WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.319 Welcome to the Awakening Church podcast. 00:00:02.479 --> 00:00:07.040 We pray this message encourages you and provides the hope and light of Jesus Christ. 00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:08.640 Thanks for tuning in. 00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:22.000 That was just ridiculous. 00:00:22.239 --> 00:00:23.519 Oh my gosh. 00:00:24.160 --> 00:00:26.559 Yeah, about 38% of that's true. 00:00:26.719 --> 00:00:28.000 So let's just start there. 00:00:28.160 --> 00:00:30.079 I did just get back from Omaha. 00:00:30.160 --> 00:00:32.159 What a glamorous place to be. 00:00:32.479 --> 00:00:34.960 This is my spiritual gift of sarcasm. 00:00:35.840 --> 00:00:38.399 Landed at the airport and they said, just get an Uber. 00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:41.039 I'm thinking, great, 22 minutes. 00:00:41.359 --> 00:00:43.439 It wasn't a fluke, it's Omaha. 00:00:43.520 --> 00:00:45.520 This is their schedule for Ubers. 00:00:45.920 --> 00:00:57.200 I was also watching the news in my hotel room before I went out, and they do apparently in the Midwest every evening a pollen count, which is a riveting report on square inches. 00:00:57.359 --> 00:01:06.799 But what was fascinating is they talked about this particular winter going into spring, how the pollen count is high, and then they actually had a doctor on. 00:01:07.200 --> 00:01:12.959 And she said that if the pollen count is high enough, everybody gets allergic. 00:01:13.120 --> 00:01:13.920 Everybody. 00:01:14.159 --> 00:01:17.680 And I'm like, oh my gosh, that's just like anxiety. 00:01:17.920 --> 00:01:24.079 You can't see it, you can't smell it, you don't know it's there, but you've got it. 00:01:24.319 --> 00:01:40.000 And I would say one of the most promising things in this series was Ryan's sermon last week to have a senior pastor that's not just willing to get up and preach on anxiety as though you have it and he doesn't, but to show up and say, Me too. 00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:49.760 So many years ago, one of the things you did leave out about in my biography, Ryan, is I used to be a nurse and I used to work in the emergency room. 00:01:50.239 --> 00:02:00.879 And I remember one night one of the LVNs who had worked up on the medical surgical floor with me when I had been up there came into the emergency room. 00:02:01.040 --> 00:02:03.359 She was a couple years younger than I was. 00:02:04.239 --> 00:02:06.719 She was having a baby. 00:02:08.159 --> 00:02:11.759 Problem was, she didn't know she was pregnant. 00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:13.439 Now I know what you're thinking. 00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:15.919 Of course she knew she was pregnant. 00:02:16.159 --> 00:02:17.599 And that's what I thought. 00:02:17.840 --> 00:02:24.080 So we're helping her deliver this baby while we're trying to calm her down, helping her realize that she's having a baby. 00:02:24.319 --> 00:02:30.479 And then after the baby's born, I came and sat with her, and this is what she said to me. 00:02:31.280 --> 00:02:38.960 Do you think if I knew I was having a baby, but I didn't know I was having a baby, that I would have come to the emergency room where I work? 00:02:40.080 --> 00:02:43.520 All of a sudden I realized she didn't know she was having a baby. 00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:44.960 Of course she wouldn't do that. 00:02:45.199 --> 00:02:52.879 She had to get on the phone and call her boyfriend and not say, Oh, I'm pregnant, not sure what we're gonna do, but you're a father. 00:02:53.840 --> 00:03:00.240 See, here's the tricky thing about anxiety is it's here, there, and it's everywhere. 00:03:00.400 --> 00:03:04.960 And it's most dangerous when you don't think you have it. 00:03:06.719 --> 00:03:15.919 And I know if you're like me, I've gone through periods in my life where I've listened to series like this and thought, oh, this is so helpful for other people. 00:03:17.919 --> 00:03:34.960 And what's true is everybody struggles with it, and the more unaware you are of it, the more subconscious it is in you versus somebody who just does all the typical anxiety things, the more dangerous it is. 00:03:35.199 --> 00:03:35.759 Why? 00:03:36.240 --> 00:03:49.599 Because anxiety is such a powerful force, and it's such a universal force, and you have this enormous force going on inside you and you don't know it's there, it's a problem. 00:03:50.800 --> 00:03:55.520 About 70 times in the Bible, it says, do not be afraid. 00:03:55.759 --> 00:04:00.639 Now you will have heard that it is said 365 times. 00:04:00.960 --> 00:04:08.479 This is Christian weird talk, and we need to stop it because they will say it's one for every day of the year. 00:04:08.639 --> 00:04:11.360 It is not 365 times in the Bible. 00:04:11.439 --> 00:04:13.360 It is about 70 times. 00:04:13.599 --> 00:04:32.160 But 70 is a lot, and it is probably the most off-repeated, you could call it a command, you could call it an invitation, you could call it an awareness to say if the Bible says it 70 times that it's worth paying attention to. 00:04:32.800 --> 00:04:44.879 Years ago, when uh John and I worked at a church in the Midwest, we had a training session, and a woman came in and put a flip chart up on the wall, and we started just talking about sin that we're aware of in our lives. 00:04:44.959 --> 00:04:56.639 And so she started having us call out stuff, and obviously in a room like that, you don't go to the darkest, deepest places, but we just started calling out stuff that we struggle with, and she's writing on the flip chart, filling it in, we're all resonating. 00:04:56.720 --> 00:04:58.079 Yes, I've struggled with that. 00:04:58.399 --> 00:05:00.639 Oh, I know somebody in the room that struggles with that. 00:05:00.800 --> 00:05:06.319 And about two-thirds of the way down on the flip chart, she drew a horizontal line like a math problem. 00:05:06.959 --> 00:05:10.800 And then in capital letters under it, she wrote two words. 00:05:11.120 --> 00:05:13.920 She wrote fear and pride. 00:05:14.399 --> 00:05:15.920 It's like, oh wow. 00:05:16.160 --> 00:05:16.800 Yeah. 00:05:17.120 --> 00:05:31.759 Every one of those sins, you could tie a thread to one of those two words, and she was helping us understand that with these issues in our lives, the the work is not behavioral modification, the work is to go down deep and try to find out what it's attached to and do the internal work. 00:05:32.240 --> 00:05:36.959 And then this was 35 years ago. 00:05:37.920 --> 00:05:38.959 I've never forgotten it. 00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:43.439 She went over to the word pride and crossed it out and wrote fear underneath it. 00:05:44.399 --> 00:05:51.759 Almost everything that's troubling in our lives has the root of fear at some level. 00:05:52.079 --> 00:05:54.800 Has the root of anxiety. 00:05:55.360 --> 00:05:57.680 Here's what I want you to do for the next few minutes. 00:05:57.839 --> 00:06:00.879 I want you to think about something that you feel anxious about. 00:06:01.199 --> 00:06:04.399 Oh my gosh, yes, that video, I kept waiting for the guy to go splat. 00:06:04.639 --> 00:06:06.560 It felt like an Alfred Hitchcock movie. 00:06:06.800 --> 00:06:08.639 Some of you are too young to know what that means. 00:06:08.800 --> 00:06:10.079 You can Google it later. 00:06:10.160 --> 00:06:18.079 Um, if you just woke up yesterday and heard about the bombing in Israel, there's lots of things to be anxious about. 00:06:18.319 --> 00:06:23.279 It could be something personal in your life, it could be for somebody else, it could be something involved at work. 00:06:23.360 --> 00:06:37.199 But I just want you to let something float in your mind and your heart for the next few minutes so that while I'm talking, you're thinking about what is being said in light of one of the things that you might struggle with. 00:06:37.439 --> 00:06:50.240 So for a few minutes, I just want to go through scripture because people who are obviously anxious get labeled that way, and the rest of us get off the hook by thinking, well, that's something I don't struggle with that much. 00:06:50.480 --> 00:06:54.160 But you see, anxiety takes so many different forms. 00:06:54.319 --> 00:07:12.319 And I'm just gonna go pretty quickly through four characters in the Bible who were anxious and what their one word is, how it came out in their body and in their lives to help us all consider that it doesn't just look like talking about our problems too much or wringing our hands or pacing. 00:07:12.879 --> 00:07:14.879 There's lots of different ways. 00:07:15.199 --> 00:07:23.120 The interesting thing is it starts very, very early on in Scripture, in the third chapter of Genesis. 00:07:23.600 --> 00:07:39.040 Here, God has created this amazing world, and then before he brings people into the picture and asks them to co-partner with him in the redemption of the world, he designs a garden for us. 00:07:39.439 --> 00:07:44.160 He brings Adam and Eve in and he says, You have everything you need. 00:07:45.120 --> 00:07:47.839 Everything you need. 00:07:48.560 --> 00:07:53.839 One of the books that Ryan quoted out of last week is called Managing Leadership Anxiety by Steve Cuss. 00:07:54.079 --> 00:08:00.480 And Steve says in his book that at the heart of anxiety is the belief that you're not getting something that you need. 00:08:03.199 --> 00:08:06.000 Adam and Eve, you have everything. 00:08:07.519 --> 00:08:10.879 Except this one thing I don't have. 00:08:11.600 --> 00:08:15.360 And they figured out a way to go after it. 00:08:16.560 --> 00:08:23.680 And they had great hopes going after that that maybe, I don't know, it would be everything they needed, and it didn't go very well. 00:08:24.079 --> 00:08:30.319 And they began to realize all of a sudden that they had made a big mistake and they had violated the one thing God asked them not to do. 00:08:30.560 --> 00:08:32.000 You remember the story. 00:08:32.159 --> 00:08:36.879 It says they lived naked in the garden and all of a sudden they were aware that they were naked. 00:08:36.960 --> 00:08:39.600 And what did they do in response? 00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:44.639 Adam and Eve, Genesis chapter 3, verse 8. 00:08:44.879 --> 00:08:51.360 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day. 00:08:51.840 --> 00:08:53.200 Just stop right there. 00:08:54.399 --> 00:09:02.799 This is free, this is not about anxiety, but I love the fact that God created this garden and he didn't hang out with them all day long. 00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:05.919 He came later in the day. 00:09:06.159 --> 00:09:13.039 Again, it's just great to let scripture really inform how we view God. 00:09:14.720 --> 00:09:20.960 And then it says they hid from the Lord among the trees of the garden. 00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:28.799 They hid among the very things that God created to be a place of beauty for them, but in their anxiety, they hid. 00:09:30.080 --> 00:09:31.759 Fight or flight response. 00:09:32.000 --> 00:09:34.639 They were in the flight category. 00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:36.159 They hid. 00:09:36.399 --> 00:09:48.720 And sometimes our anxiety takes the form of shutting us down, walking away from a conversation that needs to be had, figuring a way to blame the other person because we have to hide what we've done. 00:09:49.039 --> 00:10:01.600 Saying, well, I remember in our in our marriage early on, um, about two years before I got a handle on this, I would say to something to John about something that was hard for me, and he'd say, Well, I'm a lot of things, but I'm not that. 00:10:01.840 --> 00:10:07.039 Well, it sounds like he's admitting he knows he's got issues, but I'm you're right, I'm probably wrong. 00:10:07.200 --> 00:10:12.799 After about the 15th or 16th conversation over two years, I'm like, so what are you struggling with? 00:10:12.960 --> 00:10:15.600 What do you, what are your issues? 00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:22.799 And both of us found ways to hide early on in our marriage to protect the other person from seeing the real us. 00:10:24.240 --> 00:10:29.120 We hide, we walk away, we do the flight response. 00:10:30.320 --> 00:10:33.759 There's another character not long after that named Jacob. 00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:41.360 Jacob had a brother named Esau and says from the very beginning when he was born that Jacob was a little bit of a schemer. 00:10:41.840 --> 00:10:55.360 And as Jacob grew older and he realized his father was getting ready to die, and that meant all of the inheritance, which is something Jacob thought he needed, was going to go to his older brother Esau because that was the custom. 00:10:55.519 --> 00:11:10.080 And so in cahoots with his mother, he comes up with a way to fool his father, who's on his deathbed and losing his vision, that he actually is the older brother, and he gets the blessing, and he gets the inheritance. 00:11:11.759 --> 00:11:20.559 And at the end of that time, Isaac said to the older brother Esau, Your brother came deceitfully and took your blessing. 00:11:21.679 --> 00:11:30.480 Jacob, in his anxiety, believing that he needed the inheritance that wasn't due to him, went into control mode. 00:11:30.879 --> 00:11:35.919 Anybody here control your drug of choice when you get anxious? 00:11:36.399 --> 00:11:45.679 When I worked with Pat Lancioni doing business consulting, uh, we would do two-day offsites with teams, and then we would come back once a month, and we would work with the executives and the teams. 00:11:45.840 --> 00:11:49.120 And I did a fair amount of coaching of CEOs. 00:11:49.200 --> 00:11:58.480 And one of the recurring themes among many of the male CEOs was their uncomfortability when one of their women executives cries. 00:11:58.879 --> 00:12:02.000 And I would always say, You're afraid of water? 00:12:02.240 --> 00:12:05.200 Like, come on, you're a big guy. 00:12:05.360 --> 00:12:06.960 You can't possibly be afraid of that. 00:12:07.120 --> 00:12:10.320 And so we would just start to unpack the meaning behind it. 00:12:10.559 --> 00:12:16.879 And I said, I've seen you in meetings get a little angry and raise your voice and get a little stern. 00:12:17.200 --> 00:12:19.519 That's her version of what you're doing. 00:12:19.679 --> 00:12:23.279 Hers just comes out in tears, yours comes out in control. 00:12:24.399 --> 00:12:33.279 When we want to control things, it's a sure sign that somewhere we're feeling some form of anxiety. 00:12:34.240 --> 00:12:41.519 And it doesn't take us very long as we get older to realize that very few things are really in our control. 00:12:43.039 --> 00:12:46.960 The good news is all of this becomes, when we can name it, I'm hiding. 00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:49.759 Oh, I must I must feel anxious about something. 00:12:49.919 --> 00:12:51.759 I'm trying to control the situation. 00:12:51.919 --> 00:12:53.279 What am I anxious about? 00:12:53.440 --> 00:12:57.279 This all becomes a place for us to deeply meet God. 00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:00.399 To say, I need your help. 00:13:00.639 --> 00:13:03.200 I need to understand this better. 00:13:03.519 --> 00:13:18.000 Moses, who is one of my favorite characters in the Old Testament, had spent many years out in the wilderness working with animals because he had killed an Egyptian when the Israelites were enslaved in Egypt. 00:13:18.240 --> 00:13:27.200 And then all of a sudden, after a very long time, about 40 years, God comes to him in a bush that was burning. 00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:38.399 And Moses went over to see what was happening, this bush that burned but didn't get consumed, and he had an experience with God, and God basically told him, Hey, I've chosen you, Moses. 00:13:38.879 --> 00:13:41.600 I mean, again, this is a little free piece. 00:13:41.840 --> 00:13:47.440 God picks the most unlikely reluctant people in the Bible to lead. 00:13:47.679 --> 00:13:48.799 That's for another day. 00:13:49.039 --> 00:13:50.480 It's fascinating. 00:13:50.960 --> 00:14:00.320 And then over and over again, God tells Moses, I'm ready to bring the Israelites out of slavery after 400 years. 00:14:00.559 --> 00:14:02.399 You're the one I've chosen to do it. 00:14:02.559 --> 00:14:07.360 And in a series of three different moves, Moses just keeps making excuses. 00:14:07.440 --> 00:14:10.639 He's an incredibly reluctant leader. 00:14:10.879 --> 00:14:19.519 And then finally, he says in Exodus chapter 4, 13, oh God, just send somebody else. 00:14:20.720 --> 00:14:22.879 Just get it away from me. 00:14:23.120 --> 00:14:24.159 He avoided it. 00:14:24.399 --> 00:14:25.679 He was nervous. 00:14:26.720 --> 00:14:33.440 He had anxiety about being chosen, and he just wanted to avoid another form of flight. 00:14:34.159 --> 00:14:37.600 I don't know about you, but I avoid things that I'm not good at. 00:14:37.840 --> 00:14:40.399 I avoid things that I don't want to do. 00:14:40.960 --> 00:14:50.080 And I don't recognize that I'm avoiding it often until they just start to pile up, and then I get even more anxious. 00:14:50.399 --> 00:14:59.039 But when you start avoiding something, start to pay attention, whether it's a person or a task or a situation, might I be anxious here? 00:14:59.120 --> 00:15:08.720 Because the more we have words for it, the more we can slow down and make our discipleship include my anxiety, God. 00:15:08.960 --> 00:15:11.600 I need to meet you in my anxiety. 00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:13.759 And then Saul, who was the king. 00:15:14.000 --> 00:15:32.159 As Saul became more and more aware that as he was the king, that his son Jonathan's best friend David, who was just a shepherd, was gaining in popularity among the people and was doing things beautifully for God. 00:15:32.639 --> 00:15:40.320 And in fact, it says that people in Israel were singing, Saul has slain his thousands, but David his ten thousands. 00:15:40.399 --> 00:15:52.480 And Saul was getting annoyed and angry and anxious because he thought his kingdom might get taken from him, because Saul believed that he needed to be king to be important. 00:15:54.240 --> 00:16:06.000 And so Saul sent the men, it says in 1 Samuel 19, sent the men back to see David and told them, Bring him back so that I may kill him. 00:16:06.480 --> 00:16:17.679 And Saul's form of anxiety, when he felt it, he moved to attack the situation that he felt anxious about and the person that he felt anxious about. 00:16:17.840 --> 00:16:19.039 What's your word? 00:16:19.679 --> 00:16:30.080 There's way more we could go through, but there will be a word somewhere where you begin to understand that this is how I most often respond when I'm feeling anxious. 00:16:30.320 --> 00:16:43.519 We can do all of them, but it's really important not only to sit with the issue that I asked you a few minutes ago to hold in your head, but then to understand what's the word that is the trigger to me that says, I'm feeling anxious right now. 00:16:43.679 --> 00:16:50.879 And if the Bible tells me 70 times that I need not to be afraid, what am I afraid of? 00:16:52.080 --> 00:16:57.120 You see, circumstances are a terrible driver for our lives. 00:16:58.000 --> 00:17:08.480 And yet, if you're like me, if I'm really honest, it's almost always circumstances that are driving how I'm feeling and thinking and experiencing life. 00:17:09.759 --> 00:17:14.799 Here's some things that Jesus told us in John chapter 21. 00:17:15.279 --> 00:17:21.039 Jesus said, somebody's gonna lead you to where you do not want to go. 00:17:21.519 --> 00:17:22.720 Said that to Peter. 00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:29.599 Right after he told Peter that he was giving the keys of the kingdom to lead when Jesus left. 00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:32.160 Someone's gonna lead you to where you do not want to go. 00:17:32.240 --> 00:17:36.400 I don't know about you, but I would be very anxious if somebody said that to me. 00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:44.880 A couple of years ago, my husband left a voicemail on my phone when people were still actually listening to voicemails, and he said, Hey, I've got an idea, you won't like it, I'll talk to you when I get home. 00:17:44.960 --> 00:17:47.920 I'm like, Why do you why do you do this? 00:17:48.559 --> 00:17:51.599 Why do you feel the need to start my anxiety early? 00:17:51.920 --> 00:17:54.960 When you could just wait till I get home and spike it. 00:17:55.680 --> 00:18:02.720 Jesus said, Somebody's gonna lead you to where you do not want to go, to the disciple that Jesus asked three times, Do you love me? 00:18:02.799 --> 00:18:05.759 These are the people he loves, he talks to like this. 00:18:06.400 --> 00:18:13.519 Jesus said this to his disciples and to us in this world, you will have tribulation. 00:18:13.680 --> 00:18:15.359 Take it to the bank. 00:18:15.599 --> 00:18:22.720 Stop counting on your circumstances to lower your anxiety and to believe that I'm good. 00:18:23.759 --> 00:18:27.119 And Jesus said, Here's what you have to do if you're gonna follow me. 00:18:27.920 --> 00:18:31.599 You have to deny yourself and pick up your cross. 00:18:32.880 --> 00:18:40.880 So Jesus is telling us you are going to experience lots of anxiety for your whole life. 00:18:41.279 --> 00:18:47.119 And so, for the next few minutes that we have left, I just want to talk about what do we do with this? 00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:50.000 When you're feeling anxious. 00:18:50.319 --> 00:18:57.440 Dallas Willard used to say that God has yet to meet anybody except in reality. 00:18:58.079 --> 00:19:09.200 And if we, he said, faithlessly disregard situation after situation as not being right, we will simply never find a place to meet with him in his life in our lives. 00:19:09.519 --> 00:19:22.079 Our job, for the most part, is not just to try to pray the anxiety away, it's to name it and sit with it and live with it and invite God into it. 00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:24.720 Now, I'd rather just pray it away. 00:19:24.960 --> 00:19:28.240 And if that doesn't work, I'd rather pray it away and pretend that it did. 00:19:28.799 --> 00:19:30.079 Oh, yeah, I'm feeling great. 00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:33.359 That prayer time was just, I'm not anxious anymore. 00:19:33.759 --> 00:19:35.279 I don't believe you. 00:19:35.599 --> 00:19:42.160 And I think you're missing an incredible opportunity to go deeper with Jesus. 00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:45.359 Uh Less and Leslie Parrott, that really is their name. 00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:46.160 They're a married couple. 00:19:46.240 --> 00:19:50.960 There are Christian psychologists up in the northwest section of the country. 00:19:51.119 --> 00:19:53.920 But they say that conflict is the only way to intimacy. 00:19:54.559 --> 00:19:56.160 I'm having trouble with the connection. 00:19:56.400 --> 00:19:57.359 Me too. 00:19:57.920 --> 00:19:58.640 Me too. 00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:04.880 Mostly because the first time I heard that, I thought, that sounds like really bad news. 00:20:05.440 --> 00:20:07.759 Conflict is the only way to intimacy? 00:20:08.319 --> 00:20:10.720 That's not, I don't want to hear that. 00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:13.599 That is such a profound statement. 00:20:13.680 --> 00:20:20.720 And I think it's one of the reasons why when you read the Gospels, that Jesus is so often saying difficult, hard things to people. 00:20:21.680 --> 00:20:33.039 Because he knows that that's the way to get us down to the parts in our soul that we hide and run away from and avoid or try to control that need to be surrendered. 00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:37.039 We just sang a few minutes ago about surrender. 00:20:37.200 --> 00:20:39.759 It's such an easy word to sing, isn't it? 00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:41.440 I call it the S word. 00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:43.759 It's a really tough word. 00:20:44.480 --> 00:20:52.160 If conflict is the only way to intimacy, then the very thing that we want with each other and the very thing we need with God, we avoid. 00:20:52.480 --> 00:20:54.319 We pretend it doesn't exist. 00:20:54.480 --> 00:21:08.400 And so I think it's really important to pay attention to the ways in which God is calling us to master our anxiety and not let it rule us. 00:21:08.640 --> 00:21:12.640 The first thing I would say is you have to pay attention to it and own it. 00:21:12.720 --> 00:21:15.119 You have to grow in your self-awareness. 00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:18.559 So often when people will say, Well, what do you feel anxious about? 00:21:18.640 --> 00:21:22.480 So often, especially Christians, will say, you know, not really not much. 00:21:22.880 --> 00:21:26.480 Or just the opposite, everything in my life. 00:21:26.880 --> 00:21:33.359 But to actually be self-aware enough to name it and to own it, not be ashamed of it. 00:21:33.519 --> 00:21:35.839 It's very human. 00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:43.039 But to give it a name, I have a good friend who actually calls her anxiety Gladys, and I can remember that because that was my grandmother's name. 00:21:43.119 --> 00:21:45.279 I was like, I don't know how I feel about this. 00:21:45.440 --> 00:21:47.440 But she said, I just need a name for it. 00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:52.400 And so I talk about Gladys a lot, and I talk with Gladys a lot. 00:21:52.480 --> 00:21:54.799 And I talk to Jesus about Gladys. 00:21:54.960 --> 00:21:57.359 And giving it a name just helps. 00:21:57.680 --> 00:21:59.599 You can name it or not, but you have to. 00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:01.119 A name for it. 00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:04.799 You have to own it and know that it's true. 00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:11.839 When you own it too, being able to understand when is distraction from it healthy. 00:22:12.079 --> 00:22:16.480 I just sometimes you just need a break from your anxiety when it gets that high. 00:22:16.880 --> 00:22:25.440 And we all have times when the anxiety that we experience is pretty low level, other times where it's moderate, sometimes when it's really, really high. 00:22:25.680 --> 00:22:27.759 And sometimes distraction is a gift. 00:22:27.839 --> 00:22:28.319 We need it. 00:22:28.400 --> 00:22:38.960 We need to put a healthy compartmentalizing boundary around that anxiety and live our lives for a while, but we have to go back and live there with it. 00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:47.119 I've had times in my life where my anxiety has been so high, and I don't think of myself as a naturally anxious person. 00:22:47.279 --> 00:22:48.240 It was off the charts. 00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:54.720 I remember at work walking down the stairs and leaning against the wall where nobody could see me. 00:22:54.960 --> 00:23:00.160 And the only prayer I had was I said Jesus probably 75 times. 00:23:01.200 --> 00:23:04.319 I just leaned against that wall and said, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. 00:23:05.839 --> 00:23:07.200 I couldn't say it anymore. 00:23:08.880 --> 00:23:17.200 And I've had times where my anxiety has been so high that my prayer was not to pray. 00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:21.519 Because the more I prayed about it, the more anxious I found myself getting. 00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:26.480 And my not praying was actually a form of surrender. 00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:34.160 Sometimes we have to be just this honest with ourselves. 00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:36.640 Say I'm feeling overwhelmed. 00:23:37.119 --> 00:23:39.039 I don't see a way out. 00:23:41.119 --> 00:23:44.000 When it's that high, it's almost impossible to ignore. 00:23:44.160 --> 00:23:45.839 I think it's even a little bit more dangerous. 00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:47.279 It's more overwhelming here. 00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:50.640 It's a little more dangerous when it's moderate or slight. 00:23:50.960 --> 00:23:56.960 Because it's causing us to do and be and think all kinds of different things, and we're not aware of it. 00:23:57.200 --> 00:24:09.279 So growing in our ability to be aware of it, to check in with ourselves during the day, to invite God to check in with us, to invite our friends and community. 00:24:09.519 --> 00:24:14.240 How is it, what do I do when you see me anxious? 00:24:14.400 --> 00:24:22.640 I remember being in a small group many years ago, and one of the people in the group, we asked this question amongst each other. 00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:34.799 And one of the men in the group was able to say to somebody else, to another man in the group, when you get anxious, you shut down, you stop talking, you get really quiet. 00:24:35.839 --> 00:24:39.039 And at first, the guy said, I don't think I do that. 00:24:39.119 --> 00:24:42.720 And you know, the rest of the group's like, yeah, you do, yeah, you do. 00:24:42.960 --> 00:24:53.440 And then later on in the conversation, one of the women said to one of her friends, you talk so much when you get anxious. 00:24:53.519 --> 00:24:55.119 When Brian said, I talk fast. 00:24:55.279 --> 00:25:00.240 Sometimes that's just me being excited about an idea, and other times it's my anxiety. 00:25:00.559 --> 00:25:03.759 And the girl, I mean, you would have laughed if you had been there. 00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:07.440 She just went on about 80 miles an hour for the next two minutes about why she doesn't do that. 00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:11.039 And we're just all like, uh, like right now, what you're doing right now. 00:25:11.519 --> 00:25:14.880 Um, pay attention, be a student of yourself. 00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:15.200 St. 00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:19.680 Augustine, who lived about 300 years after Jesus, fascinating character. 00:25:19.839 --> 00:25:24.720 If you ever want to go deep into one of the early church fathers, he's a great one to start with. 00:25:24.880 --> 00:25:26.480 Very unusual story. 00:25:26.799 --> 00:25:33.599 But he said that the um the knowledge of God always begins with the knowledge of self. 00:25:34.720 --> 00:25:49.519 Not in a narcissistic way, but in a way that understands that God is so big to understand that if you can just start with understanding how he made you, you're gonna go very far over time to be able to understand other people and to understand who God is. 00:25:49.680 --> 00:26:05.839 So this self-awareness that is kind of a tough journey, but to commit, you know, reality show people should listen to these four things I'm about to tell you, to really pay attention to anxiety and to be able to name it and become very self-aware. 00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:09.839 And then to without shame just say, yeah, I'm feeling anxious. 00:26:10.079 --> 00:26:22.640 The second thing I would say is, as I mentioned a few minutes ago, Steve Cuss says in his book that anxiety almost always has it at its center that I am not getting something that I think I need. 00:26:23.839 --> 00:26:31.279 So, how do I identify what it is that I'm grasping on to that I believe I need in this situation? 00:26:32.480 --> 00:26:34.880 I believe I need to keep my job no matter what. 00:26:35.039 --> 00:26:39.119 I believe I need to stay in this relationship or get out of this relationship no matter what. 00:26:39.279 --> 00:26:43.680 I believe I need somebody to stop honking at me when I change lanes. 00:26:43.839 --> 00:26:51.039 Whatever it is, the myth that I must have this in order for my life to be okay. 00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:53.519 I have to let go. 00:26:54.079 --> 00:26:57.279 I have to do what Jesus says to die to myself. 00:26:57.519 --> 00:27:02.640 It doesn't sound like a very attractive premise to die to myself. 00:27:02.720 --> 00:27:04.559 It's because it's a lot of work. 00:27:05.839 --> 00:27:09.920 That life is a lifelong journey of surrender and loss. 00:27:10.079 --> 00:27:12.160 Henry Nowen writes beautifully about this. 00:27:12.319 --> 00:27:17.519 If you haven't read Henry Nowen, I highly recommend reading his material. 00:27:17.680 --> 00:27:20.240 But he says life is really a series of loss. 00:27:20.960 --> 00:27:24.319 And the older you get, the more the loss increases. 00:27:24.559 --> 00:27:30.720 And to get very comfortable with and familiar with, I am grieving something that I thought I needed. 00:27:30.960 --> 00:27:33.119 And now it's time to surrender it. 00:27:33.599 --> 00:27:37.200 Not only is this not easy, I think sometimes it's counterintuitive. 00:27:37.440 --> 00:27:41.519 A couple of years ago, uh, the organization I work with, we had Andy Crouch out. 00:27:41.599 --> 00:27:48.000 He's a Christian who writes a lot about the intersection of faith and culture in very profound, deep ways. 00:27:48.160 --> 00:27:52.000 And I was going through something at that time that was really difficult. 00:27:52.160 --> 00:28:14.240 And uh I remember we had tables of church leaders there, and he taught for a while, and then people were asking him questions, and one of them asked him some question about suffering, and I was just standing in the back of the room listening, and he said, the only promise that we get from Jesus in our suffering is not that he will take it away, but that he will be with us. 00:28:15.279 --> 00:28:19.039 And I said, Inside, that's not enough. 00:28:20.079 --> 00:28:28.480 I think conversations like that are really critical if you're going to work through getting to the place where you can really invite God in to change your anxiety. 00:28:28.720 --> 00:28:34.559 If we mindlessly believe that kind of stuff, well, it's okay, Jesus is with me, that's enough. 00:28:34.720 --> 00:28:37.440 Um, that's behavioral modification. 00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:45.440 It's the internal work to say, uh, maybe someday I'll believe that that's enough, but right now, I just want you to fix this. 00:28:45.599 --> 00:28:47.680 I just want you to change the situation. 00:28:47.839 --> 00:28:50.480 And honestly, I know you can because you're all powerful. 00:28:50.799 --> 00:28:52.160 Don't understand why you're not. 00:28:52.400 --> 00:28:54.079 This wrestling with God. 00:28:55.119 --> 00:29:00.160 The book of Psalms in Hebrew, no, the book of Psalm means praise. 00:29:00.559 --> 00:29:06.480 Mathematically, there are two-thirds psalms of lament and one-third praise. 00:29:06.960 --> 00:29:11.039 There are verses that say, I hope my enemy's teeth fall out of his head. 00:29:11.359 --> 00:29:12.799 This is scripture. 00:29:13.200 --> 00:29:17.519 There is a verse in there that says, I hope my enemy's first child is stillborn. 00:29:20.079 --> 00:29:43.440 Maybe mathematically, there's two-thirds lament in the Psalms, because the way to get to true praise, to really believe that it's enough that Jesus is with me, is through the conflict and through the lament and through the wrestling and the surrender of what it was that I've been grasping onto so desperately that I really think I need to be happy. 00:29:44.960 --> 00:29:54.079 And the last thing, and this one is the most important, is to build your center in your soul with God. 00:29:54.319 --> 00:29:56.480 There is a little place inside of you. 00:29:56.880 --> 00:29:59.119 Could be in your head, could be in your heart. 00:29:59.279 --> 00:30:06.799 I always feel like it's right here, but I don't care where it is in your in your mind, it's a little center where just you and God live. 00:30:07.839 --> 00:30:17.039 And you will carve it out and pat the grass down and wear it enough that there's this little place where you can talk to him about all these things that you feel anxious about. 00:30:17.839 --> 00:30:21.759 And eventually say, Yeah, it is enough that you're with me. 00:30:22.319 --> 00:30:29.440 And then you will go back to your life and you will wear a little path so that you can get back to that center when you need it. 00:30:29.599 --> 00:30:36.400 And sometimes you don't go back to the center very often and you need a machete to find your way back to that center and find the path. 00:30:36.640 --> 00:30:43.839 And other times you go back and forth enough so much, maybe out of desperation or whatever, that the path is well worn. 00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:46.640 But that's the place you need to build. 00:30:47.039 --> 00:30:52.079 And honestly, you may have to on many days go back there 189 times. 00:30:52.720 --> 00:30:55.440 And maybe you only get there for six seconds. 00:30:56.559 --> 00:30:58.400 That's the journey. 00:30:58.880 --> 00:31:04.880 The danger is when we have people that tell us, oh yes, I found that center and I live now out of that center all the time. 00:31:05.279 --> 00:31:06.240 No, they don't. 00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:08.720 That's not the way it works. 00:31:09.039 --> 00:31:13.759 We need to challenge that myth and refuse to believe it. 00:31:14.079 --> 00:31:19.039 So that with Jesus, we are fighting our way back to find him all the time. 00:31:19.839 --> 00:31:20.720 I need you. 00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:22.960 I need you. 00:31:24.160 --> 00:31:28.400 I can't find my way back, and then I find my way back, and it's like, there you are. 00:31:28.880 --> 00:31:31.119 I just need to sit with you for a few minutes. 00:31:31.599 --> 00:31:37.839 And I need to remind myself of all the myths I believe and what's really, really true. 00:31:38.640 --> 00:31:42.720 And what's true is it is enough that you are with me. 00:31:43.359 --> 00:31:48.000 But you don't get to say that without the hard-fought journey to actually believe it. 00:31:48.240 --> 00:31:53.519 Not believe that somebody else fought the journey and told you about it, but that you did. 00:31:58.559 --> 00:32:17.759 Yesterday, when I was getting ready to leave Omaha to get back, so that I could be here with you guys this morning, I was staying at a very nice hotel, and the night before I checked with the front desk and they got a taxi because I wasn't trusting their 25-minute Ubers to show up at 7:30 for my early flight. 00:32:18.079 --> 00:32:20.880 The guy texted me, it was all confirmed. 00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:27.039 Got up that morning, stood out there, texted him, I'm in the lobby, I'm ready, and he never showed up. 00:32:27.359 --> 00:32:28.880 Did I mention I was in Omaha? 00:32:29.039 --> 00:32:30.960 I think there's a problem in Omaha. 00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:34.880 So I went to the front desk and I said, Hey, I have a situation. 00:32:35.119 --> 00:32:44.799 Worked with the front desk last night, explained everything to him, and I am, well, I need to get to the airport, and I need to get there soon. 00:32:45.440 --> 00:32:49.920 And the guy said to me, Well, we've done everything we can. 00:32:51.680 --> 00:32:56.400 And I said, Oh, oh, I don't think you have. 00:33:14.240 --> 00:33:22.480 Um, I trusted you guys last night to find me a ride, and I don't think I was my best self in that interaction. 00:33:22.640 --> 00:33:28.000 Now, I do believe there was a part of me that legitimately had a fair argument with him. 00:33:28.240 --> 00:33:34.000 And at the same time, it took me till I got to the airport, the valet finally drove me. 00:33:34.160 --> 00:33:37.279 I said, I'll give you 20 bucks if you'll take me, said sure I'll take you. 00:33:37.599 --> 00:33:50.160 To realize, oh, I was losing control, and I thought I needed, which I did need to be here, because Ryan's anxiety would go through the roof if I said, Well, you have to preach because I'm not gonna be there. 00:33:51.039 --> 00:33:59.279 But there was not a very big part of me that moved to surrender quickly, and the irony was I was coming here to preach on anxiety. 00:33:59.440 --> 00:34:00.720 That's really funny. 00:34:00.960 --> 00:34:03.680 I'm still working on this. 00:34:03.920 --> 00:34:07.039 This, my friends, is a lifelong journey. 00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:10.239 It is the heart of the journey with Jesus. 00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:18.800 A couple of years ago, um, we had Pastor Ken Foreman from Cathedral of Faith do a devotional for some of our pastor leaders, right? 00:34:19.039 --> 00:34:20.960 I don't know if you remember if you were there. 00:34:21.519 --> 00:34:25.760 But he talked about where Jesus says, My yoke is easy. 00:34:26.079 --> 00:34:33.280 Now, I don't know about you, but I feel like Jesus said a lot of really weird things, and this may be in the top five. 00:34:33.599 --> 00:34:37.360 Like, huh, you think your yoke is easy? 00:34:37.599 --> 00:34:39.840 I don't experience it that way. 00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:55.599 And then Ken went on to explain that in Jesus' day, if you were a farmer, and this was a very much an agricultural agrarian society, and you had two oxen, and you would invite the carpenter from the town to come out to your field. 00:34:55.840 --> 00:35:02.400 And if it was obvious, he would know how to craft the yoke to fit the larger oxen more heavily. 00:35:02.480 --> 00:35:16.000 But if the oxen looked very similar, he could by the he had been trained by feel and sight to be able to determine how to craft the yoke so a disproportionate amount of the weight fell on the larger ox. 00:35:17.280 --> 00:35:22.079 And then after he explained that, Ken just simply said, Jesus was a carpenter. 00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:25.280 This is what Jesus did for a living. 00:35:25.440 --> 00:35:33.119 So when Jesus said, My yoke is easy, he wasn't saying, hey, mindlessly just believe that following me is a walk in the park. 00:35:33.280 --> 00:35:34.639 That's not what he was saying at all. 00:35:34.800 --> 00:35:38.239 He was saying, in this world you will have tribulation. 00:35:38.639 --> 00:35:40.400 You will have a yoke on you. 00:35:40.559 --> 00:35:43.760 This is not a leisurely thing to have a yoke on you. 00:35:44.000 --> 00:35:52.559 And in that, I have created a yoke that puts a disproportionate amount of weight on me, not you. 00:35:54.719 --> 00:35:59.519 I bought on Etsy a yoke for Ken. 00:35:59.920 --> 00:36:00.559 I did. 00:36:01.360 --> 00:36:02.960 Etsy's tough though. 00:36:03.119 --> 00:36:05.679 It came from Ukraine before the war started. 00:36:06.000 --> 00:36:10.079 And when it got delivered, I had bought him a little yoke to put on his desk. 00:36:10.159 --> 00:36:11.840 It was seven feet wide. 00:36:12.159 --> 00:36:17.840 I didn't read all the little details in there, but he has it in his office. 00:36:18.159 --> 00:36:38.239 Because I said, you have no idea not only how much that message meant to me, but how much I repeat that telling of it because I think it's easy at first blush to listen to what Jesus said and to just shake your head, or to mindlessly adhere to it when you don't really believe it. 00:36:38.719 --> 00:36:46.880 I remind myself of that truth often during the day when I'm in my little center spot. 00:36:47.599 --> 00:36:51.280 Sometimes I don't even go to my center spot all day long. 00:36:51.760 --> 00:36:54.159 Sometimes for weeks I don't find my way there. 00:36:54.320 --> 00:36:59.760 Sometimes there's days when I live there well, other days there's days when I fight with a machete to get back there. 00:36:59.840 --> 00:37:04.719 But almost every time I get there, I try to remind myself of the yoke. 00:37:05.199 --> 00:37:16.800 And that whatever anxiety I'm feeling, and however it looks in my life, that my job is to place the disproportionate amount of weight on Jesus by saying, I think I'm anxious about all these things that I think I need. 00:37:17.119 --> 00:37:18.559 Remember what Jesus said to Martha? 00:37:18.639 --> 00:37:23.360 Oh Martha, you're worried about so many things, but you only need this one thing. 00:37:23.679 --> 00:37:25.280 That's the journey. 00:37:25.599 --> 00:37:35.039 And for awakenings to be a place in a community in our small groups, in our interaction time where we can actually have the conversation about, I'm feeling anxious about this. 00:37:35.440 --> 00:37:38.239 And the I'll pray for you, that's lovely. 00:37:38.400 --> 00:37:39.679 Please don't ever stop doing that. 00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:45.760 But maybe even another sentence, what will you do this week when you notice it rising up in you? 00:37:46.079 --> 00:37:56.000 I think learning to talk to ourselves, to have these conversations with our minds and with Jesus is such a part of what it means to be a disciple of Jesus. 00:37:56.239 --> 00:37:57.360 Let's pray. 00:37:59.599 --> 00:38:08.719 Father, I wish there was a cartoon bubble over every head in here, including mine, that was full of all of the things that we're anxious about. 00:38:09.440 --> 00:38:11.679 So that we could see we're not alone. 00:38:12.239 --> 00:38:15.840 So that we could see that other people don't be afraid. 00:38:16.400 --> 00:38:17.840 For I am with you. 00:38:18.320 --> 00:38:19.440 I am with you. 00:38:20.239 --> 00:38:27.920 I pray that we would have the courage to name it, to sit with it, to talk to other people about it, but mostly to be with you in it, God. 00:38:28.480 --> 00:38:36.800 I think that your kindness and your goodness is really reflected in the promise of I am with you. 00:38:36.960 --> 00:38:42.079 And maybe it may it be true of all of us in our journey with Jesus in Christ's name. 00:38:42.320 --> 00:38:42.960 Amen. 00:38:44.000 --> 00:38:46.239 We hope you are blessed by this message. 00:38:46.480 --> 00:38:50.880 Please subscribe to our podcast for access to every episode as they're uploaded. 00:38:51.039 --> 00:38:53.119 And hey, we'd love to connect with you. 00:38:53.280 --> 00:38:59.280 Take a next step by filling out our virtual connection card at awakeningchurch.com slash card.