960 I'm like, no. 00:15:53.039 --> 00:15:54.240 And then I'm like, what does it look like? 00:15:54.399 --> 00:15:55.519 Do I look like a smoker? 00:15:55.600 --> 00:15:55.919 You know? 00:15:56.080 --> 00:15:58.799 I'm like, what vibe am I giving off? 00:15:58.960 --> 00:16:01.919 Uh and he's he's going around asking a bunch of people. 00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:03.200 I'm like, oh man. 00:16:03.440 --> 00:16:07.120 And then he comes back, he had found he lit birthday candles. 00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:16.480 Because our perception doesn't always uh lead to what's actually right or real. 00:16:17.039 --> 00:16:26.639 See, there's the transgression, something, then there's our perception of it, which then leads to emotion, a hot emotion, anger, hurt, fear. 00:16:26.799 --> 00:16:30.559 Now it's important to know that this is not unforgiveness. 00:16:30.720 --> 00:16:32.080 These emotions are important. 00:16:32.159 --> 00:16:35.919 They act as a warning sign that something needs to be dealt with. 00:16:37.200 --> 00:16:38.000 Emotion. 00:16:38.159 --> 00:16:40.399 And then it moves to rumination. 00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:44.960 Oh, we know about rumination, don't we? 00:16:45.440 --> 00:16:56.559 Where you stew on it, you indulge negative feelings, you rehearse it in a way that makes, well, it makes you the self-righteous victim and them the villain. 00:16:57.840 --> 00:17:00.399 And after rumination, it moves to unforgiveness. 00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:06.640 It's this blend, it's the cocktail of emotions of anger, resentment, bitterness, hostility. 00:17:06.799 --> 00:17:11.920 And what happens is unforgiveness actually resides in the body. 00:17:12.559 --> 00:17:18.000 It's not just an emotional thing, it's not just a mental thing, it's a physiological thing. 00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:26.480 There's been lots of research about this, that your unforgiveness, that resentment, that anger, it actually resides in your body. 00:17:26.640 --> 00:17:29.599 You stay in a state of fight or flight. 00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:39.519 Raises your high, your blood pressure, lowers your immune system, increased risk of heart disease and diabetes and all other sorts of things. 00:17:39.680 --> 00:17:45.920 Like, this is the cost of unforgiveness that we carry in our bodies. 00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:55.519 Well, the path of unforgiveness is actually more costly to us than it is to them. 00:17:55.680 --> 00:17:59.440 Well, what's the process then of forgiveness? 00:17:59.759 --> 00:18:03.839 And notice I said process because forgiveness is not an event. 00:18:04.799 --> 00:18:08.640 This is not a trite, you know, hey, just forgive and forget. 00:18:08.799 --> 00:18:13.039 Woo-hoo! We're done, we're over, we're besties. 00:18:16.079 --> 00:18:17.599 Yeah, anyways. 00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:23.839 There's two parts to forgiveness. 00:18:23.920 --> 00:18:26.559 There's decisional forgiveness, there's emotional forgiveness. 00:18:26.640 --> 00:18:30.160 I want to help us understand it with the tenses of the word forgive. 00:18:30.400 --> 00:18:33.680 I forgive, I'm forgiving, you're forgiven. 00:18:33.920 --> 00:18:36.160 Uh, I forgive, it's decisional forgiveness. 00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:36.640 Uh, Dr. 00:18:36.720 --> 00:18:42.799 Everett writes this decisional forgiveness is making a decision about how you want to treat the person in the future. 00:18:43.039 --> 00:18:52.160 A complete decision to forgive is when you decide not to pay back a hurt for a hurt, but you plan to treat the person as someone you appreciate or value. 00:18:52.319 --> 00:18:53.759 I made a decision. 00:18:53.920 --> 00:18:56.079 This is how I'm going to treat you. 00:18:56.319 --> 00:18:57.119 In fact, Dr. 00:18:57.200 --> 00:19:00.720 Everett, he uh has an acronym, it's called REACH. 00:19:00.880 --> 00:19:03.119 It'll take you through a two-hour process. 00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:04.079 It's powerful. 00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:05.680 I highly encourage you to do it. 00:19:05.759 --> 00:19:08.799 The acronym stands R stands for recall the hurt. 00:19:08.960 --> 00:19:10.400 Now we're good at recalling the hurt. 00:19:10.480 --> 00:19:12.319 This isn't recall the hurt the way you've been doing it. 00:19:12.400 --> 00:19:23.440 It's recall the hurt in a way like um with the facts as best you can that the other person would agree with the story that you're telling, almost as if you're um a journalist. 00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:26.160 The E stands for empathy. 00:19:27.680 --> 00:19:30.079 That you give empathy to the offender. 00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:34.160 You begin to look at it from their eyes and their vantage point. 00:19:35.440 --> 00:19:40.160 The A, uh the A stands for uh altruism. 00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:48.640 That you give the gift of altruism, of forgiveness to them, knowing that it is a free gift that you give to them. 00:19:49.839 --> 00:19:51.440 Uh the C is commit. 00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:52.480 You make a commitment. 00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:53.759 This is the decision point. 00:19:53.920 --> 00:19:54.880 You make this commitment. 00:19:54.960 --> 00:19:56.880 I've committed to forgive. 00:19:56.960 --> 00:19:59.359 And in fact, it's powerful just to write it down. 00:19:59.599 --> 00:20:09.680 Not that even you may not be able to have this relationship, or it might even be someone you might not even be able to communicate with because they're no longer around. 00:20:09.920 --> 00:20:12.079 Where you write it down, I forgive. 00:20:12.319 --> 00:20:15.279 And the H is to hold on to forgiveness. 00:20:15.359 --> 00:20:19.599 And that's the I forgive, I make a decision, I'm forgiving. 00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:28.640 It's this emotional, this emotional process that the deeper the wound, the longer the process it is for us to forgive. 00:20:28.799 --> 00:20:33.599 And so we move from decisional, I forgive, to emotional, I am forgiving. 00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:46.559 Emotional forgiveness is the emotional replacement of negative emotions, unforgiving emotions, resentment, hostility, anger, and fear by positive, other-oriented emotions, empathy, sympathy, compassion, and love. 00:20:47.279 --> 00:20:48.400 What's powerful, Dr. 00:20:48.559 --> 00:21:08.240 Everett's been a uh the leading researcher on this for decades, and um he had been researching this for um uh over a couple decades, and he was coming out with a new book on forgiveness, and right before it was published, um his mother was uh murdered by in a home invasion. 00:21:08.720 --> 00:21:17.759 And here the research, you know, the leading researcher on forgiveness, a Christian, is wrestling and battling. 00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:37.359 He writes so honestly and talks so frankly about the challenge of like, I wish I could kill him, and wrestling with those feelings, and then the power and the freedom found and forgiven. 00:21:37.759 --> 00:21:41.759 I forgive, decisional, I'm forgiving. 00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:49.440 You're in this process, and then you know you've forgiven, you're forgiven when you're able to wish them well. 00:21:50.079 --> 00:21:51.519 When you're able to wish them well. 00:21:51.759 --> 00:21:53.920 You have no ill will towards them. 00:21:57.359 --> 00:21:59.599 When your heart rate doesn't rise when you think about them. 00:22:00.799 --> 00:22:04.799 When you you can see them and you don't want to just go the other direction. 00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:14.559 They may not be safe to be around, but you just you don't have to feel this sense of like, ah, I just wish them not well. 00:22:15.759 --> 00:22:20.799 Lewis Meads, uh, he wrote a few books on forgiveness, uh great scholar. 00:22:20.960 --> 00:22:25.519 He says, it takes one person to forgive, it takes two people to reunite it. 00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:34.559 Forgiveness is not forgetting, forgiveness is not reconciliation, forgiveness is not removing the consequences. 00:22:36.079 --> 00:22:41.440 Forgiveness is going about the process of moving from my ill will towards you. 00:22:41.920 --> 00:22:44.960 Think about that when Jesus said, Father, forgive them. 00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:46.960 They know not what they do. 00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:53.279 The ones that nailed me to the cross, I have good will towards them. 00:22:53.920 --> 00:22:54.960 I wish them well. 00:22:55.119 --> 00:22:58.559 In fact, that's the reason here. 00:23:00.319 --> 00:23:02.400 Forgiveness, it's a divine act. 00:23:04.720 --> 00:23:05.759 Forgiveness. 00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:11.200 It's costly. 00:23:11.839 --> 00:23:14.160 And forgiveness, it's for everyone. 00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:16.799 It's not just for some people. 00:23:17.759 --> 00:23:20.880 Isn't it easy to forgive certain people and not other people? 00:23:21.839 --> 00:23:23.839 You're like, oh well, you know. 00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:38.000 Because the minute we started to talk about forgiveness, for some, maybe most, or I don't think all yet, and I say yet, that there's someone in your life, they've done something inexcusable. 00:23:40.559 --> 00:23:43.519 They don't deserve forgiveness, and you're right. 00:23:46.400 --> 00:23:48.079 Forgiveness is for everyone. 00:23:48.240 --> 00:23:48.960 Think about this. 00:23:49.039 --> 00:23:52.720 There is no one beyond the forgiveness of God, including you. 00:23:56.559 --> 00:24:00.559 How often do we feel like we're so beyond the forgiveness of God? 00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:02.799 How many times have I walked away? 00:24:02.960 --> 00:24:07.119 How many times have I gone down that same path or I said this? 00:24:07.279 --> 00:24:08.319 How many times? 00:24:08.640 --> 00:24:10.960 You what did I do last night? 00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:12.640 God could never forgive me. 00:24:12.720 --> 00:24:14.880 And he says, No, precisely. 00:24:16.799 --> 00:24:18.319 I forgive you. 00:24:22.559 --> 00:24:24.480 Father, forgive them. 00:24:25.039 --> 00:24:26.480 Well, who's the them? 00:24:26.799 --> 00:24:28.319 Let's think about that. 00:24:29.359 --> 00:24:36.079 The disciples who abandoned him, Peter, who denied them? 00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:37.920 Father, forgive them. 00:24:38.240 --> 00:24:41.200 Judas, who betrayed him? 00:24:41.920 --> 00:24:44.640 Father, forgive them. 00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:53.440 The religious leaders who were threatened, tried to keep their power. 00:24:58.240 --> 00:25:00.240 Father, forgive them. 00:25:00.559 --> 00:25:08.240 Pilate, who condemned him, the soldiers who executed him, Father, forgive them. 00:25:08.880 --> 00:25:13.920 Now there's something incredibly powerful for us to recognize and understand. 00:25:14.240 --> 00:25:22.400 For us to be able to forgive others well, we first must understand the depth that we have been forgiven. 00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:26.799 That's why the Apostle Paul would say it this way: be kind and compassionate to one another. 00:25:27.039 --> 00:25:28.960 Forgiving one another, how? 00:25:30.160 --> 00:25:30.559 How? 00:25:30.720 --> 00:25:32.000 It's behind me. 00:25:37.359 --> 00:25:44.319 Forgiving each other just as God forgave you. 00:25:44.640 --> 00:25:50.640 I think some of us we struggle with forgiveness because we don't think we've really been forgiven that much. 00:25:54.720 --> 00:26:07.279 Until we understand the weight and the gravity of our own sin, we will never fully appreciate the greatness of the sacrifice of Jesus and the grace and the forgiveness He has extended to us. 00:26:07.680 --> 00:26:12.640 That it was my sin, it was my lust, it was my anger, it was my selfishness. 00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:14.319 I'm just talking about my sins right now. 00:26:14.400 --> 00:26:16.000 You can get to your sins in a little bit. 00:26:16.319 --> 00:26:17.200 It was me. 00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:22.319 Is that it took him to the cross? 00:26:25.359 --> 00:26:26.799 I wasn't there. 00:26:28.880 --> 00:26:30.400 I don't know where my hammer went. 00:26:30.480 --> 00:26:31.119 There again. 00:26:32.799 --> 00:26:34.079 I wasn't there. 00:26:38.480 --> 00:26:39.839 But it was my sin. 00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:47.200 One of the reasons he was there. 00:27:00.559 --> 00:27:01.200 My sin. 00:27:06.559 --> 00:27:12.720 And the beautiful reality is it wasn't the nail, we said it earlier, it wasn't the nail that kept them there, it was love. 00:27:13.759 --> 00:27:16.000 It was love that kept them on the cross. 00:27:16.160 --> 00:27:17.680 It was his love for you. 00:27:17.920 --> 00:27:29.119 Love is in its final form, it is the forgiving God pouring forth and gushing over you, saying, You are forgiven, you are atoned, you are cleaned. 00:27:29.440 --> 00:27:30.559 Come home. 00:27:34.400 --> 00:27:39.440 You know it's been said that uh hurting people hurt people. 00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:42.559 That's true. 00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:47.440 Forgiven people forgive people. 00:27:50.880 --> 00:27:57.440 And we know the depth and the breadth of just how much we've been forgiven. 00:27:58.880 --> 00:27:59.759 We forgive. 00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:01.200 In fact, C.S. 00:28:01.279 --> 00:28:03.519 Lewis, he said it this way. 00:28:04.319 --> 00:28:15.039 To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in me. 00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:22.319 The wounded hand extends his hand of forgiveness to those who nailed his hands to the very cross. 00:28:27.119 --> 00:28:34.799 This summer I went away to this um leadership week-long thing. 00:28:34.960 --> 00:28:37.200 And it was called Ultimate Leadership, it was with Dr. 00:28:37.279 --> 00:28:38.480 Henry Cloud and Dr. 00:28:38.640 --> 00:28:42.240 John Townsend, and really powerful. 00:28:42.400 --> 00:28:46.799 The mornings were these teaching sessions, and then the afternoons were these process groups. 00:28:46.880 --> 00:28:59.519 You would be in a group with, you know, six or eight people, and they had a therapist there, and you would sit and process, and part of it is realizing if we're gonna lead others well, we have to lead ourselves well. 00:28:59.599 --> 00:29:02.400 And we have to deal with the things inside of us. 00:29:02.880 --> 00:29:08.799 And honestly, I would never say that I would never thought that I was like not a very forgiving person. 00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:11.039 I didn't think I was great at it, let's be honest. 00:29:11.119 --> 00:29:14.319 But I don't have a I don't have a lot to forgive. 00:29:14.400 --> 00:29:23.920 And then we sat in the circle with our therapist, the six or I think there's six other people, and and she said, I have a little exercise. 00:29:24.079 --> 00:29:25.279 Would you be willing to do it? 00:29:25.359 --> 00:29:29.680 Is after something I'd shared, just struggling with for forgiving a person. 00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:30.960 I said, sure. 00:29:31.039 --> 00:29:35.680 And so I stood up in the middle of the circle, and if you guys wouldn't mind helping me out. 00:29:36.720 --> 00:29:41.839 And she said, Okay, well, why don't you identify some people that you need to forgive? 00:29:42.079 --> 00:29:45.680 It was crazy how quick the names just came, you know? 00:29:46.240 --> 00:29:51.359 And if you've been, you know, married for any time along, you know, I'll make you my spouse, all right? 00:29:51.519 --> 00:29:54.799 Uh, you know, you gotta marry. 00:29:54.960 --> 00:29:56.960 Oh, I could have made you, oh, that's what I mean. 00:29:59.039 --> 00:30:03.039 We all carry father wounds or mother wounds, and so I had some of that. 00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:08.000 I had a sibling wound, I had a friend wound, and all these different things. 00:30:08.160 --> 00:30:09.680 It just came up. 00:30:10.240 --> 00:30:16.720 And I'm standing in the middle of this room, and I was telling Robbie after his first service, I'm like, I wasn't even like over dramatic on this. 00:30:16.880 --> 00:30:25.039 Um, like it felt so hot and like sweating and tense, and you just began to feel the weight of their hands. 00:30:25.119 --> 00:30:26.880 Like it's just this is weighty. 00:30:26.960 --> 00:30:28.559 It was just bearing down. 00:30:28.640 --> 00:30:33.119 And she said, I want you to take, you know, the easiest one first. 00:30:34.400 --> 00:30:37.839 And say, you know, this is my wife, by the way. 00:30:38.079 --> 00:30:51.519 Um and so I'd talk to that person as if they were that person, and then they would talk back their perspective and their heart, and then I'd say, I forgive you. 00:30:51.759 --> 00:30:54.000 And then she would take the hand away. 00:30:54.319 --> 00:30:56.319 And it's just this really powerful moment. 00:30:56.400 --> 00:31:03.359 I mean, I'm just bawling, and and then go around, I I forgive you. 00:31:03.680 --> 00:31:09.359 And really intimate when you look into somebody's eyes and you like just say, I forgive you. 00:31:11.279 --> 00:31:16.880 And had this like moment of talking back and forth and hearing, I forgive you. 00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:19.599 I forgive you. 00:31:20.720 --> 00:31:23.200 But there was one person I couldn't forgive. 00:31:25.200 --> 00:31:28.400 Better yet, one person I didn't want to forgive. 00:31:31.920 --> 00:31:39.920 And our therapist, she's like, Well, Ryan, that person is gonna be here. 00:31:41.440 --> 00:31:50.240 And so wherever you're going, they're going with you until you learn to forgive them. 00:31:50.400 --> 00:31:51.200 Thank you. 00:31:53.839 --> 00:32:04.559 And I just wonder how many of us are weighed down with unforgiveness and we walk around as if it's a normal common thing because it's just all we know. 00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:11.440 And Jesus' forgiveness broke the cycle over you. 00:32:11.680 --> 00:32:15.200 You are forgiven, and now be a forgiver. 00:32:17.519 --> 00:32:19.599 Who do you need to forgive? 00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:28.480 Who do you have that is on you that is bearing down? 00:32:31.039 --> 00:32:33.839 Honestly, just start with the easiest one first. 00:32:36.480 --> 00:32:37.440 I forgive you. 00:32:40.480 --> 00:32:43.440 Be kind, compassionate. 00:32:44.720 --> 00:32:47.279 Forgiving one another. 00:32:48.319 --> 00:32:53.759 Just as God in Christ has forgiven you. 00:32:54.319 --> 00:32:55.680 Let's worship. 00:32:56.640 --> 00:32:58.880 We hope you are blessed by this message. 00:32:59.119 --> 00:33:03.519 Please subscribe to our podcast for access to every episode as they're uploaded. 00:33:03.680 --> 00:33:05.759 And hey, we'd love to connect with you. 00:33:05.920 --> 00:33:11.839 Take a next step by filling out our virtual connection card at awakeningchurch.com slash card.