WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:02.399 Welcome to the Awakening Church podcast. 00:00:02.560 --> 00:00:07.040 We pray this message encourages you and provides the hope and light of Jesus Christ. 00:00:07.200 --> 00:00:08.640 Thanks for tuning in. 00:00:19.519 --> 00:00:22.079 Well, good morning, Awakening Church. 00:00:22.239 --> 00:00:23.519 Great to be with you. 00:00:23.600 --> 00:00:27.839 You can go ahead and find your seats. 00:00:28.000 --> 00:00:31.600 We're continuing our series, Messy Spirituality. 00:00:34.960 --> 00:00:42.079 Um I came this close to walking away from my faith. 00:00:43.840 --> 00:00:53.520 I was twenty two, newly married, studying theology, and I had a crisis of faith. 00:00:54.399 --> 00:01:03.039 What if everything I believed, everything I'm building my life upon, wasn't true. 00:01:04.879 --> 00:01:08.560 It started actually, believe it or not, in a theology class. 00:01:08.719 --> 00:01:21.280 I had a professor who began to describe God and his sovereignty in this way that God is to the world like Shakespeare is to Romeo and Juliet. 00:01:22.079 --> 00:01:30.079 Not that just God is all-powerful, but God has written every single detail of life, every decision, every tragedy, every sin. 00:01:31.040 --> 00:01:36.560 If that's true, well then God is the author of both good and evil. 00:01:36.719 --> 00:01:41.920 Everything is already scripted, nothing we do really matters. 00:01:42.239 --> 00:01:44.239 No choice, no freedom. 00:01:45.840 --> 00:01:53.760 And I remember wrestling and thinking, if that is who God is, I don't want anything to do with him. 00:01:56.719 --> 00:01:59.760 It was incredible disorienting. 00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:07.519 It was like a thread that began to unravel everything and suddenly questions just came rushing in. 00:02:08.080 --> 00:02:10.719 Is there really a God after all? 00:02:11.360 --> 00:02:12.479 How do I know? 00:02:12.639 --> 00:02:15.919 What kind of God being forces out there? 00:02:16.080 --> 00:02:18.879 What do we do with this Jesus person? 00:02:19.360 --> 00:02:21.439 Is the Bible reliable? 00:02:23.439 --> 00:02:30.159 Is there any meaning or purpose to this crazy life after all? 00:02:30.400 --> 00:02:34.639 And at the same time, I was desperately afraid to ask these questions. 00:02:34.800 --> 00:02:49.439 One, because I was afraid of the answers I might find, afraid that I had a faith that just was like a house of cards, it just would collapse upon investigation, but then afraid to ever speak it out loud. 00:02:51.199 --> 00:02:56.240 Because I was afraid I would betray those I loved most. 00:02:57.840 --> 00:03:02.400 Betray my family, my wife, those I love. 00:03:02.719 --> 00:03:07.039 And so I didn't tell a soul, not even Jenny. 00:03:08.479 --> 00:03:15.520 At first I just tried to ignore it, push it down, hope it goes away, but month after month it persisted. 00:03:15.599 --> 00:03:17.280 The dissonance grew. 00:03:17.759 --> 00:03:24.000 I couldn't continue the path of becoming a pastor if I didn't really believe this stuff. 00:03:24.800 --> 00:03:33.280 Now my whole future, my new marriage, and my foundation for life just felt shaky. 00:03:35.599 --> 00:03:53.840 Sadly, my perception of the church and experience was a bit that church is the place where you get all of your answers, but not necessarily the place that you can come and have your questions wrestle with your doubts and struggles. 00:03:54.639 --> 00:03:55.840 And so what do you do? 00:03:56.000 --> 00:04:02.479 What do you do when God feels distant, silent, or absent? 00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:08.400 What do you do if you're struggling with doubt? 00:04:08.800 --> 00:04:11.439 The sermon title today is When in Doubt. 00:04:11.599 --> 00:04:12.800 Would you say that with me? 00:04:13.039 --> 00:04:15.840 When in doubt try it again. 00:04:16.639 --> 00:04:18.160 When in doubt. 00:04:18.639 --> 00:04:25.120 One of the things I love about the Bible is how refreshingly honest it is. 00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:27.519 It doesn't sugarcoat things. 00:04:27.839 --> 00:04:32.959 It doesn't, you know, present people as perfect. 00:04:33.120 --> 00:04:38.879 In fact, it presents very human people, broken people. 00:04:39.279 --> 00:04:46.720 It's honest about struggling and wrestling and doubting all through the pages. 00:04:47.120 --> 00:04:48.720 The heroes of the faith. 00:04:48.879 --> 00:04:51.839 This is one of the reasons I find the Bible incredibly reliable. 00:04:51.920 --> 00:04:52.720 There's many more. 00:04:52.879 --> 00:04:58.800 But one of the reasons is you would never write this stuff if it wasn't true. 00:04:59.199 --> 00:05:08.959 You would never want to present yourself or anyone else in that kind of light of doubting, of struggling, of failing. 00:05:09.360 --> 00:05:20.800 In fact, there's one person, one disciple, uh, who struggled with doubt so significantly that history gave him a nickname. 00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:21.920 Do you know what his name is? 00:05:23.199 --> 00:05:25.439 Yeah, you know him, doubting Thomas. 00:05:25.680 --> 00:05:26.399 Poor guy. 00:05:26.959 --> 00:05:30.959 Throughout all history, he got the name Doubting Thomas. 00:05:31.279 --> 00:05:36.160 And it's his story that I want us to turn, John chapter 20, verse 24. 00:05:36.319 --> 00:05:41.199 This is more than a story about a person who doubted. 00:05:41.279 --> 00:05:50.480 It's a story about how Jesus responds to those followers who aren't sure what to believe anymore. 00:05:50.879 --> 00:05:55.199 The context: Jesus has just risen from the dead. 00:05:55.519 --> 00:05:58.560 Three days before that, he was executed on a Roman cross. 00:05:58.720 --> 00:06:00.560 He was buried in a tomb. 00:06:00.800 --> 00:06:05.360 All hope of this new movement, the way, is annihilated. 00:06:05.519 --> 00:06:11.680 The disciples are discouraged, defeated, disillusioned, they are afraid for their very lives, they've gone into hiding. 00:06:11.839 --> 00:06:14.639 And then Easter Sunday morning happens. 00:06:14.800 --> 00:06:16.639 Jesus rises from the dead. 00:06:16.879 --> 00:06:20.639 They see him, they believe, and hope springs forth. 00:06:20.959 --> 00:06:23.040 And we pick it up in verse 20. 00:06:23.120 --> 00:06:26.639 Now, Thomas, also known as Didymus, he was a twin. 00:06:26.720 --> 00:06:27.680 That's what Didymus means. 00:06:27.839 --> 00:06:28.399 He was a twin. 00:06:28.639 --> 00:06:33.920 One of the twelve was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 00:06:34.079 --> 00:06:41.439 Now we don't know why he wasn't with the disciples, but isn't there something to when we grieve, we just isolate ourselves? 00:06:41.759 --> 00:06:43.360 We just withdraw. 00:06:43.920 --> 00:06:50.480 And if we're honest, when we withdraw, when we isolate, almost always nothing good grows. 00:06:51.279 --> 00:06:53.600 And so he isolated, he was alone. 00:06:53.920 --> 00:06:57.920 So the other disciples told him, We have seen the Lord. 00:06:58.079 --> 00:07:01.600 And you can imagine their excitement, their joy as they're coming to him. 00:07:01.759 --> 00:07:13.600 And then Tom says this unless I see the nails marked in his hand and put my finger where the nails were and put my hand into his side, I will not believe. 00:07:15.360 --> 00:07:22.160 And the reality is, you would be, and I would be in the same place as Tom. 00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:34.879 How many executed criminals on a Roman cross that was buried have you seen come back to life? 00:07:35.920 --> 00:07:39.439 Over the course of your life, Thomas, tell me, how many have you seen? 00:07:39.839 --> 00:07:41.040 Well, zero. 00:07:42.079 --> 00:07:42.399 Okay. 00:07:43.680 --> 00:07:46.560 Well, that's the track record we have. 00:07:47.120 --> 00:07:47.759 Zero. 00:07:49.360 --> 00:07:50.959 He's grieving. 00:07:51.920 --> 00:07:55.759 He doesn't have a category for a resurrection. 00:07:56.560 --> 00:07:59.279 He's I I gotta see the proof. 00:08:00.160 --> 00:08:04.399 I don't know what you guys ate last night, but it was funky. 00:08:05.519 --> 00:08:33.679 And then notice verse 26, a week later, a week later, eight days later, the following Sunday later, not a few hours later, not later that day, not early in the week, an entire week went by where Thomas is sitting in this unknown, sitting with these questions, sitting with this wrestling, sitting with his closest friends who say we've seen him, and he's like, I don't believe it, I don't buy it. 00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:37.200 His disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. 00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:40.240 Thank God he returned back to community. 00:08:40.480 --> 00:08:46.879 Though the doors were locked, Jesus came in and stood among them and said, His first words, peace. 00:08:48.399 --> 00:08:49.840 Peace be with you. 00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:56.480 The struggles, the storms, the doubting, the angst, my first words, the Savior's first words is peace. 00:08:56.559 --> 00:08:58.080 Then he turns to Thomas. 00:08:59.440 --> 00:09:01.600 Put your finger here. 00:09:02.720 --> 00:09:03.840 See my hands. 00:09:04.000 --> 00:09:06.879 Reach out your hand and put it in my side. 00:09:07.120 --> 00:09:09.120 Stop doubting and believe. 00:09:10.320 --> 00:09:23.279 And Thomas, with this, this is the most significant declaration of the deity and personhood of Jesus and the Gospel of John, and it comes from doubting Thomas after he sees the resurrected Lord. 00:09:24.399 --> 00:09:27.360 My Lord and my God. 00:09:28.399 --> 00:09:32.799 And Jesus told him, Because you have seen me, you have believed. 00:09:32.960 --> 00:09:39.279 Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed. 00:09:40.559 --> 00:09:52.799 Jesus, we invite you here to speak to us, to meet us in the deep waters of doubting and wrestling. 00:09:55.200 --> 00:10:04.240 May we experience your peace and your presence here in this moment. 00:10:04.879 --> 00:10:06.159 In Jesus' name. 00:10:07.440 --> 00:10:08.080 Amen. 00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:18.879 Walter Brugerman, in his treatment of the Psalms, he's a theologian, describes a rhythm of life and faith in three movements. 00:10:19.679 --> 00:10:25.840 You find this all throughout the Psalms that human beings are regularly finding themselves in one of three places. 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:29.279 He talks first about the place of orientation. 00:10:29.600 --> 00:10:34.080 Orientation, a season where life is predictable, stable, secure. 00:10:34.320 --> 00:10:41.120 It's characterized by confidence in God's order and justice, often reflecting creation, wisdom, or even covenantal themes. 00:10:41.279 --> 00:10:44.879 These are psalms like Psalm 8, Psalm 19, Psalm 104. 00:10:45.440 --> 00:10:55.519 And then he talks about another place that we find ourselves in, another rhythm, from moving from orientation to disorientation. 00:10:55.919 --> 00:11:01.840 Disorientation is a time of chaos, loss, and pain where the old, predictable world collapses. 00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:09.600 This represents a time of grief, injustice, abandonment, forcing an honest, sometimes angry dialogue with God. 00:11:09.840 --> 00:11:18.960 In the Psalms, we see Psalm 13, 74, 88 talk about this disorientation, orientation, disorientation. 00:11:19.120 --> 00:11:22.960 Then the third rhythm or phase, reorientation. 00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:33.840 A surprising new stage that emerges after a crisis, not by returning to the old normal, but by finding a new, transformed, and more nuanced reality. 00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:40.480 It is characterized by gratitude and a deeper, more profound awareness of God's grace. 00:11:41.120 --> 00:11:42.080 Orientation. 00:11:42.720 --> 00:11:44.000 Disorientation. 00:11:44.879 --> 00:11:46.080 Reorientation. 00:11:46.879 --> 00:11:47.840 Reorientation. 00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:50.159 Psalm 30, 34, 150. 00:11:50.799 --> 00:11:54.720 Doubt is a season, friends, of disorientation. 00:11:56.080 --> 00:11:59.039 We don't talk about it well in the West. 00:12:00.080 --> 00:12:06.240 And unfortunately, too many people find themselves adrift, losing their faith, feeling lost and alone. 00:12:08.000 --> 00:12:12.720 What do you do when your God feels distant, silent, or absence? 00:12:13.039 --> 00:12:17.360 What do you do when you're struggling with doubt? 00:12:18.320 --> 00:12:22.320 When in doubt, I want to just remind us of a few things. 00:12:23.120 --> 00:12:28.879 First thing is something that we all actually know to be true, but we forget so often. 00:12:29.039 --> 00:12:30.320 And the first thing is simply this. 00:12:30.480 --> 00:12:34.000 When in doubt, remember this, everyone lives by faith. 00:12:34.960 --> 00:12:37.200 Faith is not a religious thing, friends. 00:12:37.360 --> 00:12:39.200 Faith is a human thing. 00:12:39.759 --> 00:12:42.799 Every single person on the planet lives by faith. 00:12:42.879 --> 00:12:46.879 In fact, you exuded extraordinary amounts of faith just to get here today. 00:12:47.039 --> 00:12:57.279 You woke up, you turned on your car, uh, with some of it has a um a combustible engine, and you had faith it would not combust on you. 00:12:57.440 --> 00:13:05.679 Um, that it would work exactly as you thought it would work, or you had an electric vehicle with a battery that could melt your face. 00:13:05.840 --> 00:13:07.600 Okay, anyways, uh, right? 00:13:08.080 --> 00:13:16.159 But you had faith that that vehicle would operate and function the way you thought it would function and get you from point A to point B safely. 00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:32.480 And then you had this immense amount of faith that the other people on the road, this is insane, that the other people on the road would follow the same rules that you follow so that there would be order and they would not collide into you, hopefully, in Silicon Valley. 00:13:32.559 --> 00:13:35.440 We're not so good at this, but we do it from time to time. 00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:37.600 It's incredible. 00:13:38.240 --> 00:13:42.159 What you're doing right now, you don't even realize is an act of faith. 00:13:42.240 --> 00:13:44.559 You came in here, and you know what you did? 00:13:46.320 --> 00:13:47.600 You sat down. 00:13:48.720 --> 00:13:58.960 I did not see one person, by the way, not one person investigate, test their chair to determine if it is sturdy enough to hold them. 00:13:59.440 --> 00:14:06.320 You assumed, you presumed that it's a chair, and as a result, I put my faith in, I put my weight on it, I just sat down on it. 00:14:06.480 --> 00:14:07.440 That's faith. 00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:11.519 All of us, all of us, life is faith. 00:14:11.759 --> 00:14:13.039 It is constant. 00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:16.799 In fact, atheists live by faith. 00:14:17.679 --> 00:14:21.600 I would say they live by more faith than anybody else on the planet. 00:14:21.840 --> 00:14:27.919 Do you know how much faith it takes to believe that something came from nothing? 00:14:29.039 --> 00:14:29.679 Do you know? 00:14:29.840 --> 00:14:31.759 I mean, come on, think about this. 00:14:31.919 --> 00:14:41.279 Do you know how much faith it takes to believe that chaos brought about order, design, and a fine-tuned universe? 00:14:41.679 --> 00:14:44.000 We don't see that anywhere ever. 00:14:44.159 --> 00:14:48.879 The laws of thermodynamics tell us it's the exact opposite, and yet they have faith, it does it. 00:14:49.360 --> 00:14:52.320 And faith, oh my goodness, that think about this. 00:14:52.879 --> 00:15:03.600 That non-reason produced a rational, reasonable being that could actually intellectually think about and relate and understand the world around them. 00:15:06.240 --> 00:15:09.919 I don't have enough faith to be an atheist, by the way. 00:15:10.960 --> 00:15:22.240 The reality is this: everyone is taking someone else's word about life, about purpose, about meaning, about destiny, and about eternity. 00:15:22.639 --> 00:15:33.600 Personally, just as me, just personally, personally, I just happen to take the person who predicted his death and resurrection and then did it. 00:15:33.759 --> 00:15:38.559 I'm just gonna take his word about life and meaning and purpose and all those other things. 00:15:38.720 --> 00:15:39.600 That's just me. 00:15:39.919 --> 00:15:41.039 That's just me. 00:15:42.639 --> 00:15:47.200 But Ryan, if we all live by faith, why do we doubt? 00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:49.360 Why do we have these doubts? 00:15:49.679 --> 00:15:51.360 Let me just give you a few reasons. 00:15:51.519 --> 00:15:57.279 These aren't exhaustive, but hopefully you'll find maybe where you've been or where you currently are at. 00:15:57.440 --> 00:16:00.399 We doubt uh because of silence, don't we? 00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:02.960 We doubt when God is silent. 00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:07.279 We doubt because of unanswered prayers, when God feels distant. 00:16:08.240 --> 00:16:16.480 The experience of a new believer is God is especially active, answering prayers, and then there's a season of what it feels like God withdrawing his presence. 00:16:16.720 --> 00:16:16.960 St. 00:16:17.200 --> 00:16:21.600 John of the Cross called it the dark night of the soul. 00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:27.279 Like a mother weaning her child, so God weans his kids so they can grow and mature. 00:16:27.519 --> 00:16:30.480 I remember my mentor explaining it this way to me. 00:16:30.720 --> 00:16:40.879 And um, when our kids were little, it's fun, we have grown kids now, uh, and they're home, you know, for birthday stuff, it's the house is full. 00:16:41.039 --> 00:16:46.559 Um, when our kids were little, uh, potty training, it's a big deal, by the way. 00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:56.320 And um, so every time they went potty on the potty, we threw a party. 00:16:56.639 --> 00:16:58.320 It's a potty party. 00:16:58.559 --> 00:17:00.720 Yeah, every parent does this. 00:17:01.039 --> 00:17:06.880 When you go poop on the potty, it's like, woo, because it's not here, it's not there, it's right there, it's where it's supposed to be. 00:17:07.039 --> 00:17:12.960 You throw a party, you celebrate, you got candy for throwing, you know, going on the potty. 00:17:13.519 --> 00:17:17.119 We have not thrown one potty party this weekend. 00:17:18.240 --> 00:17:19.119 We haven't. 00:17:19.359 --> 00:17:23.440 And you might go, wow, you are just an unfair, terrible human of a dad. 00:17:23.680 --> 00:17:30.799 No, because there's something at this stage in life that is appropriate in your development and in your growth and maturity that we're gonna celebrate. 00:17:30.880 --> 00:17:35.440 But when you're over here and you're growing and maturing, we don't celebrate those things anymore. 00:17:35.519 --> 00:17:39.039 There's new things as a dad that and a mom that we celebrate. 00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:47.839 And what happens in the dissonance for some of you right now is you're so used and leaning and said, God, you're not showing up in the way you once used to show up. 00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:50.640 He's like, Yeah, because you have grown beyond that. 00:17:50.880 --> 00:17:52.559 I'm meeting you over here. 00:17:55.920 --> 00:18:03.359 And so we feel like God is withdrawn and he's going, No, actually, I'm helping draw you out into deeper waters. 00:18:03.920 --> 00:18:07.920 We doubt because of the silence of God, we doubt because of suffering, don't we? 00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:11.200 Not just when God is silent, but when life hurts. 00:18:11.839 --> 00:18:22.400 The pain, the tragedy, the heartache, the evil, the injustice personally, the trauma, globally. 00:18:23.839 --> 00:18:31.680 Like, how can a good God allow so much pain and suffering in our world? 00:18:32.240 --> 00:18:34.079 It's one of life's biggest questions. 00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:39.039 In fact, uh, after Easter, our series after Easter is on life's biggest questions. 00:18:39.200 --> 00:18:41.440 I want your help to come up with the series. 00:18:41.519 --> 00:18:53.599 Uh, we're gonna start giving you um kind of helping to ask questions, and you'll fill that in, and we'll take the five biggest questions that is facing our community of like around life's biggest questions. 00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:55.759 We'll answer those for five weeks. 00:18:56.160 --> 00:18:58.559 But I guarantee you this will be one of them. 00:19:00.480 --> 00:19:04.319 When life's hard, it's disorienting. 00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:11.200 We doubt in the suffering, don't we? 00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:15.920 We doubt because of church hurt. 00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:38.000 When someone we looked up to failed us, whether there's abuse or moral failure, what happens is we can unintentionally put our hope and trust in a person and not in Jesus. 00:19:38.720 --> 00:19:43.519 And when they fail us, then our faith begins to unravel, doesn't it? 00:19:46.640 --> 00:19:52.720 And for many, I've heard sat and heard stories of exactly that. 00:19:53.680 --> 00:19:57.599 We doubt uh because of intellectual tension. 00:19:57.920 --> 00:20:00.000 It's my story, it's what I was telling you. 00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:11.920 New information comes, things that you have never thought of before, ways of understanding, questions you had never asked before come in, and you feel this like angst, like it's the very first time you've ever thought of this. 00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:19.200 You watched a TikTok, and this person sounded really, really like, oh whoa, they just debunked everything. 00:20:20.400 --> 00:20:31.359 I I my buddy um went off to college, we were college students, and his freshman year of college, he called me desperate. 00:20:31.519 --> 00:20:32.880 He's a brand new believer. 00:20:33.119 --> 00:20:34.960 He he was so freaked out. 00:20:35.200 --> 00:20:49.839 He said, Ryan, my English professor, he's at San Diego State, my English professor, nothing against San Diego State, my English professor just proved the Bible is uh false. 00:20:50.799 --> 00:20:53.680 I was like, wow, that's amazing, you know. 00:20:54.000 --> 00:20:58.160 I mean, nobody's been able to do that, so how did how did she do that? 00:20:59.680 --> 00:21:06.880 She said Abraham couldn't have written Genesis because he died halfway through it. 00:21:07.920 --> 00:21:15.440 Oh you know, that really would be problematic if anyone thought Abraham actually wrote Genesis. 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:17.759 But nobody does. 00:21:18.720 --> 00:21:20.880 Moses wrote Genesis. 00:21:21.519 --> 00:21:27.519 See, the intellectual tension sometimes, and the reality is, is there's really smart people saying really dumb things. 00:21:28.880 --> 00:21:30.480 Or not in their area. 00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:38.240 Intellectual tension often, though, plays itself out as what I when I sit across the table, coffee shop, is bad theology. 00:21:38.799 --> 00:21:46.000 Somehow God let you down, disappointed you didn't show up in the way you thought, because you thought God exists to make you happy. 00:21:46.559 --> 00:21:48.559 You thought God owes you. 00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:56.000 And so as you did your good little boy, good little girl things, and life didn't turn out the way you thought, you're disillusioned. 00:21:56.480 --> 00:21:59.680 Why we doubt, silence, suffering, church hurt, intellectual. 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:05.440 Tension, and then I think one of the main areas many of us struggle with is shame. 00:22:09.759 --> 00:22:12.720 When we don't feel worthy anymore. 00:22:15.440 --> 00:22:21.759 I mean, I remember wrestling with like, how could I struggle with this after all these years? 00:22:22.000 --> 00:22:23.200 What's wrong with me? 00:22:23.440 --> 00:22:25.039 Am I broken? 00:22:31.599 --> 00:22:35.839 We have repeated sin, secret struggle, and failure. 00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:37.440 And doubt creeps in. 00:22:37.599 --> 00:22:38.720 Maybe I'm not saved. 00:22:38.880 --> 00:22:40.480 Maybe this isn't real. 00:22:40.720 --> 00:22:44.240 And I love Jesus' response to Thomas. 00:22:44.960 --> 00:22:50.400 Jesus doesn't rebuke him for his doubt, and he doesn't shame him. 00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:53.759 He meets him personally. 00:22:54.720 --> 00:22:57.440 And he does not leave him there. 00:22:57.839 --> 00:23:03.920 When in doubt, first need to remember every single person lives by faith. 00:23:04.079 --> 00:23:07.359 Secondly, doubt is not the enemy of faith. 00:23:07.920 --> 00:23:11.839 Somehow we get this inside, like, oh, if I have this, this is the enemy of faith. 00:23:12.079 --> 00:23:16.000 Doubt isn't more often a sacred companion to faith. 00:23:16.559 --> 00:23:19.680 It's part of the faith journey. 00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:30.240 Doubt is, I like how Tim Keller said it, doubt, he says, a faith without some doubts is like the human body without antibodies. 00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:33.039 It's susceptible to attack. 00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:44.480 And here's what I found at 22 that God, the work that He was doing in me, is that an untested faith is actually a fragile faith. 00:23:46.799 --> 00:23:54.640 It's these things that when I realize questions come in and I feel like, oh, I don't think there's an answer to them. 00:23:54.880 --> 00:24:09.279 What I found, and I'll probably say it a few different times, what I found was in and through this process, I have a God big enough for every question that I have. 00:24:10.720 --> 00:24:23.839 It brought about a settled conviction so that when questions arise, they no longer toss me to and fro like a wave, but I go, I have a God big enough for this one. 00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:28.880 So, how does Jesus respond to our doubt? 00:24:30.799 --> 00:24:32.799 Did you notice what he does? 00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:34.880 First, Jesus comes near. 00:24:37.279 --> 00:24:39.279 He wasn't put off by Thomas's doubt. 00:24:39.359 --> 00:24:40.799 He wasn't standoffish. 00:24:41.039 --> 00:24:45.200 Jesus always draws near to the broken heart. 00:24:45.759 --> 00:24:49.759 And when you're really struggling, really wrestling, you're brokenhearted. 00:24:53.359 --> 00:25:02.319 He draws nearer to those who are earnestly searching for the way, earnestly searching for truth, earnestly longing for life. 00:25:02.640 --> 00:25:05.680 Now the problem is Jesus' timing. 00:25:05.759 --> 00:25:07.359 Let's talk about timing. 00:25:10.880 --> 00:25:18.160 I mean, he could have shown up like he said, I ain't believing until I see it, until I touch him. 00:25:19.279 --> 00:25:22.799 And Jesus could have gone, boom, here I am, Tom. 00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:25.279 And he didn't. 00:25:27.119 --> 00:25:29.519 He didn't even come the next day. 00:25:31.200 --> 00:25:38.720 An entire week went by where he's wrestling, where he's wandering, where he's struggling. 00:25:38.960 --> 00:25:43.920 Jesus meets us precisely when we need him most. 00:25:48.079 --> 00:25:50.079 But is not on our timeline. 00:25:52.960 --> 00:26:02.400 This is the quiet work of God in our lives as you are wrestling and walking through, and some of you are walking through a dark night of the soul, and you're wondering, how long will it be? 00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:03.920 How long do I have? 00:26:04.079 --> 00:26:04.799 Is it a month? 00:26:04.960 --> 00:26:05.599 Is it two months? 00:26:05.839 --> 00:26:06.559 Is it a year? 00:26:06.799 --> 00:26:10.640 And he says, I will be faithful with you through it all. 00:26:13.359 --> 00:26:17.119 First, Jesus comes near, secondly, Jesus speaks peace. 00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:21.680 The same word he spoke when he quieted the storm. 00:26:23.119 --> 00:26:26.480 The first words off Jesus' lips was peace. 00:26:30.480 --> 00:26:34.400 Because what your soul desperately needs isn't answers, you need peace. 00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:42.799 What the doubt has created, the struggles and the questions created confusion and anxiety and depression and lostness. 00:26:42.960 --> 00:26:45.759 And he speaks peace into that moment. 00:26:46.079 --> 00:26:48.799 He speaks his wholeness and brings that. 00:26:48.960 --> 00:26:52.319 He doesn't bring shame into that moment. 00:26:52.480 --> 00:26:53.759 He says peace. 00:26:54.160 --> 00:26:55.920 And then I love this next part. 00:26:57.920 --> 00:27:01.599 Jesus invites investigation. 00:27:03.519 --> 00:27:04.960 Did you notice that? 00:27:07.279 --> 00:27:13.039 He says to Tom, Tom, come see and touch. 00:27:13.200 --> 00:27:14.480 That's what you wanted to do. 00:27:14.559 --> 00:27:16.079 It's not like, what were you thinking? 00:27:16.240 --> 00:27:16.960 Why did you do that? 00:27:17.039 --> 00:27:18.880 No, come see and touch. 00:27:19.279 --> 00:27:30.079 Like there is no question, no problem, no issue that is scary to God, that is off limits to him, that somehow makes him shake. 00:27:30.160 --> 00:27:31.519 Like, oh, don't look over there. 00:27:31.599 --> 00:27:32.559 Don't think about that. 00:27:32.640 --> 00:27:34.640 Don't go like he's like, no, no, no. 00:27:34.799 --> 00:27:38.240 Your God is big, and your God defeated the grave. 00:27:38.400 --> 00:27:40.400 And so come on, bring it. 00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:43.200 He's like, come see. 00:27:46.319 --> 00:27:48.400 Bring to Jesus your questions. 00:27:49.759 --> 00:27:52.160 Bring to Jesus your doubts. 00:27:52.880 --> 00:27:57.680 Bring to Jesus the hurt and the struggle and the worry and your concerns. 00:27:58.240 --> 00:27:59.200 Like how C.S. 00:27:59.359 --> 00:28:04.079 Lewis said, he said, lay before him what is in us. 00:28:05.039 --> 00:28:07.119 Not what ought to be in us. 00:28:09.519 --> 00:28:19.279 That honest soul cry, if you read the psalms, the psalms of disorientation, they lay before him what's in them. 00:28:21.759 --> 00:28:25.440 He can handle it all. 00:28:26.960 --> 00:28:33.599 When in doubt, everyone lives by faith, and doubt is not the enemy of faith. 00:28:34.559 --> 00:28:43.200 What doubt actually has the ability to be in your life and my life, it can become a doorway to a deeper faith. 00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:49.279 I've watched over the years of being a pastor. 00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:56.799 Suffering be a double-edged sword. 00:28:57.759 --> 00:29:08.000 Even in one family, the pain and the suffering, one person they drift away from God, another is drawn towards them. 00:29:09.119 --> 00:29:09.920 Doubt. 00:29:10.559 --> 00:29:12.400 Doubt can be that as well. 00:29:12.559 --> 00:29:15.680 It can derail our faith or deepen our faith. 00:29:20.160 --> 00:29:26.240 One of the things that draws us away is when we move to isolation. 00:29:27.920 --> 00:29:37.039 When we retreat, when we withdraw with community, when we like me feel like we can't speak this out loud, no one understands. 00:29:37.279 --> 00:29:42.240 No one would ever be able to, like, like if I said it, they would like, oh, I can't believe. 00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:47.200 Instead of, you know what, this is a part of my faith journey, and Jesus is gonna meet me here. 00:29:51.200 --> 00:29:58.720 Thomas, doubting Thomas, we already said his cry and declaration, my Lord and my God. 00:30:01.680 --> 00:30:05.119 Seven days ago, I don't believe Jesus rose from the dead. 00:30:05.359 --> 00:30:13.920 Seven days later, not only do I believe Jesus raised from the dead, He I believe He's God, not just a good man, God. 00:30:16.960 --> 00:30:21.599 So I thought I'd tell you why I believe. 00:30:23.440 --> 00:30:31.839 Twenty-three years later, from that moment, why I became a pastor. 00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:38.480 I believe one, because uh it's historical. 00:30:41.920 --> 00:30:46.880 To follow Jesus, you don't have to throw your brain in the trash. 00:30:47.359 --> 00:30:51.440 Faith is not a blind, like you don't think at all. 00:30:51.920 --> 00:31:00.480 And our faith as followers of Jesus, take this right, actually isn't built on a sacred book. 00:31:01.440 --> 00:31:06.000 Our faith is built on a historical event. 00:31:07.359 --> 00:31:09.279 Is my time up already? 00:31:12.640 --> 00:31:15.440 Our faith is built on a historical event. 00:31:15.599 --> 00:31:22.960 If Jesus didn't rise from the dead, then this is the biggest waste of time. 00:31:24.079 --> 00:31:25.519 This is a sham. 00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:27.680 Go have brunch. 00:31:28.720 --> 00:31:36.400 But, friends, if he did rise from the dead, then all that he said is true and trustworthy. 00:31:36.640 --> 00:31:43.759 One of the best attested historical events in antiquity is the resurrection of Jesus. 00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:59.119 Atheists and theists all agree on five historical facts that Jesus one is the real person that lived in Palestine, that he died by Roman crucifixion, that he was buried in a tomb, and on the third day the tomb was empty. 00:31:59.200 --> 00:32:11.279 They don't all agree on how the tomb was empty, but they all agreed the tomb was empty, and that his disciples really believed that he rose from the dead so much so that they died for that fact. 00:32:11.920 --> 00:32:27.920 And even skeptics, antagonistics like Saul of Tarsus, who was trying to snuff out this new movement, said he saw the risen in the Lord and gave his life and became the greatest evangelist spreading the good news. 00:32:29.599 --> 00:32:30.720 Historical. 00:32:40.079 --> 00:32:52.079 Down through the centuries, what you'll find is you'll find so many people who have tried to disprove Jesus, the Bible, and the resurrection, and in their process they've come to know Jesus. 00:32:52.400 --> 00:32:52.559 C. 00:32:52.720 --> 00:32:52.799 S. 00:32:52.880 --> 00:32:54.400 Lewis being one of them, by the way. 00:32:54.799 --> 00:32:54.960 C. 00:32:55.119 --> 00:32:55.200 S. 00:32:55.279 --> 00:33:03.759 Lewis, an atheist, Oxford scholar, went to disprove Christianity, and he became one of the greatest minds of Christianity we ever had. 00:33:04.799 --> 00:33:18.559 A guy who was a journalist, investigative journalist at the Chicago Tribune, Lee Strobel, went to disprove Christianity, became a Christian, wrote a fantastic book called The Case for Christ. 00:33:19.039 --> 00:33:34.240 One of the preeminent and premier scientist of our day, Francis Collins, former atheist, director of the Human Genome Project, and respected globally as a scientist. 00:33:34.799 --> 00:33:42.400 He was searching for scientific reasons to reject God, instead, he found compelling reasons to believe. 00:33:42.559 --> 00:33:45.200 One of the reasons I believe is historical. 00:33:45.599 --> 00:33:48.559 One of the reasons I believe is philosophical. 00:33:49.279 --> 00:33:54.000 I believe Christianity has the best answers to life's biggest questions. 00:33:54.640 --> 00:33:55.440 Period. 00:33:55.920 --> 00:33:57.200 Why am I here? 00:33:57.440 --> 00:33:58.960 What's the purpose of life? 00:33:59.119 --> 00:34:00.240 Is there a God? 00:34:00.960 --> 00:34:04.240 What is morally right and true and beautiful? 00:34:04.559 --> 00:34:05.519 Is there meaning? 00:34:05.759 --> 00:34:10.480 What's wrong with the world and how do you put things right? 00:34:11.039 --> 00:34:27.039 And when I look at the teachings of Jesus that have stood the test of time for over 2,000 years, no one has shaped human history more in ethics, compassion, justice, and human dignity than Jesus. 00:34:29.280 --> 00:34:41.920 His vision of love, embracing the enemy, sacrificial self-giving remains the highest moral vision the world has ever seen. 00:34:42.480 --> 00:34:48.320 Why I believe historical, philosophical. 00:34:51.519 --> 00:34:54.880 The last one is probably the most significant one for me. 00:34:55.679 --> 00:34:56.400 Personal. 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:08.880 After months with wrestling, doubting, struggling silently, I got to a breaking point. 00:35:11.840 --> 00:35:16.000 I got to the place where I was like, I can't keep doing this. 00:35:16.320 --> 00:35:19.519 The dissonance inside was just too great. 00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:25.280 I recognized that leaving the faith meant changing my future. 00:35:25.519 --> 00:35:29.360 I didn't know what to do with my marriage and family relationships. 00:35:30.400 --> 00:35:41.519 Downtown Chicago, I went to a coffee shop and I just brought my Bible and I prayed the honest prayer that so many, maybe you've prayed yourself. 00:35:43.760 --> 00:35:49.760 God, if you're real, I need you to show up, show yourself to me. 00:35:51.039 --> 00:35:54.159 And if not, I'm out. 00:35:55.199 --> 00:35:57.199 Did the thing that you're probably not supposed to do. 00:35:57.360 --> 00:35:59.039 All I did was just, I did this. 00:35:59.440 --> 00:36:01.440 I just opened up my Bible. 00:36:03.920 --> 00:36:08.800 And in that moment, God met me. 00:36:10.880 --> 00:36:11.760 Personally. 00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:20.239 Because you have a personal rescuer and savior. 00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:34.719 And I'd like to say that it felt like a light switch, you know, and all of a sudden the floodlights came on and the darkness of doubt evaporated, but it was so much more like the rising of the sun. 00:36:36.000 --> 00:36:36.880 Gradual. 00:36:37.920 --> 00:36:43.599 That moment, God, you showed up and you met me, and I know it, and I experienced you. 00:36:44.079 --> 00:36:49.840 And it was as if that darkness began to subside, and you saw the gray of dawn just beginning to peak. 00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:58.639 And then month after month after month, it just began to grow brighter and brighter and brighter. 00:36:59.440 --> 00:37:08.960 And I found what the prophet Jeremiah said so long ago to be absolutely true. 00:37:09.599 --> 00:37:17.840 He said, and you will seek me, and you will find me when you search for me with all your heart. 00:37:20.320 --> 00:37:24.639 You'll seek me and you'll find me when you search for me with all your heart. 00:37:24.719 --> 00:37:37.360 And so if you are there, or if you get there, or when in doubt, when you get there, friends, the only thing I know to say, when in doubt, would you seek Jesus with your whole heart? 00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:41.519 Cling to Him. 00:37:42.159 --> 00:37:43.679 Run to Him. 00:37:44.159 --> 00:37:45.840 Search for Him. 00:37:48.480 --> 00:37:50.559 And He will be found by you. 00:37:52.480 --> 00:37:53.119 For some. 00:37:56.239 --> 00:38:00.400 Yours just an honest prayer that I prayed, God. 00:38:04.960 --> 00:38:10.960 If you're real, I need you to show yourself to me. 00:38:13.599 --> 00:38:14.880 And He will. 00:38:16.639 --> 00:38:17.599 And He will. 00:38:20.639 --> 00:38:32.159 Others are where I'm at now is I remember someone once saying, Don't question in the darkness what God has clearly shown you in the light. 00:38:32.400 --> 00:38:40.239 And that moment at that coffee shop moment is an anchor moment in my faith journey of where God met me specifically and personally. 00:38:40.400 --> 00:38:46.079 I had it at 17, I had it at 22, and I could go on of a few other of those anchor moments. 00:38:46.239 --> 00:38:57.599 So in the journey of life through the ups and downs, I have these anchor moments, these mile markers, these postings of where I go, his faithfulness, he showed up here, he showed up here, and he'll do it again. 00:38:57.760 --> 00:39:09.840 And some of you just need to remember back to when he showed up, when he spoke to you, when he met you, because you are drifting, and he's already given you a tether of his relationship, of his presence. 00:39:12.719 --> 00:39:22.880 And so today, bring to him what is in you, not what ought to be in you. 00:39:25.039 --> 00:39:34.400 And allow Jesus to meet the very places of your heart that you desperately need him to. 00:39:35.360 --> 00:39:37.440 Jesus, thanks for my friends. 00:39:38.079 --> 00:39:40.000 Thanks for your grace. 00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:50.320 Thank you for your tenderness and your kindness, that your presence is peace. 00:39:53.920 --> 00:40:00.880 That you meet us in the places of our doubt, of our struggle, of our uncertainty, but you do not leave us there. 00:40:03.119 --> 00:40:10.000 And so right now, Father, I ask that you would breathe life and hope. 00:40:10.960 --> 00:40:20.159 Holy Spirit, your presence would be so tangible to those lost and wandering, feeling adrift at sea. 00:40:21.599 --> 00:40:22.960 May they hear your voice. 00:40:25.119 --> 00:40:30.159 Even the fact that I'm preaching on this and they walked into this moment is not an accident. 00:40:31.440 --> 00:40:39.920 May they see your hand at work, your intentionality, your care. 00:40:40.639 --> 00:40:41.920 In Jesus' name. 00:40:42.639 --> 00:40:43.280 Amen. 00:40:45.440 --> 00:40:47.760 We hope you are blessed by this message. 00:40:47.920 --> 00:40:52.400 Please subscribe to our podcast for access to every episode as they're uploaded. 00:40:52.559 --> 00:40:54.559 And hey, we'd love to connect with you. 00:40:54.800 --> 00:41:11.599 Take a next step by filling out our virtual connection card at awakeningchurch.com slash cards.