WEBVTT 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:02.319 Welcome to the Awakening Church podcast. 00:00:02.479 --> 00:00:07.040 We pray this message encourages you and provides the hope and light of Jesus Christ. 00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:08.640 Thanks for tuning in. 00:00:19.519 --> 00:00:20.559 Awakening. 00:00:20.719 --> 00:00:22.559 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 00:00:22.879 --> 00:00:27.920 Thank you guys so much for meeting and greeting and seeing one another and chatting. 00:00:28.079 --> 00:00:29.760 I do love that about our church. 00:00:30.079 --> 00:00:34.000 You might be wondering, why is Brian still on stage? 00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:36.719 He doesn't preach, he does not teach. 00:00:36.799 --> 00:00:38.320 Um, why is he still here? 00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:43.679 Well, I have the pleasure of introducing our guest speaker for the day. 00:00:43.840 --> 00:00:48.799 Uh so Brooke and Elizabeth Mosser have been in the ministry together for nearly 20 years. 00:00:48.960 --> 00:00:53.679 Uh, Brooke serves as the president and Elizabeth as the vice president of Intentional. 00:00:53.840 --> 00:00:58.240 That is a nonprofit that helps families follow Jesus in everyday life. 00:00:58.399 --> 00:01:08.719 They host the Intentional Parents Podcast, sharing honest stories and practical wisdom from raising their four kids, ages 16 to 7, one of whom is here with us. 00:01:09.120 --> 00:01:17.680 Brooke also hosts the Intentional Fatherhood Podcast with Justin Early, and he's the author of Sowing a Hidden Seed, a daily prayer devotional for parents. 00:01:17.840 --> 00:01:21.359 They speak around the world on spiritual formation in the family. 00:01:21.519 --> 00:01:24.799 Unfortunately, Elizabeth is homesick today with their girls. 00:01:24.959 --> 00:01:30.239 Uh, they got a nasty case of the flu going around, so please uh think about her and remember her in your prayers today. 00:01:30.319 --> 00:01:33.599 Uh so Brooke is uh here by himself with his oldest son, Duke. 00:01:33.680 --> 00:01:35.359 Uh so please welcome Brooke. 00:01:35.439 --> 00:01:37.200 Give him an amazing awakening welcome. 00:01:37.280 --> 00:01:38.319 Thank you, guys. 00:01:40.719 --> 00:01:41.920 Thank you, sir. 00:01:43.200 --> 00:01:53.680 So the first service, he accidentally said 17 down to six, and my son bet me five dollars that he would say it again, and you said it the right way and made me five dollars more wealthy. 00:01:53.920 --> 00:01:54.400 Thank you. 00:01:54.560 --> 00:01:57.120 I don't know how you feel about gambling, but that's what's happening. 00:01:57.359 --> 00:02:00.159 Um good to see you all this morning. 00:02:00.239 --> 00:02:00.959 My name's Brooke. 00:02:01.040 --> 00:02:02.400 Uh, we're actually from Bend Oregon. 00:02:02.480 --> 00:02:06.959 Uh primarily Portland is where we have spent most of our time in Los Angeles, but we live in Bend, Oregon now. 00:02:07.040 --> 00:02:09.199 If you've heard of that place, it's a fun spot. 00:02:09.360 --> 00:02:11.120 Um, and I'm honored to be here. 00:02:11.199 --> 00:02:16.960 Elizabeth is so sad to not be here with you, and she just sends her love and says, please just know that she'll be back soon. 00:02:17.199 --> 00:02:25.199 So um, we are excited to get into this last uh week of the series that you've been in called The Dysfunctional Family of God. 00:02:25.439 --> 00:02:26.879 And I just want to start with a story. 00:02:27.039 --> 00:02:28.800 Any story people, anybody? 00:02:28.960 --> 00:02:29.520 One person. 00:02:29.599 --> 00:02:31.840 This is gonna be a long morning if we're gonna do this, okay? 00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:34.319 Any story people, one more time, I'll give you one more opportunity. 00:02:34.479 --> 00:02:35.360 Great, you love stories. 00:02:35.520 --> 00:02:35.759 Good. 00:02:35.840 --> 00:02:36.479 Me too. 00:02:36.639 --> 00:02:43.759 Um I'll never forget the time I had a dysfunctional travel situation, which honestly gave me more insights in my family dynamic than anything else. 00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:52.560 Uh, I was flying to Michigan for a speaking engagement, and man, I was prayed up, I was ready, I was excited to see what the spirit might do. 00:02:52.639 --> 00:02:54.639 And for the weekend ahead, I was just very positive. 00:02:54.719 --> 00:02:56.000 Where are my positive people at? 00:02:56.159 --> 00:02:57.360 Obnoxiously positive. 00:02:57.439 --> 00:02:58.000 There you are. 00:02:58.319 --> 00:02:59.759 Just like this is going well. 00:02:59.919 --> 00:03:02.319 I'm gonna make sure, I'm gonna force this to go well. 00:03:02.479 --> 00:03:04.879 I just had the best attitude, I was ready to go. 00:03:05.039 --> 00:03:12.240 So I get on the plane, things are going well, and it's in that awkward moment of the flight when it's like, I know it's gonna land soon, and they're gonna say you can't use the bathroom. 00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:16.479 And I'm just right on that edge where I'm like, I don't want to get, I don't want to have to go to the bathroom, but not be able to go. 00:03:16.639 --> 00:03:21.120 So I just decide I get up, I'm standing in line, and a lot of people decided to do the same thing. 00:03:21.280 --> 00:03:31.919 So I'm in a queue of people, a guy comes behind me, and all of a sudden, as I'm standing there minding my own business, I just feel this like body like fall on me, and I'm like, what is going on? 00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:36.400 So I turn around, and the guy behind me is just slowly passing out and he's falling on me. 00:03:36.479 --> 00:03:46.879 So I just turn around and grab him and just go down to the ground, and I'm holding this 50-year-old man who I've never known in my arms, and he comes to and he looks back, he's like, hi. 00:03:47.199 --> 00:03:50.639 And I was like, hey, buddy, like I don't, I'm sorry, like I you fell on me. 00:03:50.719 --> 00:03:51.120 I don't know. 00:03:51.280 --> 00:03:52.400 So I said, Is there a doctor? 00:03:52.479 --> 00:03:54.319 And the gal sitting right next to him said, I'm a doctor. 00:03:54.479 --> 00:03:55.919 Turns out he just had low blood sugar. 00:03:56.000 --> 00:03:56.960 He was okay. 00:03:57.919 --> 00:03:58.560 That was fine. 00:03:58.639 --> 00:03:59.680 I was like, this is great. 00:03:59.759 --> 00:04:01.759 I have a good story to tell my wife when I land. 00:04:01.840 --> 00:04:04.879 I have a great, this is great content in the communication space. 00:04:04.960 --> 00:04:06.400 I love it, I'll share it, right? 00:04:06.639 --> 00:04:09.759 So I do the weekend, it was a great spirit-filled weekend. 00:04:09.919 --> 00:04:11.199 We end up going uh back. 00:04:11.280 --> 00:04:14.000 I'm I was by myself, so I'm I head back to the airport. 00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:18.399 I'm tired, I'm exhausted after a weekend, but but honestly, still very positive. 00:04:18.560 --> 00:04:20.079 Again, we're my positive people. 00:04:20.240 --> 00:04:20.560 Yes. 00:04:20.720 --> 00:04:21.839 I was very positive. 00:04:22.079 --> 00:04:33.199 And I get to the gate, the gate agent, very sweet gal, trying to be sweet, just basically comes on and says, uh, hey, just want to let you know that we can't find one of the flight attendants for the flight. 00:04:33.439 --> 00:04:37.759 Turns out she's checked into the airport, she's just not at the gate, and we can't find her. 00:04:37.920 --> 00:04:38.879 I didn't know this could happen. 00:04:39.040 --> 00:04:40.160 Did anyone know this could happen? 00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:43.759 Turns out you can't get on the flight until they're all accounted for and they're all on the flight. 00:04:43.839 --> 00:04:46.800 So she said, just hang tight, it'll be brief, we'll find her. 00:04:46.959 --> 00:04:52.160 An hour goes by, two hours go by, and I'm losing some of my positivity at this point. 00:04:52.399 --> 00:04:55.600 Three hours go by, and they finally find this gal. 00:04:55.839 --> 00:05:00.240 I don't know what she was doing, and people like literally booed her when she walked onto the plane. 00:05:00.399 --> 00:05:02.720 I was like, you guys, she's gonna like be serving you food. 00:05:02.879 --> 00:05:04.240 She are you kidding? 00:05:04.480 --> 00:05:06.000 Anyway, she gets on the plane. 00:05:06.079 --> 00:05:10.480 I'm still being positive, thinking there's a good chance I could still make my connecting flight and make it home tonight. 00:05:10.560 --> 00:05:14.000 So I get I get on the plane, things are going okay. 00:05:14.240 --> 00:05:18.639 There's this family sitting in front of me, very sweet people, but I could see they were having a family moment. 00:05:18.720 --> 00:05:19.680 Any dysfunctional family. 00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:20.560 Don't raise your hand. 00:05:20.639 --> 00:05:21.839 We don't have to raise our hands. 00:05:22.000 --> 00:05:23.360 Uh they were having a moment. 00:05:23.519 --> 00:05:32.319 There was a 13-year-old son, and the parents were obviously frustrated at the kid, and the kid's getting up, and he gets into the aisle, and I'm like, I'm kind of like reading all the body language, thinking, there's something weird. 00:05:32.480 --> 00:05:44.639 So I take out my headphones and I'm listening, and the mom's like, I told you not to eat so much candy, and he's like, Mom! And then he just releases all this stuff out of his mouth onto the floor and throws up everywhere onto the floor. 00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:50.639 And I don't know if this is gonna make you queasy or whatever, but like splatter is a word that I would use in this situation as I was sitting right next to him. 00:05:50.720 --> 00:05:53.040 I was wearing shorts, I could feel it all. 00:05:54.160 --> 00:05:56.639 It was a moment that I was like, I don't even know. 00:05:56.720 --> 00:05:57.680 I'm gonna kill this kid. 00:05:57.759 --> 00:05:59.920 Like, I don't, I don't, this is terrible. 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:00.800 This is the worst. 00:06:00.959 --> 00:06:03.600 Still trying to stay really positive, friends, still trying. 00:06:03.839 --> 00:06:07.120 And I'm thinking, this is an even better story, right? 00:06:07.199 --> 00:06:08.000 This is even better. 00:06:08.160 --> 00:06:11.199 So I have this uh situation I have to get cleaned up from. 00:06:11.279 --> 00:06:12.319 It's a whole thing. 00:06:12.639 --> 00:06:15.199 We land, I miss my flight by five minutes. 00:06:15.360 --> 00:06:21.040 So I have to do that thing that everyone has to do when they miss their flight, and they run to the counter to try to get a hotel and get their flight rebooked. 00:06:21.120 --> 00:06:22.079 You know what I'm talking about? 00:06:22.319 --> 00:06:25.759 200 people had that decision before me and got in line. 00:06:25.839 --> 00:06:28.639 And so I'm standing there thinking, there's no way I'm going anywhere tonight. 00:06:28.720 --> 00:06:31.279 So I make the decision, I'm like, I'm gonna beat all this stuff. 00:06:31.360 --> 00:06:33.360 I'm gonna, I'm just gonna get a hotel for the night. 00:06:33.439 --> 00:06:34.319 I'm not even gonna fight this. 00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:37.360 I'll get on another plane, I'll get online, I'll get a ticket for the morning. 00:06:37.600 --> 00:06:38.160 So I do that. 00:06:38.319 --> 00:06:41.360 I Uber to a hotel and I think, how can I redeem this hard moment? 00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:42.319 Anyone ever been there? 00:06:42.480 --> 00:06:43.120 Like, this is bad. 00:06:43.199 --> 00:06:45.439 How do I positively work through this? 00:06:45.600 --> 00:06:51.360 I decided, well, I'll order some dinner because I hadn't had anything that day, so I just decided to, you know, Uber Eats or something. 00:06:51.519 --> 00:06:56.959 Um, I'll just get all this stuff that's not mine cleaned off of me, and then I'll just eat a meal, I'll go to bed, we'll be fine, right? 00:06:57.040 --> 00:06:57.680 That was my hope. 00:06:57.759 --> 00:06:58.480 That was my idea. 00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:00.240 I get the text, the wonderful text. 00:07:00.319 --> 00:07:01.439 It says, Your food has arrived. 00:07:01.519 --> 00:07:03.839 It sends a photo of the food outside my door. 00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:07.279 I open my door, there's no food, there's just nothing there. 00:07:07.360 --> 00:07:09.120 I was like, this person's a liar. 00:07:09.279 --> 00:07:10.160 What is happening? 00:07:10.399 --> 00:07:13.279 So I go down to the lobby, and the person said, No, we don't have any food. 00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:17.519 So I call the driver and said, Hey, I know you said you delivered my food, but truly there's no food there. 00:07:17.680 --> 00:07:19.360 And he's like, Well, I gave you your food. 00:07:19.439 --> 00:07:20.399 And I was like, What? 00:07:20.560 --> 00:07:24.160 And he said, I walked into the lobby, I saw this girl, I said, Is your name Brooke? 00:07:24.399 --> 00:07:27.600 She said yes, and I handed her the food, and that's what's that. 00:07:27.680 --> 00:07:31.040 I was like, I'm a man! Like, what do you can you not hear my voice? 00:07:31.120 --> 00:07:31.680 I'm not a woman. 00:07:31.759 --> 00:07:32.560 What are you talking about? 00:07:32.720 --> 00:07:36.399 My parents named me Brooke, and this has been my lot in life this whole time. 00:07:36.560 --> 00:07:39.120 Um, but he gives my food away to someone else. 00:07:39.199 --> 00:07:42.800 So then I have to make this tragic decision at 12 a.m., 12 35. 00:07:43.360 --> 00:07:44.639 What am I gonna do for food? 00:07:44.720 --> 00:07:49.680 I have no car, uh, and I'm thinking the only thing that's walkable is Taco Bell. 00:07:49.759 --> 00:07:50.879 Taco Bell at one in the morning. 00:07:50.959 --> 00:07:55.839 So I find myself in Seattle, 12 45 at night, walking to a Taco Bell. 00:07:56.000 --> 00:08:00.319 Once I get there, they're they close the the door and they're saying, You can't come in, we're closing up. 00:08:00.399 --> 00:08:02.079 And I was like, please, I need food. 00:08:02.240 --> 00:08:08.720 I can't, if I could tell you the day I've had, and he said, No, you can't you can't actually come in, but what you can do is go through the drive-thru. 00:08:08.879 --> 00:08:10.160 I said, I don't have a car. 00:08:10.399 --> 00:08:12.720 And he said, You can just walk. 00:08:13.279 --> 00:08:20.720 So all of a sudden I proceed behind the car, and I'm standing there as a human, and there's a car behind me. 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:22.959 You get the picture. 00:08:23.120 --> 00:08:26.319 It was a very awkward, uncomfortable moment, the whole time just like waving. 00:08:26.399 --> 00:08:31.759 Hey, sorry, I know your headlights are right on my backside, just like I gotta, uh, whatever. 00:08:32.000 --> 00:08:38.240 I order the food, and then they ask me to stand on the other side of the uh window where you get your food. 00:08:38.399 --> 00:08:41.840 And I'm standing there in that moment thinking, what have I what have I done? 00:08:42.000 --> 00:08:43.039 What is my life? 00:08:43.279 --> 00:08:49.039 How have I gotten to this place in life that I'm standing in a talk about desperate outside? 00:08:49.200 --> 00:08:52.000 I mean, people are driving by, like, is he houseless? 00:08:52.320 --> 00:08:53.120 Is he gonna kill me? 00:08:53.279 --> 00:08:55.519 Like, why is that guy standing there so awkwardly? 00:08:55.759 --> 00:09:02.480 This was my life, and this was honestly one of the best visuals I had into family dynamics in a long, long time. 00:09:02.720 --> 00:09:06.399 And dysfunctional family, because man, how many moments are we like that? 00:09:06.559 --> 00:09:14.159 We're frustrated, we're inconvenienced, people are, you know, releasing fluid on you, anger, uh, someone's stealing your food. 00:09:14.320 --> 00:09:17.840 There's a person that's always going to Taco Bell at 1 a.m., you know who you are. 00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:21.360 Uh, your family can just be really interesting. 00:09:21.600 --> 00:09:28.159 But I want to highlight today that God doesn't avoid dysfunctional families, he actually builds his kingdoms through them. 00:09:28.399 --> 00:09:30.240 If you're an amen church, that's what you say. 00:09:30.480 --> 00:09:30.799 All right. 00:09:30.960 --> 00:09:32.399 He builds his kingdom through them. 00:09:32.639 --> 00:09:33.200 Amen. 00:09:33.440 --> 00:09:35.519 Oh, this is gonna be a long morning again. 00:09:35.679 --> 00:09:41.519 So if you're here and your family is a little messy, I just want to say you're in really good company. 00:09:41.919 --> 00:09:42.960 Mine is too. 00:09:43.279 --> 00:09:52.720 And today we're gonna talk about how Jesus meets you right there and he actually helps you break those cycles and build something new and become people of healing in God's family. 00:09:53.039 --> 00:09:56.799 As I said, you're wrapping up a series called The Dysfunctional Family of God. 00:09:57.039 --> 00:10:00.639 And when Ryan kicked off the series, he asked a very important question. 00:10:00.720 --> 00:10:05.360 And if you don't remember it or you weren't here to hear that question, let me just remind you what it was. 00:10:05.519 --> 00:10:14.320 He asked this important question: How do we break free from patterns and cycles of dysfunction in our families and really in our own lives? 00:10:14.480 --> 00:10:16.159 So, how do we actually break free? 00:10:16.320 --> 00:10:19.279 And truly, that is a brave and needed question. 00:10:19.679 --> 00:10:22.159 But I I kind of don't think it's the only problem. 00:10:22.320 --> 00:10:34.240 Because to add to the complexity of that question, as believers, we are called a family, and that means that not only do you have your own family of origin, you have your own dysfunction, I mean the family of God has its own as well. 00:10:34.720 --> 00:10:38.399 So, what I hope to do today is ground our time, Galatians chapter six. 00:10:38.559 --> 00:10:53.600 The whole chapter actually focuses on those in the family of faith, but I just want to highlight one verse that gives us hope that the power of the Spirit can give us something new and fresh to be able to live in to this beautiful dynamic of having beautiful, healthy relationships. 00:10:53.679 --> 00:10:55.840 Not perfect, but better than they are now. 00:10:56.080 --> 00:11:07.759 Galatians 6 10 says this therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially those who belong to the family of believers. 00:11:09.120 --> 00:11:16.639 As we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those in the dysfunctional family of God. 00:11:17.200 --> 00:11:25.679 It's a beautiful call, and it's beautiful in theory, but man, that is hard to live out in everyday reality when you have certain dynamics. 00:11:25.840 --> 00:11:26.159 So, how? 00:11:26.240 --> 00:11:27.279 How do we do this? 00:11:27.519 --> 00:11:34.639 Uh recently I was spending time with a guy named Mark Batterson, he's an author and a pastor, and he's just really good at making complex things very simple. 00:11:34.879 --> 00:11:36.399 He's a master of one-liners. 00:11:36.480 --> 00:11:40.480 We're having lunch, and he just had something slip out of his mouth, and I immediately had my note app. 00:11:40.559 --> 00:11:41.440 I'm like taking this note. 00:11:41.519 --> 00:11:42.639 I was like, that's so helpful. 00:11:42.720 --> 00:11:44.080 And he simply said this. 00:11:44.399 --> 00:11:52.320 He said, Brooke, often we ask God to do supernatural things, but you have to remember it's God's job to do the super, but it's our job to do the natural. 00:11:52.879 --> 00:11:56.159 It's a partnership, it's truly important. 00:11:56.399 --> 00:12:03.200 Yes, I would say, arguably, in my family, and this is the place I experience it the most, I need God's supernatural help. 00:12:03.759 --> 00:12:06.639 I need that in my closest relationships. 00:12:06.720 --> 00:12:09.279 I feel the need for the power of the Spirit. 00:12:10.000 --> 00:12:19.279 So, a question for all of us today: how do we actually create a space where our families can go from dysfunction to a better resemblance of health in some way? 00:12:19.679 --> 00:12:25.600 How can God's grace and his mercy uh help grow and guide our closest relationships? 00:12:25.759 --> 00:12:32.480 What I want to do today is highlight four things that God invites us into for healthy, flourishing relationships. 00:12:32.720 --> 00:12:44.559 This is for your family, this is for your friends, if you have roommates, this is for your roommates, this is for you if you're a child and you have uh if you're an adult and you have uh parents, or if you're a child and you have parents, this is for every single relationship to flourish and grow. 00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:50.240 And we have to highlight that what is needed in relationships right now versus other times is different. 00:12:50.480 --> 00:12:55.200 And so, what I want to talk about is four essentials for a flourishing family. 00:12:55.360 --> 00:13:00.960 What are the things that we can partner with the Spirit in to redeem those broken cycles in our family? 00:13:01.200 --> 00:13:06.720 And for that to happen, and where I want to follow for the rest of the time is these four things. 00:13:06.879 --> 00:13:08.480 Uh, we want to talk about your work. 00:13:08.799 --> 00:13:14.799 Your family's gonna need your forgiveness, your family's gonna need your attention, and your family is gonna need your blessing. 00:13:14.960 --> 00:13:17.679 So we're gonna work through these four for the rest of our time. 00:13:17.840 --> 00:13:18.960 So, first your work. 00:13:19.120 --> 00:13:27.840 Uh, when I say work, I'm not talking about your literal work, but rather your inner work, your apprenticeship to Jesus, becoming more like him. 00:13:28.240 --> 00:13:35.679 It's the healing of what some authors call your shadow side, that part of you that has specific bents towards sin. 00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:39.600 You know what they are, and if you don't know, just ask your friend or your spouse, they'll tell you pretty quick. 00:13:39.840 --> 00:13:47.279 They are the parts of you that you don't really love and they affect people and actually bother them a lot more than we want them to. 00:13:47.600 --> 00:13:50.559 I'm also talking about your wounds from your family of origin. 00:13:50.639 --> 00:13:58.000 These are the things that uh all of a sudden we overact or overreact in some moments, or we withdraw when these parts are poked. 00:13:58.480 --> 00:14:04.639 Now, if you are a parent in the room and if you've been a parent for a while, you can attest to the fact that parenting brings up your wounds. 00:14:04.799 --> 00:14:06.080 Parents, can we agree with this? 00:14:06.399 --> 00:14:07.919 It brings up those wounds. 00:14:08.159 --> 00:14:16.559 The areas that you weren't parented well, or maybe the people that hurt you, maybe the ways that you've coped, our tendency towards sin. 00:14:17.200 --> 00:14:21.440 Now, I often feel like Paul, I think Paul said it the best in Romans 7. 00:14:21.600 --> 00:14:23.279 He just simply had this great verse. 00:14:23.519 --> 00:14:25.440 I do not understand what I do. 00:14:25.919 --> 00:14:30.080 For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate to do. 00:14:31.120 --> 00:14:42.000 There's a lot of times when I want to do the right thing, but there's so much seemingly working against me, so much dysfunction in my own story, in my own life, that I end up doing what I hate to do. 00:14:42.639 --> 00:14:44.159 Anyone else know what I'm talking about? 00:14:44.960 --> 00:14:51.519 And we can know, and it can't be stated enough, that Jesus is involved in this process and he wants to transform you. 00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:59.039 And truly, friends, that is such a much more compelling faith than a list of rules and reasons to do and not do something. 00:14:59.679 --> 00:15:02.799 Jesus is a relational character in our story. 00:15:02.960 --> 00:15:05.519 He's a God who loves and cares in deep ways. 00:15:06.480 --> 00:15:12.320 Now, for some of you, if you're being honest, um, it's hard to talk about your own anger. 00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:16.720 It's hard to talk about your doubt, it's hard to talk about your fear or your apathy. 00:15:17.279 --> 00:15:24.320 And it might be even hard to talk about how Jesus is revealing himself to you, but your closest relationships need you to talk about those things. 00:15:24.799 --> 00:15:26.480 Need you to open up and be honest. 00:15:26.720 --> 00:15:28.799 Because, friends, we all experience that. 00:15:28.960 --> 00:15:35.120 But if we don't do the work, we will never be able to experience some of this beauty that Jesus invites us into. 00:15:35.759 --> 00:15:37.200 Jesus is slowly changing us. 00:15:37.279 --> 00:15:40.159 Uh, Paul Tripp said this of parenting specifically. 00:15:40.240 --> 00:15:45.360 If you are a parent, parenting doesn't make you holy, but it shows you how much you need to be made holy. 00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:47.120 I so agree. 00:15:47.279 --> 00:15:53.519 Really close relationships with those you love most will bring up every unresolved issue in your soul. 00:15:54.159 --> 00:15:55.360 And it's not to shame you. 00:15:55.519 --> 00:16:00.000 Like if you feel like those people closest to you are bringing up this stuff in you, it's not to shame you, it's actually to heal you. 00:16:00.559 --> 00:16:02.240 It's an invitation from the Spirit. 00:16:02.720 --> 00:16:06.879 Revelation 3.20, just a great example of exactly what we're talking about. 00:16:07.039 --> 00:16:08.559 It says this, God speaking here. 00:16:08.639 --> 00:16:10.960 Here I am, I stand at the door, and what happens? 00:16:11.120 --> 00:16:11.840 I'm knocking. 00:16:12.639 --> 00:16:17.519 If anyone hears my voice, opens the door, I'm gonna come and eat with that person and they with me. 00:16:18.720 --> 00:16:21.759 The work that we're all invited into is just that. 00:16:21.840 --> 00:16:25.120 It's an invitation from God to go on the deeper journey. 00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:29.600 God doesn't force us to heal, but he partners with us. 00:16:30.879 --> 00:16:32.879 Now, one more time to the parents in the room. 00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:42.240 Uh the Swiss psychologist and psychiatrist Carl Jung said that the greatest enemy to a child is the unlived life of the parent. 00:16:42.720 --> 00:16:43.919 I'm gonna say that one more time. 00:16:44.159 --> 00:16:48.240 The greatest enemy to a child is the unlived life of the parent. 00:16:50.559 --> 00:16:58.639 What you choose to ignore, sweep under the rug, and run from can become your child's greatest enemy. 00:16:59.679 --> 00:17:04.640 And this act absolutely includes those of us who have adult children in the room. 00:17:05.200 --> 00:17:06.960 And this concept is all over the scripture. 00:17:07.039 --> 00:17:09.519 If you're here and you're like, hey, listen, I'm who I am. 00:17:09.680 --> 00:17:13.119 I don't really need to know about all this stuff, all this emotional mumbo jumbo. 00:17:13.200 --> 00:17:14.240 This isn't even biblical. 00:17:14.319 --> 00:17:16.240 I just want to say you're dead wrong. 00:17:16.559 --> 00:17:20.240 It's all over the scripture that we actually need to know what's going on inside of us. 00:17:20.400 --> 00:17:21.279 God guides us in this. 00:17:21.359 --> 00:17:23.599 Let me just give you three quick verses for highlighting. 00:17:23.839 --> 00:17:25.440 2 Corinthians 13, 5. 00:17:25.680 --> 00:17:28.720 It says this test yourself to see if you are in faith. 00:17:28.799 --> 00:17:30.480 In literally two words, very simple. 00:17:30.799 --> 00:17:31.680 Examine yourself. 00:17:32.319 --> 00:17:34.319 It's your job to examine what's going on. 00:17:35.039 --> 00:17:36.480 Uh Lamentations 3. 00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:42.000 Let's take a good look at the way we're living and reorder our lives under the way of God. 00:17:42.559 --> 00:17:44.960 That's that idea that you're how are you thinking? 00:17:45.200 --> 00:17:45.920 What are you watching? 00:17:46.079 --> 00:17:47.039 What are you intaking? 00:17:47.119 --> 00:17:48.079 How are you speaking? 00:17:48.799 --> 00:17:55.359 Lastly, and I love this in the amplified version, but each one of us must carefully scrutinize his or her own works. 00:17:55.440 --> 00:18:00.400 And that literally means this examining your actions, your attitudes, and your behaviors. 00:18:01.039 --> 00:18:09.680 These three things that we are actually responsible before God to say, what are my actions and how are my actions impacting those closest to me? 00:18:10.079 --> 00:18:11.839 How are my attitudes impacting them? 00:18:12.079 --> 00:18:15.519 Some of you are in this room and your issue isn't any of the other things, but attitude. 00:18:15.759 --> 00:18:16.000 Right? 00:18:16.160 --> 00:18:18.640 Like we have our behaviors, we have our things to cope. 00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:21.039 Now for a personal story. 00:18:21.119 --> 00:18:22.640 Again, where are my story people at? 00:18:22.799 --> 00:18:23.279 You're there. 00:18:23.359 --> 00:18:23.680 Thank you. 00:18:23.839 --> 00:18:24.960 Thank you for your engagement. 00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:31.920 Um, personally, I fall in that ever-growing category of someone who experienced a lot of trauma as a child. 00:18:32.160 --> 00:18:34.079 Now, I'm not alone in this room. 00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:36.799 There's no way in a room this size that that would be the case. 00:18:36.960 --> 00:18:41.759 But I came into adulthood with some serious emotional wounds and limbs. 00:18:41.920 --> 00:18:45.920 I didn't know how to be a good husband, let alone an emotionally stable human. 00:18:46.160 --> 00:18:52.240 I think it's important to note that I got married at the age of 21 when my prefrontal cortex was not fully cooked, right? 00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:53.599 Wasn't there yet. 00:18:53.759 --> 00:18:55.279 That's a crazy thing to think about. 00:18:55.440 --> 00:18:58.319 The male brain, 26, everyone, that's bizarre. 00:18:58.480 --> 00:18:59.680 That's a long time. 00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:05.519 To ask my wife to get married, I took her up into a hot air balloon and said, please marry me, or I will jump out. 00:19:05.759 --> 00:19:07.200 That's not an exaggeration. 00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:08.079 You can ask my son. 00:19:08.240 --> 00:19:09.200 It did happen. 00:19:09.519 --> 00:19:13.200 He wasn't there, by the way, because we did things in order, right? 00:19:14.000 --> 00:19:15.119 Marriage before children. 00:19:15.200 --> 00:19:18.960 Anyway, the point is, like, my brain wasn't fully developed. 00:19:19.039 --> 00:19:26.079 And I remember one day I was talking, which is code for arguing with Elizabeth, and I was recognizing that I wasn't just gonna change. 00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:28.559 Like this stuff wasn't just gonna zap away. 00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:38.559 The way I processed the world, understood God, and all my relationships had serious fractures, and I was being given pretty consistent feedback that who I was needed to be different. 00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:44.240 So, with a lot of insecurity and fear and humiliation at first, I actually started to see a therapist. 00:19:44.559 --> 00:19:46.640 And I'll never forget my first session. 00:19:46.720 --> 00:19:56.240 I walk into a very small Portland brick office, and I go and I sit in this chair, and it looked like this chair had been there forever, and that a million people had sat in this chair. 00:19:56.319 --> 00:19:58.319 It looked like a disease chair, and he's like, please sit. 00:19:58.400 --> 00:19:59.839 And I'm like, this is not inviting. 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:08.799 And I just sit down, I'm like, oh, just you know, and he he skips all the niceties because he had my paperwork, he already knew my name, and he just simply said, So what's going on? 00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:16.000 Now I have no idea what happened and what unlocked in my soul in those five words when he said, What's going on? 00:20:16.160 --> 00:20:24.000 But I started to proceed to tell everything of my whole life, every bad, crazy, good, hard thing ever in my entire life. 00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:28.799 I shared everything with this man for 55 minutes of the hour-long session. 00:20:29.039 --> 00:20:34.880 And what was so bizarre to me was the whole time he listened intently. 00:20:35.519 --> 00:20:39.599 And at the end, I said, Well, I should probably stop talking now. 00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:42.960 And he just kind of looks down and he's quiet. 00:20:43.279 --> 00:20:46.079 And I was like, Oh no, I broke my therapist. 00:20:46.319 --> 00:20:49.680 Like, like I knew it was bad, but dude, give me some feedback. 00:20:49.759 --> 00:20:50.960 This thing's real bad. 00:20:51.279 --> 00:20:56.720 And he just looked up almost with a tear in his eye, and he just said, I can't believe what you've gone through. 00:20:56.880 --> 00:20:58.720 I can't believe you're standing after all that. 00:20:58.799 --> 00:21:01.279 I can't believe you're doing as well as you are. 00:21:01.599 --> 00:21:09.359 And it was the first time for me that I'd been so listened to and felt such empathy and understanding towards the pain and the trauma that I experienced. 00:21:09.680 --> 00:21:16.960 I don't believe he said more than 50 words that morning, but I gotta tell you, it was enough for me to go week after week after week and to do the work. 00:21:17.359 --> 00:21:19.519 And I was committed to show up and do the work. 00:21:19.599 --> 00:21:25.519 And we always joke, because a handful of people in our family see this man, and we always joke like he's a mixture of Jesus, Mr. 00:21:25.599 --> 00:21:26.640 Rogers, and Yoda. 00:21:27.039 --> 00:21:27.920 And he really is. 00:21:28.079 --> 00:21:29.839 And he's like 75, he looks like Mr. 00:21:29.920 --> 00:21:31.119 Rogers, he's a great dude. 00:21:31.759 --> 00:21:39.039 And for me, therapy was one of the many things that I had to start doing with the Holy Spirit and unraveling the knots in my soul. 00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:41.440 And it was a partnership. 00:21:41.920 --> 00:21:46.000 The Holy Spirit used this man to help me see life as it really was. 00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:51.519 And and I've learned that I need other people in my life to help me see things clear clearly. 00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:53.839 Just like when you go to the optometrist, right? 00:21:53.920 --> 00:21:56.640 And you're sitting there and they're just lens after lens after lens. 00:21:56.880 --> 00:21:59.359 They keep putting those lenses in front of you until it becomes clear. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.039 Do that for you. 00:22:01.200 --> 00:22:03.359 They help you with the power of the Spirit. 00:22:03.519 --> 00:22:06.720 And friends, we can't heal what we can't see. 00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:12.000 If you don't think it's a problem, you're not going to pray for a problem that you don't think you have. 00:22:12.400 --> 00:22:17.759 We need to know that actually how we're moving through the world is not helpful if it isn't, in fact. 00:22:17.920 --> 00:22:20.240 And it's our first step to healing is seeing. 00:22:20.319 --> 00:22:24.960 And if and if you don't believe me, we're almost done with this point, but think of the alternative. 00:22:25.519 --> 00:22:31.279 If you don't do this work that you're invited into, you may never experience the freedom that Jesus offers. 00:22:31.519 --> 00:22:40.319 And because you cannot pass on what you do not possess, we are at risk of never being able to give the same gift to those people you love the most. 00:22:40.880 --> 00:22:47.759 If you don't do the work, you won't be able to see the powerful healing that Jesus invites us to. 00:22:48.640 --> 00:22:48.960 Dr. 00:22:49.039 --> 00:22:50.720 Charlie Self was here a few weeks ago. 00:22:50.880 --> 00:22:53.599 He said, God is not in the self-improvement business. 00:22:53.759 --> 00:22:55.839 He is in the recreation business. 00:22:56.079 --> 00:22:57.279 Yes and amen. 00:22:57.519 --> 00:22:58.559 He absolutely is. 00:22:58.799 --> 00:23:08.000 So wherever you're at on your healing journey, I want you to invite the Holy Spirit to be like a flashlight in the cave of your soul and just ask, what needs highlighting? 00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:09.920 You know, in a cave, you've ever been in a cave? 00:23:10.079 --> 00:23:11.440 Any cave culture people? 00:23:11.599 --> 00:23:12.960 Yeah, I've been in one. 00:23:13.279 --> 00:23:15.839 Terrifying, by the way, FYI, but so dark. 00:23:15.920 --> 00:23:20.559 And you turn a flashlight on, and all of a sudden everything is illuminated and you can see clearly. 00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:21.599 It's that drastic. 00:23:21.759 --> 00:23:24.880 We want to ask the Holy Spirit to do that in us. 00:23:25.039 --> 00:23:28.160 So if I could give you some homework, actually, that's a terrible word. 00:23:28.240 --> 00:23:30.319 Many people have a trigger warning around that. 00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:31.839 So let's not use the word homework. 00:23:31.920 --> 00:23:32.880 I want to give you a practice. 00:23:32.960 --> 00:23:33.759 Does that sound okay? 00:23:33.920 --> 00:23:35.359 A practice for this week. 00:23:35.599 --> 00:23:50.480 Whenever you have a moment to slow down, to quiet, wherever that moment is in the day, in the week for you, I just want to encourage you to pause to carve out just a moment, 10, 15, 20 minutes if possible, and allow yourself to be curious about your own story. 00:23:50.720 --> 00:23:55.759 Each of you have a deep story, some of pain, some of blessing, some of beauty, usually all mixed together. 00:23:55.920 --> 00:23:58.000 And just bring one question to the Father. 00:23:58.160 --> 00:24:00.000 Just simply sit and ask one question. 00:24:00.319 --> 00:24:05.519 Where are the areas I need to experience your freedom and your healing? 00:24:06.720 --> 00:24:07.920 And that's it. 00:24:08.400 --> 00:24:09.519 Open the scriptures. 00:24:09.599 --> 00:24:10.319 Let him speak. 00:24:10.480 --> 00:24:13.440 I promise you, he's very interested in encouraging you. 00:24:14.319 --> 00:24:23.680 The second thing that all of our families need to flourish in this moment in time, especially now, and consistently and continually, is your forgiveness. 00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:30.640 Friends, we have got to create an ecosystem of forgiveness in our homes built into the very core of our family system. 00:24:31.279 --> 00:24:32.720 Now, let me give you some truth. 00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:34.640 You are going to mess up in some way. 00:24:34.799 --> 00:24:36.240 Isn't that encouraging? 00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:37.920 Your kids are gonna have issues with you. 00:24:38.079 --> 00:24:38.799 Did you know that? 00:24:38.960 --> 00:24:40.079 You're gonna wound them. 00:24:40.240 --> 00:24:44.880 For those of you who have older kids, they're now telling you how you've wounded them. 00:24:45.599 --> 00:24:48.559 Raising self-aware kids, friends, not for the feints of heart. 00:24:48.799 --> 00:24:50.160 Let me give you an example. 00:24:50.400 --> 00:24:57.920 A few years ago, this was years ago now at this point, I walk into my home after work, it's around 5:30, and the house is calm. 00:24:58.079 --> 00:24:59.039 That's the first thing. 00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:00.720 Like, it's calm. 00:25:00.960 --> 00:25:01.680 What happened? 00:25:01.839 --> 00:25:03.039 Like, it's never calm. 00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:04.079 It was also clean. 00:25:04.240 --> 00:25:06.480 Second thing, I was like, did somebody die? 00:25:06.559 --> 00:25:07.839 That was my first original thought. 00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:08.880 Like, why is this so quiet? 00:25:09.119 --> 00:25:09.920 Why is this so clean? 00:25:10.079 --> 00:25:13.519 And my older kids, my two older kids, said, Hey Debbie, can we talk to you? 00:25:13.599 --> 00:25:16.079 And I was like, Why do I feel like I'm in trouble? 00:25:16.240 --> 00:25:18.160 Like, it's like, come sit in the living room. 00:25:18.240 --> 00:25:19.119 I was like, okay. 00:25:19.279 --> 00:25:21.519 So I come and I sit down in the living room. 00:25:21.680 --> 00:25:26.240 And they literally say, they just gave me, oh, this sandwich of pain. 00:25:26.319 --> 00:25:35.200 They literally just said, So dad, we know you're working a lot, we know you're overwhelmed, we know you're stressed, but the way you're responding to us because of that is really hurting our feelings, and we'd really appreciate it if you'd stop. 00:25:35.279 --> 00:25:39.039 And I was like, What the heck is going on right now? 00:25:39.279 --> 00:25:45.359 And in me, the way I was raised, it was like all the things coming up at me were like, I'm the adult, you do not tell me what to do. 00:25:45.440 --> 00:25:47.759 I you like all that stuff came up. 00:25:47.920 --> 00:25:55.440 And only by the power and the authority of Jesus was I able to not say anything and just go, Oh, okay, yeah, I guess you're right. 00:25:55.599 --> 00:26:01.359 I can work on that, just dying inside because it's so hard when people that are close to you are giving you that feedback. 00:26:01.440 --> 00:26:04.559 You you are going to wound your kids in some way. 00:26:05.519 --> 00:26:10.799 And by you stopping and saying, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I lost my temper with you, I was angry, I took my anger out on you. 00:26:10.880 --> 00:26:11.920 Would you please forgive me? 00:26:12.079 --> 00:26:18.240 These types of things can literally change our world and change those closest to us. 00:26:18.480 --> 00:26:30.640 And I have to highlight, there is so much beauty when we teach our families and really actually walk into this kind of humility and honesty in our homes, it really does cure so much dysfunction. 00:26:30.799 --> 00:26:35.200 Uh, Colossians 3.13, if you haven't heard it, I'll just read part of it for you really quickly. 00:26:35.279 --> 00:26:44.960 It just says, tolerate the weakness of those who are in the family of faith, forgiving one another in the same way you've been forgiven. 00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:57.759 There's a beautiful phrase that therapists and psychologists use that's actually entirely biblical in all forms, and it's this rupture and repair actually build resilience. 00:26:58.319 --> 00:27:01.839 And it's specifically talking about relational resilience. 00:27:02.079 --> 00:27:14.240 Because, friends, we have ruptures on a daily basis in our relationships, sometimes hourly in my situation, but when we're willing to make those quick repairs, we actually cultivate relational resilience in our homes. 00:27:14.319 --> 00:27:18.400 And it helps heal some of the dysfunction, not all of it, but a lot. 00:27:18.640 --> 00:27:21.119 So the next question becomes how do we do it? 00:27:21.279 --> 00:27:25.680 How do we actually become those people who repair well? 00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:35.039 Maybe you are like me and you did not grow up with good models or guides to help you build this type type of culture in your home. 00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:40.720 Um, so at the risk of sounding formulaic, I want to highlight just a few steps of what good repair looks like. 00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:41.359 Can we do that? 00:27:41.519 --> 00:27:42.640 We'll just be very brief. 00:27:42.720 --> 00:27:49.200 And because, you know, this is my life and I'm in ministry, they're all alliterated, so I apologize, but you'll easily remember them. 00:27:49.359 --> 00:27:53.839 So uh, how can we teach our family, our friends, how can we build this into our home? 00:27:54.079 --> 00:27:54.880 Four quick things. 00:27:55.119 --> 00:27:58.240 First, good repair has to do with recognizing. 00:27:58.480 --> 00:27:59.680 You have to recognize. 00:27:59.839 --> 00:28:02.559 This is where we recognize the break in the relationship. 00:28:02.799 --> 00:28:11.039 Some of us are just kind of unaware, we're in our own space, and we might just need to even be aware that you actually did something that hurt somebody else. 00:28:11.279 --> 00:28:13.440 You have to be aware that there's a rupture. 00:28:13.599 --> 00:28:16.000 That's saying things like, hey, wow, I was unkind. 00:28:16.160 --> 00:28:17.359 I shouldn't have said it that way. 00:28:17.519 --> 00:28:19.359 I I'm truly, I'm truly sorry. 00:28:19.599 --> 00:28:20.799 So, first recognize. 00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:22.640 Second, we have responsibility. 00:28:22.880 --> 00:28:26.079 Good repair always has to do with taking responsibility. 00:28:26.240 --> 00:28:31.359 This is where you take responsibility without defensiveness. 00:28:31.599 --> 00:28:32.960 That's hard. 00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:34.480 That is really hard. 00:28:34.720 --> 00:28:40.880 Not this, like, yeah, but you said this, but I did this because like we're all tempted to do it, especially in marriage relationships. 00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:41.839 We all do that. 00:28:41.920 --> 00:28:48.640 But check this out Proverbs 28, great book on wisdom, gives us a piece of wisdom that's really helpful. 00:28:48.880 --> 00:28:59.200 Whoever conceals their sins, doesn't take responsibility, is maybe a different way to say it, does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. 00:29:00.079 --> 00:29:05.119 Confession, not blame, not excuses, that leads to mercy. 00:29:05.440 --> 00:29:07.759 Ownership is powerful, friends. 00:29:07.839 --> 00:29:12.240 And when you own what you did and say, hey, I shouldn't have done that, that is a huge gift. 00:29:12.400 --> 00:29:14.240 Third, we want to relate. 00:29:14.559 --> 00:29:20.079 Man, we have to, good repair has to do with us validating that their situation actually happened. 00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:25.519 This is the picture of trying to be with someone else's emotional world and honoring their experience. 00:29:25.759 --> 00:29:29.839 And I understand that some of you hearing this might go, what does it mean to honor someone's emotional experience? 00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:30.960 This sounds overwhelming. 00:29:31.119 --> 00:29:36.880 It just simply means listening well, saying, trying to understand as much as you can in that moment. 00:29:37.039 --> 00:29:41.279 Trying to say things like, I can imagine that did hurt you, and that makes sense. 00:29:41.519 --> 00:29:46.079 Fourth and lastly, good repair always has to do with re-establishing. 00:29:46.400 --> 00:29:49.759 We have to re-establish safety and trust. 00:29:51.519 --> 00:29:52.640 Beautiful love. 00:29:52.720 --> 00:29:55.039 Uh 1 Peter 4 8 says this about love. 00:29:55.119 --> 00:29:55.599 I love this. 00:29:55.839 --> 00:30:01.119 Above all, love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins. 00:30:01.680 --> 00:30:03.920 This is where we reconnect, we commit. 00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:07.599 So good repair has to do with these four things. 00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:15.519 And I just want to encourage you if you're wanting to step out of dysfunction, which I know you are, but healthy families have repair, and this is what good repair can look like. 00:30:15.680 --> 00:30:18.559 Again, it doesn't have to be perfect, but take this as a framework. 00:30:18.720 --> 00:30:21.279 Begin to step into it, even walk, walk through it. 00:30:21.359 --> 00:30:23.200 It's a very helpful thing with relationships. 00:30:23.440 --> 00:30:28.319 So just two obvious pieces of not homework, but practice for you this week. 00:30:28.559 --> 00:30:32.000 Is there someone in your family that you need to extend forgiveness to? 00:30:32.319 --> 00:30:33.920 Most of us, that's the case. 00:30:34.079 --> 00:30:35.759 We need to extend forgiveness to someone. 00:30:35.839 --> 00:30:40.480 Or secondly, and very similarly, is there someone that you need to ask forgiveness? 00:30:40.799 --> 00:30:42.799 And on this one, there's no need to wait. 00:30:42.880 --> 00:30:45.759 If you're like, maybe I should wait till tomorrow, don't wait. 00:30:46.000 --> 00:30:51.839 Apologize, make it right as quickly as you can, and that creates this beautiful ecosystem. 00:30:52.720 --> 00:30:56.640 The last two are quicker than the first two, so let me give you the la the next one. 00:30:56.799 --> 00:31:00.400 The next thing that all of our relationships need is our attention. 00:31:00.640 --> 00:31:07.359 In our day and age, in this moment in time, we need to be able to give those closest to us our attention. 00:31:07.759 --> 00:31:16.079 French philosopher Simone Ville said, attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity. 00:31:16.880 --> 00:31:19.839 And in today's world, she is absolutely right. 00:31:20.079 --> 00:31:25.279 What's very interesting about this quote, though, is she wrote it in 1902, a very long time ago. 00:31:25.440 --> 00:31:28.240 She was aware that our attention was being pulled. 00:31:28.559 --> 00:31:32.079 Not much anymore is rare and not much is pure. 00:31:32.319 --> 00:31:42.400 But when we give our attention, eye-to-eye attention, man, it is sometimes the most generous thing you will give to your family, your spouse, your friends. 00:31:42.640 --> 00:31:45.200 Undivided attention, friends, is a gift. 00:31:45.359 --> 00:31:51.039 And when you're present, really present, especially if you're a parent, it actually gives you a massive blessing. 00:31:51.119 --> 00:31:52.799 It gives massive blessing to your kids. 00:31:52.960 --> 00:32:08.160 One study on early childhood deprivation found that when kids don't get enough consistent attention, they struggle with executive function, self-regulation, and all of the very important tools that they need for adulthood. 00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:18.240 Some of you are working with people right now that you're really annoyed with, and it was primarily because they just didn't get enough attention as a child from some of their friends or from their parents as an example. 00:32:19.279 --> 00:32:21.680 But may I just encourage you, it is not too late. 00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:26.559 It's beautiful when you can give those closest to you your attention. 00:32:27.599 --> 00:32:37.839 And this holds true even for if you have kids that are quiet or they don't always speak up, your attention becomes the mirror as an example, parents that they look to to see who they are. 00:32:38.319 --> 00:32:44.559 So if you're wondering what you can do today to help your relationships, a few things. 00:32:44.799 --> 00:32:47.599 Look up, slow down, and pay attention. 00:32:48.960 --> 00:32:51.759 Seriously, look up, slow down, and pay attention. 00:32:51.839 --> 00:32:55.440 It is not much more complicated than that to give people our attention. 00:32:55.680 --> 00:32:58.720 And when we do that, it is a huge gift. 00:32:59.759 --> 00:33:03.519 One of the most striking moments in Jesus' life is when he was surrounded. 00:33:03.599 --> 00:33:05.279 You've heard this story many times, I know. 00:33:05.440 --> 00:33:08.160 But he was surrounded by crowds, pressed in on every side. 00:33:08.240 --> 00:33:08.960 You remember the story? 00:33:09.039 --> 00:33:18.559 And a woman simply appears who had been bleeding for 12 years, the scriptures say, and they and then she finally touches his robe, hoping, like just hoping for healing. 00:33:18.880 --> 00:33:24.720 And instead of rushing on, Jesus stops and he just turns and he looks at her. 00:33:25.279 --> 00:33:26.640 He asks a question. 00:33:26.880 --> 00:33:27.839 Who touched me? 00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:28.319 Right? 00:33:28.480 --> 00:33:29.680 You've heard the story. 00:33:29.839 --> 00:33:32.960 And he asks, not out of frustration, but rather out of care. 00:33:33.039 --> 00:33:34.240 He's like, What's happening here? 00:33:34.319 --> 00:33:43.680 And in Luke 8, I love this phrase, it says, Then the woman, he's speaking of here, then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed. 00:33:44.160 --> 00:33:45.920 That line gets me every time. 00:33:46.079 --> 00:33:48.240 She could not go unnoticed. 00:33:48.400 --> 00:33:52.240 She was so desperate to be seen that God saw her in all the ways. 00:33:52.400 --> 00:33:55.119 Jesus gave her his full attention. 00:33:55.200 --> 00:33:57.839 And at that moment, he restored more than her body. 00:33:58.079 --> 00:34:01.119 He restored her dignity, her story, her identity. 00:34:01.279 --> 00:34:03.359 And friends, that is the power of attention. 00:34:03.519 --> 00:34:07.599 It's healing when you give people your attention. 00:34:08.159 --> 00:34:12.639 And so I know it's tempting right here to basically make you feel bad and say, hey, you should never use your phone. 00:34:12.800 --> 00:34:18.000 And the fact that you have a phone is just demonic, and you should probably get a flip phone and like never use technology, right? 00:34:18.159 --> 00:34:19.440 But that's not realistic. 00:34:19.679 --> 00:34:22.320 I want to highlight that this is actually not your fault. 00:34:22.480 --> 00:34:27.199 It's no secret that we are living in an attention crisis and we're constantly distracted. 00:34:27.280 --> 00:34:28.559 But it is not all your fault. 00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:32.320 Journalist Johan Hari wrote this book called Stolen Focus. 00:34:32.480 --> 00:34:35.760 Great book, by the way, if you're wondering about this idea of attention. 00:34:35.920 --> 00:34:42.079 But he just basically highlighted that your attention is being hijacked because we now live in something called the attention economy. 00:34:42.239 --> 00:34:43.119 Many of you know this. 00:34:43.199 --> 00:34:45.039 This is not new news to you. 00:34:45.360 --> 00:34:48.159 But it forces us to stay glued to these screens. 00:34:48.320 --> 00:34:48.960 You know that. 00:34:49.119 --> 00:34:50.880 And your phone could be less addictive. 00:34:50.960 --> 00:34:52.159 This is where I want to make you feel better. 00:34:52.320 --> 00:34:58.000 Your phone could be less addictive, but it's not because it makes people a lot of money to keep it the way it is. 00:34:58.239 --> 00:35:00.559 So it's not just distraction, friends. 00:35:00.639 --> 00:35:02.719 It's designed to do that, you know. 00:35:03.039 --> 00:35:07.519 But we've entered this weird world now, and this is where it gets into our closest relationships. 00:35:07.679 --> 00:35:10.320 We have what experts call now productive leisure. 00:35:10.480 --> 00:35:17.519 And if you've never heard of that term, that's that idea that your rest only matters if it turns a profit for someone else. 00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:22.639 So, for example, you might go home this afternoon and you want to scroll for some downtime. 00:35:23.039 --> 00:35:27.199 And friends, you're not really unwinding in that moment, you're quietly making other people rich. 00:35:27.360 --> 00:35:32.559 You think you're relaxing, but in actuality, you're just being distracted into oblivion. 00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:34.320 That's the crisis. 00:35:34.960 --> 00:35:41.039 Our attention was meant for more sacred things than ads, than algorithms, than endless noise. 00:35:41.760 --> 00:35:43.920 God gives us his attention, friends. 00:35:44.000 --> 00:35:50.639 And if God's giving us his attention, man, what a gift we can pass on to our family and to our closest relationships. 00:35:50.800 --> 00:35:52.159 Matthew 10, 30. 00:35:52.239 --> 00:35:52.960 I love this one. 00:35:53.119 --> 00:35:55.280 He pays even greater attention to you. 00:35:55.599 --> 00:36:00.400 Down to the last detail, even numbering the hairs on your head, or for some of us, the lack thereof. 00:36:00.559 --> 00:36:02.559 Some of us are just not doing well with that department. 00:36:02.639 --> 00:36:03.360 That's fine. 00:36:03.519 --> 00:36:04.639 I see you, right? 00:36:04.800 --> 00:36:06.800 Literally, I can see your heads, they're shining. 00:36:07.039 --> 00:36:10.159 Um, but God is ready for the moment. 00:36:10.400 --> 00:36:14.960 The moment we turn to him, he's ready to turn to us in a deep, beautiful way. 00:36:15.280 --> 00:36:18.239 So, three quick questions, we're almost done. 00:36:18.480 --> 00:36:20.400 Again, another practice for this week. 00:36:20.559 --> 00:36:25.119 Three questions that your closest relationships need you to answer at a soul level. 00:36:25.280 --> 00:36:37.280 If you're a parent, as an example, these are not questions your kids are gonna come up and ask you, but they are questions that you need to answer, things that they need to have answered by those that love them in their life. 00:36:37.519 --> 00:36:40.239 First, and we'll go briefly, do you see me? 00:36:40.480 --> 00:36:41.679 This is an important one. 00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:43.280 Do you see me? 00:36:43.760 --> 00:36:45.920 My daughter Sloane, she's seven. 00:36:46.079 --> 00:36:47.519 Her name means warrior. 00:36:47.679 --> 00:36:56.719 And I just want to encourage you to be aware of what you name your children because they often live up to what their name is, and her name means warrior, and uh, it's terrifying. 00:36:56.880 --> 00:36:59.280 So her name's Sloan, she's seven. 00:36:59.440 --> 00:37:02.159 She's in this space recently where she's learning how to do cartwheels. 00:37:02.480 --> 00:37:06.559 Now, this is frustrating because she's not good at cartwheels, which means she gets hurt all the time. 00:37:06.719 --> 00:37:10.719 So she's flinging her body all over the place, trying to do a cartwheel, but mostly getting hurt. 00:37:10.960 --> 00:37:12.079 Anyone know what I'm talking about? 00:37:12.239 --> 00:37:13.440 This stage is very frustrating. 00:37:13.599 --> 00:37:16.960 So the other day, she's she I'm sitting down and she goes, Dad, watch me. 00:37:17.119 --> 00:37:20.880 And I say, Okay, she does a cartwheel in front of me and she lands. 00:37:20.960 --> 00:37:21.840 I say good job. 00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:22.960 It wasn't a good job. 00:37:23.039 --> 00:37:24.239 Like it was not a good cartwheel. 00:37:24.320 --> 00:37:25.679 I was just like, let's move on quickly. 00:37:25.840 --> 00:37:27.679 If I say good job, she'll move on. 00:37:27.840 --> 00:37:30.000 But she quickly goes, You weren't watching me. 00:37:30.159 --> 00:37:31.360 I was like, Yes, I was. 00:37:31.440 --> 00:37:31.920 I saw you. 00:37:32.079 --> 00:37:34.159 She goes, I'm gonna do it again, but this time watch me. 00:37:34.239 --> 00:37:37.119 I was like, Okay, like what felt corrected. 00:37:37.199 --> 00:37:41.920 So she does it again, not a good job, but I said, Good job, honey, good, let's move on. 00:37:42.000 --> 00:37:43.440 And she's like, You're not watching me. 00:37:43.519 --> 00:37:44.639 And I was like, Are you kidding? 00:37:44.719 --> 00:37:46.159 Well, how do I watch you anymore? 00:37:46.320 --> 00:37:51.679 So out of sheer frustration, I put my hands up like binoculars on my eyes, and I watch her do this cartwheel. 00:37:51.760 --> 00:37:55.119 And for whatever reason, in that moment, she felt totally what we would call seen. 00:37:55.199 --> 00:37:56.880 She's like, Great, thanks for watching, Dad. 00:37:57.039 --> 00:38:07.599 Now, this has gotten so out of hand that I can be in the other room and she can literally say, Watch me, dad, and I just put my hands up like binoculars, and she goes, Thanks for watching! Like, it's bizarre. 00:38:07.760 --> 00:38:09.039 She feels seen by this. 00:38:09.280 --> 00:38:12.960 Now, note to those of you who are married or in any sort of romantic relationship. 00:38:13.119 --> 00:38:17.360 This works great with children, it does not work great in a relationship. 00:38:17.679 --> 00:38:27.360 If you're sitting across from your spouse at dinner and they're like, and your wife's like, I just don't feel like you see me, and you're just like, does not compute. 00:38:29.039 --> 00:38:31.119 Second question, do you care that I'm here? 00:38:31.280 --> 00:38:32.239 This is important. 00:38:33.199 --> 00:38:37.599 Most of your kids, if you're good people and you are, know that you love them. 00:38:37.920 --> 00:38:40.159 But a lot of kids don't know that you like them. 00:38:40.400 --> 00:38:47.199 And you need to remind them, and you need to remind your spouse, and you need to remind your friends in your closest relationship, hey, I just like who you are. 00:38:47.760 --> 00:38:48.320 I like you. 00:38:48.559 --> 00:38:50.000 Who you are is good. 00:38:50.559 --> 00:38:55.199 Third, am I enough for you or do you need me to be better in some way? 00:38:56.400 --> 00:39:08.400 And this is that idea that who God created in your life, whether that's your spouse or a friend or a child, that you delight in who they actually are, not who you wish them to be. 00:39:09.119 --> 00:39:14.320 It's our job if you are a parent to not only unfold, it's not only to mold your kids, but to unfold them. 00:39:14.400 --> 00:39:15.440 You mold them, right? 00:39:15.599 --> 00:39:19.280 We're teaching, we're training, we're helping, but we're also discovering at the same time. 00:39:20.719 --> 00:39:26.079 Lastly and briefly, your relationships, our relationships need our blessing. 00:39:27.440 --> 00:39:37.280 We have this saying around intentional, that your kids specifically will become who you tell them that you see them becoming. 00:39:39.280 --> 00:39:45.199 And that's that idea that words shape your identity and they actually matter. 00:39:45.920 --> 00:39:50.639 Proverbs 18 says that the tongue has the power of life and death. 00:39:51.039 --> 00:39:55.360 That we literally can bless people or curse them with our words. 00:39:55.679 --> 00:40:05.920 Words will either build up your family and relationships into what God made them to be, or they will break under the weight and the pressure of shame and silence and words that hurt. 00:40:07.119 --> 00:40:09.039 They need your blessing, friends. 00:40:09.199 --> 00:40:14.719 Now, a question to all of us, because it comes right to me, is what in the world is a biblical blessing? 00:40:15.199 --> 00:40:19.519 Because the Bible is actually full of blessing from like Abraham, you've got Isaac, you've got Jesus. 00:40:19.599 --> 00:40:21.679 There's a lot of people like speaking blessing. 00:40:22.079 --> 00:40:25.519 But blessings weren't just nice sentiments like, hey, bless you. 00:40:25.679 --> 00:40:27.360 Like, hope you have a good day. 00:40:28.000 --> 00:40:35.519 No, blessings were identity shaping, future revealing, Holy Spirit infused words of life. 00:40:36.719 --> 00:40:40.559 Identity shaping, future revealing, Holy Spirit infused in words of life. 00:40:41.440 --> 00:40:49.440 Um, in his book, John Trent lays out five core elements of a biblical blessing, and I think they make the most sense and they are the most helpful. 00:40:49.599 --> 00:40:54.320 So I'm gonna just put these five things on the screen, then I'm gonna share a story of how it looks all together. 00:40:54.400 --> 00:40:56.960 Okay, so you can take a photo of this, write it down, whatever you want. 00:40:57.119 --> 00:41:00.159 But I'll just mention them, I'll tell you a quick story, we'll be done. 00:41:00.559 --> 00:41:10.880 First, appropriate touch, a spoken message, attaching high value, picturing a special future, and then an active commitment to fulfill the blessing. 00:41:11.199 --> 00:41:13.360 Let me just give you a quick story of what this looks like. 00:41:13.840 --> 00:41:18.239 Uh, when I leave or travel or speak, I try to sit down with each one of my kids and I try to bless them. 00:41:18.320 --> 00:41:20.000 Now, this doesn't happen every single time. 00:41:20.159 --> 00:41:27.599 I want you to be totally in tune with how unrealistic it is to do this every single time I would leave, or but we want to do this on a consistent basis. 00:41:27.679 --> 00:41:31.679 And this is specifically the example of a father to his kids. 00:41:31.920 --> 00:41:35.760 But in this situation, I'll say to my son, Duke, so first we have appropriate touch. 00:41:35.920 --> 00:41:37.199 I'll put my hands on his shoulders. 00:41:37.280 --> 00:41:39.119 He's now taller than me, so I look up a little bit. 00:41:39.199 --> 00:41:41.199 He calls me his short king. 00:41:41.840 --> 00:41:42.719 I don't like it. 00:41:42.880 --> 00:41:44.000 I don't like it at all. 00:41:44.239 --> 00:41:46.480 I don't think it's endearing, I think it's gross. 00:41:46.719 --> 00:41:49.440 But this is where we are. 00:41:49.679 --> 00:41:52.320 I look in his eyes and I just, you know, appropriate touch. 00:41:52.400 --> 00:41:53.039 He's a man now. 00:41:53.119 --> 00:41:55.519 So I say, hey, then I move to a spoken message. 00:41:55.599 --> 00:41:59.519 And I say something along the lines, not exactly, but something along the lines like, hey, I love you. 00:41:59.679 --> 00:42:01.760 You belong in this family, you're my son. 00:42:01.920 --> 00:42:04.239 I'm proud of who you're becoming because that's true. 00:42:04.400 --> 00:42:05.519 You're kind, you're strong. 00:42:05.679 --> 00:42:07.599 I love how you're learning to care for others. 00:42:07.840 --> 00:42:09.679 You're just speaking the things that you see. 00:42:09.840 --> 00:42:12.320 Now, most of us are thinking good things a lot of the time. 00:42:12.400 --> 00:42:13.920 We just don't often say them. 00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:14.880 And that's the thing. 00:42:14.960 --> 00:42:16.239 We want to put that into words. 00:42:16.320 --> 00:42:18.559 And then we want to thirdly attach high value. 00:42:18.719 --> 00:42:23.920 At this part, you're trying to give some idea, a picture of like, hey, you're a valuable person to me. 00:42:24.079 --> 00:42:28.800 A little while ago, this slipped out of my mouth, and so I wrote it down because I laughed so hard inside, so I'll share it with you. 00:42:28.960 --> 00:42:36.719 And it's I said, you remind me of like a mix, you're like a mix, Duke, of like Jesus and John Wick, but you're just not violent. 00:42:37.199 --> 00:42:38.880 And I love that about you, right? 00:42:39.039 --> 00:42:42.239 I love that you're like Jesus and you don't kill people with pens. 00:42:42.559 --> 00:42:43.920 I think that's cool. 00:42:44.159 --> 00:42:45.440 It's like, yeah, that's tough. 00:42:46.159 --> 00:42:46.559 I know. 00:42:46.719 --> 00:42:50.159 I try to speak that he's fierce in love, he's strong in character. 00:42:50.320 --> 00:42:53.920 And then fourth, I try to picture a special future. 00:42:54.159 --> 00:42:57.440 I want to speak into my kids' future if I can, or those I love. 00:42:57.519 --> 00:42:58.960 I want to speak into their future. 00:42:59.199 --> 00:43:01.199 And this is where I say something along the lines. 00:43:01.360 --> 00:43:06.960 I believe you're you're a man of that people can count on, someone who protects vulnerable people, who leads with wisdom. 00:43:07.519 --> 00:43:14.159 And this part with picturing a special future with one of my daughters, Bertie James, um, I speak to her brilliance. 00:43:14.239 --> 00:43:19.440 I say, Hey, I see God using your mind to help others know Jesus more deeply. 00:43:19.599 --> 00:43:22.559 And I know some of you sitting here might be like, Oh, that sounds pretty Christian. 00:43:22.719 --> 00:43:25.280 Like, I see God using her mind to bless people. 00:43:25.679 --> 00:43:29.360 If I could only tell you Bertie's story, you might understand why that's so crazy. 00:43:29.679 --> 00:43:38.320 But when she was six months old, she was diagnosed with a catastrophic form of epilepsy called infantile spasms, which caused long-term permanent brain damage. 00:43:38.559 --> 00:43:44.239 And she was all of a sudden totally healthy, and then a little girl with special needs, and she's been recovering every day since. 00:43:44.480 --> 00:43:55.679 When God gave me the picture that He was going to heal her mind, the thing that was most broken about her, to bring redemption to the world, that's not just a nice idea, friends, that's a miracle. 00:43:56.000 --> 00:43:58.320 That's God doing something that I could never do. 00:43:58.400 --> 00:43:59.679 And I try to speak to her like, I want. 00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:02.480 Picture a special future for you, Bertie. 00:44:02.719 --> 00:44:07.599 And that is this that God's going to use the thing that's most broken in you to bring the most healing to others. 00:44:08.559 --> 00:44:09.840 And I get to tell her that. 00:44:10.079 --> 00:44:11.920 Half the time she's like, What are you talking about? 00:44:12.079 --> 00:44:14.559 I'm like, I know you don't get it, but it's happening, sweetie. 00:44:14.639 --> 00:44:15.199 It's happening. 00:44:16.400 --> 00:44:17.360 What is that blessing? 00:44:17.519 --> 00:44:18.719 It's prophetic encouragement. 00:44:18.800 --> 00:44:20.000 It's speaking it into life. 00:44:20.079 --> 00:44:23.199 And then lastly and briefly, a commitment to fulfill the blessing. 00:44:23.840 --> 00:44:27.920 Friends, you cannot bless people and then just say, Hope it goes well. 00:44:28.239 --> 00:44:29.360 Hope this works out. 00:44:29.599 --> 00:44:31.039 It's not enough to just speak it. 00:44:31.599 --> 00:44:32.960 You have to show up for it. 00:44:33.679 --> 00:44:36.079 You have to say, Hey, I'm here for you. 00:44:36.320 --> 00:44:48.239 A silly example, but a good one is if you're a parent and you have a kid that's good at piano, but you never provide a piano for them to learn and play, that's a great example of not actually blessing them. 00:44:48.400 --> 00:44:49.519 You're just teasing them. 00:44:50.159 --> 00:44:53.039 We have to show up and be a part of it. 00:44:55.599 --> 00:45:03.840 As we close, a question that is probably rising to your heart, one that is definitely there for me every time I even talk about this topic. 00:45:04.239 --> 00:45:07.280 And is the question is this what if no one ever did that for me? 00:45:07.840 --> 00:45:08.880 I mean, I don't know about you. 00:45:08.960 --> 00:45:10.400 I I didn't have that growing up. 00:45:10.719 --> 00:45:12.480 This was not my list growing up. 00:45:13.280 --> 00:45:23.760 But I want to highlight that even though you might not have had a dad that put his hand on your shoulder and was proud of you, or a mom that named your gifts out gifts out loud, there's hope. 00:45:24.800 --> 00:45:26.880 Because our father actually has. 00:45:27.119 --> 00:45:28.159 He's done that. 00:45:29.199 --> 00:45:40.400 And friends, if you have not received this type of blessing, awakening church, you can actually become a church, you can become a family that begins to have the language of blessing in your homes and in your relationships. 00:45:40.480 --> 00:45:44.239 And my goodness, this thing brings more healing than anything I've experienced. 00:45:44.400 --> 00:45:46.880 I mean, just if you are married, can I just highlight something for you? 00:45:47.119 --> 00:45:49.280 If you're married, what spouse is gonna hate this? 00:45:50.480 --> 00:45:50.800 Right? 00:45:51.039 --> 00:45:54.000 Like you go out to dinner and you know, go through the list. 00:45:54.159 --> 00:45:55.119 One appropriate touch. 00:45:55.199 --> 00:45:56.800 Well, you're married, so it could be inappropriate, whatever. 00:45:56.880 --> 00:45:57.760 It's up to you, you know. 00:45:58.079 --> 00:46:01.119 But you you're speaking a message, attaching high value. 00:46:01.280 --> 00:46:02.960 You're going through the whole list. 00:46:03.119 --> 00:46:09.519 What spouse is not going to just absolutely inflate with joy in life with a spouse that would give that to them? 00:46:10.159 --> 00:46:12.079 If you're a parent, give that to your kids. 00:46:12.719 --> 00:46:18.880 Adult children, if you have parents that are in a place of dysfunction, you can give this to them. 00:46:18.960 --> 00:46:21.119 They might not give it to you, but you can give it to them. 00:46:22.079 --> 00:46:30.480 And I promise you, you will see life and see hope and see the spirit come in and begin to heal what has been dysfunctional. 00:46:31.280 --> 00:46:34.400 What heals dysfunction quicker than anything, my friends, is blessing. 00:46:37.199 --> 00:46:44.800 There's so many different ways we could close, but I feel like the best way is just to pray in all of this different, all these different moments that we've talked about. 00:46:44.880 --> 00:46:47.440 So if you would love, could you just stand for a minute? 00:46:47.679 --> 00:46:49.440 We're gonna stand, we're gonna worship in a second. 00:46:50.159 --> 00:46:55.679 And as we do, I'm gonna just invite you to be in whatever posture is helpful for you to receive. 00:46:55.840 --> 00:46:58.079 Now that just means if it's closing your eyes, great. 00:46:58.239 --> 00:47:01.760 If it's opening them, opening your hands, whatever posture is comfortable. 00:47:03.039 --> 00:47:11.840 But as we close, I just I I want to invite the spirit to just ask a few questions as we are closing. 00:47:12.960 --> 00:47:15.440 So, Holy Spirit, we just invite you to come right now. 00:47:16.079 --> 00:47:18.559 We invite you in this moment to just reflect. 00:47:18.639 --> 00:47:25.519 And I just want to pray in and just ask a few questions of you and walk you through just for a brief moment. 00:47:26.239 --> 00:47:29.440 A few things to ask the Father, even right now. 00:47:30.960 --> 00:47:36.480 And so, Father, we just invite you to just highlight these things, be like the flashlight in the cave of our soul. 00:47:38.239 --> 00:47:45.039 The first question I would just invite you to ask the Father is this which one of those four do you want me to press into more? 00:47:46.400 --> 00:47:51.360 God, are you inviting me into the work, the spiritual formation, the forgiveness? 00:47:52.480 --> 00:47:59.679 Maybe I'm distracted all the time, or maybe you're here and you want to become a person that blesses and doesn't curse. 00:48:00.079 --> 00:48:03.599 Just take a moment, ask him what needs to be illuminated right now. 00:48:13.599 --> 00:48:19.119 The second question just to ask the Father, what does he want you to know? 00:48:19.599 --> 00:48:24.480 I mean, some some people here are just maybe we're distracted, maybe God wants to say something. 00:48:24.559 --> 00:48:30.480 So just open up your mind and your heart and your ideas to ask him, what does he want you to know? 00:48:30.639 --> 00:48:32.320 He might want you to know something. 00:48:35.679 --> 00:48:38.239 God's kindness leads us to repentance. 00:48:42.880 --> 00:48:47.039 And thirdly, uh, lastly, what does he want you to do? 00:48:48.320 --> 00:48:51.679 With what he's highlighting and with what he wants you to know. 00:48:52.159 --> 00:48:55.119 Just ask the question, what do you want me to do? 00:48:56.719 --> 00:49:04.239 Maybe it's a specific person, maybe it's your child, maybe it's your spouse, maybe it's your friend, maybe it's a coworker. 00:49:04.559 --> 00:49:06.480 But what is he asking you to step into? 00:49:06.639 --> 00:49:11.840 God doesn't just put nice ideas in our mind, he actually wants us to step out in obedience. 00:49:15.760 --> 00:49:33.199 And as we're closing, as we begin to take communion in a minute and we sing, even upon praying for this weekend, I just had a strong sense that there might be many in the room uh struggling with pain and frustration with the in-law/slash adult kids dynamic. 00:49:33.760 --> 00:49:40.639 You're an adult, you're you're a parent at this point, but you have parents, and there's just some tension, there's some frustration. 00:49:40.719 --> 00:49:42.880 And I just want to remind you, God can heal that too. 00:49:43.199 --> 00:49:48.880 God can heal the really intense dysfunction that even exists right now. 00:49:48.960 --> 00:49:52.960 And it doesn't mean it's perfect, it doesn't mean it goes all the way, but he can do those things. 00:49:53.039 --> 00:49:54.400 So don't forget to invite him. 00:49:54.559 --> 00:49:59.519 So, Father, we invite you into our stories to heal, to redeem, to help. 00:49:59.760 --> 00:50:05.039 We know that we don't need to say many words for them to be sincere, to be filled with faith, and for them to be powerful. 00:50:05.119 --> 00:50:08.159 So I just ask for healing in the families represented in this room. 00:50:08.480 --> 00:50:14.400 For the marriages that are just at a tender moment of and really just in a hard place. 00:50:14.719 --> 00:50:20.639 I want to ask, God, that you would lead them towards health, towards love, towards oneness in you and with one another. 00:50:20.880 --> 00:50:26.559 And Father, I want to pray for those who are just struggling, uh, even in their parenting relationships with their kids. 00:50:26.639 --> 00:50:33.119 I ask for just perspective and hope and help, and God, that you would just breathe life into the families of awakening. 00:50:33.440 --> 00:50:36.960 Would we be people who not only listen to you, but obey you? 00:50:37.119 --> 00:50:44.639 And so today, as you've given us this opportunity, we ask God that we would step into obedience with humility and joy. 00:50:44.800 --> 00:50:46.960 We pray this for your glory and our good. 00:50:49.440 --> 00:50:51.679 We hope you are blessed by this message. 00:50:51.840 --> 00:50:56.239 Please subscribe to our podcast for access to every episode as they're uploaded. 00:50:56.480 --> 00:50:58.559 And hey, we'd love to connect with you. 00:50:58.800 --> 00:51:04.639 Take a next step by filling out our virtual connection card at awakeningchurch.com slash card.