WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.319 Welcome to the Awakening Church podcast. 00:00:02.560 --> 00:00:07.040 We pray this message encourages you and provides the hope and light of Jesus Christ. 00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:08.640 Thanks for tuning in. 00:00:19.120 --> 00:00:20.879 Well, good morning, Awakening. 00:00:21.039 --> 00:00:22.160 Great to be with you. 00:00:22.320 --> 00:00:23.199 My name's Ryan. 00:00:23.359 --> 00:00:26.079 If we haven't met yet, thrilled to have you join us today. 00:00:26.239 --> 00:00:30.719 We're in part three of a series we're calling Anxiety. 00:00:30.879 --> 00:00:31.199 Yeah. 00:00:31.440 --> 00:00:38.880 Didn't come up with a creative name, but uh we all have it, so I figured we'd all resonate with it. 00:00:39.280 --> 00:00:44.479 Um today, the sermon title, and go ahead and say this to your maybe not. 00:00:44.719 --> 00:00:45.679 I don't know if you should. 00:00:45.840 --> 00:00:48.799 The sermon title is called The Soul of Shame. 00:00:49.359 --> 00:00:50.159 I don't know. 00:00:50.320 --> 00:00:51.119 I don't know. 00:00:51.439 --> 00:00:51.759 No? 00:00:52.240 --> 00:00:54.560 Yeah, no, no, don't do that, don't do that. 00:00:54.640 --> 00:00:55.439 That's good. 00:00:55.679 --> 00:01:04.959 Um and I gotta be honest, I shamelessly stole the title from this book by Dr. 00:01:05.040 --> 00:01:08.400 Kurt Thompson, The Soul of Shame. 00:01:08.719 --> 00:01:10.640 And here's the reason why. 00:01:10.879 --> 00:01:27.120 Uh in this series, and in particular this message, I have 35 minutes to talk on an incredibly deeply weighty, painful, personal subject upon which we're only going to scratch the surface. 00:01:27.439 --> 00:01:43.439 And I think for many in this room, the next step from this sermon is to pick up, this is an excellent, excellent book, um and read it with a friend and talk through this and actually dive deeper. 00:01:43.840 --> 00:01:47.200 I've been praying for you, I've been praying for us. 00:01:47.680 --> 00:02:09.280 And my prayer is that uh Jesus would meet us right where we're at, that there would be this moment where you encounter his grace, his love, and that his voice would speak louder to you than the voice of shame that's been speaking to you. 00:02:10.159 --> 00:02:14.319 And Jesus said, It is for freedom that I've come to set you free. 00:02:14.400 --> 00:02:25.039 And my prayer is today for many the lifting of the burden, the lifting of the weight, the silencing of the voice, that that would begin today. 00:02:25.199 --> 00:02:27.199 So would you pray with me as we dive in? 00:02:28.159 --> 00:02:30.639 Heavenly Father, we welcome you here. 00:02:32.479 --> 00:02:35.680 To speak, to meet with us. 00:02:40.240 --> 00:02:52.719 And God, we just recognize that so many of us have a tape playing on repeat in our minds of worthlessness, of unlovable, of a waste. 00:02:54.319 --> 00:02:59.280 Even when we're not aware it, shame seems to be operating in the background of our lives. 00:03:01.520 --> 00:03:06.719 So in this moment, Holy Spirit, would you move? 00:03:07.280 --> 00:03:08.639 Would you speak? 00:03:10.000 --> 00:03:19.680 Would you meet our depths at heart's cry to bring life and hope and purpose and peace and love and joy. 00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:21.120 That's what you do. 00:03:22.080 --> 00:03:24.159 So we come expectant. 00:03:24.800 --> 00:03:26.319 In Jesus' name. 00:03:26.960 --> 00:03:27.599 Amen. 00:03:29.759 --> 00:03:35.759 Shame and anxiety often form a destructive partnership in our lives. 00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:39.520 Every one of us hears the voice of shame at some point. 00:03:40.159 --> 00:03:47.199 It whispers we're failures, fundamentally flawed, unworthy of acceptance or belonging. 00:03:48.400 --> 00:03:56.719 It taunts us with thoughts like, if only you were smarter, more attractive, thinner, better looking, more successful. 00:03:58.000 --> 00:04:07.840 Shame cast its shadow, and anxiety follows as an unwelcome intruder asking, Will I ever be enough? 00:04:09.199 --> 00:04:13.039 Is this how it will always be? 00:04:15.280 --> 00:04:23.040 How does Jesus encounter us in the midst of our shame and anxiety? 00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:33.600 And what hope does the gospel offer against the burden of shame that we all bear and carry? 00:04:35.360 --> 00:04:50.399 I think Peter, one of Jesus' twelve disciples, he understood and experienced the weight of shame firsthand, like few of those early followers. 00:04:50.639 --> 00:05:07.680 And it's in his story and his encounter with Jesus that we learn and see how Jesus wants to meet you and meet me and how he longs to bring healing and wholeness to our lives. 00:05:08.079 --> 00:05:10.079 If you don't know, Peter was a fisherman. 00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:16.879 He was a fisherman with his brother Andrew, and they had a wonderful, thriving, you know, family business. 00:05:16.959 --> 00:05:21.839 They worked with their dad on the Sea of Galilee, and they partnered with James and John. 00:05:21.920 --> 00:05:23.360 They're the sons of Zebedee. 00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:31.360 So you had this family's working together, and they heard about this itinerant preacher named Jesus. 00:05:31.439 --> 00:05:34.639 Um he was gaining in popularity. 00:05:35.040 --> 00:05:42.560 He was his teachings were incredible, they were powerful, and then he was doing these miracles that were like, what is going on? 00:05:42.720 --> 00:05:51.600 I mean, the amount of crowds that began to surround Jesus, it was like uh Coachella for the ancient day, you know. 00:05:51.839 --> 00:05:53.680 It just was it was going off. 00:05:54.319 --> 00:06:07.759 And one day Jesus is walking along the Sea of Galilee, he's got a crowd so thick behind him, he sees these empty fishing boats, and Peter and uh Andrew there are mending their nets, and he says, Hey, can I borrow one of those? 00:06:07.839 --> 00:06:10.240 And they're like, sure, cast out a few yards. 00:06:10.399 --> 00:06:11.279 I'm gonna teach. 00:06:11.439 --> 00:06:17.759 And Jesus sits down and teaches for for a bit, and uh Peter's like, that's that was pretty good. 00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:18.560 That was decent. 00:06:18.639 --> 00:06:20.399 That's uh you're you're all that. 00:06:20.639 --> 00:06:30.879 And then and then Peter has this encounter with Jesus that changed his life, the trajectory of his life, his what he would do for the rest of his life. 00:06:30.959 --> 00:06:41.519 Uh Jesus looks at him and says, Hey, why why don't you um set your boat out into deep water and cast your nets? 00:06:41.839 --> 00:06:45.600 And Peter had just finished a long, hard night's work. 00:06:45.680 --> 00:06:49.199 He says, Lord, we fished all night, because that's when you fish, by the way. 00:06:49.360 --> 00:06:52.319 Didn't want to remind you, but here I go again, uh, reminding you. 00:06:52.480 --> 00:06:55.120 We fished all night and we caught nothing. 00:06:55.680 --> 00:07:01.360 Translation Um, Jesus, you're a great teacher, but I'm a professional fisherman. 00:07:01.439 --> 00:07:03.759 Let me do the fishing, you do the teaching. 00:07:04.319 --> 00:07:10.240 He says, but because you say so, we'll cast out. 00:07:10.399 --> 00:07:12.480 We'll we'll do what she said. 00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:16.560 They set it out into deep water. 00:07:16.720 --> 00:07:17.759 Many of you know the story. 00:07:17.839 --> 00:07:22.399 They they cast their nets and they get such a load of fish. 00:07:22.639 --> 00:07:25.759 Peter and Andrew aren't able to bring it in on their own. 00:07:25.839 --> 00:07:30.959 They call to James and John, hey, come help us bring this uh you know load in. 00:07:31.120 --> 00:07:33.120 They roll into shore. 00:07:33.360 --> 00:07:38.720 Peter overwhelmed, now recognizing he's not in the presence of a mere mortal. 00:07:38.800 --> 00:07:43.040 He's afraid, he gets down on his face, he's like, I'm a sinner. 00:07:43.600 --> 00:07:44.800 Woe is me. 00:07:45.199 --> 00:07:55.040 And Jesus looks at him and says, From this day forward, you'll no longer be a fisherman, but you'll be a fisher of men. 00:07:55.759 --> 00:07:58.480 Come, follow me. 00:07:58.879 --> 00:08:07.680 And that day, the day after the greatest catch of their life, they left their nets and their father and they followed Jesus. 00:08:07.759 --> 00:08:09.360 It was three years or so. 00:08:09.600 --> 00:08:13.040 Peter followed Jesus everywhere Jesus went. 00:08:13.120 --> 00:08:14.319 He got to hear him teach. 00:08:14.480 --> 00:08:19.839 He watched the blind get sight, the lame were healed, lepers were cleansed. 00:08:20.079 --> 00:08:26.160 He even saw that the wind and the waves obeyed the very voice of Jesus. 00:08:26.639 --> 00:08:28.000 And it was Peter. 00:08:28.319 --> 00:08:39.679 It was Peter on that night when they're in the middle of the Sea of Galilee and the storm is raging, and they see what they thought was a ghost walking on the lake, and then it's Jesus saying, It is I. 00:08:39.840 --> 00:08:44.399 He says, Lord, if it's really you, call me to you and I'll come to you. 00:08:44.639 --> 00:08:46.000 And Jesus says, Come. 00:08:46.240 --> 00:08:51.679 And it was Peter who stepped out of the boat and walked on water. 00:08:52.080 --> 00:08:58.879 It was Peter who first acknowledged Jesus that he was not just a good man, but he was the Son of God. 00:08:59.039 --> 00:09:01.759 When Jesus asked, Who do you say that I am? 00:09:01.919 --> 00:09:07.600 And Peter says, You are the Christ, you're the Messiah, the Son of the Living God. 00:09:08.720 --> 00:09:19.759 And it was Peter that Jesus said to, Upon this rock, I will build my church. 00:09:21.200 --> 00:09:23.039 And then it was Peter. 00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:35.360 On the night that Jesus was betrayed, as he's foretelling that the cross is ahead of him and that he would be taken into custody by the religious leaders and executed. 00:09:35.600 --> 00:09:39.759 It was Peter that said, I'll never leave you. 00:09:39.840 --> 00:09:42.320 I'm gonna be right by your side. 00:09:45.200 --> 00:09:51.039 Even if I have to die, I'll never disown you. 00:09:52.480 --> 00:09:55.039 And most of us know the story of Peter. 00:09:55.759 --> 00:10:15.919 It was Peter who snuck in with a buddy into the temple court, or not in the temple courts, into the high priest outer courts of their house, hanging around as Jesus is being unjustly tried, trying to be incognito. 00:10:18.559 --> 00:10:24.639 And uh a servant girl looks at him and says, Hey, you got a Galilean accent. 00:10:25.600 --> 00:10:28.320 Aren't you one of Jesus' disciples? 00:10:28.399 --> 00:10:30.000 He said, No, I'm not. 00:10:31.120 --> 00:10:35.840 And then someone else says, Aren't you one of Jesus' disciples? 00:10:35.919 --> 00:10:37.919 Certainly you're one of them. 00:10:38.799 --> 00:10:39.759 No, I'm not. 00:10:39.919 --> 00:10:51.919 And John tells us that it was a cold night, and they're sitting around and standing behind around the servants and the guards around what he calls a charcoal fire, and they're just warming themselves. 00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:58.320 And yet again, for the third time, Peter's asked, Aren't you one of them? 00:10:59.919 --> 00:11:04.320 And he says, I never knew the man. 00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:16.240 And what we read, and what you'll notice, is Jesus is being tried, and Peter's in the temple courts, they can see one another. 00:11:17.279 --> 00:11:30.480 And the minute Peter denied Jesus that third time, the rooster crow, Jesus had predicted, he said, You'll deny me, Peter, three times before the rooster crows, before morning comes, this very night. 00:11:30.559 --> 00:11:31.679 The rooster crow. 00:11:33.039 --> 00:11:36.399 Jesus in the distance turns and looks at Peter. 00:11:36.639 --> 00:11:38.879 Peter looks at Jesus. 00:11:40.720 --> 00:11:45.519 His friend, his rabbi, his lord. 00:11:47.120 --> 00:11:54.720 When he needed him most, Peter fell short. 00:11:56.000 --> 00:11:58.399 And the text says he went away. 00:11:58.879 --> 00:12:02.320 And he wept bitterly. 00:12:03.679 --> 00:12:05.039 He just wept. 00:12:06.320 --> 00:12:11.279 And the wave of shame washed over him. 00:12:12.080 --> 00:12:19.519 This was the defining moment of Peter's life, a core memory of the worst kind. 00:12:21.519 --> 00:12:23.840 His life was building up to something. 00:12:24.080 --> 00:12:25.679 He was on a new trajectory. 00:12:25.840 --> 00:12:28.000 Jesus had called him to a new path. 00:12:28.240 --> 00:12:31.200 And now he is a failure. 00:12:33.039 --> 00:12:36.240 We all carry defining moments of failure, don't we? 00:12:36.960 --> 00:12:38.399 Not measuring up. 00:12:39.039 --> 00:12:44.240 Our failures have a way of casting a disproportionate shadow over our future. 00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:46.799 Shame speaks loudly, doesn't it? 00:12:47.120 --> 00:12:48.799 Who do you think you are? 00:12:49.759 --> 00:12:51.279 You're worthless. 00:12:51.519 --> 00:12:53.039 You're so dumb. 00:12:53.679 --> 00:12:56.240 You couldn't even do one thing right. 00:12:57.039 --> 00:12:59.039 You're a waste of space. 00:13:00.320 --> 00:13:02.240 What were you thinking? 00:13:03.360 --> 00:13:05.600 Now here's what's interesting. 00:13:07.840 --> 00:13:12.799 What's interesting is what Peter did after the resurrection. 00:13:14.879 --> 00:13:16.240 He denies Jesus. 00:13:16.480 --> 00:13:20.399 The next day, his Lord and Savior's crucified. 00:13:21.279 --> 00:13:28.799 And on Sunday, the greatest event of human history, Jesus rises from the dead. 00:13:28.879 --> 00:13:38.879 But here's what's interesting: even after the resurrection, it seemed Peter no longer felt worthy to be a fisher of men, and so he returned back to being a fisherman. 00:13:39.440 --> 00:13:42.879 Jesus is risen, Peter's back on the boat. 00:13:43.200 --> 00:13:50.000 Peter saw the risen Jesus and concluded his failure had disqualified him. 00:13:50.559 --> 00:13:53.440 And isn't that where many of us are? 00:13:55.279 --> 00:14:00.240 How many times can I confess the same thing to Jesus? 00:14:01.519 --> 00:14:03.840 How many times can I come back to him? 00:14:04.080 --> 00:14:06.320 It's just embarrassing at this point, right? 00:14:07.200 --> 00:14:08.559 I'm a screw up. 00:14:09.440 --> 00:14:14.639 Even a good and loving God could never really want me anymore. 00:14:17.279 --> 00:14:22.559 I want you to notice how Jesus encountered Peter in the midst of his pain and shame. 00:14:22.799 --> 00:14:25.440 This is the hope the gospel offers us. 00:14:25.679 --> 00:14:30.000 If you got your Bibles, would you open up to John chapter 21? 00:14:30.720 --> 00:14:33.600 John chapter 21, Peter returned to his trade. 00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:35.519 He's such a leader, by the way. 00:14:35.679 --> 00:14:37.919 A few others followed him. 00:14:39.279 --> 00:14:49.679 Verse 4, it says, Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize it was Jesus. 00:14:50.240 --> 00:14:51.200 He called to them. 00:14:51.360 --> 00:14:55.600 Now Peter is out fishing with James and John and a few others. 00:14:55.840 --> 00:14:58.799 He called to them, friends, haven't you any fish? 00:15:00.159 --> 00:15:03.600 And he asked it in the way that assumes no. 00:15:04.720 --> 00:15:11.919 It's kind of like you ever walk by some fishermen and you realize their things empty, they haven't caught, but you still ask, anyways. 00:15:12.080 --> 00:15:13.039 It's maybe the polite thing. 00:15:13.120 --> 00:15:14.320 You're like, catch anything? 00:15:14.960 --> 00:15:15.759 How's the fish? 00:15:17.759 --> 00:15:19.600 No, they replied. 00:15:20.799 --> 00:15:23.600 Sometimes I really question how good a fisherman they were. 00:15:23.759 --> 00:15:26.480 They keep not catching fish. 00:15:27.759 --> 00:15:33.200 And he said, verse 6, throw your net on the right side of the boat and you'll find some. 00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:37.120 Oh, that was the problem. 00:15:37.679 --> 00:15:39.279 Wrong side of the boat again. 00:15:39.360 --> 00:15:40.799 How many times? 00:15:41.120 --> 00:15:43.360 Cast it on the wrong side. 00:15:44.639 --> 00:15:45.600 And they did it. 00:15:45.759 --> 00:15:51.200 When they did, they were able to haul the net in because the large number of fish. 00:15:51.440 --> 00:16:00.240 Then the disciple who Jesus loved, that's how, by the way, John speaks about himself, said to Peter, It is the Lord. 00:16:00.399 --> 00:16:03.600 As soon as Simon Peter heard him say this, it's the Lord. 00:16:03.679 --> 00:16:06.399 He wrapped his outer garment around him, for he had taken it off. 00:16:06.559 --> 00:16:07.600 He jumped into the water. 00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:13.519 The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they're not far from shore, about a hundred yards. 00:16:13.759 --> 00:16:20.399 When they landed, they saw a fire burning with coals, there with it fish on it, and some bread. 00:16:20.559 --> 00:16:23.120 Jesus says, Bring me some of the fish you've caught. 00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:25.519 He says, Come have some breakfast. 00:16:25.759 --> 00:16:26.960 They sit and they eat. 00:16:27.279 --> 00:16:34.720 Verse 15, when they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon, Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these? 00:16:34.960 --> 00:16:36.559 Do you love me more than your fishing? 00:16:36.720 --> 00:16:38.879 Do you love me more than your friends? 00:16:39.039 --> 00:16:41.759 Do you love me more than the shame that you're carrying? 00:16:42.159 --> 00:16:42.960 Yes, Lord. 00:16:43.120 --> 00:16:44.639 He said, You know that I love you. 00:16:45.679 --> 00:16:47.039 And feed my lambs. 00:16:47.360 --> 00:16:50.000 Again, Jesus said, Simon, son of John, do you love me? 00:16:50.320 --> 00:16:51.679 He answered, Yes, Lord. 00:16:52.159 --> 00:16:53.200 You know that I love you. 00:16:53.840 --> 00:16:56.480 Jesus said, Take care of my sheep. 00:16:57.039 --> 00:17:00.480 A third time he said, Simon, son of John, do you love me? 00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:06.720 Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him a third time, Do you love me? 00:17:07.119 --> 00:17:09.519 And he said, Lord, you know all things. 00:17:09.680 --> 00:17:10.799 You know that I love you. 00:17:11.599 --> 00:17:14.960 Jesus said, feed my sheep. 00:17:15.599 --> 00:17:19.279 How does Jesus encounter us in the midst of our shame and anxiety? 00:17:20.319 --> 00:17:26.240 What hope does the gospel offer us against the burden of shame we bear? 00:17:28.960 --> 00:17:38.799 I want to suggest that how Peter encounters Jesus and how Jesus encounters Peter is exactly how Jesus wants to encounter you today. 00:17:39.519 --> 00:17:40.799 There's three parts to this. 00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:44.400 There's the catch, there's the charcoal, and then there's the questions. 00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:47.119 This is how Jesus encounters Peter. 00:17:47.359 --> 00:17:48.720 He meets him in this moment. 00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:53.599 It's powerful, it's profound, and he wants to meet you today in this moment. 00:17:53.839 --> 00:17:56.720 First thing I want you to just notice is the catch of fish. 00:17:56.960 --> 00:18:04.880 And you'll remember, Jesus set this moment up, handcrafted this moment for Peter. 00:18:05.119 --> 00:18:06.640 The catch of fish. 00:18:13.839 --> 00:18:24.240 Peter assumes, God, you can never want me, you can never use me, I'm only good to go back to what I kind of know, what I can do, and I'm going back to the boat. 00:18:24.480 --> 00:18:32.640 And before Jesus ever says a word to him, he wants to remind him of the day you first met me. 00:18:33.599 --> 00:18:41.039 I want to take you back to that moment when you're sitting by the Sea of Galilee, and I called you out. 00:18:41.519 --> 00:18:45.359 And I called you not to be a fisherman, but a fisher of men. 00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:52.960 You see, shame tells us that our future is forever fractured, doesn't it? 00:18:54.079 --> 00:18:57.200 Shame tells us that, oh, you're not good enough. 00:18:57.279 --> 00:18:58.960 You'll never measure up. 00:19:00.720 --> 00:19:04.400 Well, you had a future, but you screwed it up. 00:19:06.319 --> 00:19:08.400 Wow, God had a calling on your life. 00:19:08.640 --> 00:19:10.720 God, you you you had a purpose. 00:19:10.880 --> 00:19:16.960 Maybe you had a vision, and well, look at where you've been and look at what you've done. 00:19:19.759 --> 00:19:24.960 Just try to eek through, get through, be good and do your thing. 00:19:27.119 --> 00:19:30.000 See, Jesus, he's so powerful. 00:19:30.480 --> 00:19:38.880 He's letting Peter know that this moment carries the very same weight and significance as the very first moment. 00:19:40.559 --> 00:19:43.359 Remember that moment when I called you to be a fisherman? 00:19:43.519 --> 00:19:46.319 Remember when you left the nets behind to follow me? 00:19:46.400 --> 00:19:47.759 Do you remember that? 00:19:48.880 --> 00:19:51.200 I know circumstances have changed. 00:19:51.359 --> 00:19:54.079 My calling hasn't changed on your life. 00:19:54.400 --> 00:19:59.039 Jesus' call on your life is greater than Shame's voice over your life. 00:20:02.559 --> 00:20:07.599 And I think for many of us, Jesus wants to take you back to the day you first met him. 00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:10.799 Christian? 00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:15.359 That's why we take communion, by the way, and at least one of the reasons. 00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:30.079 That it would be this regular reminder of his grace and his love of the day you first met, the day when you were so far from him, the day that he covered all of your shame. 00:20:30.240 --> 00:20:31.440 He took it all on himself. 00:20:31.680 --> 00:20:39.599 He took all the weight of sin and pain, and you experienced his peace and his love and his joy and his life in you. 00:20:39.759 --> 00:20:40.480 And he's gone. 00:20:40.640 --> 00:20:41.920 I know you've wandered away. 00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:43.440 I know you've gone your own way. 00:20:43.599 --> 00:20:50.880 I I know that you feel like shame's voice is so loud, but my calling hasn't changed on you, child. 00:20:51.839 --> 00:20:54.160 My calling hasn't changed. 00:20:56.319 --> 00:20:59.759 I still love you, I'm still for you. 00:21:00.880 --> 00:21:03.359 You're still invited in. 00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:07.119 They catch a fish. 00:21:07.519 --> 00:21:11.920 Jesus took Peter back to the day first meet. 00:21:12.160 --> 00:21:15.680 And then the text, it says it does something kind of interesting. 00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:22.480 The text is Jesus invites Peter to join him around, and it's John's very specific. 00:21:22.880 --> 00:21:24.720 A charcoal fire. 00:21:25.200 --> 00:21:33.839 The Greek word for charcoal fire is actually this word, you know, you'll find the word fire all throughout the New Testament and the Bible. 00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:41.279 This word, charcoal fire, it's used twice in the entire New Testament. 00:21:42.480 --> 00:21:48.480 John 21 5, here where Jesus invites him to sit down around the charcoal fire. 00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:51.680 And John 18 18. 00:21:53.839 --> 00:21:58.880 The place where Peter denied to Jesus. 00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:04.480 See, the catch of fish, Jesus took Peter back to the day he first met, the charcoal fire. 00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:08.000 Jesus took Peter back to the moment of his deepest regret. 00:22:09.759 --> 00:22:15.759 A charcoal fire, by the way, would forever remind Peter of his failure. 00:22:16.000 --> 00:22:24.880 He'd wake up in the morning, the rooster would crow, and somebody's getting the fire going, and every single morning he would wake up smacked in the face. 00:22:25.039 --> 00:22:26.319 I'm a failure. 00:22:29.279 --> 00:22:33.039 Shame has a way of reminding us constantly, doesn't it? 00:22:34.720 --> 00:22:38.319 And for you, it might be a smell, it might be a song. 00:22:38.880 --> 00:22:40.960 It might be the house you're living in. 00:22:42.160 --> 00:22:43.680 The job you're working in. 00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:48.240 Sometimes it's just looking in the mirror, isn't it? 00:22:50.480 --> 00:22:52.160 It just takes us back. 00:22:53.359 --> 00:22:57.279 And this is so important because Jesus doesn't ignore Peter's failure. 00:22:58.559 --> 00:23:03.119 He doesn't say, let's pretend and act like this never happened. 00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:04.640 What happened? 00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:07.039 Yeah, see, it didn't happen. 00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:11.519 Jesus, the great physician, longs to heal Peter. 00:23:13.599 --> 00:23:19.759 Jesus brings Peter face to face with his failure, not to hurt him, but to heal him. 00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:30.559 When I was in college, I went mountain biking with some buddies, and uh we were out several miles from the car. 00:23:30.880 --> 00:23:38.960 Uh this is in Chicago, Illinois area, uh, outside of the city, obviously, where there's actually nature. 00:23:40.640 --> 00:23:51.119 And so we're we're mountain biking and having a great day, and then we kind of came around the curve and we're going a little slow, and you ever just kind of like oh I kind of lost my balance a little bit? 00:23:51.279 --> 00:23:53.680 Not too bad, but as we're coming, there's a tree. 00:23:53.759 --> 00:24:00.400 I didn't look, and I just put my hand out just to hold myself up with the tree, but unfortunately the tree looked like this. 00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:02.640 Yeah. 00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:08.799 That's what how is there trees that look like this? 00:24:09.759 --> 00:24:14.240 That have four-inch spiky thorns on them. 00:24:14.559 --> 00:24:24.799 So I put my hand out, it goes straight into my hand, I get it lodged, it breaks off into my hand, and I'm like trying to pick at it, but obviously you can't get at it. 00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:28.640 The only way back to the car is to ride back. 00:24:28.799 --> 00:24:41.599 And so I'm kind of holding on to the blood's on, it's kind of getting a little slick, but the entire time as I'm riding, it's pushing about an inch thick of thorns left in my hand, deeper and deeper. 00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:49.279 And so I get back to the um back to our dorm and I get some tweezers, I can't get it, it hurts so bad. 00:24:49.440 --> 00:24:57.519 I call my brother like to ask him what to do, and he's like, you know, the body like rejects things naturally, just let it be and it'll it'll go away. 00:24:57.680 --> 00:25:01.039 You'll I did. 00:25:03.599 --> 00:25:06.720 I wake up the next morning, it had covered up. 00:25:08.960 --> 00:25:16.640 And after a week, it kind of healed up, but I still had about an inch-long thorn in my hand. 00:25:16.799 --> 00:25:18.000 You could feel it, you could see it. 00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:19.680 There was this bump right here. 00:25:20.640 --> 00:25:24.400 It hurt from time to time when I closed my hand the wrong way. 00:25:24.640 --> 00:25:27.359 In class, I could just kind of mess with it, you know? 00:25:27.519 --> 00:25:28.880 I could feel it right there. 00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:33.359 I had this thorn in my hand well over a year. 00:25:34.960 --> 00:25:45.200 And I guess maybe, I don't know exactly all the reasons why, but I guess maybe at one point in class I'm just sitting kind of, I mean, it's kind of funny, you have this thing stick in your hand, but it's covered up. 00:25:45.440 --> 00:25:47.359 I just was messing with it. 00:25:47.599 --> 00:25:51.039 And I must, it must have broken down to some extent. 00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:53.440 All of a sudden it got infected. 00:25:53.839 --> 00:25:57.119 And what was closed up became an open source. 00:25:58.240 --> 00:26:05.039 And it got that, you know, deep infection, and then all of a sudden I began to have these red lines coming down. 00:26:06.799 --> 00:26:10.400 We didn't have insurance at the time, had to go to urgent care. 00:26:12.480 --> 00:26:16.880 I had this, I won't go into the grossness of the wind. 00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:26.000 But we go to the doctor, and the doctor takes out his scalpel, and he numbs it as best he can. 00:26:26.079 --> 00:26:27.759 He says, We gotta cut this out. 00:26:28.400 --> 00:26:37.519 Because if it stays in you, if this infection and this, you know, rotting thing stays in you, it will kill you eventually. 00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:46.400 And so he took out his scalpel and he cut into my hand, not to hurt me, but to heal me. 00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:53.759 And he extracted that thorn out of my hand. 00:26:56.240 --> 00:27:12.720 Jesus, the great physician with Peter in this moment, takes him to the place of his deepest regret, his greatest pain, not to hurt him, to heal him, invites him around the very same charcoal fire. 00:27:13.759 --> 00:27:19.359 Not to shame him, but to bring healing. 00:27:19.680 --> 00:27:21.759 And here's what shame does, doesn't it? 00:27:21.920 --> 00:27:24.400 Shame always moves us into hiding. 00:27:25.119 --> 00:27:29.839 Shame always moves us into hiding where we want to just ignore it, we want to push it away. 00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:35.920 We're afraid if anybody really saw it, they wouldn't like us or want us. 00:27:36.720 --> 00:27:40.960 It just kind of sits there and it's covered up and we kind of live and we exist. 00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:43.359 We go, I guess this is just the way it is. 00:27:43.519 --> 00:27:44.880 And Jesus says, no, no, no. 00:27:45.039 --> 00:27:47.119 Let me first remind you of your call. 00:27:47.279 --> 00:27:53.839 It hasn't changed, but I do want to take you to the place of your be your greatest pain, your biggest regret. 00:27:54.880 --> 00:27:57.119 Because I want to do some surgery there. 00:28:00.160 --> 00:28:02.319 I want to bring healing there. 00:28:04.079 --> 00:28:08.960 And what we conceal, God cannot heal. 00:28:09.839 --> 00:28:13.279 When we keep it like this, he's like, no, no, you gotta bring it out. 00:28:13.359 --> 00:28:14.880 We gotta address this. 00:28:16.079 --> 00:28:23.359 See, Jesus will rewrite your story of shame if you allow him to meet you in your deepest pain. 00:28:26.559 --> 00:28:27.839 He longs to. 00:28:32.319 --> 00:28:37.759 And so often we are just satisfied with you know what, it's kind of good enough. 00:28:37.920 --> 00:28:39.759 It doesn't bother me that much right now. 00:28:39.920 --> 00:28:41.759 It gets a little worse at times. 00:28:42.720 --> 00:28:45.119 And Jesus says, Can I take that out of you? 00:28:46.000 --> 00:28:48.799 Can I take that out of you? 00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:53.839 The catch of fish, Jesus took Peter back to the day they first met. 00:28:54.880 --> 00:29:01.279 The charcoal fire, Jesus took Peter back to his moment, his deepest regret. 00:29:01.759 --> 00:29:07.440 He invited Peter to sit around the very same kind of fire where he denied him. 00:29:07.599 --> 00:29:11.519 And he's inviting you and he's inviting me to do the same. 00:29:12.480 --> 00:29:13.759 Where is your pain? 00:29:13.920 --> 00:29:14.799 Where is your shame? 00:29:14.960 --> 00:29:17.119 What is your charcoal fire? 00:29:18.960 --> 00:29:21.759 Where you say, Okay, Jesus, I'm gonna sit with you. 00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:23.599 Would you sit with me? 00:29:24.000 --> 00:29:27.119 And we don't want to sit around the fire because we're afraid. 00:29:28.640 --> 00:29:31.279 We're afraid of what Jesus will sound like. 00:29:32.960 --> 00:29:34.640 What's he gonna say? 00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:38.720 Is he gonna sound like my parents? 00:29:39.599 --> 00:29:42.480 Is he gonna sound like my teacher or coach? 00:29:43.200 --> 00:29:47.359 Is he gonna sound like an ex-spouse or boss or that inner critic? 00:29:47.519 --> 00:29:48.960 Does he sound like me? 00:29:50.559 --> 00:29:55.680 I want you to notice Jesus' response to Peter. 00:29:55.920 --> 00:29:57.039 Three questions. 00:29:57.359 --> 00:30:01.039 Jesus didn't reject Peter but lovingly restored him. 00:30:01.279 --> 00:30:02.160 Three questions. 00:30:02.319 --> 00:30:05.279 Peter disowned Jesus how many times? 00:30:07.359 --> 00:30:08.720 Let's try that one more time. 00:30:08.880 --> 00:30:10.880 Peter disowned Jesus how many times? 00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:11.759 Three times. 00:30:12.480 --> 00:30:38.240 And in this moment around the charcoal fire, three times, rewriting the story, bringing healing, so that no longer would this fire and would this moment and would that moment when he denied him be the defining moment of his life, but Jesus, the healer, and the moment in the presence with Jesus and his pain, and Jesus speaking into that would be the defining moment of his life. 00:30:39.119 --> 00:30:41.279 Because Jesus speaks a better word. 00:30:42.640 --> 00:30:44.079 And bringing healing. 00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:46.799 Notice what Jesus does. 00:30:47.599 --> 00:30:48.720 Three questions. 00:30:49.039 --> 00:30:56.880 First, he says Simon's name, then he asks him a question, and then he gives him a new calling. 00:30:57.759 --> 00:31:02.880 Simon's name, he says, Simon, son of John, Simon, son of John. 00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:06.240 This is powerful, by the way. 00:31:06.960 --> 00:31:09.839 Because you know what shame tells us? 00:31:10.880 --> 00:31:15.039 Shame tells us you are unlovable, you're unredeemable. 00:31:15.359 --> 00:31:17.519 And so it calls you a name. 00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:22.799 Shame says you're not, you didn't just do something bad, you are bad. 00:31:23.119 --> 00:31:24.960 You know what the name of shame says? 00:31:25.119 --> 00:31:31.759 You're a loser, you're a failure, you're damaged good, you're not good enough, you're ugly. 00:31:32.000 --> 00:31:33.119 You're a screw up. 00:31:34.160 --> 00:31:36.400 Rejected, unwanted, unworthy. 00:31:36.480 --> 00:31:39.359 That's the name that shame calls you. 00:31:39.519 --> 00:31:42.079 Jesus starts, Simon, son of John. 00:31:42.880 --> 00:31:48.160 Bobby in our alpha group this last week, as he was talking and closing out, he had this line. 00:31:48.319 --> 00:31:51.680 He said, The enemy knows your name but calls you by your sin. 00:31:52.160 --> 00:31:55.519 Jesus knows your sin but calls you by your name. 00:31:56.400 --> 00:31:56.720 See? 00:31:56.880 --> 00:31:57.200 Yeah. 00:31:57.759 --> 00:31:59.039 Thank you, one of you. 00:31:59.839 --> 00:32:01.519 Your name, you are beloved. 00:32:01.759 --> 00:32:03.359 Your name, you are forgiven. 00:32:03.519 --> 00:32:08.319 Your name, you are daughter and son of the most high God. 00:32:08.799 --> 00:32:11.359 Your name, you're not unwanted, you're not unlovable. 00:32:11.519 --> 00:32:15.680 Jesus knows it all, and he says, I want you, I love you, you're chosen. 00:32:16.000 --> 00:32:18.880 This is your name. 00:32:19.519 --> 00:32:29.599 The very first words that Peter or Jesus says to Peter isn't like, what's up, screw up? 00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:33.440 Simon, son of John. 00:32:33.759 --> 00:32:36.319 And then notice the question that he asked. 00:32:36.640 --> 00:32:37.920 Do you love me? 00:32:38.799 --> 00:32:40.079 Do you love me? 00:32:42.000 --> 00:32:46.480 You know the question that some of us parents have been guilty to ask? 00:32:48.079 --> 00:32:49.759 What were you thinking? 00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:58.640 After all I did for you, how could you? 00:33:01.359 --> 00:33:02.000 Again? 00:33:02.960 --> 00:33:07.920 I get it one time, but after the third time, I like gave you a heads up on this thing, right? 00:33:11.759 --> 00:33:13.920 Jesus' question is relational. 00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:17.440 Shame do, shame moves us to hiding, right? 00:33:17.519 --> 00:33:18.799 And they hid. 00:33:20.240 --> 00:33:27.599 God's first question after Adam and Eve sinned wasn't, what did you do? 00:33:28.559 --> 00:33:30.160 It was, where are you? 00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:32.319 You moved. 00:33:33.279 --> 00:33:34.240 You moved. 00:33:35.519 --> 00:33:36.799 I miss you. 00:33:37.359 --> 00:33:38.640 I want you back. 00:33:40.240 --> 00:33:41.440 Do you love me? 00:33:43.200 --> 00:33:44.480 Three times. 00:33:44.960 --> 00:33:48.319 As if Jesus is erasing from Peter. 00:33:48.720 --> 00:33:54.079 Each and every denial is shame and regret. 00:33:54.720 --> 00:33:57.839 And then he says, Feed my sheep. 00:33:58.880 --> 00:34:00.640 I love that by the way. 00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:08.000 Because I'm sure Peter was expecting a demotion, right? 00:34:09.280 --> 00:34:12.800 Upon this rock, you're going to build church. 00:34:13.119 --> 00:34:14.639 You expect me to be the leader? 00:34:15.599 --> 00:34:17.440 Jesus gives him a promotion. 00:34:17.840 --> 00:34:21.039 And I think Jesus, even in his humor, he changed the metaphor. 00:34:21.199 --> 00:34:23.679 When he first called him, he said, You're going to be a fisher of men. 00:34:23.840 --> 00:34:26.800 But the problem was you might have got that confused and you went back to being a fisherman. 00:34:26.960 --> 00:34:28.079 You're like, well, it's good enough. 00:34:28.159 --> 00:34:29.840 You know, fishermen, fisher of men. 00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:32.639 He's like, you know, let's just go the shepherding metaphor. 00:34:33.840 --> 00:34:36.800 Because you know nothing about shepherding, you're a great fisherman. 00:34:37.119 --> 00:34:38.559 Feed my sheep. 00:34:39.360 --> 00:34:46.079 The promotion, I call myself the good shepherd, and I'm asking you to feed my sheep and shepherd my flock. 00:34:46.639 --> 00:34:52.320 Instead of condemnation, he received a new calling. 00:34:53.519 --> 00:34:57.599 See, Jesus gets the final word over your life, not shame or failure. 00:34:58.639 --> 00:35:01.039 Jesus gets the final word. 00:35:03.840 --> 00:35:08.719 Hebrews 12, 24 actually says, Jesus speaks a better word. 00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:12.559 Not the word of condemnation. 00:35:14.559 --> 00:35:17.280 But under Jesus, a new covenant. 00:35:18.320 --> 00:35:25.679 By the sprinkling of his blood, he speaks a better word over you, his grace unending over you. 00:35:32.239 --> 00:35:42.559 And so as we close, we're gonna take communion together. 00:35:45.360 --> 00:35:56.639 We're gonna take a moment where I pray, would you just sit and be reminded of the very first time you met Jesus? 00:36:00.320 --> 00:36:03.599 And then would you invite him in around your charcoal fire? 00:36:08.719 --> 00:36:13.119 What's the weight and the pain, the heartache you've been carrying? 00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:18.320 You need the voice of Jesus. 00:36:18.880 --> 00:36:21.039 You need the great physician. 00:36:22.800 --> 00:36:26.239 We're gonna sing a song where it says, I give it all to you, God. 00:36:28.239 --> 00:36:33.440 Trusting you will make something beautiful out of me. 00:36:35.119 --> 00:36:36.880 And I gotta be honest. 00:36:38.239 --> 00:36:43.119 When we sang that, I just was in the first service, I just started to cry. 00:36:44.960 --> 00:36:51.760 Because if I'm honest, there's so many times where I'm going, like, God, can you really make something beautiful out of me? 00:36:53.760 --> 00:36:54.719 Can you? 00:36:56.320 --> 00:36:59.280 Because I kind of feel like a failure a lot. 00:36:59.920 --> 00:37:02.960 I kind of feel like I just mess up a ton. 00:37:07.519 --> 00:37:09.519 Maybe that's where you walked in. 00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:17.360 And Jesus' blood speaks a better word over your life. 00:37:17.920 --> 00:37:26.000 Or you would confront the voice of shame that says, You don't have a future. 00:37:27.280 --> 00:37:36.000 Or Jesus says, He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. 00:37:36.079 --> 00:37:38.159 And so you're not done with me yet. 00:37:38.239 --> 00:37:42.880 And so here I bring myself anew to you, trusting. 00:37:43.519 --> 00:37:46.480 Not because I can do anything, trusting you. 00:37:47.360 --> 00:37:50.000 You'll make something beautiful out of this. 00:37:51.280 --> 00:37:52.719 And so would you worship? 00:37:53.440 --> 00:37:54.800 Would you take communion? 00:37:55.840 --> 00:37:58.480 And would you make that your prayer today? 00:37:59.840 --> 00:38:02.079 We hope you are blessed by this message. 00:38:02.239 --> 00:38:06.639 Please subscribe to our podcast for access to every episode as they're uploaded. 00:38:06.800 --> 00:38:08.960 And hey, we'd love to connect with you. 00:38:09.119 --> 00:38:15.039 Take a next step by filling out our virtual connection card at awakeningchurch.com slash card.