WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:02.319 Welcome to the Awakening Church podcast. 00:00:02.479 --> 00:00:07.040 We pray this message encourages you and provides the hope and light of Jesus Christ. 00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:08.640 Thanks for tuning in. 00:00:18.879 --> 00:00:21.199 Sermon titled Today is simply the better way. 00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:22.800 Would you say that with me? 00:00:24.800 --> 00:00:32.000 Joseph, once powerless, is now in a position of power to pay back his brothers for the evil they did to him. 00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:37.679 And it's something, let's be honest, it's something that you or I may have fantasized about. 00:00:38.320 --> 00:00:43.200 Fantasize the person who hurt us most, but he actually is holding the remote. 00:00:43.359 --> 00:00:48.719 Let me give you just a recap of Joseph's lives if you're new and joining the conversation. 00:00:48.960 --> 00:00:51.840 Joseph's journey, it began with the birth of a dream. 00:00:52.079 --> 00:00:59.119 God gave him this incredible dream that you're gonna rule, have impact and influence at 17 years of age. 00:00:59.200 --> 00:01:00.960 He was the favorite of his father. 00:01:01.200 --> 00:01:08.319 His brothers hated him, wanted to kill him, and instead they profited off him and sold him into slavery. 00:01:08.480 --> 00:01:23.920 He sold into slavery, spends 13 years from the pit to a slave in Potiphar's household, to a unjustly accused and imprisoned. 00:01:24.319 --> 00:01:28.159 13 years of his life, from 17 until 30. 00:01:28.319 --> 00:01:32.159 And then unexpectedly, in a moment, his circumstances change. 00:01:32.319 --> 00:01:33.359 Pharaoh has a dream. 00:01:33.519 --> 00:01:38.480 Joseph interprets it, says there's gonna be seven good years of plenty and seven years of famine. 00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:40.879 Find somebody who can lead us well. 00:01:40.959 --> 00:01:46.480 And Pharaoh says, You're the guy, and he's promoted to second in command of Egypt. 00:01:46.719 --> 00:01:52.319 Seven years go by, 20 years, by the way, since he's seen his family. 00:01:52.640 --> 00:01:53.760 Two decades. 00:01:54.879 --> 00:02:02.000 Widespread famine hits the ancient world, not just Egypt, but all the surrounding areas. 00:02:02.239 --> 00:02:05.439 Word gets out that Egypt has food. 00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:13.039 People from everywhere are coming, and now his brothers are coming to Egypt to get food. 00:02:13.199 --> 00:02:17.680 And literally, this is think about this: a dream come true. 00:02:17.840 --> 00:02:22.400 Maybe your dream to hold the power over someone, a dream come true. 00:02:22.719 --> 00:02:26.000 Joseph the powerless now is in power. 00:02:26.159 --> 00:02:30.960 His brothers who betrayed him are now groveling before him. 00:02:31.520 --> 00:02:35.680 This is the way it says it in Genesis 42. 00:02:36.400 --> 00:02:39.919 Then ten of Joseph's brothers went down to buy grain from Egypt. 00:02:40.479 --> 00:02:44.240 Now Joseph was the governor of the land, the person who sold grain to all his people. 00:02:44.319 --> 00:02:50.319 So when Joseph's brothers arrived, they bowed down to him with their faces to the ground. 00:02:50.639 --> 00:02:52.240 Imagine this moment. 00:02:54.159 --> 00:02:57.280 Put yourself in Joseph's place. 00:02:58.319 --> 00:02:59.520 Two decades. 00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:18.159 The very ones who betrayed you, who wanted to kill you, who sold you, are now bowing down before you, and you hold the power over their life. 00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:23.120 And although Joseph recognized his brothers, they did not recognize him. 00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:28.960 Then he remembered his dreams about them and said to them, dun, dun, dun. 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:31.280 What do you do? 00:03:32.319 --> 00:03:40.000 When you finally have the power to make someone pay for what they did. 00:03:41.360 --> 00:03:43.919 I'll tell you what we do in our world today. 00:03:44.159 --> 00:03:50.560 We live in a world that says cancel them, cut them off, get even. 00:03:51.280 --> 00:03:59.680 I may not hold the remote over their life, but I'll block them, I'll ghost them, and I'll let everybody else know how terrible they are. 00:03:59.919 --> 00:04:05.599 In fact, quickly becoming the motto of our day is actually Cobra Kai's motto. 00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:09.759 Strike first, strike hard. 00:04:10.159 --> 00:04:10.879 No mercy. 00:04:11.120 --> 00:04:12.400 Do you guys not know Cobra Kai? 00:04:12.560 --> 00:04:14.159 Have you like come hello? 00:04:14.240 --> 00:04:14.560 Thank you. 00:04:15.199 --> 00:04:15.759 Yeah. 00:04:16.800 --> 00:04:17.680 No what? 00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:19.439 No mercy, no mercy. 00:04:20.079 --> 00:04:28.800 Okay, some of you, there's like a really popular show called Cobra Kai on Netflix, but even before that, there was this original show called Karate Kid. 00:04:28.959 --> 00:04:30.240 Just go watch it, please. 00:04:30.399 --> 00:04:31.920 That's your homework after this. 00:04:32.160 --> 00:04:33.279 Good night. 00:04:36.079 --> 00:04:37.279 No mercy. 00:04:38.560 --> 00:04:41.199 They don't deserve it. 00:04:43.439 --> 00:04:45.199 And here's what's amazing. 00:04:45.439 --> 00:04:56.079 What makes Joseph's story so powerful, what moves the soul, what invites us in, what's compelling is not this rag to riches story. 00:04:56.160 --> 00:04:58.480 That doesn't actually move the soul. 00:04:59.759 --> 00:05:02.879 That might be something you go, like, oh, I want that to happen to me. 00:05:02.959 --> 00:05:11.279 But what moves the soul is Joseph, who's in power, leverages his power not for revenge or retaliation. 00:05:11.439 --> 00:05:16.800 He leverages his power to move towards reconciliation and restoration. 00:05:18.000 --> 00:05:20.720 Those stories move the soul. 00:05:21.600 --> 00:05:30.319 And here's the reason why Joseph understood something that we are losing or perhaps even lost in our day today. 00:05:31.600 --> 00:05:36.560 He understood first that forgiveness is the better way. 00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:49.360 If I actually hold the power and the control, the better way is to leverage my power and my control to give to you what you do not deserve. 00:05:49.600 --> 00:05:52.959 Forgiveness is the better way. 00:05:54.560 --> 00:05:55.199 Why? 00:05:56.879 --> 00:05:58.160 A few reasons. 00:05:58.720 --> 00:06:02.240 First, forgiveness is powerful. 00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:06.399 Forgiveness is powerful. 00:06:07.920 --> 00:06:17.040 Forgiveness, we're gonna see this, changes your life, and it also changes their lives. 00:06:17.600 --> 00:06:26.639 But underneath our cancel culture, Ryan, is that forgiveness is feeble or foolish, isn't it? 00:06:27.279 --> 00:06:28.639 Don't forgive them. 00:06:28.879 --> 00:06:34.800 Extending grace to a wrongdoer is seen by many as letting them off the hook, minimizing the wrong. 00:06:35.040 --> 00:06:46.480 One analyst puts it this way: in a culture that prizes outrage over reconciliation, forgiveness is increasingly seen as weakness, an outdated concept that fails to take harm seriously. 00:06:46.639 --> 00:06:46.879 Really? 00:06:47.040 --> 00:06:48.720 Forgiveness is powerful? 00:06:49.759 --> 00:06:50.399 Yeah. 00:06:51.120 --> 00:06:53.680 Let's talk about what forgiveness is and what it is not. 00:06:53.839 --> 00:06:57.600 First, forgiveness is not weakness, it is strength. 00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:01.279 If I hold all the power, all the controls. 00:07:01.519 --> 00:07:03.120 Imagine Joseph, by the way. 00:07:05.040 --> 00:07:09.519 It does not take strength to hold a grudge. 00:07:10.319 --> 00:07:15.600 It does not take strength to let bitterness have its way in your heart. 00:07:15.759 --> 00:07:19.519 It does not take strength to enact revenge. 00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:24.000 It's actually a strength to forgive. 00:07:25.600 --> 00:07:32.160 To say, I hold all of this, but I'm not gonna hold it over you anymore. 00:07:32.319 --> 00:07:34.879 It's not a weakness, it's actually a strength. 00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:38.160 It's not forgetting, it's actually freedom. 00:07:40.480 --> 00:07:46.480 See, sometimes we think, okay, yeah, to really forget, I uh forgive, I have to truly forget. 00:07:46.639 --> 00:07:49.360 Joseph didn't forget what his brothers had done. 00:07:49.680 --> 00:07:58.319 In fact, when he finally, you know, reveals himself to them, he says, uh, hey, I'm your brother Joseph, who you sold. 00:07:58.720 --> 00:08:00.959 Let's get the facts out there. 00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:04.639 It doesn't mean forgetting or pretending like it never happened. 00:08:04.879 --> 00:08:17.199 And yet at the same time, ruminating on something, playing it over and over and over and over again, what they did to you, how could they? 00:08:17.839 --> 00:08:21.839 Ruminating is literally practicing unforgiveness. 00:08:23.360 --> 00:08:33.840 But forgiveness, when we give forgiveness, it's like releasing the cage of a bird to set them free, realizing it was us that was freed in the first place. 00:08:36.879 --> 00:08:40.000 Forgiveness frees you from resentment, bitterness, hatred. 00:08:40.639 --> 00:08:46.320 If we let hatred persist, we harm our souls far more than the perpetrator did. 00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:53.120 Unforgiveness, as you've heard this probably before, is like drinking poison and then waiting for the other person to die. 00:08:54.559 --> 00:08:55.440 Forgiveness. 00:08:55.600 --> 00:08:59.919 It's not weaknesses, it's strength, it's not forgetting, it's freedom. 00:09:00.159 --> 00:09:06.080 It's not condoning or excusing, it's healing and wholeness. 00:09:06.720 --> 00:09:11.360 Forgiveness does not minimize what happened, it does not excuse abuse, betrayal, or injustice. 00:09:11.440 --> 00:09:12.879 It doesn't say it's okay. 00:09:13.120 --> 00:09:17.679 By the way, when someone asks for your forgiveness, don't say it's fine. 00:09:18.399 --> 00:09:20.960 It's okay, it's nothing. 00:09:21.840 --> 00:09:26.799 It was something, it was hurtful, it was painful. 00:09:27.919 --> 00:09:31.039 And I forgive you. 00:09:32.879 --> 00:09:39.840 When Joseph finally revealed himself, he actually addresses, he doesn't the what his brothers did. 00:09:40.000 --> 00:09:44.639 He names the wrong, but refuses to let bitterness define him. 00:09:45.919 --> 00:09:51.120 Now here's the interesting part science is catching up with the Bible. 00:09:52.399 --> 00:09:53.679 Keeps doing it. 00:09:54.240 --> 00:10:00.399 Did you know that forgiveness is actually good for your health when we're talking about healing and wholeness? 00:10:00.480 --> 00:10:05.440 We're not just talking about emotional, we're not just talking about spiritual, we're actually talking about physical as well. 00:10:05.679 --> 00:10:12.799 Stanford Forgiveness Project, people who practice forgiveness experience significantly reduced anxiety, depression, and hostility. 00:10:13.039 --> 00:10:19.759 The Mayo Clinic, forgiveness is linked to lower blood pressure, stronger immune system, and improved heart health. 00:10:20.480 --> 00:10:26.399 Friends, unforgiveness is literally killing us. 00:10:28.720 --> 00:10:36.240 Forgiveness isn't seeking justice or compensation, it's releasing. 00:10:37.360 --> 00:10:40.639 A good definition for forgiveness is simply this. 00:10:40.960 --> 00:10:45.919 Forgiveness is releasing my right for revenge. 00:10:46.799 --> 00:10:53.440 Forgiveness is letting my right to hold over you to pay you back. 00:10:55.440 --> 00:10:59.759 This is one of the areas, this this one right here, this is the one I struggle with most. 00:11:00.159 --> 00:11:02.080 I'm a justice guy. 00:11:02.639 --> 00:11:04.320 I want you to get what you deserve. 00:11:04.480 --> 00:11:08.320 I don't want to get what I deserve, but I want you to get what you deserve, right? 00:11:08.639 --> 00:11:11.840 Like justice, like sometimes there's this tension of forgiveness. 00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:14.399 I can't forgive them until they get it. 00:11:14.879 --> 00:11:17.440 I can't forgive them until justice is served. 00:11:17.600 --> 00:11:19.679 I can't forgive them until no, no, no, no. 00:11:19.759 --> 00:11:22.559 Forgiveness is there, might be justice that needs to be served. 00:11:22.639 --> 00:11:25.679 And certainly there are plenty of cases where that is true. 00:11:25.919 --> 00:11:30.799 Forgiveness does not require justice to be served for you to give it to them. 00:11:31.039 --> 00:11:34.799 And it doesn't let them off the hook for justice to be served. 00:11:37.360 --> 00:11:40.559 But it's saying, This has had a grip on me. 00:11:40.799 --> 00:11:50.240 I have a right, I'm holding something over you, and I am going to release my right for revenge. 00:11:50.559 --> 00:12:02.000 Uh, Romans 12 19 says, Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written, it is mine to avenge, I will repay, says the Lord. 00:12:02.240 --> 00:12:11.600 Forgiveness is taking that right and that remote of what you've been holding on to and trusting it into the hands of God. 00:12:14.159 --> 00:12:17.919 I can't hold on to this anymore. 00:12:18.639 --> 00:12:20.320 I give it over to you. 00:12:20.480 --> 00:12:22.559 I give them over to you. 00:12:22.879 --> 00:12:30.639 And then finally, forgiveness is not reconciliation or restoration, forgiveness is a one-person decision. 00:12:32.960 --> 00:12:40.480 Forgiveness always precedes reconciliation, but it does not require reconciliation. 00:12:40.879 --> 00:12:59.759 In fact, Joseph's story is like one of these great case studies for us of those who have been hurt deeply wounded by someone who's betrayed you fundamentally and to the very core, and to be able to like really discover should I let that person back into my life? 00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:03.759 Chapter 42, 43, and 44. 00:13:03.919 --> 00:13:05.279 So chapter 45 is great. 00:13:05.360 --> 00:13:07.759 It's where Joseph reunites, he reveals himself. 00:13:07.840 --> 00:13:11.039 It's like this beautiful, like amazing Hallmark moment. 00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:13.120 It's like, oh, this is awesome. 00:13:13.440 --> 00:13:16.960 42, 43, and 44. 00:13:17.279 --> 00:13:20.799 Joseph recognizes them, they don't recognize him. 00:13:20.960 --> 00:13:24.240 He's speaking Egyptian, and he's using an interpreter. 00:13:24.399 --> 00:13:30.720 Uh, the brothers, they're speaking Hebrew, they don't realize Joseph understands everything they're saying. 00:13:31.759 --> 00:13:34.720 And what he does so wisely and well. 00:13:35.360 --> 00:13:38.559 He doesn't see his brother and said, Oh, forget it, come on in. 00:13:38.720 --> 00:13:41.519 He's like, You betrayed me, you wanted to kill me. 00:13:41.919 --> 00:13:43.840 Has anything changed? 00:13:44.559 --> 00:13:46.639 Has there been a heart change? 00:13:47.200 --> 00:13:52.080 He actually puts them through two separate tests. 00:13:52.960 --> 00:13:58.799 Encourage you, go read through it because he's gonna go, before we're gonna have this moment, I want to see. 00:13:59.279 --> 00:14:02.480 Have you had a change of heart? 00:14:03.840 --> 00:14:06.399 See, forgiveness is a one-person decision. 00:14:06.559 --> 00:14:07.679 I can forgive you. 00:14:07.840 --> 00:14:13.679 Reconciliation, I like how Lewis Mead says it, reconciliation takes two people to be reunited. 00:14:14.879 --> 00:14:17.679 Takes one to forgive, it takes two to be reunited. 00:14:17.840 --> 00:14:22.399 I can forgive you, but you may not be a safe person any longer. 00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:26.960 It may be unsafe or unwise to be reunited. 00:14:27.200 --> 00:14:41.120 But here's the thing I want to challenge us with because I think today we so cut people off, we cancel them so quick, we just immediately put, if they disagree with us or if they hurt us anyway, there we just label people unsafe. 00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:42.879 There are plenty of unsafe people. 00:14:42.960 --> 00:14:43.919 I'm not saying that. 00:14:44.159 --> 00:14:45.919 Here's what I loved about Joseph. 00:14:46.159 --> 00:14:47.600 Joseph forgave. 00:14:47.919 --> 00:14:56.480 He had the heart for reconciliation, he went through a process to see if reconciliation was wise and restoration was possible. 00:14:56.960 --> 00:15:00.559 Here's what I want to challenge us and encourage us with. 00:15:00.799 --> 00:15:06.720 I think what happens for us is we have this forgiveness of like, okay, that's already really hard. 00:15:08.799 --> 00:15:11.279 I don't have a heart to be reconciled. 00:15:12.879 --> 00:15:15.200 I don't want to be restored. 00:15:16.480 --> 00:15:21.039 In fact, I just want to be cut off from them. 00:15:23.279 --> 00:15:32.639 The gospel is that you have been reconciled to God, and then so he has given us the ministry of reconciliation. 00:15:33.919 --> 00:15:39.519 As far as it depends on you and me, Paul would tell us, live and be at peace with everyone. 00:15:40.000 --> 00:15:41.759 As far as it depends on you, not on them. 00:15:41.919 --> 00:15:43.200 It's a two-person deal. 00:15:43.440 --> 00:15:45.840 And so I'm going to decide to forgive you. 00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:48.720 We're going to talk about how do you do that in a second. 00:15:50.240 --> 00:15:54.000 I want to have a heart to be reconciled. 00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:01.120 And God honors this prayer, by the way. 00:16:04.879 --> 00:16:06.960 Remember the person that you're holding the remote? 00:16:12.639 --> 00:16:15.360 God, I don't really want to be reconciled. 00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:20.399 I don't really want to be restored. 00:16:23.120 --> 00:16:27.440 But I want people to want to be reconciled. 00:16:29.360 --> 00:16:31.600 Would you begin to do that work in me? 00:16:32.879 --> 00:16:39.279 God, the pain and the hurts and what they brought, and I'm going to go through the process. 00:16:39.440 --> 00:16:41.200 I'm going to bring in wise counsel. 00:16:41.360 --> 00:16:49.600 I'm not going to just jump in blind, but but there's just something in me I do want, because of what you've done for me, I do want to want it. 00:16:49.679 --> 00:16:52.080 I just want you to begin the work in me. 00:16:53.279 --> 00:16:58.000 Regardless of their response, I want you to do the work in me where I would want it. 00:16:58.159 --> 00:17:00.720 So would you meet me in this space? 00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:02.000 I want. 00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:09.359 Forgiveness, it's powerful. 00:17:12.240 --> 00:17:13.759 Then how do we do it? 00:17:15.519 --> 00:17:18.720 I think we understand that forgiveness is a process. 00:17:19.359 --> 00:17:23.680 But did you actually know that forgiveness is a practice? 00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:27.519 We can, this is amazing. 00:17:27.599 --> 00:17:34.799 This is really good news because if you could just fill this room right now, we're talking about deep waters. 00:17:35.119 --> 00:17:38.960 And there's just a bit of us like some of our walls are up. 00:17:39.359 --> 00:17:43.440 Some of like like the like we're just like wrestling with this right now. 00:17:43.599 --> 00:17:44.960 Here's really good news. 00:17:45.200 --> 00:17:50.880 Forgiveness is a practice which means you can grow in it and you can learn it. 00:17:52.319 --> 00:17:54.000 Well, I'm just not a forgiving person. 00:17:54.079 --> 00:17:55.039 I didn't come that way. 00:17:55.119 --> 00:17:55.920 I just don't have it. 00:17:56.079 --> 00:17:57.039 That's fantastic. 00:17:57.200 --> 00:18:01.200 You can grow in it and you can learn it. 00:18:01.519 --> 00:18:06.559 I want you to just see Joseph's response to his brothers, that hallmark moment, Genesis 45. 00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:08.799 Then Joseph said to his brothers, Come close to me. 00:18:08.960 --> 00:18:12.720 When they'd done so, he said, I'm your brother, Joseph, the one you sold out of Egypt. 00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:16.480 Now do not be distressed, do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here. 00:18:16.720 --> 00:18:20.319 Because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. 00:18:20.480 --> 00:18:30.960 Oh, how do we become a people that 20 years later, in the atrocities and the pain that it shapes us so much that we see God through our story, we don't just see our pain in our past. 00:18:32.000 --> 00:18:35.119 Forgiveness is the key. 00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:37.039 So, how do we grow in forgiveness? 00:18:37.119 --> 00:18:39.200 I want to teach you the reach model by Dr. 00:18:39.279 --> 00:18:40.480 Everett Worthington. 00:18:40.640 --> 00:18:40.799 Dr. 00:18:40.880 --> 00:18:46.240 Everett Worthington is the foremost uh researcher uh on forgiveness. 00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:54.559 He's a Christian psychologist, and he doesn't just research it, he knows it to the depths of one of the most painful experiences. 00:18:54.720 --> 00:18:59.680 His mother was murdered in a home invasion, which started this whole process. 00:18:59.759 --> 00:19:01.680 So this is not theory. 00:19:02.240 --> 00:19:11.599 And this model actually has been researched and clinically tested as the most effective way for us to grow and learn to forgive people. 00:19:11.759 --> 00:19:14.319 The reach model first is recall the hurt. 00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:18.319 Not ruminate on the hurt, not play it over and over, but recall it. 00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:19.680 I was hurt. 00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:21.200 This hurt. 00:19:21.839 --> 00:19:25.519 As best as you can, just get to the facts. 00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:35.039 We tend to jump to the emotives of the other person and why they did what they did, but simply recall the hurt to heal. 00:19:35.119 --> 00:19:38.000 You have to first face the fact that you've been hurt. 00:19:38.240 --> 00:19:47.119 Make up your mind not to be snarky, nasty, hurtful, not to treat yourself like a victim or not to treat the other person as a joke, uh, as a jerk. 00:19:48.559 --> 00:19:55.279 Joseph, he names the betrayal, he recalls the pain because healing starts when you stop hiding the wound. 00:19:55.920 --> 00:20:00.400 And for many of us in the room, we go, yeah, that they can't hurt me. 00:20:00.720 --> 00:20:01.759 That didn't hurt. 00:20:02.160 --> 00:20:03.119 I'm fine. 00:20:04.319 --> 00:20:06.400 No, you're not, my friend. 00:20:06.720 --> 00:20:08.079 You have to name it first. 00:20:08.240 --> 00:20:09.119 This hurts. 00:20:10.079 --> 00:20:13.839 Second, and this is gonna be hard, empathize. 00:20:15.519 --> 00:20:19.119 Empathy is the ability to step into someone else's story. 00:20:19.839 --> 00:20:22.880 It's putting yourself in the other person's chair. 00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:29.200 Not to excuse what they did, but to understand what might have led them there. 00:20:29.599 --> 00:20:37.039 It's seeing the humanity in the other person who hurt you to understand their brokenness. 00:20:38.559 --> 00:20:40.319 One practice that Dr. 00:20:40.559 --> 00:20:44.720 Worthington gives us says this, and you might want to try it. 00:20:45.920 --> 00:20:49.200 Pretend that the other person is in an empty chair across from you. 00:20:49.440 --> 00:20:51.359 Talk to him, pour your heart out. 00:20:51.519 --> 00:20:55.920 Then, when you've had your say, sit in his chair. 00:20:56.160 --> 00:21:02.079 Talk back to the imaginary you in a way that helps you see why the other person might have wronged you. 00:21:02.319 --> 00:21:15.680 This builds empathy, and even if you can't empathize, you might feel more sympathy, compassion, or love, which helps you heal from the hurt and allows you to give what's most important, an altruistic gift. 00:21:16.559 --> 00:21:19.920 Altruistic just means selfless or unselfish. 00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:29.680 Forgiveness is a gift you give not because they deserve it, but because you've already received it. 00:21:30.319 --> 00:21:34.079 Give forgiveness as an unselfish, altruistic gift. 00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:35.279 I'm giving this. 00:21:35.440 --> 00:21:37.359 I'm putting down my right. 00:21:37.839 --> 00:21:40.640 You don't deserve this, it is a gift. 00:21:40.799 --> 00:21:44.000 That's why give is in the middle of forgiveness. 00:21:49.839 --> 00:21:52.000 And then C, commit. 00:21:54.079 --> 00:21:55.759 Forgiveness, Dr. 00:21:55.839 --> 00:21:59.759 Worthington will talk about, is two types of forgiveness the decision. 00:22:00.480 --> 00:22:03.359 Forgiveness and then emotional forgiveness. 00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:05.599 Commit, you make a decision. 00:22:05.920 --> 00:22:08.480 I forgive you for. 00:22:09.039 --> 00:22:10.480 In fact, write it down. 00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:12.960 Who's the person that you're holding the remote control? 00:22:13.200 --> 00:22:14.079 Write it down. 00:22:14.319 --> 00:22:15.119 I decide. 00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:17.359 You may not feel like it yet. 00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:19.920 You have this decisional forgiveness. 00:22:20.079 --> 00:22:26.240 And as you decide and you choose, what happens is your emotions begin to follow your decisions. 00:22:26.640 --> 00:22:31.759 What happens to us is we wait until we feel like forgiving and we'll never get there. 00:22:32.480 --> 00:22:33.200 You commit. 00:22:33.279 --> 00:22:34.319 I make a commitment. 00:22:34.559 --> 00:22:45.759 I put down my right of revenge, my right for control, my right to have this power over you, my right to feel this way about you, my right to hold bitterness and contempt and hatred. 00:22:45.920 --> 00:22:51.920 I put that down today, this day, this Sunday, I decide to forgive you. 00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:55.359 You may need to just write it on your notes right now. 00:22:55.519 --> 00:22:56.880 Who is that person? 00:22:58.640 --> 00:23:02.160 And then hold on to forgiveness. 00:23:02.559 --> 00:23:04.880 And this is the process of forgiving. 00:23:05.119 --> 00:23:11.279 Because what inevitably happens, especially the deeper the wound, the deeper the hurt, the deeper the pain, is we pick it back up, don't we? 00:23:11.359 --> 00:23:12.400 We forget that we decided. 00:23:12.480 --> 00:23:14.480 We go like, well, I picked up my right again. 00:23:14.559 --> 00:23:18.480 I picked up my revenge, my anger. 00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:20.960 That's why writing it down is so powerful. 00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:23.759 It helps us remember why. 00:23:23.920 --> 00:23:24.640 Oh, that's right. 00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:25.200 I decided. 00:23:25.279 --> 00:23:28.079 No, I'm gonna put it, hold on to it. 00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:33.759 Joseph, years and years later, we're gonna conclude with this next week. 00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:36.559 His father died. 00:23:37.279 --> 00:23:45.119 And his brothers were like, okay, you hold the remote, and are you gonna pick up the power and the control again? 00:23:46.799 --> 00:23:50.880 But Joseph said to them, do not be afraid. 00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:53.519 Am I in the place of God? 00:23:54.720 --> 00:23:57.279 Only God holds that power, should hold that power. 00:23:57.440 --> 00:23:58.799 Am I in the place of God? 00:23:59.119 --> 00:24:00.480 You intended to harm me. 00:24:00.559 --> 00:24:01.519 Yes, that's true. 00:24:01.599 --> 00:24:07.839 We're not gonna skirt around the facts, but God, my favorite, like two words in scripture right there. 00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:13.599 We're gonna preach two words next week, but God, because when God enters your story, he changes it. 00:24:13.920 --> 00:24:28.480 But God, you intended this, and friends, forgiveness is the pathway for you to experience and look back and see the but God moments of what he's doing in and through your story and stop reliving your past and your pain and living it and being defined by it. 00:24:29.039 --> 00:24:36.319 But God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 00:24:36.640 --> 00:24:46.799 Hold on, reach, recall, empathize, altruistic gift, commit and hold on. 00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:49.759 And here's the reality: I know it. 00:24:49.920 --> 00:24:52.640 I can hear it, I can actually feel it from you. 00:24:54.480 --> 00:25:00.319 But Ryan, not but God, but Ryan, I can't forgive them. 00:25:01.200 --> 00:25:06.880 You don't understand what they've done, the pain they've caused. 00:25:08.480 --> 00:25:11.680 What they did was inexcusable. 00:25:14.799 --> 00:25:20.319 And it's precisely because it was inexcusable that it needs to be forgiven. 00:25:24.720 --> 00:25:35.039 Forgiveness will always feel costly until we remember what it costs Jesus for us. 00:25:35.440 --> 00:25:38.079 Forgiveness is powerful, forgiveness is a practice. 00:25:38.480 --> 00:25:40.960 Forgiveness, friends, is the Jesus way. 00:25:41.039 --> 00:25:46.160 It's not just the better way, it is the Jesus way. 00:25:50.559 --> 00:25:54.720 Jesus' first words from the cross. 00:25:56.640 --> 00:26:03.039 Jesus' first words from the cross was, now you're gonna get it. 00:26:05.680 --> 00:26:11.920 I'm gonna call all of the heavenly realm and have it unleashed on you. 00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:13.119 How could you? 00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:14.160 What were you thinking? 00:26:14.400 --> 00:26:18.160 The creator steps into the creation and you crucify me? 00:26:18.400 --> 00:26:19.599 Are you kidding me? 00:26:19.839 --> 00:26:21.599 How could you not get it? 00:26:25.359 --> 00:26:28.240 Jesus' first words from the cross. 00:26:29.359 --> 00:26:36.319 Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do. 00:26:37.920 --> 00:26:40.799 Father, forgive them. 00:26:41.119 --> 00:26:48.000 One of his twelve betrayed him twenty-four hours ago, or less than. 00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:51.119 The other disciples deserted him. 00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:58.640 The crowd that once cried out, Hosanna, Hosanna, now cried out, crucify him. 00:26:58.799 --> 00:27:04.160 The religious leaders who were supposed to know and recognize God, they knew the word of God. 00:27:04.400 --> 00:27:14.000 They're the ones who plotted his murder, unjustly accused and tried him and sent him before Rome and called for his execution. 00:27:14.160 --> 00:27:16.480 And Rome pulled it off. 00:27:16.559 --> 00:27:22.720 And his first words were, Father, forgive them. 00:27:34.559 --> 00:27:37.599 Forgiveness is the Jesus way. 00:27:40.799 --> 00:27:57.759 Jerry Sitzer, in his book A Grace Disguise, writes this: Once we see ourselves as people who need God's mercy, we will be more likely to show mercy to others. 00:27:59.839 --> 00:28:03.279 Again, Jerry Sitzer, fantastic book. 00:28:05.519 --> 00:28:14.160 On a night driving home, a drunk driver creamed into their car, killing his mother, his wife, and his daughter. 00:28:18.640 --> 00:28:21.039 Two other kids as a single father. 00:28:23.599 --> 00:28:25.279 This is not theory. 00:28:34.240 --> 00:28:50.160 The gospel is that our standing before God is that He has placed everything, the remote, the power, and placed it onto Jesus that we might have freedom and forgiveness. 00:28:51.440 --> 00:28:56.400 And the reality is the hardest person for you to forgive may not be out there. 00:28:56.480 --> 00:28:58.960 It might be the person that's looking you in the mirror. 00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:08.880 That you've been holding the remote over yourself, replaying regret, shame, failure. 00:29:09.119 --> 00:29:13.440 And it's time to hand that to God. 00:29:17.680 --> 00:29:19.200 It's as simple as simply this. 00:29:19.359 --> 00:29:21.759 I admit, I admit my brokenness. 00:29:21.839 --> 00:29:24.400 I admit, yeah, that recall to hurt. 00:29:24.720 --> 00:29:25.359 I did that. 00:29:25.519 --> 00:29:26.480 I meant my shame. 00:29:26.559 --> 00:29:28.079 I meant my regrets. 00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:30.640 I admit my sin, my brokenness. 00:29:31.440 --> 00:29:37.359 And I believe you, Jesus, hung on the cross and you spoke a better word over my life. 00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:40.079 You didn't speak the word of shame and condemnation. 00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:42.160 You spoke the word of forgiveness. 00:29:42.480 --> 00:29:43.759 Forgive them. 00:29:44.640 --> 00:29:54.480 That your standing as a follower of Jesus is not somehow eking your way towards God, somehow trying to be good enough. 00:29:54.640 --> 00:30:02.720 Your standing is fully forgiven, daughter and son of the King Most High, because he took it all for us. 00:30:05.759 --> 00:30:08.240 I admit, God, this is where I'm at. 00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:18.880 And I believe you came for me and you died for me and you rose to new life that I might have life in you. 00:30:21.119 --> 00:30:25.599 Scripture says, anyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved. 00:30:25.759 --> 00:30:30.400 You cry out, Jesus, would you be the leader and rescuer of my heart, of my life? 00:30:30.559 --> 00:30:34.640 And he answers that every time. 00:30:38.079 --> 00:30:40.480 See, this isn't just a gathering. 00:30:40.960 --> 00:30:42.160 We forget this. 00:30:44.240 --> 00:30:46.880 This is a gathering of the forgiven. 00:30:49.039 --> 00:30:56.240 This is a gathering of those who have experienced the depths and the beauty and the mercy of Jesus. 00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:05.119 And the reality is, is forgiven people forgive people. 00:31:06.480 --> 00:31:08.640 Because forgiveness is the way of Jesus. 00:31:08.880 --> 00:31:10.240 It's the better way. 00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:14.880 That's why the Apostle Paul said this: be kind and compassionate to one another. 00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:17.119 Forgiving others. 00:31:17.440 --> 00:31:19.680 Just as in Christ, God what? 00:31:21.519 --> 00:31:22.400 God what? 00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:31.759 As we close, we're going to partake in communion together. 00:31:33.759 --> 00:31:37.359 And I want to invite you into a moment of release. 00:31:40.319 --> 00:31:42.240 I want you to take a moment. 00:31:44.079 --> 00:31:47.119 Who's on the other end of the remote for you? 00:31:50.240 --> 00:31:54.000 Whose name still holds power over your peace? 00:32:00.400 --> 00:32:09.839 And before we take communion, his body broken for us, his blood poured out for us, the bread and the juice represent that. 00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:20.880 I want you to take a moment of God, I decide in this moment to release my right for revenge. 00:32:21.680 --> 00:32:23.839 I'm going to just begin that step. 00:32:25.759 --> 00:32:27.039 God, I'm in this moment. 00:32:27.200 --> 00:32:34.720 I want to want to even think about the possibility of reconciliation. 00:32:39.200 --> 00:32:41.519 Jesus, thank you for forgiving me. 00:32:44.640 --> 00:32:49.680 Thank you that my identity isn't in what I've done or where I've been or what's been done to me. 00:32:49.839 --> 00:32:52.559 My identity is what you have done for me. 00:32:54.559 --> 00:32:56.480 And what you say is true. 00:33:06.400 --> 00:33:08.319 But take this moment. 00:33:13.279 --> 00:33:21.920 And allow the healing work of Jesus through this powerful practice of forgiveness take place. 00:33:23.119 --> 00:33:33.519 Jesus, I pray for my friends as we remind ourselves of your great love and sacrifice, your forgiveness. 00:33:34.160 --> 00:33:42.480 Would you overwhelm us with that reality as the wounds and the hurt and the pains in this room and the remotes that we've been holding? 00:33:42.640 --> 00:33:46.720 God, some of us have been holding on to them for years and decades. 00:33:49.599 --> 00:33:57.440 And so Jesus made us in your grace and your love and your forgiveness. 00:33:57.839 --> 00:34:00.400 Draw us to your feet. 00:34:02.720 --> 00:34:03.759 Help us. 00:34:04.480 --> 00:34:06.319 Help us to forgive. 00:34:06.799 --> 00:34:08.480 In Jesus' name. 00:34:10.800 --> 00:34:13.119 We hope you are blessed by this message. 00:34:13.280 --> 00:34:17.760 Please subscribe to our podcast for access to every episode as they're uploaded. 00:34:17.920 --> 00:34:20.000 And hey, we'd love to connect with you. 00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:26.079 Take a next step by filling out our virtual connection card at awakeningchurch.com slash card.